Ahmed Suleman Khatani – Treatment Of Wife
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AI: Transcript ©
Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Madhu, wanna saint who wanna sell
for me, no, be here when I don't call la
wanna say, Yama Nina, may Allah, who follow me over in hoopla the
Allah, a
canal
look at the canal comfier, soliloman, can I own you all you
know the call Allah Kati ra
salaam, calling
Abu SallAllahu, alaihi wasallam,
the wala Sabra and Huna Yan Kareem, wahena, laiman,
Akuna Karim and Mauban, wala OHIP one aku na laim and khaliban o
kama kala SallAllahu, alayhi wa sallam
respected Allah akhram
Elder, elders and beloved brothers in Islam,
Allah subhanahu wa has
blessed the Ummat of janavi Rasulullah, sallAllahu, alayhi wa
sallam
With the way of life
of the most perfect and
the greatest Nabi in the sight of Allah Tana.
The beauty of our Shariat is such
that it encompasses
every facet of our lives, whether it is inside the masjid, outside
the masjid, whether it is the bazaar, whether it is the home,
every facet of human existence we have in front of us, that perfect
mold, that perfect model, that perfect example, which if we will
Follow,
then every act of our 24 daily life, no matter how mundane it may
be, will carry reward and recompense from Allah.
Allah says in the Quran, Allah Kum fear rasulallah for you in the
rasulallah Muhammad Sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam is the most
perfect example.
Unfortunately, many of us have restricted and confined Shariat
And Deen to pertain to acts of ibadah, to our conduct in the
masjid.
Outwardly,
we may have sunnat libas on. The appearance
may be of sunnat outwardly, in many cases, the person appears to
be an Insan, but once he enters his house, and once he is away
from the probing eyes of society, then that same insan becomes an
animal,
and
his life and his conduct has absolutely no identification
or no resemblance whatsoever With the sublime conduct of janavi
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
we have to understand my respected brothers,
the reward for Iwata is in its place,
but akhlaq and character in the sight of Allah, subhanho wa Taala
carries a greater reward than even our iwats. Janagi
Rasulullah, sallAllahu, sallam said, mamin Shay in at Alfi, Meza,
Anil Abdul, mini Yom al qayama, mink in Hasan,
there is nothing, not salah, not zakat, not Hajj, no act of ibad,
tilaut, of Quran ziklullah, whatever it may be, is more
weightier in the scale of deeds on the day of judgment than good
akhlaq and character.
The emphasis our Shariat has placed on character and akhlaq is
tremendous. On one occasion, one Bedouin comes to Rasulullah,
sallAllahu sallam, and he asks him, what is Deen? Allah
rasulallah says, deen is good of luck.
This person didn't expect that answer. So he turns around, goes
away and comes from the right hand side, on the way of Allah. What is
Deen again? The reply is given, good of laa, so he goes back,
comes from the left hand side. Ya rasulallah, what is Deen again?
The reply good of luck.
Allah. Then he comes from behind on the way of Allah, what is Deen
again? Rasulallah says, Bhai,
you don't want to understand, alright. Do not become angry. That
is Deen.
One person came and asked,
What is Islam? Allah? SWT, will Kalam, to feed people, to be
generous, to be kind, to speak sweetly. That is Islam. In other
words, good aflaq and character.
Someone else came and asked, What is Iman?
He said, asavar Samaha, to be tolerant and to speak sweetly, to
overlook, to forgive. In other words, good as
someone came and asked aun Islami Afzal, what is the best Islam? He
said, Man Salim al muslimihi wa Yadi.
He said, The best Islam, the best Muslim, is not the person who
spent the whole day fasting and the whole night in tahajjud. Who
is the best Muslim? That person from whose tongue and hands other
Muslims are safe, he is not a threat to society.
Someone came and asked a Imani, Abdul on Abhi of Allah, what is
the best Iman? What is the highest Iman?
The reply of Jana, Bira Sala, Islam was hush, personal. Good
character. That is the highest Iman,
and the greatest test
for the level of Iman and akhlaq and character of an individual
my respected Brothers is not the public eye.
The greatest test is the domestic life of this person. What is his
conduct with his wife and his children?
That is why Rasul ASAN said, khairukum, khairukum li alihi wa
Ana khairukumi Ali,
he said, the most superior one from all of you, the best one of
my ummat
is not that person who makes the most ibhagat.
No, is that person who appears to be the most pious in public.
He said, the best person amongst you is the one who deals with his
family in the kindest manner,
who is best to his wife and children,
and then to make you understand what Islam requires of you as a
husband and what Islam requires of you as a father. Janavi rasulallah
said, anak sahiru kumli, ali, look at my example.
Look at the manner in which I conducted myself with my wives.
Look at a manner in which I conducted myself with my children
and grandchildren, then you will have what is the requirement in
the court of Allah?
Occasion of Juma is too limited an occasion to analyze the domestic
life of Janabi Rasulullah, sallAllahu, sallam, but the
intention is just to recount a few incidents by which we
Alhamdulillah, Allah has given us akal and intelligence we can gage
what Allah wants and where we stand. What is actually Shariat
and what we consider to Be Shariat.
Aisha radiAllahu Tala na says
I was
a she says, I was in a state of haze, impure,
and I was drinking from a glass.
I handed the glass over to Rasulullah sallallahu sallam. Look
at the manner in which he expressed his love for his wife.
She says he put his mouth on the same place where my lips were, and
he drank from the same glass. Then she says, I was eating. There was
a piece of there was a bone with some flesh in my hand. I took a
bite out of it, then I handed it over to Rasulullah sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam janavi. Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam took
the same piece of meat and he put his mouth on the exact same spot
from which I had eaten, and he ate from there. Also,
how many of us have done that with our wives?
She says, at times, when I was in a state of Shays, he would put his
head in my lap, and he would recite Quran.
On one occasion, the sunla salary Salam was returning from Safar,
he told the Sahaba to go ahead
until they were out of sight. Then he asked Aisha when he allowed
Alan ha then, will you run a race with me? Who is asking? I.
Rahmatullamin, the greatest of Allah's creation, more honorable,
more superior, more prestigious, more noble. There is no one in
existence
that NaVi of Allah. On
one occasion, he asked Jibril
there, oh, Jibreel Allah has sent me as rahmatulla alameen, not only
mercy for the dunya, Allah has sent me as a mercy. Alameen, which
encompasses everything. It encompasses the seven heavens and
the seven Earths,
right up till the ash of Allah, it encompasses you also. Jibril,
explain to me, how was I rahmat and mercy to you.
Jibril says,
constantly the fear existed in my heart that perhaps eventually
Allah will throw me also into jahannam.
Then through your garkad and your blessings, the verses were
revealed in the Quran, describing the messenger who brought the
Quran to Rasulullah, sallAllahu, Sallam in the hula Kaula, rasulim,
Kareem viku wating and Arshi makin muta samma Amin, describing
Jibreel. He says, when these verses were revealed, then through
your work, as in your blessings, I got contentment that I was not
going to Jahannam, that zaat and that personality whose rahmat
reach encompass Jibreel also, whose rahmat reached right up to
the sidraul muntaha Also, why is his ummat today? Maharam of his
rahmat and mercy. Why is his ummat today? Maharam of his birth and
blessings, because this
has turned his back on his Mubarak way of life. We have lost the
identity with the life of Janabi Rasulullah sallam,
that Navier Allah is racing in the desert with his wife,
Aisha Radi Allahu says, I ran faster and I beat him
several years later. On another occasion, Navier Islam asked
Ayesha, Ayesha, will you race with me? She said, Yes.
They started racing in the desert. Sahaba had gone so far ahead they
couldn't see what was going on. Nabi is the Lord Islam is racing
with Aisha. She says, On that occasion she had picked up a bit
of weight. So Nabi is salal Islam beat her. Then he smiled at her
and said, Hadi vitilka, Sabata, oh, Aisha, last time you beat me.
This time I beat you
with his own Mubarak again, he would take a morsel of food and
put into the mouth of his wife, and then he told his ummat, this
is Sadaqah and charity. Allah will give you that reward.
In Hadith, it comes from a form of which the Vishal al Islam said,
Allah does not allow you to engage in vain talks, in useless talks.
Allah does not allow you to engage in vain amusements, but there is a
concession in my Shariat when you will playfully talk to your wife
that Allah loves
and on that Allah will give you reward.
May Muna RadiAllahu dalaan
Islam married her in seventh day of Hijri. She was the last wife he
got married to
one night. He is sleeping with her.
He has the need to relieve himself.
So he wakes up and he goes outside to relieve himself.
She gets up all of a sudden and realizes that a Sullivan is not
there.
Momentarily, she becomes a victim of her nubs, and she thinks that
Nabi salalism is gone to one of his other wives. She becomes
angry, and anger is such a thing once it overtakes the person, they
lose their senses. They don't realize what they are doing. So
she goes and she locks the door.
Navi Sala Islam comes back and he finds that the door is locked. So
he calls out to om Muna, why have you locked the door?
She says, You left me to go to one of you. Otherwise,
NaVi. Salaam says, In nihain o me Muna lagi Bandi, I went to relieve
myself. I didn't go to any of the other wives. She refused to
listen. Finally, he said to her, Allah kebadi, don't you realize
that a NaVi will never make Kiana
when she hears this, and all of a sudden, realization dawns upon
her. She regrets what she did. She realized the error. Now understand
the veracity of this incident. She had locked the door on rahmatulla,
mean on the pride of Allah's creation. She rushes forward and
opens the door. What would.
Be the reaction of a husband of today.
Allah Rasool Sala Islam, smiles at her. He enters not one word of
anger, not one word of displeasure, and he goes to bed
and he sleeps
away so that the Ummat till kyama can understand what the conduct of
a husband is supposed to be with his wife. Aisha radi Allah says
that one occasion, there were some habshi.
They were playing with daggers in the sand in the courtyard of the
masjid Majid and nawawi, the salah salaam, would overlook the
courtyard. So she said to Nabi salaam, I want to look at their
play. So Allah, sallAllahu Sallam made pardah for her. What pardah,
his own body was the pardha. She looked over his shoulder, and he
had a charger over his head. So between the gap, she was looking,
and then she says, the thought entered my heart that let me test
his tolerance for me, let me take how much forbearance he has for
me. So she says, I carried on looking and looking and looking.
And she herself says, Hari Sathi sin al Hari Sati Allahu. I was
young. Imagine how much of interest a young person will have
in looking at amusement. So I stood for a very long time.
Eventually asked me, Aisha. Masabi ATI, oh, Aisha, have you seen
enough? She said. I said, No. La why? Wanted to see how much of
love he had for me, how much he was prepared to tolerate. She
says, to who you have will obey in a Kajam,
she says I saw him shifting from one foot to the other foot,
allowing me to continue looking at what interested me. Not one word,
not one word of displeasure. She says, eventually, I got tired.
Then only Rasulullah sallallahu Islam turned away.
That was the example which SallAllahu, alayhi wa sallam shows
us of what your husband is, what was his conduct with his children.
Bucharee, buchare, Saba saying in the house, rasulallah would be on
all fours, crawling on all fours with Hassan and Hussain.
RadiAllahu, Tala, Huma on his back. Zainab Radi Allahu daughter,
Salah with the little child in his hand as he would go for sajda, he
would put her to one side. When he would wake up again, he would lift
the child in his hand and perform Nafil Salah
constantly. He would be seen showing his affection and his love
for his grandchildren. One occasion, he was making Nafil
Salah in vazidha, nagawi Hassan and Hussain came crawling. One of
them crawled on his back while he was in sajda, and the other one
crawled in between him. Sahaba rushed forward to move the
children away. It was Nafil Salah in Salah, he made ishara. He
indicated to them to stay back. He stretched himself out more, and he
lengthened his sajda until the children became tired of their
game and they went away.
Nowadays, we don't even have time to sit with our families. We don't
even have time to share with our wives and our children
outside
the person mashala is a beard outside his sunnat libs outside
his smiles to the whole world, shows his compassion and shows his
kindness. And inside his house, he is a tyrant, and what he says as
justification for this conduct,
that I am the boss,
I will not let a woman overpower me or rule over me.
This is not superiority. This is bad aklaki.
This is not having a character.
On one occasion, Sasa came to muawiya Radi Allahu, taala,
maalia, was that Khalifa who was ruling over three continents,
sarsad came to him and said, K Bannon, Sibu, kailan, akni,
Wakata, halaba, alaikan is for Insan.
He said, om I will. Muminin, how can we depend upon you as our
ruler? How can we regard you as an intelligent man
when half of humanity has overpowered you, referring to
Mahavir softness towards his wife, fakhita, Binta Yazeed,
Mahavir, the Allahu taala.
This was an inciting statement. Imagine telling the ruler that you
are ruled by your wife. What kind of a rule are you? In layman's
terms, this is what he was saying. But they had in front of them the
example of janami Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, who
said that women by nature, such if a man is soft natured, if a man is
generous, if a man is kind and compassionate, then she will try
to assert her authority over him.
And if her husband is such that he is a tyrant, he is overpowering.
He is ready to raise his hand and strike at his wife, just to
digress in one Hadith, sabhi Sala Islam said, what type of an insan
Are you? What type of a human being are you that in the day, you
beat your wife, you are prepared to swear her, you are prepared to
raise your hand against her, you are prepared to strike at her, and
at night you want to share the bed with the same woman. Are you an
insan or what are you? That is number four, the hadith of
rasulallah. So this person incites mawiya That what type of a rule
are you? Your wife rules over you. How can we expect you to rule over
the people? Mawiya refers to that hadith of Rasulullah, sallAllahu,
sallam, where he said, by nature, if a person is soft, a woman will
overpower a husband, and it is hard, then he will be the ruler in
his house. What did he want for his ummah?
He said, so.
Muhammad, I Muhammad, sallAllahu, alayhi wa sallam, prefer to be
compassionate and kind and overpowered by my wife, rather
than being a hard hearted and a mean and a vile person who
overpowers his wife.
Imam Zari Rahima Allah.
Imam Zari Rahim Allah in His Deen, he explains what is good at luck
and character.
He said, lay sashman, cupful Adha, anha minha. He says, If a husband
says
that I will not be a source of hurt, I will not be a source of
difficulty and hardship to my wife and my children. He says, This is
not good. Akan character good, akhlaq and character istima ul Aza
Amin Ha is that when that wife misbehaves, when she bet answers
you,
which is part of the nature, when she is ungrateful to you, when
your food is not on time,
when things are not running properly at home,
when she raises a voice with you at that time for you to be thrown
And that is a Clark in character, soul
in love. Rasulillah, he says, Consider the example of Rasulullah
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the azwaja mutahira naul Kalam. They
would answer back to Rasulullah sallallahu sallam. They would
answer back to Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, and at times
they would become angry with him, and for a whole day, they would
not even speak to him. Yet, Allah a Salam never raised his voice and
never raised his hand towards his wife,
one great chef,
he was married to a woman who was a very poor in character. She
would always answer him back.
She would never tend to his needs.
So his murid and his followers, they said to him, Sheriff, why do
you put up with such a woman?
He said,
Why must you people always look at the negative things.
My Allah has blessed me with good health. My Allah has blessed me
with the manipad of his Deen. My Allah has blessed me with wealth,
perhaps because of my Gunas and my sins. In order to wash that away,
Allah has given me a wife like this.
If I get rid of her, I fear that a worse musi but will befall me.
One great, avid
his wife passed away.
Her character had not been good. He had made Sabbath for many
years.
After she passed away, they told him, why don't you take another
wife? I
He said, I made Sabha for long enough. One was enough.
That night, he goes to sleep and he sees a dream.
The doors of the heaven have opened up and the Malaika of Allah
coming down, one after the other
every time they pass by him, the one pass.
Passes a comment to another one. This is that unfortunate person,
and the second one nods. He passes a comment to the third one. He
also nods. He says, I became full of fear. What did they mean? I was
unfortunate. Finally, when the last angel came, I asked him,
Who is the unfortunate person you people are referring to? He says,
we are referring to you. He says, explain to me what is my
misfortune? They said we ourselves don't know, but up to one week
ago, his wife had passed away one week earlier, up to one week ago,
your Amal were raised with the Amal of the Mujahideen in the path
of Allah. But from last week, we were told that this person's Amal
must be raised with the Amal of those who sit at home and do not
strive in the path of Allah. So you are that unfortunate person we
are referring to. Moment he woke up, he instructed his murids and
his followers to find him a wife. Janabi Rasulullah, sallAllahu,
alayhi wa sallam said, ayuma rajulin, sabara Allah, Sulu ki
Zoji ha AKA a
imrata filaw, firaoun o Kama, Kala, salawadi, assalam,
just as one Hadith,
if we make hamalan it
then all the disputes and all the discord and all the fires that are
burning in the homes of Ummah today, this one Hadith is
sufficient to put all that out. Janai Rasulullah said that husband
whose wife does not have a clerk and character, and he makes
trouble over this. He speaks sweetly to her. He overlooks, he
does not answer that he is Kareem and honorable. Janai rasulallah
says Allah will give him the same reward that ayuba is Salam got for
making Sabha for 18 years over his illness. And that woman who will
make Sabha over the grand a clock and character of her husband,
Allah, will give her the reward that Asiya, the wife of your all
will receive on the Day of Judgment,
poor and character has destroyed the homes of the Ummah today. The
whole emphasis when we are bringing our children up is the
concern about setting them up in careers, the daughter, the jewelry
sets are made.
The concern is about the domestic life, the comforts and the
luxuries of this world. Have I instilled a clerk and character in
my children? Have I taught my children to overlook, to forgive,
to speak sweetly? Have I brought in front of them the clerk and
character of janavi Rasulullah sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam? What
was his conduct as a husband? What was the conduct of asmaajimu
taharad as wives? What is the conduct towards children, that
concern and that worry is out of the mind, out of the hearts.
Homes are not made through gold and silver. Homes are not made
through good salaries. Homes are not made through the latest
comfort of luxuries, lounge suites and curtains and good furniture in
the birth room, in the bedroom. Walla, a home is made through good
at character. Fire is burning in the homes of the Ummat today
because this ummat has shifted away from the Clark and character
of Janabi Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. More reward,
more reward than 1000 records of Nafil. Salah is to stay away from
Kibbutz. More reward than 1000 records of Nafil Salah is at the
time of anger, to swallow your anger, to stay away from care,
carrying, to stay away from gossiping, to control your anger
and to speak sweetly. Allah in the court of Allah is more virtuous
than 1000
salah. Who is saying this
said, Good luck and character become a source of coolness in
your home and I Muhammad Sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam, is
your guarantee that I will give you a home in Jannatul firdos.
A clock and character has to be developed. We have to learn what
was the life of Janabi Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, bring
the halka of Talim, the Kida of fazaila Amal, which our elders are
exhorting us daily, take the time out, sit 1520 minutes with our
families. Read the conduct of Sahaba, read the conduct of Nabhi
salaam, read about his wives, read about his children, his
grandchildren. Let our homes abound with the noraniya, the
Quran and Hadith, rather than the fahash and the filth that is
taking place in our home.
Is today.