Alpha-Him Jobe – Family in Islam 4
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of learning from the community's rule of the family, setting boundaries, and prioritizing healing. He also highlights the need for women to learn how to build a family and grow relationships through sacred contracts. He warns against taking the decision to step down and emphasizes the importance of helping everyone. He also emphasizes the need to take responsibility and not allow anyone to take responsibility, and to build a strong community for men and women.
AI: Summary ©
This this rule of the community, which is
the family. So they have to understand
the deen and they have to learn.
Women in the time of prophet Muhammad salayahu
alayhi wa sallam
had become
so keen to acquire
more knowledge that they
came to the prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam
and they said, oh messenger of Allah, you
are always surrounded by men.
Women went to the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
He said you found that you are always
surrounded by men. Men are always around you.
We cannot beat you.
Then they said,
so appointed a day for us. The prophet
sallallahu alaihi wasallam to appoint a day for
them.
Yes. The prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam promised
to do so.
And went to them and taught them al
Islam.
Not only that, but prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam
sent
some representative
to go to women and teach them. Like
Omar Ibn Khattab, Obayhi mukaab.
They were teachers for women. Go into the
houses,
set in circles for a woman and sit
with them and teach them.
Don't don't have the question of can men
teach women, can women teach men? Yes.
But the question of how to discipline yourself.
That's it. Men can teach women, but how
to discipline yourself as a teacher all the
time? That is just a question.
Then women,
they have to know
that they are the root of the family.
If they have that educational
ability
and social,
you know, strongness and
prepare themselves well, you can see that reflecting
in the children and in the entire
family. Calmness,
love and tenderness is in their hands.
Even don't argue about the flower, where you're
going to put it?
That's their job.
How to decorate the house is their job.
How to fix the bed is their job.
Which color we gonna have for the curtains
is their job.
But as a man, if you wanna get
into that, you're gonna means you're gonna make
mess.
You're gonna make a lot of mess in
the house.
Then how to set the house?
Sound like the video is not operating properly
upstairs. Yes.
To set the house is belong to them.
Oh. So, but this is a responsibility.
Not feel proud about it? No. It's responsibility
for them. Whilst the management is in their
hands, they have learned more
and more and more
of how
to build the farming.
Because
if you don't have a manager
who can manage,
you're gonna have what they call
environmental
disturbance.
You come to the house,
you get angry.
Why? Because of environmental
disturbance.
Why? Because of the color.
The color they put in the house
cause you angry.
Put all the house yellow.
Why put the yellow on the whole house?
Or the whole house, man.
That will make them angry.
But you don't know what's happened. Yes, naturally,
what they call
healing. You cannot heal through that environment.
That's why you need light green,
white,
light blue. There are certain things will make
you calm down. Try to understand that color
is part of your feelings.
Color will attack you. Color will
make you happy.
Sometimes you just drive on the corner, you
see a man, you know, paint his house
in a way. You get angry.
You just get angry. You don't know who's
the one on the house. But as soon
as you just get to the corner, he
said, I stopped. Now who's this?
Because of how they build the house and
how they color the house.
Called it like a burgundy or with with
it very crazy.
Put skeletons on it and very very very
very scared things.
No fixing the environment
is in the due is the duty of
women. That's why women have to learn more
than men.
Their entire life must be learning how to
set family,
how to build a family. That is the
building.
A good
and sound community
can only grow
if men
and women
are born
in a solid relationship
through
sacred,
sacred contract
called MAGE,
good
and sound
community.
You are looking for good and sound community.
Community can help itself.
Sound community.
How to build that?
That
grow
if
men and women
have solid
relationship
through sacred
contract
called marriage.
Then marriage
is a social institution
as old as human race itself,
As I said at the beginning,
Allah is the founder of family.
And Adam and Awa
are the first family
structured by Allahu Tabar Kawataka.
So Allah married them
by putting them together.
Allah created Hawa from Adam.
This indicates that there is no superiority or
inferiority
in the family.
Don't think that your wife is this way
and you are there. No. You you step
down.
Don't go back. You step down.
Don't try to go back to your throne
and left her here,
downhill.
Cannot work like that.
If you wanna go back, you have to
take her with you.
You wanna go back, take her with you.
And going back
is not to feel proud to be the
husband,
but try
to help her with kindness,
then you move together to Al Jannah. Your
Jannah is your destination.
It's not this position.
This position is gone.
When you are a bachelor, you are here.
Nobody cares. You are just there waiting for
someone. Bachelor.
But as soon as you come to Maris,
there are a lot of baggage here.
And to hold that baggage and climb up
the hill is your entire life's struggle.
Your entire life's struggle is when you take
the decision to step down to take responsibility.
If you are here, nobody cares.
He's a bachelor.
You have your own car drive. You can't
spend all night outside. Nobody question.
Why? He's a bachelor.
You go around the whole Long Island.
Nobody asking.
Why? He's a bachelor. I'm sorry, he's a
bachelor. Unfortunately, he's a bachelor.
That's why he can't spend the whole night
outside.
We can't miss him for 3 days. No
one know where he
What's happened to this man? Oh no, he's
a bachelor brother, he's a bachelor.
But if you step down
here, brother,
you cannot do that.
You cannot go out
without her.
You cannot go out without everything.
Then you're gonna put on your shoulder
everything to climb uphill. You're gonna see the
heavier the burden of that, then you're gonna
drop down. You say, okay, let's let's let's
do it here.
You're gonna forget about uphill.
Those who are trying to go uphill, those
are the people abusing their families. They don't
want to be family oriented.
No.
They just want to take family for their
physical desires. As soon as they finish that,
they can take what they call hanging out.
Here the diagram say as hanging up.
Don't hang up, hang down.
Why you hang up? Because you hang there
by your own self. To climb up is
very easy because you are the only one
to go.
But if everybody
grab
in your pants and your daddy,
brother,
that's not easy for you to climb up.
You're gonna try out there and I wanna
go up there.
Alright. Everybody grab you. Daddy, me too.
It's not easy for you to go like
that.
So there's no need to struggle to be
here, to feel proud and superiority.
There is no superiority. It's gone.
There's no superiority or inferiority
in marriage. Equality, justice,
love, integrity,
and self respect.
That's it. But it's not going back. Don't
try even to go uphill.
You're gonna remain downhill. That's happened to Adam,
Alaihi Sala.
When Allah created Adam, Adam was where?
His place. In Jannah.
What Allah
assigned Adam? What Allah told Adam?
Descend on us.
With who?
You and your wife.