Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Want to Cure Your Anger Problem

Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the importance of good social and character, including anger management and avoiding regretting mistakes. They stress the need to be aware of one's emotions and avoid negative behavior. The speakers also advise on ways to manage anger, including walking out of environments, doing physical activities, and using water. The importance of conflict resolution and therapy for addressing anger is emphasized.
AI: Transcript ©
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Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa

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Salatu was Salam ala so you didn't know sit in while he asked me

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about Rocco a sell limit esteem and Kathy Ron Ely AMI Dean and my

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bad. Firstly Alhamdulillah Allah subhana wa Tada

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reward all those who have organized this program to help all

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of the help us through this pandemic. And there's a lot of

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people with having quite a few problems when it comes to the

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pandemic, family issues, health issues of course, and interaction

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issues. So Asha Allah, this opportunity, monitor himself and

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that Allah bless him. And the team from Medina Masjid has organized

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this program for Canada. It's been several years that I haven't been

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to Canada but Allah subhanaw taala has created this occasion, this

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opportunity to speak to you all. So may Allah subhanho wa Taala

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make this a beneficial opportunity.

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The ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada speaks about anger several times in the

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Quran. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam speaks about it

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in a number of Hadith. It's something that is so part of the

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essential makeup of the human being

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and interaction with one another, that it has to have been

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mentioned. There's a lot of guidance about it. There's a lot

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of guidance about it mentioned in the Quran, Allah subhanaw taala

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speaks about people controlling the anger

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Galbally Mina lave Allah subhanaw taala speaker speaks about not

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those people who don't have any anger, but rather those people who

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have who have control over their anger, who are able to suppress

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it, use it in the right way. You see, if we're to look at anger

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itself, there's a few different ways that Allah ma have described

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anger and how experts have described anger, it's a feeling

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inside when you get upset or when you fear something. And it's a

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kind of a defense mechanism, almost, it's a defense mechanism.

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So you get angry when you want something to be a certain way. Or

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when you see that something is not in a particular way how you would

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like it. Or you feel a fear, a sense of fear. Now, a lot of

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arrogant people have anger. Right? In fact, anger and arrogance goes

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quite hand in hand. In many cases, what do they fear? Because the

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anger the, you know, the arrogant, the powerful, maybe as well. So

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what is it that causes them to fear? Well, they're fearing their

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position that somebody has, somebody has mustered up enough

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strength to say something against them or is threatening their

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position is threatening their state or their status, their

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authority or whatever, so then you get angry. So there's numerous

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causes for anger in Islam, after people fulfill the FARA, even the

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obligations, once a person is doing all of the obligations and

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the follow up, then after that you can do optional worships you can

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do optional fast, you can do optional prayers, sadaqa, etc. And

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there's a lot of other optional things as well like welfare work

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like assisting other people. And there's of course, the development

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of good character. So out of those, all of those optional acts,

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once you complete once a person is completing the obligation x, then

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out of all the option next they say that hustle hook and good

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character is one of the most important aspects because if

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you're doing optional Knuffle prayer, that's something that's

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going to benefit me if I'm if I'm doing optional prayers, optional

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fasting, that's something that's going to benefit me it's not

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necessarily going to benefit you directly, at least right. However,

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if I develop good character, and I work on regulating my character,

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getting into a level of moderation, where it's fine tuned,

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that's going to have a huge repercussions huge benefits,

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because humanity, humanity stands by a sense of community and

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brotherhood, and this community awareness, love, affection,

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compromise, mutual assistance, all of that is what makes a community

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and which makes humanity come together. And at the core of all

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of this is character because if somebody has good character you

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you know we appreciate them we want to work with them. We there's

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a love in the heart for these builders affection in the hardest

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inclination towards these people. So good character is the

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ingredient of social good social, social cohesion, you know, for the

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communities to come together. That's all based on good character

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even we as Muslims, you know, when we when we interact with non

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Muslims, some a non Muslim with good character stands out from the

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rest, you know, good character, shy ish is a light it shines

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wherever you go, when you see good character it shines. So

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the reason I'm talking about good character when our topic is

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actually Aang

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Good is because good character is based on several different things

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within the human being. And if you look at all of these things,

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there's three things that are the three major things, three major

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faculties, three major aspects within the human being, that

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actually make somebody's character the way it is. And

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one of them is anger. So you've got anger, you've got desire, and

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you've got knowledge. These are three of the fundamental aspects

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of what

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contributes to a person's character. If a person's anger

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level, you see you can't eradicate anger completely, because having

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two less anger is going to negatively affect you. cowardice,

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people who don't have any unfinished life, who are willing

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to get abused, who are willing to allow their religion to be abused

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their family to be abused, were not willing to go and stand up for

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the rights of even themselves who are not able to go and maybe work

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for themselves to have a halal earning all of this comes from a

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sense of

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cowardice, a sense of No, no desire, no no fire in the heart to

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do that, which is right. So anger relates to

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the ability to do the right thing. At the right time. Anger is the

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faculty that relates to that, we generally talk about anger in when

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it gets too much when it is goes beyond the limit and gets into

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where people are hurting one another where people are harming

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one another way, which leads to arrogance where it leads to

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taking somebody else's right subduing somebody else's right not

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listening to another person. That is an excessive state of anger. So

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anger, there's a moderate anger which the province of loathsome

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had, so he never used anger for himself. He never used anger, if

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somebody attacked him himself, said something to him, he was

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calm. In fact, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is has

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to be admired. I mean, you just can't help but admire him. Because

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when he was personally abused, it just made him even more

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forbearing. It made him so much more patient, and he would almost

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smile in the face of some of these things. But when it came to the

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religion, when it came to aspects related to our deen, where

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somebody did something against it, then Subhanallah then he would

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even grow red in the face, as we've mentioned, you know, in the

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Shamal. So, that is the ability to deal with different emotions,

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imagine it, you know, things are thrown at you. You know, I don't

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mean physically thrown at you, but things are thrown at you in terms

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of abuse or criticism. And you can sift it out, okay, this is

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criticism of me, right?

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I can take that that's not a problem. But if it's against

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Allah, if it's against the dean, then I want to stand up for it.

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Now this isn't to say that you can never get angry for yourself, of

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course you can I mean, the, the it's just how can we? How can we

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express that anger? And how can we articulate and do something with

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it, that's what's important. But the prophets Allah was had that

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equilibrium, his desire was perfect. His anger was perfectly

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moderated equilibrium, and his knowledge was obviously perfect as

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well. Now, if somebody has too much desire, just to it now, since

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we're describing this issue, if we have if we're talking about this,

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or if you have too much desire, it's going to lead to sexual

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vices, it's going to lead to haram fornication, adultery, premarital

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sexual *, and other forms of, you know, sexual

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deviances that are out there, because it just got too much. It's

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just exploding inside and person is trying to express it in the

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wrong way. And likewise, if you don't have if you don't allow the,

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you know, fulfill the rights of the desire, then a person is not

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going to be fulfilling the rights of their wife or wife is not going

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to fulfill the rights of the husband. Right? There are desires

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that is there's a right of the stomach to eat at least something

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right to eat something to stay, to stay right. You know, there are

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people who go into these excessive fasts, continuous fast for no

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reason. But if you have too much of that desire for food, for

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example, is going to lead to Gluttony is going to lead to

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obesity, it's going to lead to a lot of other problems, you know,

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both physical problems, psychological problems and

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spiritual problems. So these things are there, Allah subhanaw

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taala has given us these things, even forgetfulness, you know,

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there's an aspect of it, which is beneficial forgetfulness of the

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losses we have incurred, somebody passed away, we feel really that

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pain is very raw, we feel really sad. We have a lot of anxiety,

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give it a few days, give it a few months, and that pain becomes less

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because we don't remember it in the same way, as it happened

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yesterday, that there's the benefit in forgetfulness. But if

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somebody has too much forgetfulness, they're forgetting

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their obligations. They're forgetting things

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things that they need to do. And they constantly letting people

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down. That's a problem. This is the way Allah subhanaw taala is

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greater. So now when it comes to anger now

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it builds our character, and a person's character is going to be

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flawed when they have too much anger. And we know this. I mean,

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you know, if we don't if we can't see this in ourselves, because

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it's this is one of the most difficult things to judge along

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with pride. Because pride also comes with anger, right? It's very

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difficult to judge within ourselves. And I think most of us

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if we who do get angry a lot, and I think I'm one of those who have,

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you know, who can get angry, right, I need to recognize that

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I've got that as a problem to help myself, if I don't recognize it,

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I'm never gonna be able to help myself. And personally, I think

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marriage has helped me, right. You know, you get angry a lot. But

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then you find out that you know, it marriages humped. If the, if

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that's the case, dealing with other people, when you're managing

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the situation, when you're teaching, if you want to be an

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effective teacher, you can't keep getting angry, especially if you

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want, you know, good grades for your students. If you want success

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for your students, you are you can get angry, but then you have to

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curb that as well. Everything in life teaches us this thing. That's

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why it's very important

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to understand that anger is gonna have to be suppressed, but we have

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to recognize it first. Now, if we see anger, you know, if we think

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of another person who gets angry, you know, we're upset by that.

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That's not something that is praiseworthy, we actually look

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down upon that person, you know, we actually

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don't prefer that person for the anger aspect, oh, he's a really

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good person, but it just gets stronger when he gets angry, you

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know, we say these kinds of things. So if we don't like in

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another person, how do you think people are gonna like it. And so

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that's one way to understand that. But the first thing in all of this

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is that we have to recognize this, we have to recognize this, then

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once we've recognized it, then we will be able to figure some of its

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therapies, some ways to correct it some ways to sort it out. And that

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is where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has mentioned

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several different things. And of course, there's lots of other

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things. I mean, I mean, a simple check online, if you've got an

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anger problem, and you're not married yet, make sure you get

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that sorted, you know, you have to be because otherwise your marriage

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is going to be, it's going to affect your marriage. In terms of

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pre marriage preparation, don't just focus on the day of your

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marriage, for example, don't focus on what you're going to win who

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you're going to call and all the rest of it, focus on how I'm going

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to be with my spouse with my new family. Right? So if you've got an

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anger problem, and the way we tell if we've got an anger problem, is

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just compare ourselves to our other brothers and sisters, or my

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group of friends. Who is that that gets angry more in that? Who is it

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that generally gets more angry than other people for the wrong

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reason? Right. So that's one way to figure this out. Just be honest

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with oneself, you don't have to declare to the whole world that

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you have an anger problem, just get help. And there's ways to get

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help, which is, we're going to discuss some of those ways that we

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get help. But the first part is to recognize that we have, we have

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this issue, especially during this pandemic, it's brought people

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closer together, right. And before we could have comfortable, you

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know, distances from people, but now, I guess with our own family,

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it becomes more difficult. And what we've noticed is that the

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there's people who won't get angry with other people, because he's

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meeting them infrequently. He or she is dealing with them

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infrequently. You're perfect at your job when you go to your work.

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And you're there you know, in the office, or whatever it is, you

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know, you're very professional, you're very managed, you're very

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organized because you've been through some training. You come

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home and it's a different story. You think it's okay to lash out at

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your close ones. Right? I don't know what this I've not been able

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to figure out exactly what the psychological term for this is or

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what the you know what exactly this issue is that but where you

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have your own people you feel you can lash out against them much

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more and you don't realize the harm you're, you're you're

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causing, and

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you you feel like it's justified. And this is what has been just

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magnified during this lockdown when people have had to stay more

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at home, in confined spaces sometimes, you know, in confined

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spaces. Now you can't blame anything else, we have to be able

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to learn to control it. Right we have to learn to control it. So

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now, for example, let's just mention one Hadith, right? The

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Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, it's a hadith of Bokhari.

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Abu Huraira the Allahu Anhu reports that the Prophet

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sallallahu alayhi wa sallam actually somebody asked the

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Prophet sallallahu Sallam can you advise me? Can you give me some

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council? Can you give me some advice and the Prophet sallallahu

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sallam said Allah Tada. So he said, give me some advice. Now,

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I'm not sure if he thought that don't get angry was not

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significant enough. And he was looking for some kind of big

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advice or, you know, he was looking for something else and the

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prophets, Allah Salam, every time he repeated his request, he said,

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Don't get angry, don't get angry, don't get angry. Now. That's not

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the only advice of course that a professor Lawson has given to

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others but for this person, he's kept saying Don't get angry. And

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maybe one of

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The reasons for that is that he may have noticed that this person

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has an anger issue. So he kept saying, Don't get angry, don't get

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angry. Don't get angry like Dadaab, right, because he knew

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that anger is what's causing all the other issues. You know, anger

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is what's causing all of the other issues. So that's why he said

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that, the in fact, there's another, there's another Hadith,

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it's in measurement with the prophet. A person came and said to

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the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam ya rasool Allah Dulany.

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Allah, I'm willing utillian Jana.

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Well, I took fear Allah Yeah, just indicate, you know, indicate me to

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an action or indicates an action to me, right, which will enter me

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into paradise. Right?

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Give me an action that will get me into paradise. We all want that,

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right. But don't give me you know, don't give me too many things.

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Just give me like a simple point that will enter me into paradise

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that I do that when I took the rally. You don't give me a long

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discussion. Don't give me too many advices. And the professor Lawson

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said love them. He said Don't get angry. Right. SubhanAllah. You

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know, he's asking for something very concise. very short, very to

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the point, maybe just one point, not too many points. And the

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Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam is saying let them right.

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That just shows the importance of this. There's a huge important

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Allah mentions it quite a few times in the Quran. And there's a

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there's another.

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There's, there's numerous stories about this related to the same

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thing. In fact,

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on one occasion, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is

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sitting there. And there were two men that were abusing one another,

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they were having an argument, they were at dispute, and the face of

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one of them had become very red. And, you know, it says that his

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veins, you know, jugular vein, it's swelled and everything is

00:16:52 --> 00:16:55

very, very angry. Sometimes you see somebody like that. So the

00:16:55 --> 00:16:59

Prophet sallallahu sallam said, you know, it's so beautiful that I

00:16:59 --> 00:17:01

would progress along the way. He said, he kind of said it, not

00:17:01 --> 00:17:05

necessarily to them directly, but he wanted them to hear. So they

00:17:05 --> 00:17:09

probably saw some said, I know of a statement, which if he says it,

00:17:10 --> 00:17:14

then that rage that he is experiencing that anger that he's

00:17:14 --> 00:17:18

feeling right now would go away. Right? He just needs to say, with

00:17:18 --> 00:17:19

a bIllahi min ash shaytani regime.

00:17:21 --> 00:17:24

So now you may ask that why do you read our will to bIllahi min ash

00:17:24 --> 00:17:29

shaytani regime? When you get angry? What's that got to do with

00:17:29 --> 00:17:33

anything? Why is anger and are all the bIllahi min ash shaytani R

00:17:33 --> 00:17:35

rajim, as you know, are all the bIllahi min ash shaytani R rajim.

00:17:35 --> 00:17:40

It means I seek refuge in Allah from Shaytaan, The Accursed what's

00:17:40 --> 00:17:45

shaytaan? Why seeking refuge from the shaytaan when you angry, angry

00:17:45 --> 00:17:48

is your personal feeling. It's not like a bad thought in your mind,

00:17:48 --> 00:17:51

like a thought to go and commit a haram or something like that. So

00:17:51 --> 00:17:55

why? Why is it like that? If somebody's asking that, asking

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that. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has provided

00:18:01 --> 00:18:04

understanding of that as well. And many of our other might have

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discussed that as well. That shaytaan is created from fire. And

00:18:09 --> 00:18:14

fire is heat. Anger is also a sense of a state of heat in the

00:18:14 --> 00:18:17

body when you get overheated. That's essentially what's going on

00:18:17 --> 00:18:22

this person is getting overheated. And it's a similar idea that you

00:18:23 --> 00:18:29

you can only extinguish fire with, you know, it's the shaytaan. So

00:18:29 --> 00:18:32

you say older bIllahi min, Ash shaytani R Rajim shaytaan. See,

00:18:32 --> 00:18:35

when a person gets angry shaytaan rides the wave of the anger.

00:18:36 --> 00:18:39

That's the thing once you get angry, shaytan is always around.

00:18:39 --> 00:18:42

Right? So he then writes that wave and makes us do things in our

00:18:42 --> 00:18:45

anger, say things that I mean, how many of us

00:18:46 --> 00:18:50

recognize that can identify that can recall that when we were

00:18:50 --> 00:18:54

angry, we said things that we regretted. That's because shaytaan

00:18:55 --> 00:18:59

started writing that emotion. So one of the emotions that shaytaan

00:18:59 --> 00:19:03

writes is anger, right? And he uses it, it's a tool of the

00:19:03 --> 00:19:06

shaytaan to do it. That's why we say Oh, bIllahi min ash shaytani

00:19:06 --> 00:19:09

regime. So that means that while the natural state of the anger in

00:19:09 --> 00:19:12

you know that we feel the physiological state, the

00:19:12 --> 00:19:16

psychological state that we're in, we don't we say older we live in a

00:19:16 --> 00:19:20

showdown or at least the anger can be subdued and suppressed as a

00:19:20 --> 00:19:23

physiological thing, and shaytaan will not take over.

00:19:24 --> 00:19:28

So shaytaan doesn't have to cause the anger, right? The anger could

00:19:28 --> 00:19:30

be caused for different reasons. But shaytaan can magnify it,

00:19:30 --> 00:19:34

expand it and take over it. So we settled we live in a shaytani

00:19:34 --> 00:19:37

regime, we won't go far with it, we can actually calm it down, we

00:19:37 --> 00:19:40

can actually say no suppress it. You know, we're not going to say

00:19:40 --> 00:19:43

this. I want to swear at the person. I want to do this. But no,

00:19:43 --> 00:19:46

that's against my personal dignity to do that. Sometimes To be

00:19:46 --> 00:19:51

honest, like, I'm on Twitter. So the other day we put out we're

00:19:51 --> 00:19:55

doing a class on hellfire. *, it's called * revealed. Right.

00:19:55 --> 00:20:00

So we put up the poster and immediately we got a non Muslim

00:20:00 --> 00:20:04

Write a non Muslim who commented on that and saying, This is so

00:20:04 --> 00:20:06

depraved or something like that. Now you can understand it's

00:20:06 --> 00:20:10

probably coming from an atheist perspective, to say that, you

00:20:10 --> 00:20:12

know, there's no concept of hellfire. And this is just you

00:20:12 --> 00:20:15

guys are still talking about hellfire. Like, you know, you're

00:20:15 --> 00:20:17

living in the modern world, where is the hellfire and so on, right?

00:20:18 --> 00:20:21

So not you feel like you want to lash out, you know, you feel like

00:20:21 --> 00:20:23

you want to say something, you know, there's a lot of things that

00:20:23 --> 00:20:26

you could actually say. So we knew that oh, the bIllahi min ash

00:20:26 --> 00:20:30

shaytaan your regime, at least the shape, you will be stopping the

00:20:30 --> 00:20:33

shaytaan from taking that anger and using it in the wrong way and

00:20:33 --> 00:20:36

saying what you might regret afterwards. Because at the end of

00:20:36 --> 00:20:40

the day, we as Muslims, and especially Muslim leaders, anybody

00:20:40 --> 00:20:42

who's dignified as a Muslim, right, they need to have their

00:20:42 --> 00:20:47

self respect. Right? It shouldn't be that now I can start swearing

00:20:47 --> 00:20:49

just because somebody has said something weird to me, or

00:20:49 --> 00:20:53

something somebody has abused me, or somebody has said something to

00:20:53 --> 00:20:58

cause an affront to me, I have to show that I have some character.

00:20:58 --> 00:21:01

That's the only thing that stopped. That To be honest, just

00:21:01 --> 00:21:04

having that thought. Just stopped me from saying anything in

00:21:04 --> 00:21:07

response. Otherwise, there's so many things that we could have

00:21:07 --> 00:21:11

said. So that's the kind of things that we need to understand that

00:21:11 --> 00:21:13

there's numerous Hadith about this. I'm gonna mention about the

00:21:13 --> 00:21:16

prevention. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has said the

00:21:16 --> 00:21:19

first Hadith, which I already mentioned, that

00:21:20 --> 00:21:23

I will be live in a shaytani R rajim. So shaytaan doesn't take

00:21:23 --> 00:21:27

over and take advantage of your anger. Number two, the Prophet

00:21:27 --> 00:21:30

sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that Allah in the hot tub

00:21:30 --> 00:21:36

jumbotron fecal Bimini, Adam. Anger is An Ember in the heart of

00:21:37 --> 00:21:42

the human being of the of the son of Adam Wright, a former ra Ito

00:21:42 --> 00:21:46

Mila Humbert he is a one Tifa he, I would urge you, haven't you

00:21:46 --> 00:21:50

seen? Basically the way he said is that, haven't you seen the redness

00:21:50 --> 00:21:53

of the eyes when somebody gets angry? And the

00:21:54 --> 00:21:57

the bloating and the swelling of the veins of the of the throat?

00:21:57 --> 00:22:01

Haven't you seen that? That shows that there's an internal cause, of

00:22:01 --> 00:22:05

course, there's no physical Ember, this is, you know, a metaphor to

00:22:05 --> 00:22:08

say that it's coming from inside, right. So then the Prophet

00:22:08 --> 00:22:13

sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that Furman a hacer Min 30 Min

00:22:13 --> 00:22:18

radica be che in full yield Zack Bill aren't anybody who feels

00:22:18 --> 00:22:23

this, right? who experiences this, he should go and he should go and

00:22:24 --> 00:22:27

basically lay himself down on the ground, he should stick to the

00:22:27 --> 00:22:27

ground.

00:22:29 --> 00:22:32

That's kind of interesting. And one of the reasons is that we

00:22:32 --> 00:22:38

earthing ourself, you know, fire is the reason why shaytaan and the

00:22:38 --> 00:22:41

jinn and so on are so problematic is because it made a fire. So

00:22:41 --> 00:22:45

their imagination is wild. And that's why they said that even if

00:22:45 --> 00:22:47

a gin tells you something, now, I don't want to get into the world

00:22:47 --> 00:22:51

of gin. You can't take everything that a gin says because they have

00:22:51 --> 00:22:55

a wild imagination. We are from the earth, right? We are from the

00:22:55 --> 00:22:58

soil, the soil is humble, right? And that's why even our

00:22:58 --> 00:23:01

electricity is actually grounded, it needs to go to back to the

00:23:01 --> 00:23:06

ground. So hit the ground, basically, that will calm us down.

00:23:06 --> 00:23:10

Right. And there's many other you know, there's many other aspects

00:23:10 --> 00:23:14

about that in through modern expression. Now, I'm not sure

00:23:14 --> 00:23:20

about Canada, any in America, for example, when you get stopped on

00:23:20 --> 00:23:23

the motorway, if a police if the police stop you on the highway,

00:23:23 --> 00:23:23

right?

00:23:25 --> 00:23:27

I don't know if you noticed, when the police stop you on the

00:23:27 --> 00:23:31

highway, you're supposed to stay in your car, keep your hands where

00:23:31 --> 00:23:35

they can see him, the police will come and they will stand the you

00:23:35 --> 00:23:38

know, you roll down your window, the police are not going to stand

00:23:38 --> 00:23:42

in front. So you're not going to be confronting, you're gonna be

00:23:42 --> 00:23:45

confronted by the police. They're gonna stand behind you and they're

00:23:45 --> 00:23:49

gonna say, sir, that whatever, right? Why do they stand behind

00:23:49 --> 00:23:54

you? And why don't they confront you? The reason is that all of

00:23:54 --> 00:23:57

these things are you can say management techniques for not

00:23:58 --> 00:24:04

overcoming, not not basically getting aggravated, and not

00:24:04 --> 00:24:07

letting your anger go overboard. Because when somebody is in front

00:24:07 --> 00:24:12

of you, you feel like you can lash out more there's a confrontational

00:24:12 --> 00:24:16

mode and, and form that you're in. Whereas when they behind you, you

00:24:16 --> 00:24:19

know, some of that is diffused. That's why the Prophet sallallahu

00:24:19 --> 00:24:23

alayhi wa sallam, you know, we find in the Hadith, the Prophet

00:24:23 --> 00:24:25

sallallahu alayhi salam also mentioned things like if you have

00:24:25 --> 00:24:29

a weapon, don't go brandishing it around. Like if you've got a knife

00:24:29 --> 00:24:32

or whatever, don't brandish it around, because the shaytaan may

00:24:32 --> 00:24:36

pull your hand, right, the shaytaan may pull your hand,

00:24:36 --> 00:24:39

because what happens is that if you've got a weapon, like if

00:24:39 --> 00:24:41

you've got a knife or something, you have this weird feeling that

00:24:41 --> 00:24:44

shaytaan recreating you to do something with it. And people have

00:24:44 --> 00:24:48

made mistakes in weapons where they had no intention to do so. So

00:24:48 --> 00:24:50

keep it down. That's where we're told to do all of these things.

00:24:51 --> 00:24:54

This is all to defuse it and so that nothing gets out of hand.

00:24:55 --> 00:24:56

That's why

00:24:58 --> 00:24:59

we've been told in our day like Abdullah

00:25:00 --> 00:25:04

Are you sorry a Buddha, the Buddha or the Allah and I think it was

00:25:04 --> 00:25:07

him that once somebody got him angry, and he was in the fields,

00:25:07 --> 00:25:12

and there's there's water there, it's soggy ground. So somebody got

00:25:12 --> 00:25:17

him angry, and he sat down. Then The discussion continued, and he,

00:25:18 --> 00:25:22

you know, it was still at, you know, an angry state. So he laid

00:25:22 --> 00:25:25

down down and I said, What are you doing? He said, I'm doing what

00:25:25 --> 00:25:27

I've been told to do by the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam,

00:25:27 --> 00:25:30

you're earthing yourself, you're getting down and you're earthing

00:25:30 --> 00:25:34

yourself. Now I, you know, I know that might sound a bit. But what

00:25:34 --> 00:25:36

I've noticed is that if you

00:25:38 --> 00:25:42

in fact, this is what studies show that if you want to tell somebody

00:25:42 --> 00:25:46

something and critique them, you know, like, for example, it's a

00:25:46 --> 00:25:51

brother of yours, a child of yours, a friend of yours, like,

00:25:51 --> 00:25:53

let's just say that there's somebody in the masjid that you've

00:25:53 --> 00:25:57

heard, said something about you, or has got a misunderstanding or

00:25:57 --> 00:25:59

whatever, and you need to correct them, you need to correct the

00:25:59 --> 00:26:02

understanding, don't grab them after Salah there's many of us

00:26:02 --> 00:26:06

would do for example, right? And just take them to a site and start

00:26:06 --> 00:26:10

standing up and saying that, it, you know, you've got more chances

00:26:10 --> 00:26:14

if you sit the person down. Right, if you sit the person down, they

00:26:14 --> 00:26:17

say that you've got more chances of convincing the person or two

00:26:17 --> 00:26:21

people taking criticism, they say that people take criticism, much

00:26:21 --> 00:26:24

less when they're standing than when they're sitting. And they

00:26:24 --> 00:26:28

take more criticism when they're lying down than when they do when

00:26:28 --> 00:26:32

they're sitting. So actually, the most ideal situation is that if

00:26:32 --> 00:26:36

you want to critique somebody, and have that kind of a discussion

00:26:36 --> 00:26:39

where you want to correct something of this, call them to

00:26:39 --> 00:26:42

your house, right? Go somewhere and you know, get somewhere where

00:26:42 --> 00:26:44

you can actually lay them down. I mean, I know that's a bit too

00:26:44 --> 00:26:46

much, but at least have them sitting down relaxed, the more

00:26:46 --> 00:26:50

relaxed they are. The less confrontational, the more taller,

00:26:50 --> 00:26:54

the more tolerant, the more agreeable they will be. And the

00:26:54 --> 00:26:57

more you will be able to get through to them. never criticize

00:26:57 --> 00:26:59

somebody standing up, because there's just too much of

00:26:59 --> 00:27:03

confrontational mode. Right? It's just too much of a confrontation

00:27:03 --> 00:27:06

mode. That's why sit down and what the prophets Allah ism is telling

00:27:06 --> 00:27:09

us, you know, is is is the basis of all of this, right? It's

00:27:09 --> 00:27:14

showing us exactly if this is what the studies show, these kinds of

00:27:14 --> 00:27:18

things to be happening as well. The other thing that we can do is

00:27:18 --> 00:27:19

to

00:27:20 --> 00:27:24

put a buffer in between. Now, there's a beautiful dua that's

00:27:24 --> 00:27:27

helped me a lot, the Prophet sallallahu sallam,

00:27:28 --> 00:27:31

this is a dua of the Prophet salallahu Salam Allahumma inni are

00:27:31 --> 00:27:36

obika Mina Shinnecock, when the FARC was so ill o'clock, Allahu

00:27:36 --> 00:27:39

meanie, I would have been a sheikh archy when he felt he was so ill

00:27:39 --> 00:27:43

Ah, now sometimes there are certain people that we have anger

00:27:43 --> 00:27:47

problems with generally, when I see that person, then because they

00:27:47 --> 00:27:50

just irritate me, they just say something to me. It's just this

00:27:50 --> 00:27:54

weird relationship, I get angry, like, I just don't have tolerance.

00:27:54 --> 00:27:59

So prepare yourself from before. There's no point. I mean, a Muslim

00:27:59 --> 00:28:01

is supposed to be somebody who doesn't get bitten from the same

00:28:01 --> 00:28:05

hole twice, right? The person may aggravate you, the person may

00:28:05 --> 00:28:09

irritate you a lot. But at the end of the day, we need to try to

00:28:10 --> 00:28:15

preempt that. Why should I be the one who loses it all the time? How

00:28:15 --> 00:28:18

can I defuse this? How can I sort this out in a different way? How

00:28:18 --> 00:28:22

can I get over this? How can it be that I don't have this problem

00:28:22 --> 00:28:26

anymore? I don't have these issues anymore. This is the kind of thing

00:28:26 --> 00:28:30

that we must learn. So what you do is you preempt it if there's a

00:28:30 --> 00:28:33

certain person that you have to meet, maybe it's a relative, maybe

00:28:33 --> 00:28:36

it's your own brother, maybe it's your father, maybe it's your

00:28:36 --> 00:28:39

mother, somebody and you know that he always kick off on something

00:28:39 --> 00:28:43

before you go in, compose yourself, right? Then number two,

00:28:43 --> 00:28:48

you know the, the kind of hot flashpoints right, try to avoid

00:28:48 --> 00:28:53

those. And, above all, read the DUA. Oh Allah I seek your refuge

00:28:53 --> 00:28:57

from Shinnecock, which basically means dispute, right? quarreling

00:28:57 --> 00:29:02

and arguing, the FARC hypocrisy was so ill of luck and bad

00:29:02 --> 00:29:05

character. And here the bad character, obviously comes from

00:29:05 --> 00:29:09

the anger faculty. I've noticed that this has helped me and

00:29:09 --> 00:29:13

inshallah it will help you if you read this Allahumma inni or obika

00:29:13 --> 00:29:15

You know that much already? Because there's so many to us like

00:29:15 --> 00:29:19

that Allah, how many hours a week I mean, a sheer copy one nissaki

00:29:19 --> 00:29:24

was so ill o'clock. So that inshallah will help as well. Now,

00:29:24 --> 00:29:28

why should you do something about your anger? As I said, for people

00:29:28 --> 00:29:30

who are married, and they're very angry people, they're going to

00:29:30 --> 00:29:32

know that it's messed up their marriage or is messing up their

00:29:32 --> 00:29:36

marriage, but the wonderful thing is that you can actually sort it

00:29:36 --> 00:29:40

out if you really want to. A lot of people with anger problems,

00:29:40 --> 00:29:45

they actually feel quite, quite comfortable, sometimes with their

00:29:45 --> 00:29:49

anger because it gives them this false sense of power. Because when

00:29:49 --> 00:29:53

they angry, they lash out, and they feel that everybody else

00:29:53 --> 00:29:57

cowers and sits down and, you know, doesn't say anything. That's

00:29:57 --> 00:30:00

just a false sense of anger. You'd rather get that through

00:30:00 --> 00:30:03

Respect, right? And there are ways to get that through respect rather

00:30:03 --> 00:30:09

than being angry, because anger is bad for you. Right? Anger is not

00:30:09 --> 00:30:13

just spiritually bad for you, not only can it be sinful, right, if

00:30:13 --> 00:30:16

done in the wrong way, and you know, in these extreme ways, but

00:30:16 --> 00:30:21

it's actually physically bad for a person. So how is anger bad? Well,

00:30:21 --> 00:30:27

you see, anger, in a physiological sense, is a constant flood of

00:30:27 --> 00:30:32

stress chemicals. Right? It's a release, it's, it's this release

00:30:32 --> 00:30:34

of stress chemicals, that's when you get angry, you get stress,

00:30:35 --> 00:30:35

right?

00:30:36 --> 00:30:41

There's a lot of that that goes, and that becomes associated with

00:30:41 --> 00:30:41

other

00:30:42 --> 00:30:46

metabolic changes, right? Especially with unmanaged anger.

00:30:46 --> 00:30:49

As I said, anger is a natural thing. And there's nothing wrong

00:30:49 --> 00:30:52

with having a sense and a faculty of anger. There's nothing wrong

00:30:52 --> 00:30:56

with that. But if it's unmanaged anger, where you're constantly

00:30:56 --> 00:31:00

flying off the handle, then that causes a flood of stress

00:31:00 --> 00:31:04

chemicals, and that can be bad for you. That drip drip drip of that

00:31:04 --> 00:31:08

stress, chemical is extremely harmful for a person, different,

00:31:08 --> 00:31:11

different aspects of the body. So for some people, for example, it's

00:31:11 --> 00:31:14

created headaches, right, they get constant headaches, because

00:31:14 --> 00:31:17

they're constantly angry about something unmanaged, that they,

00:31:17 --> 00:31:19

they don't know how to manage their anger, right? They don't how

00:31:19 --> 00:31:20

to manage the anger.

00:31:21 --> 00:31:24

Eventually, that could lead to digestion problems, right?

00:31:24 --> 00:31:28

Abdominal pain and insomnia, you get angry, you can't sleep, right?

00:31:28 --> 00:31:33

Insomnia issues, increase anxiety, increase anxiety, right?

00:31:33 --> 00:31:37

Depression, because eventually, if you get so angry, people don't

00:31:37 --> 00:31:39

want to speak to you, because you can't reason with them, you just

00:31:39 --> 00:31:42

get too angry, right? Everything has to be dealt with anger. So

00:31:42 --> 00:31:45

then your person, you're going to get depressed, because you're not

00:31:45 --> 00:31:49

going to be able to see anything coming from people having that

00:31:49 --> 00:31:52

good interaction, high blood pressure, subhanAllah, high blood

00:31:52 --> 00:31:55

pressure, that's a big thing. When it comes to anger, they get high

00:31:55 --> 00:31:58

blood pressure. And it leads to also in fact, in some people, it

00:31:58 --> 00:32:00

leads to eczema, not necessarily in everybody. But in some people,

00:32:00 --> 00:32:03

it could even lead to skin problems and eczema. But

00:32:03 --> 00:32:07

eventually, some of the worst things is that when the high blood

00:32:07 --> 00:32:10

pressure and all of these other things, right, heart attack,

00:32:10 --> 00:32:15

stroke, all of these things could could ensue. For a person who

00:32:15 --> 00:32:19

doesn't control the anger. That's just the physiological aspects,

00:32:19 --> 00:32:22

spiritual aspects, and mess up your prayer, you keep getting

00:32:22 --> 00:32:25

angry in your in your Salah, the anger is going to cause a dispute,

00:32:25 --> 00:32:27

maybe it's going to cause something else you're planning

00:32:27 --> 00:32:30

your next move, all of that is going to create a problem. So

00:32:31 --> 00:32:35

these are a list right? And not in any kind of particular order. But

00:32:35 --> 00:32:39

in sha Allah, these are a list, I've tried some of them, I have

00:32:39 --> 00:32:42

not tried the others, but maybe inshallah it would be beneficial

00:32:42 --> 00:32:45

to some of us, you know, to all of us, insha Allah in some way.

00:32:46 --> 00:32:50

They say that if you do feel angry about something, take a walk, you

00:32:50 --> 00:32:55

know, firstly, walk away from the situation. And think, because the

00:32:55 --> 00:32:57

problem is that when you're angry, and I've noticed, sometimes

00:32:57 --> 00:33:00

somebody said something, you immediately want to respond, if

00:33:00 --> 00:33:03

you're that kind of a person. If you're a person who doesn't like

00:33:03 --> 00:33:06

responding at all, you won't have you know, you don't have a

00:33:06 --> 00:33:08

challenge with this, you will have other challenges. But when it

00:33:08 --> 00:33:12

comes to people, you know, who generally get angry, because we're

00:33:12 --> 00:33:15

talking about people with anger problems within the COVID and

00:33:15 --> 00:33:18

other situation, right? Walk away from the situation that sometimes

00:33:18 --> 00:33:21

helps temporarily, until you cooled down, then you can come

00:33:21 --> 00:33:24

back and deal with it in within a cooler sense, that works very

00:33:24 --> 00:33:29

well. Number two, try to pinpoint why do you get so angry? Do you

00:33:29 --> 00:33:32

have to get angry? Is that the only way to deal with this issue?

00:33:33 --> 00:33:36

Why do you get so angry? Is that the only way to deal with this

00:33:36 --> 00:33:38

issue? Can you not do it a different way? Is it because of

00:33:38 --> 00:33:42

something that you're doing that then creating that reaction,

00:33:42 --> 00:33:46

that's why you get angry, and then it causes you to get angry. Number

00:33:46 --> 00:33:50

three, if you keep getting angry, do something physical like going

00:33:50 --> 00:33:56

and taking a run, or on a treadmill or some kind of sport or

00:33:56 --> 00:34:00

physical exercise that again, helps to just dissipate the

00:34:00 --> 00:34:04

chemicals, that helps a lot to dissipate the chemic chemicals and

00:34:04 --> 00:34:05

sort things out like that as well.

00:34:06 --> 00:34:11

Another one is Subhanallah go and talk to somebody that you trust,

00:34:12 --> 00:34:16

right about your feelings and see if especially somebody who

00:34:16 --> 00:34:19

interacts with you regularly, because they will be able to tell

00:34:19 --> 00:34:22

and they might see patterns, if you can figure out the pattern

00:34:22 --> 00:34:24

that will be really really helpful. Right.

00:34:25 --> 00:34:31

Another one mentioned in the hadith of Muslim Ahmed is that you

00:34:31 --> 00:34:35

make will do, right, go and make will do and again, that is you're

00:34:35 --> 00:34:38

doing several things, you're distancing yourself, you're

00:34:38 --> 00:34:42

changing your activity, you're using water, right? So water is

00:34:42 --> 00:34:46

very effective for calming a person down as well. Alright, so

00:34:47 --> 00:34:49

that's really beneficial to do we'll do in fact, go and take a

00:34:49 --> 00:34:53

hostel if you can, that's even better. Right? That would really

00:34:53 --> 00:34:56

help to calm situations down you'll get a time to think about

00:34:56 --> 00:34:56

it as well.

00:34:57 --> 00:34:59

Constantly make dua to Allah subhanaw taala

00:35:00 --> 00:35:03

Want to protect you from the hands of anger and rage? Right, and I

00:35:03 --> 00:35:05

mentioned one of the doors there.

00:35:06 --> 00:35:10

Above all, if you really want to sort your anger out, I think one

00:35:10 --> 00:35:13

of the most effective ways one of the most effective ways to deal

00:35:13 --> 00:35:17

with arrogance, to deal with anger, to deal with greed and all

00:35:17 --> 00:35:22

of these things is to have a regimen of liquor. Allah subhanaw

00:35:22 --> 00:35:25

taala his name and if I stop and say this is probably one of the

00:35:25 --> 00:35:28

most important along with all of the other practical citizens, but

00:35:28 --> 00:35:31

this one is probably one of the most when you want to remember one

00:35:31 --> 00:35:35

thing from this is to get a regimen of liquor, you know,

00:35:35 --> 00:35:39

especially if you can find a good, you know, a good scholar, a good

00:35:40 --> 00:35:44

mentor, a good shake, right to help you out in this regard.

00:35:44 --> 00:35:48

Right? And to have a regimen of vicar, the name of Allah subhanho

00:35:48 --> 00:35:52

wa Taala is the most powerful to create humility in the heart

00:35:52 --> 00:35:56

because this is the benefit you'll get if you constantly take the

00:35:56 --> 00:35:58

name of Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah

00:35:58 --> 00:36:02

Illallah Allah's name can never be devoid of benefit, you know, it's

00:36:02 --> 00:36:05

going to effect you. It's going to soften the heart. A lot of the

00:36:05 --> 00:36:08

time we can't remedy anger because the heart is too hard. You know,

00:36:08 --> 00:36:11

we don't want to take any advice. The heart is too hard. Right? The

00:36:11 --> 00:36:14

advice doesn't go in. We don't soften ourselves. When you

00:36:14 --> 00:36:18

constantly Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah Illa

00:36:18 --> 00:36:21

Illa, Allah when you when you're repeating this, right, the vicar

00:36:21 --> 00:36:25

and you're remembering Allah, it softens a heart out, right? When

00:36:25 --> 00:36:28

it softens the heart out. It makes us more humble because it's now

00:36:28 --> 00:36:31

going to remind ourselves of our position. We're just the servant,

00:36:31 --> 00:36:37

a needy servant of Allah, Allah is the One who is worthy of all the

00:36:37 --> 00:36:41

high things that we want, right? Only Allah subhanaw taala is truly

00:36:41 --> 00:36:46

worthy of that. So that will help to defuse our arrogance that will

00:36:46 --> 00:36:49

help to defuse anger, right, you start seeing things in the right

00:36:49 --> 00:36:54

way, you start learning more about your deen. So that is why it

00:36:54 --> 00:36:58

really, really benefits to have a regimen of vicar, and especially

00:36:58 --> 00:37:00

some of the moral cupboards, some of the meditations, they're

00:37:00 --> 00:37:04

specifically beneficial, specifically beneficial for

00:37:05 --> 00:37:08

calming a person's anger down, right. And this is what the

00:37:08 --> 00:37:10

orlimar have found through a lot of judgment in the name of Allah

00:37:10 --> 00:37:13

subhanaw taala is beneficial anyway. But this is a very

00:37:13 --> 00:37:17

specific benefit to that effect. Some other suggestions in the

00:37:17 --> 00:37:19

short time that we have is

00:37:20 --> 00:37:25

accept your mistake. And be honest with yourself like is, Should I

00:37:25 --> 00:37:30

really be getting angry here, this just gets, you know, this is all

00:37:30 --> 00:37:34

going to be really tied up with arrogance. And I always need to be

00:37:34 --> 00:37:38

the right one and so on, you know that nobody else can have one over

00:37:38 --> 00:37:42

me. All of that. We have to learn to sometimes just accept our

00:37:42 --> 00:37:45

mistake and not argue about it, because that's one of the worst

00:37:45 --> 00:37:46

situations.

00:37:47 --> 00:37:51

Learn to forgive and forget. So you don't have to get angry and

00:37:51 --> 00:37:54

have to bash everything down and correct everybody learn to forgive

00:37:54 --> 00:37:58

and forget, you know, why? Why should you fly off your handle and

00:37:58 --> 00:38:01

cause yourself, you know, possibility of a stroke, and so

00:38:01 --> 00:38:03

on. Another one is

00:38:05 --> 00:38:09

try to develop Indifference Indifference to the thing, which

00:38:09 --> 00:38:13

bothers you too much. Like, it bothers you. That's why you get

00:38:13 --> 00:38:17

angry. But you're seeing that there's no point of it bothering

00:38:17 --> 00:38:21

me, or there's no benefit in it bothering me. It's not going to

00:38:21 --> 00:38:24

get me anywhere. So what you then do is you try to develop an

00:38:24 --> 00:38:26

indifference to it. Of course, if it's an important matter, you

00:38:26 --> 00:38:30

can't do that. So this won't necessarily work everywhere. Keep

00:38:30 --> 00:38:36

a diary of your outbursts meaning note, your outbursts like today, I

00:38:36 --> 00:38:40

got angry twice, is he this isn't going to change overnight. If

00:38:40 --> 00:38:44

we've had an anger problem over the last 510 1520 years, right,

00:38:44 --> 00:38:47

it's not going to change overnight. The only time it

00:38:47 --> 00:38:53

changes overnight is if we are hit with a massive problem. And we

00:38:53 --> 00:39:00

start realizing our vulnerability, right? Our weakness, our absolute

00:39:00 --> 00:39:05

need for Allah and our weakness in front of the systems of the world

00:39:05 --> 00:39:08

as well. Then sometimes people become very, very, very humble.

00:39:09 --> 00:39:13

But why do why are we waiting for something big to happen, you know,

00:39:13 --> 00:39:17

to take a big hit know, what we do is that every time we do get

00:39:17 --> 00:39:20

angry, angry, at the end of the day, whatever we think back like

00:39:20 --> 00:39:24

what was it that made me angry? Next time that happens. I want to

00:39:24 --> 00:39:28

like something that really bothers me sometimes the way people drive.

00:39:28 --> 00:39:31

Okay. I think I've calmed down a bit, but that is when I would get

00:39:31 --> 00:39:35

angry. So I have to think about it that way that what you know, if I

00:39:35 --> 00:39:38

say this, I'm never going to see this guy again. So why should I

00:39:38 --> 00:39:41

swear that person? Hamdulillah I don't think I swear I swear but

00:39:41 --> 00:39:44

losing. People feel the need to swear, what's the benefit of

00:39:44 --> 00:39:48

swearing? You're gonna see that person for a few seconds, right?

00:39:48 --> 00:39:51

If somebody will cut you off or whatever is not somebody locally

00:39:51 --> 00:39:54

that constantly cuts you off, then there's a different strategy. This

00:39:54 --> 00:39:56

is somewhere you're driving outside. Somebody cut you off. Now

00:39:56 --> 00:39:59

you want to roll down your window and say a few things. What do you

00:39:59 --> 00:39:59

get out of it?

00:40:00 --> 00:40:02

You're never going to see that guy again. You're probably never going

00:40:02 --> 00:40:05

to see what's what's the point of lowering yourself saying a few

00:40:05 --> 00:40:09

abusive words, making a bad face or whatever, what what are you

00:40:09 --> 00:40:13

going to get out of that thing? Is it worth it or not? Now, in terms

00:40:13 --> 00:40:18

of, there's a lot of training that you can get about this as

00:40:18 --> 00:40:22

assertiveness training, there's conflict resolution that helps the

00:40:22 --> 00:40:25

you know, the whole science of conflict resolution, take a call,

00:40:25 --> 00:40:29

you know, read a book on conflict resolution, if that is the reason

00:40:29 --> 00:40:31

why you constantly get angry, where you just can't get to

00:40:31 --> 00:40:35

convince people, people don't get it sometimes. And then you get

00:40:35 --> 00:40:39

angry learning relaxation techniques. But so I think

00:40:39 --> 00:40:42

relaxation techniques, you know, you could do that through exercise

00:40:42 --> 00:40:47

and so on. But one of the best forms of relaxation is by doing a

00:40:47 --> 00:40:50

maraca, like a meditation, right and having a vicar regimen.

00:40:52 --> 00:40:55

If it gets really bad, then, you know, you need to see a

00:40:55 --> 00:40:59

psychologist or a counselor. Right? Especially if it's about

00:40:59 --> 00:41:02

events of the past. Now, if you're getting angry about events of the

00:41:02 --> 00:41:05

past that you can't even change now, then you need some kind of

00:41:05 --> 00:41:09

therapy, right? You need some kind of therapy, I've got a lecture

00:41:09 --> 00:41:11

that you should probably listen to if you've got issues about the

00:41:11 --> 00:41:14

past and you're still carrying them is called Don't be depressed.

00:41:14 --> 00:41:18

You don't know your future that's on zamzam. academy.com right. It's

00:41:18 --> 00:41:20

very important to understand this whole concept of Divine Decree,

00:41:20 --> 00:41:23

especially if you're angry with Allah subhanaw taala. Right. I

00:41:23 --> 00:41:26

know our topic is more about families and so on.

00:41:27 --> 00:41:31

Allahu Akbar, exercise regularly, that helps to just dissipate,

00:41:31 --> 00:41:36

dissipate some of the chemicals, right, so that you won't get so

00:41:36 --> 00:41:41

angry, Inshallah, people who are stressed more are more likely to

00:41:41 --> 00:41:44

express anger. So if you've got a thing that's stressing you out,

00:41:44 --> 00:41:48

and I know, people losing their jobs or having to work from home,

00:41:48 --> 00:41:51

not having enough space in the house, you know, everybody's

00:41:51 --> 00:41:55

competing for the particular space. So, you know, the children

00:41:55 --> 00:42:00

are shouting around and you know, subhanAllah you know, all of those

00:42:00 --> 00:42:03

are obviously stress causes. So

00:42:05 --> 00:42:08

we have to do the best we can this is Allah subhanaw taala put us

00:42:08 --> 00:42:12

into the situation may he take us out of it, but numerous worldwide

00:42:12 --> 00:42:16

studies right have documented that regular exercise can actually help

00:42:16 --> 00:42:21

mood and reduce stress levels. reason is, because I think

00:42:21 --> 00:42:26

physical exertion burns up the stress chemicals, you can vent

00:42:26 --> 00:42:30

them within the exercise, and you also boost production of mood

00:42:30 --> 00:42:34

regulating neurotransmitters right? In the brain including

00:42:34 --> 00:42:39

endorphins and other other positive chemicals. You know,

00:42:39 --> 00:42:43

there's a lot of stuff that we can we can we can talk about.

00:42:45 --> 00:42:48

But just a few more things.

00:42:50 --> 00:42:54

To mention, there's a hadith in Imam Ahmed's Muslim where he says

00:42:54 --> 00:42:56

that the Prophet Allah some said either hottie but I had to

00:42:56 --> 00:42:57

configure squid.

00:42:58 --> 00:43:04

When one of you gets angry, just be quiet for a while. Be quiet for

00:43:04 --> 00:43:09

a while. Right? That the in fact a lot of people do use that and that

00:43:09 --> 00:43:11

is very helpful as well. And again, all of these practical

00:43:11 --> 00:43:16

suggestions are from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, or

00:43:16 --> 00:43:21

whatever, no, Mohammed a Saturday. Somebody got him angry. So he got

00:43:21 --> 00:43:24

up, and he performed will do. And he said that the Prophet

00:43:24 --> 00:43:29

sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has said that in the Lucha Libre Muna

00:43:29 --> 00:43:30

shaytaan

00:43:31 --> 00:43:33

anger comes from the shaytaan

00:43:34 --> 00:43:38

we're in the shaytaan a holy come in an shaytan is I alluded to this

00:43:38 --> 00:43:43

before the shaytaan is created from the fire. We're in number two

00:43:43 --> 00:43:48

feet away number two throttle narrow Bill Maher. And fire is

00:43:48 --> 00:43:52

generally extinguished with water. So either for either hollyburn

00:43:52 --> 00:43:57

haidakhan, failure failure Tada. So when one of you does get angry,

00:43:57 --> 00:44:01

go and perform or do right, that's the full Hadith or what I what I

00:44:01 --> 00:44:04

indicated to the before, once

00:44:06 --> 00:44:12

more Avia he was angered by Abu Muslim al whole learning. So he

00:44:12 --> 00:44:16

got up and he performed goosal He actually went and took a bath and

00:44:16 --> 00:44:20

he came back and he said that he said the same thing that the

00:44:20 --> 00:44:23

Prophet sallallahu Sallam had mentioned. You see the virtues of

00:44:23 --> 00:44:27

calming ourselves down and controlling our anger there's a

00:44:27 --> 00:44:30

hadith that I'm going to mention to you from Imam Muhammad the

00:44:30 --> 00:44:34

profits or losses and man girl Varma livan What were you still to

00:44:34 --> 00:44:39

a young Fuller who whoever controls the anger calms them

00:44:39 --> 00:44:43

suppresses themselves suppresses the anger, whereas he's got the

00:44:43 --> 00:44:50

ability to you can unleash it, meaning you're in a position right

00:44:50 --> 00:44:54

to unleash your anger and do something about it. Right but you

00:44:54 --> 00:44:58

actually control yourself. The hula hula yo Malkia Murthy Allah

00:44:58 --> 00:44:59

roussin hada

00:45:00 --> 00:45:05

Hatha Yoga Euro who Fee eyl Fee eyl, holy Shah.

00:45:06 --> 00:45:10

Now, the prophets, Allah was me speaking to men. So that's why

00:45:10 --> 00:45:15

he's giving them that incentive, basically, that whoever controls

00:45:15 --> 00:45:21

the anger when, even though they were in a situation where they had

00:45:21 --> 00:45:25

the ability to unleash it, right Anahata, Allah will invite them

00:45:25 --> 00:45:30

will call them right in front of everybody in front of all of

00:45:30 --> 00:45:34

creation. Right? So it's, it's a call of honor, right? This person

00:45:34 --> 00:45:37

is going to be honored in that sense. And Allah subhanaw taala,

00:45:37 --> 00:45:41

eventually will also then give him the option to take whichever hood

00:45:41 --> 00:45:46

that he wants. Now I know that's kind of, you know, for the men,

00:45:46 --> 00:45:49

right, generally, but Allah subhanaw taala, will give

00:45:49 --> 00:45:54

something of similar greatness and honor and happiness and joy to the

00:45:54 --> 00:45:57

women who do that as well. This is not just for men, it's not just

00:45:57 --> 00:46:00

men who have a problem with anger, right? There's other people who

00:46:00 --> 00:46:05

have you know, women have problems as well with anger. So

00:46:06 --> 00:46:11

Allahu Akbar, I think, we ask Allah subhanaw taala to assist us

00:46:11 --> 00:46:15

just to conclude, put a space in between, let us think and first

00:46:15 --> 00:46:18

recognize that we do have an anger problem, otherwise, we're not

00:46:18 --> 00:46:21

going to get anywhere with this. Let's realize the relationships

00:46:21 --> 00:46:23

that it's straining, it's destroying, it's causing a

00:46:23 --> 00:46:28

problem, we get angry, we anger is physiologically a problem

00:46:28 --> 00:46:32

physically, medically, psychologically, spiritually a

00:46:32 --> 00:46:36

problem. It is spoiling our worships. It's, it's spoiling our

00:46:36 --> 00:46:40

character. It's not allowing us to get the balance in our character,

00:46:40 --> 00:46:44

right, you know, luck, which is one of the most you can say

00:46:44 --> 00:46:47

rewarded aspects in Islam after the fall even obligations, the

00:46:47 --> 00:46:51

prophesy, some said that Islam was sent for good character. So that's

00:46:51 --> 00:46:55

why all of these things are there that are there for that. And it is

00:46:55 --> 00:46:58

the advice of the Prophet salallahu Salam, when people ask

00:46:58 --> 00:47:00

for the advice, especially if you've got a problem, then

00:47:00 --> 00:47:04

consider that advice for us. So we ask Allah subhanaw taala for Tofik

00:47:04 --> 00:47:07

May Allah bless all of you, wherever you are in the world,

00:47:08 --> 00:47:10

especially our Canadian brothers, who this program was actually

00:47:10 --> 00:47:13

organized for and has been one of them he himself may Allah grant

00:47:13 --> 00:47:18

him a long life with great Iman and mashallah much more work than

00:47:18 --> 00:47:22

what he's already done. May Allah accept him to do even much greater

00:47:22 --> 00:47:26

work and his organizations and everything else? And all of our

00:47:26 --> 00:47:29

other teachers Allah, Allah, bless them all, Allah, Allah, bless them

00:47:29 --> 00:47:33

all. Allah bless the OMA remove these conflicts, May Allah take us

00:47:33 --> 00:47:36

out stronger than we were, right before we enter this conflict,

00:47:36 --> 00:47:41

this conflict, this not conflict, but this pandemic is rather a

00:47:41 --> 00:47:45

punishment for some people who are having a problem in this right.

00:47:45 --> 00:47:48

It's a source of mercy for other people, you know, and it's a

00:47:48 --> 00:47:51

source of forgiveness and purification for a lot of other

00:47:51 --> 00:47:54

people. Let us make it a source of purification and for elevation.

00:47:54 --> 00:47:58

Otherwise, the pandemic will pass right in sha Allah, there's going

00:47:58 --> 00:48:00

to be an end to it right? Everything ends in this world,

00:48:00 --> 00:48:04

right? It's gonna end but if we don't come out of it better than

00:48:04 --> 00:48:08

we are, then the whole thing for us has been useless, right?

00:48:08 --> 00:48:10

Whereas Allah subhanaw taala wants to teach us the lesson. So may

00:48:10 --> 00:48:13

Allah subhanaw taala allow us to become better people during this

00:48:13 --> 00:48:16

time, Allah except I will do as well as with that one and Al hamdu

00:48:16 --> 00:48:18

Lillahi Rabbil Alameen

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