Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – The Harms of Jealousy (Hasad)
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I want to speak about the concept of hazard. I want to speak about
the concept of envy, jealousy hassad. And I think that's a very
important topic because it's something that could, it's
something that is really consuming people with a lot of internal
rage, which sometimes is expressed outwardly. And it causes a lot of
problems, and it causes great misery. And I don't know if you've
ever experienced any kind of hassle or jealousy, but you
understand what that gets you into, you know, this kind of
jealousy, what it gets you into. And I think what we want to speak
quickly about today is what jealousy does and how we can try
to avoid it, how we can cure ourselves of this extreme jealousy
or envy that some people may feel. So I'm going to mention to Imam
Malawi's definition, Imam mahalo his definition of hassad is very,
very interesting. He says it's in order to survive in Amity law he
Tada. It's a rather to the word in Amity Allahu taala. And Adam Mala
houfy His Salam Bini Yun o dunya, Ian, mean radiant dollar in
Philadelphia. Oh other meteorite that he will surely ha ha he. What
it means is, he says that it's the intention, the desire to have
something removed from another person which is considered a
bounty of Allah. So somebody else possesses something that is the
bounty of Allah subhanho wa taala. The intention is that the hazard
means that you want that removed from them, that bounty removed
from them. And whereas that thing is of benefit to this person from
a worldly or a augury, sense, worldly or other worldly sense. So
what we're saying is that Allah has bestowed somebody with either
some very great worldly bounties which hasn't been given to the
other person or may have been given to another person, or it's
a, it's a religious piety, which is related to the Hereafter. And
this thing is not detrimental to them. Because what that means is
that sometimes a person may be committing a haram, or may have
may have these particular friends which he is very proud of what
she's very proud of, that is actually haram but she or he
considers this to be a bounty that Oh, I'm so lucky, I've got this
type of friends, or I'm so lucky, I've got membership into this
particular type of club, I'm so lucky that I've got this
particular type of job and it could be completely haram job.
Right. So in that sense, it's not really a bounty in reality, it's a
bounty only according to what that person thinks that they've got. So
that's, that's the difference. However, if somebody has a NEMA
from Allah, some, some great gift from Allah subhanaw taala, whether
that means, you know, a good dress, whether that means a good
car, whether that means a nice handbag, whether that means
somebody being very beautiful, whether that means somebody having
a nice husband, or a nice wife, you know, or whatever or nice
children a good job, whatever the case is, and this other person is
desiring that why did that other person, why does that other person
have that it should be removed from that person? Right? Or that
the person is very pious, very religious, they are able to make
the hedging, they mashallah able to benefit a lot of people, maybe
they write a lot of,
they write a lot and benefit people, maybe they are, maybe they
are a good teacher, maybe they run a school, maybe they run a Madras
or maybe they run a poor person's, you know, home, maybe they're
doing relief work, whatever the work is, you know, something to do
with the akhira that has no detriment for that person. But
this person sits back and just desires that it be removed from
that person. Now, that is what you call hassad, jealousy or negative
envy. That's what is really problematic, right? Just this
desire that that person, why have they got that issue, he should not
have it.
Now, there's a there's an issue here, that sometimes this kind of
thought may creep into the heart,
about this, when you see somebody with shaytaan, will bring a notion
of it will pierce the heart with with that notion. Now, there's
nothing wrong with that, because that's something we don't have
control over that some thought comes into our heart. The problem
will be if we keep continue to entertain, and sustain that
thought, and then act upon it. However, if the thought comes into
the heart, and we feel Hey, I shouldn't be thinking like this,
La hawla wala Quwata illa biLlah I should not be thinking like this,
then there's absolutely nothing wrong with that kind of thought,
according to all the scholars, because it's involuntary to get
those thoughts. But it's a voluntary thing, whether we
persist in those thoughts and build them up or not. So we should
just take it out completely.
The other thing is that if the thought occurs in the heart and
then we act upon it, then that is clearly wrong, which means that
If it becomes manifest in any of our limbs, that we then maybe put
the other person down, we kind of make an indication with our eyes,
we turn our nose up, right? We turn our mouth up, we curse them,
we say something bad about them, we make a gesture with our hands
or whatever the case is that all of that would become haram, for
hassad, who haram and Bill it if that's what the author says. He
says that that would be considered to be completely haram, and
impermissible. However, if it comes into the heart, but a person
doesn't act upon it, and no effect of it comes outside, it's just an
internal thought. It's just something you keep thinking in
your mind. But you don't do anything with it outside.
Then is that haram or not, there's a bit of a difference of opinion
as to whether it's a bad thing completely, because eventually it
could over overflow and come out and express itself when you get
really angry. But is that particular is it haram or less
than haram. So that's what the discussion, that's what the
discussion is, according to manga Zanni, he says that this is also
Haram as well, because it's going to lead to a haram if you continue
to persist on that. So that's why you must dispel this kind of
thought from your heart.
There's another level now, if somebody has all of these good
things, or whatever, right, a friend of yours, or a cousin of
yours, or a brother or sister of yours, and Subhanallah, this
happens between sisters, it happens between brothers,
sometimes somebody makes it lucky. So then they get jealous of the
other one, right, or the other one gets jealous. And it's really a
sad case, it breaks families, especially when it comes out into
the open, when the person does something when you say something
about it. Now, I love how he mentions that if you see something
on someone, but you do not intend that it be removed from that
person. So you don't think of it negatively, in the sense that you
see it, you you you register in your mind that oh, that person has
this, but you don't want it to be removed from that person. You just
think that may Allah subhanaw taala give me such a thing as
well, may Allah subhanaw taala give me such a thing as well.
Well, that then is not negative envy. And that is actually then
called positive envy, which you in Arabic is called ELLIPTA or 10.
Alphas when alpha is called Victor or when alpha which means it's,
it's called positive envy, or a call, or a positive competitive
spirit. It's a positive competitive spirit. And that will
not be haram. In fact, that would be it depends on what it's about.
But if it's about other worldly things, which means if it's about
our hero, if it's about something good that the other person is
doing that's religious, then it's actually going to be most apt to
think that way, that if you see somebody doing great work, it's
good to be encouraged by that. And to feel I wish I could do that as
well. Because only when you actually have that desire that you
want to be like the other person and have that high him when you
actually may, and you know that you may actually end up doing such
a thing. If you see somebody else doing it, and you just kind of
look aside and you don't entertain you for yourself, that means you
got to know him. Whenever we see something, somebody's doing
better, that's like ourselves, but they're doing something great,
mashallah, we should that should raise our him our aspirations.
That's how things work in this world, it should raise our
aspirations. And we should desire to do that. And we should think
May Allah subhanaw taala, allow me to do that as well. And that is,
that is positive envy, or a positive idli competitive spirit
where there's nothing wrong with it.
Know, if it's about the world, if they have something of the world,
a nice dress, or whatever the case is, and we start desiring that as
well, then that's where we have to be careful because now we're using
that to desire the world. We're supposed to look at others and
learn for ourselves, not to see others with something great and
then learn because that's why the prophets Allah, some said that
when you are looking around, you should look at people who who are
below you in the world so that you're thankful to Allah subhanaw
taala. If you look at people who are above you in the world, in the
sense that they've got something better than you, then you will
also desire to get to that level. And that's the way it happens. I
mean, you see, in certain families, the reason why the whole
family will eventually become a certain way is that one person
start something of the cousins, the family, the brothers, the
sisters, you know, and others will see them doing that, they'll also
want to do that, because there's a very competitive spirit,
especially in family, then it comes into communities. And you
see, there'll be some entire other communities who might have a lot
of money, but they don't express that money in the same way. So you
know, for example, you've got a certain family, they might have a
lot of money, but they don't go around showing off with that
money. And yet there's another family who's also got some amount
of money but you can see the money on them. Right? It's because it's
just kind of filtered through to everybody is through this the
nervous descriptor, and it's not normally always praiseworthy,
because it's normally done where you're desiring the other thing to
be like them in this world and there's no benefit, although it's
not haram to do that. Right. But it's it can lead to greed for this
world and desire so that that is a difficult as
Fact, it's a problematic aspect. So one needs to be careful about
that.
Now, thirdly, the third option here is that somebody has a
particular benefit that they think or a bounty that they think is a
bounty for them. So they're very happy about it. Maybe somebody is
dating someone else, you know, like, somebody, if you're talking
about to the school crowd, right? Or college crowd, you've got a
friend who is dating this guy, right? You've got to be you know,
you've got a friend who's dating this guy. Or if you're talking to
men, you know, you're dating this really great girl, or whatever it
is, you know, there's really beautiful looking girl, or
whatever the case is, right?
They the person who's involved in that is going to be thinking that
they're very successful, that they're very lucky that they're
very fortunate, and that they've got a bounty because they, you
know, the whole reason they're doing this is because they enjoy
doing it. And they think it's halal to do it. Or maybe they
don't think it's allowed to do it. But maybe they think it's
something they need to do. Now, if you're going to,
if somebody is jealous of that, in the sense that for the benefit of
the other person for the sake of the salvation of the other person
you make the other may Allah subhanaw taala. Remove that haram,
the unlawfulness from that, make it halal for them, or may Allah
subhanaw taala make the remove the unlawfulness from the prohibition,
the his prohibited action, or her prohibited action? Well, let's
take another example. Somebody is involved in selling drugs and they
think may I'm making lots of money, right? They're involving
selling haram stuff. And they're thinking that because they make
lots of money, it's a great thing from Allah, it's a great thing
that they've got this, you want that removed from them. Right. So
in this case, it kind of seems to fit half of the definition of
hazard that we did in the beginning, the desire to remove
something, a bounty from another person. Now the thing here is that
in reality is not a bounty. It's a punishment from Allah subhanaw
taala. And to desire that certain things, these haram acts that
people do should be removed from them. That is obviously not
hazard. In fact, that's a good thought in the heart. That's a
good point in the heart. How do you get removed? How do you remove
hazard? That's very important, because I'm sure we all experience
a level of hazard at one time or another. And some people probably
a sitting here thinking about all the people that have hustled over,
you know, their sister in law, for example, just because she's got
the latest phone, you're gonna go and bug your husband because I
want the latest phone as well. And you have one case where all the
women in a community well, not all the women, but there's in his
group in the community that used to hang out together, they all
started buying these Mercedes SUVs, because one particular woman
her husband had bought her and this was in America, her husband
had bought her one of these Mercedes SUVs, what are they? What
What series is that?
Is that kind of stuff, right? The Jeep kind of, they bought one. So
then, you know, the other one, she started pestering her husband, so
he bought one and then the third one. And eventually it's like,
those who could buy it, they bought it. The other ones, they
were feeling really bad and gutted about it. Right. So it's really a
problematic thing. And if we've got this kind of hassle in our
mind, we really need to deal with it because the punishment is ours.
The whole thing about this is that there are some major problems, all
of the what if we focus on the calamities,
if we focus on the calamities, of having hassad harboring envy,
jealousy about somebody, then you will realize that it's not worth
it, you will we will actually make amends to change it. For example,
there are a number of calamities related about it. One is if Saudi
if saddled target, which means it will corrupt your a bada. And the
reason the way it will corrupt your Abba, you will be fasting and
you have these thoughts about jealousy, you'll have these
thoughts about this other person is going to corrupt your fast,
you're going to be making solid, you may see the other person will
come to your house, your hospitality to them is going to be
it's all going to be messed up. Right. So any a bad that you do
because of this thought that will adulterate and pollute this mind
and your mind, it will it will spoil your worship. Number two,
the feeling will could eventually erupt into the commissioning of a
haram Act. Which means you may go on scratch the other person's car,
you may tear the dress of that person, you may throw the handbag
down when they're not looking right to make it seem like an
accident, but you're just doing it out of great spite, you may say
something about them, you may end up in the butt about them, you may
end up in making a false false accusation against them just
because you want to hurt them you want the thing to be removed and
so now it will express in all these different ways.
Because normally what the ruler mentioned from experience is that
normally a hassad has it is a person who's envious like this
negatively. He is hardly free of doing the job or making up a lie
or swearing at the other person or if there is any calamity that
befalls the other person that he is. He is or she is envious about
if some calamity befalls them. This person is going to rejoice
the person is going to get very happy that the calamity is is on
on that person, so they're going to be really happy about it. And
all of these things are considered haram. Number three,
a person who is envious like this they are they are deprived from
intercession on the Day of Judgment. Because when they're not
willing to allow somebody else to live in the way Allah has made
them, then why should Allah subhanaw taala forgive this person
and give them an extra boost? Because what is hassad? What we're
complaining about? We're complaining about what Allah has
decided to give someone else. So although we're complaining about
that person, because we don't like that person for having that thing.
We're saying, we're complaining against Allah, why did you give
that person nothing?
It's though Allah doesn't know you think he's that person is not
deserving of it. So you're trying to tell Allah I know he's not
deserving. Why do you think he's deserving of it? So that's a major
problem. That's why the intercession will will not be
accepted. Number two, sorry, number four, the whole not mean
really hisab Now this word is scary. The person will enter
Hellfire without questioning.
Now, we've constantly heard about people entering paradise without
questioning, which is a great thing. But this one is you will be
entered into the Hellfire without questioning without reckoning.
What that means is before the reckoning takes place on the Day
of Judgment, after which is decided whether a person has bet
more good deeds or bad deeds, and then is decided whether they go to
the right or to the left of paradise or hellfire. These people
who has it in their punishment to make it even more severe is that
they will be taken from the gathering place the measure before
the reckoning even takes place before any questioning is taking
place and will be thrown into the hellfire. So it's the absolute
opposite of being put into the paradise with a fast ticket. Right
without questioning. This is like a fast ticket to help before even
questioning that is scary. And that's that's mentioned
in a hadith that's related by Imam de la me from Abdullah Hebner,
Omar and UNASUR, the Allahu Anhu. They both relate to allah
sallallahu sallam said, there will be six types of people that will
enter the Hellfire before the hisab before the reckoning by one
year. So one year in advance, they'll be saying, they'll say,
Look, you guys, you guys are just out of here. Right? You guys are
going to help ya Sula. They said, right. Somebody said Who are these
people? And they said, and O'Meara Erbil June, those leaders, those
amuse the leaders, elected individuals, whoever they are,
that that give the command the Haram that command Dolman
oppression. Number Number two is the Arabs for any prejudice that
they may hold against non Arabs, for example, then wealthy people
who are arrogant with their wealth. That's the third type of
people to djaro We'll hear Anna, which means traders who are
untrustworthy non trustworthy traders who deceive in in in their
business. And Laura starkel kura will gel many people from villages
because of the ignorance why didn't they go and learn? Why
didn't they study the deen and so on will earn them out who will
hazard and the scholars for the envy that they have. Because when
you see another scholar who's being invited for lectures or
talks, or people are really talking about them, and people are
speaking about them, maybe being very hospitable to them, you know,
being very nice to them and respecting them honoring them, you
feel hazard? Why does he have that? Why don't I have that?
Right? It's completely fine to think that may Allah subhanaw
taala give me the Tofig also to benefit as many people not that I
want. You know, it's not a good thought to think I want to also be
respected that way. Because then that becomes personal as opposed
to for the dean. So that's the Hadith that's based upon. And
Number
Number four, it it leads to harming somebody else. So what is
the thoughts in the heart and everything that you do, but the
other one is that also leads to harming the other person? Because
Allah subhanaw taala actually told us in the Quran, in Surah Surah
doneness a woman shall be hostile Canada, local, provincial, and
further to the local domain surely has seen either hazard or actually
in order to follow up, women shall be hassled in either hazard. And I
seek refuge in Allah, the Lord from the hassad. From the envious
one, when he exercises his, his, his his ended his envy. What that
means is that as long as the Envy is within the person who doesn't
exercise, it doesn't do anything with it. It's not going to be
harmful to anybody, but you really want to be protected once the
person starts acting upon it, because it is such an internal
rage that it sees no, it's in discriminating. Right?
Okay, and number six is it's going to exhaust you. It's going to wear
you out, it's going to stress you out, it's going to exhaust you
without any favor. You're not going to get any further by this
internal nagging and this feeling in the heart. In fact, aside from
getting any benefits, what it's going to give you is this going to
give you sin. So all of these bad
thoughts and what may come after that, you know, put in an
expression, it's going to lead to sin and disobedience, and there's
going to be no benefit. And at the same time you're being tired out,
you're being totally fatigued by it, you know, it's okay to be
fatigued by work to earn some money, you're getting something at
the end of it, but this one is for free. And it's personal, it's
nothing to do with anybody else. And Number Number seven, the realm
I mentioned, is
it will blind the heart to such a degree, that the person will
become so confused even about what's halal and haram, because
the internal rage of it is so strong that a person loses their
mind and their balance, and it leads to that, that they will do
things that they would never have dreamt of doing, had they been in
a sane, sane mind, and number eight, it will it will lead to
deprivation in this world, because it leads to non function, non
functional confusion, and so on, you will not gain success in the
world, because you will be so consumed by something that you
should not even be consumed about that is going to occupy your
entire time, you will become forsaken people will start looking
at you and thinking that you know you're just in another world and
so on. And it will, you won't be able to fight against your
enemies, your real enemies, right. And that's why it says L has sued
ly sued, which means the envious person never becomes a leader,
because they just don't have the mental capacity or capability
anymore to do it. Because what they do will be maybe just for a
short time, they may have some successes, but then after that
they lose everything. The way to deal with it
is for us to recognize this is the enlarge this is the cure the
treatment is for us to realize that hazard has a great amount of
harm in the world. And in terms of our deem, and there is no, there
is no detriment unless you expose it, there is no detriment for the
person you're actually envious about the person is doing their
work. And you know, you're getting angry about it. In fact, the other
person doesn't even know that you may be jealous of them, they're
actually benefiting from it, even though they don't even know what's
going on. The reason why they're benefiting from it is that they're
getting all your rewards, right? They're getting all your awards
about it.
And the reason for that is because because of your because of a
person's hazard, you have actually enraged Allah subhanaw taala by
trying to tell him that what you've done is wrong. So he's
going to be very angry, right of the way he because you're
complaining about the way he has distributed His bounties in the
world, right?
The opposite of it should be nice and Naseeha.
So when you have this constant feeling of wishing well for
someone, Goodwill for someone that will take away the hassle from a
person's heart, and the way to do that is when you feel hazard about
somebody go and make the offer them. Like as soon as you feel
hazard that somebody has this good thing or whatever you just make to
offer them may Allah subhanaw taala give them more, that will be
very difficult to make. But believe me, once you do that, it
removes the problem.
Because it's about struggling with the heart, it's a heart problem.
It's a it's literally a psychological problem, a spiritual
problem. And once you start doing the opposite, that's the way to
deal with it. That's why they're LM I mentioned that it's similar
things like this, that if you're very if you're very miserly person
you can't spend go and spend on somebody go and spend in the path
of Allah subhanho wa Taala and you will see that it will open up your
heart. So if you find it very difficult to spend 50 pounds, or
sorry, five pounds even right or $10 in the path of Allah subhanaw
taala go and spend 20 go and spend 50 Spend 10 times the amount once
as a treatment, pretend you're paying a doctor for a treatment,
pretend you're going to a specialist and pay that amount of
money in the path of Allah subhanho wa Taala go if your
friends are always treating you and you can't treat anybody else
the promise the law said we're at a good time, right feed people,
right? If you if you can't do that, but one day just invite
everybody and do that and you will see that inshallah it will it will
remove it will remove this problem. Otherwise it will consume
our hearts and it is extremely detrimental. And it's absolutely
worthless because we don't get any benefit out of it. The other
person actually gets all the benefit. If we get anything it's
harm, psychological torture, problem, depression, and all the
rest of it. May Allah subhanaw taala give us the trophy to
understand purify, cure, cure ourselves of this problem.