Abu Taymiyyah – Part 6 Listening To ONLY One Side of The Complaints of Husband Or Wife
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AI: Transcript ©
Brothers and sisters in this short video I
want to cover a very problematic issue,
a problem that has entered upon many communities,
many societies.
You tend to find this,
taking place between husband and wife and those
who,
they go back to when they have problems
like the guardian and also their parents.
I know brothers and sisters have been wanting
to make this video for such a long
time because it is so common.
This issue is brothers and sisters,
a problem breaks out between the husband and
the wife.
The wife goes to,
her mom
and gives her her side of the story.
She pumps her up to such an extent
where she ends up having so much bad
so many,
bad assumptions
of her son-in-law
who is the husband of a daughter.
And it causes, you know, bad feeling
without doing
without doing
in that
which one side
has come and told this person. So it
pumps them up, they get on the phone,
divorce my daughter
over maybe
something
that one side has mentioned.
And it leads to bigger problems that,
you will find out insha'Allah when you find
yourself in this kind of situation if it
doesn't get resolved as soon as possible.
Brothers and sisters,
we will start, Insha'Allah,
with the statement of the Prophet
Ali said,
The Prophet
he said to me,
if 2 men come to you and they
seek your judgment
Do not give your judgment
until you hear the other person's side of
the story as well.
You will come to know
how to make a judgment.
Qala Ali Ali Radhiallahu Anhu replied back and
he said,
I remained
as a Qadi
in that which the prophet
told me
from that point on.
Okay?
You know brothers and sisters,
my father one time he said to me,
I think it's imperative that I mention this
in this clip as well,
because you can,
take lessons out of it, and it might
shock you initially,
when listening to the beginning of the story.
You say to me, Muhammad,
if a man, a man
comes to you and his eyeball has come
out of his socket,
He's bleeding.
It looks like he has been in a
fight.
Then Muhammad do not jump the bandwagon as
the Americans say.
Do not rush
to jumping on his side
and making a judgment straight away.
Rather take a step back,
calm yourself down. It is shocking Na'am
because you don't know what he could have
done
before he got stabbed in his eye.
Because you know, the brothers and sisters, the
Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam told us in Hadith
If 2 Muslims come together with their swords,
the one who was killed and the one
who killed, they are both in
the fire. So the Sahaba they said, You
Rasool Allah, now we understand the one who
killed, he's in the fire, but what about
the one who was killed?
He replied back and he said,
The one who was killed, he was what?
Very eager to kill the person who killed
him.
So before he managed to get the killer
punch or the killer you know, stab on
the other person, he got killed.
And likewise, this person who has come to
you with a with his eyeballs sticking out,
You don't know what he what he could
have done.
He could have hurt the other person, he
could have killed him, you know, he could
have harmed him, the mere fact that he's
crying to you,
you need to take your time and have
ta'ani.
Because the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam told
us, brothers and sisters,
Not being hasty when it comes to holding
people to account.
It's from Allah
and
hastiness is from the shaitaan.
Sometimes running
and making your judgment straight away without looking
into the issue properly,
it can lead to a lot of problems
and a lot of harm.
And sometimes
you tend to find that I've seen this
before from experience, I'm telling you,
that
one half going to another person
and they keep repeating and they keep saying
Fulans like this, Fulans like this, it tends
to build in that person who is being
spoken to, and these Akbar, these transmit narrations
are being transmitted to him,
it tends to build you know a very
bad heart feeling in his heart for you.
And then when something does happen,
with everything that he's been told before, he
ends up building a judgment on it straight
away.
So brothers and sisters, it requires Ta'ani.
It requires you to what? To be fair.
If a person is really
wanting Islah,
and you read the
As Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says,
Allah says, If you fear there's, you know,
problems between the husband and the wife,
and you notice this,
what do you do?
Get a person out from her family and
one from his family.
If they want
rectification,
then Allah
will solve their problems,
to come together to hear both sides out.
You bring in one person out from here,
and that one out from there, and then
bringing them together, everybody can say the same.
And then a fair judgment can be made.
And that's the Adil, the fairness, the justice
that Al Islam brings to the table. As
Allah
says,
For any Allah commands what?
Fairness and goodness. Allah says also,
When you speak,
speak with fairness.
And I've seen this time and time again,
brothers and sisters, sometimes a husband calls you
and he tells you that my wife has
done x y and z, and he's blasting
her.
Would it be correct now for me to
just hear him out and Khalaq? He could
be recording me and I would just say,
okay, she's wrong and she's like this. No.
And sometimes when you bring them together, the
guy who was hyping the most in the
beginning,
he turns to quieten down
and
the reality comes out.
Initially, he was trying to hide the way
that which the other half was saying.
Also brothers and sisters, we have a lesson,
a Ibra
in the story of Dawud
When Allah
quoted the individual who came to him,
he said,
This is my brother.
He has 99
sheep.
Najah is brothers and sisters.
He has 99,
and I only have 1, and he's trying
to take this one.
He said
Help me, you know, gain ownership over the
sheep, this one sheep that I have.
And aid me in that which I say
to him.
Dawud
straight away without hearing the,
second
or the other
half out,
He made the judgment and Allah
corrected him. He said
He has oppressed you by asking for your
1 naja
on top of the 99 naja he already
has.
So after coming to realization that which he
done, he saw forgiveness from Allah
He
rushed to bowing down to Allah
and he returned back to him. The point
is brothers and sisters,
if I have a £1,000
then
every single penny of that £1,000 in mine,
My brother doesn't have a right to come
to me and say to me, Muhammad give
me that 1p. Or go to a judge
and say to him he has, you know,
999.99p,
you know, and I just want this 1p
and can you help me get this back?
The reality of the matter is it's not
yours.
So what right do you have to take
that?
You know? So brothers and sisters,
parents, uncles, aunties,
to be very attentive to this
as it causes and it, you know,
if a person was to now fulfill this
correctly, the prophetic tradition of the prophet
accordingly,
you tend to find what brothers and sisters
that a lot of these problems they cut
out.
And for also the husband and the wife
to fear Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
Not to just take your side of the
story rush, rather if you really want islah,
what do you do?
You both go together, you get your problem
solved.
Not to go and, you know,
pump the other half up, or a third
party, pump them with whatever you want, and
then only give you a sign of the
story and go fatwa shopping.
We ask Allah
to benefit us from what we heard, and
to make us from those who act upon
the ayaat, the hadith of the prophet