Abu Taymiyyah – The 7 Commandments To A Successful Marriage
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AI: Transcript ©
Alhamdulillah As salam o alaikum brothers and sisters, what you're
looking at right now is a camel, the whole dropped dead. It dropped
dead due to thirst. This camel was from a region called Cholistan. In
Pakistan to desert there's been struck by in drought, it's
excessively hot right now, and the water has not come. And the
animals are dropping like this all over what you have to understand
about this place, that it is a community that lives off the
cattle they live off the elements when the animals start dying, know
that the humans are going to start dying next, the way these animals
are dropping on the streets are thirsty dropping dead humans will
start dropping dead like this very very shortly if they do not get
the aid and the help with the permission of Allah. We're
currently raising funds on behalf of humanity care relief to set up
filtration plants so that this community can get water for the
animals and for themselves to drink from and to do to harder
from tomorrow because these children have mentioned this
animal died of thirst because it had no decent water to drink.
Please allows you to donate as generously as you can for Allah
sake the link below so we can make a change for these people's lives
in the long term. And I asked you to do this quickly before you
watch the video. Just pause make that donation and then carry on
watching and Sharla
Hamdi Leigh Okafor wa salatu salam ala Nubian Mustafa and we just
have a
Santa Monica warning to lie or Marketo
mashallah the message is packed why because of marriage
everybody here I think is either I think most promise
a single say hey, we handle you're married
it's like five out of the
how many hundreds who came with 100 maybe more
like
their respective brothers and sisters.
As you guys are aware, today we want to cover in shallow Tala
seven principles,
marriage.
These are principles that
can be benefited from by those who are single. And also those who are
married.
A brother and a sister
are making dua throughout the whole year and here Allah
grant me a spouse
that is going to help me fulfill the other half of my religion
right?
Constantly begging Allah subhanho wa Taala
asking him to better the situation that we are in.
However, how is it that we actually react? The moment we are
given that which we have been crying out for
throughout this time?
The first principle brothers and sisters is
your relationship with Allah subhanho wa Taala can go a very,
very long way.
In what happens in your merge.
I'm sure most of us have come across a triangle on the free
Masonic signer
the Freemason sign the triangle
that has what?
three corners?
Who would we normally find at the top?
Allah subhanaw taala? Who do we have on the other two corners?
The husband and the wife
whenever they do something that is pleasing to Allah subhanaw taala
they gain closeness to him.
Right? And you see the husband and the wife getting closer results.
guys agree with that. Just imagine this triangle, right? Got the
husband and the wife here.
The more
they do acts of worship, acts of righteousness, acts of good. They
want to get closer to Allah. And they themselves are getting closer
as they
say.
And when they are disobedient individuals
who don't do what they should be doing,
what happens
they become more and more distant. And even between themselves they
become more distant
place together. So I've come across that pause before right
if not a moment to lie it
Here's Kitab a dealt with
a spiritual sickness that is cure. And by the way, brothers and
sisters this book, I'm an advocate for it. It changed my life.
Right? And it changed the way I look at people's problems. It
really really did.
He quotes the self of the past. And when we say self we intend by
the three golden generations. He said all a battle of self. Some of
the self mentioned in ni la silla wa Rahmatullah urine feed that but
even Marathi I disobey Allah subhanaw taala. And then all of a
sudden, I begin to see a change of attitude in my life, and also my
writing list.
You leave the house,
everything seems to be perfectly fine.
Take a visit
a local corner shop and there is an attractive shopkeeper there and
you start engaging with him more than you should
you come back home. First thing that you see is the back of a
head.
First thing that you see the moment you walk into the house is
the back of her head.
And you're asking yourself, why is she behaving like that?
Might be a good idea in times like this, to really just hold yourself
to account and this is why one of the key words that we are going to
be walking away with today is being self critical.
This is the type of mindset that we need to have brothers and
sisters.
Not just when things start going wrong in our marriages.
Generally speaking as Muslims, when something goes wrong in our
lives, what is the kind of reaction and attitude that we
should have? Because the way we are as human beings, right, we are
ready to point the finger at everyone except ourselves a great
one whenever something goes wrong, right? Waiver looking at making
things up just so we can what remove the blame from ourselves.
We are in denial.
Don't ever forget this brothers and sisters in ni la silla. Wa
Rahmatullah you're on feed that Betty Emirati I disobey Allah
subhanho wa Taala and then all of a sudden I begin to see a change
of attitude in my wife and also in my writing list.
I will surely inshallah Allah give you guys some examples of the self
of the righteous of the past, in how
they were self critical of themselves. The moment things
started going downhill. Oh, and things now took a turn for the
West.
But before I do that, brothers and sisters,
as I mentioned right at the beginning, you're begging Allah
subhanho wa taala.
Throughout the years prior to your marriage, yeah, Allah grant me a
righteous spouse.
Make things easy for me.
I've been waiting, waiting. Yeah, Allah. I'm scared of the fitna.
And then Princess Charming comes along. Right.
Then comes the big day.
What I'll say Don't embarrass the Morocco met him.
Well, I'll say turn me back the Morocco Metro hipbone.
Okay,
Allah subhanho wa Taala it was an operon you disobeyed Allah azza wa
jal
after he showed you what you really love, you know when this
verse came down brothers and sisters in the Battle of
messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam place 50 With companions on
the Jebel called Jebel Romain.
The brothers may have seen some flat brothers give our given
reminder on this mountain. We all have right.
My Salon was sent and placed 50 of his companions on this mountain.
And he told them no matter what happens
even if you see beds, snatching off the fighters from off of the
ground, then don't come off.
He plays I'm delighted that you were in charge.
And mashallah
Muslims they would defeat in a kuffaar and they started what?
Running away. Muslims are running behind them.
Those on the mountain
began to say to themselves and honeymoon honeymoon. The war booty
the war booty the spoils, Hala has the war's over.
Some of the companions were on that small mountain, they said,
Didn't the messiness allottee was Selim say, don't come off the
mountain.
They were like no harass is done. So they started running off.
Holiday, nobody noticed this, it came behind them.
And then the Muslims
were attacked from behind.
And this incident, my beloved brothers and sisters, led to the
message of Salah Ali with sums helmet being smashed.
His teeth being crushed, and his face being cashed
because of what
an instruction of being followed, it led to defeat.
One of the verses that came down was what I say to members of the
Mohawk movement he
disobeyed Allah subhanaw taala, after he showed you what you
really wanted, what you really loved, why am I speaking about the
Battle of his brothers and sisters in a marriage lecture?
Shut up never Athenian to lie on a one time use this verse what I say
to embody Muhammad a boon in terms of, or in relation to
a sister
begs Allah subhanaw taala throughout the year, he or Allah
grant me, a righteous husband, then comes the big day.
How is this marriage
which we hope to be blessed it started off with music, free
mixing, so on and so forth.
Like, a couple of hours ago was asked by one of the relatives
as to whether it is permissible
for a husband to allow his wife to attend some of these weddings,
which have free mixing and so on and so forth. An evil that is
taking place. Is it allowed other men are going to be coming and
looking at your wife?
Even if we said that there is nothing wrong with it? Islamically
which of course isn't the case? Where's your real? Are you aware
your
where's your protective jealousy?
Your wife has gone to the wedding in order to dress to impress.
Right? And other men are going to be gazing at her and you don't
have a problem with that. Hey, no jeweler, where's your manhood?
So anyways, beggar loves Parramatta Yalla, allow me to get
married, whether you're a male or a female.
Then comes the big day. Instead of being thankful we're asleep,
embodiment, or automatic hippo
men coming up to dunya or men coming up to you disobeyed Allah
subhanaw taala.
After he showed you what you really, really wanted,
like somebody who does you a favor, and then what you throw
back in his face,
you throw it back in his face SubhanAllah.
Right.
And then you expect
your marriage to be void of problems, brothers and sisters.
And what's even worse than that my brothers and my sister, we take
all of the sins that take place in this marriage or in this wedding.
Right on this big day.
And we put it on one side of the scale.
And we put on the other side of the scale.
Taking a house on mortgage,
right?
Without a shadow of a side, without a shadow of a doubt, the
sign will outweigh the other
Do you not realize brothers and sisters, that you have just
started a war with Allah. And this is very, very what common in Asian
communities especially in the Bengali community.
Right I don't want anybody take offense yesterday was blasting the
Somalis invested reseller.
And they were like, yes, you're right. thought was gonna get
chased out of the Masjid. Somebody missed it. They were like, yes,
you're right.
I don't call out certain cultures to have a go at them. Like we're
trying to rectify the situation. Let's be honest with ourselves. A
lot of us are in denial.
Right? You want to start off this Blessed Sacrament.
Right. Is a sacrament, sacrament. You understand that this Blessed
Sacrament with what we've sin and the worst of sins, and then you
expect everything to
to be what smooth
You have just started a war with Allah azza wa jal brothers
sisters, then we'll be Harbin Allah who also
you have indeed started a war with Allah. Yeah you Alladhina
Tapachula How are the rumors about the Amina Riba in Quinta? mumineen
final mtef Allah then will be Harbin Allah He was.
That's the reality brothers and sisters.
That's the reality
sometimes I'm solving the problems of married couples.
And I am invited to the home
like brothers and sisters. It's not rocket science to understand
as to why so many things are going wrong in this marriage.
just me sitting there I can see 101 things wrong.
The sister walks in as if it's her day of getting married. Was the
way she is dressed.
Right.
And then a sister So speaking about the husband
again it's not rocket science to the Sun why there is what 101
things wrong
right fuel walking around the streets of London with the way you
dress my sister how do you expect ever right the situation to become
better? How?
Alarm style
put your hand up have you heard of hammering serine
the reason why some of you said if he's heard about him it's because
of a very well known statement in the handwriting within from the
Ramona Hello Nadine.
This knowledge is your religion. Be extra careful who you take your
religion from?
Yes, it's a very valid point you need to be extra careful where you
take your religion from.
However, is that the only thing that even the Syrian amatola Allah
was known to have ever said
the moment you mentioned his name the first thing that pops to mind
is men hedge related issues say hey
man hey check.
By
Mohammed mystery my beloved brothers and sisters
was from the students of Abu Huraira Tara the Allahu taala. And
I don't think about it requires an introduction.
The poet he says a silty in his 1000 line poetry when it looks you
know on a freeway to Assam, Abu Hurayrah to Lebanon
on an array to the monster hottie Liberator and then until Abdullah
Mohammed the scene was from the students of Ebola the alarm to
Island
honeybee Syrian was thrown into prison.
You know why?
Because of him being struck with
a lot of debt.
And what normally would happen is, and certain places around the
world can't pay back, they'll Chuck into prison for some period.
Anyways, that's what happened to Hamilton City.
Why did he have an increase of debt?
As a businessman, and those who know know this, right?
You won't always buy things outright, you take things on
credit. So hey, you take your own credit, you sell it and then you
pay the
creditor back.
After taking the goods, you're now the data, you sell it, you pay the
money back that you made from the goods that you bought, right, of
course, you keep your profits and then however much you bought it
for
and that it will pay back say for the credit and also the data.
He bought zoot oils
after buying the oils,
or all of a sudden he found a rat that was stuck inside of this oil
and he had no option except to pour it out.
He had no option except to pour it out.
Now he's in trouble brothers and sisters. You've taken these goods
on credit.
Right you think the creditor is going to just let you off like
that, like he wants his money. He wants his money brothers and
sisters.
Out there Allahumma Shafaq was thrown into prison.
What do you think honeybees Syrian said and done. They stop pointing
the gun at everyone except himself. We as human beings. The
way we are is when things go wrong.
We are ready to point the finger at everyone except ourselves.
Basically Derek isn't so
we make things up
at times, he could have easily he could have easily
blamed the one who sold them the Zoot could have accused him of
listen, you knew what was inside of the zoo, but you cheated me.
You deceived me. However, he did not do that.
What did he say?
I hear to Roger and if Lassie sublessor, Athena Salim,
I degraded.
I meant that I came across 30 years ago. What did he say about
him?
He degraded him for being bankrupt.
Sometimes you say it's his fault, why he's bankrupt.
He himself is to blame. He probably done X, Y and Zed and
because of that, he's suffering from that.
So
sometimes we are to statements like that right? Instead of making
die for that individual,
right? asking Allah subhanho wa Taala to protect us from that. We
look down at others. Just yesterday, I was mentioning Right?
that some communities
very, very common.
When they see a sister impregnated outside of wedlock, the whole
street start speaking about her, look at her Allama Stan
and they start making some very, very
foul judgments. She made a mistake. She sin, everyone makes a
mistake. But then instead of making die for her,
what happens brothers and sisters
they degrade her. They speak ill of her alongside
and before you know it, it comes back to haunt that mother,
who's degrading another woman's daughter.
And I've witnessed this with my own eyes, brothers and sisters.
Mothers crying
that their daughters now have gone astray.
Right? The exact same thing happened to her daughter that she
was degrading another form. There's a weak narration for the
scholars, they mentioned it in their books, has even become the
saying of some scholars, man, Ira, how we then been living mo
Tatiana, whoever the grades an individual for a sin that he
committed, he won't die until he commits that very soon. Be extra
careful, brothers. This is with what comes out of your mouth.
You're practicing now you come to the museum. Don't ever walk past
an individual looking down on him.
Because it could only be a matter of time before it ends up
happening to you.
So that makes sense. And he's going back to what happened to him
how he receding. He said I degraded an individual because of
his bankruptcy 30 years ago now. It happened to me.
panela
look how self critical they were of themselves when things started
going wrong. Brothers and sisters. When things start going wrong
brothers and sisters stop pointing the finger at everyone except
yourself. Luke Wagner Jews Rahmatullah and I mentioned when
commenting on this incident, he says while Miss Luhan cathedra
woman is the Avatar, what are Herman what are the southern inlab
is Elena anaphor, Hector Jung Kunia, Nepal, and how the machine
learning
because they examples of this are many, never am I struggle with
some difficulty, some distress, some tightness in the chest.
Except it is because of the sin that I committed.
He says so much so that I'm able to point out the sin that are very
thin that I committed.
And it might be that I start making excuses for myself.
And then all of a sudden I see the punishment, or things start
getting even more worse.
One may have oppressed you brothers and sisters, right?
I'm not saying that he gets away with his oppression.
That there's a way of dealing with that, but what should you be
doing? How should you be reacting to the situation?
What is the first step that you should be taking? You should be
sitting down, perhaps is a due to a sin that I committed? I need to
make Toba to Allah azza wa jal
look for entertainment I'm going to lie he says he says well either
right under your car finances.
What are your journey and I never see below me What is still far
Phantom and the masiva Tomasi, but
when you see an individual retaliate, the moment things start
going wrong
He starts retaliating as most people do. However, he is not self
critical of himself.
He doesn't even blame himself in any way shape or form. Right?
And no, this individual is suffering from a huge calamity
that liquidy says
if he now goes back to Allah
Tada what Anna was several far he seeks forgiveness, stuff for
livestock for livestock for Allah, solitary happy noona this will now
turn into blessings
let me give you all another example.
Because heard about Busara tarazi great scholars of Hadith.
It says bid to one of your IVF team for work if enough see the US
back to an edge mat authority.
I went through the night
and no issues. Right.
I had the blessing of being well.
It occurred to me that when I wake up in the morning, I'm going to
collect the mistakes of Sofia and authority.
Put your hand on your head of Sofia and authority
How could Dean Ozy known as
Amira more meaningful Hadith Zakharova he was the leader of the
believers when it comes to Hadith.
He was a heavyweight
so it was Arthur was us also an imam in Hadith.
It occurred to him that when I wake up in the morning I'm going
to collect his mistakes
playing with the wrong fish
so he said for the mouse back to hora, Shara Salah when I woke up
in the morning, I went to the fajr prayer
while feeder been a kanban man never hanging out.
And there was a dog
the never ever blocked me.
Whenever I eat to either either, and I never ever saw this dog
attacking an ally
or hurting himself or another
for either either you are calling me. So it came hurtling at me and
he attacked me.
For what got Venus see and now that Uber
it occurred to me at the time that this is what a punishment for
Andromeda and Derek.
So I refrain from whatever I wanted to do at a time.
Meaning to collect the mistakes of Soufiane authority. I've given you
all two examples. First example was of Mohammed MCT.
It came back to haunt him 30 years down the line brothers and
sisters.
A sin that he committed it came back to haunt him 30 years down
the line. And these things that we do brothers and sisters, specially
oppression,
right, it will come back to haunt us sooner or later.
And our blessings will diminish one after the other
day Muhammad Allah Allah he says man Sunni, but in Iran Illa be
Takita to Allah when he sat in us.
There's never a time when your blessings are taken away from you
except due to these two things either leaving of a Taqwa
which is to do what I'm not telling you to stay away from that
which Allah told you stay away from.
And also roaming others being oppressive towards others.
So after 30 years, he came back to haunt him. That's one example. The
second example that I gave, it was what?
Instantly
that he was punished for something that he wanted to go into.
Make sure brothers and sisters we
think about this deeply.
And marriage is no different.
When begging Allah azza wa jal, right,
big day comes you disobey Him. And then you think you know what, I
can continue disobeying him without
having to deal with any consequences.
When you and your wife are sitting together watching that filthy
movie, right?
It might be enjoyable at a time
that's going to come back to haunt you.
Anything that is blessed on sin, anything I find anything that is
based on sin, don't expect it to last long.
This is the art and the principal diagonal team.
He mentioned to us when he says, Mercy Allah will be Shane elaphe
said who
never does an individual disobey Allah either with something except
that Allah Allah will use it as something to destroy him.
To conclude this first point in time was mental it says, find in
the Nova back to the to Nirvana, what would your sins
will take away the blessings that you have?
Says for my husband and Bogdan, then Ben in Lausanne at Antonia
Mattoon, Mina Loy, it has to be dedicated. Depending on
what kind of
sin it was in accordance to that you will have your blessings taken
away from you.
All the way up until when he says all about yourself some of the
sellers mentioned
as the number two them then for her into the me Lady center, I
committed a sin I was deprived of waking up in the last third of the
night for a whole year
are going to ask her another set for those who are mildly
struggling with seeking knowledge. And then up to them Ben firing to
family Quran.
I came into the sin and I was what deprived of being able to
understand the Quran.
And then he quotes
a line of poetry. He says de la quinta Fini, Mateen
for Aya, if you have a blessing and look after it, for internal
morale, sia to the union, because the sins cause your sins to
disappear.
And then he says, What will humility for internal morale sia
now need?
A sense that you carry out brothers and sisters, it is like
the fire that you use to burn your blessings. Imagine our brothers
and sisters taking the blessing that you have to the petrol
station you set it on fire would anybody be is in his right mind do
that,
to Kula Kulu now we'll help. It's just as
the help
is eaten up by the fire, the lungs are eaten up by the fire.
Ear then below him is the valley nearby at
another point that I want to mention on this brothers and
sisters.
I initially thought about maybe making it a separate principle
however, it could fall on the desk.
Married couples may be going through financial difficulties.
Married couples may be going through financial difficulties.
Every other day. I'm coming across a case where an individual
is cheating the government.
Guys know what the error means.
Benefit fraud.
By the way, error is just benefits. And I'm not saying that
there's anything wrong with taking child tax credit.
And also housing. They call it housing benefits.
I'm not saying it's haram
kuffaar May Allah azza wa jal guide them
they offer this to us
as long as you meet certain conditions
will give you this money, no problem. However, you have to work
to meet these conditions.
Otherwise you're not entitled to it and acerbically. Even a cafe
you are not allowed to cheat them a grid pages
I've come across so many families who have been cheating the
government for ages
as long as you can think.
And it was very, very common in the Somali community.
Very common, agreed
or not like you guys don't know.
Very common.
For a very long time what would happen but as the Sisters
of course the wife has to claim that she's what single the husband
doesn't want to work. Her husband doesn't want to work. So he gets
his wife to lie so they can what?
receive extra money from the government?
What does Allah subhanaw taala say about the husband being the
maintainer of the house or region, our moon Allah Nisa fumbbl Allah
that alone
about
what the man for whom in and money Allah azza wa jal
has made the man,
the maintainer
of the woman,
right? And that is because of what two reasons, simply because Allah
azza wa jal chose him over the woman, Danica for the love your
team and Isha, right? Allah has really chooses what He wills. And
he has chosen to favor the man with this over the woman
as a last choice.
The second thing is what will be men and women and wanting him.
And also because they spend on them.
The husband wants to sit in a cafe speaking about politics, while his
wife is running around.
The money comes through her bank account. And then he says, Give me
money, you can already see there's 101 things wrong about that. And
how a man would feel having to work lower himself to his wife
give me some money.
Men tend to be very egoistic, aristocratic.
More than the women don't want to have been blasting the women when
I gave them a lecture about things that are worth very specific trim.
Now as you guys it's time
let's be honest with ourselves. We struggle brothers and sisters, to
be pushed around by women.
Let's be honest here. A woman telling you what to do. You have
dramani Mahama sit down, stand up go and do this.
moves you right irritates you
by now the finances are coming through her bank account.
And you're like
you had to suffer
the lower hand please. She says know what we're going to do with
it. Oh.
What happens eventually? Problems after problems after problems.
Why don't you get up on your feet and be a man and work?
as the messenger is Allah it was instead your obligation is to feed
her to cover the essential clover. That's your responsibility. Why do
you want to sit at home or cafe spend your days there like
an English they have a word for it.
I don't want to be using that.
Or you guys say waste manner.
That's exactly what it is. Isn't it brothers and sisters, let's be
honest.
He should be manning up and working. being the breadwinner of
the house.
That's what a man is not sitting around wasting himself.
Right.
A lot of men, my city that I'm from
Masha Allah Tabarrok Allah, they began to take heat after they seem
problems after problems. I will see them lining up waiting for one
another chipping in to go to Marks and Spencers warehouse. I've never
seen anything like that before or standing up, waiting around.
They're gonna take one another to mops and Spencers warehouse and
I'm like hamdulillah finally,
because it was a big issue.
Right?
Your relationship with Allah azza wa jal has a huge role to play in
what kind of relationship you have with your spouse? Is it now
beginning to add up brothers and sisters?
Cases after cases? What does eventually go back to benefit
fraud? I've even had moms come up to me and say, please talk to my
son. He's doing CC scams.
I look at the ante and I asked her honest question. And she
eventually admits to this right.
Auntie, how are you making money?
And as we go back and forth, eventually she says, Yeah, I have
to claim that I'm single and reality she's not.
Alone. I say to the Auntie, are you just upset just because he's
making more money than you? What's the difference between you and
him?
You're cheating the government making extra cash.
He's making a lot of money.
What's different between you and him?
Someone is at the same
guild commission model Golubac kumara.
Wherever the camel goes, the children of the come and they go
the exact same direction agreed.
So why is it surprising now?
Why are you upset? Why do you have an issue with that?
Now we'll see
While we Shane in love, so the WHO Ali never does an individual
disobey Allah as a with something, except that ALLAH will use that to
destroy you with it,
or it will have a negative impact on you. And it's had negative
impacts on many families when they tried to cheat the government.
I've never personally ever seen someone who cheats the government
that ended up living a good life.
And many of them don't even save much. And even if they do,
eventually sign you have or something will happen to that
money.
And if it doesn't directly happen, or anything happens to them, it
ends up happening to their kids.
And then someone turns around and says, Listen, we have to do that,
that will lay it out
as people who came before you and they will come after you, right?
Who was the fights themselves with the little did he have an Allah
WaPo blessing in it.
And as the missing salida since then you don't leave something for
the sake of Allah, except Allah will always give you that which is
better.
Live a life with Baraka brothers and sisters. Right? A life of
doing that which is right.
So this second point, brothers and sisters was the sins
that have a direct impact on your wealth in early July, like your
hero Morris who be healthier team, Yamaha one is deprived of his
provision, because of the sin that he commits. Again, let's be so
critical, right? You have a phone drops on the floor, and it's not
switching on again.
It's not switching on, you have to now ship out 150 pounds in order
to fix it. Maybe it's because of a similar you committed? Look at it
like that.
Right?
Haven't we heard time and time again? People saying, Oh, the
reason why they're breaking up is because there was no Baraka in the
wedding due to them splashing the cash
on their wedding day and carrying out all sorts of sins. Sure, we've
heard that going around.
And on the back of our minds, right? We think that when we
embark on that journey of getting married,
is it going to affect it or not? Of course, with a shadow of a
doubt it's going to affect what happens in your marriage.
So what was the first principle?
How was
your relationship with Allah azza wa jal will go a very long way.
And what happens when you're married to your loved one.
And like I said, we need to walk away with this very, very
important statement, which is being self critical. If you can
stick it on your walls, shallow to Allah, you will see
a lot of good things coming your way.
The second principle brothers and sisters,
is
stop thinking that the grass is greener on the other side.
Thinking that the easier option is to run away from your problems.
From my humble analysis, brothers and sisters, an evaluation of many
young people who get married is that the moment things start going
wrong, right, they think to themselves, you know what, maybe
it's easy for me to just run away from the situation.
That's not the right thing to be doing brothers sisters.
You need to change this mentality from now from before you get
married.
And I've been telling the sisters as well, right? In Menominee, it
tends to happen amongst the sisters. And that is without a
shadow of a doubt due to immaturity.
I lived a single life, right?
I had a lot of time I spend time with my friends. I do this. I used
to do that. All of a sudden now when you become when he gets
married, it's like a show is like a culture shock thing.
I used to do all of that. I can't do this anymore. Maybe it's it's
best for me to just leave and shop.
As someone who's getting married brothers and sisters, right? You
want to fulfill your desires, right? It's been tough.
Especially in the summers.
The brothers are suffering out there.
Yes, it can
arms have a lot of perks, while at the same time it comes with
responsibility. Right? You can't expect to walk into a marriage,
thinking that everything is going to be like how it was before.
Sometimes you hear Brother and sister saying, I never signed up
for this, which means you didn't sign up for this
this is what marriage is
sorta your mindset from this moment on, you have to make a lot
of sacrifices, you have to let go of some of the things that you
love to do because you're married.
Pretty straightforward, right.
And of course, brothers and sisters, you will come across
characteristics and traits
of your wife and vice versa as well. That you don't like that
you're not used to seeing or interacting with.
However, what you need to understand this, you both come
from different backgrounds.
People weren't all created the same way. If you just look at your
hands, brothers and sisters, you have five fingers. Are they all
created the exact same way? No.
No different.
Right. And you have to expect that even the missing somebody was told
us
Leia frogmen or not Mina
in Cary Hammond how Holloman are the Amiga.
The believing man should not hate the believing woman
agreed.
If there is something that he dislikes, there is what so many
other traits and characteristics that she has that are
praiseworthy.
Don't just focus on the negatives brothers and sisters.
I promise this is with me. The only place that you're going to
find a perfect woman is where in Hounslow
wherever there's
an agenda,
she will always have a deficiency.
Right?
Sort of taking this quote unquote out easy option. Why don't you
make the offer in the last third of the night? That Allah subhanaw
taala rectifies him?
Have you ever thought about that?
There is something that you've advised her about and she keeps
doing she can make the offer. And vice versa is oh,
I started throwing in the towel and running away from the
situation. And then what? Get married again by another sister.
She's going to be perfect. And then you start comparing her to
the first of all, like she was like that miskeen
she just going to be jumping from one person to another one sister
to another
one stalker on F Sr. You never ever feel at peace.
Try to make your work.
Like to start Don't be hasty.
I don't want to go into people's private lives brothers and
sisters, by know lot of brothers. They've gone through wars before
eventually, the dust settled.
It was not easy. And they considered a separation time and
time again. But eventually you'll be left
in a situation where the only one that you can turn to is none other
than Allah subhanho wa Taala It is him who can change the hearts as
the Mr. lobbyism said in an ova. They know US Marine minerals Saudi
Arabia enemy
the hospital between the fingers of Allah subhanho wa Taala in
showing up more accommodation using VoiceOver accents for La
Raza wills he put it
in the right path and guide it if he wants Allah azza wa jal what
deviated
he provinces is with me. Also the mister lady was telling them said
about the woman are you in writing?
Allah but Allah, when Lady my vaccine for agenda to Allah haram,
any woman will request a divorce
without a valid reason. Then the agenda becomes haram upon am
I mentioning this my beloved brothers and sisters because who
is it that normally
requests for separation?
Are you guys scared for saying they can't hear
the woman?
Right? It's mainly the woman without a shadow of a doubt. Even
a woman's accept that
right?
Especially at a time
When they are on the monthlies but there's so much more emotional.
So much more emotional that's been row sisters if they the feminist
want to cancel me and cancel me.
Right I will I don't mind.
That was a video that one time I came across
and there was a speaker, the male speaker in the University Hall.
And he says something like this, and a woman got upset. So how can
you say that? He said you are the example here look, look at the way
you're reacting.
Comedian cut that out and keep him
this is why it is not right Islamically to divorce a woman
when she's on her
on a menses
a type of talam. That is betrayed.
Right? You shouldn't be divorcing a woman and she's on her menses
has to be extra patient. Right? You need to weather the storm, as
they say.
Also something else that I wanted to mention now,
imagine now, a three lofts
were handed over to the woman
how quickly she would get rid of them. So hey,
you have them for a reason. Because you're meant to be want
more responsible brothers.
Some individuals who lie shocks me like why somebody even would do
this.
Right. And the last marriage problem that I was dealing with it
was because
of one individual saying I've divorced three times in one
setting.
And there's a bigger laugh amongst scholars as to whether this counts
as one or counts as three.
And the four great Imams of fifth. They all hold the view. That
account says three if you say to a woman No, I'm divorced three times
you keep saying to divorce me divorced divorced me.
And then your ego kicks in. And then you say you know what? I'll
give you a three divorce. I take it.
You've now driven yourself in a huge pickle.
Can you just take her background? No, you can't. Until she what?
marries another.
Not just marrying and divorcing straight to Allah.
Messenger Solari with him says, Hector, you do have an aha moment
to say let him know that and Owen. Until the second taste what the
first tasted
meaning would have to be an intimate relationship. And then
she would have to get divorced before you can take her back. And
then there's children in the equation. He is so regretful is
crying to me on the phone. I'm such a stupid husband. Okay, you
are?
Well, I genuinely you are.
Allah azza wa jal handed over these three topics to you. What
for you to throw around like that?
So you have to be extremely understanding. Just look at your
friend that you have.
Right? Was it always plain sailing? Was it always a smooth
relationship? You came across certain characteristics and traits
that you didn't like however over time, you got to know one another
and it's going to take time
How many is that?
To you?
Number three
stop allowing
the devils from the human beings
to dictate your marriage.
You have a good marriage. Everything seems to be hamdulillah
going okay. Nothing is going to be perfect brothers and sisters. But
it seems to be what floating positively.
Some female devil comes along, starts whispering in the wives is.
And so I was talking to her about how he could be doing this and how
he could be doing this and that and whatever have you.
And sometimes this devil is from the mill kind.
And you begin to talk to your wife, not your wife.
You've been able to find a solution with your wife but with
your friend. You start talking about her
right underneath
towards giving you some type of advice, Allahu Allah and where he
took that from, probably the shaytaan whispered to him, which
he ended up whispering to you.
And he said, Yeah, you're right. The Prophet doesn't even have
experience. He has no knowledge, and he's never been married. How
on earth? Is he giving advice to you? And you're accepting it?
Cave?
Right? Would you go to half baked Doctor brothers and sisters? No,
you wouldn't? You will go to the one who's most qualified.
Likewise, when you need your car fixing, who would you go to?
achiote Rosa,
you're going to do your research, you're going to make sure
that it's a mechanic is not going to rip you off.
You want to do your research. That's the point behind it. Why
would you go to some individual who has no experience, never been
married, and he's giving you marriage advice. And then based on
that advice, you start treating your wife a certain way. And he
may well be oppressive brothers and sisters.
And he knows also a jeep. When you're talking to your friend, you
are only giving your side of the story. And he might advise you
based on what you've just told him.
And as a human being, you tend to be very biased. Agreed.
Especially when you're emotional.
How many times brothers and sisters right?
That a brother messaged me saying his wife is like this and like
that, and I'm trying so hard
to block away everything that he's saying. Because as someone who's
now going to sit down between the husband and the wife, right, I
have to be fair, and unbiased. I'm going to someone now is bluffing
in your ear? It could affect your judgment. And I'm saying to
actually listen, we'll sit down with her and we'll deal with the
recording and he's like she's very manipulative, manipulative.
Right. She has magic in her speech. Allahu Akbar, when he
calls the Hadith, we're in the middle biryani.
This hadith the Prophet sallahu wa salam, right, there's a type of
eloquence that is very magical.
Am I convinced you that this is black is white. Because of the way
I speak? I convinced that it's black.
Because of my eloquence.
And I couldn't help the man speaking, speaking. And I'm trying
so hard not to have any preconceived judgments on his
woman that I'm about to go and visit with him.
He's a lion.
We go and sit down. I'm telling him how you speak
brother's mumbling and he's saying
the lion has turned into what? A mouse
or into a lioness.
I'm telling him speak what's wrong? You've been telling me all
of this it goes. Because of course as the messenger Allah Allah wa
sallam told us
right have you learned from your toilet? You gotta have a courage
Julianne, fella tuck linen. Oh, well, Hector Tesam akademin. Haha.
When two people come to you to seek your judgment, don't pass a
judgment until you hear the other individual out.
As a judge D the Hadith are very, very important. Also added on to
London's mayor Adara. Salah analysts mean, yup. Danny baignade
Hakim, from sasm judged, the both the defendant and the claimant,
they go and sit in front of the judge. Because that will give you
a fair judgement in how to deal with the situation agreed.
There's always two sides to a story.
Allah had brothers and sisters fairland
he was speaking like a lion. Now, he's no different mouse running
away. What does the mouse do? The moment you try to
kill him runs away. So it's exactly what he's doing, running
away.
I didn't mean it metaphorically.
I meant as a reality that he's actually trying to run away going
around the bush run around the ball seven times. And then he
comes back and then it goes again.
And sometimes what vice versa.
You need to listen to both sides of the story. And for you it's not
good, right? You're telling him something, right? That is based
off of your own account. And then he gives you advice. And based on
that you're going to treat your wife, the Myskina who doesn't
deserve to be treated like this in an oppressive manner.
Allah subhanho wa Taala is fair.
Right? She makes two against you one time
it's dangerous.
Well
as poets a
lot of the Neyman ADA Quinta Moqtada RA
for the new third year of bear who Ilana Danny
Tanner Marina aka
while Multnomah Montana Johan
he had Iranica why wine Allah Helium 10 Me, law
says, Don't depress as much as you can.
Indeed the volume will come back to haunt you. Oppression will come
back to haunt you while you are fast asleep. The one who you're
pressed screen extremely hot. It's going to make dragees
right?
Your eyes are closed by the eyes of Allah subhanho wa Taala or not.
Are you with me brothers and sisters?
So going back to the point that I was making the shayateen of the
ins there is no just shouting of the gin Shayateen of the ins if
the shaytaan can't come directly to you, what does he normally do?
For those who attended the lecture yesterday in North London?
Holloway? What was the sixth point or the sixth trap of the shape on?
This was even a trap that the MBR couldn't protect themselves with
hmm, yeah, you have to shut off.
What was the sixth one?
Exactly sir. Calaca Halleck.
The shaytaan comes through others, just like the shaytaan came
through the wife of Luth to irritate him
and the son of noi to irritate no khalifa to Salaam.
The shaytaan comes through external avenues in order to
hinder your self development or your relationship with Allah
subhanho wa taala.
You brothers and sisters with me, couldn't come directly to you. It
goes through someone else. Now listen to this hadith of Jerilyn
Abdullah Radi Allahu Allah, Allah and
the Messenger of Allah Allah was some he said in a Lisa a Adarsha
Alma.
So my job as a Sanaya IBLEES he places his throne on the water,
and then he sends his troops fired now mean humans eaten or Allah
Moon fitna.
The closest
the closest soldier to the devil to bliss that he brings close is
the one who causes the greatest fitna
you add on for your code
one of the soldiers comes back to Iblees and says I done X Y and Zed
for your co ruler who masala to share you never done anything that
is significant
for me, or do I have done for your code and another of the soldiers
comes and says Murdock to head for rock to buy, you know, are they in
Emirati on if you need him and while you're cool near Manta, he
says I never left him. Then I separated him between
or I separated him from his wife. So he brings him extremely,
extremely close.
He is the beloved to the police.
So you have brothers and sisters IBLEES in his troops
who don't take a day off work brothers and sisters full time.
They are there to destroy your marriage more than anything else.
Right.
Don't
give yourself a reason. Right? By being your own cause of
destruction.
Lie be clued up. All of these points that I mentioned are
extremely extremely important. And it may well be what saves your
marriage
How many is that so far?
Three.
Number four. Stop comparing your marriage to others.
Prophets Allah Allah was telling me he taught as a principal, how
DW Herrera and the messenger salon aosom said on Nauru, LM and O S
Philomene comm what Altamura LM and homophobia comm for additional
tests the Ronette Metalla.
Look at those who are less fortunate and you look at those
who have less than you don't look at those have more.
What will that cause you to have? A what will that actually do for
you? It will cause you to be more thankful and appreciative of the
blessings that ALLAH SubhanA wa
Allah
has showered upon you
make sense? Brothers Sisters.
There are sisters are comparing their marriages,
to the marriages of individuals.
And the reality of the matter is you don't actually know what's
happening in that private life.
Right? I'm sure a lot of us came across that scandal online.
He was the ideal husband. According to many. Does everybody
know what I'm speaking about?
Come on brothers, sisters. I think this was the biggest scandal ever,
on Instagram.
Everyone thought that it was extremely, extremely
wonderful marriage. He made one happy and then he married another.
Right. And she's coming out saying, Oh, I love being a co
wife.
And sisters are saying to their husbands Yeah, look,
the jumping up and down on the bouncy castle. Why don't you ever
do that with me?
I had with my own is
no case, taking her out, look how happy they are. And then she's
worth comparing it to her situation. I'm absolutely
miserable.
Well, I have brothers and sisters before the scandal became public
information. brothers brought this to my attention. And I was
shocked. Like, that's not something that you normally see.
Right on the worldwide web.
And I said to them at a time, this is many years before that, that
either one of two things is going to happen in this kind of
situation.
And it's happened before, right? Either all of this is fake.
And the reality is going to come out. Or there'll be afflicted with
an
evil eye. And things will start going downhill.
For business sisters, right?
Allah Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us about Iacobelli salatu
salam, and what he instructed
his son Yusuf, he said Labtop whose route yak Allah hortic
laptops was row Yonka hortica for your key do like a Qaeda.
He had a dream was a wonderful one. And he told them, don't
relate this dream to your brothers, because they will plot
against you.
They will envy you brothers and sisters.
If he's saying, don't relate this dream to your brother's right, and
because of them hearing something, you might go through all of these
problems. How about the personnel? Who flushes all of the blessings
that He has on Instagram?
Majan that brothers and sisters? Why would somebody in their right
mind do that?
A private life is a happy life. Hold on to your blessings. And
don't flush it on the World Wide Web
right
something very important also that I wanted to mention
No.
Brothers and sisters take this from me. Right?
You know when you sit in the profit salon services, Masjid, you
see a lot of things happening. I spend a lot of time sitting in the
Prophet sallallahu salams Masjid in El Medina, and I would always
see people walking past time and time again. I seen individuals
will lie, they look miserable. You can see on the face, they look
miserable. Right? He takes out his phone,
puts it up like that Snapchat
records a little clip.
And then the brother looks miserable. Straight after that one
time I looked at him and even he felt extremely embarrassed. What
do you see on the World Wide Web on Instagram posts on Twitter? It
may only well be what a moment.
The 24 hours
throughout the days, a moment
where they put on a face and then what you start using that to maybe
have a go at a spouse.
How often have I seen it? How often
right
even with a lot of these kuffaar couples,
even not with these kuffaar couples
You only hear about the separation when it happens. So
with every separation, every divorce that takes place, there
are problems, problems, problems that build up, then eventually,
they separate.
Is there ever a relationship where the brother just wakes up one day
and says, You know what, you're divorced.
And there was nothing prior to that. Very, very rare. It could be
that after is afflicted with an evil eye, or gene position or
whatever, he just starts acting in differently. But it's very rare
that someone behaves like that agreed.
Not so long ago, one brother was talking to me about the current
affairs,
and the kuffaar, and the depression and whatever have you.
And then he used Shakira, and Gerald PK as an example.
They recently went through a divorce, or a separation or
something along the lines of that
time, did anyone know that they were going through difficult
times,
all the way up until they actually separated from one another, and it
became public information.
Prior to that, they were probably still posting pictures and videos
of themselves all happy together. So
imagine now an individual using this
as a blueprint for his marriage.
So what was this next point that I just we just mentioned?
Stop comparing your marriages to others,
especially to my sisters who are listening, right? You may go
through an argument or some arguments or a lot of arguments.
And then you begin to compare it to those who may be in a better
position. Remember, there are sisters
who are being abused physically.
Not that I'm trying to say that you settle for less law, you have
every right now to address the situation with him.
Right? And if you feel like that things are not taking a turn for
the better
involve a third party.
Right? Allah subhanaw taala told us in Oklahoma and 15 shikaka in
Hema fabretto hakim and Minnelli had given me an idea
right? If you now begin to notice discord between the husband and
the wife
then bring out a representative from his sign representative from
her site.
As a last resort, you feel like this is going nowhere. Let's try
still thought sorted out. But look within Allah says
in Uri there is Salah Han UEFA que la vie Noma. And this part is
very, very important.
If they intend rectification they both want something or something
good to come out of this situation. They have the intention
of wanting to rectify it. Allah azza wa jal will give them tofield
intense intention goes a very long way here brothers, sisters.
However, if she's already made a decision, right and everything
that happens after that everyone is wasting their time. Don't
expect any good to come out of this.
Don't expect any good to come out of this
number six, or isn't number five, five.
The constant tit for tat
and holding on to past mistakes and flows.
If you are somebody like that, you will never ever move on.
And I want to share the statement of not a Makarov shed so many
other statements about the fo forgiveness and pardoning and so
on and so forth, overlooking
the equivalent of a Mohamed salah I mentioned and it's not just
specific to marriage he says in obey Nikka ouabain Elia baya Lai
Allah Maha in Allah
indeed there are sins
between you and Allah subhanaw taala that nobody knows.
For either Hebda and young Pharaoh her
first foray into and
if you wish that Allah subhanho wa Taala pardons you and forgives
you.
Then be someone who powders others
find them and Giselle Majid Suleiman
because what goes around comes around
you will be rewarded with how you are with others.
If every mistake that happens, brothers or sisters, you hold on
to it. Right? And you don't let go. The people will never ever be
able to
To
get on with one another,
there has to be a level of TA for overlooking the mistakes of the
other person.
Right? Of course, there are issues that might really irritate you
that you have to address.
However, every time the other person made a mistake, right, you
picked up on it and you addressed it, and then again, and then
again, how many mistakes do we do on a day to day basis?
So you have to learn to forgive and forget.
Right? Especially when things become extremely sour.
And I've been in this kind of settings, right?
The lady
in this marriage is bringing up problems from 20 years ago.
Hola. Hello, Ali.
If you want to divorce, just say I want to divorce.
I don't want to be part of this relationship.
I just don't love him anymore. I don't want to continue. Right? If
you want to walk away, walk away with what with dignity.
Right?
Allah subhanho wa Taala says in the Quran, why and yet if you're
going to allow Coolum insanity, if they separate from one another,
Allah subhanho wa Taala will shower each one with his
provision.
Right, they will be given their share of everybody will move on
however
most cases that you come across, it doesn't end
smoothly.
She will try to tarnish his image or he might try to do so as much
as he or she can.
Right.
And this oppression brothers and sisters will come back to haunt
you
walk away with dignity calmly type I don't want to go ahead with this
or I don't want to continue with this has Why does all of that
baggage still need to be thrown into the equation?
Right?
Luckily how this point is brothers and sisters learn to overlook
you have sins that are between you and Allah and you love for this to
be overlooked.
You love for this to be overlooked then do the same.
And don't bring up things that what
the other than maybe 20 years ago hoping hoping that when you come
on Yamanaka Yama, we know that there are going to be individuals
that we were told about in the Sunnah of the messenger lady with
all of their sins will be what listed one by one.
And there will be those who sins will be overlooked. So
perhaps maybe we treat them a bad and this manner
that will happen to you as well.
Number six
learn to have good thoughts of one another.
Now, Arabs, they have a saying
or Kulu near a nurse and behind the topic.
Every individual looks at the other
with the lens of the kind of individual he is.
You know the thief,
right? He's a thief. So he's a pickpocket.
He looks at everybody like that.
He's walking around paranoid. Maybe he's taking a day off today.
Right? Takes his family.
They go sightseeing. But he's walking around feeling extremely
paranoid. The mother will couldn't do neuron nursery behind the
topic. Even even Michelle amatola already has a saying
it herself a little more sad, vulnerable. Right?
Because he's so used to doing evil things. He's bound to become
someone with evil assumptions.
Right?
Have good thoughts of your husband and you need to have the force of
your wife.
Otherwise,
the evil force my brothers and my sisters.
It will only lead to one thing and that is
separation. Take that from me. This is a sickness that individual
may have. Well Allah has a sickness.
He goes outside of the house. She's thinking to herself, where
is he gone? What is he doing? Who is he looking at? Right? He's
probably had a long day at work. It comes back home the last thing
that a man wants after a long day
or long day's work
is for his sister to start notices
his wife to start policing him.
You never know brothers or sisters is a slip of a tongue right
LG
UBT is perfectly moral now, right?
Would it be surprising to us that * now becomes moral as well?
LGBTQ, and being a homosexual was something that was considered
immoral
many, many years ago, but then now it became morally acceptable.
*, so far so far fetched. Tomorrow, a brother and a sister
they decide to marry one another.
Or a law is passed that you cannot prevent your 10 year old daughter.
Okay, going off with a 30 year old man.
For those who attended the hotbar know exactly what I'm referring
to.
Yesterday, the hotbar Charlo data should be available tomorrow. It's
an interview that I watched brothers and sisters of a man
saying I think his name was Todd Nickerson
saying we are non offending pedophiles
because the argument they bring today is what love is love, right?
Love is love.
Love is love. Time isn't his love is love.
If a brother turns around tomorrow and says I love my sister time,
same argument.
What is non offending *, right? It says
love is love. We are attracted. And the man actually says we are
attracted to young people. And he's trying to say when somebody
sees someone that he's attracted to, he doesn't automatically think
that I want to have sexual intimacy with them. We are the
same. We might see them we're attracted to them but doesn't
actually mean that
was the point that I was making was
was the point I was making.
Husband and wife having good thoughts of one another. Right?
Having good thoughts of one another. Even though they might
have mental I think he says
Muhammad and nurserymen Muhammad like Eva?
Why isn't a wannabe him? Whoever makes it a habit to give the
people the benefit of the doubt.
And he has good thoughts of them. You know what happened? Selamat
Nieto
one Sherif Hassan ro woof here, although this person will be a
piece. Right, he will have pure intentions. And also, his heart
will become rectified.
As soon as they say, if we don't take anything away from having
good thoughts of the people other than the fact that you are able to
go to sleep
at face, it will be enough of a benefit. And if that the only
negative to having bad thoughts of others was that when you go to
sleep, you go to sleep with a heavy heart it will be sufficient.
Six right, was the final one.
Allah says in the Quran, when I say will deliver.
Don't forget the good times
that you had with your spouse.
This is a principle brothers and sisters.
I came across a study and a lawyer was quoted he said you can save a
failing marriage.
How the lawyer says and He reveals how to dodge divorce and fall in
love over and over again.
He says by reminiscing about the good times and accepting that
everybody changes.
You know what I sometimes say to sisters, specifically
who are asking for out, they want to leave the relationship.
Sit down, take a pen and paper
and start writing down all the good things about your husband.
And then also write down the bad things about your husband.
Cut the paper into half right now.
Let's see which one outweighs the other
when her emotions
diminishes, right. And her account has come back
and she starts writing down all of the good things, see which one
outweighs the other.
And also good way brothers and sisters to find out what she
really thinks about is to go through all of the messages
that she sent to you.
You're this you're this You're that and send her the screenshots
of that. Really want to divorce me
because every other day she's talking about the good things
because when things are nice she talks with reality
mama saying goes wrong shape on
the righteous man's becomes the biggest devil
the righteous man becomes the biggest devil
and it's sad to say my beloved brothers and sisters
the majority of those in the Hellfire who
Prophet sallallahu wasallam he said, No, I sent you
some Reitman kashaya all that now right to make a higher MCAT if you
were to be good to throughout the whole year, and then she sees one
thing she will say I never ever saw anything good from you.
And Nikita to vclt Nephi to free the Remo.
Ma, is what a negation right to Minca Hiren which is what
it's an Akira it's an indefinite ever thought.
If you're a husband who studied with solar
and you start evaluating her speech, you might find yourself in
a bit of a pickle
there's also the first principle that we learned that if an
indefinite is preceded by a negation that means generally it
means generality
right but you can't they you know they don't mean it you know they
don't mean it and then there was often
no right to Minka Hiren caught I never saw anything good from you.
She doesn't mean it however it is dangerous statement.
is maybe the reason why
she's thrown into the hellfire.
Allah Prophet Salado Some said they come with Cofer the female
companion said Cooper Billa with this believe in Allah
essence Elias had left the UK for the last year they are what?
Ungrateful to the husband if he was to be good to her throughout
the whole year she said one thing she will say I never saw anything
good from you.
You know I always looked at the Hadith of the Prophet sallahu was
sending me and made me wonder cave how
when he said in nodulated kill mo will kill him in Sati La La ut la
valen for Yahweh beef United Johanna Sabrina Khalifa
one others a single word and because of the single word when he
does otter it right doesn't give him much concern he thrown into
the Hellfire for 70 years
and then you take this hadith you put it into context with one
another it begins to make sense
it begins to make a lot of sense
so you as a husband when you hear her saying this sub trying to
evaluate it you know she doesn't mean it should be patient Okay,
keep it moving
right this is when you blur out your sort of filter you don't
and your Arabic language
so don't forget the good moments
then brothers and sisters to conclude I have written down
some points that are specific for women
and one point that is specific for the woman
there's no equal rights here.
First point that I have written down is
being nice to your wife is not a weakness
it isn't being whipped
sometimes you tell the brothers around you look I need to take my
wife out or
so making jokes like that.
Well I people make jokes like that. And it makes you feel a
certain way.
Right.
And then what your masculinity starts coming out What was that
word? That
was the word we mentioned yesterday in the restaurant
toxic toxic masculinity
yesterday some of our brothers they taught me some new English
words alpha male.
Play Tamil.
And then toxic masculinity. First time I've heard some of these
terms
you start putting on what
A hard version of you in front of your friends.
Everything has its time. Right?
It is not a weakness to be nice to your wife, messiness. allottee,
was son was nice to his wife, right?
Wasn't it nice to his wife?
Right? He used to race with his wife eyeshadow, yellow tile, and
I have a notes page on my iPhone. You know what I call it?
The different romantic times of the Prophet salon himself.
Maybe one day we'll do a lecture,
I think is very, very much needed. And some of the cultures that we
come from, but you never ever see
the husband ever showing love to his wife.
She's always the one taking the kids bringing them back then going
back again and then coming back. He comes home he expects his food
on the table eats, goes upstairs and sleeps
as efficiently. Right? How are the children ever going to learn?
What Romans actually is the right former Roma's, the Sharia doesn't
go against Romans.
Also, it's very, very important brothers and sisters is right.
The love that is given to the children. If you're not loving to
your wife,
then you're never going to be loving to your daughters ever.
Right?
You need to tell your daughter that she's beautiful brothers and
sisters. And as a responsible sibling, there must be times that
you tell your sister that she's beautiful.
Right?
saying good things to her. If you don't trust me, there will come a
guy who will say all of these nice words and she will be what blown
away.
Tell them that you love them. Tell them that they look beautiful.
Right? So when she does end up hearing it from some LGB or some
guy at school,
she won't feel moved by it.
Right? It's not a weakness to tell your female siblings that they
look beautiful and that you love them and especially your wife.
Especially if you have a wife that's coming out on social media
flashing herself. Someone can easily what slip into her private
messages and he says something they compliments her and she
doesn't hear that the tone
makes sense.
Number two, stop expecting the wife to fund your lifestyle.
This whole 5050 stuff brothers and sisters. That's from the kuffaar
Even though she's a multimillionaire, she still
doesn't have to
cover the expenses.
Are you provinces with me? It's not a must.
It is not a MOSFET to pay a single penny. Sometimes I use this card
to bring non Muslim women closer to Islam.
They become extremely shocked. Really? It's been 5050
all my life
right? This is all we've ever known like she she doesn't need to
pay a single penny
number three brothers
be the bigger man.
Be the bigger man
thinking that you're a tough man. Right? By maybe getting physical
with your wife
this is not the right way about it.
How should you deal with a situation when
she's just laying off on you?
Should you want to stop fighting her? Should you be physically
abusive?
Should that really be the case? Because now your masculinity is on
the line
or your ego has been what? Touched
there is a narration love Ireland what is authentic another Anahata
body Allah Allah was being shouted at by his wife and there was a man
listening.
Right and then after he said how you laying your wife speak to you
like that?
It was like my wife does. The cooking she washes my clothes. She
does all of this stuff.
And they tend to be so much more emotional.
Why is aluminum Vitaly broadly allowed to and I know code able to
Rob who can tell me
he wrote upon
he had a problem in the house. So he slept with a massive
accident
There's a number of benefits that we can take from this incident one
time it may be a tiny bit of the allowed to Anna was lying down in
the masjid. And of course they didn't have carpets in their time.
And all of the dust the soil started coming onto his clothes.
Right remisens OLALIA with some so many cell OMYA truck Come on,
stand up or father of the soil
a little bit taller probably a long time and I know you left the
house
try to defuse the situation. Right it's easy for you to defuse it and
her
exit from the house I live in we thought he would be allowed to and
I know when to demonstrate.
And this is where he went to cool down.
Right? To me will be that you need what fresh air? Messenger Salatu
was Salam right told us that the only way you can want to
extinguish the fire is with water.
And the way to extinguish your anger is what by making although
and when you go outside, it has a similar effect. Like the water it
cools you down.
So it makes sense. Right, exit and then leave.
There's another benefit that I mentioned to the sisters today
pertaining to this hadith
that really stood out for me.
Now
this is also a proof
that even amongst the best people, your marriage is not always going
to be what perfect. They went through problems.
So don't expect
your marriage to be what? Avoid the problems.
How many have I missed? How many have I mentioned of the brothers
three
will only mention one of the sisters.
And perhaps this will outweigh the other three when you put it on the
scale.
The one piece of advice that I have for my sisters is your
tongue, your tongue and your tongue
we've already mentioned how
the majority of those in the Hellfire as per scripture. The
feminist want to cancel me they can cancel me. Well, I don't mind.
This is per scripture is because of what they utter with their
tongues. Right?
shakily 17 Muhammad Allah Allah He mentions that
if a woman now has a sharp tongue,
right
password a Yamaha has already had her days with her husband
are numbered.
Her days with a husband are numbered
because of this,
right?
Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said in the Hadith
either Sanlitun Murata Hamza
Osama Ciao Ciara.
If a woman our praise her five daily prayers
and she also worked for us in the month of Ramadan. We're happy that
for Jehovah and she saved God's her private parts while died Zoda
and she is dutiful to her husband. The Hello admin ie dive in chat.
She will enter from any DonorsChoose
I struggled to find the Hadith my sisters of this kind that you just
do all these four things in house you've been
pretty simple sisters, right?
And also I want to point out the fact that we're seeing being
dutiful to your husband.
Because of this feminist movement, they've empowered the women,
right? They've empowered them, made them feel like being dutiful
to your husband is us showing a weakness.
Allah has so many sisters that have come across.
They enter into a marriage with this kind of mindset.
They enter into marriage with this kind of mindset, if I'm nice to
him, or if I show me being dutiful that is going to take advantage of
me why? Once you take this from because of experiences amongst
maybe her father and her mother, or others that she's come across,
and also what the feminists have been feeding her wherever she
goes. How is that fair that you treat him now in a very harsh and
rough manner, some miskeen brother simply because of these
experiences that you have come across.
Remember my sisters, when you are dutiful to your husband, you are
being dutiful to Allah subhanaw taala you are fulfilling an
instruction a commandment
of Allah who Jennifer Allah.
If you look at it like that, right? Look how your mindset will
change.
Right? They also tried to make you feel
like bringing up kids is something that is negative.
Right? He needs to be looking after you financially He will take
care of everything. You bring out the next generation. Is there
anything greater than that?
Subhanallah you're teaching your kids you're learning you're
serving and teaching them and then they're going to be teaching
others. They're going to be the next crop of aroma. And this will
always be on your scale of good deeds. Immune attainment
Rahmatullah and whether this Tamia come from
right his name is affirmative, nada Helen brothers and sisters,
but he was known as IGNOU Tamia.
Even his grandfather took the name Tamia, she was a woman brothers
and sisters.
A righteous one who used to give reminders and teach the people
the whole family of men was ascribed back to her
Subhanallah she had a big effect on them
look how the feminists have criminalized staying at home right
think about your Accra more than anything, you could die tomorrow
and you could have been chasing what
what do I say?
Chasing a profession
was the Word and normally use
a career as the one chasing a career? Not that I'm saying okay,
that may be a woman working is something haram now I'm not saying
it's Haram as long as the environment is you know correct
and it's an Islamic one and so on and so forth Jade
Does that make sense brothers and sisters
but there's nothing better than teaching your children and then
teaching others and the reward then continues in your
in your growth
and to conclude
on time, even though it may not be too late I mentioned this he said
one should stay away from
1234566 kinds of women
the first one is called a Nana.
This is the type of woman that always complains
that we brothers I got you I told the sister This is one of the
Sharla there'll be avoiding it and there'll be spreading it.
First one is a no brainer. This is the woman that always complains
always complains always complains
no matter how many things you do first, she's always complaining.
Never is enough enough.
Number two, Elma Nana
This is the woman that always brings about favors she's maybe
done something for husband remind on x y and Zed.
She's always bringing up the favors. Number three al Hannah
and Hannah brothers and sisters is a woman. Right? A woman that
reminisces over her ex husband.
Right? She misses him and she makes that apparent.
Oh, he was like this and you'll never do this. Go to him then
Hadar
This is the woman that doesn't know her gaze
from the worldly pleasures that she comes in contact with. And
everything that she sees. She says I wonder
May Allah help your pockets if you come across a woman like that?
Right. And she enforces that upon her husband
by this by that by this by that
there was a joke in Saudi Arabia amongst the Western students.
They said if you marry this woman from this particular country,
you will have to go to the mall every week. And everyone starts
laughing. I don't want to mention the actual country.
But because they come from that kind of background and it's the
norm amongst them. Pilot will and won't be able to deal with that.
Student knowledge get married to a woman that wants him to take her
to the mall every week.
Also is very important brother says that you take into
consideration the lifestyle that our wife comes from. And she's
extremely rich. And she's always had right luxury in our life. And
your son Miskin bye
If you plan to move into a one bedroom Council flat
might not always be suitable and you're only going to suffer.
Dean is not the only thing that's taken into consideration.
Right? Yes, that should be the determining factor. However, the
scholars they discussed the issue of what to care for suitability
and their books
and it shouldn't just be overlooked oh she's got Dean and
because of that, she's just not used to it. She has been used to a
maid all her life and now you want to turn to get in the kitchen and
then do this and and do that and she hasn't been used to it right?
So inquiring about her background can save you a lot of headache
How many is that?
For then you haven't Baraka?
It is the woman that spends her days right. Her whole daytime
whole daytime
is what she's putting on makeup and beautiful herself
and she's no longer artificial. No, no artificial is
a fake.
She becomes someone who is what? Artificial.
Extremely unnatural.
No further comment. Why Misha Dhaka
the last one brothers and sisters is the woman who just speaks all
the time.
But things that are not beneficial. Speak Speak, speak,
speak speaks.
Does that make sense? That was the advice of a chef entertaining.
That's not me voicing and expressing my own opinions. So the
feminist want to have a go at anybody. Go refuse chicken or
salmon. You'll find them on YouTube the Shala
some low end Amina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salam to
Sleeman kathira. If you'd like to get more information about when
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Inshallah, to Allah Salaam Alaikum peace