Abu Bakr Zoud – Six Fundamentals Of Raising A Righteous Family

Abu Bakr Zoud
Share Page

AI: Summary ©

The conversation discusses the importance of men and women in relationships and how they influence others. The negative impact of being busy on one's well-being, including mental health and physical health, is discussed. The benefits of working from home and focusing on personal development are also highlighted. praying and watering someone at night are also discussed.

AI: Summary ©

00:00:00 --> 00:00:28
			Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah while
Ali or sabe Germaine, All Praise and thanks belongs to Allah subhanho wa taala. And may the peace
and blessing of Allah be upon His servant and final messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
as to what follows My dear respected Brothers and Sisters in Islam as salaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi
wa barakaatuh
		
00:00:30 --> 00:00:53
			hamdulillah for this opportunity that Allah azza wa jal has granted us that we gather in one of the
houses of his the best of places on earth to ask Allah azza wa jal to grant us acceptance. We asked
him SubhanaHu wata Allah to forgive our sins and our shortcomings. My Brothers and Sisters in Islam,
tonight's lecture is titled, fundamentals of raising a righteous family.
		
00:00:55 --> 00:01:29
			And today, there are many challenges. When raising a righteous family. People are complaining that
it is difficult to raise children in this day and age in this country that they are in, these are
the complaints. I've now traveled across Australia. And the majority of people that would speak to
me after the lecture or before the lecture, a lot of the complaints were about challenges that
they're facing, while raising their children
		
00:01:30 --> 00:01:31
			to benefit them.
		
00:01:34 --> 00:02:16
			How do we remain righteous? How do we remain upon La Ilaha illa Allah? How do we preserve our faith,
our Eman, our prayers? How do we fulfill our obligations and keep away from the prohibitions? If the
parents themselves are struggling? How do we instill this within our children and so on? Many
complaints, and I think you understand that the matter is not easy. And so I've put a few
fundamentals together, that if they are followed by the family, by the parents, the husband and the
wife, and the children, then in sha Allah, Allah, this family by the permission of Allah develops
into a righteous family. These are six fundamentals that each and every single one of us must
		
00:02:16 --> 00:02:22
			memorize. Not only that, but then to implement and apply in their life and have a great
understanding of them.
		
00:02:23 --> 00:02:41
			You see my brothers and sisters in Islam, at the very beginning, at the core of a righteous family,
of the parents, the husband and the wife, it all begins from there. It all begins from the very
first step. And so we begin with our first fundamental and that is marrying the righteous person.
		
00:02:42 --> 00:03:21
			You might be married, that's fine, you can still hear me so that you can refresh the intentions for
why you're married and to understand this institution of marriage. And I also see some young boys
here among us that are not married. And perhaps there are some young sisters that are not married,
which inshallah Allah this will be beneficial for them and beneficial for all of us by the will of
Allah subhanho wa Taala the first fundamental marrying the righteous person, if the husband and the
wife are righteous then in sha Allah who's likely that is the start of a righteous family. And if
the husband and the wife are not righteous, they are corrupted. They have abandoned the deen and the
		
00:03:21 --> 00:04:02
			teachings of Islam, then most likely, the family becomes corrupted as well. And I'm seeing most
likely because guidance is in the hands of Allah azza wa jal, Allah azza wa jal can guide whoever he
wants. Allah azza wa jal in the Quran he says, well, Bella, do you wish to be if not be? Well, let
me have both Elia Huzhou Illa NACADA gallican also referred I Atilla call me your school, Allah azza
wa jal, he says that the good land, the healthy fertile land, its vegetation emerges by the
permission of Allah Majan you have a healthy land and you put a healthy seed in there. The result is
a healthy crop and produce that will come out.
		
00:04:04 --> 00:04:22
			Well, let me hop off and the dry barren dead land the infertile land, the soil quality is quick. If
you put a good seed or a bad seed in layer hood, you Elana key that hardly anything is produced and
anything comes out at the end of the ayah Allah says Cavalli can have a single
		
00:04:24 --> 00:04:51
			This is how we diversify the ayat so that you may be grateful to Allah azza wa jal isn't Yes, this
is speaking about the land, but you can use the ayah to refer to many other things. There is a lot
in the words of Allah subhanho wa taala. And that's the ID. If the husband is righteous, the wife is
righteous, most likely they will produce a righteous offspring. And if both are corrupted, most
likely what comes out is also corrupted.
		
00:04:53 --> 00:04:57
			And we must know my brothers and sisters in Islam that the solution to family problems
		
00:04:59 --> 00:04:59
			they
		
00:05:00 --> 00:05:46
			So, before a family even comes into existence, and this is why they say, prevention is better than
treatment, right? The prevention is better than treatment than in the visa Allahu alayhi wa sallam
he says, Love Bara, Allah, whatever blob, that's a hadith, it's actually a principle in Islam as
well. Now, Bolivar, whatever it means for you to push away home, before it comes, is much better
than dealing with the harm after it has come. So the Muslim is always supposed to be a person who is
on the lookout, where's the home, and try to push it away from your life before it comes in. Because
when it comes in, you have to then deal with that harm. So that's the ID, the ideas, a lot of these
		
00:05:46 --> 00:05:53
			family issues and raising children upon righteousness and so on, could have been solved. If a person
decided
		
00:05:54 --> 00:06:06
			you need to take this first fundamental, serious and marry the righteous person. And of course,
marrying a righteous person. This is at the very beginning of the marriage. Everyone should ask
himself,
		
00:06:07 --> 00:06:17
			why am I getting married? Why did I get married for? Why? Is it because your parents are married?
And as a result, all you got to do the same thing?
		
00:06:18 --> 00:06:46
			All your friends got married, and you're the last one left, so hurry up and get married? Or is it I
don't want to be left alone? I need to get married? Or is it because you have a desire? In that
case? What's the difference between a human and an animal? Why do we get married? What's the
purpose? That's the very first thing you need to understand. We get married. And for those that are
married, you use what I'm seeing of information to refresh and you renew these intentions. The
believers seeks to marry
		
00:06:47 --> 00:07:32
			so that he can raise a righteous family. That's a great purpose in marriage. To have a righteous
family have a righteous daughter, a righteous son, that worship Allah assertion to complete your
email to raise children upon the worship of Allah to increase the number of the number of Rasulullah
sallallahu alayhi wasallam as a result, meeting in the recent Allahu Allah he will send them proud
of you on the Day of Judgment. Nabi SallAllahu, alayhi wa sallam he says there's a word you know, do
the loot, get married to the loving full time a woman in Nemo careful don't become alumina Hillman
piano, because I will be boasting of your great number. Before all the nations Yun in the diesel
		
00:07:32 --> 00:08:09
			Allahu alayhi wa sallam is encouraging us have lots of children, because I want to stand proud on
the day of judgment before all the other nations and say I have the greatest following. I have the
greatest number. And here the Greek number and the Greek following is not just Muslim by name, the
Greek following that in the VI sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is looking forward to meet a true
believers, Muslims that adhere to the commandments of Allah subhanho wa Taala not just by name in
the nuts the ID. This is an intention for why we get married.
		
00:08:11 --> 00:08:58
			And this is what every young man and every woman should intend when seeking marriage. And this is
why the prophets from the dua or be Hubley, meno Sally hain, see my Lord give me and grant me from
among the righteous, He didn't just say My Lord, give me a kid. Then he doesn't want any type of kid
give me a righteous child was a Korea Allah is set up or be heavily Milla don't get ready yet and
for Eva, my Lord, give me especially from you. A righteous a bright family, and generation. This is
what he's looking for crudeness intention for the rubbish, that's exactly what Allah azza wa jal
gave you. For Ibrahim Ismail Ali salam for Zachary Ayala, you Salem and their children are
		
00:08:58 --> 00:09:03
			righteous. A correct intention with dua gets you that matter.
		
00:09:06 --> 00:09:28
			And the intention of marriage is as we said to raise a child, that also will remember you are still
deaf and make dua for you. Because the door of a righteous child after you have died, goes a long
way in bringing you immense relief and reward in your grieving the recent Allahu alayhi wa sallam he
said that when
		
00:09:29 --> 00:09:59
			parents have died, they are in the Paradise and they go up. They are raised levels and ranks in the
Paradise. So they will say to Allah, where is this upgrade coming from? Why are we going up? Allah
azza wa jal, he says Be still fairly well Adicolor because there's a child in this world the life
you left behind, and He's righteous he's making dua for you. He's seeking forgiveness for you seeing
my Lord forgive my father, my mother, and you're going up and up and earning more and more of Allah
azza wa jal is pleasure.
		
00:10:00 --> 00:10:42
			How beautiful is this to know that that will be the hard work. That's your hard work in raising a
righteous child. So these are the intentions to raise righteous children. When the riesel Allahu
alayhi wa sallam said Neville Amell will be new yet, we're in Elementary in Manoa. You must intend
the good in order to receive the good. So after these righteous intentions, you must now actively
look to marry the one who will help you fulfill this righteous intention. So that's step one, you've
corrected your intention. You know why you'll get married? Next step, now start looking actively to
find that righteous brother altar I found that righteous sister,
		
00:10:44 --> 00:10:57
			when maybe some Allahu alayhi wa sallam, he advised the young men to marry the righteous woman.
Listen to Hadith and maybe sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said to get to the Alba woman is married
for four things.
		
00:10:58 --> 00:11:42
			And he's going to list them according to what people prioritize. He said firstly, leisure Melia for
her beauty for her looks. And that's the vast majority of what people do. They run off the looks
neglect and neglecting and ignoring every other aspect of life. That's number one. So people do
dimensioned the first because that's what people prioritize. One it has to be had and for her
reputation. Perhaps this is a woman coming from a noble family, a very famous family reputable
family. So she might not have the looks. She might not have the off. But people will say I will
marry her so I can be recognized among the community. I have a name for myself. This is among the
		
00:11:42 --> 00:11:42
			evil
		
00:11:43 --> 00:12:11
			Willie Melia. And she is also married for her wealth. So perhaps she doesn't come from a noble
family. She doesn't have any looks. She's not that pretty. There's others that are prettier than
her. But this person here decides that I'll marry her because her father died and she inherited a
fortune. Let me marry her for her many pieces. There are people like this as a Nabi sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam teaches us then in the visa Allahu alayhi wa sallam said at the end, Wali De Niro
		
00:12:13 --> 00:12:29
			and she is married for her religion. He put it at the end because that's where I put it. That's
where people put it. He said, Well, he Dini for righteousness. Then in the V sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam, he gave important advice. This is advice coming from
		
00:12:30 --> 00:13:27
			an Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the one who carries enormous mercy in his heart, towards his
ummah. He wants good for you more than your own parents. And he said, Furby Verity Dini, Terry
Bathia deck, he said from from race and rush to the one with religion, a dean. He didn't even say
that the dean of artisan wash, that would have meant choose the righteous one. Select the righteous
woman. He didn't say that. The verb he used for reform of offer. It implies wall, you can grab it
before others take it Hello, quick. There is victory there is success in this. That's the verb form
form. It gives this ID and this attitude of hurry up run and grab it before people take it because
		
00:13:27 --> 00:13:44
			this is a expensive commodity. Right that's the ID for fo B that Dini derivative Adak and problems
exist today. Among the youth and among a lot of couples, because they haven't taken the advice of of
Nabi SallAllahu, alayhi wa sallam seriously.
		
00:13:46 --> 00:13:58
			And Allah azza wa jal he even stressed on the importance of marrying the righteous woman. This is
Allah's word now in the Quran. Listen how Allah says it. He says what? A two minute on Hiram,
emotionally getting Allah.
		
00:14:00 --> 00:14:11
			Allah azza wa jal, he says, a believing sleeve female sleeve, a righteous female sleeve. You know
what he's asleep? Most likely she's not pretty.
		
00:14:12 --> 00:14:20
			She doesn't have Wolf. She doesn't have she doesn't own herself right? Because she is in the
ownership of her monster.
		
00:14:21 --> 00:14:44
			Allah has certainly seen that type of woman that is a sleeve but has Dean is much better. Hi, Johan
minuti kept in one of our Shabbat come from a disbelieving woman. Even if you are amazed with
everything about her, her looks off her reputation anything about her in life.
		
00:14:45 --> 00:14:56
			Why? Because this one has Dean This one doesn't have Dean. That's how Allah azza wa jal words. This
is intense words. All of the Allahu Anhu he said
		
00:14:57 --> 00:14:59
			nothing benefits a man I
		
00:15:00 --> 00:15:08
			After his faith in Allah, as much as a wife with good character, good character, meaning she's upon
greed deem
		
00:15:09 --> 00:15:22
			a loving and a fertile woman and he said nothing harms a man after disbelieving in Allah, as much as
a wife with evil character and a sharp tongue, right?
		
00:15:23 --> 00:16:07
			You need to know exactly where you want your life to head into. And in the end, every person will
realize that at the end, all he wanted was a righteous stance to live with for the rest of his life.
Maybe you don't pick this up at the beginning, or in the second year, but 10 years, 15 years down.
If you hadn't made that correct choice from the beginning, this is what every couple will realize at
the end. Because these four matters or the three matters that people marry for looks and wealth and
reputation. All this goes backwards. A person doesn't enhance in his looks everyday. Everyday you're
getting older, and Your looks are going backwards. Right? No matter how much you do with your face
		
00:16:07 --> 00:16:38
			and how much silicone and how much plastic you put. So going backwards. But one thing that never
goes backwards is a deen that is always advancing. And so if the spouse you have chosen to marry is
righteous and religious, and continues to work on our deen, she will look more beautiful every
single day because you married her for that. And that's getting better every day. On Wahaca the
marriage becomes firm and it becomes stable.
		
00:16:39 --> 00:16:55
			And if you are Cincy you Allah He my young brothers. If you're Cincy, looking for the one with Diem,
Allah social will satisfy you with her. And everything about her. There was a story of a man. He
said he had an intention to marry.
		
00:16:56 --> 00:17:40
			So he wanted to marry his cousin. And she was pretty. So he engaged. He did an engagement with her.
And he realized when he got to know her that she wasn't a woman upon Dean. So he got turned off,
because his intention was to marry a righteous woman, he got turned off, and he turned off from
marriage altogether. years later, he refreshed this commitment to get married. And he still
conditioned upon Himself that I will only marry the righteous woman. That's his intention. So he
said he began an intense course of making dua in a solid in our offer, in a hush in his formula when
fasting when traveling bla Allah grant me a righteous woman.
		
00:17:41 --> 00:18:11
			He says, then Allah azza wa jal granted me the righteous woman, he seemed righteousness in her, but
she wasn't as pretty as his cousin. But he needs to be true to his intention. So he married her. He
said, In one night, when we are sleeping, I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night. And I look
to the corner of my room, and I saw my wife standing in the corner praying. He was amazed. He never
knew that this woman gets up at night and prays
		
00:18:12 --> 00:19:01
			seems to be that she would get up silently, making although go and pray. So he tucked himself back
into bed and he slept. He said, that look of her standing and praying imprinted in my mind. It
looked like it just printed in his mind. He said, After that incident, every time he would go out
and about in his work, marketplace on the train, wherever he is, every time he said he saw a pretty
woman, the image of his wife praying would flush right before his eyes, and he would be disgusted
and turned off with anything he saw. Well, what about Allah azza wa jal satisfied him. Why? Because
he married with the right intention. And now he satisfied. There are probably a woman more than her,
		
00:19:01 --> 00:19:23
			but he's just turned off. Well, we're gonna get someone like this that is standing at night and
praying. This is indeed a mother of children. If she is righteous within herself, praying voluntary
prayers while he's sleeping. Then he has got on to victory as a Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
said for bidet Dean, right.
		
00:19:25 --> 00:19:52
			You see when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, God unto the one with Deen in take his
advice, because he is more merciful towards you than you are towards your own self. He knows what's
good for you. So blindly follow his advice, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And this very same talk
applies to the young sister when she is also looking for marriage. And this incident here. I
narrated so my young sister can hear it as well.
		
00:19:53 --> 00:19:59
			Upon her on the Allahu Anhu he requested almost saline for marriage.
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:20
			At the time he requested he was not a Muslim. So almost being the righteous woman she was. She said
Timo Margie Ma'am, if Lucaya upon Hatha Yoga, she said to me, I will call how Allah someone like you
cannot be rejected. He got manners. You're generous, you're good character you speak good words.
		
00:20:21 --> 00:20:31
			Well, I can Nicaraguan careful. But you're a disbelieving man. Sorry, I cannot accept your proposal
to marry me. Why not more often Muslim and non Muslim woman?
		
00:20:32 --> 00:20:43
			Well, I hadn't really and as a worship, and it is forbidden for me to marry you. We have this
problem, right? Today. In this day and age. A Muslim woman
		
00:20:45 --> 00:21:33
			wants to marry a disbelieving man. Right? There are now these kinds of scenarios and episodes that
are coming out. I ask Allah azza wa jal to protect us and protect our deen. It is not allowed for a
Muslim woman to marry a desert, even if he was a Christian or a Jew. Of course, and this is
different. To the map. A man in Islam is permitted to marry a Christian woman and a Jewish woman, an
annual Kitab as Allah azza wa jal mentioned in the Quran. But nowadays, Allah social, of course, has
put a condition for this lady and my son asked him Are you almost half your height? And well, I will
tell you that that woman that is still a virgin is not in any relationship with any man. mammon,
		
00:21:33 --> 00:21:54
			Albania Rahim Allah and he said, You will not find this today. The Christian woman and the Jewish
woman of today you will not find among them that have led to the conditions of Allah. So forget the
whole topic. And don't go after a Christian woman or a Jewish woman. It won't be allowed if she
doesn't fulfill those conditions. Anyway.
		
00:21:55 --> 00:22:07
			So about an almost nine makes it very clear, I cannot marry you. Then she says to him into slim
sadaqa hurry. If you accept Islam, that's going to be my mouth,
		
00:22:08 --> 00:22:55
			warmer alcohol and I don't want anything from you. Firstly, I can recommend Rohan. He went and took
a deep look into the matter. And he finally accepted Islam. And that was her but she didn't want
anything from him and had the anisopliae Allahu Anhu he said PHMSA Amir to be a Marathi and katakana
Colombo, Mohan Minami Sunni, he said, I have never come across any woman that had a more noble Maha
than the MaHA of Muslim, that this man who approached a marriage for him to accept Islam, like this
is a righteous woman. Look at this. She loved everything about him. But so long as he's a
disbeliever, no deal. I'm not interested. When he accepted Islam. She married him. Later on, she
		
00:22:55 --> 00:23:01
			became pregnant and she gave birth to her son. Her son got sick and he died. There's a long story in
this.
		
00:23:03 --> 00:23:28
			And her husband up upon her. He used to come into the house and ask about her son, how is our son?
How is he? How is he? He's sick. He's sick until one day he died, while we call her, came back home.
So she covered her son and put him in the corner of the bed and covered him in the corner of the
room and covered him. And he came into the house that night. And he said how is our son Obatala. She
said, he's now resting.
		
00:23:29 --> 00:23:33
			She meant he's dead. But he didn't understand this. Look how smart this woman knows.
		
00:23:34 --> 00:23:38
			So he slept with her. And he did what husband and wife do that night.
		
00:23:39 --> 00:23:42
			And he got up the next morning and she said to him, I want to tell you something.
		
00:23:43 --> 00:24:27
			If our neighbor had borrowed something, and we went and requested it back from them, do they have
any right to be upset? He said No, he's our property. What are they going to be upset from? She said
the inven Allah azza wa jal has taken what belongs to him. Your son is with Allah azza wa jal,
Mahatma blue cow, she broke the news. He was upset. He rushed in the visa Allahu alayhi wa sallam
and he said they are Sol Allah. This is what happened. My son had died. She didn't tell me and I
slept with her that night and I can't get over this. So in the VSAM Allahu alayhi wa sallam said to
open her bow like Allah hula coolmath Hee Haw, beauty Kuma Leila May Allah azza wa jal bestow
		
00:24:27 --> 00:24:30
			immense blessing upon you and what you did that night.
		
00:24:33 --> 00:24:47
			So, he got his child, a biller, and he had 10 children after that all of them had mastered the
Quran. And they were narratives of hadith is how can I help even Abdullah IGNOU
		
00:24:48 --> 00:24:59
			he was the teacher of Imam Malik Rahim Allah is married Abdullah Abdullah, Abdullah and 10 of these
these were his grandkids. I tell you something off
		
00:25:00 --> 00:25:02
			is because of a righteous woman
		
00:25:03 --> 00:25:16
			because of what she did, and how she broke the news of the death to her husband, and then in the
visa Allahu alayhi wa sallam makes do it for him and his family. And until this very day, when we
read these scholars names,
		
00:25:17 --> 00:26:00
			who's earning the reward or mousseline, or above Valhalla in their graves long gone and people
didn't even know about them, and the earning immense reward. Why, because of a righteous woman had a
correct attitude when it came to marry, I will only marry a righteous man. She did. So I look at the
blessing until this very day, every time we read the Hadith in the works of the scholars that were
their children, they're earning this immense reward Allahu Akbar, Allah subhanho wa taala. He said
the very same words in the Quran, while Abdullah Minam hieromonk machinic in algebra con Allah azza
wa jal, he says to the woman, that a male sleeve, meaning most likely doesn't look good, doesn't
		
00:26:00 --> 00:26:45
			have money, he'll be poor, he's owned by his master. But he has Dean he has email Allah says is much
better how your own then a disbeliever someone with no Dean, even if he impressed you in every
aspect of life. These are intense words for Allah that come from Allah subhanho wa taala. And so my
brothers and sisters in Islam compare this to the one who marries blindly. The brother who goes up
for looks, doesn't care about a demon, and about piety doesn't take into consideration. Then two
years later, he has problem now, two weeks later, he has issues and the sister who doesn't care
about a deal and piety and marries Allah just goes after the looks after off after cause after
		
00:26:45 --> 00:27:28
			whatever he has, and what happens as well. Two days later, there is a complaint there is an issue
there is divorcing. Gani. Why had they taken the advice of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wasallam.
They would have been goodness in that wouldn't be sallallahu alayhi wa sallam advise the woman
either as a convent or donor Dena Hula, hula kung fu if the man with Dean and Greek character comes
to then marry him off to your daughter. Because if you don't do so, the confit Neptune fell out of
the office head on, are you? There'll be a huge fitna on Earth, you'll be contributing to a Greek
fitting on Earth. And there'll be immense corruption on earth. And that's what we see. Danny
		
00:27:28 --> 00:27:29
			imagine.
		
00:27:30 --> 00:27:42
			As a father, today, if two men approached, one guy comes to the house, let's see he's a wealthy man,
CEO of some company that doesn't know his Deen, nothing from the Quran.
		
00:27:43 --> 00:27:45
			And another man comes to your door,
		
00:27:46 --> 00:28:10
			seeking your daughter in marriage. He has 10s the lectures he has a deem good character, but he's a
poor man. In today's standard, what the people do, so inshallah how they will take a healthy one.
We'll teach him his Deen later, we'll teach him how to pray later. No problems. I'm available,
doesn't have anything. Thank you very much. We're not interested.
		
00:28:11 --> 00:28:25
			Allah He with this kind of approach. You set yourself up for failure and loss. And don't forget this
world the life is not everything. The greatest thing in this whole life is a deem you preserve that
you protect that you're successful he in your grief and in the afterlife.
		
00:28:27 --> 00:29:11
			But hustle and bustle Alhamdulillah he gives advice to the men to the husband to the Father, so
we've never come into key marry your daughter through a righteous man. Find out how bad come on man
if you love zero you'll respect on her. Why not? Baba let me have limb here. And if he hates her or
dislikes her, because sometimes things would happen in a marriage. He will not oppress her shabby or
him online. He said Monza was your carry metal who mean fair sipping for cup Copa Rama, who, whoever
marries his daughter off to this abidi in person. Then he has severed the ties with his kingship and
whoever Tevez ties with kingship is caused by Allah. So this is of course, a huge responsibility.
		
00:29:12 --> 00:29:12
			Now,
		
00:29:14 --> 00:29:27
			okay. So that's the first point first fundamental, you have the intention, right? You act upon it,
and you find the righteous man, the righteous woman Bismillah you get married. Second Fundamental.
Now both of you have got married.
		
00:29:28 --> 00:29:30
			The second greatest fundamental
		
00:29:31 --> 00:29:37
			for a righteous family to remain righteous. Among the most intense of Phaeton and corruption
		
00:29:38 --> 00:29:59
			is to understand and must only responsibility. That's a fundamental, you have to understand what
Masoli is. Both the husband and the wife must know that they are responsible, and they will be
questioned by Allah adopt their responsibility on the Day of Judgment. You need to understand the
gravity of this unreasonable. Allahu alayhi wa sallam says
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:35
			Luca Marino could look on this old on Abra. Yeti, all of you are shepherds, and you will be all
questioned about your flock. Then he said, what Roger Luffy Lee era and we're homeschooling Abba
Yeti. The father is a shepherd in the house and he will be questioned about his flock, about his
children and his wife. Well, no atrophy Beatty. So here or here to here, Missoula to NARA Yeti, and
a woman is also a shepherd in her husband's house, and she will be questioned about this
responsibility and the children that are in the house.
		
00:30:36 --> 00:31:22
			Today, there is a topic among people. People are confused, who's supposed to look after the
children. The man says that's not my job. I get the money. I spend, and then I can live the single
life. I don't have to be at home. That's the mother's thing. She's the one that changes the nappies,
feeds the child and nurtures him and raises him and I got nothing to do with this. Wrong with the
lilies, this hadith. This my brothers and sisters, first and foremost, it's called parenting. It's
not called fathering. Nor is it called mothering is called parenting. Both share equal
responsibility when it comes to the children. With the lilies, this hadith, in the recent Allahu
		
00:31:22 --> 00:31:27
			alayhi wa sallam says the man will be questioned about his flock.
		
00:31:28 --> 00:31:59
			And the woman will be questioned about her flock. What does that mean? equal responsibility? Yes,
then there are roles that are divided between the husband and the wife. But who is to look after the
children who are the the responsibility of both the father and the mother, whether they are still
married with their children or whether they are divorced, that doesn't change you divorce your wife,
you divorce your husband, you Dad has nothing to do with the children. You don't divorce them,
right?
		
00:32:00 --> 00:32:47
			Must all see this word must own. You are responsible. Today. People are excited when this word is
given to them. Massoud Kenny and I became a manager must all right, became a manager at the school,
became a manager in the office. And people are generally excited without Massoud. But Wallahi. This
word my school implies burden and difficulty and a huge responsibility. When the visa Allahu alayhi
wa sallam he says let the Zulu koderma abnormal clematis Allahu Akbar, your feet will not move from
the police on the day of judgment until he asked about four things. And these four things are about
that concern you right there off where you got it from your knowledge, what you did with it, your
		
00:32:47 --> 00:33:16
			age and your youth. These are what concerns you immediately after these four questions that concern
you the very first set of questions that are coming about Who's Who are you responsible for your
husband, your wife, your children, that's coming straight after the questions that concern you must
all it comes from the word salah, Salah means to be questioned. And if you're going to be
questioned, that means the questions are going to come from somewhere they are coming from Allah.
		
00:33:17 --> 00:33:48
			Even the matter is huge. It serious. You need to prepare answers. So you need to fulfill your
responsibility to the best of your ability now, so that you stand on the Day of Judgment. Having
said that, Hamdulillah I gave it my best. But you stand on the Day of Judgment. Having neglected
your responsibility. One law it is going to be a serious stand on that the wouldn't have ESA law why
don't you send them at the end of that hadith he emphasized again, he said Allah if I could look
		
00:33:51 --> 00:34:15
			at can in the resource shall have already said we are responsible. But at the end of the Hadith, he
emphasized No, he said you better all knew. You are all responsible and you will be questioned about
those underneath you. That's the second fundamental. When you think of responsibility, the first
thing you are supposed to be thinking of the questioning. I'm going to be questioned.
		
00:34:17 --> 00:34:39
			Mark to live in yourself. Well the Allahu Anhu said that the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
said Mammon Abdeen yesterday la hora yet and he moved to Malibu to Hua Zhu lira Yeti Illa haram
Allahu alayhi Jannah Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says there is no slave who Allah azza wa
jal gives him a responsibility, a family, a wife and children or the woman who gives her husband and
children.
		
00:34:40 --> 00:34:56
			If he dies the day he dies, and he had neglected his children or should lira, yet he deceived them.
He did not look after them. He did not uphold the responsibility. Then Allah azza wa jal deprives
him from the paradise
		
00:34:58 --> 00:34:59
			the privacy he is a Muslim he
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:09
			As a believer, what it means he deprives him from the paradise as being from the first to enter, and
he's delayed Allahu Allah and how long he's delayed.
		
00:35:10 --> 00:35:12
			And that includes both the men and the woman.
		
00:35:14 --> 00:35:35
			When the V sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, as in the hadith of anisopliae, Allah Who in the man
who said, you know Aquila, and Mr. Allah, Allah who is going to ask and question every shepherd
about his flock, and that we use which he was responsible for. Have you ever umber yar? Did he
uphold and fulfill the responsibility? Or did he reject the neglect and ignore?
		
00:35:38 --> 00:35:51
			How to use a Rajguru an early beta he then in the bizarre Selim says even the men will be questioned
about the people he was responsible for within his family, his wife and kids. What are you going to
sell that they
		
00:35:52 --> 00:36:28
			are going to sue Allah Anna, my wife was a was a terrible woman. She didn't have Dean. Or what's the
woman going to see? My husband wasn't supportive enough. He was a terrible man. didn't interview
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam already warned and give advice marry the person have a deep it and you
need to play the game from the very beginning right? And you are not only responsible for your
family's food and drink and their clothing and housing and take him to doctor when they're sick. And
take him to weekend sport and some people think that's the responsibility in the greatest thing. Now
Allah it is not that you need to do well that's a separate thing. It's not the biggest thing. The
		
00:36:28 --> 00:36:38
			greatest responsibility when it comes to your family and your children. Is their religion. Their
Deen
		
00:36:39 --> 00:37:20
			Allah azza wa jal, he says what more Aleka solid, instruct your children to have solid to your
family to have solid. That's what you'll be questioned about on the Day of Judgment they pray. Is
Marian Allah you Salam, Allah azza wa jal was pleased with him because can a Moodle know who the
solid he was second, he consistently used to instruct and command his family upon a solid. He looked
after the dean, Yahoo Valley he said, when he was dying, Allah azza wa jal said I'm coming to
shahada if hamara Kuba looked were you there were you present when your coop was dying? We went
there. Listen to what Allah said because he captured the moment for us. If early but he met Abu do
		
00:37:20 --> 00:37:33
			not mean buddy, his children were around him, use of Alayhis Salam and others use of is a prophet.
This is a prophet dying, and his son, a righteous people from among his children is a prophet.
		
00:37:35 --> 00:37:39
			He says to his children, what are you going to worship after my death?
		
00:37:40 --> 00:37:47
			He did not say to them, what are you going to do with my wife after I die with my land after I die
with this and not that I own?
		
00:37:49 --> 00:37:57
			Who are you going to worship after my death? Because that's his greatest responsibility. And they
say now we'll do it.
		
00:37:59 --> 00:38:00
			He knows me though, is happy.
		
00:38:03 --> 00:38:07
			In affirmation, we're going to worship Allah and remain submitted to him, Allahu Akbar.
		
00:38:09 --> 00:38:10
			That's what you're responsible for.
		
00:38:12 --> 00:38:33
			Look, man, Allah you Salam. Allah azza wa jal mentions his advice to his son in the Quran. It was an
honor to shriek Belaire due to sucede POTUS with Allah implemented establish it or hate in your
life. Then he said to improve and then from the mini advice at the end he gives him advice about
manners, uphold good character and manners and ethics.
		
00:38:34 --> 00:39:05
			Even the greatest responsibility I have with your children and your family is the dean. When was the
last time you gathered your family and you spoke to them about Allah assertion and his greatness and
His loss? Allah azza wa jal in the Quran He says, Yeah, you are Latina, Amro, cool and Fusa como
Alikum. Now, Allah azza wa jal, he says, Oh, you who believe save yourself and your family from the
fire of *. He didn't say save them from hunger. Save them from the cold in these days.
		
00:39:07 --> 00:39:34
			Save them from the hellfire. How do you save them from the Hellfire *? By knowing and
understanding that your greatest responsibility towards them is the deen. So teach them Islam. Teach
them the commandments of Allah. Teach them what Allah has forbidden and prohibited. Teach them the
dangers of social media. control them on these matters. Teach them a certain time wake them up for
select and
		
00:39:35 --> 00:39:36
			take them to unless it
		
00:39:38 --> 00:39:59
			you need to be engaging in the discussion of a dean in the house more than you discuss anything
else. Today in the family among itself this weekend. Where are we gonna go on Sunday? Where are you
going to eat? What holiday we're gonna go at the end of the What school are we going to go to? How
was this? How was the day how's that day? How was this friend? How's that friend?
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:03
			I was how was your Surrett? During this day?
		
00:40:04 --> 00:40:23
			Where's Did you pay selected Fisher on time on out? Where is my son? My daughter? Did you read the
last girl today or not? Did you see the Earth girl after Salette or not? Did you make dua today at
least for a minute or two or not? Did you see the DA before you entered the bathroom or not? Why is
this matter?
		
00:40:24 --> 00:40:47
			This is what you're responsible for. This is what will strengthen the deen and fortify it. That's
why I'm telling you this is a fundamental if you understood as Miss Alia. Now we're working towards
raising a righteous family. But if you're thinking he almost Olia is just feed them and clothe him
and shelter him and take him to soccer and, and I'm done. Now Allah that's not going to benefit you
at all.
		
00:40:49 --> 00:41:10
			And so these are the matters that Allah azza wa jal is mentioning. And of course, when he said, save
yourself and your family from the fire, what do you learn from that? You learn that the greatest
means of the greatest method by far on earth, to raise righteous children is what here it's in this
as mentioned in this idea,
		
00:41:11 --> 00:41:27
			is to model parenting, for you to be a role model. Why? Because Allah azza wa jal said, save
yourself. If you're on a path of saving yourself from the fire, that means you've become a role
model for others, you now are in the position of saving others in your family,
		
00:41:29 --> 00:41:38
			saving yourself from the fire, meaning you are adhering to Allah's command. If you do that, that
means your righteous Muslim children are most likely to follow him they'll do exactly that.
		
00:41:39 --> 00:41:51
			But if you're not on a path of saving your own self from the fire, how are you going to save those
around you from a fire? How? How are you going to be a source of inspiration, inspiration for them,
that try to field cause.
		
00:41:52 --> 00:41:58
			So I'll use a real Masoli is big, you got to bring some grand changes into your life. Once you're
married.
		
00:42:00 --> 00:42:11
			You're married, you're now a husband, you live a husband life, not a single life. Then when you have
your first job, you live a father's life, what a single life.
		
00:42:12 --> 00:42:48
			People are excelling. And they moving forward in their titles. He was one single, then he becomes a
married man, then he becomes a father, then he becomes a grandfather. And he's still live on. Still
that single life doesn't work. That's not an musalia, you haven't understood Jonas earlier
correctly. Things have to dramatically change. You got to quickly adapt to a new title and move
along in that manner. Now there are responsibilities. There are things you have to leave out. Sorry,
I cannot attend. I need to go and attend with my children. I need to be with them. I need to look
after the dean, I need to teach them more.
		
00:42:50 --> 00:42:52
			This is something very important Nam
		
00:42:53 --> 00:42:55
			Allah Yanni, I tell you something.
		
00:42:57 --> 00:43:00
			Your greatest responsibility is the dean of your children, teach them
		
00:43:01 --> 00:43:06
			and woman, your daughters teach them a hijab. I tell you something, a story.
		
00:43:07 --> 00:43:08
			There was once a woman
		
00:43:10 --> 00:43:47
			and her husband, we went to the house and the husband, he said to me, then his daughter, I saw her
walking and she wasn't with hijab, I thought the attorney, let me just ask you maybe because we're
in his house, there is time we can give him advice. I said brother one law here and you don't take
offense to what I'm saying. I'll let you even if you don't want to engage in the matter, and I'm
happy to stay quiet. But I just wanted to ask you and your daughter is she the scarf or not the shoe
whether hijab or not. He said on the net. That's a great question. All I bet if you can no problems,
I get a What's the story? He said, Oh, look, we've come to the decision him and his wife. He said
		
00:43:48 --> 00:43:56
			that we're just going to leave it up to her until she's convinced. Okay, that's good. All right,
Mashallah. Leave it up to her until she's convinced I see. Can I ask you a question?
		
00:43:58 --> 00:44:07
			I said, if your daughter came to tomorrow morning, she said to my dad, my mom, I don't want to go to
school tomorrow until I'm convinced. What are you going to do?
		
00:44:09 --> 00:44:22
			What are you gonna do? Yeah, no worries. Stay in your room. Come back later with an answer. Let me
know how you think of a sand on top of her head. But if you don't want to go to school, right, and
he's forced to go to school.
		
00:44:23 --> 00:44:59
			He said, Yeah, but that's that's different. Two of them are different as they of course, they're
different. But you didn't know which of the two are more important. You see the ID, you see that
attitude that we have? That attitude is supposed to be a dean more than anything else? Why would you
want to force your daughter to go to school? Isn't that traumatizing? And whatever it is, they see
when we do the very same thing concerning a dean and the Islamic teachings. And why either shippon
has tricked us and fooled us and made us think that these are the important things and these are the
less important thing
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:13
			Hola, hola. Wala Quwata illa Allah, Allah, He my brothers and sisters in Islam, the only shoot if
your child got sick, you have a responsibility of course take him pick him up, take him to the
doctor getting the medicine or whatever it is no problems do that.
		
00:45:14 --> 00:45:34
			But what happens if the child got sick physically was the greatest thing that's going to happen?
He's gonna die. He's gonna die. It's gonna be a source of purification for you elevation for your
house and RPF Nila no problems and we're all dying anyway. But if the child's spiritual matters have
died, his heart has died.
		
00:45:37 --> 00:46:20
			Anyhow, this is the greatest calamity. And if you got sick, you rushed into hospital. And if the
hurt is sick and diseased and doesn't have Dean and he's turning away from the teachings of a dean
with that attitude of rushing to the spiritual hospital, even we haven't understood what an musalia
means. That's the idea of this fundamental and what I wanted to bring to your attention, animus LEA
is important now, and you know, subhanAllah today, when we send, I've seen this, some people they
send their children to school and Islamic school. So this son comes back. He's crying, who didn't
like the teacher and I don't know what happened in the class. So the mother is all angry. What alarm
		
00:46:20 --> 00:46:44
			was going to send my child back to the school, you're traumatized it. How pathetic are these
teachers that he came back crying? Alright, the very same child, the age of five. He begins school.
He goes to kindergarten. He's screaming. The mother is outside the fence crying Oh, yeah, I'll be
leaving schools Good for him. Why but the school is traumatizing. Pull him out of the school and
		
00:46:45 --> 00:46:52
			you see you see what the shutdown is done. He's the same thing. He's crying in school. He's
traumatized. He doesn't want to sit there.
		
00:46:53 --> 00:46:53
			But no,
		
00:46:55 --> 00:46:55
			no leave him.
		
00:46:57 --> 00:47:09
			He goes to the school. He came back crying. Not Lila Hollis, quick exit. Can't believe teachers made
him hate his Dean. I was too spiritual abuse and whatever it is.
		
00:47:11 --> 00:47:22
			It's natural for a child to be disconnected. Right? And the teacher sometimes Yeah. And he has to
press her up. You lay a child, you can't go anywhere. Memorize you're quiet.
		
00:47:23 --> 00:47:46
			And those teas that flow from a child when he memorizes the Quran. When Allah he will thank you for
them later on. He will thank you later on when he gets upright into his Deen. So you need to be
aware of this matter because this is the greatest responsibility saloon. Have you heard of this man
before? He was a student of Imam Malik Rahim Allah.
		
00:47:48 --> 00:47:59
			And there was a man who came to him and said to him I have seven children. And I didn't enroll them
in any Quran school. They don't know the Quran. Saloon said such a person should be imprisoned.
		
00:48:01 --> 00:48:34
			If Saddam was among us today, how many would be in prison? That's according to Imam sinoder him
Allah. Right. greatest responsibility. Teach him a deen teach him a deal now put them in schools and
let them if you can't teach your children al Islam, put them somewhere where they can teach them in
Islam. The third fundamental Terese a righteous family. And that is that the couple must encourage
one another upon the worship of Allah azza wa jal or listen to this because this is very important.
Some people they complain to the
		
00:48:35 --> 00:48:57
			head of the brother he comes in he says, hola Nisha. My wife doesn't wake up for selected fidget.
What do I do? Why did you ask her from the very beginning? If she prints a lot and fidget on it?
Yeah. Now what do I do? I come I wake up for your journey. What's the deal? Or she says My husband
doesn't wake up for selected Fisher. Why didn't they ask from the beginning if he prayed, selected
figured on it?
		
00:48:58 --> 00:49:12
			I tell you something, from the greatest fundamentals, to raising a righteous family. The husband and
the wife must encourage one another upon the worship of Allah throughout the day in the night.
		
00:49:14 --> 00:49:46
			must have heard about the Allahu Anhu he narrates and he says that Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
said, May Allah bestow his mercy upon a man who got up and preach at night. Then he went to wake his
wife up to pray. If she refused, he would sprinkle water in our face. And May Allah bestow his mercy
upon a woman who wakes up at night and she prays, then she wakes her husband up, if he doesn't get
up, she sprinkles water on his face. May Allah bestow his mercy upon this couple.
		
00:49:48 --> 00:49:59
			See this hadith? What is it teaching us husband and wife must encourage each other upon the worship
of Allah and this is a voluntary deed. Imagine how much more it should be with the obligatory deeds.
I will say the whole
		
00:50:00 --> 00:50:05
			rerolled Allahu Anhu generics and the visa Allahu alayhi wa sallam said, is that a cover Raju?
		
00:50:06 --> 00:50:21
			Mina Layli for Salah. Oh Salah look I think he Jimmy and cootie bath is that good enough there
cannot be some Allahu Allah you know Salam says if a man was too weak his wife up at night and they
prefer to work out together
		
00:50:22 --> 00:50:24
			five minutes
		
00:50:25 --> 00:51:06
			they will be recorded that night from those who remember Allah in abundance. Once again the hadith
is teaching us that husband and wife must encourage each other upon the worship of Allah. And these
are not just prophetic, a hadith. This is exactly what we saw Salam did come zooming to house zoom
into his house and see Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would pray the night for either Odom when he
is about to pray and with it you know what he would do? He would shake the fruit of his Wi Fi issue
and he would say who me for odd yeah Isha. Get up I'm Isha and pray and water. Once again husband
and wife encouraging one another upon the worship of Allah.
		
00:51:08 --> 00:51:38
			A little bit Allahu Allah We mentioned that it may be sallallahu alayhi wa sallam entered upon my
apartment. Ali is married to the daughter of a nice Arsalan Filipina once again, the father now is
going to be encouraging his daughter to worship. And he says in this honor Salam entered upon us
while me and Fatima was sleeping. So he said to us get up to solid. Then he went back to his house
in the visaro Salaam and he prayed the long prayer fella Miss Milena
		
00:51:40 --> 00:51:53
			and he didn't he any movement of ours, meaning what happened? They went back to sleep. So in the
visa Allahu alayhi wa sallam went back into the room and he said to them for So Leah. Get up and
pray.
		
00:51:54 --> 00:52:10
			So I think it'll be Allah who I know he got up he said I said what are the choir you know? He was
rubbing his eyes and he said in our Allah He man was only lemma Khattab hola hola Anna, why nama
here I'm Phil suna be a dilla fate in share any above
		
00:52:11 --> 00:52:28
			of the excusive he said Allah and the yellow suit Allah honey. We only pray what Allah has decreed
for us to pray and our souls are in the hands of Allah azza wa jal if Allah will do we'll get up and
we'll pray. Maybe some Allahu alayhi wa sallam began to slap his thigh and seeing
		
00:52:30 --> 00:53:12
			Khattab Allahu lenah Since you excuse only what Allah has written for us, what can insert an act for
Rashi in Jeddah, the human being argues too much, and he left sallallahu alayhi wa sallam once again
and then we saw Selim recommending and encouraging his family to the worship. And the reason Allahu
alayhi wa sallam comes to his daughter Aisha. He says to her May a monkey and this Marymount will
CTV what prevents you my daughter from listening and implementing the advice I want to give you so
he says to her see every morning and every evening? Yeah how you have to use medical histories are
slightly shaped Nicola who Aleta kidney in NFC port for time, and he told her a vicar at work to
		
00:53:12 --> 00:53:20
			make every morning and every evening who the greatest of man giving advice to the greatest of woman
felt the middle the hola Juana.
		
00:53:22 --> 00:54:05
			Once again, father and daughter, encouraging one another upon the worship of Allah Nabi sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam teachers of Huson his grandson, Dwyane pollute, you know, don't pollute in your
water when you're praying. Allah had been a female or female female athlete with a female toilet. He
narrated that and her son and he was 18 years old at the time. He says my grandfather and the reason
Mamajuana usnm taught me to pollute and this is it. Once again and we saw Allahu alayhi wa sallam
encouraging his family upon the worship of Allah, Allah be ye with. He says, What does he say? He
says that in the visa Allahu Allah, you are setting them on the day of Ashura, hills and not to the
		
00:54:05 --> 00:54:38
			people, today's Ashuelot fast. So the people of the town, they will go to their children, and
they'll ensure they are fasting don't encourage them. If the children if the children begin to
experience hunger and start crying, the round up the children and they'll take him to unmask it.
They will make for them toys from wall and they'll distract them with that until a mockery then they
will break their fast encouraging their children upon the worship. Some might say that's torture.
How can you let a child first
		
00:54:40 --> 00:54:45
			that spiritual abuse you shouldn't do that? Okay, I'll give you something.
		
00:54:46 --> 00:54:59
			If you went to the doctor, and a doctor said Allah He into your seven or eight year old son needs to
do a blood test. So he has to fast the entire night and not eat or drink anything and no problems.
Now it's not traumatizing this one. Don't eat
		
00:55:00 --> 00:55:05
			Don't drink, close the fridge, make sure it doesn't have anything because there's a blood test
coming tomorrow.
		
00:55:06 --> 00:55:39
			So the idea is of course the children can fast. But if you had the same approach towards fasting,
you would have understood you would have understood what's more important now, we're not seeing any
young child six, seven years old can't fast long hours. Of course you don't enforce this matter upon
them but if a child is eight 910 years old, this is a good day and an age in which the child can
fast this it will feel hungry so what even adults who are hungry is only when they first train says
he sees his his system upon the worship of Allah azza wa jal and so on now.
		
00:55:40 --> 00:55:42
			Okay, so that's the ID.
		
00:55:44 --> 00:56:22
			The fourth fundamental that I want to bring to your attention very important. Well, we've got three
more we'll finish them quickly shall but this one, I'll take some time on it. Very important one
Allah here, I would have put this fourth one as number one, but I'm moving in order. That's why it
comes where it comes. Now. The fourth, listen to it very carefully. In order to raise the righteous
family. Ally more I am honored to be hosting them. Oh, look, there has to be great character from
the husband and from the wife. Good manners, outstanding manners. If manners don't exist in a
marriage, we're setting ourselves up for corruption and failure. Avoid all of the Allahu Anhu said
		
00:56:22 --> 00:56:24
			hi Eurocom Hello Come Lately one of
		
00:56:25 --> 00:56:40
			the best of you are the best to their family and I am the best to my family. Or model the Allahu
Anhu. He said the foundation of a man is his intellect and the honor of a man in his deen and
manhood is in character.
		
00:56:41 --> 00:57:19
			manhood is in character according to Omar, Allahu Anhu. All take the definition of manhood from Omar
as opposed to what the West has brought it out to the man who this character. That's what it is
like. Look at the impeccable character in the house of individual Allahu alayhi wa sallam had the
job of the Allahu Allah she says, When the NABI sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was given why and this
is the very first time o'clock smell of bacon let the color cause review. The visa Allahu alayhi wa
sallam was terrified. And he said to her, Khadija I feel for myself she didn't say to him Allah
sorry, it's not my problem, we deal with your own issue.
		
00:57:20 --> 00:58:03
			Emotionally he was disturbed and so on. She was there. She said to him, no, no, no, Allahu livre,
humiliate you. Because you look after the poor after the needy, you entertain your guests. You look
after the destitute and so on. She mentioned his good qualities in good character. Why? Because
that's a reflection of her good character as well. So the idea is when the husband is down, over
wife is down in an emotional episode, or whatever it is, from good character and manners, that you
approach the spouse, and you reassure them and you speak to them about goodness that exists within
them, so that they can be proud of who they are, and the goodness they have accomplished in their
		
00:58:03 --> 00:58:28
			life. And that would help them get over whatever they are experiencing at that moment. That's good
character. That's not weakness. That's good character. And that will take the marriage a long way
for it to be righteous and firm. I give you the story of Abu Zahra and Amira and perhaps this is the
first time you've heard it. Listen to this. And this is in Sahih al Bukhari Shabbat, the Allahu Anhu
she says,
		
00:58:29 --> 00:58:32
			she says 11 women gathered around the Kaaba.
		
00:58:33 --> 00:58:51
			And they had made a commitment that they're going to sit together and discuss about their husbands.
So 11 woman are sitting in a circle, law hiker walk and they're going to talk about their husband's
tie Isha Good, good, bad that they're not holding back anything.
		
00:58:52 --> 00:59:12
			Admiration is in for hand Buhari. So one, one, first one goes, second one goes. Third one goes. I
think it's the fourth one, the fourth one, she didn't leave anything except you wipe the floor with
him. Read the narration. We get to the last one, the 11th one. The 11th one begins to speak I want
you to listen carefully and I'll make my point at the end of it.
		
00:59:14 --> 00:59:40
			She said Zoji above the line warmer observer. She said Anna my husband is above Zara and what a man
above Zara is let me tell you about him. And as I mean Read Only He filled up my ease with gold here
don't my II he spent on her gold and jewelry as much as you wanted and more. That's what she's
saying. And so I mean, holy, you know
		
00:59:41 --> 00:59:43
			what I mean shocked me now.
		
00:59:44 --> 00:59:59
			And he filled. He filled my loose with meat. Meaning he fed her and he kept feeding her. Not
McDonald's and so on. He fed her food in when she became Danny filled up
		
01:00:01 --> 01:00:16
			What was your honey? fabae Bucha Illa UNFCC third thing she says about him. He honored me so much
that I was so pleased and proud of myself but your heart in the UFC What about and what what did
observer do?
		
01:00:18 --> 01:00:43
			She says Washington if he knew who you met him we should clean for ya learning if he only saw
healing or ugly up more than any where there isn't one Mona Kim. He said he found me among a poor
family that was raising sheep. He took me for me and took me to his family that were raising camels
and horses meaning out expensive life, a wealthy family took me from poverty, to richness.
		
01:00:44 --> 01:00:46
			She says, and devil of
		
01:00:48 --> 01:00:57
			the day I lived with him, I can see whatever I like and he would never mock me. He would never say
just shut your mouth. I've gotten over it. For now.
		
01:00:58 --> 01:01:02
			He will never insult me and McMurray speak whatever I like.
		
01:01:03 --> 01:01:15
			What I'm putting for atossa and with you might sleep and wake up whenever I want. eight in the
morning nine in the morning, of course after Fisher but he wouldn't come and disturb me.
		
01:01:16 --> 01:01:33
			Take the kids to school. Do this. Do that none of this. Leave her until she woke up whenever she
would want to wake up. What a showman for Atacama? And I would I would drink until my full Yeah,
honey, she was satisfied. Listen, this is madness. Watch this.
		
01:01:35 --> 01:02:04
			Then she started seeing almost ever. And let me tell you about his mother. And what a beautiful
woman she was. Let me tell you about his father and how awesome of a man he was. Let me tell you
about his sleeve and how awesome he was. Everything about this person's life was just outstanding
character. Now, she says to Isha and those woman she says one day. My husband Abu Zahra walked out
of the house and it was milking season. People were milking their livestock. She took a bucket
		
01:02:06 --> 01:02:16
			and his eyes fell on a woman that was milking her cow. And she had two beautiful children like
lipids.
		
01:02:17 --> 01:02:18
			She says
		
01:02:19 --> 01:02:28
			so he's I fell on her. He loved her. He went to Missouri and he divorced her. And he married this
one that he loved a lot. But
		
01:02:29 --> 01:02:31
			imagine this happened today.
		
01:02:32 --> 01:02:51
			You see, and I want to tell you something. She says I married this second husband he spent on me and
so on exactly what she says. Yet all the things that my second husband did could not feel a small
utensil of what Abu Zahra did for me.
		
01:02:54 --> 01:03:02
			The visa Allahu alayhi wa sallam when he heard this because I shall Norwich this whole story then
the besides Salah he's sitting listening, he said to her Yeah, I Isha.
		
01:03:03 --> 01:03:15
			I was to you. And from all these 11 Husbands, I am to you like a Bozena to own Zara except that he
divorced her and I did not divorce you.
		
01:03:16 --> 01:03:17
			But I'm gonna tell you something.
		
01:03:19 --> 01:03:29
			He had outstanding character with him with what did he do at the end? Do you see that move? He did.
He saw someone he divorced her and he married a woman he looked at.
		
01:03:30 --> 01:03:38
			And she did not dare to see a single word that is bad about him. Even though he had done what he
did.
		
01:03:40 --> 01:03:57
			And I ask what kind of character did he have? That even though this might have hurt her. Yet, she
did not find a single word in her dictionary to say something bad about him. Allahu Akbar. When the
peace of Allah wa alayhi wa salam would see I'm like him.
		
01:03:59 --> 01:04:27
			And then he saw someone compared himself to him. That's the character that is required from a man
with his wife that will contribute towards a righteous family be if the lead Allahu Akbar Allah here
today. If this similar incident happened, and a woman came and said what Mahan I was with my husband
and he saw someone or you got communication with somebody divorce many married or less, you will
find even more things you never did. And she'll say
		
01:04:28 --> 01:04:30
			he's this is nice. This is
		
01:04:31 --> 01:04:59
			and if she spoke with Allah, sorry, I wouldn't believe you. This is only for Zara to do but the ID
is the ID is what kind of character did they have? For her to not say a single word about him?
Allahu Akbar. That's the kind of character we're speaking about. And like the story of Musa Lama,
who Salama when her husband Abu Salama died, and she was upset through this calamity. Or Sahaba they
came to her giving her news
		
01:05:00 --> 01:05:22
			They said to her say, Allah homogeny, female Subasio fluffly, Hydra minha Satan Allah, Allah your
own, oh Allah grant me, goodness, for this calamity, I'm going through and replace it with me.
Replace it for me with something better. So when she made the DUA, he said, Oh Allah, grant me
goodness in my calamity that her husband had died.
		
01:05:23 --> 01:05:46
			Then she said, she didn't see an O Allah, replace this calamity with something better. She stopped.
And she said to herself, who's better than Abu Salam? Imagine that her husband has died. And she's
thinking, who's going to be better than this man, I was with it there. Do you think your wife can
see something like this about you?
		
01:05:47 --> 01:06:32
			To see who is better than such and such a name her husband? The ID the question here is what did Abu
selama do? That he is dead and she holds back from thinking who is better than him? Then she was
inspired to say it and she said it and Allah azza wa jal gave her Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
as a husband and no doubt in the midst of Allahu alayhi wa Salam is better Subhanallah well, how can
that be? sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is men as well with his wife and his family. If she ate from a
meat he'll eat from the exact same place she ate from if she drank from a couple drinks the exact
same place where she drank from all this is a HELOC. All this is Manny's, you know, a massive
		
01:06:32 --> 01:06:51
			massive topic and an issues restudy and that is, does the wife have to be the husband or not? Now,
how big is this? Does the wife after a beat the chef to cook for him? The chef to clean the chef to
do all this and that. And you find the man is standing and online. She's not being me.
		
01:06:52 --> 01:07:37
			Of course the wife has to obey her husband. There is no doubt that in the Quran, Connie tat Allah
says, But I tell you something, you see this entire discussion around the globe. Wallah, he would
have been cut and it would have never been brought to light. If a man was upon outstanding
character. I don't have doubt that if a man had impeccable character, similar to Abu Zahra, a wife
would happily serve him, he wouldn't have an issue, she would not have an ounce of issue. But we've
made the situation more complicated. So as a result, a woman would come to the defense and say I
didn't have to be in this and in that and in that, and the situation intensifies from there. And the
		
01:07:37 --> 01:07:58
			result Allahu Allahu wa sallam would be coming back from a travel, he will say to the Companions go
ahead of me go all of you. And then he would release his with his wife. I shall I shall be Allah
Juana, good character, right, which we learned from this narration that it's allowed for woman to
play public sport, but she needs to make sure that it's not in the eyes of men or in the presence of
men.
		
01:08:00 --> 01:08:44
			Because today, it's different. A woman would go out and play public sport, but it's in the presence
of non Mahara men and the cameras are out and so on. That is Hello, there is not allowed. It is not
allowed ruin our especially when she's playing sport, there is intense order in this. Imagine Jonnie
aside when going between a software model and there's the green line in where you have to run.
That's a warship people are in Iberia. In the house of Allah in Mecca, there is no fitna no
designer, it's killed even then the woman is not allowed to joke among them in headache, you should
teach us that a woman events public sporting, when there is men around, but if there's no men
		
01:08:44 --> 01:09:11
			around, go and play whatever you like in public. Well, that's what SLM did with Aisha, he's racing
after he has made sure all the men had gone good character wouldn't be so ourselves a busy man, but
he would find time for for his family and he was like this with all his with all his children and
all his wives, and I share with you an Orisha. In the visa, Allahu alayhi wa sallam. He says that in
the paradise there is a marketplace.
		
01:09:12 --> 01:09:57
			The people that believers will come to it every Friday. And there is a wind and a breeze that comes
from the north. And the wind that blows on the face of the believers in the Paradise will illuminate
and brighten their faces and like make them look much more beautiful. And this happens every Friday.
So when these men go back to their wives in their homes, the woman would say to them, look at this
person and vermelha the woman would greet her husband by saying you have become a lot more prettier.
You look beautiful. And then the men would say to their wives Wallah. He went on to look at this
little ninja Mala Mala. You also have increased in prettiness and beauty. You see this thing of
		
01:09:57 --> 01:09:59
			husband and wife saying to each other, you look beautiful.
		
01:10:00 --> 01:10:11
			You look pretty. That's how the people of the Paradise will be talking to each other husband and
wife. These are words of the people of the paradise. So if you want to
		
01:10:12 --> 01:10:39
			adopt a quality of the people of the paradise, that's one of them, to look at your wife and to see
her to her, You are beautiful. And for the wife to look at the husband and to say to him, you look
beautiful today. These little words will go a long way enhancing our relationship and raising it
upon righteous foundations, Walla Walla, he, there's nothing rude, and there's nothing embarrassing,
and there's nothing shy in these matters.
		
01:10:40 --> 01:11:09
			Right? And I tell you emotional stinginess is far worse than financial stinginess, when you don't
have a good word to say in the house towards each other. That's emotional stinginess. And that is
way worse than financial stinginess. be emotionally generous, just like you are financially
generous, or cook, a meal is cooked, say a good word. That's good manners, and you are rewarded for
it.
		
01:11:10 --> 01:11:41
			You finish from eating, it takes five to 10 seconds to take the plate and put it in the sink. That's
good manners. And that will go a long way in enhancing the relationship and establishing
righteousness among the family, the children Siva, they learn manners, they learn etiquette, they
learn character they use speak to your wife like that they hear the wife speaking to the husband,
what do you think these children are going to develop into, as opposed to a husband and wife that
can't stand each other in the house,
		
01:11:42 --> 01:11:46
			you will reap that which you that which you saw now.
		
01:11:48 --> 01:12:24
			Finally, Hellas there's only five and six, but I'll mention them just a word. Number five. And you
have to know what the husband rights are. And not the wife and her for her to know what her
husband's rights are. And I direct your attention to a book. It's called the rights of the spouses,
for Chef Sulayman Riley. It's an excellent book about 72 pages. And it has within me in detail what
are the rights of the husband, what are the rights of the wife, as Muslims, we should know what our
rights are. And if you know your rights, and you implement them, and the wife knows your rights, and
implements them towards the husband,
		
01:12:25 --> 01:12:46
			then we are contributing towards righteousness within the family. And finally, and the sixth one is
to stay close to the masjid and to Islamic center, to have a strong relationship with a masjid and
to be a part of the Muslim community. Then in the recent Allahu alayhi wa sallam he says in the
shape on a boon.
		
01:12:47 --> 01:13:31
			He said the devil is like a woof to men will insert his like a woof to that, in order to when it
sees the lonely sheep, it will go to * it. And that's exactly what the show upon does for a
person who has isolated himself from the community and from the Masjid. He will go and he'll grab
him and attack him more than anyone else. So it is very incumbent upon each and every single family
to stay close to Allah masjid, to Islamic lectures to Islamic centers and to learn their deen and to
show their faces among the Muslims in the Brotherhood more often and that will contribute towards
raising a righteous family now, and in the end, a person should know.
		
01:13:32 --> 01:13:44
			You do your best. These are fundamentals. You do that to the best of your ability. If children come
up not righteous, then adopt Allahu Allah Shavon there is no need to blame yourself.
		
01:13:45 --> 01:14:05
			There are prophets like no Halley's Salam, a child of his died the disbeliever we can't say that
North was a bad father. In fact, Noah is a role model when it comes to parenting. But Allah Masha,
if there are situations that things that are not in your hand, that's a test from Allah azza wa jal
testing you about some matter. We don't know There's wisdom in that.
		
01:14:07 --> 01:14:43
			So not to lose hope, right? Because another discipline when children are discipline that comes from
Allah. Don't ever think that you're the one that made them who they are, if they are righteous, and
Addabbo Adebola will hold Allah as Imam Malik Rahim Allah says, all goodness belongs to Allah azza
wa jal and make dua for your children especially ask Allah azza wa jal to protect them and to
preserve them and to save them. At the end, my brothers and sisters in Islam we ask Allah azza wa
jal to preserve us all. Ask Allah azza wa jal to preserve our marriages and our families. We ask
Allah azza wa jal to grant us goodness in our marriages and in our families. Ask Allah azza wa jal
		
01:14:43 --> 01:14:59
			to admit us into the highest levels of the paradise mana been also the Pinochet or Salvino Hassan
Ali I got a few call. We ask Allah azza wa jal to spirits, his punishment and his curse and the
hellfire and we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant a steadfastness upon Islam upon law
		
01:15:00 --> 01:15:29
			Ilaha illa Allah until the day we meet him on a banana Tina for dunya Hasina will fill out the
Hassan Joaquina are there but now, Robin I have learned I mean as well as you know with with Leah
Tina Kurata Iam which Karina MMR, Giselle Kamala Hi Ron for your attentive listening and I am sorry
for any taking longer than usual. Perhaps you can forgive me when I ask Allah azza wa jal to accept
from us all Allahu allah sallallahu wasallam of Africa I don't know if you know Muhammad wa ala
alihi wa sahbihi marine