Abu Taymiyyah – Dealing With Ferocious Lust A Discussion Between Abu Sumayyah &
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
Brothers and sisters in Islam, welcome back to
another episode of discussions.
This is your brother Abu Samayyah, and today
I'm joined with Ahi Abu Taymiyyah.
How are you doing? It's
It's really nice to have you
today
to discuss a few things, some important things.
One of the things I wanted to touch
upon on today was you gave a lecture
not long ago, a little bit earlier,
and we spoke about well, rather, you spoke
about
the heart. Yeah. And you also touched upon
things that affect the heart, and, the window
to the heart, so to speak, is the
eyes and what we look at. No. I'm
saying. And you mentioned about the mobile phone,
how how dangerous this is in this day
and age if not using the right or
the wrong way. So, I mean, just just
explain a little bit about that.
Dear respective brothers and sisters,
this is a very prevalent
disease
that has currently not just the Muslims have
been hit by, but rather even you find
that some of the non Muslims, rather a
lot of the non Muslims
are also suffering from. And we find that
in the religion of al Islam,
there are certain things that have been made
prohibited for us which could eventually lead to
us being destroyed in this dunya
and likewise in the akhirazo.
You find that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala in
the Quran, he has told us to lower
our gaze. Arim Al Qaym tells
us about
lowering
the
gaze.
It is from the biggest of foundations
and the main ones that allow a person
to safeguard his heart because we know if
our heart becomes corrupted
everything else becomes corrupted
and we will eventually become destroyed in this
dunya and likewise the Aqra.
Becomes corrupted everything else becomes corrupted.
And if that becomes rectified
everything else becomes rectified and this is the
heart. We shouldn't be surprised if all of
a sudden now
things that we used to be shy about
previously, that we are now doing in the
open.
Okay. I'm sure there has been times in
our life where we used to be scared
to do things in front of the public,
like in front of our parents,
in front of our friends, but now we
just go and do this you know perfectly
normally without any issues.
And this again, it goes back to the
heart having become corrupted
and now it's being projected by the limbs.
Okay, projected onto the limbs. So,
like I mentioned before, you need these eyes
that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala gifted to us
and I say it's a gift because my
brothers and sisters, Allah Azza wa could easily
remove that,
okay? As Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
says,
If Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala will
He would have, you know, just removed our
sight,
He would also removed our hearing,
okay? And there's people who don't have that.
So we've been gifted by it and we
need to actually safeguard it by absolutely,
you know, really
looking after it. Here's here's the point you
make. You know, there's there's sins that we
do publicly
and we have no shame for doing it
in
this day and age, but there's certain sins
that people do in private. Okay? And there's
that's always been the case.
But there's certain things that people do on
private
when no one's
looking and they're on their own and I'm
talking about the dangers of * and so
forth. Okay? You know, the phone opens up.
You know, we could be walking down the
street,
and a man's natural inclination,
despite what agenda people try to push, is
an attraction
to women and vice versa.
Okay? And this is the biggest fitna of
the men? Exactly. As they were, we said
Yeah.
So, but on the street though, you can
always look away. No.
And generally speaking, how many, you know, women
are you going to look at before you
actually actively start reminding yourself that you're outside,
and other people are watching you as well.
Yeah. You know,
other than Allah.
But at home, when you're on your own,
you're in your bedroom,
and for, you know, for many I'm not
even talking about the the elder generation,
but for the younger generation who are not
married,
every advert that you come across
has some type of sexual.
So how does a person deal with that?
Okay.
As we mentioned earlier again Yani, it's this
bill of the phone. Okay a lot of
it now,
a lot of it now is being used
on people's phones
okay before,
they had to go into the computer. Yeah.
And the computer is what in the living
room? Everybody sits in the living room,
so it was a bit more difficult and
you know shaytan is always working and trying
to make Haram much easier for the people.
Okay. Even subhanAllah the poet he says
I had started disliking the internet
until I became so tight
inside a person. This is exactly what the
internet does, not only because he wastes his
time because of the poetry. Later on he
says this: Okay
because we waste so much time, you know
sometimes we find ourselves serving, we see one
video after the other on the recommended
list and it just ends up wasting so
much time. That's one thing, that which is
more greater is, this is one of the
biggest means that destroys a person's heart.
Why? You look at one thing it leads
to another, it looks on another and another
and another okay. And if we're going to
do something about
it, it only makes sense that we kind
of furthering ourselves away
from this mobile phone. Okay I remember subhanAllah
Sheikh Abdul Karim Al Khudair was one of
the major scholars
in Saudi Arabia, he's also in the legend
of the day, I mean executive committee of
giving fatawa.
He used to have these rubbish phones, you
know these 10 pound, £20 phones. I don't
know what they call it. You know the
ones we used to have back in the
day?
It doesn't have some of them have color
and some of them don't. Well, this day
and age, it's a trap phone. A trap
phone? I don't know what I'm using. Drug
dealers use
it. This day and age. It's the reality,
isn't it? That's very true. Yeah. That's very
true. So anyways
he used to have this phone and then
all of a sudden
he
he bought these smartphones and he himself is
telling this story
because just randomly all of a sudden and
I've seen this happens normally on VPN.
I don't know if you don't know, we
in Saudi we use VPN, we switch it
on
in order to be able to use the
WhatsApp calling.
Okay
so anyways to cut a very long story
short, the Sheikh was saying all of a
sudden when he moved on to the smartphone,
just randomly he ended up seeing a picture
of
a woman who was exposing herself.
He goes I ended up leaving and I
went back to my trap phone
okay. Let's not call it a trap phone.
It.
So all these,
random phones. So anyways, like, for a person
to actually realize that this is an issue,
that's the first step,
And then he needs people around him to
be helping him.
Okay? So,
by maybe getting rid of this phone from,
you know, the the early stages so a
person becomes detox, what do they call it?
Okay. Like a detox. It's easy to say
get rid of your phone, but Yeah. The
phones are just not a phone this day
and age. Look. We've got social media on
the phone. Yeah? Yeah. We've got emails on
the phone. Yeah. People take use their phone
to make videos and, you know, and whatnot.
So the phone now is everywhere. It's too
late to get rid of it now. It's
never gonna leave. No. I'm saying for a
period of time,
until an individual's immune system becomes free of
this sickness they're suffering from. Because it's an
addiction now.
People are suffering from an addiction, people wanna
leave it. I've seen even practicing brothers who
have emailed me previously
and every
means that is leading you to,
every means that is leading you to,
you know, this haram thing. Like a drug
dealer now. Okay. You have to try. Why
do they go into this? What do they
call it? They go into this,
what do they call it when they go
into, detox?
Rehab? Rehab, that's the word I was looking
for. They go into rehab
and they're in this house for like 30
40 days or even more than that and
all the wasail, the means that gets them
back into drugs are cut off from them.
And this is not anything different, you're addicted,
they're addicted over there and he's addicted to
this. So if you're telling me now you're
addicted to watching * and it's on your
phone, it only makes sense that you go
far away from it.
Do you see my point?
And I'm not saying that you totally cut
yourself off on the phone, but if you
truly want to change and rid this from
your habits, you would have to get far
away from that phone.
Okay so that's something that an individual person
can do.
Try to lock off the phone. Yeah.
And and guard their eyes and and so
forth.
What can society do?
Do you do you see what I'm saying?
None. None. Families,
what what can they do? Okay. Because you
know when you look at the issue of
*, a lot of the reason as to
why somebody might turn to * is because
he wants to fulfill his desire. We as
human beings,
you know Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala, he made a partner for another partner,
the husband for the wife
And one of the
you know things that come out of marriage
is for a person to be able to
fulfill his desire because especially you were living
in a very
sexual
society where everywhere you look you find the
opposite gender being
used as sexual objects
and us living and seeing this all the
time, the heart begins to crave this as
well. Like he affects the heart, like looking
around you all the time when you see
this of course the heart bit blackens, you
know a dot after a dot as the
messenger salallahu alaihi wa sallam told
us a black dot gets placed on a
person's heart until it becomes so black and
it becomes covered
and everything starts becoming normal for that person.
Okay
a couple of years ago I
remember Canadians
from Canada
they emailed me. Where else would Canadians be
from?
Okay Canadians,
Canadians,
but brothers from Canada, brothers from Canada,
they emailed me and they told me that
there was a very big fitna in Canada.
And this fitna was,
practicing brothers.
One thing to get married, wanting now to
fulfill the other half of their religion.
And that's something here. Today we find a
lot of youngsters, even our sisters at the
age of 19 20 saying I'm not ready
to get married,
even brothers saying I'm not ready to get
married. So if we have a youngster now
who's
wanting to protect himself from Zina,
okay,
and he wants to now fulfill the objective,
one of the objectives that the al islam
came with which is to
get married, okay.
In order for a person to protect his
religion as the messian sallallahu alaihi wasallam he
said,
Youhush Shabab, O Shabab, O Youngsters. Whoever amongst
you is able to get married, let this
person get married for indeed it is better
for the eyes, it helps him, you know,
lower his gaze and it also protects his
private part. And this individual now who, you
know watches *, he's not necessarily protecting his
private part because what, he's fulfilling his desire.
So the point is,
they emailed me saying that there's practicing brothers,
they've got beards,
they've got Phelps. Okay they want to get
married
but the parents now
are making things very very difficult. Not in
any way am I
trying to justify the sin that they are
falling into at all. Okay. Of course, you
can't necessarily
blame someone else in totality.
They're trying to get married
and parents are telling them you need to
have a degree
or you need to or both of them
actually, you need to have a degree and
you need to have $20,000
as well. Okay so a youngster like this
who is trying to protect himself, you tell
him bring up 20,000.
We know Abu Samayi,
we're living in a society where it's very
difficult to accumulate money like that. Of course
it is. I mean,
I think you hit the nail on the
head when it comes to the families making
it difficult. Yeah. Families make it very difficult.
Sometimes for the right reasons, meaning there's some
good reasons involved,
but it's overshadowed by culture and bad reasons.
No. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with, you know,
making sure that the daughter marries a a
righteous man. I have to say none. He
has good lineage. Say hey. You know, he's
an upright moral person. He has a good
job he can provide for. Yeah. Of course.
Of course. But then it's going to extreme
making sure that even if someone fits that
category, but no. You keep adding stipulation stipulation
stipulation.
Some families actually see it to be belittling
for their daughter to go out out the
house, to leave the home and get married,
and the maha is really really low. You
know you remember my maha? Yeah. When I
was in Saudi and I come across,
a a man,
he must been in his mid thirties. Mhmm.
I think he was originally from Afghanistan, but
he'd been I think he was born in
Saudi, raised there, and everything like that.
And, the issue or the topic of marriage
come up,
because we we were shopping,
and he and he worked in the shop.
And,
he said he wasn't married,
and all of a sudden, I scratched my
head, I was like, yeah, how do how
can you be 30 plus years old and
not married?
Now, brothers and sisters, you got to realize
something. We're talking about
the desires that human beings are made with.
Every guy likes a a girl and every
girl likes a guy. Of course. Okay. That's
the natural
way of life.
And there's nothing wrong with it. Nothing wrong
with it. Yeah. It's not a tibut. Issue.
So when you see a grown man Yeah.
And he's not married, don't forget if you're
thinking of good of a person. Either that
person is doing something haram, zina.
Yeah? Yeah.
You see what I'm saying? Why would you
logically not be married? There's all sorts of
things that I'm not ready. But do you
do you not ready to to do you
not want a woman? Do you not want
a man? No. It it it definitely is
a very big issue. And he said to
me, it was an issue about money. You
know what come to my mind? Yeah. You
know, brothers and sisters, this is just a
topic about how we can do things to
better yourself.
Right? I was thinking if I was in
that situation, may Allah protect me. Mhmm.
That these poor
I've been
with some of the teachers that teach in
Masjid Nabawi. I've been with them,
and they've taken me by the hand, and
we've gone, and he's shown me the widows.
It's hung up. And some of them are
young women. Yeah. You know, they have and
they they give them zakat. They give them
rations, you know, bag of onions, bag of
potatoes,
bag of carrots,
and this is what the the sheikh does,
may Allah, preserve him. And I was thinking
why would you not marry one of them?
So this is a double standard
now. He's finding what he wants to get
the woman he wants to marry, the family
make it difficult,
but he's not looking to the other alternative.
Well, just because she's poor?
Well, that poor marriage is a halal marriage
and you wouldn't be in the situation you're
in and Allah knows best what at the
end of the day your desires lead you
to sin, your desires lead you to *,
your desires lead you to *, your desires
lead you to
and so forth. So
just maybe going back to that point where
you know pertaining
making marriage really really difficult,
SubhanAllah if we just like stand over the
statement of the best of creation, the messian
sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
He mentioned something and subhanAllah you can take
a lot
out of it. He said in a hadith,
Whoever comes to you and you're satisfied with
his religion,
okay, and you also see that he has
good conduct, good mannerism,
aluhu,
either that you do this, otherwise there will
be such a big corruption
on the face of this earth. What is
this corruption that we're currently seeing
now? Wallahi our parents you know, this is
like a humble
sincere advice
from your,
from your son, from your child.
I don't think you'll not know what's going
on with the youngsters,
because if that's if that was the case
then I don't think we would make marriage
difficult for them. Okay they won't necessarily tell
you this because it doesn't make sense for
a child to come and tell his
even the sister telling her mother oh I'm
addicted to *, I watch * and this
is how I fulfill my desires.
And this is so prevalent. It is widespread
more than what we can even imagine. You'll
be surprised the amount of correspondence
that I receive and some of them are
even practicing, they really want to
fulfill their desires in a halal way but
they end up becoming is an issue. Them
you know obviously falling into the Haram is
but it is an issue.
Them you know obviously falling into the haram
is a problem and they are going to
be held to account
but us making you know really hard,
is a very big problem. And then later
on we begin to regret.
When now he goes and has a haram
relationship
and she gets pregnant,
this is when I realized the parents they
rush, in order to stop shame coming to
the family.
How many times have I seen
a family marrying them both off
after she became pregnant?
She was saying no no no no no
no, the mother or the dad is saying
no.
Later on they end up having a haram
relationship or behind closed doors they do zina
and some of them they
they know the only time the parents are
going to get them married off is if
he impregnates her.
So he uses that as an opportunity in
order what to get married
her, you see. And the messenger sallallahu alaihi
was telling me, he did say to us,
khayru sadaq eisaru, as it came in the
hadith
of Uqbat ibn Amir
the best type of Mahar is that which
is the most easiest.
And just because you know people are going
to look down on you, Wallahi we don't
necessarily care about the people. Yes they will
look down but which one
is a
bigger matter that brings contention and pleases Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala most. People just talking maybe
for a couple of months saying: Oh that
the wedding was or the food wasn't necessarily
nice because we decided to make things really
easy for our younger
children.
Oh Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala being pleased and
through that maybe righteous children can come out.
They were born in a halal way,
you see.
So brothers and sisters is
just to conclude really,
the phone
can either lead you to good or evil
So here. And there's far more evil out
there than perhaps good,
but you have to safeguard yourselves, you have
to
and we're not angels that are sitting here.
Obviously, we make mistakes, and we sin, and
we have our own problems. But
for you brothers and sisters who have
problems
and issues,
you gotta
find the halal alternative.
You gotta do things in the right way,
and if it means having more patience
until that halal thing comes your way,
do it.
To fast, like for example to fast, you
know, it really and it's like a form
of castration,
use the word normally castrate for animals.
Okay, what they tend to do is sometimes
in order to stop them from having
Imatayeem
talks about this, he says that when a
person is fasting
it reduces the blood that is running through
a person's blood vein.
Okay, and the Messenger sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
what did he say it was inna shaitaan
yajreaminibna ada majjaladdam. The shaitaan,
it runs
through the bloodstream of an individual just like
his blood runs through his body.
Okay so now when your blood is being
reduced the shaitaan has
a more thinner
reduced place to be able to run through.
Of course.
And you can see as well like a
person he tends to feel much much
weaker,
that desire doesn't seem to be there when
a person is fasting.
If
you can't fast the Siam of Dawood which
is the best type of fasting, fasting one
day and I'm missing one day okay. And
yeah honey this is maybe a very good
place to start, it's a very good place
to start.
It's a good it's a good precaution to
take
because when you're in when you indulge in
things that you know you shouldn't be looking
at No. Or doing,
then you you can't progress in your religion.
No. I'm saying You know, you think why
can't I memorize?
You gotta look at the sins. Why can't
I do this? Why can't I have a
good Ramadan?
I'm hearing these stories of the salaf. They
used to do this, they used to pray
like this, they used to recite exima of
Quran and understand exima of Quran. Why can't
I do it? You know, SubhanAllah, Ibraheem
Okay, it is called the medicine in the
sickness or the cure in the sickness, however
you want to translate it. He mentions
from what I remember 24 points
of bad effects of sins.
And this point that you just mentioned was
the first point that he started with. Really?
That when a person can't memorize,
when he's trying to seek knowledge and the
knowledge doesn't seem to be going in, that's
the first point that he mentioned, Hirmaanul
Ill. And you know brothers and sisters, when
we look at the sins and the effects
that it has on our life, in our
dunya and likewise in the akhira,
this is like also a step that will
allow a person to really
go far away from the sins that he
is indulging in.
Okay like for example he
mentions the example of Imam Shafi'i
when he sat in front of
Imam Malik.
Imam Malik
became shocked of how intelligent he was,
okay, and how sharp and how,
immense his understanding was. He said to him,
I see that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has
placed Allah in your heart. Do not extinguish
the light with the darkness of sinning.
SubhanAllah.
Okay,
also you know Imam Shafi'i
complained to Waqir. Waqir was an individual, a
hafid, who was really,
you know, immense when it came to memorization.
Even one time an individual he said
him, he went to Waqiya and he said
to him: what is the
cure for memorization
or forgetting? What is the cure for constantly
forgetting?
Because they never used to see wakiyah carrying
a book, it was all memorization. He said
to him: If I was to tell you
now, are you going to implement? He goes:
You Allah, I will I will do that.
So he said to him:
Leaving off sins, I haven't tried anything like
it. And also my brothers,
like how can you worship Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala
without the ilm? You have to be seeking
ilm
and you can only do that by seeking
knowledge, right, to be able to worship
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. We're going to do
that. If you're in the middle of a
battle, wallahi abusameyah.
I've seen brothers who
you know, MashaAllah, they were given a tofir
to go to in Madinah.
They are in the middle of a battle
of addiction.
Okay, some of them I remember one time
a brother he sat he sat when he
he said he's still in a relationship, he
was relatively new,
may Allah help him.
He was instilling a relationship and he was
struggling.
There's brothers that I met that were struggling
to go to the Haram.
These were relatively new, okay. They were struggling
to go and this is exactly what the
sins does,
it ties a person up, it restricts you,
it imprisons you, it stops you from doing
khair. And there's so many that can go
on InshaAllah,
maybe you can find this on my youtube
channel.
It's a part 2, the effects of sins
taken from the kitab of milkaym
We could easily go through it now
but I think we're trying to tackle a
certain
topic at this moment in time.
Even Imam Shef
has got some lines of poetry where he
said
I complained to Sheikh Wawakir
because of me having you know a loss
of memorization and he told me to leave
of sins.
He never said to him: Oh you're old,
oh you know InshaAllah don't worry about it.
He said to him: Stay away from sins.
This is Mameha Shaikh who
sometimes had to cover one side because his
memorization was so good, because he was muddling
up with the other side of the page.
That's how good his memorization was. He has
to cover 1 in order to be able
to memorize this accordingly,
You know? You know, brothers and sisters, it's,
very important that you, a, understand
that wherever you're indulging in in these types
of things,
* and so forth, you know, * and
* that, you know, is the link.
And first know that it's haram
and know that it can never benefit you,
rather it only harms you in the spiritual
aspect
and in the physical aspect as well. If
you ever get married later you can have
problems? Yeah, exactly. The the not only,
you know, will an individual have an issue
with,
being able to fulfill the desires of his
wife.
Okay.
Lines. And the other issue is, what tends
to happen is, and I've looked into this
as all, okay, an individual is attracted to
his wife in the beginning,
and for many years years, then all of
a sudden
he loses attraction to her. Why? Because he's
constantly
thinking of all these
women that are Fake women. Fake women. They're
not real. Yeah. They don't exist like that.
No. They they
they they watch *.
And, obviously, when when they make *, they're
not going to,
bring you an unattractive lady. Do you see
what I'm saying? You know, you're Yeah. You
mentioned we're talking about So he loses attraction
to his wife. 100%. And what ends up
happening, you know,
*
is like most addictions
where
the need for it grows
and and it changes. So, like, for example,
if someone's no one starts off as an
alcoholic. No. Something leads him there. Different types
of drink leave him lead him there. No.
Different types of alcohol, spirits, whatever, lead him
to that position. So here,
alcohol, spirits, whatever,
lead him to that position. Sahe. And no
one ends up as a crackhead or
a heroin addict.
Overnight? Overnight. Saher. Something leads him there where
they'd be smoking, then weed, and so forth,
and no one ends up as a *.
And that brings me to that. And now,
before you before you get into that and
I just want to drive that point home.
The reason why. Yeah Allah did not create
man in this way,
mankind
to have this
disgusting
* kind of desire
Right? And if you even if you watch
some of these,
programs, they come on TV in that way,
they expose them.
These people say when they ask why do
you like, you know, children under a certain
age, and they said, we don't know. I
never used to be like this. Mhmm. True.
You never used to. That's true.
What led you to that?
You know, in the genres of *, there
are so many
animals,
*,
* * I didn't even know there was
that. * *,
and you look at some of these, you
know, * and all of this sort of
stuff,
these are these become genres.
Why? Because a person needs more, and he
needs more, and he needs
more. And until the heart is so black,
then you know what these people do. We
read the we read the articles,
you know, Muslim and non Muslim alike, if
you fall into this sin, shaitan will wrap
you up
as he's wrapped up those people, those sick
people we have seen, so the main thing
is safeguard yourself because it can be a
very dangerous slope and be patient and wait
for the halal option and parents
and family members, siblings and friends, yo, I'm
gonna say it like this. If Abu Bakr
gave his daughter to his best friend
and Umar gave his daughter to his best
friend and the prophet being the prophet
and
the Prophet gave his daughters
to his friends. Closest
Uthma. And
Ali, who was a relative.
Why can't one best friend give to his
other best friend, his sister?
Not that he owns that, but rather it's
a recommendation. And it's also kind of like
the,
the society, the way they think and they
move. Okay? They sometimes feel it's a bit
embarrassing to go and offer your daughter. No,
Umram Khattab radiAllahu ta'ala Anhu he offered his
daughter. To who? To Abu Bakr radiAllahu ta'ala
Anhu initially. And then later on you know
they didn't want to do anything, why? Because
uh-uh they knew that the Messenger sallallahu alaihi
wasallam, and he was thinking about Hafsata hafsatar
radiAllahu ta'ala. Okay, I'm going back to the
other point subhanAllah when he was talking about
it led onto something, you know a *
or a * never just became a *
overnight.
Ibn al Qayyim
mentioned something very powerful. He said,
another
Beridul Jima.
Bariduzina.
Okay. Looking
is the first spark
that leads to Azina.
Just like you know kissing your wife leads
to what? It's the first spark
that leads to
intimacy, right?
Nam. So Yani, it's always somewhere where it
started from, like you mentioned. And this is
why SubhanAllah
Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala started with
what? Lowering your gaze Al Muqtaym
said: He said:
Tell the believing man to lower his gaze
and tell the believing woman to lower her
gaze as well, and then safeguard your private
part. And this is why it's very difficult
for blind man to go and,
and fornicate.
And he can't necessarily see and,
I think, you know, you mentioned the companions.
What we have to realize, okay, we, the
companions, are are our role models. Right. And
the early generation of Muslims are our role
models. Yeah. Right?
Yeah.
The companions,
they wouldn't turn to whoever their version of
* was.
They get married. They would look for the
women. They they and and society was such
that they would offer
their women
to people. Yeah? Yeah. And the women were
the same. A woman wouldn't want to, you
know, I'm going to call it self harming.
It's not self pleasure, it's self harm. She
wouldn't self harm herself, rather she would go
out and she would get a man. Say
So we have to make those means
easy. Easy for the man. Yeah. Okay. We
talk about family blocking them. Sometimes we ourselves
are blocking it. Look. We're all a group.
We have groups of friends.
Each friend has a group,
and within them, they have sisters.
You know your friend is good. You you
eat together. You play together. You know, you
play in football, whether it be PS 4
or whatever, your Xbox and that. You do
all of that together. You go to the
mosque together. You study together. You go abroad
together. You do all of these things together.
If you don't
you do all of these things together. If
you don't approve of him, who are you
gonna approve of? And it's not something shayva
to be rejected. Exactly. Say it to your
friend, yeah, Baba. People
are scared to be rejected. That's not it's
perfectly normal. And it happens, you know, Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala decreed, you know, like Hazbar
Khalaikul,
You see? Well, this is the point, you're
gonna be rejected.
So I'm gonna come to you because obviously,
you know, masha'Allah, you brothers are, you know,
big on the social
media platforms.
You're gonna get people sliding into DMs and
stuff like that. Right?
So
you're gonna get people starting to DMs and
stuff like this.
Brothers,
just ask her if she wants to get
married, and sisters do the same.
I'm sure you must have maybe 50,000
requests.
No. No. No. So, I didn't quite hear
what you what did you say? I'm saying
if if, you know, on social media. Let's
say for example okay.
As a you're following someone on social media
right
and
obviously, they're posting stories
and pictures and videos and whatnot.
You like that person?
Instead of
liking a 1000000 pictures
and leaving Masha'Allah comments.
Or even like sliding into a diem and
sending your pictures to them and becoming a
fitna. Yeah? Just straight up asking me for
when they get married. Just say no, so
what? Well I think it's best that they
don't ask
whether they want to get married to you,
and it's best to kind of
like send their wali, a guardian
or send their brother
okay, because
you know guys Wallahi, it's Yani,
I don't necessarily care how you know righteous
an individual is,
he's not safe.
This is why I personally have placed people
on my social media, okay, like my Instagram,
there's people watching it.
So to protect yourself,
you've endangered others.
And by the end of the day, like,
if if you're No. Okay. I know what
you mean. I know you mean. And then
there's other
there's other on there,
they might look at the stories and things
like that.
But they're like there to see
Yani if if somebody makes a wrong move.
If they end up messaging obviously I'm gonna
find out, somebody else is gonna find out.
You need to have multiple guys on there
and nobody is safe okay because
if you look at
DMing people,
even though it's not necessarily seclusion that the
messenger sallallahu alaihi wa sallam talked about, but
a big fitna can come out of it.
The messenger sallallahu alaihi wa sallam he told
us:
Never does a person seclude himself with a
woman like the opposite gender except that a
third person is a Shaitaan.
Okay even though khalwa it means
to have 2 people in the same room
together, that's not necessarily hallowah but it comes
very close to it and fitna does come
out of it. You ask now for marriage,
he asks a question and then she asks
and I've just seen this over the years,
it can become a very big fitna and
it could cause both of them, they might
be very good people to become corrupted and
to fall into a hole.
So my advice is
if you kind of became attracted to a
Dahi or whoever it might be, to send
your brother and not necessarily be you because
you could become a fitna for him and
he could become a fitna for you and
both of you might be very righteous people
and it's happened to righteous people as well.
Yes of course they need to
safeguard themselves, they need to look after themselves,
but guys it's their
fitna. Women are the fitna of men no
matter how much of a great dad you
are.
And I saw you know sisters putting on
twitter and things later on when this whole
fiasco, this drama broke out: Oh but they
should be protecting themselves, they should be lowering,
yes they should be, but you're a fitna
for them. It's just how the man has
been created.
Okay, so yes, the guy should be safeguarding
himself and at the same time,
women need to stop being a fitna for
them. Okay. If you have a question, you
ask your question, you keep it moving. You
don't send any laws to them. You know,
the funny thing is Yeah. Is that when
people say that when women say to men,
oh, you should control yourselves. Yeah.
If we have to in this country No.
By law,
a shopkeeper has to keep hitting the cigarettes.
He has to hide the cigarettes? Yeah. I
didn't even know that. You know, I've walked
in a shop. Yeah. They
have a behind the counter. Hajjib. They they
have to cover them up now.
Hajjib.
Before, they just used to have on the
boxes. Right? No, no. They used to have
on the boxes, the hams. That's the leh.
Okay. The display is hidden.
Mhmm. Okay. So the display of cigarettes is
hidden
for those who, you know, have a smoking
habit.
Because it reminds them, ain't it? It reminds
them. So then what about you know, then
Allah was absolutely right when he sent down
the verses
of hijab and
so forth. So I think on that note,
we'll end.
For your time and for your advice and
for this discussion.