Ali Hammuda – Our Ways in Social Gatherings – Episode 11 – Our Ways
AI: Summary ©
The importance of gathering and being around people in Islam is emphasized, along with the need for safe practices and avoiding clinging to privacy. The transcript discusses various hadiths and the importance of identifying talent and building a library of potential opportunities. The speakers stress the need for privacy and confidentiality in public gatherings and suggest ways to make decisions and make decisions in a series of ten ways. Different speakers emphasize the importance of avoiding embarrassment and mockery, highlighting the need for privacy and confidentiality in gatherings, and providing permission for others to speak in a certain way.
AI: Summary ©
The human being by his or her nature
is a social creature.
We thrive off the energy of one another
as human beings.
Most of us, if not an introvert, prefer
to be around people as opposed to himself,
herself.
We love the idea of being around siblings,
cousins, friends, families, colleagues, people who will tell
you about the latest football score, those who
will complain about the weather, and others who
will celebrate Bitcoin peaking at the moment.
Most of us, this is our nature, we
enjoy being around one another.
And perhaps the huge uptake of social media
in the early 2000s, the explosive adoption of
all of the channels out there till this
day, it's quite indicative of this reality.
That the human being, as the scholars of
sociology they say, that man by his nature
is a social creature.
Paradise would not have been complete for our
father Adam, despite all what was in it.
In the absence of his wife Hawa, she
was his second, she was his comfort, his
tranquility.
And that is indicative of how we are
with our spouses, with our parents, with our
children, and with us here.
That's why as a quick disclaimer or a
side note, we mentioned that what the masjid
offers in terms of barakah, in terms of
fortifying your iman, in terms of solidifying your
allegiance to your brothers and sisters in Islam,
the companionship of the angels, the erasing of
sins, the prayer in congregation, the hearing of
Qur'an, all of this cannot be found
online.
Even if you were to attend the same
lecture, and to listen to it and take
notes better online than you would in the
masjid.
What the masjid has to offer cannot be
compared to anything else.
We are immensely social by our nature, and
that is by design, that is intertwined into
our DNA.
So it makes perfect sense, building on from
this introduction, that Islam would have something to
say about how we manage and how we
govern these social interactions.
It has to say something about it.
Seeing that our life is but a constellation,
a collection, a bundle of gatherings.
That is what your life is.
Your life is a bundle of gatherings.
Gatherings online, offline.
Before you came to the masjid, you were
in a gathering.
Now in the masjid, you are in a
gathering.
When you go home in the car, you're
going to be in a gathering.
If you take a business call, that's a
gathering.
And a talk that you're going to engage
in with your spouse if you are married,
that's a gathering.
And tomorrow, repeat, eight o'clock, rise, work,
that's a gathering.
Entire life is but a constellation and a
bundle of gatherings.
So have I convinced you of the importance
of the session this evening, our ways as
Muslims, with respect to gatherings?
Seeing that these gatherings are places where the
name of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is
remembered or abandoned.
Gatherings are places where secrets are upheld or
disclosed.
Gatherings are places where people are honored or
embarrassed and disgraced.
Gatherings are places where hasanat are scooped up
good deeds or we hemorrhage with sin.
Gatherings are places where talents are discovered and
directed for the akhirah and empires in dunya
and the hereafter.
For Allah almighty are established or talents or
go to waste.
And seeing that gatherings can take you to
paradise or lead you to *.
And on top of all of this, seeing
that your life is, as I mentioned earlier,
is but a collection of small gatherings.
You see why it is of the essence
that we dedicate some time in our life
to understand what our sharia's expectation is of
us when we engage in those gatherings so
that on the day of judgement we don't
look at any one of our gatherings and
weep as we see it as a missed
opportunity and a cause of regret.
So let us begin.
What does our religion have to say with
respect to the mannerisms, the adab?
What are our ways in any gathering?
This is social, this is business, this is
political in the chambers of the parliament, that
is in your takeaway, that is on site,
that is online, that is at home, that
is on the bus stop, on the phone
and elsewhere.
I'm going to mention to you 10 points
and this is really a sample of what
the religion has to say about the mannerisms
of gatherings otherwise there is a lot more
to say.
Take note of them.
If we're able to master just these 10
then I hope we are on a high
road to Jannah, a place that Allah Almighty
will be pleased with us because of what
we did during these gatherings.
So let us begin.
The first of our ways with respect to
any one of our gatherings is to enter
that gathering with a greeting of Salaam and
to depart with a greeting of Salaam.
There's a million and one ways that you
can introduce yourself and greet those around you
depending on your culture or language.
In English we say hey, hi, hello, we
say afternoon, morning, evening.
Oh my god I can't believe you guys
are here, it's so good to see you.
Great.
None of these introductions however, they come near
in majesty and honour and thawab, reward than
the greeting of Islam, Salaamu Alaikum or Asalaamu
Alaikum wa Rahmatullah or ideally Asalaamu Alaikum wa
Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu.
That's when you enter the gathering, that's when
you leave the gathering.
And that's why the Prophet ﷺ he said
in the hadith which Abu Dawud narrates on
the authority of Abu Huraira, he said when
one of you arrives at a gathering, let
him offer Salaam, Salaamu Alaikum, and when you
desire to leave the gathering, say Salaamu Alaikum.
Because the first Salaam is not more of
a duty than the last one.
The first duty upon coming or the first
Salaam upon entering the gathering is not more
of a duty than the second one when
you leave.
Why prioritise one and ignore the other?
Salaamu Alaikum upon entry and Salaamu Alaikum upon
departure.
But caveat here, spoiler alert, it's not as
easy as that.
When you say Asalaamu Alaikum to another Muslim,
what you have done in reality is offered
them a guarantee of safety.
You have in the eyes of Allah Jalla
Jalaluhu signed a contract and Allah said, Aufu
bil Uqood, fulfill your contracts.
When you say Asalaamu Alaikum to someone, that's
not just a cute way of being a
Muslimic in the 21st century, no.
When you say Asalaamu Alaikum, you are saying,
I gave you a pact, an agreement, a
security agreement from me, a promise between me
and Allah that I will not send any
harm your way.
You will only hear khair and goodness from
me in front of you and behind your
back.
I'm not going to break your heart, I'm
not going to insult you, I'm not going
to embarrass you, I'm not going to raise
my voice at you if this is of
course without necessity.
I'm not going to overcharge you, I'm not
going to engage in fraud, not going to
cheat.
That's what you are saying, Asalaamu Alaikum, you're
guaranteed peace from me.
So it's a huge paradox, it's a huge
contradiction in the life of a believer to
enter upon a gathering or to say someone
Asalaamu Alaikum and then you overcharge that person
or you insult that person or you backstab
him the moment he disappears for a moment,
goes to the bathroom or you engage in
reckless driving or it's likes.
How?
This is a contradiction, you've guaranteed him your
safety, you've given a promise and in the
eyes of a chivalrous man and a righteous
noble woman, they would prefer to die many
times over than to break a single one
of the promises that they have made between
Allah Almighty concerning another Muslim.
So this is the first of our ways
when it comes to gatherings, to enter the
gathering upon Asalaam and to depart with Asalaam.
The second one of our ways with respect
to gatherings is to use your moments in
that gathering to remember the name of Allah
Almighty at least once.
It is completely okay for you as an
employee to speak to your friends and family
or those you mix with about life at
work.
It's completely understandable my sister, my brother that
you will speak about your marriage to your
friends within the parameters that we are all
hopefully aware of.
It's completely understandable that as businessmen, businesswomen you
want to speak about the experiences out there.
But what is not acceptable, what is borderline
reprehensible even is for you to partake in
a gathering from beginning to end, spanning perhaps
an hour or more and the name of
Allah Almighty fails to feature in a single
one of your sentences.
How can this be and what does this
say about our connection to Allah Almighty?
Is it not that when we love something,
it overspills in our talk?
When we are in love with someone, is
it not that it appears in our narrative
and discourse?
And that's why the Arabs they say, The
one who is in love is always exposed.
You see it in his glance, the arching
of his back, if he's not getting what
he wants, and the way he speaks, how
he continues to sigh and look around.
There's clearly something wrong.
They say, the one in love is exposed.
Why?
You cannot hide it.
Similarly, one who is truly in love with
Allah Almighty, one has that intimate connection with
him, it has to appear in your time.
It has to appear in your speech.
It cannot be that you allow 30 minutes,
an hour, two, with friends and others without
saying, Allahumma salli wa sallim ala nabiyyina Muhammad,
or la ilaha illallah, or astaghfirullah wa atubu
ilayh, or time for salah, brothers, time for
salah, sisters, or something to that effect.
It cannot be.
And that is why our Messenger ﷺ, he
said, مَا مِن قَوْمٍ جَلَسُوا فِي مَجْلِسٍ لَمْ
يَذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ تَعَالَ فِيهِ إِلَّا رَأُوهُ حَسْرَةً يَوْمَ
الْقِيَامَةِ Any people who sit in a gathering
whereby the name of Allah Almighty is not
mentioned, not even once, they will see that
gathering as a cause of regret on the
Day of Judgment.
And in another authentic narration, he ﷺ added
and said, وَإِن دَخَلُوا الْجَنَّةِ Even if they
enter Jannah, imagine, Jannah with all of its
pleasures and all of the burdens that you
drop outside, one thing from dunya that will
follow you inside, a hurt, a regret of
a gathering that you had partook in, in
dunya, where the name of Allah Almighty wasn't
even mentioned once.
He said, even if they enter Jannah.
So you're not expected to be speaking every
second of that gathering.
You're not required to do that.
There will be moments where you will pause,
you will take a breath, reach out for
some tea, say لا إله إلا الله, say
سبحان الله, say الحمد لله, move your mouth
with the remembrance of Allah جل جلاله, don't
make it a gathering of regret.
And that's why the sahabi, the companions, they
would observe the behavior of the Prophet ﷺ
in gatherings and they would see whenever he
was not talking and his kalam, his talk
wasn't much, he was there in some moment
of silence and contemplation connecting with his Lord
saying رَبِّ غْفِرْ لِي وَتُوبْ عَلَيْهِ My Lord
forgive me and I turn to you in
repentance إنك أنت التواب الغفور You are the
ever-relenting, the ever-pardoning لا إله إلا
الله عبدالله بن عمر He said كنا نعد
لرسول الله ﷺ في المجلس الواحد أن يقول
مئة مرة رَبِّ غْفِرْ لِي وَتُوبْ عَلَيْهِ إنك
أنت التواب الغفور We used to count in
any one gathering of the Prophet ﷺ him
saying a hundred times Allah forgive me and
I turn to you in repentance, you are
the ever-relenting and you are the ever
-forgiving connected with his Lord even when he
is with his sahabi, that is way number
one way number two, way number three and
it connects to number two make sure that
you give those around you the attention they
deserve in any gathering that you participate in
just because as we mentioned in the point
before it that you want to be engaging
in some sort of dhikr remembrance of Allah
Almighty when sat with people it doesn't mean
that you disconnect with others completely no when
you're sat with people especially the VIPs in
your life mom and dad that crown that
list and all those who appreciate their time
with you make sure you give them your
undivided attention so put down the phone not
now when you're sat with your family snapshot
the laptop put down the fidget spinner if
that's still a thing and give your parents
to your loved ones your full attention don't
be distracted no one would like to admit
it or say why are you not focusing
on me because it comes across as a
little bit needy a little bit clingy we
don't want to come across as clingy but
you know what there is a subconscious reaction
to someone you see carrying the phone when
you're trying to talk with them sit in
a gathering and someone has the phone in
his hand what is the message that's being
sent you're important not as important as this
though because if this goes off i've got
to take the call you are number two
in this conversation that's happening in the subconscious
of our mind the worst thing and perhaps
you've seen it before you get into a
gathering and first thing that we all do
what do we do take out the phone
and put it on me on the table
we all put it on the table right
like we're going to play some sort of
russian roulettes there there it is just because
you've put it on its face now it
doesn't make it any better right and the
worst one is when the phone begins to
ring what do we do we take it
and then we we heroically announce huh i'm
not going to take this one i'm not
going to take this one as if to
say today you are so lucky to have
my attention because i didn't take the call
for you put it you don't need the
phone to be there yeah get down from
the cloud you know download yourself into reality
and and focus wholeheartedly mind soul spirit essence
with those around you we feel it and
that's why when someone takes out their phone
and we're walking with them you feel stupid
have you felt that before you're walking with
someone and you're in a meeting or someone's
at home eating with you and they take
out their phone they're just just a second
i just need to really get to this
message and you're there twiddling your thumb like
okay where do i fit into this equation
so you feel the need to then take
out your phone just to get out of
that awkward feeling of being irrelevant don't do
that our prophet never mind mobile phones and
all of the complications and the access that
they give you something as small as a
ring our messenger wouldn't allow its glitter to
distract him from his sahaba who wanted his
attention phenomenal adab manners that's why abdullah ibn
abbas he said that the prophet muhammad once
took for himself a ring this was his
sunnah but this must have been an expensive
ring or a beautiful ring and he noticed
that the ring was distracting him from his
sahaba his companions and so he said he
said this ring of mine has distracted me
this day from you i'm giving a glance
and i'm giving you a glance and i'm
giving a glance and i'm giving you guys
a glance ibn abbas said so he took
it off and he gave it away what
about the phone and all of the exposure
and access that gives you put it all
away when you're with those who appreciate your
attention and give them your undivided attention that's
number one it's number three the fourth of
our ways is a bold confident courageous correction
of sinful behavior that may take place in
front of you in a gathering of some
sort what may have begun as an innocent
conversation banter talk about business family trade or
its likes the ummah dawah charity whatever it
may be can with the passage of time
if not careful begin to veer down a
very dark path and quickly devolve into a
gathering of haram where now all of a
sudden gazes are not lowered perhaps there is
some sort of intermingling between the sexes that
is not permissible in the religion perhaps now
we begin to speak in a bit more
of a relaxed fashion about the honors of
the honor of another muslim perhaps voices are
now raised perhaps egos have clearly infiltrated the
room perhaps now we're fighting we're speaking over
one another we're just trying to prove a
point perhaps some of us are now using
some vulgar bad language in our conversation to
whatever it may be i remember if you
are participating in a gathering like this there
is a duty upon you and i to
offer some gentle and wise and timely advice
our brothers sisters i mean we need to
step out of this territory let's say we
don't need to talk about other people let's
leave it for a moment okay right if
your advice is taken good your advice is
not taken then you have to move to
phase two which is what which is what
my brothers leave the gathering if you can
that is leave the gathering otherwise if you
don't do that then in the eyes of
allah almighty you are just as guilty of
the crime that they're engaging so think about
you sat in a gathering where alcohol for
example is being consumed now think about it
where the opposite gender is being described in
an awful way a vulgar way an explicit
way i'm not i'm not doing i'm not
drinking i'm not talking well someone's there with
his weed or hash their hashish or their
shisha right it's a lounge that is filled
with smoke i'm not doing it i'm just
drinking orange juice i know if you don't
follow this process we speak about in the
eyes of allah this doesn't matter you're doing
the same and that is why allah almighty
said in the quran two i asked one
more frightening than the other allah almighty said
when you come across those who are speaking
inappropriately about our signs so turn away from
them turn away from them allah said leave
the gathering until they change the topic until
they speak about something else in another more
severe ayah allah almighty said allah has already
revealed to you in the book hadith that
if you are sat in a gathering and
you hear the ayat the signs of allah
almighty being disbelieved in or mocked allah said
then don't sit with them till they speak
about something else he said otherwise you will
be just like them you will be just
like them and that's why imam said commenting
on this ayah he said therefore anybody who
sits in a gathering a gathering of sin
without speaking against the sin then in the
eyes of allah he is just like them
he's just like them right so we have
a duty if you see something that is
happening you have to say about it you
have to say something about and don't allow
your fear to get the better of you
though we all fall victim to this no
doubt from time to time when we struggle
but at least be aware of the theory
we are theoretically speaking not allowed to allow
fear to stop us from saying what is
right and what is true irrespective of who
is there in a gathering but you choose
your words appropriately according to the context and
that's why in a phenomenal hadith which ahmad
narrates on the authority of he said allah
almighty will interrogate people on the day of
judgment and he will ask one person why
is it that you didn't speak out against
evil when you saw it happening in front
of you that's a question you and i
are to expect and i for myself don't
know what i will answer if i before
allah almighty and he tells me and he
asked me this question about palestine and gaza
or zionism or whatever it may be or
the other isms that are affecting us in
the west and the list is endless it's
a scary concept so allah will ask a
person why is it that you did not
speak about an evil or against an evil
when you saw it happening in front of
you the hadith continues if
allah enables a person to give an appropriate
response back to allah because this person is
guilty this person is guilty there's no getting
out of it so he said if allah
enables this person to give the the best
possible response in that situation he will say
my lord i had hopes in you and
to be honest i was afraid of the
people my lord i had hopes in you
and i was really afraid of the people
and abu sa'id narrated another hadith where
the messenger said he said no person
should allow fear to prevent him from speaking
the truth if he comes to learn of
it abu sa'id al-khudri when he
would quote this hadith he would cry and
he would say by allah we have seen
things that are wrong and evil and we
were afraid of people and we didn't speak
against it and he would say i wish
i had never learned of this hadith it's
a huge responsibility so this is number one
my brothers this is number four if you
are sat in a gathering you want to
have a duty if we see a sin
of some sort happening in front of us
to say something in a wise in a
gentle in a contextual manner but just to
sit there and nod and think that you're
exempt because you're not doing it you're not
saying it you're not smoking it it's all
the same in the eyes of allah almighty
if you're still there that's number four to
speak out against a sin that may happen
in front of you number five the fifth
of our ways is not everything that is
discussed in the gathering needs to be disclosed
to others there needs to be some assumption
of confidentiality and privacy when you're speaking to
someone some of us really have this very
peculiar and quite an annoying habit of reporting
back to our wives or she reports back
to her husband at the end of each
evening about everything that she or he had
heard from others during that day and she
said and he said everything and sometimes the
coat is even hung so he's coming into
the house he's still hanging his coat and
the report is being given the downloading of
the information what if the other party didn't
want this information divulged to others right it
needs to be an assumption here i don't
need to always stick the label of please
don't tell others that i told you this
onto every conversation that i share with you
this needs to be assumed that's why the
prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam he said gatherings are
to be considered as trusts gatherings are to
be considered as amanah as trusts and he
said if a person speaks to you whilst
looking left and right then consider it an
amanah a trust i don't have to tell
you please don't tell anyone please keep this
to yourself even your wife ya habibi please
don't tell her we don't need to go
through all of these caveats it's an amanah
that needs to be assumed when someone is
speaking to you that's a secret that you
need to treasure and in principle these are
secrets that we only expose if there is
a real material tangible need and more often
than not this is very rare so the
information that you're going to share my brother
my sister with your spouse or with others
about something you heard in a different conversation
don't share it more often than not i
agree it's probably not going to set off
world war three okay but it's also probably
not the solution to world peace either so
keep it to yourself and secrets in principle
they are only to be shared if there
is a genuine need and that is a
very rare circumstance that's number one that's number
five number six to choose the best of
friends for these gatherings only allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala knows how many people will enter
jannah because of a friend how many people
will go nose diving into * because of
a friend so much of who we are
our interests our ambitions our quirks our idiosyncrasies
our habits our desires our ambitions are formed
on the basis of the people we mix
with the most the prophet said man will
follow the religion of his friend and don't
ever say that no i'm i am immune
to the influence of others okay i've got
my own character don't you know what tribe
i'm from don't you know what family i'm
from i'm immune to the influence of others
no you and i are not immune to
the influence of weather i'm feeling quite down
this evening because it was raining all day
but it's sometimes a bit of an inconvenience
especially when it's mixed with traffic we're influenced
by water we're influenced by animals those who
take care of camels they are different to
those who take care of sheep that's what
the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us
arrogance pride showing off belongs to the arabs
who what take care of camels and calmness
tranquility belongs to those who tend to sheep
so animals affect us those who live in
higher altitudes they have a different temperament to
those who live in lower altitudes those who
live in hot climates have a different temperament
to those who live in cooler climates we're
affected by weather affected by animals affected by
land affected by altitude will you think that
we're not going to be affected by another
human being so choose your friend i was
speaking recently to a sister on the islam
in the islamic council of europe complaining of
her husband and to be honest nothing seemed
to be very wrong with him she was
complaining about him but she was saying all
the right things and i was saying to
her how is this a problem that's quite
good that he does that yeah yeah but
he's he does this as well well you're
lucky that's also quite a good thing she
was struggling to put him in a box
and then i said to her um you
seem to have all of the right ideas
but you don't seem to be doing the
right thing how come she said i think
it's my friends i said i think it's
your friends as well you have all the
right ideas but your friends are pushing you
to do the wrong things she said that
is exactly what my youngest daughter has been
saying to me on the day of judgment
when the wrongdoer will be seen biting his
hand out of regret saying oh i wish
i had taken a path with the prophet
oh how i wish that i had not
taken such and such as a friend he
turned me away from the remembrance after it
had come to me so for some people
on the day of judgment they will attribute
their downfall their misery their suffering on the
day of judgment to a deviant friend i
remember the word of al-qamah one of
the second generation muslims i arrived in asham
in greater syria and i entered the masjid
and i prayed and then instantly i made
a dua because he's a stranger in asham
oh allah almighty send me a righteous friend
send me a righteous friend i can sit
with he said then a an old man
came into the gathering so i sat next
to him i said to somebody who is
this they said that's abu darda the companion
of the prophet another one of the i
arrived in medina city of the prophet i
entered the masjid and i made a dua
oh allah guide me to a righteous friend
it's your priority if you are coming from
a different city to study here in kadif
young brothers your immediate priority is what a
righteous friend oh allah he said give me
a righteous friend this is he said so
a man came into the gathering and i
sat next to him what's your name he
said my name la ilaha illallah the companion
of the prophet and don't go on this
mad one about oh you know righteous friends
did they're so rare these days anyway where
am i going to find them it's not
like i'm in medina anyway where are they
they're not here no they're here in wales
they exist in kadif in kateys in this
masjid and other masajid they exist you know
what the issue is the issue is we
don't attract the righteous people into our lives
we present ourselves in a way where they
don't really want to be part of our
lives maybe you didn't make notice of this
it's like your social media feed what is
it going to feed you the content that
you engage in the algorithm is taking a
look even those videos that you slow down
never mind clicking it when you slow down
the pace slows down the algorithm connects right
you have some interest in this content so
it sends you more of it so you
can't blame social media blame yourself you attract
this content similarly if you say that righteous
people they're simply not coming my way i
don't know where they are just bouncing off
me think about how you are presenting yourself
think about the gatherings that you spend most
of your time in and then you will
find the issue why you're not attracting those
righteous people this can be changed that's number
one number six number seven of our ways
is to differentiate in gatherings between a joke
and mockery and this is another common slippery
slope you've heard the thing of uh why
are you getting upset bro it's just a
joke why are you deep in everything it's
just a joke what are you getting offended
can't take a joke well what is the
parameter of a joke mizah jokes in the
arabic language mizah is something that is supposed
to inspire you bring joy to hearts and
a smile make people happy ease some tension
if things are a little bit perhaps serious
in a conversation if however that begins to
cross over into the department of mockery embarrassment
and shaming even if the victim is smiling
you know because you don't want to come
across as weak then you've transitioned from mizah
joke to the to the world of mockery
and allah almighty has permitted jokes and he
has forbidden mockery he said let not a
people mock another people right even if you
see somebody smiling at your joke they could
be very much offended in their heart and
that's why one of the poets he says
well he
said there may be an eloquent person who
can speak very well but he restrains his
tongue because he's afraid of what he may
say and there may be somebody who smiles
to ease the tension of a his heart
is crying out in pain it's possible and
that's why they said to the prophet messenger
of allah we notice that you joke with
us notice that you joke with us there
wasn't all serious he said but i only
ever speak the truth have you ever heard
me lie have you heard my jokes become
excessive has he ever come at the expense
of any one of your honor he says
yes i only ever speak the truth that's
number one number seven number eight don't allow
in gatherings talents to go to waste this
is a key one before we conclude with
nine and ten you all remember how you
felt when you were set in a gathering
young or old and somebody had said something
that made you feel so small it stuck
with you for the rest of your life
i remember those moments and you also remember
those moments where somebody encouraged you to pursue
a particular path either through your material career
or islamic career and it boosted you into
the skies of self-esteem and confidence when
you're set in a gathering there are so
many opportunities and talents that have come together
but all they are waiting for is an
intelligent statement of encouragement and believe me off
they go don't allow those opportunities to go
to waste when you start with your children
your cousins your friends whoever they may be
you're sat in a gathering and you see
something that remotely resembles talent opportunity uh strength
passion channel it why don't you go get
a degree in that why don't you set
up an institute think about that as your
30-year vision why don't you do something
with that skill that you have abc how
many people in our islamic history launched into
the skies of productivity and effectiveness and leadership
and reformation because of an intelligent person like
yourself who said something about them even when
they were still children i remember by the
way this really is a quite an insignificant
example in light of what i will be
sharing with you with true examples of leadership
as a young kid i would be sat
on sofas with my feet barely touching the
ground i was maybe eight seven and there
would be my father's friends who've come to
visit him doctor so and so on professor
so and so on and he's looking at
me the whole time say something come on
you've got something to say you've got an
opinion here and sometimes i would sometimes i'd
get too afraid by the end of it
he said to me baba why didn't you
speak don't you know that you know more
than all of them seven year olds what
do i know he said you know more
more than all of them speak now i
can't stop speaking my wife says you love
the sound of your voice stop speaking give
us a break these things mean a lot
to us we're humans young child from the
tribe of najjar they present him to the
prophet and they say to a messenger of
allah this young man from our tribe has
memorized 17 surahs of the quran and so
zaid he recited some of it to the
prophet he was impressed what did he do
patted him on the back and gave him
a certificate told him to go home no
he said zaid i have a project for
you i want you to learn the language
of the jews for me he explained to
him why only
15 days passed and i had mastered their
language two weeks i had mastered their language
so i became the scribe of the prophet
when they would communicate with him and i
would write letters to the jews on behalf
of the prophet when he had something to
say i don't know who to be more
impressed with am i to be impressed with
the ability of zaid it's amazing or is
it an should we be impressed with the
ability of the prophet to identify talent to
see where his skill set needs to be
funneled that's what happens when you identify a
talent and you say something about what will
it cost you it cost you a statement
and imam muthahabi we have his books at
the back and for those who are unsure
the clue is that there are probably 15
volumes and no islamic library can be considered
a decent islamic library if it's missing the
books of imam the famous scholar of hadith
and the famous historian how did his story
begin he said i was a young child
and my teacher al-birzali he looked at
my handwriting and he said your handwriting resembles
the handwriting of the scholars of hadith he
said so allah almighty at that moment placed
in my heart the love of hadith and
his journey began and he became the great
imam what did that cost al-birzali and
what has he earned now inshallah if his
intention was sincere and imam al-bukhari has
a similar story he said we are sat
and he was 16 years old we were
sat with the teacher ishaq ibn rahawi and
imam ishaq he says hadith he said why
hasn't it occurred to any of you to
think about compiling a book of all of
the authentic hadith of the prophet he said
so allah almighty put it into my heart
i will be the one who will do
this he was 16 at the time and
he dedicated the next 16 years to achieving
this project by the time he reached the
age of 32 he he had completed it
we marvel at imam al-bukhari rahimahullah i
marvel at his teacher who spotted the talent
so do this my brother my sister it
will not cost you anything and one last
thing i remember a statement mentioned by badruddin
ibn al-jama'a take note of it
badruddin he says he said whenever
we the scholars used to see signs of
intelligence in any young man we would cast
our nets over him do you understand this
we would throw our nets over him figuratively
speaking and he would take him in so
we only let him go when he has
become a scholar so we need people like
this you're sat in a gathering someone sings
beyonce or bieber or whoever it may be
and it's an awful lyric but you know
what this person has a voice why don't
you think about doing adhan do that be
generous with your kalam even if you're not
too convinced by the way just say it
say it's not going to convince you anything
it's not going to cost you anything say
it praise send out encouragement you don't know
what allah almighty will allow to happen through
your words of encouragement that's number eight number
eight number nine very quickly a few do's
and don'ts in these gatherings first of all
sometimes we get comfortable when we're sat with
family or immediate friends and we position ourselves
in ways where our awrah parts of our
body that should be covered becomes slightly uncovered
like for example the thigh yeah that should
be covered and that's why jorhud al-aslami
he said that the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam walked past me and part of my
thigh was uncovered and he said to me
cover your thigh because the thigh is a
private part right that's one quick do or
don't the other thing is if there are
two who are speaking one is older than
the other precedence in principle should be given
to the older and that's why when two
brothers came to the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam to speak to him and then the
younger one started to speak he said to
him let the let your older brother speak
first let your older brother speak first another
one of the do's and don'ts is if
you come into a uh a gathering don't
separate between two who are sat next to
one another except with their permission don't separate
between two and sit between them right only
if they have given what permission another one
of the do's and don'ts is don't speak
in a language or in a tone that
is imperceptible to one of three people so
there is a gathering of three two of
them are not allowed to whisper or by
extension speaking in other language when the third
is unable to hear or understand our
prophet he said if three people sit in
a gathering then two of them should not
engage in secret conversation without the third being
able to hear only if he has given
permission look at the elegance and the class
of our religion huh only if he has
given permission why because this upsets him that
will upset him what an elegant religion allahu
akbar also one of the adab one of
the mannerisms under this heading number nine is
when you come into a gathering don't ask
someone to get up from their seat for
you to sit in its place right somebody
gets up for you ideally you should let
them to sit back where they were sat
and you find somewhere else to sit just
sit in the nearest place that becomes available
these are several do's and don'ts and i
will conclude therefore with the tenth and that
is a concluding dua when you finish a
gathering there is a dua that is required
of you i'm sure you've been in a
situation before where you've sat with a people
when you've spoken about things that were not
ideal to say the least and you feel
the grime of it in your heart have
you been in those gatherings before you come
out feeling very different to how you feel
walking out of the masjid this evening heart
feels heavy soul feels burdened the gaze wasn't
lowered bad language was used excessive joking was
employed so on and so forth there is
a way to erase all of the sins
that you may have incurred in that gathering
and that is the hadith of the prophet
sallallahu alayhi wasallam where he said that any
people who sit in a gathering any
person who sits in a gathering and a
lot of inappropriate talk had happened within it
and then they say the following words glory
be to you oh allah i praise you
i testify that none has the right to
be worshipped but you i ask you for
your forgiveness and i turn in repentance he
said allah will erase all of the sins
that may have happened in that gathering so
imagine in the gatherings of the prophet alayhi
salatu wasalam those gatherings of iman and salah
and taqwa and jihad and planning for the
religion and quran and deen and angels and
jibreel he says even our gatherings need it
so what about our gatherings memorize this and
our mother aisha she said he would say
this dua after he finishes salah after he
finishes the recitation of quran and after he
gets up from any gathering take note of
those three so with this said repeat it
so with this said alhamdulillah we can conclude
and we hope with these 10 ways and
mannerisms these gatherings of ours that we engage
in tens of times a day can become
a means of our growth connection with allah
almighty as opposed to them becoming gathering of
rejection of rejection and regret on yom al
-qiyamah we will pause here inshallah next week
we will have another session where most likely
we will be speaking about our ways in
making decisions in our ways in making decisions
if there is something you are struggling with
between one potential spouse or the other or
one job or the other one opportunity in
life or the other there is a series
of ways that we can take to ensure
that we have made the right decision inshallah
that will be next week