Abu Taymiyyah – Part3 InLaws or OutLaws From the words of Ibn Taymiyyah MUM VS HUSBAND
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Then, also, another hadith, brother and sister, that
I want to mention
is the statement of the prophet
just to show you the importance of when
a request comes from the husband.
The fact that the prophet, salaam, is not
only once or twice or 3 times mentioned,
he mentioned it in numerous hadith.
And the fact that the prophet
keeps talking about this shows us the great
importance of this issue. It's not an easy
matter.
He said to
us,
If he now asks her to come and
she's on the saddle of the camel,
to come down and go to the husband.
And he came in another narration,
Any man now
that caused his wife
to fulfill
or to do something that he has requested
from her a need
then to go to him.
Even now, if she was cooking something, she's
got something on the stove, and the husband
asked her to come to the room,
then it's upon her to fulfill this.
What does that show you brothers and sisters,
the command of the man the man, the
husband when he asked his wife to do
something?
And the emphasis the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam gave to this.
We ask Allah
to make us from those
that act upon these Hadith.
Brothers and sisters, we previously mentioned
the importance of submitting, that this is the
way of the believer.
When Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, said something that
we accept it.
As for all these other
mentalities,
this disease
that we find the non Muslims spreading and
the Muslims adopting it,
Wallahi, it is not the way of the
Muslims. It is not the way of the
believers.
Rather, the prophet, sallallahu alaihi wasallam, defend these
kind of people.
It came in
a hadith,
There will come a time when people are
going to be following
some of those that have preceded them,
Handspan
by handspan.
Arms length by arm's length.
Then the prophet
said,
Even if one of them must have come
now
and start having
sexual
* with his wife in the middle of
the road,
then Yula would imitate them and do the
exact same thing.
And, recently, we had in the London Mall.
Muslims, may Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala forgive us
and them, and may Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
preserve
us all,
and it was all over the newspaper.
A Muslim man and a Muslim woman, they
started doing things to each other inside the
moon.
And this is from the Alama tisaar. The
prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam told us this 1,400
years ago. Brothers and sisters,
it's a serious matter.
Who was the prophet
referring to?
The Jews and the Christians.
Came in another narration.
That if one of them was to enter
even into a lizard hole, Eula would do
the exact same thing.
Today,
our brothers and sisters, who are the idols?
Who are they trying to dress like?
50 Cent, Jay z, Justin Bieber.
We're trying to be like him.
That's how the kids are trying to be.
Wallahi, we need to
remind ourselves that we are not like them.
We are Muslims. The people that we need
to be imitating are the Salaf.
The way we dress, the way we speak,
the way we handle matters,
the way we deal with things, and everything
else. Brothers and sisters, I wanna make something
really, really clear.
So someone doesn't think that I'm trying to
water down the fact that
an individual needs to be dutiful to his
or her parents
without a shadow of a doubt. The Sharia
has told us
the importance,
and time and time again it has been
mentioned
that one needs to be dutiful to his
parents and he has come in many ayaats.
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, he says,
say to them, oh, Muhammad,
come. Let me recite to you
that which Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has made
haram upon you
That one doesn't associate partners of Allah
What was the second thing that was mentioned
in the pecking order?
One is dutiful to his parents.
The fact that Allah
has mentioned
right after the most
greatest sin that one can ever fall into,
which is shirkbilla,
one associated part of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
And he mentioned straight after one being dutiful
to his parents
shows to us the
greatness of this matter.
It came in another eye where Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala says,
Your Lord has decreed that you do not
worship anyone except Allah
The issue with Tawhid
You do not worship except Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala. Tawhid is the greatest matter in our
religion.
But one cannot have Al Islam
except by establishing Tawhid in his proper
sense
straight after
Allah mentions what one being beautiful to his
parents.
Even if they are mushriks,
they are
people that are indulged in shirk. They are
associating powers of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. Look
what Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says.
If they now strive against you,
They push you towards performing shirk, then do
not follow them upon it.
But
be good towards them.
Be their friend when it comes to the
matters of the dunya.
But when it comes to the religion they
are fighting against you, then do not accept
this. This is regarding mushriks,
people who are committing the worst sin that
there is ever that has been mentioned in
the Quran.
Also, the prophet
told us.
The
one being
dutiful to his parents,
he gains the satisfaction of his
And the anger of Allah
is when a person now makes his parents
angry. So every time you make your parents
happy and they're smiling
and they are joyful, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
becomes happy with you.
And, likewise, the other way around, every time
you make them cry,
you make them sad.
They are upset with you. They're thinking about
you all the time because you've come home
late.
Allah
automatically by default becomes angry with you.
A man came to the prophet Sallallahu Alaihi
Wasallam, he said to him,
I have now come to give you
So the prophet
asked him,
Are your parents alive?
The man said, na'am.
The prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam
the
the the man said, na'am.
And he said to the prophet
I left
my parents
while they were crying.
Look what the prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said
to him.
Go back to your parents and make them
laugh just like you made them cry.
Making your parents cry, will lie, brothers and
sisters, it's not it's not an easy matter.
It's a major sin.
It is a really really serious sin.
The woman that carried you for 9 months
and then after I breastfed you. You come
today and you talk to her like she's
a little kid
or someone that has absolutely no weight in
your life. Why? Because you're a bit older
now.
The point I'm trying to get across here,
brothers and sisters, I'm not trying to water
down
the importance of respecting the parents,
but if we have now a clash of
the 2,
who do we give preference to,
The husband
or the mother-in-law
or the father-in-law?
Who takes priority
when the command of any of them
come
towards the
daughter-in-law or the wife?
It is not for her
to leave the house, his house,
except with his permission.
Whether
she gets commanded by her, by her
father
or or her mother.
Or other than
her to her parents.
And this has been unanimously agreed upon
that she cannot leave the house.
If her parents are calling her
Without the permission of the husband, she's not
allowed to leave,
and this has been unanimously
agreed upon by the scholars, Bittifak.
Not one alimah said this, not 2, not
3, but it has been unanimously agreed upon.
There's many scholars that came together upon the
issue.
If the husband now wants to move to
another place,
let's just say
now I decide to pack my bags, and
I wanna go move to Antarctica.
Whether it is Brazil, whether it is any
place.
But at the same time,
he will fulfill the rights that is upon
him.
And he also
preserves
the limits
that Allah has
set for him when he comes to his
wife. He's going to fulfill all the rights,
everything that Allah
has asked him to do.
And then the father comes and he prohibits
her and he stops her
from obeying her husband.
In that matter,
It is upon her now to obey her
husband, do not
and not obey her parents in regards to
this issue.
The parents here, they are oppressive.
They are oppresses in this issue if they
do that.
It is not for them to stop her
from being obedient to a husband like this.
The 2 things that were mentioned, Ikhwani
and Aqwati, brothers and sisters,
He's going to be establishing that which Allah
has told him to do
in regards to a relationship,
and he's also going to preserve the limits
that Allah, Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, set for him
when it comes
to his wife.
It
is not for them
to prohibit
their daughter in being obedient to a person
like this,
and that's in any case.
Our husband wants to come and he wants
to take his wife to the other side
of the world.
The parents come in. They say, no. You're
going to keep my daughter
in this city, in this house.
Well, life is not permissible for them to
do this.
As long as he's gonna fulfill the rights,
he can take care of whatever he wants.
How many times do we find this?
I know brothers and sisters that have contacted
me saying that
my parents
are stopping me from me taking my wife
to Saudi Arabia.
They're telling me I have to keep her
here. And, also, Ibn Taym
goes on to say and he says,
It is not permissible
for her
to obey her mother
in that which she commands her to do
from trying to seek a separation
from the husband.
Oh,
she pushes him to such an extent
because she wants to have a divorce.
She pushes him, and clearly ends up divorcing
her.
Like her being extreme in requesting
the expenses,
money,
clothing,
and also
reaching a stage where she request the mahar.
The sadaq means the mahar, the money that
one gives to his wife when he gets
married to her.
In order for
him to end up divorcing his wife.
It is not lawful
for her to obey
any of her parents
when it comes to seeking a divorce.
Especially
when
he is fearful of Allah
in regards to his wife.
And then ibnatayim
says,
he has come in the 4th Sunan.
Ibn Majah,
Abu Dawood,
and
likewise,
Ani Sahid,
the 4 books
that make up the Umayatu sitter,
that the prophet
said,
any woman now that asks
her husband to divorce her.
Without any justified reason,
the fragrance of a jannah is haram upon
her.
Forget about the Jannah, just the fragrance
of Al Jannah is haram upon her.
And it came in some narrations that one
can smell Jannah
40 years
before he reaches the Jannah. 40 years.
That becomes haram upon her. Forget about even
entering into a Jannah. So brothers and sisters,
may Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala preserve your
it is important that we know time and
time again.
I'm not mentioning anyone specifically.
We get emails,
we get people calling us.
I'm trying to do this with my wife,
but her father keeps getting involved, telling her
to do this, telling her to do that.
The mother-in-law gets involved.
The grandfather gets involved. The grandmother gets involved.
The aunties are getting involved. They're literally dictating
the relationship of this husband and wife.
This is haram.
This is something that has destroyed many marriages,
and as we're speaking, it is destroying man
marriages as well.
And this is what we want our people
to comprehend and understand.
Everybody to know their limits,
their boundaries that they can't cross
in order to preserve the marriages. And, Wallahi,
for no other reason am I making this
video except for the people to understand,
the people to know
so that we don't have future breakers because
of this matter that has become a disease
in many narrations. And inshallah, brothers and sisters,
now I'm going to be moving on to
the 3rd part
of the video,
which is
if now
the husband is telling his wife to do
something that is impermissible.
We just mentioned now some of the virtues,
some of the hadith that talk about the
importance
of a wife being
obedient to husband.
If he now tells her now to do
something that is haram, is that permissible?
Is she allowed to obey him?
Rather, she can't obey him in that which
is haram.
And from the examples that we find
is when the husband and we have to
stay really, really balanced here. We mentioned the
positives and likewise the negatives of the woman
and likewise the husband.
Sometimes the husband
tries to cut the relationship between
his wife
and her parents.
This is something that is haram.
The prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam told us,
The one that cuts the relationship,
the
is impermissible.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala also says,
Have you not been disobedient to Allah
that you caused corruption upon the Earth
and you cut your relationship amongst yourself amongst
yourselves?
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says
These people
are people that Allah has
cursed,
and he has made them blind and deaf.
These are the people that cut their relations
between their family members.
And he is not allowed to do this
between
the girl and her mother or
her father.
As you have these aya, these many, many
hadith that talk about
looking after the relationship between a kith and
a kin,
the close relatives and etcetera.
Ibn Taymiy Rahim Allahu Ta'ala says,
If the husband now
stops his wife
from doing that which Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
has commanded.
Or he commands her now to do something
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has made haram
or prohibited.
It is not
permissible for her to be obedient to him
in this regard.
There is no obedience to the creation if
it means disobedience to the creator.
Rather, even the owner of a slave, if
he now tells his slave, in
that which is
in disobedience to Allah
It is not permissible for the slave
to obey his master
in being disobedient to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
So how is it not permissible
for the mother?
Sorry. For
the wife to obey her husband.
Or any of our pa parents when it
comes to being disobedient to Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala.
Rather, all the good is in
being obedient to Allah
and his messenger.
And all the evil is in being disobedient
to Allah and his messenger.
And many examples of this
that both the couple sometimes might fall into
or even the parents might fall into when
the parent is telling
their daughter or their sons
to be oppressive
to the other half,
or the parents are telling her
to not obey the husband
and not to go with him if he
decides to move to another place. Or if
he wants to do something, they tell the
girl, don't do this.
And sometimes when it comes to the husband
and brothers, we're not gonna go around the
bush here. We're gonna be really straight up.
You find that some husbands,
they force
their wives
into having sexual * with them while they
are on their menses.
Allah
says,
They ask you about the menses. Say to
them it's harmful.
And leave of the women while they are
on their menses.
This what Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala told us
to do.
Or entering upon the woman
in places where Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has
prohibited.
The prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam cursed the
individual
that goes
and has * with his wife in a
place that has been prohibited.
And we have to be really, really straight
up here. Brothers and sisters, we get emails
regarding this.
People saying,
my husband is trying to force me into
doing this, and I don't know what to
do. I don't know who to speak to.
What do I do?
The answer is
It is not permissible for you to obey
your husband in this
because it is something that will bring the
wrath of Allah
Allah Subhanahu, the prophet said,
the curse of Allah is always upon the
individual now that enters
his wife from the backside.
And like we said, Prophet said, we need
to be really straight with this issue. It's
from the Akham of Allah
As for the parents now,
commanding
the girl
to do that which Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
has told her to do,
it is something
that is wajib,
and she has to listen to her parents
even if she's married.
As for
her parents now ordering her, oh, I had
to whom are any of them.
In that which
is in obedience to Allah
In
trying to preserve
the daily prayers, wasitkal hadith and being truthful
in speech,
and also being
or fulfilling the trust.
And they now
prohibit her from wasting her money.
And anything like this.
Upon
her to obey them
in these matters.
Even if this kind of command now comes
from other than the parents.
So how about now if this kind of
command comes from our parents?
We need to understand if someone now tells
you, You Ahi or You Okti, you need
to now pray your prayers. You need to
be truthful in speech.
If anyone tells you that it's still upon
you to do it, how about your parents
now telling you to preserve the limits of
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala?
So inshallah, brothers
and sisters,
wallahi, I'm not attacking anyone specifically.
Wallahi, we made this video
in order to stop any future breakups,
and there's many people suffering from this kind
of, these kind of issues.
And only Allah
knows our intentions.
No one specific
are we speaking about. Rather,
all that we're trying to do is
protect the Ummah
from trying to follow the disbelievers in their
acts,
In that which Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has
prohibited.
And for everyone to be happy
and everyone to know their limits
because it's a big issue. It's a big
problem,
and Insha Allahu Ta'ala in part 2 we
will be speaking about,
and it's also something of a issue that
is very widespread in many households.
You find that the son of a mother
comes and he says,
my own mother, my own mother,
she's treating my sister-in-law
like a slave.
She cries all the time.
She wears her out. She oppresses her. What
do I do?
She's living in my house and this is
what my mother is doing. Wallahi 1 brother
came up to me and he said to
me,
you have certain mothers
who watch these Indian films
with Shah Rukh Khan and all these other
characters in there,
who watch these kind of films, and this
is where they get their mentality from. This
is where they get
how to deal with their daughter in laws.
So they deal in such an oppressive way.
We ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala to preserve
all of us.