Alpha-Him Jobe – Family in Islam 2
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AI: Transcript ©
Not just to pick one woman and being
with with her and then you come to
be the family leader. No. You have to
be the husband before
you introduce yourself at as the leader of
the house. Must be a husband. Then you
have the husband,
who is at the top of the pyramid.
That husband
at the top
must
have a companion.
Then it's his duty to search for companion.
That's why he descend.
He coming from uphill
to downhill. Because if you don't come to
downhill, you never find the people.
So then for him, coming down is is
another
gesture
or signal of homelessness because you have to
come down
to look for someone you can live life
with.
And if you are coming down, there's a,
like
a signal of little bit humiliation
by not feeling proud to be at the
top.
But you come down.
That's why you are here
at the peak of the pyramid, but you
cannot stay here by your own self.
You have to drop down.
So the diagram have to start like that.
Let's start with the man.
The man
is the husband and later on the father
because you have to be husband before you
come to be the father. Lady demand.
Here the father
who is appointed by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
to be the protector
and the maintainer
of the family.
You didn't protect you didn't even appoint yourself.
You have to have that in mind from
the very beginnings.
You don't appoint yourself to be the husband.
Allah
appointed you to be the husband.
You don't appointed yourself to be the father.
Allah appointed you to be the father.
You don't appointed yourself to be the leader
of the house.
Allah appointed you to be the leader of
the house. Then you don't force yourself. It's
not by your choice, but by following the
teachings of Allah
according to directors of prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam.
Allah Subhanahu Alaihi Wa Salam.
He said men are the protectors
and the maintainers
of women.
Then Allah
appointed you to be the protector
and the maintainer
of the women.
Why?
Because if you are the protector
and the maintainer
of women, you come to be the same
time the protector and the maintainer of the
children. That is automatic.
And Allah Subaraka Watana call
men
protector,
maintainer.
Then Allah give
men some kind of a power
to demonstrate.
Because if you want to be the protector,
if you want to be the security guard
of the family,
if you want to be the maintainer,
you have to reveal your character.
You have to have that personality.
You have to get the characteristics of a
kawam. Allah
called man kawam.
And kawam signifies
a person
who take the responsibility
of safeguarding
the interests of other people.
That is the word kawam.
It's not just being the husband
and then enjoy everything in the in the
in the in the marriage. No.
Kawam is
taking the responsibility
of giving safeguarding for the entire family and
give them security and maintenance. That
is alcohol. We call it alcohol.
Family
has many functions to perform
in the life of the individuals
and in the society.
The family is not just
a factory of procreation.
Sometimes people think that family is having children.
Sometimes people think family is children.
Family. What is family? Family is having children.
But we have to understand
that family
is not just a factory
of procreation,
but has objectives.
Family has objectives
for preservation
and continuation
of human
race.
Family, the position of family is to
maintain
human
existence
in order.
It's not just like animals.
No.
We cannot be
like animals.
Our life must be in order, and we
cannot
put the life of human
on earth
in or without without family.
Yes.
The process
the process
of procreation
needs
established structure
to came into operation.
If we want to process
human creation on Earth or reproduction
of human,
because we are reproducting each other.
From Adam to the last band, it's just
children and fathers.
It's just a circle.
Then reproporation
must have its very very established structure to
came into operation. But if we don't establish
the structure,
we will have chaos in the operation,
or we're gonna jump up somehow
in the operation.
Then to operate the family,
men and women and children
are all in need of permanent
and lasting
institution
in order to fulfill their duties.
To fulfill the duties,
we need institution.
They call it home
or where
you can dwell
or settlement,
realization,
calmness,
security.
We need that to establish
family life.
Yes.
The man
who is at the top,
his duty is to build the house.
Who built the pyramid?
Not woman.
Men
build the pyramid
and if you want to establish the house,
you, the man,
you are the only one
who's supposed to build the pyramid. Pyramid, the
house, means the house.
So you have to build the institution,
which is the house.
You have to provide, but how to build
the house? Here, I'm not talking about physical
building.
It's not this the physical structure.
Although physical structure is part of the building,
but that doesn't mean that physical structure is
the only the the only thing. No. You
have to understand
that you as the builder of the family,
the first thing you have to build is
not
the building, the structure.
What you have to build is relation.
How to build relation? By establishing
what they call
psycho
emotional
stability.
Your psycho
emotional
stability
must be
in order.
If your internal self is not balanced, don't
lie.
Don't even try to look for anyone.
Don't search for wife.
Why? Because
my psycho emotional stability
is not in order.
Why? Because you are coming to be a
leader.
If you want to be a leader of
the country,
they have to take take you to the
psychiatrist. They have to check you, like Bill
Clinton.
Before he come to be a president, don't
think that he just come for the voting
and all this. No. They take him to
psychiatrist. They know that his brain is correct.
That is the first thing before they elect
him from his own party.
They know that he's alright.
That that everything that Alaut Mubarak Motelo will
give you the chance of taking care of
every family
without having psycho emotional stability.
Your internal self as the man must be
concrete, must be firm,
must be in order.
But if you don't have psycho emotional, you
know, stability,
you cannot take care of your family.
The second thing is,
part of the building is love.
If there is no love,
there is no family. Don't start
it. Because love is the root of sincerity.
If you don't love, you cannot bring sincerity.
There is no sincerity without love.
I'm very sincere.
Maybe you love, but if you don't love,
you cannot have sincerity.
That's part of the building.