Ali Hammuda – Our Ways in Social Gatherings – Episode 11 – Our Ways

Ali Hammuda
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AI: Summary ©

The importance of gathering and being around people in Islam is emphasized, along with the need for safe practices and avoiding clinging to privacy. The transcript discusses various hadiths and the importance of identifying talent and building a library of potential opportunities. The speakers stress the need for privacy and confidentiality in public gatherings and suggest ways to make decisions and make decisions in a series of ten ways. Different speakers emphasize the importance of avoiding embarrassment and mockery, highlighting the need for privacy and confidentiality in gatherings, and providing permission for others to speak in a certain way.

AI: Summary ©

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			The human being by his or her nature
		
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			is a social creature.
		
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			We thrive off the energy of one another
		
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			as human beings.
		
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			Most of us, if not an introvert, prefer
		
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			to be around people as opposed to himself,
		
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			herself.
		
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			We love the idea of being around siblings,
		
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			cousins, friends, families, colleagues, people who will tell
		
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			you about the latest football score, those who
		
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			will complain about the weather, and others who
		
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			will celebrate Bitcoin peaking at the moment.
		
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			Most of us, this is our nature, we
		
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			enjoy being around one another.
		
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			And perhaps the huge uptake of social media
		
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			in the early 2000s, the explosive adoption of
		
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			all of the channels out there till this
		
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			day, it's quite indicative of this reality.
		
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			That the human being, as the scholars of
		
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			sociology they say, that man by his nature
		
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			is a social creature.
		
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			Paradise would not have been complete for our
		
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			father Adam, despite all what was in it.
		
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			In the absence of his wife Hawa, she
		
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			was his second, she was his comfort, his
		
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			tranquility.
		
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			And that is indicative of how we are
		
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			with our spouses, with our parents, with our
		
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			children, and with us here.
		
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			That's why as a quick disclaimer or a
		
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			side note, we mentioned that what the masjid
		
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			offers in terms of barakah, in terms of
		
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			fortifying your iman, in terms of solidifying your
		
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			allegiance to your brothers and sisters in Islam,
		
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			the companionship of the angels, the erasing of
		
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			sins, the prayer in congregation, the hearing of
		
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			Qur'an, all of this cannot be found
		
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			online.
		
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			Even if you were to attend the same
		
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			lecture, and to listen to it and take
		
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			notes better online than you would in the
		
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			masjid.
		
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			What the masjid has to offer cannot be
		
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			compared to anything else.
		
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			We are immensely social by our nature, and
		
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			that is by design, that is intertwined into
		
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			our DNA.
		
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			So it makes perfect sense, building on from
		
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			this introduction, that Islam would have something to
		
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			say about how we manage and how we
		
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			govern these social interactions.
		
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			It has to say something about it.
		
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			Seeing that our life is but a constellation,
		
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			a collection, a bundle of gatherings.
		
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			That is what your life is.
		
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			Your life is a bundle of gatherings.
		
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			Gatherings online, offline.
		
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			Before you came to the masjid, you were
		
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			in a gathering.
		
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			Now in the masjid, you are in a
		
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			gathering.
		
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			When you go home in the car, you're
		
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			going to be in a gathering.
		
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			If you take a business call, that's a
		
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			gathering.
		
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			And a talk that you're going to engage
		
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			in with your spouse if you are married,
		
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			that's a gathering.
		
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			And tomorrow, repeat, eight o'clock, rise, work,
		
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			that's a gathering.
		
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			Entire life is but a constellation and a
		
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			bundle of gatherings.
		
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			So have I convinced you of the importance
		
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			of the session this evening, our ways as
		
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			Muslims, with respect to gatherings?
		
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			Seeing that these gatherings are places where the
		
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			name of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is
		
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			remembered or abandoned.
		
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			Gatherings are places where secrets are upheld or
		
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			disclosed.
		
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			Gatherings are places where people are honored or
		
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			embarrassed and disgraced.
		
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			Gatherings are places where hasanat are scooped up
		
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			good deeds or we hemorrhage with sin.
		
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			Gatherings are places where talents are discovered and
		
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			directed for the akhirah and empires in dunya
		
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			and the hereafter.
		
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			For Allah almighty are established or talents or
		
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			go to waste.
		
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			And seeing that gatherings can take you to
		
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			paradise or lead you to *.
		
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			And on top of all of this, seeing
		
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			that your life is, as I mentioned earlier,
		
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			is but a collection of small gatherings.
		
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			You see why it is of the essence
		
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			that we dedicate some time in our life
		
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			to understand what our sharia's expectation is of
		
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			us when we engage in those gatherings so
		
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			that on the day of judgement we don't
		
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			look at any one of our gatherings and
		
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			weep as we see it as a missed
		
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			opportunity and a cause of regret.
		
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			So let us begin.
		
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			What does our religion have to say with
		
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			respect to the mannerisms, the adab?
		
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			What are our ways in any gathering?
		
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			This is social, this is business, this is
		
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			political in the chambers of the parliament, that
		
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			is in your takeaway, that is on site,
		
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			that is online, that is at home, that
		
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			is on the bus stop, on the phone
		
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			and elsewhere.
		
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			I'm going to mention to you 10 points
		
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			and this is really a sample of what
		
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			the religion has to say about the mannerisms
		
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			of gatherings otherwise there is a lot more
		
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			to say.
		
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			Take note of them.
		
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			If we're able to master just these 10
		
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			then I hope we are on a high
		
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			road to Jannah, a place that Allah Almighty
		
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			will be pleased with us because of what
		
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			we did during these gatherings.
		
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			So let us begin.
		
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			The first of our ways with respect to
		
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			any one of our gatherings is to enter
		
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			that gathering with a greeting of Salaam and
		
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			to depart with a greeting of Salaam.
		
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			There's a million and one ways that you
		
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			can introduce yourself and greet those around you
		
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			depending on your culture or language.
		
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			In English we say hey, hi, hello, we
		
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			say afternoon, morning, evening.
		
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			Oh my god I can't believe you guys
		
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			are here, it's so good to see you.
		
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			Great.
		
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			None of these introductions however, they come near
		
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			in majesty and honour and thawab, reward than
		
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			the greeting of Islam, Salaamu Alaikum or Asalaamu
		
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			Alaikum wa Rahmatullah or ideally Asalaamu Alaikum wa
		
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			Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu.
		
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			That's when you enter the gathering, that's when
		
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			you leave the gathering.
		
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			And that's why the Prophet ﷺ he said
		
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			in the hadith which Abu Dawud narrates on
		
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			the authority of Abu Huraira, he said when
		
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			one of you arrives at a gathering, let
		
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			him offer Salaam, Salaamu Alaikum, and when you
		
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			desire to leave the gathering, say Salaamu Alaikum.
		
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			Because the first Salaam is not more of
		
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			a duty than the last one.
		
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			The first duty upon coming or the first
		
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			Salaam upon entering the gathering is not more
		
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			of a duty than the second one when
		
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			you leave.
		
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			Why prioritise one and ignore the other?
		
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			Salaamu Alaikum upon entry and Salaamu Alaikum upon
		
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			departure.
		
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			But caveat here, spoiler alert, it's not as
		
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			easy as that.
		
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			When you say Asalaamu Alaikum to another Muslim,
		
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			what you have done in reality is offered
		
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			them a guarantee of safety.
		
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			You have in the eyes of Allah Jalla
		
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			Jalaluhu signed a contract and Allah said, Aufu
		
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			bil Uqood, fulfill your contracts.
		
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			When you say Asalaamu Alaikum to someone, that's
		
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			not just a cute way of being a
		
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			Muslimic in the 21st century, no.
		
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			When you say Asalaamu Alaikum, you are saying,
		
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			I gave you a pact, an agreement, a
		
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			security agreement from me, a promise between me
		
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			and Allah that I will not send any
		
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			harm your way.
		
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			You will only hear khair and goodness from
		
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			me in front of you and behind your
		
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			back.
		
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			I'm not going to break your heart, I'm
		
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			not going to insult you, I'm not going
		
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			to embarrass you, I'm not going to raise
		
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			my voice at you if this is of
		
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			course without necessity.
		
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			I'm not going to overcharge you, I'm not
		
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			going to engage in fraud, not going to
		
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			cheat.
		
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			That's what you are saying, Asalaamu Alaikum, you're
		
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			guaranteed peace from me.
		
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			So it's a huge paradox, it's a huge
		
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			contradiction in the life of a believer to
		
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			enter upon a gathering or to say someone
		
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			Asalaamu Alaikum and then you overcharge that person
		
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			or you insult that person or you backstab
		
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			him the moment he disappears for a moment,
		
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			goes to the bathroom or you engage in
		
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			reckless driving or it's likes.
		
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			How?
		
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			This is a contradiction, you've guaranteed him your
		
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			safety, you've given a promise and in the
		
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			eyes of a chivalrous man and a righteous
		
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			noble woman, they would prefer to die many
		
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			times over than to break a single one
		
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			of the promises that they have made between
		
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			Allah Almighty concerning another Muslim.
		
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			So this is the first of our ways
		
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			when it comes to gatherings, to enter the
		
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			gathering upon Asalaam and to depart with Asalaam.
		
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			The second one of our ways with respect
		
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			to gatherings is to use your moments in
		
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			that gathering to remember the name of Allah
		
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			Almighty at least once.
		
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			It is completely okay for you as an
		
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			employee to speak to your friends and family
		
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			or those you mix with about life at
		
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			work.
		
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			It's completely understandable my sister, my brother that
		
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			you will speak about your marriage to your
		
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			friends within the parameters that we are all
		
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			hopefully aware of.
		
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			It's completely understandable that as businessmen, businesswomen you
		
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			want to speak about the experiences out there.
		
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			But what is not acceptable, what is borderline
		
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			reprehensible even is for you to partake in
		
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			a gathering from beginning to end, spanning perhaps
		
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			an hour or more and the name of
		
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			Allah Almighty fails to feature in a single
		
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			one of your sentences.
		
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			How can this be and what does this
		
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			say about our connection to Allah Almighty?
		
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			Is it not that when we love something,
		
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			it overspills in our talk?
		
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			When we are in love with someone, is
		
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			it not that it appears in our narrative
		
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			and discourse?
		
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			And that's why the Arabs they say, The
		
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			one who is in love is always exposed.
		
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			You see it in his glance, the arching
		
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			of his back, if he's not getting what
		
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			he wants, and the way he speaks, how
		
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			he continues to sigh and look around.
		
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			There's clearly something wrong.
		
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			They say, the one in love is exposed.
		
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			Why?
		
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			You cannot hide it.
		
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			Similarly, one who is truly in love with
		
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			Allah Almighty, one has that intimate connection with
		
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			him, it has to appear in your time.
		
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			It has to appear in your speech.
		
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			It cannot be that you allow 30 minutes,
		
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			an hour, two, with friends and others without
		
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			saying, Allahumma salli wa sallim ala nabiyyina Muhammad,
		
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			or la ilaha illallah, or astaghfirullah wa atubu
		
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			ilayh, or time for salah, brothers, time for
		
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			salah, sisters, or something to that effect.
		
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			It cannot be.
		
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			And that is why our Messenger ﷺ, he
		
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			said, مَا مِن قَوْمٍ جَلَسُوا فِي مَجْلِسٍ لَمْ
		
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			يَذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ تَعَالَ فِيهِ إِلَّا رَأُوهُ حَسْرَةً يَوْمَ
		
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			الْقِيَامَةِ Any people who sit in a gathering
		
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			whereby the name of Allah Almighty is not
		
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			mentioned, not even once, they will see that
		
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			gathering as a cause of regret on the
		
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			Day of Judgment.
		
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			And in another authentic narration, he ﷺ added
		
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			and said, وَإِن دَخَلُوا الْجَنَّةِ Even if they
		
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			enter Jannah, imagine, Jannah with all of its
		
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			pleasures and all of the burdens that you
		
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			drop outside, one thing from dunya that will
		
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			follow you inside, a hurt, a regret of
		
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			a gathering that you had partook in, in
		
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			dunya, where the name of Allah Almighty wasn't
		
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			even mentioned once.
		
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			He said, even if they enter Jannah.
		
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			So you're not expected to be speaking every
		
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			second of that gathering.
		
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			You're not required to do that.
		
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			There will be moments where you will pause,
		
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			you will take a breath, reach out for
		
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			some tea, say لا إله إلا الله, say
		
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			سبحان الله, say الحمد لله, move your mouth
		
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			with the remembrance of Allah جل جلاله, don't
		
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			make it a gathering of regret.
		
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			And that's why the sahabi, the companions, they
		
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			would observe the behavior of the Prophet ﷺ
		
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			in gatherings and they would see whenever he
		
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			was not talking and his kalam, his talk
		
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			wasn't much, he was there in some moment
		
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			of silence and contemplation connecting with his Lord
		
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			saying رَبِّ غْفِرْ لِي وَتُوبْ عَلَيْهِ My Lord
		
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			forgive me and I turn to you in
		
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			repentance إنك أنت التواب الغفور You are the
		
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			ever-relenting, the ever-pardoning لا إله إلا
		
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			الله عبدالله بن عمر He said كنا نعد
		
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			لرسول الله ﷺ في المجلس الواحد أن يقول
		
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			مئة مرة رَبِّ غْفِرْ لِي وَتُوبْ عَلَيْهِ إنك
		
00:13:35 --> 00:13:37
			أنت التواب الغفور We used to count in
		
00:13:37 --> 00:13:40
			any one gathering of the Prophet ﷺ him
		
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			saying a hundred times Allah forgive me and
		
00:13:44 --> 00:13:46
			I turn to you in repentance, you are
		
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			the ever-relenting and you are the ever
		
00:13:48 --> 00:13:51
			-forgiving connected with his Lord even when he
		
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			is with his sahabi, that is way number
		
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			one way number two, way number three and
		
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			it connects to number two make sure that
		
00:14:00 --> 00:14:02
			you give those around you the attention they
		
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			deserve in any gathering that you participate in
		
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			just because as we mentioned in the point
		
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			before it that you want to be engaging
		
00:14:08 --> 00:14:10
			in some sort of dhikr remembrance of Allah
		
00:14:10 --> 00:14:12
			Almighty when sat with people it doesn't mean
		
00:14:12 --> 00:14:16
			that you disconnect with others completely no when
		
00:14:16 --> 00:14:19
			you're sat with people especially the VIPs in
		
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			your life mom and dad that crown that
		
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			list and all those who appreciate their time
		
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			with you make sure you give them your
		
00:14:28 --> 00:14:33
			undivided attention so put down the phone not
		
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			now when you're sat with your family snapshot
		
00:14:36 --> 00:14:40
			the laptop put down the fidget spinner if
		
00:14:40 --> 00:14:43
			that's still a thing and give your parents
		
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			to your loved ones your full attention don't
		
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			be distracted no one would like to admit
		
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			it or say why are you not focusing
		
00:14:52 --> 00:14:54
			on me because it comes across as a
		
00:14:54 --> 00:14:55
			little bit needy a little bit clingy we
		
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			don't want to come across as clingy but
		
00:14:58 --> 00:15:00
			you know what there is a subconscious reaction
		
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			to someone you see carrying the phone when
		
00:15:02 --> 00:15:04
			you're trying to talk with them sit in
		
00:15:04 --> 00:15:06
			a gathering and someone has the phone in
		
00:15:06 --> 00:15:08
			his hand what is the message that's being
		
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			sent you're important not as important as this
		
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			though because if this goes off i've got
		
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			to take the call you are number two
		
00:15:15 --> 00:15:19
			in this conversation that's happening in the subconscious
		
00:15:19 --> 00:15:21
			of our mind the worst thing and perhaps
		
00:15:21 --> 00:15:23
			you've seen it before you get into a
		
00:15:23 --> 00:15:26
			gathering and first thing that we all do
		
00:15:26 --> 00:15:27
			what do we do take out the phone
		
00:15:27 --> 00:15:29
			and put it on me on the table
		
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			we all put it on the table right
		
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			like we're going to play some sort of
		
00:15:33 --> 00:15:38
			russian roulettes there there it is just because
		
00:15:38 --> 00:15:40
			you've put it on its face now it
		
00:15:40 --> 00:15:44
			doesn't make it any better right and the
		
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			worst one is when the phone begins to
		
00:15:46 --> 00:15:49
			ring what do we do we take it
		
00:15:49 --> 00:15:53
			and then we we heroically announce huh i'm
		
00:15:53 --> 00:15:55
			not going to take this one i'm not
		
00:15:55 --> 00:15:56
			going to take this one as if to
		
00:15:56 --> 00:16:00
			say today you are so lucky to have
		
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			my attention because i didn't take the call
		
00:16:01 --> 00:16:04
			for you put it you don't need the
		
00:16:04 --> 00:16:07
			phone to be there yeah get down from
		
00:16:07 --> 00:16:11
			the cloud you know download yourself into reality
		
00:16:11 --> 00:16:15
			and and focus wholeheartedly mind soul spirit essence
		
00:16:15 --> 00:16:18
			with those around you we feel it and
		
00:16:18 --> 00:16:19
			that's why when someone takes out their phone
		
00:16:19 --> 00:16:23
			and we're walking with them you feel stupid
		
00:16:23 --> 00:16:25
			have you felt that before you're walking with
		
00:16:25 --> 00:16:27
			someone and you're in a meeting or someone's
		
00:16:27 --> 00:16:28
			at home eating with you and they take
		
00:16:28 --> 00:16:30
			out their phone they're just just a second
		
00:16:30 --> 00:16:31
			i just need to really get to this
		
00:16:31 --> 00:16:32
			message and you're there twiddling your thumb like
		
00:16:32 --> 00:16:34
			okay where do i fit into this equation
		
00:16:34 --> 00:16:37
			so you feel the need to then take
		
00:16:37 --> 00:16:38
			out your phone just to get out of
		
00:16:38 --> 00:16:42
			that awkward feeling of being irrelevant don't do
		
00:16:42 --> 00:16:47
			that our prophet never mind mobile phones and
		
00:16:47 --> 00:16:50
			all of the complications and the access that
		
00:16:50 --> 00:16:51
			they give you something as small as a
		
00:16:51 --> 00:16:58
			ring our messenger wouldn't allow its glitter to
		
00:16:58 --> 00:17:01
			distract him from his sahaba who wanted his
		
00:17:01 --> 00:17:07
			attention phenomenal adab manners that's why abdullah ibn
		
00:17:07 --> 00:17:12
			abbas he said that the prophet muhammad once
		
00:17:12 --> 00:17:15
			took for himself a ring this was his
		
00:17:15 --> 00:17:18
			sunnah but this must have been an expensive
		
00:17:18 --> 00:17:22
			ring or a beautiful ring and he noticed
		
00:17:22 --> 00:17:25
			that the ring was distracting him from his
		
00:17:25 --> 00:17:39
			sahaba his companions and so he said he
		
00:17:39 --> 00:17:41
			said this ring of mine has distracted me
		
00:17:41 --> 00:17:44
			this day from you i'm giving a glance
		
00:17:44 --> 00:17:45
			and i'm giving you a glance and i'm
		
00:17:45 --> 00:17:47
			giving a glance and i'm giving you guys
		
00:17:47 --> 00:17:49
			a glance ibn abbas said so he took
		
00:17:49 --> 00:17:53
			it off and he gave it away what
		
00:17:53 --> 00:17:56
			about the phone and all of the exposure
		
00:17:56 --> 00:17:58
			and access that gives you put it all
		
00:17:58 --> 00:18:01
			away when you're with those who appreciate your
		
00:18:01 --> 00:18:04
			attention and give them your undivided attention that's
		
00:18:04 --> 00:18:09
			number one it's number three the fourth of
		
00:18:09 --> 00:18:18
			our ways is a bold confident courageous correction
		
00:18:18 --> 00:18:22
			of sinful behavior that may take place in
		
00:18:22 --> 00:18:24
			front of you in a gathering of some
		
00:18:24 --> 00:18:29
			sort what may have begun as an innocent
		
00:18:29 --> 00:18:35
			conversation banter talk about business family trade or
		
00:18:35 --> 00:18:39
			its likes the ummah dawah charity whatever it
		
00:18:39 --> 00:18:41
			may be can with the passage of time
		
00:18:41 --> 00:18:43
			if not careful begin to veer down a
		
00:18:43 --> 00:18:47
			very dark path and quickly devolve into a
		
00:18:47 --> 00:18:50
			gathering of haram where now all of a
		
00:18:50 --> 00:18:53
			sudden gazes are not lowered perhaps there is
		
00:18:53 --> 00:18:56
			some sort of intermingling between the sexes that
		
00:18:56 --> 00:19:00
			is not permissible in the religion perhaps now
		
00:19:00 --> 00:19:02
			we begin to speak in a bit more
		
00:19:02 --> 00:19:04
			of a relaxed fashion about the honors of
		
00:19:04 --> 00:19:07
			the honor of another muslim perhaps voices are
		
00:19:07 --> 00:19:10
			now raised perhaps egos have clearly infiltrated the
		
00:19:10 --> 00:19:13
			room perhaps now we're fighting we're speaking over
		
00:19:13 --> 00:19:15
			one another we're just trying to prove a
		
00:19:15 --> 00:19:18
			point perhaps some of us are now using
		
00:19:18 --> 00:19:20
			some vulgar bad language in our conversation to
		
00:19:20 --> 00:19:25
			whatever it may be i remember if you
		
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			are participating in a gathering like this there
		
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			is a duty upon you and i to
		
00:19:30 --> 00:19:34
			offer some gentle and wise and timely advice
		
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			our brothers sisters i mean we need to
		
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			step out of this territory let's say we
		
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			don't need to talk about other people let's
		
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			leave it for a moment okay right if
		
00:19:45 --> 00:19:49
			your advice is taken good your advice is
		
00:19:49 --> 00:19:50
			not taken then you have to move to
		
00:19:50 --> 00:19:52
			phase two which is what which is what
		
00:19:52 --> 00:19:57
			my brothers leave the gathering if you can
		
00:19:57 --> 00:20:01
			that is leave the gathering otherwise if you
		
00:20:01 --> 00:20:03
			don't do that then in the eyes of
		
00:20:03 --> 00:20:05
			allah almighty you are just as guilty of
		
00:20:05 --> 00:20:10
			the crime that they're engaging so think about
		
00:20:10 --> 00:20:11
			you sat in a gathering where alcohol for
		
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			example is being consumed now think about it
		
00:20:16 --> 00:20:18
			where the opposite gender is being described in
		
00:20:18 --> 00:20:20
			an awful way a vulgar way an explicit
		
00:20:20 --> 00:20:22
			way i'm not i'm not doing i'm not
		
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			drinking i'm not talking well someone's there with
		
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			his weed or hash their hashish or their
		
00:20:28 --> 00:20:31
			shisha right it's a lounge that is filled
		
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			with smoke i'm not doing it i'm just
		
00:20:34 --> 00:20:37
			drinking orange juice i know if you don't
		
00:20:37 --> 00:20:39
			follow this process we speak about in the
		
00:20:39 --> 00:20:42
			eyes of allah this doesn't matter you're doing
		
00:20:42 --> 00:20:44
			the same and that is why allah almighty
		
00:20:44 --> 00:20:46
			said in the quran two i asked one
		
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			more frightening than the other allah almighty said
		
00:20:54 --> 00:20:58
			when you come across those who are speaking
		
00:20:58 --> 00:21:06
			inappropriately about our signs so turn away from
		
00:21:06 --> 00:21:10
			them turn away from them allah said leave
		
00:21:10 --> 00:21:15
			the gathering until they change the topic until
		
00:21:15 --> 00:21:18
			they speak about something else in another more
		
00:21:18 --> 00:21:22
			severe ayah allah almighty said allah has already
		
00:21:22 --> 00:21:32
			revealed to you in the book hadith that
		
00:21:32 --> 00:21:36
			if you are sat in a gathering and
		
00:21:36 --> 00:21:38
			you hear the ayat the signs of allah
		
00:21:38 --> 00:21:42
			almighty being disbelieved in or mocked allah said
		
00:21:42 --> 00:21:44
			then don't sit with them till they speak
		
00:21:44 --> 00:21:48
			about something else he said otherwise you will
		
00:21:48 --> 00:21:53
			be just like them you will be just
		
00:21:53 --> 00:21:56
			like them and that's why imam said commenting
		
00:21:56 --> 00:22:06
			on this ayah he said therefore anybody who
		
00:22:06 --> 00:22:09
			sits in a gathering a gathering of sin
		
00:22:09 --> 00:22:12
			without speaking against the sin then in the
		
00:22:12 --> 00:22:14
			eyes of allah he is just like them
		
00:22:16 --> 00:22:20
			he's just like them right so we have
		
00:22:20 --> 00:22:23
			a duty if you see something that is
		
00:22:23 --> 00:22:25
			happening you have to say about it you
		
00:22:25 --> 00:22:27
			have to say something about and don't allow
		
00:22:27 --> 00:22:30
			your fear to get the better of you
		
00:22:30 --> 00:22:32
			though we all fall victim to this no
		
00:22:32 --> 00:22:35
			doubt from time to time when we struggle
		
00:22:35 --> 00:22:37
			but at least be aware of the theory
		
00:22:37 --> 00:22:41
			we are theoretically speaking not allowed to allow
		
00:22:41 --> 00:22:43
			fear to stop us from saying what is
		
00:22:43 --> 00:22:45
			right and what is true irrespective of who
		
00:22:45 --> 00:22:47
			is there in a gathering but you choose
		
00:22:47 --> 00:22:51
			your words appropriately according to the context and
		
00:22:51 --> 00:22:54
			that's why in a phenomenal hadith which ahmad
		
00:22:54 --> 00:23:09
			narrates on the authority of he said allah
		
00:23:09 --> 00:23:11
			almighty will interrogate people on the day of
		
00:23:11 --> 00:23:15
			judgment and he will ask one person why
		
00:23:15 --> 00:23:17
			is it that you didn't speak out against
		
00:23:17 --> 00:23:19
			evil when you saw it happening in front
		
00:23:19 --> 00:23:23
			of you that's a question you and i
		
00:23:23 --> 00:23:26
			are to expect and i for myself don't
		
00:23:26 --> 00:23:28
			know what i will answer if i before
		
00:23:28 --> 00:23:30
			allah almighty and he tells me and he
		
00:23:30 --> 00:23:32
			asked me this question about palestine and gaza
		
00:23:32 --> 00:23:35
			or zionism or whatever it may be or
		
00:23:35 --> 00:23:37
			the other isms that are affecting us in
		
00:23:37 --> 00:23:39
			the west and the list is endless it's
		
00:23:39 --> 00:23:43
			a scary concept so allah will ask a
		
00:23:43 --> 00:23:44
			person why is it that you did not
		
00:23:44 --> 00:23:46
			speak about an evil or against an evil
		
00:23:46 --> 00:23:48
			when you saw it happening in front of
		
00:23:48 --> 00:24:01
			you the hadith continues if
		
00:24:01 --> 00:24:05
			allah enables a person to give an appropriate
		
00:24:05 --> 00:24:07
			response back to allah because this person is
		
00:24:07 --> 00:24:11
			guilty this person is guilty there's no getting
		
00:24:11 --> 00:24:14
			out of it so he said if allah
		
00:24:14 --> 00:24:16
			enables this person to give the the best
		
00:24:16 --> 00:24:19
			possible response in that situation he will say
		
00:24:19 --> 00:24:24
			my lord i had hopes in you and
		
00:24:24 --> 00:24:26
			to be honest i was afraid of the
		
00:24:26 --> 00:24:30
			people my lord i had hopes in you
		
00:24:30 --> 00:24:33
			and i was really afraid of the people
		
00:24:34 --> 00:24:38
			and abu sa'id narrated another hadith where
		
00:24:38 --> 00:24:47
			the messenger said he said no person
		
00:24:47 --> 00:24:51
			should allow fear to prevent him from speaking
		
00:24:51 --> 00:24:54
			the truth if he comes to learn of
		
00:24:54 --> 00:24:56
			it abu sa'id al-khudri when he
		
00:24:56 --> 00:24:58
			would quote this hadith he would cry and
		
00:24:58 --> 00:25:00
			he would say by allah we have seen
		
00:25:00 --> 00:25:02
			things that are wrong and evil and we
		
00:25:02 --> 00:25:04
			were afraid of people and we didn't speak
		
00:25:04 --> 00:25:09
			against it and he would say i wish
		
00:25:09 --> 00:25:12
			i had never learned of this hadith it's
		
00:25:12 --> 00:25:16
			a huge responsibility so this is number one
		
00:25:16 --> 00:25:19
			my brothers this is number four if you
		
00:25:19 --> 00:25:21
			are sat in a gathering you want to
		
00:25:21 --> 00:25:23
			have a duty if we see a sin
		
00:25:23 --> 00:25:24
			of some sort happening in front of us
		
00:25:25 --> 00:25:27
			to say something in a wise in a
		
00:25:27 --> 00:25:30
			gentle in a contextual manner but just to
		
00:25:30 --> 00:25:32
			sit there and nod and think that you're
		
00:25:32 --> 00:25:34
			exempt because you're not doing it you're not
		
00:25:34 --> 00:25:37
			saying it you're not smoking it it's all
		
00:25:37 --> 00:25:39
			the same in the eyes of allah almighty
		
00:25:39 --> 00:25:44
			if you're still there that's number four to
		
00:25:44 --> 00:25:46
			speak out against a sin that may happen
		
00:25:46 --> 00:25:49
			in front of you number five the fifth
		
00:25:49 --> 00:25:54
			of our ways is not everything that is
		
00:25:54 --> 00:25:57
			discussed in the gathering needs to be disclosed
		
00:25:57 --> 00:26:01
			to others there needs to be some assumption
		
00:26:01 --> 00:26:04
			of confidentiality and privacy when you're speaking to
		
00:26:04 --> 00:26:08
			someone some of us really have this very
		
00:26:08 --> 00:26:12
			peculiar and quite an annoying habit of reporting
		
00:26:12 --> 00:26:16
			back to our wives or she reports back
		
00:26:16 --> 00:26:18
			to her husband at the end of each
		
00:26:18 --> 00:26:20
			evening about everything that she or he had
		
00:26:20 --> 00:26:24
			heard from others during that day and she
		
00:26:24 --> 00:26:27
			said and he said everything and sometimes the
		
00:26:27 --> 00:26:28
			coat is even hung so he's coming into
		
00:26:28 --> 00:26:31
			the house he's still hanging his coat and
		
00:26:31 --> 00:26:33
			the report is being given the downloading of
		
00:26:33 --> 00:26:38
			the information what if the other party didn't
		
00:26:38 --> 00:26:42
			want this information divulged to others right it
		
00:26:42 --> 00:26:45
			needs to be an assumption here i don't
		
00:26:45 --> 00:26:48
			need to always stick the label of please
		
00:26:48 --> 00:26:50
			don't tell others that i told you this
		
00:26:50 --> 00:26:52
			onto every conversation that i share with you
		
00:26:52 --> 00:26:56
			this needs to be assumed that's why the
		
00:26:56 --> 00:27:01
			prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam he said gatherings are
		
00:27:01 --> 00:27:05
			to be considered as trusts gatherings are to
		
00:27:05 --> 00:27:08
			be considered as amanah as trusts and he
		
00:27:08 --> 00:27:11
			said if a person speaks to you whilst
		
00:27:11 --> 00:27:13
			looking left and right then consider it an
		
00:27:13 --> 00:27:16
			amanah a trust i don't have to tell
		
00:27:16 --> 00:27:18
			you please don't tell anyone please keep this
		
00:27:18 --> 00:27:20
			to yourself even your wife ya habibi please
		
00:27:20 --> 00:27:21
			don't tell her we don't need to go
		
00:27:21 --> 00:27:23
			through all of these caveats it's an amanah
		
00:27:23 --> 00:27:26
			that needs to be assumed when someone is
		
00:27:26 --> 00:27:28
			speaking to you that's a secret that you
		
00:27:28 --> 00:27:31
			need to treasure and in principle these are
		
00:27:31 --> 00:27:35
			secrets that we only expose if there is
		
00:27:35 --> 00:27:38
			a real material tangible need and more often
		
00:27:38 --> 00:27:42
			than not this is very rare so the
		
00:27:42 --> 00:27:43
			information that you're going to share my brother
		
00:27:43 --> 00:27:44
			my sister with your spouse or with others
		
00:27:44 --> 00:27:46
			about something you heard in a different conversation
		
00:27:46 --> 00:27:49
			don't share it more often than not i
		
00:27:49 --> 00:27:51
			agree it's probably not going to set off
		
00:27:51 --> 00:27:54
			world war three okay but it's also probably
		
00:27:54 --> 00:27:57
			not the solution to world peace either so
		
00:27:57 --> 00:27:59
			keep it to yourself and secrets in principle
		
00:27:59 --> 00:28:01
			they are only to be shared if there
		
00:28:01 --> 00:28:03
			is a genuine need and that is a
		
00:28:03 --> 00:28:08
			very rare circumstance that's number one that's number
		
00:28:08 --> 00:28:16
			five number six to choose the best of
		
00:28:16 --> 00:28:23
			friends for these gatherings only allah subhanahu wa
		
00:28:23 --> 00:28:25
			ta'ala knows how many people will enter
		
00:28:25 --> 00:28:28
			jannah because of a friend how many people
		
00:28:28 --> 00:28:32
			will go nose diving into * because of
		
00:28:32 --> 00:28:35
			a friend so much of who we are
		
00:28:35 --> 00:28:40
			our interests our ambitions our quirks our idiosyncrasies
		
00:28:40 --> 00:28:44
			our habits our desires our ambitions are formed
		
00:28:44 --> 00:28:47
			on the basis of the people we mix
		
00:28:47 --> 00:28:52
			with the most the prophet said man will
		
00:28:52 --> 00:28:55
			follow the religion of his friend and don't
		
00:28:55 --> 00:28:57
			ever say that no i'm i am immune
		
00:28:57 --> 00:28:59
			to the influence of others okay i've got
		
00:28:59 --> 00:29:01
			my own character don't you know what tribe
		
00:29:01 --> 00:29:02
			i'm from don't you know what family i'm
		
00:29:02 --> 00:29:05
			from i'm immune to the influence of others
		
00:29:05 --> 00:29:07
			no you and i are not immune to
		
00:29:07 --> 00:29:10
			the influence of weather i'm feeling quite down
		
00:29:10 --> 00:29:12
			this evening because it was raining all day
		
00:29:12 --> 00:29:16
			but it's sometimes a bit of an inconvenience
		
00:29:16 --> 00:29:19
			especially when it's mixed with traffic we're influenced
		
00:29:19 --> 00:29:22
			by water we're influenced by animals those who
		
00:29:22 --> 00:29:24
			take care of camels they are different to
		
00:29:24 --> 00:29:26
			those who take care of sheep that's what
		
00:29:26 --> 00:29:28
			the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us
		
00:29:28 --> 00:29:31
			arrogance pride showing off belongs to the arabs
		
00:29:31 --> 00:29:33
			who what take care of camels and calmness
		
00:29:33 --> 00:29:37
			tranquility belongs to those who tend to sheep
		
00:29:37 --> 00:29:39
			so animals affect us those who live in
		
00:29:39 --> 00:29:42
			higher altitudes they have a different temperament to
		
00:29:42 --> 00:29:43
			those who live in lower altitudes those who
		
00:29:43 --> 00:29:45
			live in hot climates have a different temperament
		
00:29:45 --> 00:29:49
			to those who live in cooler climates we're
		
00:29:49 --> 00:29:51
			affected by weather affected by animals affected by
		
00:29:51 --> 00:29:55
			land affected by altitude will you think that
		
00:29:55 --> 00:29:56
			we're not going to be affected by another
		
00:29:56 --> 00:30:01
			human being so choose your friend i was
		
00:30:01 --> 00:30:05
			speaking recently to a sister on the islam
		
00:30:05 --> 00:30:08
			in the islamic council of europe complaining of
		
00:30:08 --> 00:30:12
			her husband and to be honest nothing seemed
		
00:30:12 --> 00:30:14
			to be very wrong with him she was
		
00:30:14 --> 00:30:16
			complaining about him but she was saying all
		
00:30:16 --> 00:30:19
			the right things and i was saying to
		
00:30:19 --> 00:30:21
			her how is this a problem that's quite
		
00:30:21 --> 00:30:23
			good that he does that yeah yeah but
		
00:30:23 --> 00:30:26
			he's he does this as well well you're
		
00:30:26 --> 00:30:30
			lucky that's also quite a good thing she
		
00:30:30 --> 00:30:31
			was struggling to put him in a box
		
00:30:31 --> 00:30:34
			and then i said to her um you
		
00:30:34 --> 00:30:36
			seem to have all of the right ideas
		
00:30:36 --> 00:30:39
			but you don't seem to be doing the
		
00:30:39 --> 00:30:43
			right thing how come she said i think
		
00:30:43 --> 00:30:45
			it's my friends i said i think it's
		
00:30:45 --> 00:30:48
			your friends as well you have all the
		
00:30:48 --> 00:30:50
			right ideas but your friends are pushing you
		
00:30:50 --> 00:30:51
			to do the wrong things she said that
		
00:30:51 --> 00:30:53
			is exactly what my youngest daughter has been
		
00:30:53 --> 00:31:00
			saying to me on the day of judgment
		
00:31:00 --> 00:31:03
			when the wrongdoer will be seen biting his
		
00:31:03 --> 00:31:11
			hand out of regret saying oh i wish
		
00:31:11 --> 00:31:13
			i had taken a path with the prophet
		
00:31:18 --> 00:31:20
			oh how i wish that i had not
		
00:31:20 --> 00:31:26
			taken such and such as a friend he
		
00:31:26 --> 00:31:29
			turned me away from the remembrance after it
		
00:31:29 --> 00:31:32
			had come to me so for some people
		
00:31:32 --> 00:31:34
			on the day of judgment they will attribute
		
00:31:34 --> 00:31:36
			their downfall their misery their suffering on the
		
00:31:36 --> 00:31:41
			day of judgment to a deviant friend i
		
00:31:41 --> 00:31:44
			remember the word of al-qamah one of
		
00:31:44 --> 00:31:48
			the second generation muslims i arrived in asham
		
00:31:48 --> 00:31:51
			in greater syria and i entered the masjid
		
00:31:51 --> 00:31:55
			and i prayed and then instantly i made
		
00:31:55 --> 00:31:56
			a dua because he's a stranger in asham
		
00:31:59 --> 00:32:03
			oh allah almighty send me a righteous friend
		
00:32:03 --> 00:32:06
			send me a righteous friend i can sit
		
00:32:06 --> 00:32:09
			with he said then a an old man
		
00:32:09 --> 00:32:11
			came into the gathering so i sat next
		
00:32:11 --> 00:32:13
			to him i said to somebody who is
		
00:32:13 --> 00:32:17
			this they said that's abu darda the companion
		
00:32:17 --> 00:32:26
			of the prophet another one of the i
		
00:32:26 --> 00:32:30
			arrived in medina city of the prophet i
		
00:32:30 --> 00:32:32
			entered the masjid and i made a dua
		
00:32:34 --> 00:32:37
			oh allah guide me to a righteous friend
		
00:32:37 --> 00:32:40
			it's your priority if you are coming from
		
00:32:40 --> 00:32:41
			a different city to study here in kadif
		
00:32:41 --> 00:32:47
			young brothers your immediate priority is what a
		
00:32:47 --> 00:32:50
			righteous friend oh allah he said give me
		
00:32:50 --> 00:32:53
			a righteous friend this is he said so
		
00:32:53 --> 00:32:55
			a man came into the gathering and i
		
00:32:55 --> 00:32:57
			sat next to him what's your name he
		
00:32:57 --> 00:33:00
			said my name la ilaha illallah the companion
		
00:33:00 --> 00:33:04
			of the prophet and don't go on this
		
00:33:04 --> 00:33:06
			mad one about oh you know righteous friends
		
00:33:06 --> 00:33:08
			did they're so rare these days anyway where
		
00:33:08 --> 00:33:10
			am i going to find them it's not
		
00:33:10 --> 00:33:12
			like i'm in medina anyway where are they
		
00:33:12 --> 00:33:15
			they're not here no they're here in wales
		
00:33:15 --> 00:33:18
			they exist in kadif in kateys in this
		
00:33:18 --> 00:33:21
			masjid and other masajid they exist you know
		
00:33:21 --> 00:33:23
			what the issue is the issue is we
		
00:33:23 --> 00:33:26
			don't attract the righteous people into our lives
		
00:33:26 --> 00:33:29
			we present ourselves in a way where they
		
00:33:29 --> 00:33:30
			don't really want to be part of our
		
00:33:30 --> 00:33:32
			lives maybe you didn't make notice of this
		
00:33:32 --> 00:33:35
			it's like your social media feed what is
		
00:33:35 --> 00:33:38
			it going to feed you the content that
		
00:33:38 --> 00:33:41
			you engage in the algorithm is taking a
		
00:33:41 --> 00:33:45
			look even those videos that you slow down
		
00:33:45 --> 00:33:47
			never mind clicking it when you slow down
		
00:33:47 --> 00:33:50
			the pace slows down the algorithm connects right
		
00:33:50 --> 00:33:52
			you have some interest in this content so
		
00:33:52 --> 00:33:54
			it sends you more of it so you
		
00:33:54 --> 00:33:58
			can't blame social media blame yourself you attract
		
00:33:58 --> 00:34:03
			this content similarly if you say that righteous
		
00:34:03 --> 00:34:04
			people they're simply not coming my way i
		
00:34:04 --> 00:34:06
			don't know where they are just bouncing off
		
00:34:06 --> 00:34:09
			me think about how you are presenting yourself
		
00:34:09 --> 00:34:11
			think about the gatherings that you spend most
		
00:34:11 --> 00:34:13
			of your time in and then you will
		
00:34:13 --> 00:34:15
			find the issue why you're not attracting those
		
00:34:15 --> 00:34:19
			righteous people this can be changed that's number
		
00:34:19 --> 00:34:27
			one number six number seven of our ways
		
00:34:27 --> 00:34:34
			is to differentiate in gatherings between a joke
		
00:34:34 --> 00:34:40
			and mockery and this is another common slippery
		
00:34:40 --> 00:34:45
			slope you've heard the thing of uh why
		
00:34:45 --> 00:34:46
			are you getting upset bro it's just a
		
00:34:46 --> 00:34:49
			joke why are you deep in everything it's
		
00:34:49 --> 00:34:51
			just a joke what are you getting offended
		
00:34:51 --> 00:34:55
			can't take a joke well what is the
		
00:34:55 --> 00:35:01
			parameter of a joke mizah jokes in the
		
00:35:01 --> 00:35:04
			arabic language mizah is something that is supposed
		
00:35:04 --> 00:35:09
			to inspire you bring joy to hearts and
		
00:35:09 --> 00:35:13
			a smile make people happy ease some tension
		
00:35:13 --> 00:35:15
			if things are a little bit perhaps serious
		
00:35:15 --> 00:35:19
			in a conversation if however that begins to
		
00:35:19 --> 00:35:24
			cross over into the department of mockery embarrassment
		
00:35:24 --> 00:35:27
			and shaming even if the victim is smiling
		
00:35:28 --> 00:35:29
			you know because you don't want to come
		
00:35:29 --> 00:35:33
			across as weak then you've transitioned from mizah
		
00:35:33 --> 00:35:37
			joke to the to the world of mockery
		
00:35:37 --> 00:35:41
			and allah almighty has permitted jokes and he
		
00:35:41 --> 00:35:46
			has forbidden mockery he said let not a
		
00:35:46 --> 00:35:51
			people mock another people right even if you
		
00:35:51 --> 00:35:54
			see somebody smiling at your joke they could
		
00:35:54 --> 00:35:57
			be very much offended in their heart and
		
00:35:57 --> 00:35:58
			that's why one of the poets he says
		
00:35:58 --> 00:36:12
			well he
		
00:36:12 --> 00:36:14
			said there may be an eloquent person who
		
00:36:14 --> 00:36:16
			can speak very well but he restrains his
		
00:36:16 --> 00:36:18
			tongue because he's afraid of what he may
		
00:36:18 --> 00:36:22
			say and there may be somebody who smiles
		
00:36:22 --> 00:36:26
			to ease the tension of a his heart
		
00:36:26 --> 00:36:30
			is crying out in pain it's possible and
		
00:36:30 --> 00:36:35
			that's why they said to the prophet messenger
		
00:36:35 --> 00:36:37
			of allah we notice that you joke with
		
00:36:37 --> 00:36:41
			us notice that you joke with us there
		
00:36:41 --> 00:36:44
			wasn't all serious he said but i only
		
00:36:44 --> 00:36:47
			ever speak the truth have you ever heard
		
00:36:47 --> 00:36:49
			me lie have you heard my jokes become
		
00:36:49 --> 00:36:53
			excessive has he ever come at the expense
		
00:36:53 --> 00:36:55
			of any one of your honor he says
		
00:36:55 --> 00:37:02
			yes i only ever speak the truth that's
		
00:37:02 --> 00:37:11
			number one number seven number eight don't allow
		
00:37:11 --> 00:37:16
			in gatherings talents to go to waste this
		
00:37:16 --> 00:37:17
			is a key one before we conclude with
		
00:37:17 --> 00:37:22
			nine and ten you all remember how you
		
00:37:22 --> 00:37:24
			felt when you were set in a gathering
		
00:37:24 --> 00:37:27
			young or old and somebody had said something
		
00:37:27 --> 00:37:29
			that made you feel so small it stuck
		
00:37:29 --> 00:37:31
			with you for the rest of your life
		
00:37:31 --> 00:37:35
			i remember those moments and you also remember
		
00:37:35 --> 00:37:41
			those moments where somebody encouraged you to pursue
		
00:37:41 --> 00:37:44
			a particular path either through your material career
		
00:37:44 --> 00:37:50
			or islamic career and it boosted you into
		
00:37:50 --> 00:37:54
			the skies of self-esteem and confidence when
		
00:37:54 --> 00:37:57
			you're set in a gathering there are so
		
00:37:57 --> 00:38:00
			many opportunities and talents that have come together
		
00:38:00 --> 00:38:04
			but all they are waiting for is an
		
00:38:04 --> 00:38:08
			intelligent statement of encouragement and believe me off
		
00:38:08 --> 00:38:11
			they go don't allow those opportunities to go
		
00:38:11 --> 00:38:13
			to waste when you start with your children
		
00:38:13 --> 00:38:17
			your cousins your friends whoever they may be
		
00:38:17 --> 00:38:18
			you're sat in a gathering and you see
		
00:38:18 --> 00:38:23
			something that remotely resembles talent opportunity uh strength
		
00:38:23 --> 00:38:27
			passion channel it why don't you go get
		
00:38:27 --> 00:38:30
			a degree in that why don't you set
		
00:38:30 --> 00:38:32
			up an institute think about that as your
		
00:38:32 --> 00:38:35
			30-year vision why don't you do something
		
00:38:35 --> 00:38:38
			with that skill that you have abc how
		
00:38:38 --> 00:38:41
			many people in our islamic history launched into
		
00:38:41 --> 00:38:44
			the skies of productivity and effectiveness and leadership
		
00:38:44 --> 00:38:47
			and reformation because of an intelligent person like
		
00:38:47 --> 00:38:49
			yourself who said something about them even when
		
00:38:49 --> 00:38:52
			they were still children i remember by the
		
00:38:52 --> 00:38:56
			way this really is a quite an insignificant
		
00:38:56 --> 00:38:58
			example in light of what i will be
		
00:38:58 --> 00:39:00
			sharing with you with true examples of leadership
		
00:39:00 --> 00:39:04
			as a young kid i would be sat
		
00:39:04 --> 00:39:08
			on sofas with my feet barely touching the
		
00:39:08 --> 00:39:12
			ground i was maybe eight seven and there
		
00:39:12 --> 00:39:14
			would be my father's friends who've come to
		
00:39:14 --> 00:39:16
			visit him doctor so and so on professor
		
00:39:16 --> 00:39:19
			so and so on and he's looking at
		
00:39:19 --> 00:39:22
			me the whole time say something come on
		
00:39:22 --> 00:39:25
			you've got something to say you've got an
		
00:39:25 --> 00:39:28
			opinion here and sometimes i would sometimes i'd
		
00:39:28 --> 00:39:30
			get too afraid by the end of it
		
00:39:30 --> 00:39:31
			he said to me baba why didn't you
		
00:39:31 --> 00:39:33
			speak don't you know that you know more
		
00:39:33 --> 00:39:36
			than all of them seven year olds what
		
00:39:36 --> 00:39:38
			do i know he said you know more
		
00:39:38 --> 00:39:41
			more than all of them speak now i
		
00:39:41 --> 00:39:48
			can't stop speaking my wife says you love
		
00:39:48 --> 00:39:51
			the sound of your voice stop speaking give
		
00:39:51 --> 00:39:54
			us a break these things mean a lot
		
00:39:54 --> 00:40:01
			to us we're humans young child from the
		
00:40:01 --> 00:40:04
			tribe of najjar they present him to the
		
00:40:04 --> 00:40:08
			prophet and they say to a messenger of
		
00:40:08 --> 00:40:10
			allah this young man from our tribe has
		
00:40:10 --> 00:40:14
			memorized 17 surahs of the quran and so
		
00:40:14 --> 00:40:16
			zaid he recited some of it to the
		
00:40:16 --> 00:40:20
			prophet he was impressed what did he do
		
00:40:20 --> 00:40:22
			patted him on the back and gave him
		
00:40:22 --> 00:40:25
			a certificate told him to go home no
		
00:40:25 --> 00:40:26
			he said zaid i have a project for
		
00:40:26 --> 00:40:30
			you i want you to learn the language
		
00:40:30 --> 00:40:33
			of the jews for me he explained to
		
00:40:33 --> 00:40:42
			him why only
		
00:40:42 --> 00:40:46
			15 days passed and i had mastered their
		
00:40:46 --> 00:40:49
			language two weeks i had mastered their language
		
00:40:50 --> 00:40:51
			so i became the scribe of the prophet
		
00:40:51 --> 00:40:54
			when they would communicate with him and i
		
00:40:54 --> 00:40:56
			would write letters to the jews on behalf
		
00:40:56 --> 00:40:58
			of the prophet when he had something to
		
00:40:58 --> 00:41:02
			say i don't know who to be more
		
00:41:02 --> 00:41:07
			impressed with am i to be impressed with
		
00:41:07 --> 00:41:11
			the ability of zaid it's amazing or is
		
00:41:11 --> 00:41:15
			it an should we be impressed with the
		
00:41:15 --> 00:41:18
			ability of the prophet to identify talent to
		
00:41:18 --> 00:41:21
			see where his skill set needs to be
		
00:41:21 --> 00:41:23
			funneled that's what happens when you identify a
		
00:41:23 --> 00:41:24
			talent and you say something about what will
		
00:41:24 --> 00:41:26
			it cost you it cost you a statement
		
00:41:28 --> 00:41:31
			and imam muthahabi we have his books at
		
00:41:31 --> 00:41:34
			the back and for those who are unsure
		
00:41:34 --> 00:41:35
			the clue is that there are probably 15
		
00:41:35 --> 00:41:41
			volumes and no islamic library can be considered
		
00:41:41 --> 00:41:43
			a decent islamic library if it's missing the
		
00:41:43 --> 00:41:46
			books of imam the famous scholar of hadith
		
00:41:46 --> 00:41:50
			and the famous historian how did his story
		
00:41:51 --> 00:41:54
			begin he said i was a young child
		
00:41:54 --> 00:41:57
			and my teacher al-birzali he looked at
		
00:41:57 --> 00:42:03
			my handwriting and he said your handwriting resembles
		
00:42:03 --> 00:42:07
			the handwriting of the scholars of hadith he
		
00:42:07 --> 00:42:11
			said so allah almighty at that moment placed
		
00:42:11 --> 00:42:14
			in my heart the love of hadith and
		
00:42:14 --> 00:42:15
			his journey began and he became the great
		
00:42:15 --> 00:42:21
			imam what did that cost al-birzali and
		
00:42:21 --> 00:42:23
			what has he earned now inshallah if his
		
00:42:23 --> 00:42:28
			intention was sincere and imam al-bukhari has
		
00:42:28 --> 00:42:30
			a similar story he said we are sat
		
00:42:30 --> 00:42:33
			and he was 16 years old we were
		
00:42:33 --> 00:42:36
			sat with the teacher ishaq ibn rahawi and
		
00:42:36 --> 00:42:45
			imam ishaq he says hadith he said why
		
00:42:45 --> 00:42:46
			hasn't it occurred to any of you to
		
00:42:46 --> 00:42:49
			think about compiling a book of all of
		
00:42:49 --> 00:42:52
			the authentic hadith of the prophet he said
		
00:42:52 --> 00:42:54
			so allah almighty put it into my heart
		
00:42:55 --> 00:42:56
			i will be the one who will do
		
00:42:56 --> 00:42:59
			this he was 16 at the time and
		
00:42:59 --> 00:43:02
			he dedicated the next 16 years to achieving
		
00:43:02 --> 00:43:03
			this project by the time he reached the
		
00:43:03 --> 00:43:06
			age of 32 he he had completed it
		
00:43:06 --> 00:43:08
			we marvel at imam al-bukhari rahimahullah i
		
00:43:08 --> 00:43:10
			marvel at his teacher who spotted the talent
		
00:43:12 --> 00:43:15
			so do this my brother my sister it
		
00:43:15 --> 00:43:17
			will not cost you anything and one last
		
00:43:17 --> 00:43:20
			thing i remember a statement mentioned by badruddin
		
00:43:20 --> 00:43:21
			ibn al-jama'a take note of it
		
00:43:23 --> 00:43:32
			badruddin he says he said whenever
		
00:43:32 --> 00:43:35
			we the scholars used to see signs of
		
00:43:35 --> 00:43:38
			intelligence in any young man we would cast
		
00:43:38 --> 00:43:41
			our nets over him do you understand this
		
00:43:41 --> 00:43:44
			we would throw our nets over him figuratively
		
00:43:44 --> 00:43:49
			speaking and he would take him in so
		
00:43:49 --> 00:43:50
			we only let him go when he has
		
00:43:50 --> 00:43:54
			become a scholar so we need people like
		
00:43:54 --> 00:43:58
			this you're sat in a gathering someone sings
		
00:43:58 --> 00:44:01
			beyonce or bieber or whoever it may be
		
00:44:01 --> 00:44:04
			and it's an awful lyric but you know
		
00:44:04 --> 00:44:08
			what this person has a voice why don't
		
00:44:08 --> 00:44:10
			you think about doing adhan do that be
		
00:44:10 --> 00:44:12
			generous with your kalam even if you're not
		
00:44:12 --> 00:44:14
			too convinced by the way just say it
		
00:44:14 --> 00:44:16
			say it's not going to convince you anything
		
00:44:16 --> 00:44:17
			it's not going to cost you anything say
		
00:44:17 --> 00:44:21
			it praise send out encouragement you don't know
		
00:44:21 --> 00:44:23
			what allah almighty will allow to happen through
		
00:44:23 --> 00:44:26
			your words of encouragement that's number eight number
		
00:44:26 --> 00:44:28
			eight number nine very quickly a few do's
		
00:44:28 --> 00:44:32
			and don'ts in these gatherings first of all
		
00:44:34 --> 00:44:36
			sometimes we get comfortable when we're sat with
		
00:44:36 --> 00:44:39
			family or immediate friends and we position ourselves
		
00:44:39 --> 00:44:41
			in ways where our awrah parts of our
		
00:44:41 --> 00:44:44
			body that should be covered becomes slightly uncovered
		
00:44:44 --> 00:44:48
			like for example the thigh yeah that should
		
00:44:48 --> 00:44:51
			be covered and that's why jorhud al-aslami
		
00:44:51 --> 00:44:52
			he said that the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
		
00:44:52 --> 00:44:54
			sallam walked past me and part of my
		
00:44:54 --> 00:44:57
			thigh was uncovered and he said to me
		
00:44:57 --> 00:45:03
			cover your thigh because the thigh is a
		
00:45:03 --> 00:45:10
			private part right that's one quick do or
		
00:45:10 --> 00:45:14
			don't the other thing is if there are
		
00:45:14 --> 00:45:18
			two who are speaking one is older than
		
00:45:18 --> 00:45:20
			the other precedence in principle should be given
		
00:45:20 --> 00:45:23
			to the older and that's why when two
		
00:45:23 --> 00:45:25
			brothers came to the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
		
00:45:25 --> 00:45:27
			sallam to speak to him and then the
		
00:45:27 --> 00:45:29
			younger one started to speak he said to
		
00:45:29 --> 00:45:32
			him let the let your older brother speak
		
00:45:32 --> 00:45:35
			first let your older brother speak first another
		
00:45:35 --> 00:45:37
			one of the do's and don'ts is if
		
00:45:37 --> 00:45:41
			you come into a uh a gathering don't
		
00:45:41 --> 00:45:42
			separate between two who are sat next to
		
00:45:42 --> 00:45:45
			one another except with their permission don't separate
		
00:45:45 --> 00:45:48
			between two and sit between them right only
		
00:45:48 --> 00:45:52
			if they have given what permission another one
		
00:45:52 --> 00:45:54
			of the do's and don'ts is don't speak
		
00:45:54 --> 00:45:57
			in a language or in a tone that
		
00:45:57 --> 00:46:01
			is imperceptible to one of three people so
		
00:46:01 --> 00:46:03
			there is a gathering of three two of
		
00:46:03 --> 00:46:07
			them are not allowed to whisper or by
		
00:46:07 --> 00:46:10
			extension speaking in other language when the third
		
00:46:10 --> 00:46:25
			is unable to hear or understand our
		
00:46:25 --> 00:46:28
			prophet he said if three people sit in
		
00:46:28 --> 00:46:30
			a gathering then two of them should not
		
00:46:30 --> 00:46:35
			engage in secret conversation without the third being
		
00:46:35 --> 00:46:37
			able to hear only if he has given
		
00:46:37 --> 00:46:39
			permission look at the elegance and the class
		
00:46:39 --> 00:46:41
			of our religion huh only if he has
		
00:46:41 --> 00:46:44
			given permission why because this upsets him that
		
00:46:44 --> 00:46:47
			will upset him what an elegant religion allahu
		
00:46:47 --> 00:46:52
			akbar also one of the adab one of
		
00:46:52 --> 00:46:54
			the mannerisms under this heading number nine is
		
00:46:54 --> 00:46:57
			when you come into a gathering don't ask
		
00:46:57 --> 00:46:59
			someone to get up from their seat for
		
00:46:59 --> 00:47:02
			you to sit in its place right somebody
		
00:47:02 --> 00:47:04
			gets up for you ideally you should let
		
00:47:04 --> 00:47:06
			them to sit back where they were sat
		
00:47:06 --> 00:47:07
			and you find somewhere else to sit just
		
00:47:07 --> 00:47:11
			sit in the nearest place that becomes available
		
00:47:12 --> 00:47:13
			these are several do's and don'ts and i
		
00:47:13 --> 00:47:15
			will conclude therefore with the tenth and that
		
00:47:15 --> 00:47:21
			is a concluding dua when you finish a
		
00:47:21 --> 00:47:23
			gathering there is a dua that is required
		
00:47:23 --> 00:47:26
			of you i'm sure you've been in a
		
00:47:26 --> 00:47:28
			situation before where you've sat with a people
		
00:47:28 --> 00:47:32
			when you've spoken about things that were not
		
00:47:32 --> 00:47:34
			ideal to say the least and you feel
		
00:47:34 --> 00:47:36
			the grime of it in your heart have
		
00:47:36 --> 00:47:39
			you been in those gatherings before you come
		
00:47:39 --> 00:47:42
			out feeling very different to how you feel
		
00:47:42 --> 00:47:45
			walking out of the masjid this evening heart
		
00:47:45 --> 00:47:50
			feels heavy soul feels burdened the gaze wasn't
		
00:47:50 --> 00:47:55
			lowered bad language was used excessive joking was
		
00:47:55 --> 00:48:01
			employed so on and so forth there is
		
00:48:01 --> 00:48:02
			a way to erase all of the sins
		
00:48:02 --> 00:48:04
			that you may have incurred in that gathering
		
00:48:05 --> 00:48:07
			and that is the hadith of the prophet
		
00:48:07 --> 00:48:10
			sallallahu alayhi wasallam where he said that any
		
00:48:10 --> 00:48:35
			people who sit in a gathering any
		
00:48:35 --> 00:48:38
			person who sits in a gathering and a
		
00:48:38 --> 00:48:41
			lot of inappropriate talk had happened within it
		
00:48:41 --> 00:48:46
			and then they say the following words glory
		
00:48:46 --> 00:48:48
			be to you oh allah i praise you
		
00:48:50 --> 00:48:51
			i testify that none has the right to
		
00:48:51 --> 00:48:56
			be worshipped but you i ask you for
		
00:48:56 --> 00:48:58
			your forgiveness and i turn in repentance he
		
00:48:58 --> 00:49:01
			said allah will erase all of the sins
		
00:49:01 --> 00:49:03
			that may have happened in that gathering so
		
00:49:03 --> 00:49:05
			imagine in the gatherings of the prophet alayhi
		
00:49:05 --> 00:49:08
			salatu wasalam those gatherings of iman and salah
		
00:49:08 --> 00:49:10
			and taqwa and jihad and planning for the
		
00:49:10 --> 00:49:13
			religion and quran and deen and angels and
		
00:49:13 --> 00:49:17
			jibreel he says even our gatherings need it
		
00:49:17 --> 00:49:22
			so what about our gatherings memorize this and
		
00:49:22 --> 00:49:24
			our mother aisha she said he would say
		
00:49:24 --> 00:49:27
			this dua after he finishes salah after he
		
00:49:27 --> 00:49:30
			finishes the recitation of quran and after he
		
00:49:30 --> 00:49:31
			gets up from any gathering take note of
		
00:49:31 --> 00:49:36
			those three so with this said repeat it
		
00:49:49 --> 00:49:54
			so with this said alhamdulillah we can conclude
		
00:49:54 --> 00:49:57
			and we hope with these 10 ways and
		
00:49:57 --> 00:50:00
			mannerisms these gatherings of ours that we engage
		
00:50:00 --> 00:50:03
			in tens of times a day can become
		
00:50:03 --> 00:50:06
			a means of our growth connection with allah
		
00:50:06 --> 00:50:08
			almighty as opposed to them becoming gathering of
		
00:50:08 --> 00:50:13
			rejection of rejection and regret on yom al
		
00:50:13 --> 00:50:17
			-qiyamah we will pause here inshallah next week
		
00:50:17 --> 00:50:19
			we will have another session where most likely
		
00:50:19 --> 00:50:21
			we will be speaking about our ways in
		
00:50:21 --> 00:50:25
			making decisions in our ways in making decisions
		
00:50:25 --> 00:50:26
			if there is something you are struggling with
		
00:50:26 --> 00:50:29
			between one potential spouse or the other or
		
00:50:29 --> 00:50:32
			one job or the other one opportunity in
		
00:50:32 --> 00:50:34
			life or the other there is a series
		
00:50:34 --> 00:50:36
			of ways that we can take to ensure
		
00:50:36 --> 00:50:38
			that we have made the right decision inshallah
		
00:50:38 --> 00:50:40
			that will be next week