Ahmed Suleman Khatani – Husne Akhlaq P2
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
Ali Radi Allahu, Taala used to say, manra Abu badihat and Ha
Bahu. If somebody saw him the first time, they were overawed by
his beauty, and they would think that this is someone out of this
world. So I cannot reach for Mada, Abu badihat and habahu. O woman,
khalat a hum Mari fatan, Ahab Bahu. But once you interacted with
him, he says automatically his love would enter your heart. And
yakulu na itu hula, Ara MIT Lahu walaba Mila Ulam ala kablah Hu
walaba milahu, and the one who described him would say, before
this and after this, I have never seen a personality like
Rasulullah. So these few things which we mentioned are basic
emission, trivial, but they are an indication of what, what a person
thinks of himself when dealing with other people, Allah RAS
lowered himself we mentioned after Isha also that to be completely
accessible, to bring yourself down to the level of people, then only
Allah Tala will make you a Zaria and means of Being coming in their
lives or being a source of their
guidance, Allah Name
of him.
In the HU
swallow, Ali, anguna, manzila, tiainda, hula, kadra, itu Hu
urawi, hobain, Akademi, fatala, Omar, fat NASA, Allahi, salawali,
wasallam
Rahi tu Shaya, Tina in civil jinn, Sadhguru, Min Umar, rahalid
kamafi, mandahain, anha, kamafi, mishkat, aalat, Mullah hedwah,
itun Nabi ya salaam ya Kumu alabathi Ul habasha to Yala Abu
Nabil hab
sin, Masjid para sulayhi, salawali ya salam yas Duru ni virida IHI ya
andura, ila Allah IB him main udunihi, waat ya Kahi
Sumayya Kumu bin AJ lihat, Kuna, * ladi and sari Qadr al Jared,
Hadith at the sin al Hari Satya Allahu.
A few days ago, we began the chapter on character of Rasulullah
sallam.
Means mentioned that hadiza rasulallah,
when he said Akmal and meenina Iman and akshan Humu Ka,
he said the best believer, the most Kamil, the most perfect
believer, so far as Iman is concerned, is that person who has
the best akhlaq in character.
And as you mentioned, if you look at most of these, vivaya and akla
and character, Vaslav, the narrators, are either his family
members or those who are His servants. Because the test, the
real test of akhlaq and character, is with your subordinates. Those
who are you come directly or immediately in contact with
nowadays we find
many, many instances in the homes of the ummed, either between
parents and children or between husband and wife,
or between people that are working with us,
or staff, etc, there's always disputes. Tempers are constantly
being lost.
There's no chain, there's no sukhoon, there's no peace.
Divorce. Also, we find becomes something very, very common. In
the past, it was unheard of. Now it seems people are married,
extravagant, lavish weddings, one or two months later, already, the
homes are broken.
All these,
what is taking place is indicative of the lack of akhlaq and
character. Because the Talim of akan character is not taking
place.
You've got no idea what the akhlaq and the character of Asmaa SaaS
was. What is the conduct that he thought is ummat, what we are
supposed to be bringing in our lives.
The first fundamental basic difference between the character
of the Sunnah Asmaa is interaction with people, and what is
propagated nowadays by the system of bathil around us is that from
small we are brought up
with this idea that get your Haq demand your right
once you get your right, then you are progressing. And
that that is the first point already where we find a distinct
disparity and a glaring difference between what rasulallah Islam came
with and what is being taught around us now. The first thing
Islam teaches us is.
That forgo your rights.
You should not when it especially when it comes to your family
members, especially when it comes to your parents, especially when
it comes to your relatives, especially when it comes to your
wife and children.
Islam teaches us, and maybe to some extent, when it comes to the
parents or family members or relatives, will accept it. This is
what I am saying, that forgo your right, that when it comes to the
wife, nobody is prepared to accept they. I must have my right. I must
establish my authority. I am a man.
This is why the fire is burning the homes of the Ummah today.
The first thing Navis Lawson taught us is forgo your right.
What your concern should be is whether you are fulfilling the
obligation upon you.
If you fulfill the obligation that is upon you, Allah's help will be
with you,
and if Allah's help is with you, you don't need anything.
Your dunya is made. Your accurate is made also. You
you find the nuskha in prescription given in Hadith
navies. Rajnam said, the moment anyone, any hakdar person, any
hakdar person, lets his right go, then automatically, Allah takes it
upon himself to raise that person?
He said, mantarakal, Nira Abu Asmaa Kun, buniyala, Hu Batan, Sri
Raba del Jannah, he said, that person who walks away from a
dispute when he is on Haqq,
that person who walks away from a dispute when he is on Haqq, when
he is when he is correct. He is the right one, but he walks away
because he doesn't want dispute, doesn't want discord, doesn't want
arguments.
He says,
I Muhammad, sallAllahu, Islam guarantee that person that Allah
will give him a home in Jannah to fill those
learn to become the oppressed one when dealing with your family
members, become the Muslim one.
Because this is how muhabbat will spread.
This is how chain sukul will be found.
Now they say, if you have to
condense the akhlaq and character of rasulallah, sallAllahu sallam,
what he purported by way of akhlaq and character,
they say it can be condensed in four things,
Ahmed character of Rasul Asmaa Islam, they say basically is four
things.
And
if leave Muslims, even if non Muslims,
whether Muslim or non Muslim, if these four things are brought into
the life of a person,
then ulama say, every dispute, every argument that's taking place
in the whole world,
will fall away.
All the disputes. The solution of it is in these four things.
Jibreel came with the verse of the Quran, khuzel, AFA murbil. Or if
you are Danil jahilien, then Muhammad. Muhammad Sallallahu is
commanding you
that forgive order good and stay away. Don't take heed to what the
ignorant people say.
So NaVi salaam asked Jibril that what is the meaning of this and
that rewire three things are mentioned. But if you join with
other Ahadith, there's four things he said, Silman kata ak
alamak athiman, saramat, aksin, ilaman Asahi.
To translate these four things is very, very simple, and to hear it
is also very simple. But believe me, my respected brothers, to
practice on this. It is easier for the rest of your life to make Rosa
every day and eat Ajit whole night
than to practice on these four things. But if you achieve this,
then there is no one tomorrow, on the day of judgment that will rise
up in higher position than you.
He said, Silman katha, join with the one who breaks off from you.
Join with the one who breaks off from you.
Aatim and halamaq, the one who deprives you. Give him the one who
deprives you. Extend the hand of kindness towards him.
Or Abu aman walamak, forgive the one who oppresses you. Ashin Ilam
and Asha in a and do good to the one who does evil to you. Do good
to the one who does evil to you.
Every dispute, every problem that humanity is facing. If these four
things are brought into this Insan, automatically, the problems
will follow me, the disputes will follow me.
This is never we akhlaq and we and really there's no time, always
fighting against the clock. But if you look and analyze, there are so
many incidents in the life of Rastas where we see these four
things constantly. The kufar also used to try and test to see
whether he is a Nabhi of Allah, to see whether this.
Qualities were there.
This is what we call nabavi akhlaq. And nowadays what is our
is what
they call an intekavik. What
do you call it reciprocal, reciprocal character. He said,
join with the one who breaks off from you. Do good to the one who
does wrong to you, forgive the one who oppresses you. Be kind to the
one who is unkind to you. What we say is a flock. Smile at the one
who smiles at you. Do good to the one who does good to you. Talk
nicely to the one who is talking nicely to you. If he scratches
your back, you scratch his back. And we say that's a flock that's
not a flock that even animals know
to show kindness to someone that's showing kindness to you is not
akhlaq that is a reciprocal nature.
Akhlaq and character is to show kindness to the one who is not
being kind to you.
That is how you will bring people closer. That is what made Islam
attractive to people, because Muslims were prepared to forgo
their rights,
they had this yaki in this conviction that Allah is going to
give us in akirat.
Any case, I'm digressing hadith of Assad. Last mentioned, he said,
the most Tamil, the most perfect believer, is the one with the most
perfect Aslak in character. And then he said, Where's the first
test of character? Siyaro Kum siharo kumli nisahim. He said, The
best amongst you is he who is best in dealing with his wife.
And then, obviously,
obviously, sometimes, now, a person tell him to go in. Tablig
is not going. Tabligh tell him to go. Masjid is not going. Masjid
tell him to go do any work of Deen. He says, No, my wife wants
me to do this. A wife wants to do that. You see, in Hadith, it comes
khya rukhum, best amongst you, you is best to his wife. I'm
practicing on Hadith. What you come here telling
me so that this door doesn't open,
the qualification we find NaVi SAS says, Anna Sahib, kumli Ali. And
then if you want to know what it means, what I mean, what I mean,
if you want to know what I mean, that the best amongst you is who
is best to his wife, within the parameters that Muhammad,
sallAllahu, Sallam has shown you, not where the deen of Allah is
going to be compromised, and not where your Akira is going to be
compromised. There your nafs is talking.
But when it comes to your normal dealing and interaction with your
wife, what's the example? You find the man who standing in his shop.
That woman comes in, young, strange girl, tight jeans. She's
got t shirt on,
nothing left to the imagination.
Now you find that person is smiling, speaking softly to her,
even if she's not interested in buying anything. He's a mountain
of patience. He wants to go out of his way to make Ikram of her.
Where Shariat told him, avert your gaze, where Shariat wants him to
walk away. There, he is very interested. There. Is very soft
there. He got a lot of tolerance. And then the same person, the same
person, when he walks in his house, wears his tolerance there.
He doesn't even smile. He doesn't even greet
where Islam requires him. That haram strange woman in your
business, you speak nicely to
you, speak kindly towards and
in the home that wife is slogging whole day, washing your clothes,
sing to your food, sing to your needs, bring your children up
there no appreciation whatsoever, no consideration whatsoever.
Aisha was asked that describe the Rasul of Allah. Describe the Rasul
of Allah, she said, The shaman bahakan.
He said, then in the house, he would always find him smiling.
He was approachable, he was kind. Sometimes he would knead the
dough. Sometimes he would be mending his own shoe. Sometimes he
would be washing his clothes. Sometimes he would be sweeping the
house. Who
the greatest personality that ever set foot on the surface of this
earth,
and that was his akhlaq and character engaged in the menial
chores of the house and assistant in the house. He
this incident,
which I'm if you are reading Ayesha Radi Allahu, Anan and the
rates,
she says, and NaVi SallAllahu, sallam
was sitting in her hujrah with her, and
he heard some commotion
when he investigated, there were some subsidies that were playing
with spears in the courtyard of the Masjid.
Aisha Ali ALA, being young, she was very interested in looking at
this type of amusement.
So within the parameters of Shariat and.
As the susha Allah, His salaam made paradha for her.
He placed his charger, his cloak over his head, and created a
window for her between his ears and his shoulder, so that her
Parad would be observed and she would still be able to see these
hakshis playing.
So she says, I began looking at them.
I looked for a long while.
Then she says, After a while, as asked me, Ayesha, are you
satisfied? Ayesha, are you satisfied?
So she said, It entered my heart. Let me see how much tolerance, how
much affection he has for me. So I said, No, I'm not satisfied. So
she says he carried on standing without complaining, and I carried
on looking. Now my interest was not in what was going on there. My
interest was in seeing how much longer he will tolerate.
She says it came to such a stage that I saw him shifting from one
leg to the other leg. It
became so uncomfortable for him, yet he didn't utter one word of
complaint. He stood and waited and waited. She says, fuck Duru Qadr
al jariya, till Hadith at his sin al Hadi satyall, lovely look at
the intelligence of Aisha gala now. She says, imagine for
yourself a young girl how much time she will have for amusement.
Someone who is young at heart, how much time they will have for
amusement. She says, I stood so long. Imagine how long, how much
of appetite I would have had. Yet he still didn't complain. He stood
and waited and waited and waited.
Eventually, what happened? Umar came. The moment Umar came,
everybody ran away. The children also ran away because they were
afraid of Umar. The Allahu talanu, then NaVi salaam said, I've even,
I've seen the shayateen of insan and Jinnah also running away from
Umar. So obviously, then the play terminated.
So from this incident, we can see the shafkat, the kindness, the
tolerance that Allah Ali asallam exhibited with his family members.
Aisha laudana used to say, she says, Sometimes I would be in the
state of Shay's menstrual period.
And there was this psychology that existed in the days of ignorance,
in days prior to Islam of jahiliya, that if a woman is going
through a hence menstrual period, then she also becomes impure to a
certain level. So what they would do, they would stay away from
their wives when their wives were going through menstrual period.
So she says, I was in a state of haze, and I was drinking from a
container. Kunto ashrab, wana khayel Allah SWT asked me to give
him the container. He took the container from me, and he placed
his lips on the same spot where I had placed my lips, and he drank
from there. She says, I were in the state of haze, and I was
eating a piece of meat.
He asked me to give it to him. I gave it to him, and he placed his
Mubarak glyphs on the same spot from where I had been eating. We
find these little, little
things which we may not attach much importance to, but this is
how muhabbat and Shavkat, in a relationship is developed by
showing by these little gestures of love and affection. And we find
that the Sula Salahi Salam in his home, these things were present.
He called his ummat. He said that
any sadaqah you give, also, any sadaqah you give Allah, Allah will
reward you to the extent. He said, If you take a morsel of food and
put it into the mouth of your wife, Allah will reward you for
that also,
one of our elders once was giving Bayan. So he says, One friend of
mine came to me and he says, you know Melissa,
mera, or mera? Bhim me myself and my wife, we are always fighting
like cats and dogs. Always we are arguing. There is no peace. I
didn't know what to do.
So he says, I told him that, why have you ever taken one morsel of
food and put in your wife's mouth?
So he said, No, I've never done that. So he said, Go and do that.
So few days later, this person phoned me, for some reason, they
were close friends. So
this Bodhisattva asked that person, why did you do what I told
you to do?
So he says, no, no, no, I'm too embarrassed to do that.
So he says, To shout and scream at your wife. You're not embarrassed
for that. You're not embarrassed but to put on morsel of food in a
mock you're finding very difficult for.
Up. So he said, Go and do it now, and in 15 minutes time, I'm
phoning you back to ask you whether you did it. So
he says, 15 minutes later, I phoned him,
and I asked him, Why did you do that? So he says, Yeah, I did
that. I carried out what you told me to do. So he said, What was the
reaction? So he says, the moment I did it, my wife asked me then, who
told you to do this?
Because you, on your own, would never do something like this.
So he says, No, that certain Manisha said, the one that is in
Jamaat says, he says, My wife told me I must go more within Manisha,
we find that these little teachings which rasulallah Islam
has given,
the main thing is appreciation, tolerance. Shabd,
these are aspects of akhlaq and character in public. To some
extent, we show these things,
smiling face, being kind, consideration in public. We show
why does it become so difficult for us in our own homes.
Muawi, aradi Allahu, taala, and who
was a Khalifa.
He was ruling that time Islam had spread to more than two
continents, and he was known as a very, very rigid, as a military
type of leader, nobody would take a chance with Mahavir delawanu. He
was known as a very ferocious person that nobody could override
him in any way.
So one day, Sasa, one of his advisers, he came to him and look
at what an inciting statement he makes. He says, ke Fanon aku
wakataan. He says, mahaviya, how can we regard you to be an
intelligent man, and how can we regard you to be a credible leader
when your wife rules you?
Woman is now kisatul akal word, Deen, imperfect deen and imperfect
intelligence. She is ruling you, and we must regard you as a
credible ruler. What kind of intelligence you've got? Referring
to in the divine it comes referring to the manner in which
his wife, fakit abinta Karzai used to boss him around. And
normally, if somebody come and tell you something like, what we
say by what kind what kind man are you? Your wife rules you so what
you say? I am the boss in my house, and I have my wife's
permission to say so,
or we'll try and make some other statement.
But look
at the response of Mahavira.
Immediately he refers, instead of getting upset or angry or trying
to defend himself,
that no, is not the way you are saying. He immediately refers to
the Talim of rasulallah, the hadith of rasulallah, sallAllahu,
sallam, wherein NaVi salaam said, Women by nature in the Huna, you
have lived in a kariman, or you have live. He
said, women, by nature, are such that if a man is soft, natured,
if a man is honorable, if a man is tolerant, then she will overpower
him. She will ride him.
And if he is vile and if he is harsh and if He is arrogant, then
he will overpower her.
And then rasulallah said, O my ummat,
referring to the husbands of the Ummat,
what do I want from you, he said, LA, an akuna LA, anakuna, kariman,
masluban, akhabba, ILA Yamin, an akuna LA, Iman khaliban.
He said that I should be honorable, kind, tolerant,
affectionate and overpowered. Is more beloved to me than being vile
and being harsh and being one who overpowers his wife.
Mahavir the Allahu brings this hadith of Rasulullah Sallam in
front of this person, and he said that, choose which way you want. I
am following the recipe of Rasulullah
was the wife of NaVi salaried, the last one. He married her in the
seventh year of Hijra.
One night, navies laram gets up to go and relieve himself,
goes outside the house
late at night. She wakes up. When she wakes up, she sees she's not
there deep sleep. Obviously she was confused. Momentarily. She
thought maybe he went to one of the other wife. Otherwise she got
upset.
So she got up and she
locked the door. Allah is in the middle of the night in Madina,
the greatest of Allah's creation,
that personality Quran is.
All of his praises.
After after Allah, there is no one higher. He comes to his house in
the middle, in the dead of the night, and the door is locked.
May Muna open the door? She refuses to open the door.
What does he say?
He says, oh, O slave of Allah, O slave of Allah. I went to relieve
myself. I didn't go anywhere else.
Still, she doesn't open.
She is upset.
Eventually, rasulallah says to her, may Muna and NaVi will not
make jnanat.
The moment he says this, then reality dawns on her. You say,
even person is angry for that, while people don't lose people
lose control of themselves. That is why they said, Only a fool,
only a fool, will try to win an argument with his wife, which is
angry.
That is a recipe for disaster.
Arguing with a woman is a recipe for disaster. Learn to be silent
by nature. When a woman is angry, there is no such thing that she is
ever going to accept that you are right.
So why go in that direction
now they say, this one person, this couple, they were happily
married for 30 years, no problems whatsoever.
Somebody met them one day said, What is a recipe to your success
in this marriage? So they say, when we got married, we made a
pact between us that any small problem that takes place, the wife
will decide, and any major problem, the husband will decide.
And 30 years now, we are living in bliss, marital bliss, small
problem, wife decides, big problem, husband decides. So then
they said that, what's so great about this recipe that you're
talking about,
how is this the key to marital bliss? So the wife said, 30 years
are gone. There's never been a big problem. There's only been small
problems.
This akhlaq and character,
to control yourself in the face of aggression, not to demand your
right, not to insist that you are right, to appreciate, to swallow
your anger, keeping Allah and His in front of you.
They're not saying this is only required from the male
Allah. Allah has given Navis. Lasam is given directive to the
men also, where he said the most Tamil perfect believer is one of
the best as and the best amongst you is he is best to his wife. And
what has he told the women of the ummat? What has he told the women
of the ummat? One woman came to rasulallah. She said, What is the
right of my husband over me?
This part the women won't like to hear in any case, he asked, What?
What is the right of my husband over me.
He said that if you get sick and your body breaks out in sores, so
that from the source, pus comes out and you have he tells this
woman, you have to lick the pus of the sores of your husband from
head to toe, then two you haven't fulfilled his right. So both
sides, Islam is given this tawazm,
he told the women, make your five times salah, fulfill your for eyes
of Deen no Nafil,
no. Nafil, no extra exertion, but keep your husband happy on the Day
of Judgment, eight doors of Jannat in front Allah will tell you enter
to whichever one you want.
Now if both become conscious, but what what happens is, the moment
the problem happens, the husband will tell the vaccine ravishen
said that you are supposed to see to my right, and the wife will say
the opposite thing. Nobody is worried about what I'm supposed to
do, worried about what the next person supposed to do. This is
where all the problems start. Islam teaches us worry about what
you are supposed to be doing. Don't worry about what that
person's supposed to do. If that person eats your heart, Allah will
give you,
and when Allah gives you, you will wish No one ate your heart. You
will wish no one fulfilled your heart. Nevertheless, just to
complete this incident,
Allah rasam tells her that a NaVi will not make jnana.
When she hears then she realizes a mistake
immediately she goes, she opens the door. Now turn the clock front
14 centuries and try and visualize a similar scene. You went out to
relieve yourself. You are perfectly right. You came like the
door is locked middle of the night,
middle of the night, and such a personality, and the wife is
refusing to open the door. And you are right. When she opens the
door, what will happen? Her life will be in danger.
If her life is not in danger, then the type of verbal abuse, even a
gutter, you won't find such verbal abuse. Then what is the aklam
character of Rasul Ali sallam? He enters smiling at her, smiling
and.
There's not one word of argument, not one scold also, not one
reprimand also. So for the Ummat to understand what what is akhlaq?
What is character, what is conduct with one's wife?
Just one Hadith of rasulallah said, ayyuma rajali, eymar rajali,
rajulin, sabara, Allah su ikhuluki, imra, atihi,
atahulaum in Al AJR, mithlama, atah Ayyub, alayhi, salam,
ala sabarihi wa eu ma, imra, atin sabarat. Ala Shu Ihu ki Zoji ha
aka Hala, Makala SallAllahu, alayhi wa sallam,
Ayub alaihi salam
was a Navy of Allah who Allah tested 18 years through illness.
He was a pillar of sovereign patience. In fact, His Sabbath
patience is used as a yardstick. We hear savara, Ayub, the Sabha,
Rahi salam.
Rasalam said that husband of my ummat, who will tolerate the poor
character of his wife, will forbear with tolerance.
Allah Tala will reward him like he rewarded ayubali Salam over his 18
years of patience and that wife of this ummat, that wife of this
ummat who will tolerate bad akhlaq and bad conduct from her husband,
Allah dala, will reward her like he rewarded Asiya, the wife of
Sharon,
over the difficulty and hardship that she underwent, neither each
husband or each wife of the ummath to keep this in front and this,
and this is why we are saying, my respected brothers that establish
the Hanka of Talim in our homes, read the hayatu Sahaba, read the
stories on the lives of sahabi kiram, those who are men, those
who are Women, those were the examples we supposed to be
following them. This is why we say also God in the path of Allah
Tala. And one is with development of iman. Also, we must become
conscious of our Asmaa can character, how much Sabha is
coming in me, how much tolerance is coming in me. And very, very
important is to instill these qualities in our children, make
your daughter how you would want your wife to be, and make your son
how you would want if you were, if you were the wife, how you would
want to be treated. Bring your son up to do that in his house, and
bring your daughter likewise the other way, where she will behave
as you want the wife to behave. What we do is we bring the
daughter up that go there and you get your right. Any problem come
to me,
that is why fires are burning in the moments and the sons are
brought up. How far as the mother is concerned, my son is right in
everything.
When it comes to own daughters, there she is worried when it comes
to someone else's daughter that has come into our house this is
looking for faults. These are the aspects where we don't have cough,
where we don't have a realization that the day is coming of Jaza and
saza, where each word we have to account for each form of injustice
and oppression. Deen is not only Salah and tahajjud and sikal. Deen
is our Klark and character. Our dealings with our fellow human
beings. Are we sowing the seeds of discord in our children's
marriages? What is our role that we are playing? How are we
bringing our children up? Are we giving them the wealth of akhlaq?
That's how they say in our household, paramary is done. So
daughter is ready to get married. Son got his degree. Is ready to
get married. Did we give him a Klark? Did we teach her Ashraf,
did we give her the jewelry of akhlaq and character? Did we teach
her or him? Swallow your anger. Don't fight back.
Show appreciation. Tolerate
make your akhirat rather than your dunya. These Pogs don't even take
place in a home, the homes of the Ummah today. There's no even
talks. There is no even muzakara, of what the life of Madina
munawhar was in the time of rasulallah. This is why our elders
are saying, Go in the path of Allah, in these things, and bring
them back into our homes. Daoud and tabling is not only for
outside. We have to bring it into our homes. That is why our elders
say that tabling mustn't stop at the door, that tabling must come
in our homes, and what is the greatest public action speak
louder than words, if that change comes in us, that is the greatest
doubt, that is the greatest invitation, and that is the thing
that's going to attract others towards Islam.