Abu Taymiyyah – Part 1 Can My Husband Kick Me Out After Divorce
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AI: Transcript ©
Brothers and sisters
in this sitting
what we want to discuss is a very
important topic,
a contemporary issue that you find
that has affected maybe nearly every
culture. This kind of issue has just about
entered into
every culture,
especially when there comes a time
when a divorce takes place between
the husband and the wife, a separation takes
place.
What is the next step?
How do we go about handling this matter?
If you look at our society today, at
least 99
0.9% of the people,
after they separate, they tend to
leave each other, the husband either kicks her
out of the house or she goes back
to her family's house
Is this what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala told
us to do?
And
my
objective here today inshallah
is to explain to you brothers and sisters
the correct understanding
and the correct way to deal with this
kind of matter when this takes place,
hoping
that by us fulfilling
that which Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala told us
to do,
it will prevent many breakups
or many separations in the future. And if
they do get separated,
there's still that possibility,
them coming back together
and
staying together for a second time.
Brothers and sisters,
sometimes we complain about
there not being
any barakah,
any blessings in our life. We've got marriage
problems.
We even go and visit
a relationship expert or we read articles
hoping that it might
rectify the relationship that we have.
Brothers and sisters,
everything
has been mentioned in his book
that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has sent down,
how to handle things, how one should be
towards his wife, how the wife needs to
speak to her husband,
how they need to cooperate with each other,
a Jewish man came to Salman al Fayez
and he said to him,
your prophet has taught you everything,
even how to use the toilet, how to
do number 12,
the smallest details
in our religion have been mentioned.
So Salman al Farisi
he said to him the
Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam did teach us
all of this
he commanded us not to face the tibla
when we do number 1 and when we
do number
2,
that we don't use our right hand
when washing ourselves after number 1 and number
2
until the end of the hadith?
Every small detail has been mentioned to us.
The way the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam kissed
his wife, what he did after
he woke up,
what he said when he entered into the
toilet, when he
came out the toilet,
sometimes you find is
just like unheard of one coming and speaking
about
what he did inside the toilet, but the
prophet
taught us
the smallest of details
and the cure is there,
any problem that we need, it is found
in the Quran, Allah said,
we haven't neglected anything from the book,
If we want that happy life in our
relationship,
then brothers and sisters please listen up.
There's not a disease that Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala sent down except
that he made it clear to us, that
he gave us a cure for it. The
Prophet
said
never did Allah
SWT send down an illness, a sickness,
except that he sent a cure with it
as well.
Do you want the happy life?
Nobody can tell you like Allah
and is there anyone that can tell you
better than Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala? Is there
anyone's narration
speech that is more truthful than Allah
speech? He tells us,
Whoever does good deeds, whoever does good deeds,
from the man,
from the men
and the women.
This person will give him a good life.
What did Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala say, whoever
does good deeds,
whether this person is a man,
a male or a female, and this person
is a believer.
2 conditions have been mentioned in his ayah.
And from the
is that when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says
something that one submits to it with full
submission without why, without how,
when, what,
Allah says something,
you go and apply it and fulfill it
without any hesitation.
Insha'Allah
through that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will make
your matters better.
The depressed
individual, Allah also tells us how a person
now becomes depressed and the depression that he
goes to and the cause for it, like
we mentioned before,
the illnesses and the cure are there, in
the Quran,
Allah tells us we send down in his
book that which is a cure for the
people,
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells us in
And whoever now
turns away
from the remembrance of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala,
this person, we will give him a depressive
life.
Stressed out
tight
life that this person will be going through.
Why? Because he went against
the command of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
We mentioned previously what?
Doing what Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala told you
to do, you get the happy life
that everybody craves for.
You turn away from the command of Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala, you get the depressive life
which is the opposite of happy,
the one being happy
just first of all come and he will
be gathered in your and he's blind,
he will say
you Allah why have you not brought me
blind and I used to be someone I
could see
Our verses came to you,
how you left it off,
and today you will be left off. You'll
be forgotten just like you forgot Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala.
So this issue, brothers and sisters, if it
ever happens
that the husband divorces the wife,
forget about the reason. We're not talking about
whether he was correcting his divorce, whether
she was right or whether he was wrong
or whether he was right, we're not talking
about that, we're talking about situation now, got
a situation here,
the husband
divorces his wife,
what is the next step?
What is the next step? What do the
majority of the people do?
He either kicks her out or she ends
up going back to her mom's house
and they separate,
is this what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala told
us to do?
Allah
tells us in the first verse of Surah
or prophet,
if you ever divorced your wives,
and divorce them
to their idah
and count the days of the
iddah.
Have taqwa
with Allah
do not kick them out of the house
and she shouldn't leave the house as well,
this is the shahid that we want to
speak about,
the man after he divorces her, it is
haram
for him to kick her out
you can't tell your wife to leave the
house
and she can't leave the house as well
except if they now come
with a
sexual *,
unlawful acts
Whoever now violates
against the limits that have been set by
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, this person he has
oppressed himself.
You don't know
and this is now
the point also that we want to get
across.
What is the reason why Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala tells
the husband not to kick her and her
not to leave the house,
and tells them to remain with each other
after divorce happens?
Allah tells at the end of the ayah,
you don't know.
Perhaps
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will make things happen
between them.
This is because of what? Them now abiding
by the law of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
The simple fact that they stay together
after he divorced her,
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala might make something happen.
Even brothers and sisters, if they hate each
other, how many couples do we find? They
hate each other, and they go through problems
and everything.
I believe, and this is what Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala tells us.
The promise of Allah doesn't fail in his
promise. They just can't get on.
They feel like halalas. They can't do anything
else. There's no mokhan in a marriage.
But because they stay together,
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
can make things happen between them
simply because they abided by the law of
Allah Azza wa Jal.
Brothers and sisters,
we know that Allah
SWT can change the hearts of the people.
He can flip it
to the right and flip it to the
left. The prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,
he said
The
hearts are between
2 fingers from the fingers of Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala.
If Allah
wants to
put it on the right path, he'll do
that and if he wants to deviate it,
he'll do that as well. The point is
Allah will flip it however he will.
If they hate each other,
they just can't get on, they can't stand
each other, Just abide by the law of
Allah
that one time, just give it a try.
Give it a try.
Hoping
that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala will put that
love back into your relationship
and things will get better.
I've been told by trustworthy individuals, there was
couples, wallahi, they hated each other. It reached
a point where they were hitting each other
or he was hitting her, they were fighting.
They were told that fuqum of Allah azza
wa Jal as mentioned in this ayah and
they came back together
and now they're living such a happy life,
and they've got children,
and everything
is happy again
simply because of what the baraka
of applying
the hukum of Allah and that's the that
we previously mentioned
Whoever now from the male and the female,
they do good deeds. Good deeds is applying
by the law
of Allah
and this person is a believer. This person
will give him a good life,
happy life, the life that we all want.
And this is also for someone to think
about. If he's got problems in his life,
why do I have problems in my life?
Maybe
because I am doing that which Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala said in Surataha
turning away from the remembrance of Allah SWAJAN
let's now read some of the statements
of he was asked a question like this
so, ibn al Fatima
replied back and he said:
The woman who has been revocably divorced
must remain in her husband's house
The first talaqah.
Once, she is now divorced.
The first talaq, he gives a tawha, he
says you're divorced.
The first one.
Because the man gets 3, we're talking about
the first one now.
She must remain in her husband's house, and
it is haram for her husband to turn
her out of the house. It is impenetrable
for the guy to kick her out, you
can't take her out of the house.
Because Allah
says,
and do not turn them
out of their homes, the that we previously
mentioned,
do not take them out,
nor shall they leave,
and the woman shouldn't leave us all.
Except in the case they are guilty of
some open illegal sexual *,
and those are the limits that have been
set by Allah
and whomsoever transgresses
the set limits of Allah
then indeed he has wronged himself.
Now this is the point,
what do people do nowadays
whereby
if a woman is revocably divorced
she goes immediately
to her family's house.
This is wrong and it is haram because
Allah says,
don't take them out,
and she can't leave.
He made no exceptions
from that, this is what Ibn Uthimin is
saying, unless
she has committed open illegal sexual *.
Then he says after that,
and those are the set limits of Allah
until
the end of the ayah. Then he explains
the wisdom behind
obliging her to remain in her husband's house
and he says,
no not. It may be that Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala will afterwards
bring some new thing to pass.
Might return her back to you
if that was the first or second divorce.
The Sheikh
says the Muslims must pay attention to the
limits said by Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and
adhere
to what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has enjoined
upon them
and they should not take traditions
and customs
as a means of going against the injunctions
of the Sharia.
Traditions, cultures, customs,
this is what the majority of the people
do and we do not follow the majority
we don't Allah
tells us and defames following the majority.
If you follow the majority of the people
on the earth, they will lead you astray.
Just because everybody
is doing it, it's not justification.
Also Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells us
most of the people don't believe their mushrik,
Allah
also
says
and those that believed in not were only
few Allah says also
and
few are those
are we going to use the numbers as
as a justification as an excuse
and they did this so we're gonna do
this as well
that he mentions in his kitab
from the matters
of the people of
The point that we must pay attention to
this matter and remember that the woman who
is revocably divorced
is obliged to remain in her husband's house
until the end of a 'idah. When does
the 'idah finish? Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells
us,
the divorced woman,
she has to wait
until
3 menstrual cycles come to an end.
3 menstrual cycles. Then
and it is not lawful for her to
hide that which is growing in her stomach
if she believes in Allah
Another reason why she should stay in the
house,
maybe
they had sexual *
the day before the marriage and she's gonna
become pregnant,
and now
if they divorce
and she goes back to her mother's house
or her father's house,
he could be pregnant with a woman with
a child that he doesn't even know about.
And sometimes a lot of the time you
find brothers and sisters that once the child
comes,
once she gets pregnant,
yeah, any things can be, you know, looked
into further,
they can reason,
you know,
and they can try and sort things out
for their child's sake.
A benefit that my brother, may Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala blessing called Abdul Haman Adani,
one of the brothers that teaches in some
of the masajid in
Lesta,
That he benefited with me, me with, may
Allah
bless him,
that he once heard from
Mohammed
who is part of the
the permanent committee
in Saudi Arabia of Ifta.
And he was basically transmitting a benefit
from Imam Shankiti, Muhammad Al Amin Shankiti,
Sahib Uddhu Al Bayan,
the great tafsir
that we have of Muhammad
the great imam, the teacher of imam
as Sadiq
He one time mentioned
when the husband devotes his wife,
everybody's angry the first day.
She's angry with him, he's angry with her,
naham.
She's meant to be in his house, Sah,
she's meant to be in his house.
The first day they're angry with each other.
This is now regarding in the people that
are
abiding by the law of Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala. The first day they're angry, they're giving
each other dirty looks.
The second
day, it becomes more or less.
The third day becomes better.
She goes and makes some tea or some
coffee.
She says to him, do you want some
as well?
Things have become much better.
He's given her the looks, she's given him
the looks,
the nice looks. They're looking at each other.
Matters have become, as you can see,
much more
better
and
it's basically becoming more and more better as
time goes on. This is because they're what?
They're together in the same place.
The following day,
they miss each other, they hug,
or they might even kiss. The 5th day,
they decide to get back with each other,
because they're missing
each other's
personalities
that which they used to obviously do together.
This is because what? They stayed in the
same place. The ulama have told us
that as soon as the woman leaves,
this is when the nazakat al sheikhaniyah comes
in. People are telling her stuff, She's hearing
this from Fulan and Allan,
and it just builds a negative
impression
about her husband that she was married to,
and it just leads her to maybe even
hating him and
becoming more far and far away from him.
The point I'm trying to get across to
you, my brothers and sisters,
come back to Allah fulfill
his
obligation
and will have the happy life.