Alpha-Him Jobe – Family in Islam 12
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of providing family services and establishing proper deduction for children. They emphasize the need for investigation and proper deduction in Islam, and stress the importance of respecting and respecting parents' rights. The conversation also touches on the negative impact of marriage and the importance of having physical desires.
AI: Summary ©
So just my feelings now. We have to
put those on the back burner, as they
say, and take into consideration
what's more important.
And
it's this doesn't seem sensible
to keep saying, okay. I wanna move here
because this is better. This is better for
the family. Mhmm. But yet you have offspring
in different locality,
and they don't hardly see you or get
to know you. And you constantly you know,
this is not correct. Am I correct? Yes.
It's basically yes. It's a form of selfishness.
Mhmm. But then, yes, when you come back
to the family like that, they need family
services. You know, what is missing here is
we don't have family services
where people, you know, can go and get,
you know, proper,
you know, digestion and proper conduct to their
families. Because many people, they are just raising
their family the way they want. This is
why children are suffering, you know, particularly Muslim
children, because,
polygamy
and and divorce is so rampant in the
Muslim society.
So the victim is the child, but still
we have to look,
back to the Muslim community.
It's not the real problem here. It's not
the father, neither the mother, but it's the
Muslim community
for not establishing
family services where people can go to get
better instructions
for how to raise children.
Having, you know,
distance is not a problem.
When the children, they are under puberty,
the first one who supposed to take care
of him is the mother.
The father have to support and have opening
doors for visiting.
But that doesn't mean that, they they he
must be very close to them. But they
have to open the visiting program
in the easiest way for the children and
for them, inshallah. But it's a problem. It's
not just matter of answering a question. It's
something we have to deal with. It's it's
a it's a problem.
Yes. It's a situation.
Yes. But for for today, we want to
change our names, we want to change deen
to know the deen, but we don't want
to change situations.
And I change and I think coming to
Islam is not changing the name, but it's
changing situations.
Inshallah. Okay. The another one?
Yeah. I have a question. Okay.
Still up? That is Okay. The the third
question.
If we can't make it quick because of
the time.
The third question? Yes. Someone come? Right. Islam.
What the question is gonna ask about a
child that's being molested
by a father.
Yes. What is the,
the proper protocol
to deal with the father who molests his
his children as long as they? Again, we
have to have, you know, social services.
Because there are a lot of investigation
before you take any responsibility or any any
any any law or any act against that
father.
There must be investigation. Says
in Quran.
If there's any corruption,
a cause
in the society,
they have to investigate first to get the
root of the problem
before you hurt the feelings of others through
ignorance.
So we have to be careful
because sometimes
the attitude of the father and what the
father is doing is coming out of Islam.
It's not just being a Muslim is enough
for him. He needs help. He's sick.
He's really sick. He is out of his
mind. That's why he's doing certain things in
the house. So sometimes,
before we deal with the the the depth
of power, the the the branches of the
situation by Muslim brothers go there and beat
him up, and there's no need for that.
They have to go back to the root
and try to bring it in a, you
know, right way. But it's a it's a
problem again that I think it's not something
we can't just answer.
Yes.
Yes, you have more.
Yes. 1.
Somebody is trying to ask. Even more questions.
Yes. Okay. No more question, Abundillah. From here?
Please. From here. Yes.
Apart from giving this to the husband and
your wife Yes. Do
you have
any Islamic duties for the children to stand?
Islamic duties, yes. Children, they they they have
to what they call listen and obey. They
have those duties. They have, even even role
to play
when you come to like, education is their
duty. But going to school
is their duty to go to school. Because
if the parent pay the money, you have
to go to school.
And struggle for your education is your duty.
You are talking about duties of the children.
Listening to your parents
and humble. As you remember, I I told
you, you know, humble to them and and
lower your wings and all that is their
duties to do. It's the right. Like rights
and duties, they are just give and take.
The right is the duty of the opposite,
always.
Like,
when the father is is giving and giving
shelter, giving help, the father have to have
the last word to say. We have to
respect the leadership of the father in the
house.
So that is their duty. The duty to
respect, the duty to follow, duty to humiliate
themselves in front of their parents, to humble
them, to give them kindness and sympathy, and
all that is their duty. Yes. So in
essence, if,
they didn't feel in their due their duties
Yes. The children might Might feel their their
duties too. That's why when you give them
their rights, you get their your duties. But
if you don't give rights, don't ask for
your duties.
Which is today is the nature of the
children. They love their rights, but they don't
want to talk about their duties. Children, as
soon as you tell them what they're supposed
to do, they say, I don't know.
But they know how to even dial, you
know, 911 to put their parents in jail.
Children, they learn that today.
They learn what is child abuse and all
this kind of thing. But they don't learn
even what they call mother's abuse or father's
abuse because the system don't want to teach
them that. So it's very okay. From here.
I have once told a brother that,
that marriage wasn't bad. Based on my past
Islamic training. Mhmm. And I wanted to know
what makes marriage bad.
Because if you are married,
if you
you meet you have what they call physical
desires.
And physical desires, if you don't put it
in a halal way, maybe that will destroy
you to put it in a Haram way.
Then avoiding Haram way and put it in
the halal way, that is bad.
Allah commanded you to do halal
and commanded you to avoid doing haram.
When you protect yourself from haram, moving towards
halal is Ibad. That's why marriage is Ibad.
Professor
said
that getting even having
the physical contact with your wife is charity,
It's Ibadah.
Yes. Okay.
Now you mentioned earlier that beating the children
is a failure to communicate.
Yes. But I remember reading a hadith in
a party
that the Rasool Allah, salallahu alaihi wa sallam,
said that it is permissible to turn the
child over your knee. Yes. So what I'm
saying what I wanted to know is, what's
the balance point? The balance point is what
happened? It's Two particles. Oh, 2 particles? Okay.
Because you're also,
dealing when you're dealing with children Mhmm. In
which, let's say you have a single parent