Ali Albarghouthi – This is Love #25 & #26 Love Others For Allah to Love You & The More You Do, the More Allah Loves You

Ali Albarghouthi
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The importance of sharing Hadiths and treating others with mercy and forgiveness is emphasized in Islam, as it is essential for healthy personal development and achieving happiness. The worship of Jesus as a god and finding one's love for someone to increase one's love for him and avoid embarrassment is emphasized, particularly for oneself and others. It is also crucial to practice patience and live a healthy life, and individuals are urged to acknowledge and embracing their limitations.

AI: Summary ©

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			lowered hamdu lillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah who Allah Allah He was so happy he was salam.
		
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			Alaikum alumna million pharaoh now and founder of Yuma I limped in ours in Iman autobill al Amin, la
mine Allah decree kava Shoukry, kava house near a bed attic,
		
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			and my bad.
		
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			So in sha Allah today we will try and I say we will try in sha Allah to do two Hadith today, which
is Hadith 25 and Hadith 26. Inshallah, we'll see how it goes. And the reason is because they are
very close to each other
		
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			in terms of what they teach, so I thought maybe we could combine them. But if you're someone who is
watching this later on not live and you're someone who's
		
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			reading the book while listening to the lectures, or this is part of a study group, you don't have
to combine these two Hadith, right? You can simply study
		
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			each Hadith separately. So one per day one per week, as you seem fit. So it's not a recommendation
necessarily that you should do both of them together. Is just
		
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			convenience right? For our purposes here.
		
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			So Hadith 25.
		
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			Also Allah is Allah wa salam said in Allah azza wa jal Leia cool so this is Hadith that is good to
see.
		
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			Allah azza wa jal is saying,
		
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			but haircut Maha Bataillon, Lydia nya to have boon I mean, Edgerly he says My love is confirmed for
those who love each other for my sake.
		
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			Will have got my habit 11 Medina, Yatra Sofo when I'm in Italy, and my love is confirmed for those
who cleanse their feelings or their love, from any impurities, so when they love each other, they
cleanse it. So it's Safi, it's pure. They cleanse their feelings and love for each other from any
contamination and impurity. Well, how about Mahabharata Ladino yet is our own I mean originally, and
my love is confirmed for those who visit each other for my sake, will have got Mahabharata. Lila
Deena Atiba Luna I mean, actually, and my love is confirmed for those who love each other for my
sake, will have got Mahabharata Lila Medina, Uttanasana min agilely and my love is confirmed for
		
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			those who champion each other for my sake. So they love each other but they're also Elise list of
things that they do for each other.
		
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			They do it for Allah azza wa jal, and for that they deserve Allah's love.
		
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			So this hadith establishes that reciprocal divine law,
		
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			that is as you do, Allah azza wa jal will do to you, as you are Allah azza wa jal will reward you or
will punish you. And you see this in that hadith Okay, so because they love each other for Allah
sake Allah loves them
		
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			and because they give each other and visit each other for Allah sake Allah loves them so because
they love each other Allah azza wa jal loves them.
		
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			So we've seen also in other panels I add in other a hadith so Allah azza wa jal for instance said
well yeah for all years for who loved them pardon an overlook well yeah for all yes for Whoa, what
is the motivation? Allah to hit buena a year fear Allahu Allah come? Don't you love Wouldn't you
like Allah to forgive you? That is this is how Allah azza wa jal motivates those who want to
forgive. But maybe there are obstacles standing between them and that forgiveness. Allah said, Let
them pardon and let them overlook let them forgive. Why don't What do you wouldn't you like Allah to
forgive you? Meaning if you forgive Allah does what to you? He forgives you. So that's that
		
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			reciprocal
		
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			treatment. And also the Prophet sallahu wa salam said or him Oh, no, you're humble Homer Raha man.
Those who are merciful will receive mercy from the merciful, it humble man fill out of their humko
Memphis and be merciful with those on earth. And the one in the heavens in the sky above his throne,
he will be merciful with you. So if you show mercy
		
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			and deal with mercy, Allah azza wa jal shows you a
		
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			mercy.
		
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			So one way of receiving mercy and forgiveness from Allah azza wa jal is to treat the servants of
Allah, the creation of Allah azza wa jal with forgiveness and mercy. And the opposite by the way is
true. If you so if you show harshness, cruelty, if you punish Allah's creation, what happens to you?
		
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			Allah Azza deals with you in the
		
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			Same way, okay. And if the Prophet sallahu wa salam said in a hadith the meaning of which Uriah
Allah if somebody assumes the leadership of my ummah and he is kind and gentle with them, be kind
and gentle with them and if he assumes the leadership of my ummah, which by say basically includes
any type of leadership from the very top leader, all the way down to anyone who has power, and he
says if he assumes leadership in my ummah and he's hard on them, for Shaka la him.
		
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			He's hard on them fishable Collie be hard with them.
		
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			They understand, if you are hard with people on him, then Allah azza wa jal is supposed to do the
same. That's the dua of the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam so that to be a deterrent, as you are
treating Allah as though did will treat you.
		
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			So, here if we want Allah's love, according to this hadith, then you have to love people for the
sake of Allah azza wa jal and give them for the sake of Allah and visit them for the sake of Allah
and all these acts are
		
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			inspired by Allah's love and inspired by loving them for the sake of Allah azza wa jal and why. And
maybe we have said this before, why is it that those who love for the sake of Allah zodion Why is it
that they receive such an honor from Allah, they receive His love, which is the greatest thing that
Allah is due to this is promising you are here you can receive the greatest thing from me, which is
my love, if they you will love another for the sake of Allah. But why did I if I love others for the
sake of Allah Azza did why did I receive or deserve that honor, because you cannot love another for
the sake of Allah zoodle Until you purify your heart from worldly attractions, and you simply love
		
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			for His sake, which means that you will have Allah azza wa jal. So you have this person and you
don't really after money that they will give you you're not after fame, you're not after
		
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			support of some sort. Nothing from the dunya.
		
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			What then motivates a heart like that to move but not for the sake of the dunya? Is if you think
about it, think about us. What moves us
		
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			what 90% of the time, it's the dunya I'm hungry, I'll eat, I'm thirsty. I'll drink. This is nice,
I'll buy it. This is beneficial, but it's really about worldly benefit benefit. What moves us is the
dunya. So if the dunya moves us, what makes us love and hate. It's the dunya
		
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			that's not the airfield.
		
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			So if a person manages to love for Allah sake, that means that their heart is not primarily
attracted to the dunya. But to Allah azza wa jal. That's why he's able to love for the sake of
Allah. So the heart is clean. So when you clean your heart from
		
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			worldly distractions, let's call them worldly impurities. And Allah azza wa jal is the prime major
focus. I don't say it's the only focus, but the prime and major focus, Allah azza wa jal gives you
the best, or enables you to do the best of deeds. And you will do things that will elevate you. And
there's a hadith and you may know this hadith. It's any reported by Muslim Rahim Allah.
		
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			He said that sort of lifestyle and sallam said that once a man wanted to visit a brother of his who
was in another village or town, so Allah sent him an angel to meet him on his way.
		
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			And the angel asked him, he says, Where are you going? And he said, What do you do and if he had the
hill, Korea, he says, I want to visit a brother of mine in this city or village. How the Halacha
Allah him in namah Tinto booga.
		
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			It says this motivated by a worldly
		
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			advantage. NEMA Is there a NEMA that you want to increase by visiting him? Do you owe him something?
Does he owe you something? That is what is between you? Is it dunya and that visit is supposed to
increase that dunya so worldly benefit. He said No, hey, Allah and Nia back to who Villa here as Oh
Did he says no, except that I love Him for allah sake. So the angel said, then I am the messenger of
Allah to you to tell you that Allah had loved you or that Allah loves you as you love him.
		
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			I am the messenger of Allah to you to tell you that Allah loves you, as you love him. So imagine
here that Allah azza wa jal had sent to this man who was purely motivated, not buy anything but the
love for that man, Allah that loving for Allah sake, sent an angel
		
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			to ask him
		
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			and
		
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			To give him the good news that Allah loves you.
		
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			And it may seem that the action that he did was a minor action he just traveled. But if you imagine
the travel then unlike travel today was very difficult, very dangerous. The Journey requires a lot
of effort and sacrifice. A lot of time may have been spent on that journey. And it's only for Allah
sake.
		
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			Right? Only for Allah sake. Then he is actually sacrificing for Allah azza wa jal. And so that's
what the question is, is it because of a dunya? He says no, because that's what typically moves
people. He says, No, it's because of Allah I love Him for allah sake is Allah azza wa jal then loves
you. So,
		
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			when Allah azza wa jal when Allah's love
		
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			is so entrenched is so natural, no one has to push you to do this. Because no one right pushed him
to do this, no one has to push you to do this. No one has to push you to be kind. No one has to push
you to remember to call that person or to worry about them. Nobody reminds you to love yourself.
		
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			You may say to someone take care of yourself. But you're not telling him that because he forgets
himself is just he doesn't know how.
		
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			But no one forgets to take care of themselves because you're, you love yourself. So that's natural
to you. So if the love of Allah azza wa jal is a natural love, it will push you to do all of these
things without a reminder. And these things would be the easiest of things to do, and the most
beloved of things to do because they come back to feed the love of Allah azza wa jal, like if you're
cooking a meal for someone that you love, and you are conscious at that moment, that you're doing it
for someone that you love, the meal preparation, and the cooking is an act of love in itself, right?
So you feel it.
		
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			And there is joy in doing it. Right? There's joy in doing it, if you remember. So if that's the
case, no one has to push you and say, do this.
		
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			So if you love Allah as Odin, all the actions that Allah asks us to do become naturally Beloved to
us, and all the people who are loved by Allah and who love Allah azza wa jal become our people
immediately. And all the people who are distant from Allah or who oppose him, Subhana Allah to Allah
don't are not are distant from us, even if they are relatives and that is because Allah azza wa jal
is the here is the focus Allah azza wa jal is the test. What brings you closest to him is beloved to
you. And what is not is a waste of time. And of course,
		
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			that type of love,
		
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			and any love any emotion has to be tested. Right?
		
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			You can't have such a gift and have the shaytaan not tried to ruin it.
		
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			You can have Iman and the shaytaan not attack you. So it means that if you have a man, you have to
defend it right.
		
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			And if you commit a mistake, you have to ask Allah for forgiveness.
		
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			And you have to refocus
		
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			on what pleases Allah if you forget. So that's the challenge of having Iman, you just, you don't
just simply have it and you're done. As you have it, you could lose it as it goes up, it must go
down. So that means that you need to protect it. So if you're loving for Allah sake, you also need
to protect that love from the Shavon and from yourself.
		
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			The shaitaan will attack it will try to spoil that love. And you yourself may commit mistakes and
when you commit these mistakes, you have to be quick to ask for forgiveness and admit that you've
made a mistake. So that love also needs protection. And abou de la Vega now himolla He said again,
and this is kind of add up. But we also want to emphasize emphasize this other in light of loving
Allah subhanho wa Taala so it says either Bulava can ileka che che you own taco
		
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			Feltham is the whole of the raja haddock for indem tagit la Rudra FOLFIRINOX seeker Laleli Aruna
Alonso, he said, If news reaches you about your brother that displease you, so maybe he doesn't
explain that's my clarification. Maybe they say he said something about you.
		
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			He said something against you. Or he did something independent of us not related, but he did
something wrong. So news that I've reached you about him, that displeases you. So he said, filter
miss the whole era gehad that try your best to find and
		
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			excuse for him to try your best to find an excuse for him. But if you cannot find an excuse, then
say to yourself, maybe my brother has an excuse that I do not know.
		
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			That beyond my comprehension, beyond my awareness is if you want to be a good brother or a good
sister, if you want to carry that name, then you have to assume the best about this person. And
forgive him when he makes a mistake. And when you hear something about him, don't rush and believe
it. And if it actually is confirmed, they say you say he might have an excuse.
		
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			Wait till I hear him out. We wait until he explains. Maybe there is another side. Maybe he was
angry. Maybe it was not reported right? Maybe he meant something different. Maybe and maybe and as
long as there is a maybe you give him the benefit of the doubt.
		
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			And you don't cut that friendship kill that love, which is supposed to be for the sake of Allah azza
wa jal. You don't do it simply because you feel angry or you feel wrong. That's the difference
between loving for the sake of Allah azza wa jal and following your own emotions, following your own
emotions you do whatever you want loving for the sake of Allah supersedes your emotions, you will
say it doesn't matter what I feel, what matters is this, this brother has rights on me. He has
rights on me and I have to observe these rights regardless of what I feel right? And there is a
		
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			lesson
		
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			for him Allah He said me know, Allah, He for Allah, may You believe some of him and you hate. He
said the believer is not unjust with those whom he hates.
		
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			And he is not driven to sin because of those whom he loves.
		
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			The believer as a believer, meaning if you hate someone, you're not unjust with them.
		
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			And if you love someone, you don't sin because of them.
		
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			To see how the believer isn't in the middle, he's not swayed by their by their emotion. Because
there's something higher than that. versus somebody who if they hate someone, and we're going to
come to that later, if they hate someone they hate all the way. And if they love someone they love
all the way. And if they hate someone, all the
		
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			sins of the world are in Him. And if they love someone, he's a saint.
		
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			And he's telling you here about a balance, which is you hate someone you don't transgress Allah's
bounds.
		
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			You don't commit to haram just because you hate him. No, you're you're you're restrained. You're
restrained. You can commit, whatever you would live here like and if you are in love with someone
who would love someone, that love doesn't push you to commit a sin. And you know why? Because
there's someone that you love who's higher than that, which is Allah as a soldier.
		
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			Because obviously, if you love someone, if you really, really really love someone, they can force
you to sin.
		
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			Right? You'll do it just to make them happy. But if you love Allah azza wa jal more that would not
be possible.
		
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			So, what love means?
		
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			Love is not a claim. It's not something that you say, Oh, I love so and so. I love for the sake of
Allah azza wa jal. But I say love is a state of deep commitment.
		
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			Right? When you say I love for the sake of Allah azza wa jal, you're declaring that you love Allah
and you're declaring that I love only for his sake, I love this person for his sake. And that means
that actions must follow. positions must be taken, other positions must be avoided. It's not just I
love and it ends up there. So it's a moral and physical support to the Beloved, based on your
advice, your best wishes, and if you see them commit a mistake, if you see them straying away from
Allah Xeljanz, sadness, sadness for their state, and eagerness to put them back opposite the feeling
of those who when they see somebody commit a mistake, they gloat and they're happy.
		
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			Because they feel that if somebody does that, then I'm superior to them, I'm better than them. They
fallen and I'm better.
		
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			But that is not indicative of any love for Allah sake, nor even of love for Allah.
		
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			And if somebody is righteous, and they lose their footing, and they commit a mistake and you're
happy.
		
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			So when Why is the happy and what what why does that bring you happiness?
		
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			Okay, if this is upsetting to Allah, it should be upsetting to you.
		
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			And you should be sad because they slipped, not happy and
		
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			because now the Muslim ranks have weakened because somebody had fallen.
		
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			Right?
		
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			So you're supposed to I want everybody to be in Jannah and everybody to be obedient to Allah azza wa
jal and everybody to be free of sin and to be sad when somebody is sinning. That is a heart that
loves Allah subhanho wa taala.
		
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			So
		
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			just as an example of somebody taking care
		
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			of those whom he loves, is as follows and follows is from the tabby in Rahim Allah, call it aka moto
Soon Allah raffia kala humare then had the firt the whole hedge, his thought was to care of his sick
friend until he missed Hajj.
		
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			That is, and we don't assume that that is the obligatory hedge. But that was we understand then
wanted to make hedge wanted to go on hedge had that it's that's the intention,
		
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			a friend of his a brother of his gods sick.
		
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			So he kept taking care of him to get taken care of him kept taking care of him until he missed Hajj.
		
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			And now you may say to yourself, Well, did he sacrifice the greater good?
		
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			Which is had or was taking care of his brother better?
		
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			Is taking care of his brothers better. But who can do this? Like even today, right? Would you miss?
Would you miss out something like that hygiene O'Meara, right? Independent of the obligation, we're
not talking about that, just simply to take care of another brother or sister.
		
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			But you won't be able to do this until you love them as much as you love yourself until you care for
them. And as much as you care for yourself until you really feel for them.
		
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			Then only would that be possible. And again, you're not waiting for anything. You're not saying to
yourself, oh, so that in case I get sick later, he can take care of me you have no idea if they will
do that. Maybe they will not even pick up the phone. So what will you not do it? Because if you're
doing it for Allah Zoda that doesn't matter what they will give you in the future. But if you're
doing it for Allah, then at that moment, it's for Allah and when it's done, you throw it in the sea.
		
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			You don't even remember that you've done that. That's the important thing. You throw it away in the
sea.
		
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			That's it. I didn't do a thing. Allah did this to you. Even if he comes Thank you, thanking you I
didn't do a thing Allah Azza didn't enabled me to do this. Because your reward is with Allah azza wa
jal, your reward is not with anybody else.
		
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			And
		
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			kind of connected to this. There's a proverb that says a hookah Masada cannot see her. He says Your
brother is the one who gives you sincere advice.
		
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			And we can easily rephrase it to say the one who loves you is the one who gives you sincere advice.
The one who is dear to you, or should be dear to you, the one who gives you sincere advice, not the
one who flatters you all the time. Even though they know what they're doing is wrong.
		
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			That person sees your mistakes. The tragedies you commit, and still they flatter you, then they're
not interested in your safety, and your well being. But a person sees you making a mistake. And he
comes or she comes in the best of ways.
		
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			very compassionate, leave very kindly and they say you've done something wrong. That is your
brother.
		
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			That is your sister. That's one who cares about you. So as difficult as it is to hear criticism
isn't too difficult to be criticized. Isn't it difficult to hear that you are wrong and to be
corrected? Who likes it?
		
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			No one. But if you understand the benefit of that criticism, even you know, despite how it was
presented to you, but the benefit of that criticism, if it's actually sound, you'll appreciate the
one who's giving you that advice, because that person is saving you.
		
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			If he tells you this is haram don't do it. And it's actually true. He's saving you.
		
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			And he should be thanked for it.
		
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			So that's why sometimes your enemies, sometimes your enemies are more beneficial than your friends.
Because your friends will look the other way because they don't want to upset you. They don't want
to lose the friendship. Your enemies have nothing to lose. They they'll tell you to your face. You
do this, this this because sometimes your enemies will be more upfront and honest. So anyway,
whatever advice comes to you, it's important to actually first to receive it in the spirit of an
advice and to exclude the person whoever had said it said it, how they've said it. erase them, like
take an eraser, a magic eraser, just read them.
		
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			And just think about the thing that was said to you. And if it's good, take it.
		
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			Don't be so stubborn. Okay, just because somebody or he said
		
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			that I won't follow. No, take it. And also in the same way you'll be the person who gives advice
when people need that advice in the best of ways.
		
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			So
		
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			and that again it comes at it how will you be able to give advice and risk someone's anger and
friendship is because you trust Allah has served and more than you trust. What is here? What is in
between creation? That is if I'm doing it for Allah sake and as again you're doing your best to
deliver it in the most acceptable fashions. But if you trust Allah azza wa jal and I'm doing it for
Allah sake this advice needs to be given and when that person is angry, right unrightfully then they
are angry but at this point you've done your job to him towards him. And also Allah's
		
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			love for Allah sake right is of the best of deeds. I'm not gonna give you in sha Allah a couple of
stories to demonstrate a one story actually to demonstrate this
		
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			so a Muslim girl hola Annie and he's a tabby.
		
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			He said to me, I have no devil. For the Allahu Anhu he says will lie in Nila or hippo, Kelly Reilly,
dunya origin, origin or Jew and we'll see the Hammond koala Kurata Vainio Vayner so he said to more
than wa there's also Harvey and he is a tabby. He says by Allah I love you. Not for the sake of a
dunya that I'm gonna get from you. Nor because of kinship that is between me and you. So what I've
said then for what do you love me? He said Lila, okay. I will Muslim he said I love you for Allah. I
love her bye Karlova herb worth he said he helped me by by my clothes and pulled me to him. And he
said ABSHER in Quinta sidefx car, he says expect the best if you are honest. I heard the messenger
		
00:27:00 --> 00:27:31
			Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam say and with the hub una Villa Havilah Leela Rishi, yo lovey,
lovey, lovey, Lo, he has a bit of homebrew McKenney, he may not be you know, a Shahada. He says
those who love each other for my sake, will be under the the shade of the throne on the day when
there will be no shade, except the shade that Allah provides. He says, and the prophets and the
martyrs will admire and wish for the station of those people when they see them.
		
00:27:32 --> 00:27:45
			That is any prophet passing by and he sees them any modern passing by and he sees them. He says they
will admire yes but meaning you admire and you wish for that for yourself. Not envy but wish the
same for yourself.
		
00:27:47 --> 00:28:25
			So it's amazing Subhan Allah that this is the statement from the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam. He
says this is a reason for you to be elevated and shaded on the Day of Judgment because you've loved
another for Allah as xojo Such a high station. So Abu Muslim he said I went I got out and I came to
Oba W summit and they gave him the hadith of Ma they told him this is what behind little the Allahu
Anhu said about the prophets Allahu wa salam. Then Oba Ignace Ahmed said, and I heard from a prophet
Alayhi Salatu was Salam said Indeed my love is confirmed for those who love each other for my sake,
the Hadith of the chapter.
		
00:28:26 --> 00:28:37
			So, if you want Allah azza wa jal to elevate you worship I mean worship Allah through love, meaning
love Allah and love for the sake of Allah azza wa jal and heat for the sake of Allah has
		
00:28:39 --> 00:29:16
			another Hadith also that confirms that is when the Prophet sallallahu Sallam he said about the seven
who will be shaded on the day of judgment in the shade that Allah will provide when there is no
other shade except that for the Colombian home, he mentioned, what are Giuliani to have Biophilia?
He stoma? Allah He would have Baraka Ali, two men who love each other for the sake of Allah azza wa
jal, they're reunited because of their love and when they're separated, they're separated with that
love. So it's this love that brings them together and it's this love that continues between them
even when they separate. So that is a cause for Allah azza wa jal to shade you on the Day of
		
00:29:16 --> 00:29:16
			Judgment.
		
00:29:18 --> 00:29:41
			And here Subhan Allah, again, what that means is that when you say to someone or when you feel or
you want to assume that position, love for the sake of Allah azza wa jal, there are obligations
responsibilities that follow that. The ones that we talked about your love for them, what you love
for yourself, you wish for them what you wish for yourself, what saddens them sad and see what makes
them happy makes you happy.
		
00:29:42 --> 00:29:59
			You think of them as you and you as them. If there is benefit that you bring to yourself, you want
to bring it to them. If you learn something, you want to also share it with them. If there is advice
you would give that advice if there is anything that brings them closer to Allah as you will bring
that
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:00
			to them
		
00:30:01 --> 00:30:18
			and you will even make do out for them. Right? Like, no humble right? Rahim Allah. He said to the
child to the son of a Shafi Allahu Allah. He said your father is among a group of people that I make
dua for them every single day.
		
00:30:19 --> 00:30:33
			Lucky he has, you have a list of people that you're so close to that every single day I will make up
for them. That is the brotherhood that we talk about or the sisterhood that we want to talk about.
		
00:30:34 --> 00:30:38
			So, a couple of things that kind of emphasize this.
		
00:30:39 --> 00:31:08
			So Sofia, uh, you know, he says I heard Musa and what rock said. He says, Yeah, Khalifa Willa. He
has his odd swearing by Allah azza wa jal, he says, I would not deny a man or I would not say to a
man I love you for the sake of Allah and deny him anything from this world. Because if I were to say
to someone, I love you, for Allah sake, I will not stop him taking anything from the dunya that I
have, if he wants it from me.
		
00:31:10 --> 00:31:13
			And again, you as you may ask yourself is how is that possible?
		
00:31:14 --> 00:31:15
			We you know how much we love the dunya
		
00:31:17 --> 00:31:22
			right? So how is it that if that person wants anything from the dunya from you, you would not stop
him?
		
00:31:23 --> 00:31:44
			Because you love her more? Allah xojo you love Allah more, right? And so you said I love you for
Allah sake. Now you've elevated him above the dunya you put this brother above the dunya dunya is
beneath you. So this one whom you love for Allah sake one some of the dunya you wouldn't deny him
the dunya because he's higher than that.
		
00:31:46 --> 00:32:05
			Like, would you say to your mother, okay, if you love your mother, which is assume you love your
mother, you would say, you could take everything in this house except the most precious and the
most, the best things I have. The best food is not for you, but take anything else. You wouldn't say
that to your mother, you would say what everything in my house is yours. Right?
		
00:32:06 --> 00:32:23
			To father everything that I own is yours. If you love someone, everything that I have is yours,
right? That's what it is. You say I love you for Allah sake. And then you keep the dunya to yourself
is that they don't really love him for your Allah sake. That is the love we were talking about. That
is that intensity. I really love you for Allah sake.
		
00:32:25 --> 00:32:33
			It's not a word that you throw around. There is a commitment to it. There's a deep commitment to it.
I was alive not only to he said.
		
00:32:35 --> 00:33:03
			Pilot in Abuja for Muhammad Ali. He said, you had to come here the whole fuel missile heavy highway,
oh my God. He says Would one of you put his hand in his brother's sleeve? You know what the sleeve
because they used to keep their money in their sleeve. So it could be pocket with one of you take
his hand and put it in his brother's pocket and take whatever he wants from it. They said no, he
said the new unit brothers as you claim
		
00:33:06 --> 00:33:08
			that you're not really brothers as you claim.
		
00:33:09 --> 00:33:11
			Meaning meaning meaning what meaning you don't ask him.
		
00:33:13 --> 00:33:15
			Think about your own actual blood brother.
		
00:33:16 --> 00:33:30
			Or your or your own wife or your own child. Father, can I eat this chips? No, he just opens the
cupboard. Right? It goes in opens the cupboard eat said because it's it's his is his. He doesn't
take permission.
		
00:33:31 --> 00:33:34
			So that's kind of that's the how familiar
		
00:33:36 --> 00:33:59
			that relationship is. So he says if you tell to tell a person I love you, or you are my brother, it
needs to be that familiar? Meaning that I'm not going to ask you, can you give me this Please, can I
give me there is no permission anymore between you and him. He simply just stake as he just stakes.
That's the level of confidence. That's the level of love.
		
00:34:00 --> 00:34:41
			But that's something to aspire to. That's something to push for. That. If you want to say to person,
a brother and a sister feel the weight of that word. And if you definitely want to say I love you
for the sake of Allah azza wa jal realize that it has to mean something, that I will do everything
in my power to help you everything in my power to save you. everything in my power not to believe
the worst things about you when I hear them not to suspect you, when the shaytaan tries to introduce
suspicion into my head, not to simply say, Oh, he didn't call me so I'm just going to stop calling
him not to destroy that love and that friendship and that brotherhood at the first sign of trouble.
		
00:34:42 --> 00:34:55
			To be humble enough that when you commit a mistake, you say I made a mistake. Sorry, forgive me
because you want to maintain that love. If that is the basis of that love, then it will prosper it
will continue.
		
00:34:58 --> 00:34:59
			So let me move
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:03
			So maybe we will have a little bit of time in sha Allah to spend on Hadith
		
00:35:04 --> 00:35:07
			26 In sha Allah
		
00:35:09 --> 00:35:22
			and Hadith 26 Kind of in the same spirit of this hadith that we just finished. So Allah is Allah
Allah wa salam said Martha Harbeth nanny Fila he Illa can of Allah Houma Asha, do Houma. Hubballi
Sahibi
		
00:35:23 --> 00:35:36
			he says, If to know to love each other for the sake of Allah zoton Except that the best of the two
is the one who loves their companion more. No two people who love each other for the sake of Allah
azza wa jal
		
00:35:37 --> 00:35:51
			the best of the two is who the one who loves the other the more more because both of them love each
other for Allah sake right he loves it for Allah sake he alumna Allah say, Who's Who's better of the
two. He says if you love your companion more, you're better.
		
00:35:53 --> 00:36:14
			And why is it that when you love your companion more, you're better because that means that you obey
Allah better because that love is a bad deal by the way, loving for Allah sake that love it itself
those emotions are a bad so you love them more. So you're better at that a bad and it also means
that you love Allah azza wa jal more, that's why you're able to produce more love.
		
00:36:16 --> 00:36:21
			Now, something interesting first about Allah's love himself
		
00:36:22 --> 00:36:32
			is that Allah's love has no end to it and has no limit. Right? Just as Allah's worship has no end to
it, there's no limit.
		
00:36:33 --> 00:36:39
			So Allah azza wa jal, we could never say that we have loved him enough.
		
00:36:41 --> 00:36:45
			It's impossible. You could love a human being enough you could over love them.
		
00:36:46 --> 00:36:53
			Right? Because they're finite. We're all finite. Allah azza wa jal, who is infinite in terms of no
beginning and no end.
		
00:36:55 --> 00:37:17
			And what he had given us, how he blessed us, is far beyond our comprehension and our ability to
thank and repay. So first of all, you will not be able to worship Allah azza wa jal sufficiently
even for a single NEMA, let alone all the other things that you know and you do not know that Allah
has given you or saved you from.
		
00:37:19 --> 00:37:21
			So even worship and Sandman in Pharisee,
		
00:37:23 --> 00:38:08
			Radi Allahu Anhu and this is a statement from him. But it has the status of a hadith, it's authentic
to him, but it has the status of a hadith. So he said, What are the Allahu Anhu he said, the MISA on
the scale will be set up on the day of judgment or will be set on the day of judgment. And if he
says, fellow wooziness, he is similar to a lot of blue lower, or lower SAT. It says, If you were to
put the heavens and the earth, on that scale, the scale would be enough for them. They will fit the
heavens all the heavens and the earth. Put them in that scale, the scale will take them. So the
angels in wonder, they will ask Allah as though did he says Who is this weighing and for whom he or
		
00:38:08 --> 00:38:18
			Allah, this grand creation? Can you imagine again, just try to imagine with me, all the universe
that you know, and that is unknown will fit in that scale.
		
00:38:19 --> 00:38:30
			So the angels now they see this of Allah's creation, and they're experiencing wonder, Is he Allah,
what will this way and for whom will this way and
		
00:38:31 --> 00:38:36
			so Allah azza wa jal says demand sheet to mean healthy from from whoever I wish for my creation.
		
00:38:38 --> 00:38:53
			So like their knowledge and their comprehension is you know, far less than what Allah knows. And so
that will live then they will say Subhana wa mahabubnagar Hakai by the attic, says, Glory be to You,
we did not worship you, as you deserve to be worshipped.
		
00:38:54 --> 00:39:42
			And then he will put a Sirat write that bridge, and it is as thin as a bleed. So the angels again
will look with wonder at that Syrah, there's a old pass on this, a blade, who will pass on this. So
Allah as it will say, whatever I wish from migration, so they will say Glory be to You, we did not
worship you, as you deserve to be worship. It's an interesting, you know, to hear that the angels of
Allah are saying this, the angels of Allah who don't stop worshiping Allah, from the time that they
were created, till then they don't stop. So how many years are we talking about here? 1000s millions
of years of constant daily worship. And they say we did not worship you enough. But because they
		
00:39:42 --> 00:39:54
			realize more and more of Allah's majesty then and Allah has power. So that's the AHA that they
experience when you see something you say, Wow, I did not really, you know, fully understand how
great you are.
		
00:39:56 --> 00:39:59
			I just saw like a little bit of it. Now. I don't really know
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:09
			Understand how great you are. It's beyond me. So that's the worship of Allah azza wa jal and this we
say to anybody who may feel that I've done so much for Allah.
		
00:40:10 --> 00:40:21
			I prayed, they gave money. I do a lot of dua, I sacrifice I give Dawa. Right? I did so much for
Allah. He says, No, whatever you have done is nothing.
		
00:40:22 --> 00:40:29
			You have to look at yourself like that whatever you've done is nothing. So this worship of Allah
azza wa jal has no end and no limit to it.
		
00:40:30 --> 00:41:09
			And love Allah Allah azza wa jal has no end and no limit to it, because you could continue to love
Allah till the end of your life and it would not be enough and you could live multiple times. And
that would not be enough. Because Allah azza wa jal, as we said, has no beginning as no end. And you
can keep getting loving Him more and more and more Subhana who were to Allah. So if new Tamia said
hello to Adam habit to hula, and he hated her, Allah's love has no end has no end, which tells you
Subhanallah that you can continue to grow that love and continue to get more and more from it. And
you can continue to enjoy it.
		
00:41:10 --> 00:41:12
			Because there is no end. Right?
		
00:41:13 --> 00:41:33
			And because it is stable, it will give you the greatest stability and the greatest comfort. If
somebody came complaining to another about a person whom he loved and he passed away. I love so and
so they passed away and they were very upset very angry, very sad.
		
00:41:35 --> 00:41:43
			So the man replied and he said Carla at them within Bukit hypothermia mood. He says it's your fault.
You loved some you loved somebody who dies.
		
00:41:47 --> 00:41:47
			Got it?
		
00:41:49 --> 00:42:18
			Right, it says you're so distraught that somebody died. And he came complaining and he says it's
your fault. You loved somebody who dies. You know, what did you expect when you love somebody who
dies that expect them never to die? That you would never lose them? That's what's going to happen to
them. So when you put all of that and you invested in somebody who dies, of course that's going to
devastate you, that's your fault. So if you want somebody who never dies, Allah azza wa jal love Him
		
00:42:19 --> 00:42:43
			and love others at a secondary level but love Allah azza wa jal, then as you're not going to be
devastated, okay. You'll be able to continue to move he'll supply you Subhanallah to Allah with that
patience. So loving Allah azza wa jal has no end and you'll keep getting getting more and more from
it. So every worldly love is doomed to end but Allah is love and that's what gives you safety.
		
00:42:45 --> 00:43:21
			And a way to increase your love for Allah azza wa jal is for you to love what he loves. Can it's
like a loop, right? Like a circle. You increase your love for Allah, you love what he loves more.
Push yourself to love what Allah loves more meaning you know, stay next to it, do more of it. Okay,
be next to them. Then you will love Allah more. So it's it's a loop that keeps feeding that love and
it's actually loving what Allah loves is a test. You want to know how much you love Allah. See how
much you love what Allah loves?
		
00:43:22 --> 00:43:32
			How much do you love the Quran? How much do you love the then how much do you love Dicker? Have you
how much do you love the righteous? How much do you love sin? How much do you love the sinful?
		
00:43:33 --> 00:43:57
			That will tell you how much or how close you are to Allah and how much you love him Subhanallah with
Allah so if you want to test your iman or predict your Eman consider how close and far you are from
what Allah azza wa jal loves. So this is how you want to grow it be closer to what Allah loves. And
that will increase with Nila as origin. And there is a definite mercy from Allah subhanho wa Taala
in linking
		
00:43:59 --> 00:44:02
			his love to what he loves to
		
00:44:03 --> 00:44:06
			write, there's definite mercy in it. I don't know if you can see it.
		
00:44:07 --> 00:44:12
			Because Allah azza wa jal could have said, let's see, could have said love me
		
00:44:13 --> 00:44:15
			better when it comes to people do whatever you want to them.
		
00:44:16 --> 00:44:22
			Right? Love me worship me. But when it comes to people, do whatever you want to them.
		
00:44:24 --> 00:44:26
			How would we live? What kind of life would we have?
		
00:44:27 --> 00:44:28
			You'd be killing each other.
		
00:44:30 --> 00:44:37
			Okay, there's no motivation. I want more of the dunya and that's independent of Allah so I'll just
kill you for it and then I'll go and pray.
		
00:44:38 --> 00:44:47
			I'll be good with him. But it doesn't matter what I do to you. Allah's Mercy is in fact no you
cannot get into gender like that. And you cannot have my love like that.
		
00:44:49 --> 00:44:59
			If you want to get into Janna, you have to be merciful with them and you have to love them. You have
to love them. So Allah loves you. You see how merciful Allah is kind of Allah has protected you like
there's a
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:10
			force field around you, kind of descends if you have email around you. That's the protection of
email and anyone who has email says, oh, no, can't touch them.
		
00:45:11 --> 00:45:15
			It can harm him. Allah may be angry with me can take their money
		
00:45:16 --> 00:45:37
			can hurt the reputation so Allah azza wa jal is protecting you with His love, that he clothed you
with His love, so that others don't who love them do anything to you. That is Allah's mercy. And
that in itself requires gratitude for Allah as so did of course so those who don't believe in Allah
azza wa jal to penetrate that feel
		
00:45:39 --> 00:45:48
			that shield but it is in the job of the faithful to do fend themselves and defend other faiths as
well. But if you believe in Allah as though there is that protection,
		
00:45:50 --> 00:46:09
			now loving for Allah azza wa jal makes you a better you a better human being. Because you're not
controlled by your own emotions. You're not controlled by your own desires, you know, anger,
sadness, happiness, it's not that somebody else is directing you and somebody else is putting this
love in your heart
		
00:46:10 --> 00:46:14
			and somebody else is guiding you and your behavior will be refined.
		
00:46:16 --> 00:46:35
			That is, as remember we just said when you love someone, for, for Allah, you will wish them the best
you will do the best to them, you will care for them like you care for yourself. There is no other
motivation that will push you to be such a good person as the love of Allah loves another like you
love yourself. What other creed
		
00:46:36 --> 00:47:07
			has this except the Creed, I'm talking about the sound creed what other sound creed has this except
one that is given by Allah has to love him as you love yourself, dealing with him as you deal with
yourself. It pushes you to be the best person that you can. So even if you have bad thoughts about
another you will stop them. Even if you're saying bad things about the other and he may never know
about them. You will stop them. You will be a better person. Because you love Allah azza wa jal and
because you love for the sake of Allah,
		
00:47:09 --> 00:47:13
			and there's also something kind of very insightful about that love.
		
00:47:15 --> 00:47:18
			Which is that sin destroys love.
		
00:47:20 --> 00:47:29
			If love if we understand that love is from Allah azza wa jal is maintained by him when you disobey
Him, that love diminishes.
		
00:47:31 --> 00:47:34
			So there's a Hadith from the Prophet Alayhi Salatu was Salam
		
00:47:35 --> 00:47:55
			that he said well enough so Muhammad in via the HEMA Dawa, the if nanny for full recovery, you know,
Huma Ellerbee, then when you're ready to do Homer, he says, I swear by the one who has by the one
who is Mohammed soul in his hand, no two people love each other. And then there is discord between
them except because of a sin that one of them has done.
		
00:47:56 --> 00:47:58
			So if there's love between them,
		
00:47:59 --> 00:48:08
			and they lose that love, because why why did they lose that love? He says, somebody committed a
crime committed a sin, they lost that love,
		
00:48:10 --> 00:48:13
			which tells you very something very significant about
		
00:48:15 --> 00:48:17
			a social conflicts and discord,
		
00:48:18 --> 00:48:27
			whether on a personal level or on a communal level. Again, what is what is the kind of that
connection? Love is from whom?
		
00:48:29 --> 00:48:38
			Allah azza wa jal and you cannot get something from ALLAH, if you disobey Him. You cannot have
something from ALLAH blessed if you disobey Him. So on the personal level,
		
00:48:40 --> 00:48:52
			if you want to fix your relationship with your spouse, okay, I'm saying this so that we don't have
to say this in therapy and in counseling, right? Just take this know it, spread it.
		
00:48:54 --> 00:49:02
			If you want to fix a relationship between you and your spouse, between you and your parents, between
you and your children, the first thing that you're supposed to do is what?
		
00:49:04 --> 00:49:05
			Obey Allah and stop sinning.
		
00:49:08 --> 00:49:08
			Okay.
		
00:49:10 --> 00:49:16
			If you want to fix relationships between you and your neighbor, it doesn't really matter who doesn't
really matter who.
		
00:49:17 --> 00:49:17
			But if you want,
		
00:49:19 --> 00:49:28
			love, compassion, if you want Allah to bring harmony, and there's lack of that, stop disobeying
Allah
		
00:49:30 --> 00:49:52
			and obey Allah more, free more, make a lot of dua make a lot of Dickert read more Quran, et cetera,
and keep at it, keep at it, keep at it until Allah azza wa jal restores the love that you guys have
and restores that harmony. But when if it's missing, then something is missing. And that thing is
what Allah did not bless, something got lost. So this is how you fix it.
		
00:49:53 --> 00:50:00
			Not only on a person level on a communal level on a societal level, when you see a society lacking
how
		
00:50:00 --> 00:50:04
			Are many people hate each other, suspect to each other.
		
00:50:06 --> 00:50:48
			Then there's sin among them. And you want to restore public order or social harmony, stop those sins
and come back to Allah azza wa jal, and then under the umbrella of Allah, everybody would be united.
But take that away, and the shaytaan will have a field day. sowing discord, sowing suspicion, I hate
him for his color or hate him for his gender, hate him for his money, hate him for his name for his
status, whatever. And if not, we'll make up a reason to hate people. There's no shortage of reason,
shortage of reasons to hate people, there's always right. He lives in this neighborhood, I live in
that neighborhood, let's save each other. You could do that. Right?
		
00:50:49 --> 00:50:54
			So it's the level of Allah as the agent that saves from this and it's the sin that chases away that
love.
		
00:50:56 --> 00:51:04
			So he said that, just going back to the Hadith, and then we there's a story and then we'll be done
in sha Allah, that
		
00:51:06 --> 00:51:19
			the better companion is more beloved to Allah azza wa jal because he loves him more, and he loves
him more because he loves Allah as more. And he does more to preserve that love and protected
meaning his humbler.
		
00:51:21 --> 00:52:05
			He rushes, to ask for forgiveness rushes to forgive. He does what Allah azza wa jal pleases, or what
pleases Allah as origin more so than the other, that makes him the better companion. So this you
could take as a prescription for all relationships that you have. If you say they did not call me so
I will not call the new, not the better of the two, until you become the person who calls first. I'm
not going to visit them because they don't visit me. You're not the better of the two, until you be
the person who visits first. If you say I will not forgive them, because they don't forgive me, then
you're not better, the better of the two until you forgive first. So you have to be and then you say
		
00:52:05 --> 00:52:43
			to yourself, you know is that? Isn't that humiliating? The person who always has to do this, but if
you're doing it for them, yeah, that's humiliating. If you're doing it through Allah azza wa jal.
That's never humiliating. Allah honors you, when you're humble. When you humble Allah honors you,
alright, as long as the other person is worth it, there are some times, people right who are not
worth that effort. And I'm not talking about the exception I'm talking about as long as there is
good in that person. And they are worth the effort. you humble yourself to Allah azza wa jal, and
you be the person who is the better of the two. Well, how you Romola the update will be cinema. The
		
00:52:43 --> 00:52:49
			best of the two is the one who begins with the Salaam. That's what he said, Ali he Salatu was Salam.
		
00:52:50 --> 00:53:14
			So loving Allah azza wa jal, and loving for his sake allows you to treat others better than you
treat yourself. And I love this story that that that follows. And that's on page 291 to 92. So,
Musab, he said, Uh, well, Mohamed will Marwa Z. He said he came to Baghdad, and he wanted mecca for
Hajj.
		
00:53:17 --> 00:53:41
			So he said, I wanted his companionship meaning I wanted to go with him to hedge, right and be his
companion. So I asked for his permission, can I be your companion? He did not grant that to me. So I
said that in the first year, the second year, and then the third year, the third year he came so he
denied him twice. The third year he came, gave him said I'm gonna he said,
		
00:53:42 --> 00:53:54
			I want to be your companion on that trip, you know, to hedge. He says, I will accept with the
condition with the firm condition that one of us will be the Emir and the other one does not disobey
Him.
		
00:53:56 --> 00:54:01
			Right, the other one does not disobey Him. So I said his Mousavi said you are the Emir.
		
00:54:03 --> 00:54:43
			So So Mohammed, he said, horrible, Mohammed, he says, No, you are the Emir. Then the other who is
younger, right? This is the person who wanted to be the companion. He said, No, you're older than me
and more worthy of me. So you'll be the Emir. Okay, so I want to be your companion. You will be the
emir, you're older than me. He says, Yes, I will be the emir, but you do not disobey me. I'd be the
emir, then you listen to me. He says, Yes, sir, for Horace Duma, who it says so I set out with him
we traveled together. When it's time to eat, he would favor me with his food. He would give me his
food favorite me with most of it or more, or all of it or the best of it? Or if I wanted to object
		
00:54:43 --> 00:54:59
			he said Did not I not ask you and make it a condition that you do not disobey me? He said, Yes. So
he says for Canada that guna Hatton had him to Allah Sabeti he says, he continued to do some things
like that, meaning he gives me things that are his
		
00:55:00 --> 00:55:39
			If I object he says you have to obey me because I am the Emir. He says he continued to do this until
I regretted asking him being to being his companion, because of the harm that he's bringing to
himself. And then he said, one of those nights there was heavy rain. And while we're walking, you
said, oh, boy, Mohammed, meaning this, this older, who is the emir, he says, there's a milepost over
there. Let's rush there. So he with us, we rushed to it. He says, he said, he said, Sit at the base
of this milepost. So he made me sit at the milepost. And he covered me with his body, he was wearing
a cloak. So he covered me with his body. So he protected me from the rain and the rain was falling
		
00:55:39 --> 00:55:54
			on his head and in his body. And he continued to do this until the rain went away. Until I wished
that it never went out with him, never asked him to be his companions, because this is how he
continued to behave until we came to Mecca.
		
00:55:55 --> 00:56:07
			So he was the emir, and he was older, but he was like a servant. Like if you hired a servant, he
wouldn't do a better job than this. Right? But he wasn't his servant. He was older
		
00:56:08 --> 00:56:10
			and well known.
		
00:56:11 --> 00:56:14
			And is this guy who's seeking his companionship but there is no pride.
		
00:56:16 --> 00:56:24
			There is no pride, he had raised all pride. And then you ask yourself, but why is he putting himself
through all of this trouble? What is he getting for it?
		
00:56:26 --> 00:57:10
			Through a reward from Allah azza wa jal, that's why he would rush to do it. And he'd be happy to do
it. Are you happy to do it and it's difficult and you're not eating as well? Because every minute
that I'm spending doing this, Allah rewards me, and I'm closer to Allah azza wa jal, then you enjoy
doing it, no one is forcing you. Whereas if he were to ask him, could you give me more of your food,
and the dunya was the primary focus they'll fight. This is how the love of Allah azza wa jal erases
the dunya and transform a person reimagines a person in a way that is unimaginable today. You say
this is fiction, for this to happen, fiction to be seen, but it's not impossible, it can happen. But
		
00:57:10 --> 00:57:12
			it's the love of Allah is devoted. That is the motivation.
		
00:57:13 --> 00:57:17
			So we'll stop here in sha Allah, and see if you have
		
00:57:18 --> 00:57:21
			anything you'd like to ask, let me know in the last
		
00:57:25 --> 00:57:25
			hour
		
00:57:33 --> 00:57:35
			I'll check if there's anything online.
		
00:57:47 --> 00:58:08
			So the question How do we give advice to those who have no life experience, not enough life
experience to understand what we're trying to explain? which require life experience to decipher?
You know, what are the tips? I mean, there's nothing miraculous here like how can you have a person
understand things that are difficult for them to understand?
		
00:58:10 --> 00:58:53
			Especially that they had not experienced enough of life for them to understand that, it you need
more of life? So it kind of it's, it's a dilemma. If they don't trust you to begin with, if they
don't trust your wisdom, like, why do we? Why do we consult the elders? And those who have more life
experience isn't because we trust their judgment, they've seen more of life that they could tell us
about it more so than we can tell. So if you don't trust someone with more life experience, how can
you convince them that your advice is worthy? So first of all there has we have to establish that
you need the counsel of others. Maybe maybe begin by explaining to them that you need the counsel of
		
00:58:53 --> 00:59:07
			others and you need the counsel of those who have greater experience have seen things that you
haven't have gone through the various the same thing that you're about to go through. If you can
establish that, then maybe that could help.
		
00:59:09 --> 00:59:13
			And again, maybe try to
		
00:59:14 --> 00:59:59
			I don't know sometimes hearing it from outsiders is easier. So employ the help of an outsider who
could give the same advice that you've given, but because you're so close, they're blind to it blind
and deaf to it. So employ somebody from the outside because there are no obstacles. Right? Whenever
there was obstacles, fam family relations, there are always obstacles. So employ somebody from the
outside who would be able to help. And again, maybe finally, I would say, try to use as many as much
evidence and reasons. It's not just simply if you do this, you'll regret it. Why would you regret
it? I've gone through this and I understand okay, but give them the reasons you
		
01:00:00 --> 01:00:20
			Give them the life experience. Give them what you went through how you how your mind has changed.
Try to make it as close to them as possible with as much evidence as possible. And then after all
that it's up to them because some would have to, they have to commit the same mistake in order for
them to realize what you're saying.
		
01:00:23 --> 01:00:26
			They don't think there's anything online or could be coming.
		
01:00:27 --> 01:00:29
			Anything on the other side, that
		
01:00:30 --> 01:00:31
			Oh, familia,
		
01:00:32 --> 01:00:33
			Polycom saran wrap
		
01:00:39 --> 01:00:40
			that mean we're not working
		
01:00:41 --> 01:00:44
			something like that. Like is your thing called
		
01:00:45 --> 01:00:46
			love is equal love?
		
01:00:47 --> 01:00:51
			The person has their fear, they don't. But But
		
01:00:53 --> 01:00:56
			I got I thought I heard that fear not worth it. Ah ha ha.
		
01:01:00 --> 01:01:01
			So
		
01:01:02 --> 01:01:05
			how do you determine if somebody is not worth it? Right?
		
01:01:06 --> 01:01:18
			Like, after you try and try and you keep trying, and you notice from their character from the flaws
that they have, that it is too difficult to change them.
		
01:01:20 --> 01:01:34
			There are some bad qualities for instance, the person who's always ungrateful, right, the person
always remembers your mistakes, but not your good deeds. There are things that you keep trying and
trying and trying, but there is such enough
		
01:01:37 --> 01:02:20
			lack of character, or flawed character, evil character in them that is just bringing you more harm
than good to keep trying. And there is you have diminished hope of changing them. Okay. So when
that's the case, they see, it's better that I invest my time and effort somewhere else. So there
will be people, right. I mean, we know there are people who believe in Allah and people and
disbelieve in Allah, people who, despite your best efforts will still disbelieve in Allah subhanho
wa taala. So if Allah deems it so that there will be people that have little good in them, if you
encounter them. And if you find out ultimately that there is little good in them, then you shouldn't
		
01:02:20 --> 01:02:37
			keep wasting your time on them. You will not know until you try. But there are some times with
again, maybe related to this story with more experience, you'll begin to know some of the signs and
some of these characters that you need to avoid, right.
		
01:02:38 --> 01:02:39
			Now, good luck.
		
01:02:51 --> 01:03:02
			So if it says if the same scenario that the brother was talking about, which is that if they're not
worth the effort, but they are ill relative, should we continue to push
		
01:03:03 --> 01:03:11
			and try to fix them, right. And of course, if they are a relative, there are two things happening
here. One is that you owe them more.
		
01:03:12 --> 01:03:58
			And it's not easy to disconnect. So you're bound. If they're just a friend or an acquaintance, you
could just simply go your way, separate ways. And that'd be fine. A relative on the other hand,
you're connected. So we say there is more of a need to put to push. It's also for your own sake, not
only for their own sake, it's also for your own sake, because if you fix them, it's less stressful
for you. Okay, whenever you're around them. So and also because that because of that connection, I
mean, who's going to take care of them strangers, not likely, but blood ties. So you push more and
you try and me you may ultimately decide that that I can't do anything. And you could reach that
		
01:03:58 --> 01:04:23
			stage and that limit and if you reach it after trying and do and trying and dua, then you've reached
it. So it's important right? When we're saying give advice and be nice and this this this there are
some who will suck the energy out of you write some who will suck all the all the goodness out of
you. Just because you keep trying you have to realize your limits and also how much actually they
are reformable or not.
		
01:04:28 --> 01:04:30
			You want to ask, Oh, it's here, okay.
		
01:04:32 --> 01:04:32
			Sure.
		
01:04:36 --> 01:04:36
			Okay.
		
01:04:39 --> 01:04:59
			If you want to give advice to someone that knows what they're doing is haram and they're guilty,
should you still give the advice or just let them figure it out? Know if they know that what they're
doing is wrong, still give them advice, even if they know what they're doing is wrong. Because
sometimes you need to hear it from somebody else. You need to hear that this is wrong. Because as
you're doing it, you can justify that
		
01:05:00 --> 01:05:25
			yourself, you could say, well, it's not as bad. I have excuses. I'll repent later. But when you
emphasize that this is wrong, they could wake up. That's why we need advice. That's why we need
reminders. Right? Yeah. What is a reminder that Kira, you know it, but you kind of kind of forgot
it, but you know it. So you need somebody to come and tell you, hey, remember that this is wrong. So
no, you give them advice.
		
01:05:29 --> 01:05:41
			You mentioned to increase in prayer and repentance when trying to rebuild a relationship. However,
if one person makes the effort to increase in prayer, and repentance, should the other person do the
same? Absolutely. So when I'm saying that,
		
01:05:42 --> 01:06:09
			and he that's a good question in terms of how do you fix a relationship if the other person is not
trying to? Right? So am I saying that both parties have that relationship? Or all parties have that
relationship? Do you need to do the same? STOP SINNING and OBEY Allah? Zoda? Absolutely, because the
foundation should be the pleasure of Allah and you cannot have the pleasure of Allah if somebody is
doing right and the other is doing wrong. So everybody needs to repent, everybody needs to do well.
		
01:06:10 --> 01:06:45
			That what do you do when someone realized that the problem and they're trying to reform but the
other is not? Is still is it still going to work? You see, yeah, it's still gonna work. Because we
hope that your effort is going to fix that your effort is going to bring that person closer to Allah
azza wa jal, your DA is gonna help. So this is the best that you could do. You can say, well, since
they've given up or since they are sinful, there is no use anymore. Now you will say I'll fix myself
and be closer to Allah as noted and in doing that, Allah may fix them.
		
01:06:46 --> 01:06:58
			And let me bring them closer, the relationship could be stronger. So you definitely, definitely
everybody, but if not, whoever is aware of the problem should inshallah take care of it.
		
01:07:04 --> 01:07:14
			So what is the hack? I have to give a toxic parents when I no longer want a relationship with them?
I understand that not all family relationships are easy, I understand.
		
01:07:16 --> 01:07:22
			But Allah azza wa jal, kind of still, once you kind of You can't cut them off, right? You can't cut
them off.
		
01:07:25 --> 01:07:46
			And the more that you strive, the more that you struggle, the more that Allah azza wa jal rewards
you. Now, I don't know what you mean by a toxic parent I, in a sense, Believe you in that they harm
you. Right? And that could be the case, I understand that. But at the same time, right? If we're
going to give
		
01:07:47 --> 01:07:50
			everybody the
		
01:07:53 --> 01:08:15
			if we're going to let everybody just cut their parents off because they're angry with them, or
they're tough on them, or they're getting more and more difficult to deal with, then no one is going
to talk to their parents. Right? So we need to kind of develop a patience, patience. And what May
Allah save everybody? What if Allah azza wa jal gave you a disabled child?
		
01:08:17 --> 01:08:18
			Who's hard to deal with?
		
01:08:19 --> 01:08:20
			What do you do?
		
01:08:22 --> 01:08:25
			Is your child what do you do? Would you consider that what
		
01:08:26 --> 01:08:34
			it's a test from Allah azza wa jal is also a blessing in the sense of Allah rewards you for that. So
if somebody gives you If Allah gives you a difficult parent,
		
01:08:35 --> 01:08:58
			right, then that's another test. Okay. And you are in jihad as long as you are trying. Okay. Now
there is, there are ways for you to limit that toxicity, maybe by talking to them about it by
shielding yourself from their comments by not taking that seriously, I don't know what type of
toxicity we're talking about, but there are ways of shielding yourself from it.
		
01:08:59 --> 01:09:05
			But don't let that undermine your entire relationship with them. You could make him give them do.
		
01:09:06 --> 01:09:18
			You can talk to somebody and you definitely would need to talk to somebody about the specific
reasons why you don't want to be close to them and how you could deal with those things. And maybe
there is a solution that you don't know.
		
01:09:19 --> 01:09:37
			Right? So don't give up yet right? And maintain at least a minimum of a relationship with them. And
even if there is some distance but at least a minimum of a relationship, where you see what they
need and you take care of it and you don't upset them you don't harm them. That's a minimum
inshallah
		
01:09:39 --> 01:09:39
			for you.
		
01:09:41 --> 01:09:59
			So Malika Malika Salam if one overlooks and forgives, even after repeated negativity, harm and
toxicity to you. Is it foolish to keep being patient and keep trying and maybe face harm? Or is that
what we are supposed to do? So this is ties to what the brother was talking about. If you keep
		
01:10:00 --> 01:10:11
			you're overlooking and forgiving. And over and over and over. And after some time you realize that
that person is simply taken advantage of you that person is harmful that person is
		
01:10:13 --> 01:10:54
			detrimental to your iman and you try and you try and it's not working, there is going to come a
point, after giving them advice, the benefit of the doubt with much patience and much dua, there's
gonna come a point where you say I can't maintain that relationship. It's not, it's not helpful,
healthy, it's not helpful. So you start to withdraw, you don't need to stop completely. You can
still exchange salon, but you withdraw from that relationship, so it's not as harmful. So you would
have to be the assessor of that. Okay, or somebody who can give you advice, but you'd have to give
them the details of who that person is. And that negativity and how long you've been trying to give
		
01:10:54 --> 01:11:02
			you advice. But generally, you keep trying, as long as you see good and that person, and there is no
benefit than harm.
		
01:11:03 --> 01:11:10
			And you still have hope. If there's more harm than benefit, and you have no hope, then you withdraw.
		
01:11:11 --> 01:11:22
			Okay, so all these things are really saying about try your best, that does not apply to someone who
is harmful. I don't want to use the word toxic, because I don't know what the word toxic means.
Right?
		
01:11:23 --> 01:11:38
			So I don't want to like give it currency by saying toxic, toxic, toxic, I don't know what the word
toxic means. But if somebody is harmful, then that harm is I mean, it's harmful, that harm is
harmful.
		
01:11:39 --> 01:11:48
			If someone is harmful, then you avoid that. And you need to protect yourself, right? So if that's
beyond your ability, then it's beyond your ability, or lower.
		
01:11:50 --> 01:11:52
			And maybe we'll make this the last one.
		
01:11:56 --> 01:12:03
			How do you stop yourself from feeling like a hypocrite when you want to advise someone but you're
also committing the same sin?
		
01:12:04 --> 01:12:08
			will say to yourself, is giving him advice a bad or not?
		
01:12:10 --> 01:12:25
			I mean, regardless of what you're doing at that moment, but giving him advice isn't a worship in
itself? You say? Yes. Good. It's helped him? Yes. Good. It saved him. Yes. Should I then stop and
not give him that advice? Just because I'm weak and I'm doing the same sin? No.
		
01:12:26 --> 01:12:32
			So look at it as another act of authorship, another act of a badass, don't fail at that.
		
01:12:33 --> 01:12:42
			And then go back. And feeling like a hypocrite is not a bad thing, then go back to yourself and say,
you can be giving people advice and then violating your own advice.
		
01:12:43 --> 01:13:05
			So stop. But if you see somebody who needs your help, who needs your advice, despite your
shortcomings, it's an act of a better to save them, to guide them. So that's not hypocrisy. That's
worship of Allah azza wa jal and then go back and be hard on yourself and stop yourself from
committing that's Malloy.
		
01:13:07 --> 01:13:16
			So we'll stop here and share a little bit Alameen Subhana Calama VMDK shadow Allah ale and the stuff
with regard to where they could handle a lot of that I mean, Salam alaykum Warahmatullahi
Wabarakatuh