Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – The Curse of being Hard Hearted
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For example, we're driving and we just let somebody go past, letting
go pass. It's okay. We've gone in and it's a small lane, because
it's coming from that side. Okay, I'll reverse a bit. I'll let you
go.
That could be accepted that could be the one accepted act of ours.
But now we have to assert ourselves. These guys always do
that. We need to push them to the side.
It's a different way of thinking Allah Allah give us a softer way
of thinking.
hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala and Maga Ruthie
Ramadan, EULA al Amin, or either early he was Safi or Baraka was
seldom at the Sleeman Caffee Ron Ely, Amin, Dean
Hamdulillah. Moving away from yesterday's discussion, we want to
discuss two subjects today quickly inshallah. The first subject is
severity and hard, hard heartedness. For a person to be
hard hearted. How is that looked on in the shadow yards? So there
was a scholar of about 150 years ago, he wrote about this, his name
was Imam Nanda, he, he said, another
rung is to be severe, is severity in Arabic, you call that Favara?
For those who understand Arabic,
is called severity and real vocal, which means hard heartedness.
Allah says
regarding the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, but couldn't
have been really vocal vielen fog do mean how thick
the reason the Prophet sallallahu angiosperms personality was like a
magnet. People stayed around him.
They began to love him.
They
stayed with him, they became his supporters, and they were willing
to sacrifice themselves for him because of that very special
personality that he had. So Allah subhanho wa Taala discusses this
in the Quran.
Surah Allah mo Imran verse 159. While couldn't the father rally
evil called Lanford doom in Holic had you been severe and hard
hearted?
They would certainly have dispersed from around you, they
would not have stayed with you, they would have gone from you.
Hard heartedness doesn't work.
Softness is very important. The opposite of hard heartedness. The
opposite of it is soft heartedness, gentleness, merciful
nature, compassionate nature. Meaning that
what you understand from somebody who's going to be gentle, and
merciful and compassionate as well, not just gentle but merciful
and compassionate. Chef cut one, as they say no do is that they
wish they would be directing their efforts towards alleviating
people's struggles. They're always focused on
loss MOC, but Dakka Dakka
alleviating people's struggles.
There's a hadith that Imam Abu Huraira the Allah one reports from
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
whoever is not merciful is not shown mercy. Whoever themselves
are not merciful on others, Allah does not show them mercy and
others probably will not show them mercy as well. Hadith of related
by Imam Bukhari and Imam Muslim. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam also said and this is the very scary one, this is what
scares me a lot. Mercy is not removed except from the damned
one. The only person from whom mercy will be removed will be the
damned person that means somebody who is far from the Mercy of Allah
subhana wa Tada.
So the damned so mercy usually only gets pulled away so the
person doesn't have mercy from usually the person who is maroon
is damned first. This is a Hadith of Imam Timothy
Imam Najib Medina, Lizzie in one of his books, he says, One of
shaytans traits. One of shaytans Seyfarth is harshness, and lack of
mercy, lack of compassion
is that all of these are Satanic traits. Allah has prohibited them
and He wants you to have the opposite of them.
We don't like to be treated with hardness and harshness, why should
we treat others with hardness? Now, some of us are naturally
harsh
because it's in our genetics. Our father was like that. Maybe our
mother was like that. Our grandfather was like that. It runs
in the family
Should you be proud of that? Unfortunately, some people are MSA
logo
I'm Amara hon. Satya,
you know, take it as it is,
you know I'm pushing the car sector. We can't do anything.
This is how we are you have to deal with us.
Some people are very proud of it. They don't try to change.
The way to deal with that is just think, how do we want Allah
subhanaw taala treat us? Do we also want him to be hard with us.
If Allah is hard with anybody, they won't survive. Because even
if you fulfill all of our obligations, all namaz fasting,
everything is fulfilled. Allah will check everything was your
namaz 100% Was your Rosa, your fasting 100%.
And there will be some shortcoming some look sign in there some
shortcoming in there, and then he'll start to take us to account.
You did not do solid according to the level
that was required of you. So I'm not going to give you the reward
of this. What are you going to do them?
That's why a lot of the time we feel like we want to be hard with
somebody. Just remember, yeah, Allah.
I don't want Allah to be hard with me. So let me tone it down. It's
tough. When a person is hard by nature that is tough. It's a
challenge. But that's a challenge that we have some people are
stingy, by nature, some people are angry by nature. Some people are
too laid back by nature. Everybody has a challenge, we have to
overcome that. We have to surmount that. So then he says the author
says the human must deal mercifully with all of Allah's
creation.
Imam Hassan Rahmatullah here, Ali, the one who we were discussing
yesterday, his book, this is not his book, but he wants was seen in
a dream after he died, he was seen in a dream.
And somebody asked him, the person who saw him in a dream asked him,
What did Allah do with you know, Imam Ghazali has
major scholar, he has written so many books, and so many people
have benefited from him,
in many fields, philosophy and spirituality and jurisprudence,
and logic and so many different fields. So you expect that he's
going to be forgiven, right? So somebody asked him, What did Allah
do with you? He replied, Allah made me stand in front of him. And
then he asked me, What did you come to me with? What have you
brought?
What are you carrying with you for your success and your salvation.
So I mentioned all sorts of righteous deeds, I prayed this
much in our film. And in Desmond sadaqa, I did this medical, and so
on and so forth. He replied, I accept none of them.
I don't accept any of them. However, one day, Chi Chi IG,
let's never, you know, consider insignificant entities. One day
you sat down to write
like Nikola variegated, and a fly landed on your pen. Now remember,
in those days, you had the pens made out of bamboo or read or
something and you had to dip them into the ink that the a nice
amount of ink on there. So instead, a fly came and sat landed
on your pen, and you just left it there, so that he could drink from
the ink out of mercy. In those days, by the way, the ink used to
be natural, there were no chemicals. So it's pretty good.
Maybe a mirror or some kind of charcoal and mixture. So you know,
it wasn't
you know, being cruel to animals. Today, the ink I don't know what's
inside there. So you have to be careful with things. Your flight
stops drinking, like, right. But anyway, he said, out of mercy for
it, you let it drink. So just as you showed mercy to the fly, I
shall to show mercy to you go forth for I have forgiven you. Out
of all of his actions. This is the accepted one. And he probably
didn't think much of it. I thought, Okay, so let let it drink
for us. I'm not in a hurry. And he just did that. For example, we're
driving and we just let somebody go past. Let him go past. It's
okay. We've gone in and it's a small lane wasn't coming from that
side. Okay, I'll reverse a bit. I'll let you go.
That could be accepted. That could be the one accepted act of ours.
But now we have to assert ourselves. These guys always do
that. We need to push them to the side. You know, it's a different
way of thinking a lot. Allah give us a softer way of thinking. So
that's what, that's what he said.
Allahu Akbar.
Now,
there's another idea, another word in Arabic called Photo photo. It's
called it's
bit of a complicated in the spiritual chivalry.
What does that mean? It's similar to what we've been speaking about
the basis of chivalry.
I think in order we call it moral worth,
this dignified worker gets out because he gets out page is that
kind of a meaning, right? For those who understand who the basis
of this for is for the servant to be at all times concerned with and
devoted to the welfare of others. There's this concern that how can
I help somebody else? How can I do some even if you're sitting in the
train and you see somebody who might need to sit down your
concern can chalet put them down instead, you know, can I let them
sit down instead?
Based on the Hadith, there's a hadith Sahih Muslim which says,
Allah is in the aid of the servant as long as as the servant is in
the aid of his fellow men.
As long as we are trying to do the hikma and assistance of somebody
else, Allah is constantly going to be doing our service, meaning he's
going to help us. So that's the beauty, okay, if I help him, Allah
is gonna help me, Allah as they're helping me when I help this guy.
It's an amazing way to think it's a if we can change that. That's
Hadith sahih. Muslim, with this ethic at its foundation. This
should express itself in multiple ways, giving different examples.
Number one, if you want to feel this way, then you can't feel
superior to others.
If you feel superior to others Middlesboro, then you're not going
to want to help them. Or you're going to help them with the wrong
kind of thing in mind.
So you can't see yourself superior to others. Number two, you should
let people exact justice from yourself, but not for yourself. So
we should give all justice, we should be just so there should be
nothing against us. If if somebody owes us well, we have to be
tolerant in that regard. Because sometimes it's too much of a
hassle to get justice. Sometimes you just leave it for the sake of
honor. For the sake of honor, stopping yourself from harming or
annoying anyone.
That's easy. But it's not easy. But for people who are used to
annoying people and it's not easy.
A little joke is understandable, both to annoy somebody and to harm
somebody stopping oneself from doing that once our shame because
the money is on Matala. And he said we asked him for some advice
before the end of the term. It was the last day of the class. He said
try to make it that nobody is harmed by you.
As he Koshish karakia kisi ko Oksana Bucha
nobody you can't you don't harm anybody make an effort. If it
happens accidentally, you can apologize.
Another one he says is
spending from your generosity and your magnanimity. You're so
Howard's spending from that to not make a profit from your friends.
From your friends, you don't make a profit.
So you help your friends out. If you're a businessman or something
you help them out, you give them a discount.
The next one to veil to veil the faults of your brethren.
To keep them hidden to not reveal them to others. Especially if
those faults will cause joy to their enemies then you have to be
even more careful.
The next one, do not hide or run away when someone comes to you
asking for help.
To not hide or run away.
When somebody comes to ask for help, for example, you've just
gotten home you're very tired.
You're hungry.
And then your neighbor says can you give me a jump please? My My
battery's gone. Like if I do that, it's going to take 15 minutes. I'm
hungry.
You have you have cables, you have everything.
So maybe you could say let me go and have some money. And we want
to have some water. Let me have a drink or something and come back
oh, here's the cables just set it up. I'll be coming or something
like that. It's just easier sometimes to say sorry, I don't
have cable.
Right? It's just easier to say that. But that would be lying as
well.
So he's saying to not run or hide when somebody comes to you asking
for help. To do not discriminate between people overlook the flaws
of others.
And at the bottom of it just be gracious and have beauty
Civil character
there's a story which is related.
A man wants married a woman.
who, when, when he finally when she uncovered on their wedding
night, on the first night, she revealed that she had smallpox.
He didn't know that from before she revealed that she had
smallpox. So what should you do now? You conned me. He didn't tell
me before. Should you say that? Well, I don't know. Let's see what
he said. The man said,
Sorry, something's wrong with my eyes.
Now, this is a bit extreme. It sounds right. Something's wrong
with my eyes. Then after some time, he said, I've gone blind.
So she moved in with him. And they remain married until she died 20
years later.
This is a bit extreme. He then opened his eyes to regain sight.
He pretended to be blind all this time.
I don't know if this is a mythical story or a true story. But if it's
a true story that's obviously shows an extreme state of sober
and patients. After she died, he opened his eyes. And when he was
asked, like, how did you get your sight back, he said, I will never
went blind. I only pretended to be blind, just so she would not be
saddened.
Now, nobody's telling you to go that far.
Nobody's saying you need to go that far. But at least the small
issues that for a man that women does, right? Just too stubborn.
Because nobody's perfect.
And I've got one way to find out whether you've got a healthy
marriage or not, or whether you need to work on improving, simple,
simple test. Do you know what the test is?
Very simple test. Do you get upset if your spouse gets upset?
So if I'm talking to the men, if your wife gets upset, do you get
upset that she's upset?
If you get upset, that she's upset, and it makes you upset,
then you will not get her upset. And if she is upset, then you will
try to make her not upset. That's a healthy, that's a healthy
relationship. If you
do don't get upset when she gets upset,
or you actually get happy if she gets upset, then this is a big
problem in the marriage.
I actually met mentioned this somewhere in another country, in a
quite a large crowd. And this older man came to me after he
said, Why did you say that? for that? You should not say I was in
a hurry. So I didn't have time to ask like why not? But it looks
like I might have caused a bit of problem. Because you just realized
that hey, my marriage isn't as it should be.
But that's the way to check the health of a marriage. That if I'm
upset that my wife is upset, I won't get her upset. And if by
mistake I get upset, I will apologize. Because it makes me
upset. Why should I get myself upset? If she's upset?
That's how the relationship should be. So
then somebody told this person you have done out done all other
people in this field, like semana 20 years you acted blind, I don't
know if outside used to what he used to do. But Subhan Allah
that's once has been busted after learning. He had mice in his
house.
He had mice in his house. He tried everything to get rid of them.
Won't get rid of them. Somebody said get a cat. Tom and Jerry. Get
a tom. So the Jerry runs away.
He said no, no, I can't get a cat because when the cat comes, the
mice will get frightened and go to my neighbor's house
and will bother him will bother my neighbor. So I don't want to
bother my neighbor.
Achieve how they think about these things. It might sound very
extreme to us, right? Bilko fab knew well, how are you searching?
Like he thinks like that.
But that's how these that's how these things are. Allah Allah give
us the Tofik remarked about this that if you look at the success of
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam why was he so successful?
So if you look at his whole Syrah
and you to focus that let me think of one point of his success, of
course, Allah subhanaw taala assistance. Allah subhanho wa
Taala stole fique Allah's blessing, no doubt, but besides
that, just from a human perspective, what trait was it
called si se severity absolute loss Amina if we can, there will
be multiple simpatia but if you can say one CIFA one one
attributes of his that you could say that gave him the Cisco
success
They say that the success of the prophetic Syrah corresponds
directly with the vastness and abundance of the prophetic mercy.
This was also and this should be also, Islam's historical success
is strictly speaking, Islam was seen as a place for mercy.
People are struggling to find food in Gaza.
And they're willing to feed their animals, their cat.
People who let the cat die and feed themselves but they're
feeding their cats. It was through the display of mercy and
gentleness
that the scholars melted the hearts of the even the Mongol Qing
old Jay to Han
so that he eventually became a Muslim
and became one of the greatest champions of Islam.
So, Mercy might not show its fruit straightaway. It might even be
seen as a weakness first, or a copout. But that's not what it is.
Ultimately, it will have its benefits.
Because humans are the slaves of mercy.
Humans are the slaves of somebody doing something good for you.
Humans feel obliged. Yes, you do get a few who are completely
ungrateful people who don't care about anybody, but most people are
not like that. May Allah grant us that tofi quite accurate that
weren't Neal hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen
Allahumma into Salam Inca salaam with about theater July very calm.
Yeah. How are you? Yeah. Are you in medical history Thea Hana Yama
and Allah Allah Allah Allah Subhana Allah in Konami Navali
mean just Allah Who and Mohammed Amma who are Hello? Yeah Allah
have mercy on us. Yeah Allah have mercy on the entire on ya Allah
bless us all. Yeah, Allah accept whatever little worships that we
can do. Oh Allah allow us to do many many deeds. Do not allow us
to consider even small deeds to be insignificant to Allah. Allah
Allah Allah bless us abundantly. Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah
bless us abundantly yeah Allah have mercy on our the entire OMA
especially our brothers and sisters who are suffering in
Palestine in Missouri and other places grant them their freedom
and their their respect of Allah grant them the honor of Allah
grant us all mercy for an grant a sole concern and compassion for
others. Grant us religious chivalry of Allah grant us Maru
and decency of Allah grant us Waqar and honor of Allah grant us
self respect of Allah, protect us from hardness and harshness, Yet
Allah protect us from hardness and harshness, especially if it's part
of our tibia. It's part of our nature Allah assist us in
overcoming this fear Allah allow us to correct ourselves and
improve ourselves and enhance ourselves before we die Allah so
that we can die in the best of state to Allah do not allow us to
die in a bad state to Allah protect us from such shyness which
is incorrect, which makes us fail to reveal what Allah subhanaw
taala wants to reveal. Yeah, Allah. Allah assists us in this
regard, protect us and our children. From all of the fit and
challenges which are out there Allah and Allah, Allah grant us
blessing in our entire family and our descendants until the day of
judgment of Allah bless all of those who contribute to this
masjid, who organized these programs, the Imams, yeah Allah,
the committee members, and all those who attend and who support
the misogyny in the various different ways of Allah, whatever
projects this machine our other masajid have, Oh Allah, allow them
to be completed. Allah protect them, remove the obstacles and the
hindrances from their path. And Allah make these truly the stars
for the inhabitants of the heavens to look down and see these places
as illuminated places. Yeah, Allah. Oh Allah accept from all of
us and make this Ramadan more blessed than any Ramadan before it
make us closer to you than we've ever been before Allah and allow
us to remain close to you and to gain the Scheffer out of your
messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So Hannah Baker,
Rob belies that Yamuna, Josefina was salam ala Alamo said, You know
what Hamdulillah.
The point of a lecture is to encourage people to act to get
further an inspiration, and encouragement, persuasion. The
next step is to actually start learning seriously, to read books
to take on a subject of Islam and to understand all the subjects of
Islam at least at the basic level, so that we can become more aware
of what our deen wants from us. And that's why we started Rayyan
courses so that you can actually take organize lectures on demand
whenever you have free time, especially for example, the
Islamic essentials course that we have on the Islamic essentials
certificate which you take 20 Short and
modules and at the end of that insha Allah you will have gotten
the basics of most of the most important topics in Islam and
you'll feel a lot more confident. You don't have to leave lectures
behind you can continue to live, you know to listen to lectures,
but you need to have this more sustained study as well.
JazakAllah Heron salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.