Ahmad Saleem – The True Definition of Masculinity in Islam
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AI: Transcript ©
In our series that we carry on and
continuing in, which is correcting concepts, last week
we touched upon the concept of chivalry or
masculinity, rojoola, and we talked about the various
different angles that Quran has taken for us
so that you and I can have a
definition of what this chivalry or masculinity entails.
Is it young men with long mustaches and
big beards?
Is it having muscular bodies?
Is it that you are strong?
Is it that you have a position, a
C-level position in a company, a good
car and a big house?
What are the definitions of chivalry and masculinity
in sharia and in specific in the Quran?
Prophet ﷺ, he once, again correcting concepts, he
saw some of the sahabas and they were
sitting with one another and they were mocking
at the skinny and feeble legs of Abdullah
ibn Mas'ud.
Abdullah ibn Mas'ud, he climbed up the
tree and as he climbed up, obviously your
shin and your calves get exposed but he
had a really skinny, so the men, they
were like, they were laughed at it.
They were like, look at these feeble weak
legs and they were laughing.
So Prophet ﷺ saw them mocking and laughing
the skinny legs of Abdullah ibn Abbas radiyallahu
anhu, Abdullah ibn Mas'ud and then he
turns to them, he said wallahi these legs
are heavier than Uhud in the eyes of
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
So is it that muscular structure that we
so dearly and some of our young men
want to achieve?
What is it?
What is masculinity?
Umar radiyallahu anhu, once he sat with the
sahaba and he said, ask, tamannu, make a
wish.
What do you want to wish for?
Somebody's like, oh I wish I get this
and I wish I get this and there
was a list.
Then when they were done with wishing everything,
they said, ya ameer al mu'mineen, you make
a wish.
It's your turn, like we've done our part,
your turn.
And he says, I wish that Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala atamanna law anna li rijal.
I wish I had men like Ubaidah ibn
Jarrah and Mu'adh ibn Jabal and Abi
Hudhayfa.
So I use them and I seek help
from them.
I use them so that I can be
a source, they can be a source of
raising and venerating and sanctifying the kalima of
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Another time, these are ajib, some of the
men were equal to zero, while others were
equal to hundred, while others were equal to
a thousand.
Once, Khalid ibn Waleed, he was in a
place and he was trying to free a
land in Bilad al-Hayrah and he was
over there towards the upper portions of Sham
and he recognized that he ran out of
army and he's gonna need some support and
he's gonna need some backup.
So he pauses the expedition and sends a
message to none other than Abu Bakr at
that time, radiAllahu anhu.
Abu Bakr radiAllahu anhu arsala lahu rajulun wahid.
Abu Bakr sent him one man.
When the man arrives, Khalid ibn Waleed reads
the message and it says, ya Khalid, oh
Khalid, arsaltu laka, I have sent for you
rajulun, one man, bi alfi rajul.
He's equal to a thousand men.
And he was none other than Taqaa bin
Amr al-Tamin.
Nobody could wrestle him.
So he was not just the physical strength,
the awe that people have for his presence
as a man was so terrifying for people
that they could not stand in front of
him.
Another time, this was during the Khilafah of
Umar radiAllahu anhu, Zubayr ibn al-Awwam, he
is the brother-in-law of Prophet salAllahu
alayhi wa sallam, married to the sister.
So Aisha and Asmaa bint Abu Bakr, they're
both sisters and Zubayr ibn al-Awwam is
the brother-in-law of Prophet salAllahu alayhi
wa sallam.
And Miqdad ibn Amr, so sorry, Amr ibn
al-As was in Egypt and he was
on the expedition of opening Egypt.
And he asks Umar radiAllahu anhu, can you
send me some help?
I am in desperate need.
He sent four men.
Zubayr ibn al-Awwam, the brother-in-law
of Rasulullah salAllahu alayhi wa sallam, Miqdad ibn
Amr, Ubadah ibn Samit and Maslamah ibn Makhlad
radiAllahu anhu ajma'in.
And Umar sent a letter for them.
وقال لهم يا عمر ابن العاص مددتك بأربع.
I have helped you with four.
رجال, they're all men.
كل منهم, every single one of these يساوي
ألف رجل.
I've sent you an army of four thousand
men equal to four.
So what are they talking about?
I mean this is, and the list can
go on, the list can go on.
For example, one of the times the Khalifa,
Umawi Khalifa, he saw a young man, he
was sent by a qawm from Yemen, I
forgot the name, but you know that comes
and he was a young man.
So that Khalifa, he says, اذهب, leave.
I will not talk to somebody like you,
bring me أسن منك, bring me somebody older
than you.
So this is a young man, he says
فقال الشاب يا أمير المؤمنين لو كانت تقدموا
بالسن.
Oh, Ameer al-Mu'mineen, if the matter was
about age, لكان في الأمة من هو أولى
منك.
There are much older people than you, and
I mean if it was a matter of
an age, then you're not even worthy of
being an Ameer because there's much more older
people than that.
فسكت له خليفة فقال له تكلم.
So these were men, they held on to
some responsibilities.
This masculinity of ours, which sadly has been
looked down upon in the recent times, in
the last 10 years, you can't even talk
about it and these words of toxic masculinity
and all of this is misunderstood because masculinity
is not about a man going in his
house and asserting his power.
Masculinity is not about going and screaming at
your wife and kids and they're terrified from
you.
Masculinity is not about you being in your
job, a tyrant, and everyone is scared of
you.
Masculinity is not about a bully.
That's not what men do.
That's a misunderstood concept.
That's only manliness.
See, there are two different things.
One is jibilli.
You were born as a man, you can't
control that.
But you choose to become a man.
They're two different things.
You're born as a man, that's one thing.
But when you make the choice to become
a man, that is jibilli.
That is something you attract.
So last week we talked about رِجَالٌ صَدَقُ
مَا عَهَدُ اللَّهِ These are people who fulfill
the promises.
Anything that they have promised with Allah and
people, they hold on to their words.
They're true to their words.
When the going becomes difficult, they don't back
down.
When they have to speak up against that
which is injustice, they stand up even if
there are consequences.
They don't bend down.
And we talked about it, for those of
you that missed it, you can go back
and listen to that khutbah.
And then we said there were other attributes.
Before we get into the next attribute, this
masculinity of ours, not manliness, not being a
gender male, the masculinity Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala talks about it as an imtinan.
It is a blessing that Allah has given
us.
Where Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, when
in Surah al-Kahf, the person says to
this his friend, أَكَفَرْتَ بِالَّذِي خَلَقَكَ مِنْ تُرَابٍ
ثُمَّ مِنْ نُطْفَةٍ ثُمَّ سَوَّاكَ رَجُولًا Are you
denying the one who has created you from
a *, a cup of *, then he
formed you and fashioned you into rajul.
If you read the entire Quran, many times
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has removed the
names of individuals who stood up against tyrants
but left you a specimen of masculinity.
And we'll talk about that.
Today's verse is لَمَسْجِدٌ أُسِّسَ عَلَى التَّقْوَى Where
are these men going to be found?
In masajids.
Allah says لَمَسْجِدٌ and as for the masjid
أُسِّسَ عَلَى التَّقْوَى The foundation of masajids, the
foundation of every masjid should be taqwa.
It shouldn't be that I support this group
or that group or this section or that
section.
That's not why, those masajids never flourish.
Because these are the houses of Allah and
Allah should be the greatest above all of
our divides and disconnects and differences.
When we stand and we say Allahu Akbar,
we're all unified in that.
We set aside our agendas, we set aside
our political agendas, whatever people may have, we
set aside our minute differences.
95 to 96 percent of us of the
sharia is unified and we're all united.
لَمَسْجِدٌ أُسِّسَ عَلَى التَّقْوَى The foundation of our
masajids should be taqwa.
We should get really angry when somebody is
not living up to that taqwa.
Because in this house, in any masjid of
Allah, taqwa is the barometer.
لَمَسْجِدٌ أُسِّسَ عَلَى التَّقْوَى مِنْ أَوَّلِ يَوْمٍ And
this is talking about Quba but it's also
giving you a foundation that that masjid will
flourish if from day one the foundation was
not factions but Allah.
عَلَى التَّقْوَى And then Allah says, أَحَقُّ أَن
تَقُومَ فِيه To Prophet ﷺ that those are
the masajids that you should seek out.
It is talking about Masjid Darar but that's
a side note.
Then Allah says what?
فِيهِ رِجَالٌ In those masajids you will find
men.
What's the quality that Allah describes about these
men?
فِيهِ رِجَالٌ يُحِبُّونَ أَن يَتَطَهَّرُ They love to
be pure.
They're pure in their bodies.
They're pure in their clothes.
They're pure in their hearts.
They focus on purity from inside and out.
They're focused in this element of cleansing themselves.
They're not focused and, and oh look at
this person's عَيْب and look at this person
look at this and that.
They're not focused on others.
They're focused on يَتَطَهَّرُ They're trying to cleanse
themselves of all the ailments of the hearts.
They're trying to cleanse themselves of physical impurities.
They're trying to keep a look that is
beautiful.
That's why Prophet ﷺ when he was commanded
in Surah Al-Mudathir وَثِيَابَكَ فَطَهِّرُ Purify your
thawb.
The ulema they said the thiyab there are
seven meanings of it.
Number one is the dress of yours.
Number two is your heart.
Number three is your mind.
Number four is the place where you pray.
Number five is the way you carry yourself.
Number six is the way you walk.
Number seven is the way you talk.
وَثِيَابَكَ فَطَهِّرُ Purify your existence.
Thawb that covers you.
فِيهِ رِجَالٌ يُحِبُّونَ أَن يَتَطَهَّرُوا وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ
And Allah loves those who wants and their
focus is mutatahirin.
Their quality that Allah describes are that they're
just focused on cleansing themselves.
وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ May Allah make us from
those.
Allah loves those who are focused on that.
Then Allah ﷻ says in another ayah, فِي
بُيُوتٍ أَذِنَ اللَّهُ أَن تُرْفَعَ وَيُذْكَرَ فِيهِ هَسْمُهُ
Right?
These are the houses in which Allah's names
are being venerated.
بِالْغُدُوبِ وَلَا أَصَالِ In the morning and the
evening.
Why is this?
رِجَالٌ There are men in those houses.
لَا تُلْهِيهِمْ تِجَارَةٌ Their trade and commerce does
not distract them from Allah.
لَا تُلْهِيهِمْ تِجَارَةٌ وَلَا بَيْعٌ No commerce or
trade or job or seeking money ever comes
in the way of Allah.
That's a man.
A man is where Allah is first and
his job is second.
A man is where Allah comes first, his
family, his job, everything comes second.
And not only that, over here Allah is
saying, لَا تُلْهِيهِمْ It doesn't distract them.
Let alone get occupied with it.
SubhanAllah.
لَا تُلْهِيهِمْ تِجَارَةٌ وَلَا بَيْعٌ عَنْ ذِكْرِ اللَّـهِ
وَإِقَامِ الصَّلَاةِ They are not distracted from what
things.
Number one, the dhikr of Allah, remembrance of
Allah.
Ask ourselves, how many of us have daily
wirds?
How many of us have at least 100
SubhanAllah and 100 Alhamdulillah and 100 Allahu Akbar
daily?
How many of us have the wird of
Allahumma salli ala Muhammad 100 times?
How many of us do astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah
for verily the Prophet ﷺ in one majlis
would have been heard over 70 times seeking
istighfar if he had not committed any sin,
ﷺ?
How much are we in need of that
dhikr to resuscitate our dying hearts?
How much are we in need of that
dhikr and that remembrance to moisten our tongues
and to plant the trees in Jannah so
that when we enter we see every single
tree when you say SubhanAllah, Allah plants a
tree and that tree, the length of it
if a bird was to fly and the
shade of that tree for 500 years would
not cross.
SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar.
فِيهِ رِجَالٌ لَا تُلِهِهِمْ تِجَارَةٌ وَلَا بَيْعٌ Their
commerce, trade, jobs does not distract them عَنْ
ذِكْرِ اللَّهِ بَيْعٌ عَنْ ذِكْرِ اللَّهِ from the
remembrance of Allah and then when you are
in that state of remembrance وَإِقَامِ الصَّلَاةِ establishing
prayer every single one of us irrespective if
you're a man and you don't have an
excuse you don't have an excuse we have
to be in the masjids for salah and
if you're living in these lands and sometimes
the jobs are difficult I've done corporate world
too then at least we strive to pray
in jama'ah even in the corporate towers
find a musalla, get a couple of buddies
and pray together and as a Muslim try
to make sure that you're here either fajr
or isha one of the two there's no
reason why this masjid is filled in juma
'ah and for isha we have four lines
there's a real question mark on every single
one of us as a man by these
definitions we cannot get distracted oh I'm too
tired I just got home from work not
accepted in the eyes of Allah as an
excuse because about your jobs Allah says نَحْنُ
نَرْزُقُهُمْ وَإِيَّاكُمْ I don't ask you to provide
for your families we give food to them
and to you وَإِقَامِ الصَّلَاةِ وَإِيْتَاءِ الزَّكَاةِ giving
zakat I was shocked the other day I
was at lunch with somebody and the person
did not even know the ahkam of zakat
and he's 55 years of age he said
oh sheikh I didn't know I have $30
,000 of cash I have to put zakat
on that or $50,000 of cash I'm
like you've been 55 these are our pillars
we cannot meet Allah SWT if we're neglecting
our zakat وَإِتَاءِ الزَّكَاةِ and zakat is wajib
we can't wait till oh I want more
ajr so I will give it in Ramadan
if your nisab the minimum amount which is
roughly $5,000 if you have savings of
that in your bank you have to give
2.5% of that it's not a
zakat course but you know depending on your
gold and stuff it gets complicated but again
you have to give you can't wait because
every single day you wait according to the
majority of the scholars the person is sinful
it's literally like qada of salah because after
your hawl after your one year is complete
حَلَّ عَلَيْكَ الزَّكَاتِ وَجَبَتْ عَلَيْكَ zakat becomes wajib
every day you delay for every day there
is a delay then Allah SWT says وَإِيْتَاءِ
الزَّكَاةِ يَخَافُونَ يَوْمًا تَتَقَلَّبُ فِيهِ الْقُلُوبُ وَالْأَبْصَارُ
يَخَافُونَ يَوْمًا تَتَقَلَّبُ فِيهِ الْقُلُوبُ وَالْأَبْصَارُ their fear
is not oh how am I going to
provide for my family how am I going
to provide for my next generation do I
have enough savings how is my 401k, how
is my this and that that's not their
fears Allah says their fear is يَخَافُونَ their
fear is only one which is يَوْمًا تَتَقَلَّبُ
فِيهِ الْقُلُوبُ وَالْأَبْصَارُ يَوْمًا تَتَقَلَّبُ فِيهِ الْقُلُوبُ
وَالْأَبْصَارُ the hearts and the eyes would be
looking left and right and they will be
in trembling state on the day of judgment
their only fear is they have to stand
in front of Allah SWT may Allah grant
us the tawfiq and the ability to start
with at least one of those things and
build it in our lives and if I
was to start with something I would start
with salah so every single one of us
that is here and close by to the
masjid make an intention that you wanna be
here for isha today make an intention because
you make the intention Allah fulfills it's the
intention that counts أقول قولي هذا وأستغفر الله
لي ولكم ولسائر المسلمين فاستغفرو فإنه هو الغفور
الرحيم ...
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