Alpha-Him Jobe – Family in Islam 4

Alpha-Him Jobe
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of learning from the community's rule of the family, setting boundaries, and prioritizing healing. He also highlights the need for women to learn how to build a family and grow relationships through sacred contracts. He warns against taking the decision to step down and emphasizes the importance of helping everyone. He also emphasizes the need to take responsibility and not allow anyone to take responsibility, and to build a strong community for men and women.
AI: Transcript ©
00:00:02 --> 00:00:03

This this rule of the community, which is

00:00:03 --> 00:00:06

the family. So they have to understand

00:00:06 --> 00:00:08

the deen and they have to learn.

00:00:09 --> 00:00:11

Women in the time of prophet Muhammad salayahu

00:00:11 --> 00:00:12

alayhi wa sallam

00:00:13 --> 00:00:13

had become

00:00:14 --> 00:00:16

so keen to acquire

00:00:17 --> 00:00:19

more knowledge that they

00:00:19 --> 00:00:21

came to the prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam

00:00:21 --> 00:00:23

and they said, oh messenger of Allah, you

00:00:23 --> 00:00:25

are always surrounded by men.

00:00:26 --> 00:00:28

Women went to the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam.

00:00:28 --> 00:00:30

He said you found that you are always

00:00:30 --> 00:00:33

surrounded by men. Men are always around you.

00:00:33 --> 00:00:34

We cannot beat you.

00:00:35 --> 00:00:36

Then they said,

00:00:38 --> 00:00:41

so appointed a day for us. The prophet

00:00:41 --> 00:00:43

sallallahu alaihi wasallam to appoint a day for

00:00:43 --> 00:00:44

them.

00:00:45 --> 00:00:48

Yes. The prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam promised

00:00:48 --> 00:00:49

to do so.

00:00:50 --> 00:00:53

And went to them and taught them al

00:00:53 --> 00:00:53

Islam.

00:00:54 --> 00:00:56

Not only that, but prophet sallallahu alaihi wa

00:00:56 --> 00:00:56

sallam

00:00:58 --> 00:00:58

sent

00:00:59 --> 00:01:00

some representative

00:01:01 --> 00:01:03

to go to women and teach them. Like

00:01:03 --> 00:01:05

Omar Ibn Khattab, Obayhi mukaab.

00:01:05 --> 00:01:07

They were teachers for women. Go into the

00:01:07 --> 00:01:08

houses,

00:01:09 --> 00:01:10

set in circles for a woman and sit

00:01:10 --> 00:01:12

with them and teach them.

00:01:13 --> 00:01:16

Don't don't have the question of can men

00:01:16 --> 00:01:19

teach women, can women teach men? Yes.

00:01:21 --> 00:01:23

But the question of how to discipline yourself.

00:01:24 --> 00:01:27

That's it. Men can teach women, but how

00:01:27 --> 00:01:29

to discipline yourself as a teacher all the

00:01:29 --> 00:01:31

time? That is just a question.

00:01:34 --> 00:01:35

Then women,

00:01:36 --> 00:01:37

they have to know

00:01:38 --> 00:01:40

that they are the root of the family.

00:01:42 --> 00:01:44

If they have that educational

00:01:46 --> 00:01:46

ability

00:01:47 --> 00:01:48

and social,

00:01:49 --> 00:01:50

you know, strongness and

00:01:51 --> 00:01:54

prepare themselves well, you can see that reflecting

00:01:55 --> 00:01:57

in the children and in the entire

00:01:59 --> 00:02:00

family. Calmness,

00:02:01 --> 00:02:03

love and tenderness is in their hands.

00:02:05 --> 00:02:08

Even don't argue about the flower, where you're

00:02:08 --> 00:02:09

going to put it?

00:02:10 --> 00:02:11

That's their job.

00:02:12 --> 00:02:14

How to decorate the house is their job.

00:02:16 --> 00:02:18

How to fix the bed is their job.

00:02:18 --> 00:02:20

Which color we gonna have for the curtains

00:02:21 --> 00:02:22

is their job.

00:02:23 --> 00:02:25

But as a man, if you wanna get

00:02:25 --> 00:02:28

into that, you're gonna means you're gonna make

00:02:28 --> 00:02:28

mess.

00:02:29 --> 00:02:31

You're gonna make a lot of mess in

00:02:31 --> 00:02:31

the house.

00:02:34 --> 00:02:36

Then how to set the house?

00:02:36 --> 00:02:39

Sound like the video is not operating properly

00:02:39 --> 00:02:40

upstairs. Yes.

00:02:40 --> 00:02:43

To set the house is belong to them.

00:02:44 --> 00:02:47

Oh. So, but this is a responsibility.

00:02:49 --> 00:02:51

Not feel proud about it? No. It's responsibility

00:02:52 --> 00:02:54

for them. Whilst the management is in their

00:02:54 --> 00:02:56

hands, they have learned more

00:02:56 --> 00:02:58

and more and more

00:02:59 --> 00:03:00

of how

00:03:00 --> 00:03:02

to build the farming.

00:03:04 --> 00:03:05

Because

00:03:06 --> 00:03:08

if you don't have a manager

00:03:09 --> 00:03:10

who can manage,

00:03:11 --> 00:03:13

you're gonna have what they call

00:03:13 --> 00:03:13

environmental

00:03:14 --> 00:03:14

disturbance.

00:03:16 --> 00:03:17

You come to the house,

00:03:17 --> 00:03:18

you get angry.

00:03:19 --> 00:03:21

Why? Because of environmental

00:03:21 --> 00:03:22

disturbance.

00:03:23 --> 00:03:25

Why? Because of the color.

00:03:25 --> 00:03:27

The color they put in the house

00:03:27 --> 00:03:28

cause you angry.

00:03:31 --> 00:03:33

Put all the house yellow.

00:03:35 --> 00:03:36

Why put the yellow on the whole house?

00:03:37 --> 00:03:39

Or the whole house, man.

00:03:41 --> 00:03:42

That will make them angry.

00:03:43 --> 00:03:46

But you don't know what's happened. Yes, naturally,

00:03:46 --> 00:03:47

what they call

00:03:48 --> 00:03:51

healing. You cannot heal through that environment.

00:03:52 --> 00:03:54

That's why you need light green,

00:03:55 --> 00:03:55

white,

00:03:56 --> 00:03:58

light blue. There are certain things will make

00:03:58 --> 00:04:01

you calm down. Try to understand that color

00:04:01 --> 00:04:03

is part of your feelings.

00:04:05 --> 00:04:07

Color will attack you. Color will

00:04:08 --> 00:04:09

make you happy.

00:04:09 --> 00:04:11

Sometimes you just drive on the corner, you

00:04:11 --> 00:04:13

see a man, you know, paint his house

00:04:13 --> 00:04:14

in a way. You get angry.

00:04:15 --> 00:04:17

You just get angry. You don't know who's

00:04:17 --> 00:04:18

the one on the house. But as soon

00:04:18 --> 00:04:20

as you just get to the corner, he

00:04:20 --> 00:04:22

said, I stopped. Now who's this?

00:04:22 --> 00:04:25

Because of how they build the house and

00:04:25 --> 00:04:26

how they color the house.

00:04:27 --> 00:04:29

Called it like a burgundy or with with

00:04:29 --> 00:04:30

it very crazy.

00:04:32 --> 00:04:35

Put skeletons on it and very very very

00:04:35 --> 00:04:36

very scared things.

00:04:37 --> 00:04:39

No fixing the environment

00:04:40 --> 00:04:42

is in the due is the duty of

00:04:42 --> 00:04:44

women. That's why women have to learn more

00:04:44 --> 00:04:45

than men.

00:04:46 --> 00:04:48

Their entire life must be learning how to

00:04:48 --> 00:04:49

set family,

00:04:50 --> 00:04:52

how to build a family. That is the

00:04:52 --> 00:04:52

building.

00:04:54 --> 00:04:55

A good

00:04:55 --> 00:04:57

and sound community

00:04:58 --> 00:04:59

can only grow

00:05:00 --> 00:05:01

if men

00:05:01 --> 00:05:02

and women

00:05:03 --> 00:05:03

are born

00:05:04 --> 00:05:05

in a solid relationship

00:05:06 --> 00:05:06

through

00:05:07 --> 00:05:07

sacred,

00:05:10 --> 00:05:11

sacred contract

00:05:13 --> 00:05:13

called MAGE,

00:05:16 --> 00:05:17

good

00:05:18 --> 00:05:19

and sound

00:05:20 --> 00:05:20

community.

00:05:21 --> 00:05:25

You are looking for good and sound community.

00:05:26 --> 00:05:28

Community can help itself.

00:05:29 --> 00:05:30

Sound community.

00:05:31 --> 00:05:32

How to build that?

00:05:33 --> 00:05:34

That

00:05:35 --> 00:05:35

grow

00:05:36 --> 00:05:36

if

00:05:37 --> 00:05:38

men and women

00:05:39 --> 00:05:40

have solid

00:05:41 --> 00:05:42

relationship

00:05:44 --> 00:05:44

through sacred

00:05:45 --> 00:05:45

contract

00:05:46 --> 00:05:47

called marriage.

00:05:48 --> 00:05:49

Then marriage

00:05:49 --> 00:05:51

is a social institution

00:05:52 --> 00:05:54

as old as human race itself,

00:05:55 --> 00:05:56

As I said at the beginning,

00:05:57 --> 00:05:59

Allah is the founder of family.

00:06:00 --> 00:06:01

And Adam and Awa

00:06:02 --> 00:06:03

are the first family

00:06:04 --> 00:06:06

structured by Allahu Tabar Kawataka.

00:06:07 --> 00:06:08

So Allah married them

00:06:09 --> 00:06:10

by putting them together.

00:06:11 --> 00:06:13

Allah created Hawa from Adam.

00:06:14 --> 00:06:17

This indicates that there is no superiority or

00:06:17 --> 00:06:17

inferiority

00:06:18 --> 00:06:19

in the family.

00:06:20 --> 00:06:22

Don't think that your wife is this way

00:06:22 --> 00:06:25

and you are there. No. You you step

00:06:25 --> 00:06:26

down.

00:06:27 --> 00:06:28

Don't go back. You step down.

00:06:30 --> 00:06:32

Don't try to go back to your throne

00:06:32 --> 00:06:34

and left her here,

00:06:34 --> 00:06:35

downhill.

00:06:35 --> 00:06:37

Cannot work like that.

00:06:37 --> 00:06:39

If you wanna go back, you have to

00:06:39 --> 00:06:40

take her with you.

00:06:41 --> 00:06:43

You wanna go back, take her with you.

00:06:44 --> 00:06:45

And going back

00:06:46 --> 00:06:49

is not to feel proud to be the

00:06:49 --> 00:06:49

husband,

00:06:50 --> 00:06:51

but try

00:06:51 --> 00:06:53

to help her with kindness,

00:06:54 --> 00:06:56

then you move together to Al Jannah. Your

00:06:56 --> 00:06:58

Jannah is your destination.

00:06:58 --> 00:06:59

It's not this position.

00:07:00 --> 00:07:01

This position is gone.

00:07:02 --> 00:07:03

When you are a bachelor, you are here.

00:07:04 --> 00:07:07

Nobody cares. You are just there waiting for

00:07:07 --> 00:07:08

someone. Bachelor.

00:07:09 --> 00:07:11

But as soon as you come to Maris,

00:07:11 --> 00:07:13

there are a lot of baggage here.

00:07:14 --> 00:07:17

And to hold that baggage and climb up

00:07:17 --> 00:07:20

the hill is your entire life's struggle.

00:07:21 --> 00:07:23

Your entire life's struggle is when you take

00:07:23 --> 00:07:26

the decision to step down to take responsibility.

00:07:26 --> 00:07:28

If you are here, nobody cares.

00:07:28 --> 00:07:29

He's a bachelor.

00:07:30 --> 00:07:31

You have your own car drive. You can't

00:07:31 --> 00:07:34

spend all night outside. Nobody question.

00:07:34 --> 00:07:36

Why? He's a bachelor.

00:07:37 --> 00:07:39

You go around the whole Long Island.

00:07:40 --> 00:07:41

Nobody asking.

00:07:42 --> 00:07:44

Why? He's a bachelor. I'm sorry, he's a

00:07:44 --> 00:07:46

bachelor. Unfortunately, he's a bachelor.

00:07:47 --> 00:07:49

That's why he can't spend the whole night

00:07:49 --> 00:07:49

outside.

00:07:50 --> 00:07:52

We can't miss him for 3 days. No

00:07:52 --> 00:07:53

one know where he

00:07:54 --> 00:07:56

What's happened to this man? Oh no, he's

00:07:56 --> 00:07:57

a bachelor brother, he's a bachelor.

00:07:59 --> 00:08:01

But if you step down

00:08:01 --> 00:08:02

here, brother,

00:08:02 --> 00:08:04

you cannot do that.

00:08:04 --> 00:08:06

You cannot go out

00:08:06 --> 00:08:07

without her.

00:08:08 --> 00:08:10

You cannot go out without everything.

00:08:11 --> 00:08:13

Then you're gonna put on your shoulder

00:08:13 --> 00:08:17

everything to climb uphill. You're gonna see the

00:08:17 --> 00:08:19

heavier the burden of that, then you're gonna

00:08:19 --> 00:08:21

drop down. You say, okay, let's let's let's

00:08:21 --> 00:08:22

do it here.

00:08:23 --> 00:08:25

You're gonna forget about uphill.

00:08:26 --> 00:08:28

Those who are trying to go uphill, those

00:08:28 --> 00:08:30

are the people abusing their families. They don't

00:08:30 --> 00:08:32

want to be family oriented.

00:08:33 --> 00:08:33

No.

00:08:34 --> 00:08:35

They just want to take family for their

00:08:35 --> 00:08:38

physical desires. As soon as they finish that,

00:08:38 --> 00:08:40

they can take what they call hanging out.

00:08:41 --> 00:08:44

Here the diagram say as hanging up.

00:08:45 --> 00:08:47

Don't hang up, hang down.

00:08:49 --> 00:08:51

Why you hang up? Because you hang there

00:08:51 --> 00:08:53

by your own self. To climb up is

00:08:53 --> 00:08:55

very easy because you are the only one

00:08:55 --> 00:08:55

to go.

00:08:56 --> 00:08:57

But if everybody

00:08:58 --> 00:08:58

grab

00:08:59 --> 00:09:00

in your pants and your daddy,

00:09:03 --> 00:09:03

brother,

00:09:04 --> 00:09:06

that's not easy for you to climb up.

00:09:06 --> 00:09:08

You're gonna try out there and I wanna

00:09:08 --> 00:09:09

go up there.

00:09:13 --> 00:09:15

Alright. Everybody grab you. Daddy, me too.

00:09:17 --> 00:09:18

It's not easy for you to go like

00:09:18 --> 00:09:19

that.

00:09:19 --> 00:09:21

So there's no need to struggle to be

00:09:21 --> 00:09:23

here, to feel proud and superiority.

00:09:24 --> 00:09:26

There is no superiority. It's gone.

00:09:28 --> 00:09:29

There's no superiority or inferiority

00:09:30 --> 00:09:32

in marriage. Equality, justice,

00:09:33 --> 00:09:34

love, integrity,

00:09:34 --> 00:09:35

and self respect.

00:09:36 --> 00:09:39

That's it. But it's not going back. Don't

00:09:39 --> 00:09:40

try even to go uphill.

00:09:40 --> 00:09:43

You're gonna remain downhill. That's happened to Adam,

00:09:43 --> 00:09:44

Alaihi Sala.

00:09:45 --> 00:09:47

When Allah created Adam, Adam was where?

00:09:48 --> 00:09:49

His place. In Jannah.

00:09:50 --> 00:09:51

What Allah

00:09:52 --> 00:09:54

assigned Adam? What Allah told Adam?

00:09:55 --> 00:09:56

Descend on us.

00:09:56 --> 00:09:57

With who?

00:09:58 --> 00:09:59

You and your wife.

Share Page