Ahmed Hamed – Tips to Raise Children

			assalamo alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala
rasulillah Karim while he was happy, Germaine, are also Billahi min ash shaytani r rajim Bismillah
Ar Rahman AR Rahim. robina habla Minh as vergina was a reaction aparato Aryan wotja Sakina he mama
Robbie hubballi mina Salin Robbie Shahi, suddenly were certainly Omri opendata melissani yufka, who
Cali, my beloved brothers and sisters, welcome again to our another live webinar on the topic tips
to raise children. Well, hamdulillah you being here, a part of this webinar clearly reflects your
concern, your care, your focus on raising children. And at the outset, I asked Allah subhanho wa
		

			Taala to make our children as the coolness of our eyes and raise them among those who are pious and
righteous. I mean, yada but I don't mean my beloved brothers and sisters. At the first instance, we
need to know why do we need tips to raise children? Why do we need at the outset to talk about this
topic? We need to understand this very clear from the core so that we can be clearly you know,
defined as to how important for us to focus on this particular topic as a means to gain insha Allah
the highest levels of Jenna. Now, why do we need to talk about this topic? Number one, number one,
my beloved brothers and sisters, Allah subhana wa tada is the one who has blessed us with children.
		

			Subhan Allah received among our families, friends, and even you know, the outside people, we know
that there are many who do not have children in their lives Subhan Allah, the couples, they do not
have children, years pass by 10 years, 15 years, they don't have children and this is Subhan Allah
from a lot of Bonanza. So a lot of reasons he says he gives children to, you know, some, he gives,
you know, sons to some he gives daughters to some ends to some, he doesn't give, so everything is a
part of pest in our lives. So, at the outset, we need to know why we need to raise, you know,
children, because obviously, children are a blessing for us from Allah subhanho wa Taala. So we need
		

			to treat with them and deal with them as the blessing from Allah subhanho wa Taala if it was not
from the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala we wouldn't be we wouldn't be having children in our lives.
So treat it as a blessing. That is the reason why we need to actually know about this topic number
two, obviously the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said
		

			that every one of you is a shepherd of your flock and every one of you will be responsible for your
flock, every one of you will be accountable for your flock meaning we as parents, we'll be
accountable for our children. So obviously, it is mandatory for us to raise children who can be a
blessing and not pain, inshallah, in this dunya and akhira. That's number two. Number three, my
beloved brothers and sisters, we also need to know that obviously children are a means of happiness
from Allah Subhana huhtala. But many times if we do not care, well, if we don't, if we do not, you
know, a bring them well. Many times they actually become a big test for us. And this is something
		

			which becomes so difficult for us to deal with. So, this is again, another important reason why we
need to know the tips to raise children is because they are a means of happy happiness, and they
should be giving those fruits from you know from them in sha Allah number four. Obviously when
they're not they are a test for us. We need to know how to deal with that.
		

			That's the reason we need to know how to raise them up. And finally, we need to actually know the
tips to raise children. Why? Because we will be grown. And in this dunya, and in our era through
them, what do I mean by this, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said, the person's deeds,
all the deeds, you know, all of the things will be disconnected the moment he dies, except three.
And one of them, he said, are righteous child, a righteous child, who prays for the parents. So when
we depart from this world, it is these children who will pray for us. And because of that, after the
mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Our job, our levels, in general will be raised higher. So why
		

			don't we invest now to reap up the return of investment in our era insha Allah, my beloved brothers
and sisters, these are the reasons why we need to actually talk about the tips to raise children
now, how do we do that what should be the approach in our lives to raise you know, children in a
righteous way, we need to give them five E's approach, I call it I call it as our five E's approach.
Number one is education. Number one is education number through number two is environment, give them
that more sphere of righteousness. Number three, is the engagement, you can never ever expect your
children to be raised better if you do not get engaged in it, if there is no engagement model in it.
		

			And number four, is empowerment, empower them throughout their lives. And number five, you do all
fit based on empathy, based on empathy. So number one is education. Number two is environment.
Number three is engagement. And number four is empowerment. And number five is empathy. When you
deal and when you have an approach of five E's insha, Allah you will not lose, you know, your focus
and your your your concentration on raising children will not be lost in sha Allah. Now, when I say
education, what do I mean by it? You know, when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said,
seeking knowledge is compulsory for every Muslim man and woman, obviously, in particularly, you
		

			know, he mentioned about the religious knowledge. So, education tallien is something which we as
parents need to focus on our children, right, from the early age. One of the misconception that we
carry in our minds is that we think that our children, they start learning, when they actually get
into school, that's a wrong perception, we need to change that I want every one of you, myself
included, we have to ensure that the moment the moment child is born, right then, or since then,
children, they start learning, right learning, not necessarily by saying Olive batarseh or ABCD, you
know, or widening Salah No, it's not about just saying, it's about observation. You know, it's about
		

			listening. It's about feelings. It's about total overall experience that they actually go through.
So education has to be the number one approach for us for their upbringing. Now, when I say
education, the first in the primary, most things about education is that they need to actually be
learned about who Allah is. Now Subhan Allah, many times we act when when when I see the age groups
over here on the chat box and Xochimilco head and for sharing the age groups because you know, the
idea is we want to help each other. Everyone has a common struggle, no one is an exception. Every
one of us are sailing in the same boat of challenges with our children, so we need to know how to
		

			deal with it and Subhanallah in Islam, we have certain methodologies which fits to different age
groups. So level wise tarbiyah is something which is really needed for us to look at. So when we say
		

			Education, we need to start with Allah subhanahu wa Tada. Make sure that the first word that your
and my children they learn, not about nama not about Baba, not about abou not about someone else, it
should be Allah preferably and the most importantly, the first word that they should learn by you
and me is Allah and Subhan Allah when he starts listening and listening and listening, when you have
Quran in your home, and when you are sharing this, you know, again and again, they will basically be
raised, you know, with Islam not as a subject, but as a way of life. You know, when La Ilaha Illa,
Allah is surrounded,
		

			you know, with their living Subhan Allah, you will definitely be positive enough to expect from
Allah subhanho wa Taala, to raise them in a righteous way. So teach them about Allah. So for
example, you know, I have a two year old child, and Subhanallah, when I feed him, when I give him
for anything for drink, I make sure that he says Bismillah often, obviously, he can't utter it
properly. You know, he's not fluent enough at this age. But I don't give him until he says this
Milla in his own style, you know, with Mila, something like that, you know, at least he's hearing,
and this is going in his, you know, in his subconscious mind. And he's storing that data, that data
		

			is being stored again, and again, what you me and everyone is speaking to panela. This also raised
as a pointer, a reflection for all the parents. Remember, my beloved brothers and sisters,
		

			we need to ensure while we do the upbringing of the children, we need to really focus on few things.
Number one, watch, watch the words that you use with them and within within the homes, watch the
actions that you perform in the homes, watch the reactions that you do in the homes, watch the
feelings that you spread in the home, because your children my children, much before we teach them
they are also learning by looking at by listening by seeing by observing the entire environment
Subhan Allah, so education should be the first thing and among the Education The first thing should
be about Allah subhanho wa Taala for those parents who have a liqueur, bigger age group, they need
		

			to know about Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, teach them in a in a story format about the story
of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him the stories of the prophets and the stories of the Sahaba one
of the mistakes that we as parents commonly do is that we adopt old methodology with the, with the
right content. Remember, in Serbia, in Serbia, in the upbringing, in the transformation of our
children, we need two things. Number one is the content, the the content, the subject that we are
teaching them and we know it's perfect, we are teaching them as a part of content, the Koran and the
teachings of Prophet sallallaahu al Islam, there is no problem for that and more old it is Subhan
		

			Allah going back to the the time of the profits will allow Alison the more pure it is. So with the
content we go back to profit aligned is profit right with the way the methodology that we need to
actually adopt should be as creative as we can use to handla use different methods and intracanal
are one of the methods is you just you know play something by which listening to they can learn by
which seem to they can learn and Subhanallah there are various methods if you look at Google's like
for example, one of the philosophers and education educationist that has passed in the Muslim world
is Abner Khaldoon was one of the finest you know, authors of various books to handle especially
		

			focusing on the education how the education must be imparted. So he gave various ways and methods
how to children should be taught, for example, some children, they love to draw things and learn
some children. They learn to fill in the blank. Some children, they learn with a match of the
following some children, they just see it and they learn some children. They learn by interacting
some children, they learn by touching things like you know having that kind of aesthetic touch, look
and feel. That's how they learn.
		

			Some children, they learn but while playing, so, some children, they learn in different methods. So,
find out what is the interest of your child and route him, direct him in a way that he learns that
so learning the stories of the prophets sallallahu alayhi wasallam and the rest of the prophets is
definitely an important thing. And third is about the little children also you need to teach them
values, that this is good, and this is bad, and you need to do good in order to grow in life, you
need to avoid the bad, you give them examples, you give them, you know, examples to their levels,
you know, this is how basically, we say, you actually impart the concept of totally the rissalah
		

			inocula. When your children, they understood that they have to be aware about Allah subhanaw taala
they actually learn to, you know, seen and live righteously, when they learn to know the example the
role model is profit to the level and insulin, they have someone to, to to look at. And number
three, when they know that they will be punished for something that is wrong, and they be rewarded.
Rewarding system is very, very important. You know, in Islamic terror via children, they need to
know that they need to reward and reward and recognize and appreciate and acknowledge and give them
that sense of achievement that they have in their you know, our daily routine. And it's not
		

			necessary for getting good grades in at the end of the year. They can be appreciated every single
day for a simple thing, a simple thing, you know, that you see that is good enough, you appreciate
and give them that boost, after giving them the concept of Allah subhanaw taala in their lives, when
they instill the love of prophets listen in their lives as a role model, when they have the sense of
belief in the hereafter. Then you start teaching them Salah, you know Subhan Allah I asked this
question to myself and all of you, my beloved parents, my beloved brothers and sisters, how many of
us took time, I mean, I'm talking about quality time. When was the last time we took time and teach
		

			our children all the aspects of salah
		

			and it doesn't take more than an hour or two Subhan Allah, you need to teach them by yourself and
Subhanallah when you teach, you are the closest hero for them. When you teach, they will learn in
sha Allah in a better way because you know them and they know you so you teach them fathers my
appeal to each and every one of you mothers my appeal to each and every one of you remember that we
can never get strongly connected with our children, if we keep them disconnected with Allah subhanho
wa Taala mark these words My beloved brothers and sisters, if you want your children to be the
coolness of your eyes, you need to connect them to Allah subhanho wa Taala and Salah does the exact
		

			thing it's a practical demonstration and experience that they actually feel and they gain through
Salah, Salah comes from the root word Salah, it means connection. So when they pray, even the you
know, a younger age for example, two years, three years, even five years, although it is not forced
upon them, although it is not compulsory on them. But when they see you praying they start learning
they don't need to after every single thing that you don't need to fulfill all the pillars because
it's not obliged to them at that age but then they learn by seeing you they learn by you know
listening and your your teaching to them. So take time to to give them Salah Quran, you know Subhan
		

			Allah when you teach them. For example, I begin with more essential how in when was the last time
you taught them? La ilaha illa Allah Muhammad Rasulullah
		

			Allah ilaha illa Allah is the basic kalama that we have, how many of us do we actually take time to
teach them in particular and Subhanallah we tend to rely on others. For this. We tend to rely on the
other you know the shave on the school or the madrasa or something. Remember my beloved brothers and
sisters, let us stop. Let us stop. I repeat, let us stop outsourcing parenting. It won't work. It
can never ever work. Stop outsourcing parenting. Children are yours. You need to take care of it. I
need to take it off. Outsourcing parenting is something which which which leads to fiasco. I mean,
it's extreme failure. So we need to ensure that we are the teachers. We
		

			other leaders, we are the role models, we are the heroes for them. And we need to have that kind of
focus for them. Similarly, the Quran teach them you know much before you hire a teacher, you need to
teach the basics of it to your children, when was the last time you spent half an hour 30 minutes
with your child with a quality, you know, focus, quality time I'm talking about when was it 30
minutes, when was the last time that you sat with the Quran teaching to them Subhan Allah, my
beloved brothers and sisters, one of the biggest problems is we have lot of expectations from our
children, when we do not have investment in a similar way, when you give the input you will get the
		

			output in a similar fashion in Japan Allah it comes in a better way why because when you do good,
when you seek, you know, that which is good in them, Allah has helped, will surely come. And this is
how something which we need to also realize that when you do a little bit, Allah will make it a big
thing in sha Allah and the returns are outstanding Subhana Allah, so Quran, Salah, you know it
during the time of Ramadan, give them the experience. So education, number one, number one, and
obviously with a worldly education, also you there is no harm, they need to excel in both the worlds
at the deen the way of life in Islam, as well as the needs to be excellent in their own education as
		

			well. The methodology, which you know, would depend on children to children, based on their
interest, their likes, their you know, minds, so you adopt those methodologies inshallah, so number
one is education. Number two is environment, if you give education without environment, children are
not going to sustain their learning, meaning they will, they might perhaps learn a thing, but they
will not be able to cope up with that for long term, unless there is a environment created for them.
So, it's, it's very, very important to create a righteous environment, obviously, we want our
children to be righteous, isn't it, you want our children to be pious, we want our children to be
		

			ethically high in standards, when we want all of this, what are we doing in order to see that
outcome. And this is how we actually do it. So we create an environment, we create the environment,
which is so supportive for them, that it's added to their education, insha Allah make sure that the
conflicts of the couples should be completely avoided in front of children, we know that there might
be certain disputes, they might be certain, you know, you know, differences that might happen
between couples and this is inevitable, it's unavoidable. Make sure that this is dealt in a separate
way, not in from the because the impact that they actually, you know, again, they might not say a
		

			word, but the impact they actually have, which will be so negative and this will lead them to their
destruction. May Allah protect us from that. Number three, is engagement, engaging with them in
order to raise them in a better way is very, very important. Subhan Allah, Allah of Buddhism, he
mentions in the Quran very, very important thing. Allahu Akbar, my beloved brothers and sisters.
Listen to what Allah is. He says, He says, You're Latina, amanu or you who believe in Surah hareem.
So number 66 is number six. Yeah, you and Edina amanu who are fusa come, Lee come now Nara, save,
protect yourself and your family, your children from the health fire, Allahu Akbar. Now, let me
		

			remind myself and all of you, most of us, if not all, most of us, we have the perception, we have
the expectation, we have the focus on our children, which is limited to this world. We want to give
them the best of education. If I asked you or if I asked myself, or we asked each other, we know
that they have to be better in living, they will be qualified, they'll have a good job, they can do
a good business or they can actually succeed in this life. This is where our perspective ends. But
Allah reminds us all you will believe or you believe
		

			protect yourself and your family, your children from the hellfire. So we need to have the
perspective that I am
		

			have been given my children as an Amana,
		

			Amana trust and this trust is there with me as long as I'm there or as long as my children are
there. So this trust is there as long as I am there meaning as long as I'm alive or as long as my
children are alive this Amana has to be taken care completely properly and this Amana will will have
to have the vision for this Amana that I need to protect my children ultimately from the Hellfire,
what will be the option left for them? Gen nine Shama. If you protect them from the church from the
Hellfire, they will be getting into Jenna. So, my objective your objective for the engagement
without engagement, we can't protect them. You see Subhana Allah protection is something which is
		

			very common amongst us right protection. We go for protecting, you know, our homes, we lock our
doors when we go out. We do not even share the password for our email ids. We don't share our you
know, pin of ATM cards, we don't even share sometimes the the password of our phones, why? We want
protection? Well, what about the children? What about the children's asherah? How many of us take
extreme care in order to protect our children from the Hellfire every single day, your or my
children are going closer to the Hellfire or going away from the Hellfire? The choice is ours? Where
do we want to lead them? Of course, I am positive I'm sure that every one of us want to protect our
		

			children. You know, I would like to give this example for the sake of understanding may a lot of
briza protect all of us. But for the sake of understanding, let me give you this example. If you see
your children are burning in the in the fund, if there is a fire in your home, what will you do?
Will you leave them? Or will you you know do everything possible to do to take them out. Of course,
you can't see your children in the Hellfire in the fire in this dunya in this fire is nothing when
it's compared to the UN ashira so the amount of care that you have for your children in this dunya
you know if there is an alarm in the in your apartment of fire alarm, what would you do, you will
		

			take your children go, you take your family and go and a lot of research is put on forsaken.
		

			Nah, protect yourself and your children from the hellfire. So this cannot be done without your and
my engagement, we need to be engaged with our children heavily. And Subhanallah this has to be this
has to be you know, taken up at the expense of leaving anything that comes on its way LD beat mobile
phones beat You know, Friends beat anyone, my priority, your priority is to protect my family, my
children from the Hellfire this period, this is it. If anything comes on its way I will remove I
will keep it aside Why? Because I can't risk my own self and my children. Right? That's not, you
know I meant for are meant for. So engagement engage in in a way that is so you know, keen
		

			Subhanallah you need to know who their friends are. You need to know what subjects that they study,
you need to really select the school that they're going to you need to know what their interests
are, you need to understand so you can't get engaged, obviously, if you don't invest time. So
engagement is something really, really important. And then obviously the fourth one is empowerment.
you empower them, you give them energy, every single day, you give them the sense of growth in their
lives, you know, and that is done, as I said, by appreciating acknowledging them, give him them
attention Subhan Allah giving them approvals, giving them that sense of affection, that love that
		

			care, that compassion, and this is the Prophet ik way of parenting. The Prophet parenting was so
empowering Subhanallah that he used to be extremely kind to children. He used to be extremely
engaged with children used to forgive the entire home being there was full of, of Allah, He used to
forget everything when he gets into home and Subhanallah we need to ensure that we engage ourselves
with with, with empowerment, the whole idea of education, the whole idea of an of creating
environment, the whole idea of engagement is what is empowerment. We want them to be empowered in a
way that V
		

			I can see that they are coolness of our eyes a lot of malaria is is inferior for console number 25
iron number 74 and last subhanaw taala says robina habla Minh azwan Gina was the Rio Tina kurata
Aryan what Tina Mama, Allah taught is this drawn to us Subhan Allah, that Allah or our rub, let our
you lead from the spouses, you know, we our the coolness of our eyes, and let the generation that is
going to come be among the Righteous Among the leaders of the of the pious Subhan Allah, one of the
powerful ways of empowering you know, I know every one of us struggle when we deal with our
children. The finest ways, as I said, is making the effort as much as we can, by educating them by
		

			giving the environment by giving them the sense of you know, engagement by giving them the
empowerment and Subhanallah empowerment, giving them whatever we can, can never, ever suffice them
for their upbringing to be righteous. We need to rely finally on Allah azza wa jal. We need to rely
on Allah meaning we need to make Duan a lot of winner is a tortoise to Ibrahim alayhi salam, Robbie
hubballi, Meena Salim oh my lord, oh my lord, Grant me, the children were righteous. Were from the
righteous, Allahu Akbar. And we know he smiled on a Salaam he came as a part of that that beautiful
da Rubble, Rubble. I mean, a lot of Blair is a he's so kind and extreme that he listens to our
		

			dance, we need to ensure my beloved brothers and sisters, that we make dua for our children. When
was the last time that you went into St. Jude and prayed to Raka and went into sujood and prayed
exclusively for the betterment, for the better upbringing for the positive growth for the beautiful,
you know, upbringing of your children. When was the last time you pray to Raka exclusively for that
purpose? Nothing else exclusively for that purpose. You prayed with a concern with a Nia that Allah
is the one to help us right. So a lot of Jesus's was telling, you know, be Sabri was Salah, seek the
help of Allah through patience and prayer. So when was the last time you prayed when you are in sudo
		

			you pleaded a lot of binaries. Robbie Hubli masala when, when was the last time and I want you to
experience this, my beloved brothers and sisters take time at least once a week once a week. Wake up
the last part of the night where Allah azza wa jal comes from the lowest Heaven, you know, the way
that suits His Majesty, he comes in he calls out who is there to ask something so that I can give
you Who is there to seek forgiveness with I can forgive you. So when was the last time you woke up
for that purpose and prayed? Or Allah, I am dealing with my children with so many difficulties. I am
dealing with my children with these challenges. These are the obstacles The one who I love the most
		

			is actually getting distance from me, the one whom I want to be with he is getting disconnected with
me, Oh Allah, I am doing everything possible. I'm educating them I'm giving them the environment.
I'm giving them the empowerment I'm giving them the sense of you know engagement I'm doing
everything your law or a lot of binaries I asked you Robbie hubballi masala he experienced that my
beloved brothers and sisters and you will see tremendous results insha Allah be isn't Allah He to
Allah as we know what the law he has. Allah's promise is true a lot of Malaysia he says first that
he you know, asked me and I shall respond to it, you know a lot of Buddha is that he feels happy
		

			when we go back to him for our affairs to set it right inshallah. So, empowerment, empowerment is
the fourth point or my beloved brothers and sisters, the last he so let me repeat, we talked about
education, he education the first environment number three engagement, number four empowerment. And
finally, all of this has to be done in an M pathetical manners to handle the empathy having the
feeling of each other, put yourself in children's shoes and try to feel how they feel Subhanallah a
lot of times we expect from our level we need to go down to their level and understand what what is
going on in their lives. You know, we have some children who are above 12
		

			1516 even 20s understand what's going on in their life Subhan Allah have the sense of belongingness
with them in terms of feeling them. One of the common mistakes that we actually do with our children
is we try to build barriers between us and them. And this is something which is an obstacle for
upbringing, we need to build bridges, not barriers, we need to build bridges, not barriers, meaning
you need to give them comfort level so that they can come up and openly discuss whatever they want
to and Subhanallah when they get to this level, they would give you and we share with you their
problems and Subhanallah one of the most important thing that we need to do today is to listen to
		

			their problems much before we give them solution, listen to the problems, listen to the issues,
listen to what they are going through, and then provide them fine advise solutions and you will
definitely see something which can help insha Allah isn't lie to Allah. So my beloved brothers and
sisters, empathy, feeling for others, is very, very important when it comes to our approach of their
therapy. And a part of therapy is Subhan Allah.
		

			You know, usually when we want our children to be good, what is its definition of this good in our
minds, we need to be very clear, when we say they have to be good, we need to understand that this
good, should be defined by Allah subhanaw taala. And when a lot of ERISA defines this good, he made
us, you know, very clear in the Quran and in the life of Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the
element of goodness, what is this element of goodness is about values, right? Islam is based on
value system, what is the value system that we need to have in our lives, and we need to instill in
our children so much before we instill in our children we need to have in our lives and the first
		

			place. One of the common mistakes again, we do as parents is we try to teach which we don't
practice. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was an ideal example. We're in North Carolina
Hello Tina Aleem a lot of binaries are made him as the highest standard of character, Allahu Akbar,
he used to practice what he preached. And he is to live by example. This is something which is
absolutely important for us as parents. Number one, we need to have the open mind to learn, we need
to have open mind to learn sometimes with our children, you know, from our children, we learn a lot.
So we need to be open for learning number one, as parents number two, we need to have the the
		

			understanding that most of the children, they do what parents do, not what parents say, let me
repeat most of the children, they do what parents do, not what the parents say so but just by saying
it is not affecting anymore. And I'm sure you will testify to this fact, we need to do what we they
want what we want them to do. So we live by example is something which is very, very important. And
I'm sure every one of you would agree to that. Now, as I said, What is good, what do we want our
children should look like? Right? How do you want to visualize or imagine our children? You know,
where we say that yes, this is how I wanted my children to be SubhanAllah. So number one, for that
		

			we need to really be very clear in what we want to instill in them. So we know that we have to,
number one, instill in them faith based values. When I say faith based values, I mean, that they
should not have Allah Almighty out of their equation in their entire life meaning, faith is
something that can never be compromised at any level. This should be their complete, you know,
		

			upbringing, right, this should be the revolving thing as I said, if they live around La ilaha illa
Allah you would expect that insha Allah they will be obviously, you know, dutiful and respectful to
you in sha Allah. So faith based values is what we need to instill what are the faced with faith
based values. Number one is consciousness, consciousness. The taqwa of Allah subhanaw taala needs to
be instilled in them and this is with three perspectives. We need to teach our children number one
in
		

			Still instill in them, the hope in Allah will instill in them the hope in Allah subhanaw taala. Most
of the children when they grow older, they actually tend to lose their faith in Allah because they
don't have hope in Allah. They see you being varied. They see you being ungrateful they see me you
know are not really fond of, or happy with the situation or patient with the situation. So they tend
to lose hope in Allah subhanaw taala we need to ensure when we instill in them taqwa, the
consciousness, we actually have to have instilled in them hope in Allah subhanaw taala. On the other
hand, we need to instill in them the fear of Allah, you know, it's not just the good news of what
		

			they do, but it's also about you know, the bad news which is the acts like a caution and Subhanallah
when we say you need to instill the fear of Allah, we need to understand what is the fear of Allah
and the first instance, you know, Subhan Allah, we know fear is something which people are afraid
of. people are worried about people they get scared about, right? So the fear of people fear of
things, they actually take you away from that person or thing, but the fear of Allah is very
beautiful. The more you fear Allah, the more you get closer to Allah subhanho wa Taala. This is
taqwa of Allah. You know, when you become more lucky, when you become conscious, when you become
		

			God, fearing when you become pious, you actually get closer to Allah visa. So this is the
perspective that we need to give them that fear of law, meaning you have to get closer to Allah, you
don't want to be in the company of shaitan, you know, because shaytan plays into ways he plays
number one in putting up shuba heart shuba heart means doubts, you know, you don't have to believe
in Allah. You know, I have dealt with some parents who said that, you know, at the age of seven, you
know, at the age of eight, at the age of 10, you know, children, they don't have any more interest
in Salah. They don't have any, you know, real logical reason to believe in Allah. They don't have
		

			any sense of belongingness too fast in the month of Ramadan, they don't have interest in reading
Quran they don't. Why? Because these things are missing. These ground, faith based values were
missing in their lives. And this is how we suffer so, so better to be late than never instill in
them these values in sha Allah, the hope, the fear and in center love, Allah loves you extremely
teach them that Allah loves you, and this is how they become conscious. So one of the common
mistakes that we do in parenting is we try to create fear of us in them. You know, and that's the
reason when they see us, they do things in a proper ways. That is the wrong way. And that's not the
		

			Prophet way of parenting. We need to teach them we need to teach them to fear. Only Allah not the
parents, not the grandparents, not the elders, no one. Yes, we they have to be dutiful to parents.
Yes, they have to be respectful to the parents. Yes, they have to be honorable to their parents. But
fearing having the hersha having the taqwa is only of Allah Subhana husana and the obedience is of
Allah and His Rasool that's it. So when they are obedient to Allah, when they are obeying prophets
at a level and it's gentlemen following his example, what do we expect? Of course, the second thing
that we know a lot of Malaysia mentions in Surah bernisa in Surah, number 17 is number 32. In the
		

			Quran, he says Raka Raka Allah, Allah, wa bill Valley, Dany Sana, it is decreed upon you that you
worship none but Allah and Allah says after worshiping Allah and be dutiful, to your parents, give
them the level of ersan excellence, you know, in everything in speaking in, in replying in living,
your whole life that should be excellent. But when it comes to fearing a loss, fearing and obeying
the commands, it should be only for Allah and His messenger. So we need to give them the concept. We
may be there or not. You need to live
		

			having the consciousness of Allah because you can't hide from Allah anywhere. No matter wherever you
go. Allah sees you, no matter wherever you, you know, close yourself in. Allah knows what's going on
in your heart, what what's going on, and what are your actions. So Subhanallah taqwa is something
which we need to instill in and I'll just read out some of the traits that we need to instill as a
part of values. Of course time won't allow
		

			need to go detail in each pointer, but I'll try to you know, give a state where I feel that the
pointer is important, although these are all important things, you know Subhanallah So, as I said,
faith based values is number one consciousness should give them the teaching of attitude, you know,
gratitude, you know, gratitude is something which is sugar, you know, give them the, the
understanding of how they can actually be happy, by showing gratitude, you know, those people
scientifically also it is proven, logical is it is also seen, those people who carry the attitude of
gratitude, they are always happy, because they are content, they know, you know, they are, they need
		

			to be happy and satisfied and joyful with what they have. So, when you teach the children,
obviously, they don't get frustrated, you know, they don't complain, they don't cry out for those
things, which they don't have rather they will shift the focus for what they have. So, gratitude is
something which is very, very important humanity, you know, having the calm and beautiful behavior
is something which is also very important. Forgiveness, give them the teaching of forgiveness, they
need to forgive their own siblings, they need to forgive whom they do whom, who do wrong to them.
And this is something they can learn from you practically when you do the same. They will learn from
		

			you in sha Allah and forgiveness love, you know, profits in the lower end insulin, his parenting,
what skills was absolutely marvelous, excellent parenting skills. So Pamela was absolutely
compassionate, and and loving to the children. So Subhana love, this is something which is really,
really important for us to focus on, give love to them, you know, I want to ask you, when was the
last time that you hug your child, you know, in your laps, when was the last time you kissed on
their forehead? When was the last time that you hold their hands and went to the masjid or did
something engaging? You know, Subhan Allah, we know the example of Ibrahim Ali Salaam, he when was
		

			when he was instructed by Allah to build Kava, he took the support of food, he took the support of
his mind and his cinnamon both the father and son being the prophets of Allah. They built Kaaba, so
involve them in righteousness and Subhana. Allah, this is something that comes out when you love
them, when you hug them, when you kiss them, and you show them that they are I love you, I love you
for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala. In respect them respect in, in the in a very clear, it's
clear set boundaries, we need to give them respect as well. morality is something which we need to
teach them as a value in their lives. Trust, give them something and let them keep it as a trust and
		

			you ask them, if that's that's there with them properly or not. So they will start building the
trust, you know, you know, for things and they need to have trust in Allah subhanaw taala give them
the small teaching, you know, simple examples, you know, the one who is controlling the end
pirating. When Allah subhanaw taala says in Allah, Allah,
		

			Allah, Allah is the is the one who has the power over all things. So logically, my son, whom do you
think that you should, you know, put your trust in someone who is absolutely powerful, or someone
who has who has no power at all on themselves alone, you know, leave aside, you know, other things
and other people. So obviously, he will say, the one who is extremely powerful. So that's how you
give them the element of trust in Allah subhanaw taala truthfulness is something which is really,
really important value, which is faith based value that we need to instill in them, you know, you,
most of the children, they lie, because they fear their parents and not a lot of briza. So remove
		

			your fear and instill the fear of Allah, they get closer to Allah and they will speak, you know the
truth, you have to give them the room to fail in their lives. Let them fail in their lives.
		

			And you need to push them to come out of that failure and go to the path of success. Let them have
the ability to face failure. Why? Because you need to teach them life is a test and test has a
nature, which is sometimes you pass sometimes you fail, but your journey, your struggle, you're
striving you're trying must continue. So you need to know to get up, not give up. You need to teach
them get up. Don't give up. Never give up. Cry. Not but you try every time. Try not Don't cry over
things right, but try and you will inshallah survive. So keep praying, keep praying so give them the
element of of prayer in their lives. How important
		

			It is, you know, prayer Salah is something which is tightly connected with our lives as Subhanallah
we have apart from the obligatory ones, of course, that keeps us programmed towards righteousness,
apart from that, the Salah for everything that we have, you know, so for example, you have Salah to
the Hara. So for example, if your child wants to buy something, for example, you know, recently, I
would like to share an example of my own son, when he wanted to buy something for him, I told him,
you know, you, you, you do this to her, you you pray and ask Allah take counsel from Allah subhanaw
taala, whether that thing is good for you or not, so he did, and this is how you actually connect
		

			them with Allah subhanho wa Taala and give them cooperation, you know, give them cooperation,
cooperate with them, have that element of wisdom and care for them. Insha Allah, this is something
which is also very important integrity, you know, their own self esteem, they have their own self
respect, give them that kind of thing. And sincerity is something which is again, a very high based
value insha Allah that we need to give them, give them a deep sense of conviction, you know, yaqeen
in Allah subhanaw taala believe in themselves, that they can do it. It's not about scoring good
grades, having higher percentage in their in their exams, they need to pass their life exam much
		

			more than any other exam. So that's how they learn to face challenges in their life. Give them that
real time, upbringing, inshallah, you will see amazing results and give them authentic touch,
meaning. Let them be who they are. Don't try to, you know, put your personality in them in the sense
that sometimes they have their own wishes, sometimes they have their own interests, sometimes they
have their own passions to drive, you know, you do not have to I do not have to interfere as long as
it doesn't go against the Quran and the Sunnah. Let them drive the lives authentically, genuinely
the way they want insha Allah give them the teaching of the value that is repentance, you know,
		

			there is something called as in Islam, turning back so you for example, you go, you know, to, to to
some weight, but you you you realized that no, that's the wrong way What do you do? You take a U
turn. So in life mean to take u turns teach them in life, we need to take Newton's every one of us
commit mistake, I commit mistake, I have weaknesses, I have shortcomings. And similarly you do so
when you do what do you do, you don't cry out of the situation and leave it and give up No, you get
up and move where you turn, come back to right path. And that's how you go in your lives. Insha
Allah and teach our children the value of asking Allah the habit of asking a lunch and thanking
		

			Allah subhanho wa Taala for example, you know, we need to have this this element of giving them the
as I said, the attitude of gratitude, you know, they need to understand that anything that they are
getting is a blessing from Allah, although it is given by us, but we become the agent of giving that
you know, we become the means to give to get that, but the source is Allah subhanaw taala let them
have this clarity and to Allah they should tank. So, for example, I have a practice of asking my
children to you know, do the such such the off shoe Chrono you know, thank Allah by prostrating. So,
for example, he passed in the HIV exam, he does the shoe Chrono if he gets anything he does shoe
		

			Chrono, the sujood is what he gains the momentum and a lot of will is his promises what the inertia
curtain
		

			if you are grateful, I will increase. So obviously the profitable person is the one who invest in in
a way where he directly gets from the source that which is increased in sha Allah. So these are some
of the values that you and myself, we have to instill in them in sha Allah by which are through
which we'll be able to see astounding results Subhan Allah and take joint decisions in life, you
know, even if they have to do anything that they want in their lives, make sure that you consult
them. Make sure that you talk to them. Make sure that you communicate with them, make sure that you
give their or take their confidence in the decision that you are doing. Obviously, we as parents, we
		

			have a wider perspective, wider wisdom, better knowledge than them, but when you involve them,
engage them take their consultation in things that they want to do, or we want to take as decisions
		

			You know, they will be with that decision. inshallah, for example, when we, myself and my spouse,
when we decided to take a break for two years for my eldest child, you know, for his we sat together
we discussed, we talk about the good and the bad, the, the, the right way of getting into the
consultation to be acknowledgement from from my own son. And then we went ahead and Alhamdulillah
This is how we actually have to participate in their, you know, process of taking things together.
So, these are the values that we need to actually instill in them. And that's how we can expect
something which is astounding, something which is better. So we we visualize a righteous child, we
		

			visualize a conscious child, we visualize a child with a lot of patience, we visualize a child who
is you know, forgiving a child who is with the, with the attitude of gratitude, these are the trades
that we will, that this is a process, not a matter. tarbiyah is a process. So it's a long term,
everyday routine is a process, not a matter. So it's not a recipe that you go and get from the
market and then you give it to your child and then things are done. No, this is a process a part and
parcel of a parcel of life, and we as parents also and I would like to conclude with this, we need
to ensure that we do not have to give up, you know, our faith in Allah subhanaw taala even though if
		

			we have a very challenging child, a very difficult choice to deal with never lose hope in Allah
subhanho wa Taala la tekna to me Rahmatullah. Don't ever be hopeless in the mercy of Allah subhanho
wa Taala we are doing things for Allah, we are given the blessing By Allah, we need to teach them to
live for Allah subhanho wa Taala May Allah subhanho wa Taala make all our children the coolness of
our eyes and raise them as the leaders of righteous insha Allah and make them the the the children
who can help us even after we depart from this world, in sha Allah, wa Hilda Juana, and in hamdu
Lillahi Rabbil aalameen.