Asif Hirani – Seeing Your Own Shortcomings
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AI: Transcript ©
I just wanted to speak to you about
how to see our own shortcomings.
I remember almost 8 to 10 years ago,
I was exposed to this work.
First of all, by Ma'am Ghazali, then by.
Abdul Jossy, other scholars also compiled this,
and it really helped me. The advice, the
4 point agenda, the 4 advice which they
have, which I want to share with you,
it really helped me not only in my
career, but even as an individual
because it helped me to see my flaws,
see my shortcomings,
because we are blindsided when it comes to
looking at our own mistakes, looking at our
own flaws. We are very quick in looking
at the flaws of others. So his advice
is how you can find out your own
shortcomings.
So I think that just like it helped
me and it is helping me until today,
I hope that inshallah, we all can find
this beneficial
inshallah
because, you have to keep this in mind
that all of us, we have some positive
traits in our character and personality and some
negative traits. We all have some gems and
jewels and pearls within our characteristic,
and at the same time, we might have
some some snake or scorpions within our character.
And a person who is intelligent will able
to recognize
those flaws and shortcomings in his character, in
her character, and they will eventually recognize that
and try to fix that. And if the
person is not intelligent, if the person is
not smart, then eventually he will be busy
intel himself or herself and just keep looking
at the flaws of the world, but he
will going to be he will going to
become blind or she will going to become
blind when it comes to his or her
own mistake. So that's why this advice is
very powerful.
Just remember these 4 things Insha'Allah.
And, obviously, when I'm talking, I will be
speaking from an imam perspective, but
you whether you are working, in a school,
in college, wherever you are, try to apply
these 4 things in order to have a
journey towards self development.
So he start by saying,
He says,
know that when Allah
intends good for someone, when Allah wants to
give good
to someone, Allah
will expose him to his or her own
flaws.
So he start by that. Because when Allah
wants good for you, you will recognize that
there are mistakes, there are shortcomings,
there are flaws within my own character, and
I need to fix that.
And then he says,
he who have a deep insight,
he who have a deep reflection ability,
his defects,
his shortcomings or her shortcomings are not concealed
or hidden from him or her.
And then he says when defects are known,
then only you can fix it. In any
stage of problem solving,
the very first stage is to recognize there
is a one.
So he says the first stage to
solve your problem that you have this shortcomings
is to recognize that you have an issue
with your character or your personality.
So he says this that if we do
these 4 things, inshallah, we'll able to help
ourselves in finding short shortcomings and flaws within
our character and personalities.
By the way, we all know now we
are living in a western civilization,
21st century, how much
how much big corporations
spend to get customer feedback.
There's an entire field and science for that.
Getting customer feedback surveys,
how to basically make sure to get the
criticism of the customer on our product. The
more criticism we get on our product so
that we can improve next time. Same thing
happened with our self development journey towards Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala.
So there are 4 things we can do,
and all of us can do. Whether you
are a 9 year old boy or
a 80 year old or brother or sister,
we all can do this. Let's just start.
First thing,
he says
He says all of us should get a
mentor in our life,
a mentor who is wise,
a mentor who is knowledgeable,
A mentor who can not only teach us,
but he can sit with us and he
can listen to us and he can tell
that, okay, Asif, you are struggling with arrogance
here. You are struggling
with jealousy here, and we need to listen
to the mentor then. Just like a patient
listen to a doctor's advice
because your mentor will be quick to gauge
or judge based on his wisdom about the
guidelines
to your self development journey, about the feedback
which you need to hear, or even if
you don't need to hear but you need
that, you need that advice. There are many
benefits of having mentors by the way, even
in your professional life, in your work.
And, obviously, most importantly, the religion. Your mentor
will help you in the process of your
self development. Your mentor will even help you
to give give you proper knowledge. Your mentor
will help you sometimes to basically listen to
your ideas and give you the feasibility report.
Is it something what you want to do
with your life is something real or not?
Even your mentors can help you to build
connections. But most importantly, what he's saying here,
Imam Ghazali is saying here, that your mentor
will going to fix your character issues.
If you are having some issues of heart,
negative characteristics in your heart, he will going
to fix that.
Obviously, finding a mentor,
trustworthy,
sincere,
wise, knowledgeable mentor is a difficult task, isn't
it?
Because
we are talking about these scholars who said
this, like, let's take the example of Imam
Ghazali came in 5th century after Rasulullah SAWS.
So it's 4/50.
His date of birth, 5th 5 05, Hijri,
he passed away, rahi mawlullah.
He said this, and he
accepted that to find a real sincere wise
mentor is difficult, and we are talking about
1000 years back.
So 1000 years upfront, it will be difficult
to find such a mentor.
But at the same time, when there is
no water, you can do taymoun.
So you need to look around your community
who is balanced in his life, who remembers
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, who have basic knowledge
of Islam, but at the same time he
have wisdom also along with the knowledge of
Islam because they are 2 different things as
recognized by the Quran and Hadith. And eventually
you can talk to him, And at the
same time, we don't have
a faith like Catholicism where you have to
confess of your sins like to the pastor.
You have to make sure that the door
of abuse is never open. But having mentor
for yourself development is extremely, extremely necessary. I
cannot tell you how much benefit I got
when I started talking to my mentors for
my self development.
The the fact that I'm giving this,
the fact that whatever classes I'm teaching after
the father of Allah is actually because my
mentors advised me to go in a certain
direction. And I'll request all of you from
the beginning, from the childhood, develop this habit
to your kids that start having mentors and
talk to them.
2nd
second point after mentorship,
he says,
He says apart from talking to your mentors
about your self development, one of the other
ways of finding your shortcomings
is to ask your sincere friend,
who is wise and sincere friend in the
community,
to tell you your mistakes.
Not everyone, not every friend,
only sincere friend.
And not only these sincere who is pretending
to be sincere,
because there are people who are jealous with
you, but they will pretend to be sincere,
but real sincere friend. And it requires some
effort to find out those friends. But once
you find out those friends, then ask those
friends. Can you tell me my mistakes, my
shortcomings when I interact with people?
Did you feel too much about me, my
eye?
So ask those friends. And by the way,
this is the habit of sahabah.
Umar ibn Khattab radiAllahu anhu he used to
ask other sahaba like Salman al Farhi radiAllahu
anhu, and there are multiple narrations mentioned, but
one one time he asked Salman al Farhi,
can you tell me my flaws? Am I
the khalifa or a king?
Am I acting like a khalifa right now,
Salman? Or am I an oppressive king? And
Salman al Fafi said that,
see, we know the process. If you are
taking money off people
unjustly,
then you are a king.
And if you are trying to be just
as much as you can, then you are
a khalifa.
So he was upfront
that please tell me my mistakes, please tell
me my flaws, please tell me my shortcomings.
Umar Radhiallahu reported to have said,
May Allah have mercy on that person who
tell me my shortcomings.
This is a process all of you have
to go through. Some people they just from
the childhood, adulthood, old age,
they have the issue of arrogance, they have
the issue of anger, and they never able
to fix it. Because they never gone through
this process of asking people what are the
mistakes I have and how can I improve?
Because many times your ego filters out information.
Your arrogance filters out the information.
So it's extremely important to ask your sincere
friend
to go through this process.
By the way, it's difficult today
to ask sincere friends to criticize on you.
First of all, we are not intelligent enough
to ask our friends who would criticize on
us.
That's that's one thing. We are not smart
enough like Omar Ibn Khattab radiAllahu an. And
second, it's really hard to find sincere friends
because many a times what you find are
jealous friends,
and, they always wants to see your demise.
And I'm not saying this that this is
happening today, even back in the days.
People will come in the form that they
are sincere. They are giving nasiha,
but sometimes they are jealous with you. Didn't
we see Surah Araf
where Iblis said to Adam Iblis was jealous,
right, with Adam? He says, Inni lakumma la
minan
nasihin minan nasihah. No. No. No. I'm giving
nasihah to you. I'm giving sincere advice to
you. But we know he was jealous. He
was not giving sincere advice. So when a
person says I'm giving sincere advice,
not necessarily you have to take him on
his words. You have to see how ma'am,
what kind of personal relationship you have.
And that's why we are being told to
ask this dua. They're always asked to have
a sincere friends in your life. See, Rasulullah
did not only tell us the dua of
how to use restroom, how to come out
of restroom, or to pray in the salah.
Even for sincere friends, he used to say,
Oh, Allah. I seek your refuge. I seek
your protection from having
hypocrite friend, from having 2 faced friend.
He's always looking at my sins. I don't
want that. If Rasulullah salam is so skeptical
about sincere friends, then we are more deserving
for this dua than anyone else.
3rd. 3rd. So first is have mentors. Ask
your mentor. Tell you your shortcomings.
2nd,
have sincere friends in your life. 3rd,
learn from your enemies.
This is difficult.
Sometime your
sweet tongue friend won't able to tell you
the shortcomings you have, but your enemy, whether
in your work, in your school, the troublemaker
friend or troublemaker family,
member, troublemaker relative, we're going to tell you
out of his animosity, out of her animosity,
the problem in your personality, the problem in
your character.
Even though it will feel bad because of
destructive criticism,
but learn that that there is one issue
which I need to fix in my personality.
This is shortcoming even though it's coming from
your enemy.
Because
their eyes the eyes of a critics are
too quick to diagnose these shortcomings within us.
And 4th, last, because I know it's 115
already.
Mingle with people to see your faults.
If you're you already have a mentor, you
already have some sincere friends who are telling
you shortcomings in your personality and character, and
you are already keep looking at the critics
what they are saying, but at the same
time, have this.
Go and mingle with the people in your
family, in your community, in your work. See
how different people with negative characteristics are reacting.
Oh, that brother, he's clearly struggling with arrogance.
Wait a minute. I have the same characteristic
in me. I should fix that.
That sister,
she's clearly struggling
from jealousy. Wait a minute. I do see
I do the same thing.
Just by observing people, be proactive,
and we all can do this. And the
moment you were going to take out the
fix your character and do the self development,
you will see it's like an onion. When
you peel the onion, one layer will come
and you will see that other layer is
attached to the onion. And there is no
goal for this character because it's a mean.
You can never say that I have achieved
the character of Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wa sallam
because that was the prophet salallahu alaihi wa
sallam. We ask Allah to
give us the understanding,
of all this what what was being said
and give us the ability to analyze our
shortcomings and to fix it.
Just quickly,
even though this advice of having mentor
and friends who can tell you about your
shortcomings
is for everyone,
but it's really important if you are doing
any Islamic work, Islamic activism
activism, running a masjid,
studying Islam, Khatib, running a relief organization,
Islamic teacher running a school, Islamic school, volunteer
Islamic work, then you should definitely have a
mentor. Then you should definitely have people surrounding
you who can tell you this is right
and this is wrong. Because many times when
you are doing something Islamic related, you will
sound perfect, and your ego will going to
filter out every criticism.
That's a recipe to disaster. We ask Allah
to keep shaitan away from us and to
give us the ability to accept our flaws
and mistakes so we can improve that inshallah.