Amjad Tarsin – Pornography Addiction

Welcome back. According to nisiha, a Muslim youth helpline, one of

the most pressing issues facing young Muslims is the easy access

to free and infinite amount of *, internet, music

videos and movies makes it more prominent and almost gives one the

ideology that it is acceptable in our times today. Regardless, it is

a very important issue and one of the most popular trends amongst

Muslim males. Let's hear what amji tarsi, Muslim chaplain at the

University of Toronto, has to say on this topic and his own

experiences with counseling students. Welcome back to the

show, amjit, thank you for having me. So we're talking about a

difficult and disturbing topic. I know you do provide counseling. Is

a * addiction, something that you that you see often? Yeah,

it's something that I see more often than I would like to, and

within what age range and in the Muslim community, right? Yeah. So,

so I'm speaking of exclusively the Muslim community, mostly students

who come to me for counseling. And you know, every so often someone

will come in, even in one case, a young woman coming in and telling

me that they have a * addiction. And I recognize it's a

hard topic to talk about. It's very sensitive, but the reality is

is that it's there, it's available, and we really need to

figure out ways to inoculate ourselves against something that

is a spiritual, emotional and social disease. Now, you know

there are a lot of statistics that you know, if you Google

* addiction, it's very, very, unfortunately, very common,

and the statistics are disturbing.

But when it comes to statistics, sorry, a lot of people are kind of

like, well, that's a broad statistic. It doesn't relate to

me. And I would go as to say maybe the Muslim community also feels

like that. What's your take when we look at the statistics on that?

Yeah, if you look at statistics in general, in society, the Muslim

community is not immune to what everyone else around them is going

through. So oftentimes those statistics really transfer over.

We just don't like to talk about it, and the statistics are very

shocking. For example, there's a statistic that was mentioned in an

article in the Washington Post how a large number of US university

students males had watched * in the last year, and

of those who have that, 83% of them were more likely to commit

sexual assault or not report it if they saw a sexual assault

occurring. So it's warping people's minds, their sense of

morality, their sense of decency. It objectifies women, and it

really destroys the internal fabric of a human being. And I

know we were talking off air briefly about, you know, it also

promotes things that are considered like illegal, like *

*, and you're hearing about that as well. I mean, it's

once again, it's a reality. It's something we don't like to talk

about. But one of the most highly watched genres of * is

* *. So what does that do to someone's mind? What

does that make a person who has become addicted to that kind of of

poison when they go out in the street and they see they see

women, what does that make them look at them like? You know? How

does that affect their perception of reality? It objectifies them,

and it really takes away the common human decency that we're

supposed to afford one another. And I would say the Muslim

community, once again, is not fully immune to that, especially

with devices like cell phones and laptops and so forth. And most

people who come to me, they say it's their cell phone or their

tablet, it's it's readily available, and we need to, we need

to warn people from a young age. I know a lot of people don't want to

talk to their children about this, and I appreciate that there needs

to be sensitivity, but we really need to warn them from a young age

to be very careful that this isn't something that's just exciting,

but this is something that is very damaging, like a drug. So tell me

a little bit about that. What are the implications when it comes to

* addiction based on your counseling that you've

provided, and also, you know, you said talking about this at a young

age, what is like? What is that age as well, I would say around

the age of puberty, 1213, years old, especially, maybe even a

little bit younger, to prepare them, depending on the access that

they have to technology. Every household is different. Every

parenting style is different, but at the very least, if not talking

about *, talking about the fact that there are bad images

out there, if you just google search a regular thing, you might

have, you have, like, a billion image come up accidentally. So we

need to really tell young people to be very careful, to know that

this is both forbidden religiously, but very damaging

personally. And many of the implications that I've seen are

people isolate themselves. They become very socially awkward. They

prefer isolation so that they can engage.

In their addiction, they have a hard time getting married. And

then the studies that are coming out is that it actually alters the

brain chemistry that certain hormones are released in the brain

when these images are seen. And then, just like a drug, people are

looking for more and more intense expressions so that they can get

that that pleasure experience through the hormone release or

whatever in their brains, which changes their their brains, and

changes what they actually experience pleasure, and which is

why people who are addicted to * actually don't find a

whole lot of satisfaction in marriage. So it's it's bad.

And what about just so we can, I guess, especially for our viewers

who might be disturbed by this conversation or having this

conversation for the first time, when we talk about *

addiction, is that? And I just want to break down the term

addiction as it relates to *. Is it where you're just obsessed

with it? And so 24/7, that's what you want to do at all times. Or

what does that look like? Is it similar to drug addiction, people

who have a drinking problem? It is. It is similar to drug

addiction. And I think one of the one of the definitions of an

addiction is that a person continuously seeks it, and that it

starts to increase, that the person does not satisfy themselves

with the same amount of intake, but that they actually look for

more and more. They look for a bigger high, which is why it gets

more and more intense, which is why you have a genre like great

*. Who on earth would watch that? But you start to

realize that people are looking for more.

You know, quote, unquote, hardcore expressions so that they can

actually get that that release in their brain to feel that pleasure

for something at the beginning that they would have found

repulsive. So it is, it is an addiction. And for anyone who's

watching, who might be suffering or challenged by this, there are

institutions even like CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental

Health has services for even * addiction and things

related to that. So there are even mental institutions, mental health

institutions, that are recognizing that this is a problem that needs

to be addressed. And once again, if you look at the *

consumption worldwide, Muslim majority countries are high on

that list. So we can't really act like we're not a part of this. And

what about, I guess, from a spiritual sense, just so people

aren't, you know, people are watching and you know, if they are

dealing with this, just so they don't feel completely like there's

no turning back. From a spiritual sense, we know that there are

resources out there and we'll provide the link. But from that

sense, what's your we always believe spiritually, that the door

to Allah, the door to God, is always open,

and that even if someone has engaged in great harm towards

themselves or even others, that there is always an opportunity to

turn back, that we believe that God is a Rahman, a Rahim, the Most

Merciful, the Most Compassionate, and that God loves for His

servants to turn back, and loves for them to repent, and wants them

to attain this wholeness and This contentment and this wholesomeness

of heart and of life, which is why, you know, so many of these

things are forbidden to begin with, so that people don't harm

themselves. But even if someone has gone down that road, there's

always an opportunity to turn back, as long as there's life,

right? So we never write anyone off. We never lose hope. We never

think that there's no going back for me, I'm too far gone. There's

always an opportunity, and God can heal all scars, but we just have

to take whatever steps are available. And when we take those

practical steps, then spiritually, we will also begin to heal as

well. So is it? Is it focusing on taking the practical steps and

then repenting to God? What is that spiritual component? The

spiritual component? The spiritual component is that turning back to

God is that we cease from from doing that which harms us, that

sin, in this case, it would be watching *, definitely

taking all of the means available that are good to overcoming that

addiction or that obsession. And so the practical and the spiritual

are actually very much intertwined, absolutely, and then

turning back to God and asking God for forgiveness and asking God for

healing and asking God for the strength never to go back. So it's

both of those. It's a disturbing topic, but I'm glad we ended off

on that note. So thank you. Thank you very much. There's always

hope. Thank you very much for having thanks.

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