Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Ties in Kinship Get Increase in Your Sustenance and Your Life
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Bismillah your Walkman you're watching
Smilla Rahmanir Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Salatu
was Salam ala UL Mursaleen. While early he also be here about a casa
limiter, Sleeman Kathira on Ilario, Medina Medina.
Several weeks ago,
there was an invitation that I had to go to a relative's a pika, you
had a son. So he invited us for an Akiko in a city about two, two
hours away from here, but two hours away from London, in the
general Midlands area.
Now, going there,
obviously, is going to cost money. So
the idea was that it's going to cost 4040 pounds to go there.
For the petrol, and along with that, when you go there, you have
to obviously give a gift as well. You know, it's a kind of a,
something that is silently understood, we do these things
when we go to somebody's arcade, or a celebration of some sort. So,
if you look at it from a purely monetary aspect, you're taking out
one day, in your busy lifestyle, in your busy life, you're taking
out one day, you're spending 6070 pounds on petrol, and then you're
spending on top of that, to give them some kind of a gift. So we're
talking about, you know, 70 to 100 pounds, that you're going to be
spending
80 to 100 pounds that you're going to be spending on such a trip. Now
the thing is that if your mind is not in it, if you're not going
there for any other purpose, like let's just say that you're going
there for multiple purposes. So you've got many different things
that you can do, you can make a big trip out of it, then maybe
some people justify it like that. Another way, some people, they
just feel obliged to go in many, in many cases, what we have is, in
many of these cases, what we have is that people feel obliged to go
otherwise, the host, the person who's invited you, they're going
to feel really let down, they might stop talking to you, they
may all of these kinds of things. Now, for me, this wasn't the
situation, the host is a very good person who recognizes and
understands that I'm quite busy. And he actually half thought I
wasn't going to be able to make it anyway. But the way I started
looking at it, you know, because at the end of the day, if you
studied so many Hadith, and you know, you've studied the Quran,
and so on, it should impact you one day, it should, slowly,
slowly, it should make a change in your life. So the way I looked at
it, I thought, Look, if I'm gonna go there, I'm going to spend all
of this money. So if you look at it from a monetary aspect, if you
look at it financially, you're losing out, because you've got no
excitement going, you're only going because it's an obligation.
I mean, this is what some people would think you're only going
because it's an obligation, right? You're spending money on top of
that, what are you going to get out of it? Now the thing is that
this is where the near and this is where the intention of the
believer comes in.
What came to mind for me, right was firstly, I didn't have to go
because the person not didn't expect me to come, he gave
invitation to everybody, but he knows how busy I am. So I know
that Insha Allah, he wouldn't feel bad if I if I didn't come there.
Right? If I didn't go, I was quite confident about that. But I
thought at the end of the day, this is a relative of mine, this
is a close relative of mine. And if we are not good with our
relatives, if we're not good with our blood relatives, and if we
don't have good association with them, and if we don't share in
their happiness, and in the times of sadness, where we're going to
be consoled them, and we kind of take part in that, then our our
our society is going to be totally, totally dismantled.
Because at the end of the day, you're you have to start with your
family, you have to start with your extended family members
before you go on with your friends. Right. And there's a
hadith to that effect that the prophets of Allah said that
towards the end of time, there will come a time when a person
will bring close their friends, and they will distant that they
will, they will make distant their fathers and mothers, their parents
essentially. And we're seeing this happen right now. Because people
don't want to go and visit the relatives. They don't want to talk
to their parents properly. They are more interested in speaking to
their friends, for example, on whatsapp on Facebook, etc. I mean
the Hadith when I first heard it, I was I was taking it in a very
physical kind of way. But Subhanallah today it's showing you
that you know you could be sitting with your you know, you could be
sitting with your iPad, and or your whatsapp or whatever it is in
the room right next to your parents. And you could be
literally just miles away talking to 50 friends, right conversing
with 50 friends on these WhatsApp groups and these Facebook and
other mediums like that. totally oblivious to what your mother
might be telling you what your father might be telling you what
your brothers and
Sisters might be turning you Subhanallah right so you've got
that situation right now. Now, for me, I knew that the person I was
quite confident the person wasn't going to go into we feel bad but
then what came to mind for me, right that made this trip very
worthwhile for me. Even you know, it made it very worthwhile for me
and I think it's important that we keep this hadith in mind as a
hadith that's rated by man Bukhari and Muslim now keep these words in
mind because really, this is a very significant Hadith. Imam
Bukhari Muslim relate from unus Abdul Malik Radi Allahu anhu, he
says that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,
Man Surah, who man Surah, who a noob Salah who fear is, whoever it
makes it happy that he gets an increase in the increase in his
sustenance, meaning whoever is happy to receive an increase in
their sustenance, whoever would become very satisfied very, very
pleased that they would get an increase in their sustenance,
William Sadler houfy authority, and that he has his remembrance or
his life is extended his his memory, a memory for him is
extended for yourself Rahima who then he needs to tie the knots of
kinship, which means that he needs to act well with his family
members, his blood relatives. And this you know, is both for men and
women. Essentially, if you want a longer life, essentially, this
hadith is speaking about two things, you want a longer life, a
better quality life, full of blessings and baraka and lots of
achievement, both worldly achievement and Oribi achievement
which means achievement related to spirituality related to the
hereafter where you will be achieving high in the hereafter
gender to for those inshallah and secondly, to gain a lot of
sustenance in this world so that you're not you don't have to be,
you don't have to go through difficulties in earning your
livelihood, livelihood is coming by easily, right so you're getting
lots of baraka and blessing in your livelihood. So the Prophet
sallallahu sallam said, Whoever Surah who survives so remains to
be happy, to be satisfied, to be really pleased to be really glad
about something. So whoever it makes it very whoever it makes
glad that they are given bustled, you have sought which means
spread, right wideness extension extensiveness in their risk, risk
means sustenance, that which we rely on to deal with our life,
which means money and wealth to to be able to buy our daily
provisions that we need to stay alive with our food, etc. Our
homes, that is also risk, our our wealth, our jobs, our interaction
with people, all of this is there, because you've subtler who fear is
he or even setelah houfy authority he Yun sup NASA Yun said with that
comes from something to be deferred, something to be
extended, given more time, essentially comes where you've got
credit for something, right where you can pay later, we are 30 other
means effect, what influence what effects and what Mark you're going
to make in this world. So this could mean in many different ways
that you will do something, you'll have a great achievement in this
world, which people will remember afterwards. And they will make dua
for you that it'll be it'd be a positive effect, a positive effect
and a positive influence. Right? Oh, she was such a great person.
You know, she used to help out so much. Whenever there was a need,
she would help out. Or she was such a great person. She was very
generous. She was such a great person. She was like this used to
always make dua for us. She used to do this for us, she used to
help out she was just a great person, her o'clock, look at her
character, you know, look at this, look at that. Right. So obviously,
this refers to men as well, but because you know, this is a
woman's gathering. That's why I'm mentioning it in this way. But
this is what we're speaking about, that you're going to get a good
life. So a good life based on both worldly achievement in sha Allah
and also achievement that is beneficial for the hereafter. So
you will do good deeds as well. Because if you've got quality in
life, according to Allah subhanaw taala it means that you will have
a very rich, fulfilling life that's fulfilling both from a
worldly perspective. You'll be happy with your your neighbors,
you'll be happy with your home, your household, your your husband,
your your, your, your parents, your children, your your friends,
your if you've got a job, if you're doing anything, if you're
doing any contributions. If you're doing any welfare work, whatever
it is, you're salats you're you will be given Tofik to do get
closer to Allah subhanaw taala to know the Prophet salallahu salam
to fulfill the sunnah to lead a prophetic life, you know, on the,
on the model of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to be
close to Allah subhanho wa Taala in sha Allah to make the Hajj good
not to be missing your prayers to be able to be covered properly as
is the requirement of the Sharia, to avoid sins avoid haram and just
general godless Subhanallah this is all this all of this comes into
this thing. How do you get all of this be good with your name or be
good with your family members? That is how you do it. How can you
know you might think that how do you get the one of these great
benefits that you get a longer life and you get an extension in
Your provision and sustenance just by being good with your with your
family members. The reason is that Allah subhanaw taala has
considered that to be so strong. He said a Rahim I have I have
taken the word rom Rahim, which means the kinship comes from the
womb, that those who have shared the same womb at one time with the
other, so blood relatives that come from the same kind of
ancestory. Right? I have taken a Chicago to la hoomin izmi. I have
taken this word extracted this word from one of my names, which
is our Rockman, which is the Most Merciful One. So there's an aspect
of Mercy included and compassion included in here. So, if a person
lives by that compassion with his, with his kin, and relatives and
family, then Allah subhanaw taala is saying that I will give you all
of these great rewards because you're acting by what I want you
to act by. Allah the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said
another Hadith narrated by Timothy Imam, Abu Dhabi, etc, that are
Rahimullah, your hammer home Rockman, the Most Merciful, the
people who are merciful to others, the Most Merciful One, our man
will be merciful to them, have mercy on the people on the earth,
and those in the heavens will have mercy on you. This all ties in
that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his worldview is that
people are good with their families, because that is how you
get support. You want support from your family initially, before
anybody else. If you're able to do that, and give that and and put
that together, then you're you are successful in what you do. Right?
You are successful in what you do. And these are the great rewards.
So basically, I went to that walima i Sorry, I went to the
Akiko. And then we went, I said, You know what, let's go further
up. So we did another 2030 miles to another relatives, you know,
another relative's house, we said, Let's go there as well. Right. So
you get to grips. At the same time, there was no need for us to
go. But it makes us feel good. Even though you're spending more
money. It's more petrol. Nowadays. Petrol is extremely expensive,
right. But the whole purpose is that when you have gotten into the
spiritual aspect, it doesn't matter how much you're spending,
you feel good about it, you know, and yet, there's a sense of
fulfillment. And that's the beauty of this, that once you start
looking at it from a Dini perspective, Allah subhanaw taala
helps you it doesn't become a monetary thing anymore. When I got
there, this relative of mine was so happy, so happy, so happy. He
wasn't able to speak to me much because he was involved in, you
know, doing all of the arrangements he'd call 300 people
for his Akiko. So he was over the moon, he wanted to thank Allah
subhanaw taala. And he wanted to really, you know, and he's got
mashallah, he's got money. So he is spending on 300 people in a
nice segregated way, right in a nice, proper Halal way, good food.
And he wants to, you know, he wants to, to feed people for an
hour of his happiness, which is fine, as long as you do it
properly. The main point, though, he wasn't able to speak to me
throughout much because he was very busy managing the whole
thing. He, he was just so happy when, you know, when I made some
to leave, he called me up afterwards, he goes, I'm really
glad you came and so on, because then I could realize that he
thought I wasn't going to come, right. But the fact that I went
made him so happy. And then when you feel that you've just put
happiness into the heart of somebody, I mean, you feel even
happier, right? And you just, as long as you're thinking about
Allah, subhanaw, taala, and all of these things, all of that becomes
reward for you. Otherwise, if you went there, if I went there
thinking, you know, I have to go, otherwise, it's going to look
really bad. They're going to not come to my you know, functions
afterwards. If I don't go and all the rest of it, then literally,
I've wasted my 60 pounds, 70 pounds, 8090 100 pounds, whatever,
I wasted my time, I wasted everything, right, and I haven't
got any reward on top of it. And I've just wasted my day and my
money went as well. What's the point? What a bad investment. So
always when you're doing these things, think of a good
investment. Do it for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala. And
sometimes, you know, if we don't know this hadith, like many of us
may have not known this hadith is such a powerful Hadith, right from
Bukhari and Muslim, if we don't know this hadith, and it's going
to be more difficult. Now, you might be wondering that our
decrees are written, you know, it's everything is predestined. So
how do you get, you know, how do you get longer life? Right? Well,
there are, there are two types of destiny. One are those things
which are fixed by Allah subhanaw taala. And they don't change.
There's other things which Allah knows what we're going to do. But
he has left it to the angels as two options. And the humans have
two options as well. Right in terms of in front of them, can I
go or not go, we have the Hadith in front of us that if you go to
your relative, and to visit them and to share in their happiness,
this is the kind of reward you will get. If you if you do that
you will get an extension in you know, you'll get to three years
more or you will get a better quality, you know, in the years
that you already have. If you don't go you won't get it. Now the
inches don't know what you're going to do. But there are these
two options, right in what they know and what they're writing. So
when you take this option, then all the options based on that will
open up otherwise it'd be the other side but Allah in His
eternal knowledge, he knows anyway, he knows all of these
things from before. So it doesn't affect doctor because Allah knows
what we're going to do because he has eternal knowledge of what
we're going to do. So it doesn't now
it could it could, or LM, I mentioned that you could actually
mean, you will get an additional few years, or in which, which
means a quantitative, a quantitative increase, right in
quantity. Or it could mean it's quantitative and qualitative,
which means that you get an extra few years or you don't get extra
few years, but in the years you do get they just seem longer, right?
Not long winded, but longer, where you feel you have more Baraka that
the time doesn't go too fast, and you achieve much more in that
time, which makes you happy and glad, because at the end of the
day, it's the feeling if somebody has only lived in this world for
10 years, you know, 50 years, for example, and they've had a great
life. You know, the prophets of Allah Psalm didn't live till 80.
There's so many scholars of those that lifted 80 and even 90, right,
the prophets, Allah some only lived into 63 years, but fulfilled
life, and he wanted them to go to Allah subhanahu wa taala, right.
So at the end of the day, it's all about how Allah will make our life
by the actions that we do in this world. It's not about how long we
will actually live. Because if you've got a lonely life with
misery, last 20 years are spent on a bed where you can't move around
properly, you know, where you have to wait it upon where you have to
be treated by nurses and your family members constantly. You
can't make wudu Subhanallah you know, I get questions like this
all the time. I can't you know, my mother can't do this. My father
can't do this. And that's why our elders they do are constantly is
oh Allah give me strength. And don't make me in need of anybody.
Don't make me Mataji don't make me needy for anybody make keep the
independent until until we pass away. May Allah give us Sophie in
our life. May Allah subhanaw taala give us Tofik. In, in fulfilling
these kinds of actions, they seem insignificant. They seem, you
know, we overlook them, we think what's the big deal? Right? They
don't come to our house, we're not going to go to the house, you
should never think like that. I have so many relatives, they may
have not come to my house so frequently, right, because of my
busy schedule. But I will make it and I will make it.
I will definitely go there. If I haven't been able to go there.
It's because of time. But I will never not go to somebody's house,
because they haven't come to my house. In fact, I don't care
whether they come to my house or not. Right? I'm not going to
second guess them. I'm not going to think why aren't they coming?
They could have their reasons they might be busy, they just might not
have time, right? Because when you're when you when you get a big
family, right, you know, when you're on second third generation,
and then you've got about 50, you know, 50 members in the family?
How can you visit everybody so often, right? So I don't really
care if somebody visits me or not. But I want to make it an option
that when I have the time, I will go. So if I'm not going it's
actually because I haven't had the time and I've just been too busy.
But it's not because they haven't come to my house, for example, you
should never make it like that. Because the Promise of Allah some
said, whoever is only tying the knots of kinship and doing well
and interacting well with the relatives, because they've been
good to them. And because they've acted good, then you're just
you're just it's just for tat. You're just reciprocating the real
person who gets the reward for Scylla to Ron, which means to tie
the knots of kinship. And all of these benefits is the one who even
if they are not very good with you, you're still good with them,
and you will make an effort to go there. Right? Obviously, it needs
to happen from both sides. But we should always try to be on the
higher side that we should try to do the extra good, even if they
don't do the good. May Allah subhanaw taala give us a Tofik to
do this. And may Allah give us Baraka in our lives and our
sustenance and our provision and keep us happy and glad because
believe me there is a problem in the world. And subhanAllah maybe
this is one of the reasons that people are their families are
breaking down, you know, and there's problems people aren't
good with their neighbors, there are so many issues that we look
around us and you hear that this brother is not talking to that
brother. I'm hearing that left, right and center. And that has an
effect. It has an impact, even though we think it's
insignificant. We may be very happy with just being with our
friends. But really that has an impact that we're not good with
our our relatives and they're not good with us. We need to try to
sort that out somehow. We need to have the bigger heart to Sodaro
May Allah give us a Tofik that run until Hamdu lillahi rabbil
aalameen
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