Alpha-Him Jobe – Family in Islam 9

Alpha-Him Jobe
Share Page

AI: Summary ©

The rights of parents are discussed, including being kind to parents and not using harsh language. The speaker emphasizes the importance of humility and offers advice on how to address children in a pleasant and caring way. The speaker also advises parents to address their children in terms of honor and kindness, and stress the need to lower one's wings to listen to their parents and show them their true intentions. The speaker also discusses the cost of changing one's parents' clothing and finding affordable accessory costs.

AI: Summary ©

00:00:00 --> 00:00:02
			The Quran is to worship Allah subhanahu wa
		
00:00:02 --> 00:00:04
			ta'ala and serve
		
00:00:04 --> 00:00:07
			his cause, the cause of truth and justice,
		
00:00:07 --> 00:00:08
			love and mercy.
		
00:00:09 --> 00:00:11
			Let me give you now the rights
		
00:00:12 --> 00:00:12
			of
		
00:00:13 --> 00:00:15
			each one in this family.
		
00:00:17 --> 00:00:19
			Let's start with the rights of parents.
		
00:00:48 --> 00:00:49
			Check Surah 17,
		
00:00:51 --> 00:00:51
			Ayah 23,
		
00:00:53 --> 00:00:54
			Allahu Tabarakuatala
		
00:00:54 --> 00:00:56
			is addressing the rights of parents,
		
00:00:58 --> 00:00:59
			Which is husband
		
00:00:59 --> 00:01:03
			and wife, father and mother. They are rights.
		
00:01:03 --> 00:01:04
			How to give them rights?
		
00:01:06 --> 00:01:08
			Number one right,
		
00:01:09 --> 00:01:10
			Allahu Tabaraq Wa Thala
		
00:01:13 --> 00:01:15
			says in Al Quran al Kareem,
		
00:01:22 --> 00:01:23
			that your lord
		
00:01:24 --> 00:01:24
			has decreed
		
00:01:25 --> 00:01:27
			that you, all of you,
		
00:01:28 --> 00:01:30
			worship no one but him,
		
00:01:31 --> 00:01:33
			and that you be kind to parent.
		
00:01:34 --> 00:01:36
			Here a lot of our said,
		
00:01:36 --> 00:01:37
			kind
		
00:01:37 --> 00:01:38
			to parents,
		
00:01:39 --> 00:01:41
			not just kind to your parents.
		
00:01:43 --> 00:01:46
			You have to understand that. Kind to parent.
		
00:01:48 --> 00:01:49
			Any parent,
		
00:01:49 --> 00:01:51
			you have to kind to parents.
		
00:01:52 --> 00:01:52
			Kind to parents.
		
00:01:54 --> 00:01:56
			Then we have to give kindness to the
		
00:01:56 --> 00:01:56
			parents.
		
00:01:58 --> 00:02:01
			Then he said, whether 1 or both of
		
00:02:01 --> 00:02:04
			them attend the old age in your life,
		
00:02:04 --> 00:02:07
			say not to them a word of contempt.
		
00:02:14 --> 00:02:17
			That's the number 1? Yes. That's number 2.
		
00:02:17 --> 00:02:19
			Number 2. Be kind,
		
00:02:20 --> 00:02:21
			but don't use harshness.
		
00:02:23 --> 00:02:25
			By using the words of contempt.
		
00:02:27 --> 00:02:30
			And that is coming back to body language.
		
00:02:30 --> 00:02:32
			You know, sometimes people they don't talk, but
		
00:02:32 --> 00:02:34
			the body language is telling you often. Often
		
00:02:34 --> 00:02:37
			is not something has, you know, a lot
		
00:02:37 --> 00:02:40
			of meanings. It's just body language. Like your
		
00:02:40 --> 00:02:42
			your your mother said, oh, Ahmed, can you
		
00:02:42 --> 00:02:44
			give me that glass? What?
		
00:02:44 --> 00:02:47
			You see, that what is who are you
		
00:02:47 --> 00:02:48
			to tell me that to be in the
		
00:02:48 --> 00:02:48
			glass?
		
00:02:49 --> 00:02:50
			What?
		
00:02:50 --> 00:02:53
			So sometimes they don't even say what. They
		
00:02:53 --> 00:02:54
			just open their head.
		
00:02:55 --> 00:02:57
			I mean, can you give me a glass?
		
00:02:57 --> 00:02:58
			I
		
00:02:58 --> 00:02:59
			mean, what?
		
00:03:01 --> 00:03:04
			That is body language. That is so so
		
00:03:04 --> 00:03:05
			bad.
		
00:03:05 --> 00:03:07
			You said, yes, ma'am. How do you laugh?
		
00:03:08 --> 00:03:09
			But not
		
00:03:09 --> 00:03:10
			well,
		
00:03:11 --> 00:03:14
			give me chance, man. I'm I'm looking something.
		
00:03:14 --> 00:03:17
			Now you wanna just justify not giving her
		
00:03:17 --> 00:03:19
			the glass. You just come into the television.
		
00:03:19 --> 00:03:21
			Oh, ma'am, look in this.
		
00:03:21 --> 00:03:24
			Why look in the television? Your your Umi
		
00:03:24 --> 00:03:25
			said give me the glass.
		
00:03:26 --> 00:03:27
			Drop everything and give her the glass.
		
00:03:28 --> 00:03:30
			Then don't use the word of contempt.
		
00:03:34 --> 00:03:35
			And address them
		
00:03:36 --> 00:03:39
			in terms of honor, that is another
		
00:03:39 --> 00:03:41
			right. You have to address them in terms
		
00:03:41 --> 00:03:43
			of honor. You cannot go to the house
		
00:03:43 --> 00:03:45
			and addressing your your father and your mother
		
00:03:45 --> 00:03:48
			with raising voice. Even you have the facts,
		
00:03:48 --> 00:03:50
			you are right, but still you don't have
		
00:03:50 --> 00:03:52
			the right to raise your voice against them.
		
00:03:53 --> 00:03:55
			If your father is wrong,
		
00:03:55 --> 00:03:57
			you have to address your father as wrong.
		
00:03:57 --> 00:03:59
			But that mean you're gonna humiliate your father.
		
00:03:59 --> 00:04:02
			You are wrong, you know. Shame on you
		
00:04:02 --> 00:04:04
			father doing this, that. No, no, no. He
		
00:04:04 --> 00:04:07
			says stop, but I think that's not right.
		
00:04:07 --> 00:04:08
			Even you are not addressing mother, you are
		
00:04:08 --> 00:04:09
			wrong.
		
00:04:09 --> 00:04:11
			You always tell your father, I think that
		
00:04:11 --> 00:04:12
			is not right.
		
00:04:13 --> 00:04:14
			I think it's not right.
		
00:04:14 --> 00:04:16
			You you face it that way. But don't
		
00:04:16 --> 00:04:18
			tell your mother, no, no, no, no. That's
		
00:04:18 --> 00:04:19
			not true.
		
00:04:20 --> 00:04:23
			That is so serious to tell your mother
		
00:04:23 --> 00:04:24
			that is not true.
		
00:04:25 --> 00:04:27
			Today, children, they are using the word, you
		
00:04:27 --> 00:04:28
			are a lie.
		
00:04:29 --> 00:04:30
			But they don't understand
		
00:04:31 --> 00:04:32
			even the meaning of lie.
		
00:04:33 --> 00:04:34
			Lie is dangerous.
		
00:04:36 --> 00:04:37
			Okay. Then address them in the terms of
		
00:04:37 --> 00:04:38
			honor.
		
00:04:39 --> 00:04:40
			Address them
		
00:04:42 --> 00:04:44
			in the terms of kindness. When you are
		
00:04:44 --> 00:04:47
			addressing them, you have to use very pleasant
		
00:04:47 --> 00:04:48
			language to them.
		
00:04:49 --> 00:04:51
			That is their right. I'm not talking about
		
00:04:52 --> 00:04:53
			what is good for you to do. This
		
00:04:53 --> 00:04:56
			is what you supposed to do. It's their
		
00:04:56 --> 00:04:58
			right to get that from you as the
		
00:04:58 --> 00:04:59
			child.
		
00:05:00 --> 00:05:01
			Lower to them
		
00:05:02 --> 00:05:03
			the wings of humility,
		
00:05:05 --> 00:05:07
			meaning humble yourself towards them.
		
00:05:10 --> 00:05:12
			And lowering the wings of humility
		
00:05:13 --> 00:05:15
			can be humbleness or help.
		
00:05:16 --> 00:05:18
			As you know, the bird is lowering the
		
00:05:18 --> 00:05:20
			wings to cover the babies.
		
00:05:21 --> 00:05:23
			You have to do the same thing. You
		
00:05:23 --> 00:05:25
			demonstrate like the bird
		
00:05:26 --> 00:05:29
			was lowering the wings to cover the babies
		
00:05:29 --> 00:05:30
			when the weather is cold.
		
00:05:33 --> 00:05:33
			When
		
00:05:33 --> 00:05:34
			the situation
		
00:05:35 --> 00:05:36
			is difficult,
		
00:05:37 --> 00:05:39
			cover your parents, support them
		
00:05:39 --> 00:05:40
			with kindness.
		
00:05:40 --> 00:05:43
			Don't feel proud of supporting your parents.
		
00:05:44 --> 00:05:45
			Lower your wings.
		
00:05:46 --> 00:05:48
			Lower your wings means to listen to them
		
00:05:48 --> 00:05:50
			too. When they are talking, give them chance
		
00:05:50 --> 00:05:50
			to talk.
		
00:05:51 --> 00:05:54
			Lower your wings, meaning lower your voice. Don't
		
00:05:54 --> 00:05:54
			fly.
		
00:05:56 --> 00:05:58
			Don't don't sound and be so loud.
		
00:05:59 --> 00:06:01
			I get, you know, of God. Yes.
		
00:06:02 --> 00:06:03
			Making dua for them
		
00:06:03 --> 00:06:05
			is another duty.
		
00:06:07 --> 00:06:09
			And the best dua to say is to
		
00:06:09 --> 00:06:10
			say, my lord,
		
00:06:11 --> 00:06:12
			give my parents
		
00:06:13 --> 00:06:13
			mercy
		
00:06:14 --> 00:06:15
			as they cherish me
		
00:06:16 --> 00:06:16
			in childhood.
		
00:06:17 --> 00:06:19
			That is the dua allowed to Barakotele
		
00:06:19 --> 00:06:21
			choose for children.
		
00:06:22 --> 00:06:24
			Rabbi Iraham Humer
		
00:06:24 --> 00:06:26
			Kamara Bayani Savira.
		
00:06:27 --> 00:06:28
			My lord,
		
00:06:28 --> 00:06:29
			give them mercy
		
00:06:30 --> 00:06:32
			as they cherished me in
		
00:06:33 --> 00:06:33
			childhood.
		
00:06:35 --> 00:06:35
			Yes.
		
00:06:37 --> 00:06:39
			Here you can see in this ayah, Allah
		
00:06:39 --> 00:06:40
			Tabarakatani
		
00:06:40 --> 00:06:40
			said,
		
00:06:44 --> 00:06:46
			That is all of you to worship him,
		
00:06:46 --> 00:06:48
			only him. But when you come to the
		
00:06:48 --> 00:06:50
			Walidane, he's single everyone.
		
00:06:54 --> 00:06:57
			In this ayah, you can see that that
		
00:06:57 --> 00:06:58
			the act of worship
		
00:06:58 --> 00:06:59
			may be collective
		
00:07:00 --> 00:07:02
			as well as individual when you come to
		
00:07:02 --> 00:07:02
			worship.
		
00:07:03 --> 00:07:05
			But the kindness to parents
		
00:07:05 --> 00:07:09
			is an individual act of piety. Everyone have
		
00:07:09 --> 00:07:10
			to do that. It's not collective, like all
		
00:07:10 --> 00:07:13
			of us the children be good to our
		
00:07:13 --> 00:07:13
			our parents.
		
00:07:14 --> 00:07:16
			No. Every individual must be good.
		
00:07:17 --> 00:07:19
			Every individual must lower his voice.
		
00:07:20 --> 00:07:22
			Life doesn't oh, if everybody agree what man
		
00:07:22 --> 00:07:25
			said, now I have to agree. No. You
		
00:07:25 --> 00:07:26
			have to agree individually.
		
00:07:27 --> 00:07:29
			It's not like a 10 children.
		
00:07:30 --> 00:07:32
			Man got at all 10 and asked them
		
00:07:32 --> 00:07:35
			a question. 5 agree, 5 object.
		
00:07:36 --> 00:07:37
			Then you are part of the object. That
		
00:07:37 --> 00:07:40
			is wrong because it's an act of the
		
00:07:40 --> 00:07:43
			individual have to agree. Not just, oh, well,
		
00:07:43 --> 00:07:45
			if the older ones said that, let's just
		
00:07:45 --> 00:07:46
			follow what they said.
		
00:07:46 --> 00:07:48
			No. You have to wholeheartedly
		
00:07:49 --> 00:07:51
			agree, you know, to humble yourself by agreeing
		
00:07:51 --> 00:07:52
			with your brother inshallah.
		
00:07:55 --> 00:07:55
			When
		
00:07:56 --> 00:07:56
			the
		
00:07:57 --> 00:07:58
			was
		
00:07:58 --> 00:07:58
			strong
		
00:07:59 --> 00:08:01
			and the child was helpless,
		
00:08:02 --> 00:08:03
			parents
		
00:08:04 --> 00:08:05
			were
		
00:08:05 --> 00:08:07
			helping that helpless person.
		
00:08:09 --> 00:08:10
			Then they give you lot.
		
00:08:11 --> 00:08:14
			They give you time and energy and money.
		
00:08:16 --> 00:08:18
			All their life is like you, to raise
		
00:08:18 --> 00:08:21
			you. You are the biggest project
		
00:08:21 --> 00:08:22
			of your parents.
		
00:08:24 --> 00:08:27
			Biggest project of your parents. They never think
		
00:08:27 --> 00:08:30
			you're gonna stop your education. They're always thinking
		
00:08:30 --> 00:08:31
			about how to get the money and to
		
00:08:31 --> 00:08:34
			pay the tuition. That's their own thinking.
		
00:08:35 --> 00:08:36
			They never think that,
		
00:08:37 --> 00:08:39
			who gonna put the oil to make the
		
00:08:39 --> 00:08:40
			heat in the house.
		
00:08:40 --> 00:08:42
			They always think that you're gonna have the
		
00:08:42 --> 00:08:44
			heat and one coat. Whatever the case, you're
		
00:08:44 --> 00:08:45
			gonna have that.
		
00:08:46 --> 00:08:48
			Sometimes parents, they have their what they call
		
00:08:48 --> 00:08:49
			over years coats.
		
00:08:50 --> 00:08:51
			Sometimes you see some of the mothers, they
		
00:08:51 --> 00:08:54
			have one course for 7 years, one course.
		
00:08:54 --> 00:08:56
			But for you, if you say, oh, ma,
		
00:08:56 --> 00:08:58
			I like another course because just you go
		
00:08:58 --> 00:09:00
			to school, you see enough. Because now the
		
00:09:00 --> 00:09:02
			the the market, they are doing that. The
		
00:09:02 --> 00:09:04
			course is the same one course you have,
		
00:09:04 --> 00:09:07
			but how they design it, sometimes they just
		
00:09:07 --> 00:09:10
			put some some patterns on it. Maybe it's
		
00:09:10 --> 00:09:11
			Michael Jackson or
		
00:09:11 --> 00:09:12
			Jefferson or Tyson.
		
00:09:13 --> 00:09:14
			They put it on. They say, oh, I
		
00:09:14 --> 00:09:16
			like those coat, but it's the same coat.
		
00:09:16 --> 00:09:18
			But they just fashion it. It. They say,
		
00:09:18 --> 00:09:20
			oh, Ma, I like that one. So this
		
00:09:20 --> 00:09:22
			one is not like that. Ma, have to
		
00:09:22 --> 00:09:24
			go to get the check Friday and go
		
00:09:24 --> 00:09:26
			to supermarket and get the coat for you.
		
00:09:27 --> 00:09:27
			Sneakers
		
00:09:27 --> 00:09:30
			is the most expensive shoes I never see.
		
00:09:32 --> 00:09:34
			But these brothers, they want to change sneakers
		
00:09:34 --> 00:09:36
			like just drinking water.
		
00:09:37 --> 00:09:39
			Mark is having maybe 2 shoes of yeah,
		
00:09:39 --> 00:09:41
			you know, pairs of shoes. But you wanna
		
00:09:41 --> 00:09:43
			change sneakers all the time. She think that's
		
00:09:43 --> 00:09:44
			very expensive.
		
00:09:44 --> 00:09:46
			It's $50, $79
		
00:09:46 --> 00:09:47
			a p a.
		
00:09:48 --> 00:09:50
			But that is the shoes they want. And
		
00:09:50 --> 00:09:52
			when they get the shoes, they are not
		
00:09:52 --> 00:09:53
			walking properly with it. They destroy
		
00:09:54 --> 00:09:56
			it. They all when you see the shoes,
		
00:09:56 --> 00:09:58
			somebody go outside and take the shoes.