Avoiding Disputes 2020
Channel: Ebrahim Bham
File Size: 20.92MB
Jumu’ah Talk; 18- 12-20
Mayfair Jum’uah Musjid
- The Harms of argumentation and avoiding Disputes.
- The 4 methods of avoiding Disputes
- “Do not dispute (with one another) lest you lose courage and your strength” Quran 8- 46
- “The most hated person in the sight of Allah is the most quarrelsome one.” [Al-Bukhari]
The benefits in interaction in dealing with one another, there are many challenges. Therefore Allah subhanho wa Taala in the Holy Quran. In the last verse in the last Ayat of the 18 Jews Allah tala says what Jana Baba Kuma Li bobbin fitna, I have made you and to one another at trial. So our relationship and our interaction with people, whether it be with our spouse, with our family members, extended family members, our friends, our community members, it's a trial. It's a very great challenge, atmosphere own look at the beauty of the Quran Won't you make summer when you deal with one another make Sabbath. So there is great challenges in interaction. And one of the
challenges in interaction in dealing with one another is the challenge of disputes and arguments, disputes and arguments when you interact with one another, there's always a possibility of you're arguing with one another, and disputes. Therefore, a lie in the Quran says I had to asheboro maluma Furman for all of the hymnal had fallen out of alpha one alpha so
when upon whom hatches for us, then Allah Allah says, You must not commit any sin and you must not commit any act of just injustice, and you must not fight. Now the allama say why did Allah say in hajj what I did, I don't fight because in hajj, there is interaction in hajj you are going together. So because you are going together, there is a possibility of argument. Therefore Allah tala specifically says upon whom so ever had is for us, while he must not go and fight inherent in that in the hedge in the journey. So interaction one of the harms is that there is a possibility of arguments in dispute. Now, basically we have to keep in mind that arguments and disputes is not
something that is good. It takes away and not Allah's blessings. It is not a proper relationship, to be able to argue and dispute with one mother is not a good thing. So look at how Allah subhanho wa Taala has told us and therefore Allah tala while telling us that is a good thing. And that Allah also tells us that argumentation and disputes and fighting is within the inherent characteristic of human being. We're gonna insert at Sarah Shay injured human beings like and prone towards argumentation via Kareem sallallahu alayhi wasallam one occasion, maybe occurring saw cillum went to wake up one Sahabi right it was a time of Salat salah and the Sahaba said certain things and maybe
unclean saw some did not confronting the resources and walked away from their say, but colonel in Santa Clara shangela human be likes to argue. And today we like to argue you find everything that husband and wife by the fine means to argue. So you have the situation one day, I won't say which whether it was the husband or the wife. One day one of the spouses they told the other spouse You know, I'm starting to get old Look at my face a lot of wrinkles here and I'm starting to get old. I'm no more as beautiful and handsome or beautiful as I was before. Tell me something that is complimentary. Tell me something that I will feel good. So the other spouse said your eyesight is
very good. your eyesight is very good. Now human being we like to argue we are like that. So Allah Allah says what can I do in Santa Clara in general, a human being is prone towards arguing we have to as part of our striving as part of our jihad. We have to control ourselves.
Not to fight, not to argue not to dispute Why? Why not and as for dove shallow water the hammer is one of the harms of arguments and disputes and fighting, allow me to weak. Allah makes you weak and Annette Allah takes away your strength allow me to count and this is a reality because of fighting in the oma the oma has become weak. Today we are so we have so many challenges. We have so many enemies, but we spend more time fighting against one another than fighting against our enemies. And then Allah Allah says you have become weak. Look at the history of Spain. 800 years you rule, because of your infighting, you'll have lost everything. Look at other parts of the world who had
glorious civilizations because of infighting you you lost everything. So fighting and I've seen empires I've seen families who are so strong when they started fighting with one another and literally took away the wealth and literally took away the strength and took away the influence. So Allah tala sees what I've done. So don't fight with one another. And now will you know take over your strength, and there are many other harms with regard to fighting it Nika theory. The FSI replica theory narrates that nebia Karim sama while he was selling was coming to tell the oma the precise night of Laila Takada. Now there are other reasons why Allah tala had consumed it, the other
wisdoms, but he saw two people fighting and because of these two people fighting Allah tala lifted at knowledge that they have kiama it naked. Allah says that fighting with one another is so bad that because of this, Allah subhanho wa Taala took away the exile exact and precise night of little color that may be occurring. So Allahu Allah wa sallam came to tell us that Look, man, the wife had said, may you know Mira yesterday or in one way you stub he who fights he will fight with other people he will swear one another he will swear him. Well, that person will swear him and both are not good. Why must you swear someone Why must you be the objective? Or the back of someone's swearing you may
use a mirror yes to use them. He will fight he's going to swear someone or someone is going to sway him. So both of these are not with Abdullah Edna Hassan, the son of assembler below Toronto says. He said what do you think of dispute? What do you think of a dispute and argument? He replied, it spoils all friendships and severs firm relationship, arguments breaks friendships, arguments break friendship. And at least if you overpower another person in argument, you break ties with him by pidurangala, one of our great scholars who say, don't win an argument and win a battle and lose the war, win an argument and lose a person. So I have
to say stop arguing. Stop disputing why it spoils firm relationship and friendship and through the means of that. When you even overpower a person in an argument in a dispute. What happens you break the relationship, it's not worth it. Now one of the one of the great things with regard to our deal, one of the great things of our Dinis when he tells us to do something he tells us how to achieve it. Yeah, you Marina de la la kuno Masada t O you who believe fear Allah, how much you fear Allah? How do you achieve the poor? By being in the company of the pious, so he told us to achieve the quiet told us how to achieve. Now when Islam tells us not to fight, he tells us not to argue. And then it
shows us how not to argue. It shows us how not to fight. What are the ways Islam has taught us with regard to staying away from arguments and disputes? Look at the beauty of Islam. One of the first things he tells us walk away from an argument when someone fights with you. Someone wants to argue with you don't fight with him in return. Walk away. Well either thought he'll own Paulo Salama, when the GI Hill engages you in argument and engages you in a dispute. Although Salama say peace unto you, I want to argue with you is the idea of our beloved NaVi occurring saucer, which says when a person is fasting, and another person engages in an argument, he starts arguing with him, failure
call him romancer him, tell him, I am fasting I don't want to fight. So he says first thing Islam tells us walk away from an argument. Stay away from an argument. Don't get involved in arguments. Walk away from a place where you know that you're going to argue, you know, you're going to go to a place we're going to have you stay away from it go there for a little while, come away. Don't go into a place where you are going to argue or speak to a person which leads to argument. Sometimes what you must do, you must use humor to stay away from an argument. So they say someone calls another person. He said you are ugly. So the person reports responded and said excuse me, I'm not a
So he said my ugly face Excuse me, Mr. Tamura walk away from an argument stay away from an argument nakooma but walk away from an argument. Firstly, second thing of all Am I have made mentioned
Sometimes you must walk em, consider unilateral withdrawal.
One is one is to say a person and one is you get into an argument you know you are right. But you walk away from an argument because you don't want to get involved with that argument. So there's a hadith in Abu Dhabi. Sharif, what a beautiful maybe a cream sauce from said Anna zombie bacon. He was still generally Morocco, Morocco, Morocco. I guarantee a house in the middle of Jenna for a person who walks away from an argument why he is hot. Why he is correct. Can you imagine? He knows that he is correct. But he doesn't want to argue with another person because he doesn't like argumentation. He doesn't like fighting. So the person consider considering unilateral withdrawal.
Sometimes, it's not worth it winning an argument with someone who might be a fool. Someone said, you know, if a person argues with a fool, then they are two fools. If a person argues with the food, then they are two fools. So stay away from an argument consider unilateral withdrawal. And then we are getting so slim it's it's such a great, what a great reward. And as a human debating, it was subtle, Jenna Lehman takamura ohakune 30 after the first one, walk away from an argument, second thing is you consider unilateral withdrawal 30 forgive the person, someone now he does you right? He does you wrong. He speaks against you. He she swears you he abuses you he fights with you consider
forgiveness. Now forgiveness is a very amazing thing. People don't realize what is forgiveness. You don't forgive a person for something that you are on wrong. Forgiveness is a right
to which you are entitled to.
But you forego that right? For the sake of Allah. So look at Allah Allah says in the 21st Jews of the Holy Quran, in Surah, two surah
witches will say you can say yeah, to me through her witches who say yet in say year to me through her, someone does you are wrong. The legal recompense of a wrong that someone does you is to do him that much wrong. It's a legal risk. And that is a technical way. You took 100 grand from you, you must go and take that 100 grand back from him. That is a legal position from Islam, which is I will say yet in say here to miss Roja from an alpha we're also gonna have Andrew who Allah, but if you forgive, and you overlook, you laugh.
So why you you forgive? Not because you are wrong, you know, I gotta write. I am entitled to that. But I have chosen to forgive. Why Because Allah Allah said, I will give you a better reward. Wonderful,
wonderful. taqwa. If you forgive, it is closer towards the cloud. And many times you and I, we feel that if I forgive, I'm weak. So Allah by forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. Forgiveness is a sign of strength. How many times maybe occurrence awesome, forgive people. But whenever we give the example of forgiveness of a vehicle, we always give the example of his forgiveness. After four times, he conquered people that people were in front of the people who harmed him who had these children who harmed his uncle. They were in front of them. And he he asked, he asked him, What do you think I'm going to do with you? They said, You are very respectable and a very honorable and
generous person, and maybe are criminals and said, Let us leave alikoum. Yes. Go Africa forgiven you. And we speak about forgiveness, when, when he conquered Makkah, when he was powerful, you can only forgive when you are powerful. When you are weak, you can only beg for forgiveness, you can forgive. And therefore Latina says when a man Sabra was
more, he will adopt Subbu and he forgives. This is an act of great courage. It's a great act of great ambition.
So the third thing you do with regard to our audit, and Atilla tells us we don't Kasama walk away from it, consider unilateral withdrawal. Thirdly, forgive for thing. Now, if you feel that the argument is quite, you know, serious, then consider mediation and arbitration. Go to people whom you have respect for, and ask them and tell them, we've got this particular problem. We've got this particular issue, help us in solving it. So you can make Sula or you can go for arbitration. And both of these are in the Holy Quran. Allah Allah in the Holy Quran says was so higher, compromise is higher, Sula is higher, what is the meaning of surah Sula means that you speak to a person you have
a dispute, you have an argument, we have an issue, we have a contentious issue and you say, listen, let us come after me. I forego some of my rights. You forego some of your rights and you come in between and this is such an
Anything and law itself says sudo hire to compromise is clear. It is goodness. Our elders used to tell us many times they say don't go and argue in court. Don't go to court even if you win a battle in court. Even if you win the situation in the argument in court, they say a compromise. a compromise that way you don't get everything. You get less than what you anticipated. You get less than what you think you are due is better than a good judgment which you win in court. So learn to make Sula learn from and get someone who can make this will get someone who can make and make this Ola nebia Kareem Salah William sillimanite chalazia lauten one day they were arguing over something.
So look at this argument is such a thing that even happened between the reoccurring sossalamander
between the via cream sauce in him in his wives. So they said okay, let us get someone who will who will mediate between us. So they said we agree upon Uber karate along. So Uber Cara villatoro came to mediate between Sri Sri Ravi allotter and they'll be occurring saucer. But when we saw cillum when I said at the Latina related her situation and her complaints as an Uber karakura take it Can you imagine this is a beauty and while currently taking, I shall be allowed and I was a wife, a wife I certain demands a wife or a certain rights, she can make those rights. She can make those arguments and brothers when your wife complains against you be happy. The day she doesn't complain
against you, then you must be worried. Maybe she's complaining again to to someone else. If she's fighting with me and arguing with you. There is also a blessing, at least is arguing with you. Otherwise, you might go and argue with someone else or speak bad about you in front of someone else. So when I shut your mouth and I made mention of those things, she was alive, she had every right to say those things. But Abu Bakar was a devoted follower. He couldn't take it. He said How dare you speak against my nebulizers and he caught up and to win rebuke, I Shara villalta, he caught up to rebuke Ayesha delaughter and nebia cream sauce alum stood between as a worker in protecting over
caribou Can I call you to mediate you are now getting angry with your daughter. And then we saw some said no go away you are not the mediator. You are not the correct mediator. And the reason was, and there was nothing wrong. I mean, he was a devoted follower. He looked at it like that. So then when this thing happened, they were they went away then
afterwards realize whatever it is, he came back, and he saw I share with you Allahu taala haha. And
they were laughing with one another. They were joking with one another. So maybe as I said, jasola can I join your joking and your humor the way I was there previously at the time of your dispute? Swan Allah. So look at that sometimes you need to make sooner sometimes you need to go and go and make a medium mediation. Arbitration is such a beautiful thing. The greatest walk that you will take in a dispute an argument is to walk halfway to meet the opposite party. The greatest walk you will take it in argument is to walk halfway to meet the party halfway and you resolve the issue. And if you can win 15 shikaka benei Hema phurba hakama min Allahi wa hakama min Allah and our Allah Allah
says if there is an argument between husband and wife, let him appoint someone who will be his spokesperson, that the wife of appoint someone who will be the spokesperson, let them come up and they have mediation arbitration. Let them come in resolve the issue to a letter tells us about mediation, arbitration. So all of these things are situations which tells us about how to resolve our issues. Stay away from an argument for ways and let's say it's way too hot.
When someone argues with you walk away from it, see Salama second thing consider unilateral, what's the one thing forgive the person who has done you wrong? And in forgiving, not because he is right? Because you don't want to live with a burden. You can be you can be a person who is a victim for the rest of your life. But when you forgive you take away the aspect of the burden you take away the aspect of the whole situation of bitterness you walk away from the witness there's so much wisdom in that and and therefore say Well yeah, for warriors for who who and forgiven pardon overlook and not to Hippo now.
Don't you wish it Allah tala must forgive you, the more you forgive other people and never forgive you. And the fourth thing is consider mediation, arbitration Sula, compromise in terms of resolving. And lastly I will make mention one of the very important things is we as people who are sitting and looking at people who are fighting what is our responsibility, now we are carrying salsa one day to the Sahaba Allah miracle, the the
millennial salamina should tell you something that is even more, more greater, more rewarding. Then performing Salah.
giving charity and keeping fast balaia Rasul Allah genasi Rasul Allah and Islam
reconcile people bring people together. No, we don't bring people together. We won't put more fuel in the fire that Adam said bring people together it is even more rewarding than your salad. Then your charity, then you're fasting. bring people together. Because when you fight, he'll Hannukah it shaves off and I don't say chief of your hair, it shaves off your dean. When you fight Allah tala takes away your dean himself. So therefore nebbia cream sauce and said they sell Coca Cola the useless Aveda nurse, he is not a liar who brings people together. Even if you say certain things which are against apparently against effects, but if he brings people together Listen, he is not.
And there is a statement of one of the Sahaba the name escapes me What a beautiful statement. I will conclude with this. He said walk one mile to come visit your Muslim para. Walk two miles to visit someone who is sick. But walk three miles to go and bring two people together. Walk one mile one visitor Muslim brother, walk two miles if he's sick, walk three miles. If he's fighting, and other people are fighting and you bring them together, maybe a cream sauce woman on occasion must start with Jamaat in Nigeria nabawi because he went to win mediate between two tribes that were fighting. May Allah subhanho wa Taala keep us together. And that'll keep us with Baba. Rosanna Tata to me, no
one told me No.
You cannot enter general until you have love and you do not have love until you do not enter into general until we have human. You don't have a man until we have love for another and maybe a trench or some say so worst of people in the eyes of Allah tala and the
other person, the one who sits in fight all the time. He's the worst of people in front of Almighty Allah. May Allah subhanaw taala always keep us together with Mahabharata love Allah Allah keep us from argumentation and disputes because disputes have no good. It takes us away from our objectives. It makes us weak it makes us cowards and it earns the wrath and the angle for my colossal Hannah Allah