Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – The Absolute Basics of Bringing up Children
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Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim
Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Maga. Ruthie
Ramadan Lila, I mean, while early he was sabe Abba raka was seldom
at the Sleeman Kathira on Eli. Oh Medina Amma Bharat
call Allahu Tabara Kota Allah Quran emoji they will for call
Hamid gamma arson. Fie come Rasool Amin, Camilla through or they
will use a key comb while you are a limo como kita. But when Hikmah
where you are only Macomb taco no Darla moon. So the koala who loves
him. One very important subjects has been
regarding bringing up children in Islam. And I'm sure you've heard
probably lectures about it, lectures have been done about it
as well. I wrote a book on marriage
with after about 20 years of experience with marriage
personally and with dealing with other people's marriage. So people
have been saying you need to write a book on bringing up children,
I'm scared to write a book on children. Because I'm waiting for
my eldest to get married. Before I can say that I've been successful.
Because generally people think they've been successful if they
can get their children married and happily married, and then they're
stable and anything of hamdulillah right. That's what people think.
You get all of these calls from people I've got a daughter she's
not married yet make dua make dua
it's a big responsibility. People recognize that which is good
Hamdulillah.
There's other cultures where you become 18, and you leave home,
then it's up to you, whether you get married or not married, or
then it's all well Hamdulillah, the Muslim community, this is very
important for us. There's a few things that we need to keep in
mind when
bringing up children and what we need to instill in these children.
The first thing
is that we need to try to get the children as they're growing up to
be focused on the right thing.
To have the right kind of mindset to obey Allah subhana wa, tada try
their best to
avoid sins. And that should be within their heart, they may make
mistakes, they may slip up. But that should be in their hearts,
they must have a concept of right and wrong.
Number two, the second thing is that they must have a clock and
character in the way they behave and in the way they speak. So to
avoid bad language, and bad behavior, making strange faces,
joking too much, or being too critical. And the various
different things that could come about now the only way, the best
way to get them to have the best of luck is for us to be able to
try to rectify ourselves. Because
the one category of people that learn by ambulation. And by seeing
someone and by following our children, they actually learn more
by seeing than they lead than they learn by what they hear.
After thorough, we were praying, we are performing taraweeh and
after thorough we will do a DUA, sometimes the door can be a bit
long. So I moved a bit back, and I leaned against the sofa. And
immediately my son who is next to me, who generally doesn't do that,
he also does the same thing.
Now, I can tell him, I'm also maybe it's okay for me, and you
shouldn't do it. But it sounds a bit hypocritical. So then what I
did was I moved a bit forward and stayed like that to the best of my
ability and then told him to fold as well.
Otherwise, it's very difficult. A lot of people have this issue
where they tell their children to do something, that they don't want
to do it themselves. And somehow in their mind, they can do therapy
that way. They can be on a different level and the children
they will expect a higher level, it's very difficult. Because for
for children, the parents are everything.
Right? It's everything. So it's very difficult.
Number three,
that the child
is has compassion for others.
So to remove selfishness, to get them to assist others to be
concerned about others. And again, the only way that's going to
happen is if we show that concern for others. If we're donating tell
the children you know when we donate, tell the children that we
should donate, look at this, what's going on, we're going to
donate this money. Give them something say you donate as well.
Give them the money to donate in the masjid, for example, when
you're going out, give them the money to go and give some food to
someone. That's the only way we can teach them that as well. But
what I want to do for the next two days, is I want to look at this
purely
From the Quran
what does the Quran say about bringing up children.
So just relevant verses of the Quran that's all I want to deal
with. will then in the future, sometime we'll discuss the Hadith.
But he is just from the Quran, Allah subhanaw taala whenever he's
mentioned, regarding bringing up children, when you're talking
about bringing up children, the wording in Arabic, the wedding in
Arabic is the word they use is tarbiyah.
They use a few words when is tarbiyah. Another one is does
gear. So
tarbiyah comes from the concept of you know, Rob bull Alameen. Rob,
that's also from tarbiyah, because the ROB is the one who does
tarbiyah. And Therby essentially means
to get something to reach
the completeness or perfection that is required stage by stage.
So, if you're going to plant a seed, you need to plant it in the
right kind of soil, give the right kind of fertilization, give the
water when it sprouts up. And it emerges, then you look after it,
you water it, you prune it until it reaches the tree that you want
it to reach. What you've just done is tarbiyah that's what you call
tarbiyah. Now, the same thing, if you imagine our children as seeds
that Allah subhanaw taala has given us and we let them grow, we
see to them, we make sure they grow properly. Any person who has
a garden in which he's got maybe good plants, but then he doesn't
look after it. And there's weeds that suddenly start emerging.
There's those weeds, they eventually kill. They kill the
good plants and flowers. So likewise, we can't leave our
children to just grow up like weeds. There needs to be proper
tarbiyah that's done to get them to the right place. That's why
Allah subhanho wa Taala says in Surah to show Ara alumna because
the concept of tarbiyah is used for Pharaoh, where Pharaoh when
Musa Ali Salam went to him afterwards number of Pharaoh had
been
Pharaoh had looked after or allowed Mousavi salaam to be
brought up in the palace. After that I don't want to repeat the
whole story the Messiah was found and brought up in the Pharaoh's
palace and he was the enemy that he'd been warned against, but he
didn't realize. So now. We saw this and then went to Meridian.
And then he finally came back and he was told to free the Bani
Israel. So when he went to Pharaoh Pharaoh said to him, I don't know
Rob Baker fina Walid on Well, EBITDA, fina mean America Seanie.
So he uses the word LM, Nura Baker, fina, didn't we do your
tarbiyah among us? So if you look, a theory says here, aren't you the
one that we looked after, and nurtured in our home, in our
family, using our food, using our lodging and everything like that
for so many years. So that's where you get the concept of tarbiyah to
look at. So bringing up children is not a one day job.
It's not the conjugal relationship act, and then you produce a child
and expect it to grow up. It's not bearing the child but it's
actually then making that child into a man or a woman in a human
being. That's what Allah subhanaw taala. That's why the concept of
tarbiyah is explained in another verse in Surah, Al Baqarah. Now
another word that's used instead of tarbiyah is test gear.
This gear means purification really, from zakat means
purification. You know, that's why when we give our money, it
purifies us and it purifies our wealth. There's a hadith in Sahih
Muslim which says that Zakat is the dirt of the wealth of people.
That's why how can you use the card for building a masjid?
There's, there's unfortunately there are some organizations that
give us your zakat money. We'll do that well with it with the dirt of
the money of people, it's for the poor. It's to create the balance
with the poor and wealthy. Allah subhanho wa Taala say certain
Bacara first 151 Gamma, I'll sell nerf fi comm Rasulullah mill comm
yet Lu rd comm Tina, we use the key comm where you are labeled
communicator but we'll Hikmah where you are Lemo command M Taku.
No Tyler moon
just as we sent among you, a Messenger from among you, who
recite our verses to you promise the Lord and recited the verses we
use the key command he purifies you, he nurtures you and he
teaches you the book and the Wisdom and he teaches you that
which you did not know that gives us an idea. So purify means which
is very relevant here. As you can see Rahim Allah says purify means
that he purifies the Ummah, the Sahaba those the profits or loss
of money.
thinking too. He purifies them from all bad character traits. If
somebody is too greedy if somebody gets too angry what the report
also said somebody came to me said, Please give me some advice,
said love. Don't get angry said some more. A lot of them said it
two three times maybe he knew had an anger problem. So don't get
angry, don't get angry, don't get angry. If somebody says that to
you three times like that. It's probably going to stay with you.
And hopefully it will benefit. Right? So
the that's the job of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to
protect to purify people. And that is our job with our children, to
purify them from bad character from taking on bad character, and
from all other low, lowly character traits like greed and
selfishness and so on, and all aspects of ignorance and deviance
and to take them out of the light. Take them out of the darkness to
light that's our job just like the Prophet saw some did with the OMA.
Now let's move on. Allah subhanho wa Taala says in Surah Al Capp,
I'm going to try to get all the verses about children. Allah
subhanaw taala says in South Africa half L MaryLu. will burn
una Zina will hire the dunya duniya. Wealth and new children
wealth and children. They are your
embellishment and adornment of this worldly life. When you have
children, you feel like us. I mean, it's because most people
have children. They appreciate their children, of course. But you
see the comparison with somebody who cannot have children and they
go from one hospital to that.
And they go from one specialist to the other and they go from one
therapy to the other. I've had two questions for Ramadan. Are we
allowed to have our IVF treatment in Ramadan? So many people are
having this May Allah subhanaw taala make it easy. That's why if
you have children, it's a source of adornment. Just like having
money is a sense of adornment. It gives you that strength. That's
what Allah subhanho wa Taala says, that's why it's supposed your
children and your wealth are supposed to be your adornment.
What beautifies you? So again, this is telling us that you better
have children who are good, who do not put you to shame? Who Well, if
they put you to shame is because you made them put you to shame.
I'll talk about that. And our people. Yeah, I'll talk about that
in a bit. So the idea is that your children should be adornment,
beautification for you. And the only way that's going to happen is
if you beautify them
you beautify something first. And then it becomes a so you get a
very nice
phone, nice jacket, Nice job, nice glasses, nice shoes, nice jumper,
whatever. Then you put it on to beautify yourself. But if you
don't take a beautiful one is not going to beautify you.
So the same kind of thing here is mentioned
thereafter that another verse in Surah, two two now this isn't in
any kind of organization, because it's verses of the Quran they're
not all together so to tool now,
the 27th Cipolla juice, I 21 Allah subhanho wa Taala says one Lavina
Amano waterbar Toombul RIA to whom be Iman in Al Hakuna be him the RE
Yetta whom one Allah to know who mean I'm Eddie mu che Kulu marry
him in the maca, server Raheen. Those people who believe in sha
Allah, the believers
and whose progeny, children grandchildren have followed them
in Iman, may Allah keep this faith within our progeny until the Day
of Judgment, whoever those who believed and whose progeny has
followed them in Iman,
we will
join
their progeny is with them.
We won't take away from any of the actions. We're basically the idea
here is what Allah subhanaw taala is saying that just in case our
children or grandchildren or somebody may be of a slightly
lower category.
In paradise,
if we've done our best ALLAH SubhanA those who truly believe
what Allah will do is he will have them upgraded.
So the parents bought tickets in business class.
Right? And the children they got them to be in coach class in
normal class. There's a big difference in price 2000 pound a
ticket and 300 pound ticket.
So they saw this is this is really weird. I mean
Your children are going to feel a bit and they're all teenagers
they're not children children. So then mashallah the airline
upgraded you.
Somehow it's like they moved Amelia, you got it for free. So
that's kind of what this is saying that if you have Iman and you've
done the right thing, then Allah will inshallah upgrade your
children even if there's a mistake that was made and they don't
attain as long as they in paradise. Make sure they get to
Paradise.
Imam Ghazali Rahmatullahi Ali now I said I'm gonna mention just from
the Quran, but Imam Ghazali rounds this off, and I thought this was
really useful. He says, A sub EU Amana tune in the world Ed, an
infant, little child when it's born is the trust in the hands of
his parents.
Were called whoo hoo ha ha. So hello. When a child is born, the
child is innocent, pure heart. Every child is born with a pure
heart on the fitrah right is Joe Hara to Nafisa donates a very
valuable Pearl Hollier to an uncle in action was Surah Tim, it's a
pearl or a gem that doesn't have any inscription on it or any
design in it yet. It doesn't have any form any particular picture or
four minutes. But we'll we'll call bill on liquid Linux, it can take
on any form because you know, when you get a gym, you can then cut it
into whatever you want. You can make it round for your ring. You
can make it into a diamond shape, you can make it whatever shape you
want, right? It has the ability to be one man even Isla Colima, Yuma
la la, it has the ability to incline towards any direction that
it's somebody's going to pull it
for in all widdle higher nationality. So if it's me, if
it's given the habit of goodness, then that is what it will grow
upon. That is the direction it will take. We're sorry, the fifth
Dounia was a hero, Ababa. And if the parents do this, well, the
parents will become fortunate ones both in this world and in the
hereafter.
They will be happy both in this one the hereafter because the one
of the best things you can have as is correlate to I in your child be
the gladness of your eyes. You look at your children they make
you happy
not just that they look handsome. But they do handsome things
mashallah that's the achievement of my child
he's become half is he comes first in class works very hard. Wakes up
himself And subhanAllah one of the best is he makes a lot on time
rugby What if you want your children to make solid and be of
them one very powerful too is in the Quran as well. Rugby Jana
Mookie masala theorem in theory yeah Tina just keep repeating that
in every of your doors. Rugby Jana mochi masala do into Rio, Tina
Robina with a cappella. Oh Allah, make us of those who established
the prayer.
And from our progeny.
You will see the baraka of them.
You'll see the bulk of that, if your child can pray, when you're
not looking, like for example, at school.
That means you're onto something.
If they come back from school and say, Did you pray and they say,
you know, today I couldn't pray. I couldn't find a place to pray,
then you're supposed to be happy with that. Because he could have
easily said to you, I prayed.
But if they can come home and say I did not pray because I couldn't
find a space or I didn't have time in my break, then be happy. They
may have not prayed but at least they did not lie to you. That
means there's a hope that they want to pray.
May Allah give us children like that?
Okay, then he says we're in over the shadow. However, if this child
is allowed to be habituated to evil ideas and evil behavior,
we're oatmeal and he's left like weeds. We didn't say that it mild
behind him. He says his left just like animals are allowed to just
graze how they want. Shakti, our Halak. He will become wretched,
and it will be destroyed. What candle with roofie raka battle
Kassim era, and the sin of that will be on the one who is looking
after him. Who is supposed to be responsible which is the parent?
What come on animal burden a Filipina hola yo Hola, COCOM. And
Imam Hassan he always gives these really simple example. Is it just
like a body when it's greater like right now? We are all at this
height and size. We grew up very small, maybe I don't know. A foot
right in length. Why is it five key word today? How many kilos or
two and a half? Three and a half? How many kilos are baby I don't
ask these questions. So how many kilos are babies Jr? What's the
average?
Seven pounds How many kilos is about three kilos. But three
kilos. Right? Is a very heavy baby they said 10 pound baby.
So may Allah give us healthy babies healthy healthy children.
So said just like that the child is small when you look at
Subhanallah look at those fingers.
Look at those tiny nails. Were in the my ukmo or yak molby were
Yokohama river, you have to feed it, feed it milk and food for it
to become stronger and the body grows, that's what you need, they
need to drink they need to eat for cathodic enough's, likewise is the
soul of every human being.
It's created incomplete, right? It's free, it's open the knifes,
it's open, and it has the possibility of of gaining
perfection. And it can only gain perfection through tarbiyah. He
says this is where the tarbiyah comes in the tarbiyah hamdulillah
most people will do tarbiyah of their children in terms of feeding
them the right foods, forcing them to eat. But the therapy is also of
the soul in the heart, which is more important than the other one.
Equally and more important,
but the heavy will UCLA. And so teaching them good character and
teaching them knowledge and when you don't have that knowledge then
having others to teach them.
Now let's move on. Allah subhanahu wa Tada. Talks about intellectual
Furqan Allah subhanaw taala says, another verse about this. Well
levena your co owner of Birna have a learner I mean as well Gina was
already Yes, Tina Kurata aren't you? Why John, Tina EMA. This is
the other dua that you should have on your lips all the time along
with Robbie, Jana maki masala, the young intermediate. These two are
magical dogs. This one specifically even for not just
your children and progeny, but for your spouse as well. So the wife
can read it for the Husband, husband can read it for the wife,
what does it mean? So Allah subhanaw taala is describing
cerebral furqan, the true servants of Allah, and the true servants of
Allah. They are the ones who say, Allah says, Our Lord grant us from
our spouses and our progeny, meaning our children and children
and children. Those that are the glad that those that are the joy
of our eyes. When we look at them, they will comfort our eyes Kurata
ain, and make us leaders of the righteous ones. This is the owner
must say that this is such a magical dua that if you have
problems with your spouse, or maybe even your children, and you
read this dua and you do the right things, Allah will remove those
problems from your spouse or your children.
If there's something that really bothers you about your wife, or
for the wives, the husband, you read this door and you try your
best, either that thing will be removed from them that bad habit.
Like if they keep leaving their socks all over the place.
They'll stop doing that. Or it will be something that will not
bother you anymore about them.
Allah will make it pale in your significance. This is the verse
from the Quran this refers to and now look what Allah says here. It
doesn't say oh love, which means just children. He actually says
the rear, the rear means your progeny, everybody that's going to
come from you until the day of judgment.
Have you ever thought that far?
I sometimes think that what will my great great, great, great great
granddaughter and grandson be what will they be doing? Will they be
live? What? What are they going to be doing? I feel a responsibility.
I'm not joking. I feel a responsibility.
Because when you see the craziness outside and the challenges and the
fitna outside, you wonder,
you know we can do while we're here?
What's going to happen? But they say that
your sada calls, our good deeds, and our doors will inshallah
penetrate down
to the Day of Judgment.
Allah keep them all right.
Right. And that's why Sahana there are some families.
There's just some goodness about the person. Like why, and you will
find out that they had some righteous people in the ancestry.
Now you we might not have any righteous people up there that we
can trace. Why don't we be that righteous person for the rest? For
going down? Have you ever thought that have you ever considered how
powerful you are?
That you're going to leave a generation?
You're starting your day? No, your brother's children, not your
sister's children or your cousins, children, your own children.
That's something to really think about. It's a major responsibility
to set the scene for that again, I'm just going to bring in a few
statements YBNL came Rahimullah another one of the great scholars
he says, What come meme, mocha meme and Ashkar wala who fit dunya
well,
how many people there are who turn their children, pieces of their
own liver, into the wretched ones into the most wretched beings,
both in this world and in the hereafter.
Now listen to this carefully what how big a murderer he was Takita
DB where IANA Tiana Shaohua, at
by neck negligence, not taking care of them constantly working,
hoovering on the computer, on the phone, whatever and letting them
be on their phone. If your children are holed up in their
room
for most of the time, and they don't like to be with the rest of
the family, you've probably got a problem.
Think about this, if you've got a child who loves to just be in
their room, unless they're on a masala doing about it, right? If
they just want to be in their room on some phone, or some gimmick or
whatever, and they don't like to be with the family, you have to
force them to come, you've probably got a problem.
And I don't mean a problem we'll just fit in on that can case, but
there are nowadays unfortunately, there are children committing
suicide, because they've got no communication with their own
families to talk to them about their issues. They may be being
bullied at school, they don't know, they may have some other
issues, but they don't, there's no open dialogue with the parents. So
because of that they got nobody returned to. So they, some of them
are seeking things on Twitter and Facebook, but there's nobody to
help them because everything's a joke on there sometimes. So
there's children who take their own lives because of that.
That's why it's very important to have that he says, either by
neglecting them, or by not doing their tarbiyah properly, or by
assisting them in there
assisting assisting them in their desires.
And a lot of if the parents are not on the same wavelength,
there's a problem between husband and wife, father and mother.
Generally what happens is, one of them becomes the good cop. And the
other one becomes the bad cop. So what well, they don't want to be
bad cop one has concerned they say no pray, you know, you can't go
out with your friends, you can't have a phone. And there's the
other side. The other one, whoever it is, is the mother sometimes
sometimes the father, no, no lame have a 47 years old in her phone,
because he's trying to attract him on the side. Because you know if
there's a divorce, and the child will want to stay with that
parent, that's destroying the children.
So if you there's one child, if you Is she she said that.
She complained about her parents, when she's older now. They bought
me everything. Anything I needed, they bought me the most expensive
gifts or toys, they bought me. But they never gave me time.
That just buying them everything doesn't have that there's no
tarbiyah in just buying everything for your children. But then to be
stingy is obviously not good either. So there needs to be a
balance of what's good and what's bad. You wouldn't buy your five
year old, a seven year old a phone, even if they want it. It's
just not right. The crying everyday phone, phone phone,
you're just not going to get it because it's not right when they
get older at the right age, and you can get them.
So here's what he says. And he says well, who will be 30 days or
more I know you can remove work on a HANA. Whereas parents think that
by doing this, letting them just play around and letting them
buying them whatever they want.
And assisting them in that regard. They think that they're honoring
their children, whereas they actually humiliating and degrading
their children.
They think they're having mercy on them, where they're oppressing
them for further who interfere who be worthy. He has now he's not
going to benefit from his children of getting any reward for doing
therapy of his children. And he's also going to spoil the child's
position in this world and in the Hereafter. And then he says the
final point, which is the most important point, he says, What is
that Toby erotic fossa do fill out *, or ADA motorhoming kibble
Abba. It says whenever you see children going wrong, and children
being spoiled and children being messed up, you'll see that the
majority reason and cause for this other parents.
At the end of the day, the parents have to take responsibility.
You know, it's very difficult for a parent to say it wasn't my
fault. Yes, there are certain cases where the parents did
everything. And just something went wrong. Understandable. But in
most cases, the parents we as parents have to take
responsibility. It is our responsibility. And whatever
happens, either we were too strict or we were too lacks, it could be
anything. So
that's why Allah subhanaw taala says in Surah 213 year a you Hala
Rena man who Fusa Kuma Alikum
Baku Han Solo el hijo Allah to RNA Iike toon shader, sunnah Allah, La
sunnah law hum Amara whom way of iTune Emma you Maru
Have you heard this verse? It's a very famous verse, verse six of
swords dream are people who believe. Protect yourself. Cover
yourself, protect yourself and your families, that your spouses
and your children from the fire from the Fire, whose fuel is
people and stones, and there's
very severe
angels who are standing God and they are such angels that they do
not disobey Allah subhanaw taala in the lease and they do exactly
what Allah subhanaw taala wants, so protect yourselves and your
children from ending up in the hellfire.
So what we're going to look at now is Allah subhanaw taala discusses
the righteous people, that includes prophets and others in
the Quran. And we're going to be discussing the parents and the
children relationship in terms of that so Allah subhanaw taala
talking about parent children relationship Allah speaks about
Ibrahim Ali Salam
is smartly that is that I'm yaku buddy Salaam and Luqman, Hakim and
he sat down, and others. So for example, let's look at Ibrahim Ali
Salam first.
So in order to solve that, verse 100, Allah subhanaw taala says
about Ibrahim Eissa Rob be heavily Muna Saudi hain, my Lord grant me
from the righteous ones.
So if you've never asked, if you're having children, or
intentado, and you've never asked for good children, then that's a
major oversight.
What makes our children good or bad is from Allah subhanaw taala
there's a huge assistance that's required. Right. And the ease that
has to be created for that there's some children, they just
physically very difficult. Some children are very stubborn, some
children are very active, you can't sit for a moment, they'll
keep you on your feet. I've got a friend who's got a few daughters
and then he got a son. The few daughters are fine, but the Son is
a good kid, but he just can't sit still.
He just can't sit still, you have to be constantly on him that he
doesn't pull out stuff and throw stuff and she's very active.
Just that's the nature Allah created him on.
That's your that's your trial. And your patients on that will
inshallah help we will get will give you closest to Allah subhanaw
taala. And it'll be several patients.
Some people are smiling with a like that or something.
And it's not that the child is being evil or something. It's just
just very active concept still.
And the brother, the sister is fine. And sometimes you have two
brothers one is very active, the unknown is quite slow. One is very
inquisitive. And the other one is happy go lucky.
I know two I know twins. One is just happy go lucky. No care in
the world. The other one is very inquisitive.
To the level he gets bothersome sometimes. What is this? What is
that? Why you're doing this? But, you know both of these have their
own qualities. So how did that happen? That twins, the same food
the parents have eaten, right? It's the same thing that they've
done but they've got to this is up to Allah what He gives us. That's
why if this dog can be accepted Rob be Hubley, Minnesota, he in
our Lord grant us of the righteous ones. So now, Ibrahima isms, dua
was accepted.
And when it was accepted, he was given a smart ilardi Salam, he was
given his hochkar A Salam.
And, of course then he did the tarbiyah which means he nurtured
them in the best of ways. And mashallah then they grew in the
best of ways, like the most beautiful flower and the most
beautiful crops.
And then Allah subhanaw taala kept pretty much all the prophets that
came after Ibrahim Ali salaam, was is in which it were in his
children. So every single prophet after him was they all capable of
being prophets in that sense that the prophets all came in his
children, mostly through his Hakone salaam, and then the best
of prophets came through, he smiled at Islam, his son, his
great grandson, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
Thereafter, you get this understanding of the tarbiyah that
Brian Melissa had done. This is not just a claim we're making you
understand this from an interaction ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada
Satan sort of to solve that. Verse 102 for them, but a homeowner who
Sarina called buena you're in the ER off in Miami in need. Ne, HK,
fo Verma the Torah, called a year ability for ALMA to mount Certegy
Dhoni in sha Allah
Lahu Mina saw beteen young child still is married Ali Salam,
Ibrahim Ali, some start seeing these dreams. Now imagine you
start seeing a dream
that you're sacrificing your son.
Right? That's not an easy dream.
He obviously tried to ignore it once or twice, but then it became
that no, this is serious profits dreams are walking in Revelation.
So rather than just take his son by just saying, Hey, let's go on
an outing, let's go on a picnic and grab him and try to sacrifice
him. He actually talked to his son about it. Now this son is How old
is he? You hear this? Every evil of her? He's very young. He's
only 1213 or something like this, or maybe younger. So said my son,
oh, my son I've seen in this dream that I am sacrificing you. What do
you think? What do you see?
Taking a major decision like that? Would you even consult your
children of that age? Now this makes them feel important,
obviously. Now this son he says, Carla, your mother, Tara, what do
you think Carla? Yeah, but if Alma told my father, do whatever you've
been commanded, you're going to find me? Totally submissive,
you're going to find me from the CBD. That's the nurturer that
Allah subhanaw taala had allowed the Brian Madison to do with his
children. And that's the power of the DUA he'd made rugby Hubli
Minnesota him. That's why I've always thought about this, that
having successful children starts before you even get married.
Having successful children starts before marriage. Now if you're
marrying for the wrong reason, then May Allah help you. What I
mean by marrying for wrong reason means marriage is always right in
sha Allah, right marriage, marriage is so non halal, but in
who you're marrying, if you're marrying just based on superficial
ideas, just like look or money or something like that, not thinking
of the long term, overall.
The overall package, remember, you don't buy a phone for just how the
screen looks.
He's got a bad GPS, he's got bad memory, what's the point? Oh, it
looks sleek.
If you're not going to enjoy that phone for a long time,
or this car, it has massage chairs, but performance wise, it's
messed up.
It's really good. And everything has all of these gimmicks, he has
all of these things. But
when there's a problem, then it costs a lot of money. You need the
package, you need the whole package. And that's where marriage
begins. You need to do ah, and get married to the right person. Okay?
Find the right package to find. And then the DA continuous because
Allah is the One who, like I said, the twins are totally two
separate, right? So it's up to Allah Who gives if that's why if
Allah gives you children, and allows you to do the tarbiyah and
you can be happy with them. It is something to thank Allah for.
Because there are so many parents who, whose hearts are burnt.
They're constantly crying and the nights they are not enjoying their
life, your life will become misery. Just because you made some
mistakes. May Allah reform so Subhanallah Look at that. Now that
is my list and I'm starving now is my daddy surrounding Allah
subhanho wa Taala says about him and sort of Miriam
is Smiley. So now he's older now he's having children. What can I
Morrow Hello, who is solid he was.
He used to command his family and instruct them to do solid and to
lose accounts. So Allah subhanaw taala is telling us that
interaction with Ibrahim is Marilla Islam now, Ibrahim Ali
Salam set the scene. So now he's telling them to make salads and
zakat, why does Allah mentioned those two things from every other
thing that he could have commanded them to do? And did commanded them
to do? Because salah and zakat are very important in the whole
tarbiyah process. Salatin zakat are not just actions.
Salah is not just a few rockets bang on, you know, putting the
forehead on the floor a few times. This is the problem. Many of us
when we teach our children salats or the way we've been taught
Salaat is just that it's an obligation of doing records that
must have this this and this and you can't speak and look around
and so on the rule of the salad, the spirit of the salad, what is
that? What the salad is supposed to provide you? We don't hear
about that often enough. That's not what it's taught.
Unfortunately, the bottom of the salada the inside aspect of the
salaat so
what Salah is supposed to teach us is what Allah says in the Quran in
salah the 10 her Anil fracture you will move Salah solid
prevents from immorality and chastity and from the wrongs then
the
is the cut the purpose is not the heat. You tell him zakat, as I
mentioned yesterday is occurred is the dirt that could creep into our
wealth. Because we acquire wealth from different sources, maybe from
our employer, from a salary from a gift from business. Now that money
that's coming in, could be from all sorts of ways. And today, I
mean, how do you avoid user use aureus money, somebody somewhere
has taken money on usury, or whatever the case is. So that
comes to us. Allah says, 2.5% keep getting rid of that's purification
for you. And he purifies you to the key him that it also provides
purity for the human being from their sins, not just from their
sins, it removes greed, and stinginess. That's what Zakat is
for. You also removes your stinginess, he also has compassion
for the poor, it's an assistance for people who are in need, it
creates harmony and balance in the world. For the wealthy people in
the world that have more than the nisab were to just give zakat,
there will be no poor people in the world left, everybody would
have enough because that's Allah has seems to have allotted enough
wealth in the world to go around. But the problem is that it gets
concentrated in the few and they don't give enough. So if there's a
God can be given just 114, that's enough to sort out the other part,
to at least give them a sufficient amount. This is actually being
shown by Omar Abdulaziz in North Africa, which was under Islamic
rule during his time that eventually, just within four
years, just within four years, there was nobody that could, was
eligible to accept the Kurds. Because everybody just had enough.
They weren't wealthy, necessarily, like overly wealthy, but they had
enough to get through, so they couldn't accept the cards anymore.
So this is all that told about them. When we're taking out our
card in Ramadan, or whenever we're doing, let's tell our children
about that. That this is why we do it. So they learn when it comes to
their time for the card as well. And they take an interest in these
things. The zakat helps the wealth to become halal. There's a Baraka
that it creates. And of course, any child this is another aspect
of the God that any child who is brought up on Halal wealth is
going to do better than a child has brought up on haram wealth or
tainted wealth or doubtful wealth
has a major impact has a major impact.
The other thing is for your children you should spend behind
them, especially for the dean. I don't know why people would argue
that the fees are too much from other reasons.
I was a principal once and the fees weren't too much. They were
peanuts compared to what people would pay for tuition for their
school. And yet you had some parents few very few that would
know they're not paying. So I said, Look, why can't you pay? We
don't have enough money. I said, that's fine. I'll get used to that
money. So you got very, very insulted. You're telling me is a
garden I said, Well, you're saying you can't pay even your children's
fees of around 2500 a week. So you must be poor than eligible for the
card Bismillah that's what Zakat is for.
That student
then he calmed down, because he realized the absurdity of the
claim. gonna argue with the schools, gonna argue with the
tuitions. But believe me feasibly the money, it will never go to
waste. I know one student in the room in our mother's most students
used to pay half fees or no fees, half ease, because most this was
I'm talking about 30 years ago. Now it's a bit different people
didn't have as much wealth in those days. And the mother says
from the tradition from is still like that in India and Pakistan,
mostly in Bangladesh. Most students on our call, right,
that's who goes to the mother some majority. So that's why they run
the mothers are on Zika by taking that for the students and then
spending now. So now in England, in the beginning, I think there
were a lot of places where the parents could not pay 2000 pounds
a year.
Nowadays, 2000 is not that much. But 2530 years ago, 2000 pounds
was quite a bit of money. So I remember most of the students used
to get half fees or whatever. I know one student, his father used
to always insist on paying full fees. Then his father became ill.
For what, two, three years? So he went to the office to say that can
we pay higher fees because my father is not making money because
he's ill? So he wasn't working properly. So he said, they said
yes, of course. You know,
he told his father but his father still later insisted on paying the
full fees
is a Baraka in FISA villa. This is in the path of Allah your your I
mean, I don't want to go into all the other like how much
People pay teachers to teach their children although they don't want
to open that door up. That's another discussion. But
definitely, you should pay
whatever is required and more, because there's been a game that
Allah will see you spend in the path of Allah, Allah will see you
spend for your teachers, for the masjid for whatever it is that is
providing that institution, that academy or whatever the
institution is, and Allah subhanho wa Taala will give
and the last point so 100 Our time is over all the time. Yeah, I call
buddy Salaam. Now let's look at Jacoba de Salaam. He's on his last
breaths. Jacoba Islam is on his last breath. And Allah says in
Surah Al Baqarah 133 gutem shahada is had oral yaku Bal Mahmoud is
cordially very Hema caribou guna min birdie call Luna Buddha ADA
hookah ina
Ibrahim our Ismar Isla is
either either when a hula hula Muslim on his on his last breaths.
And he says where you are witness when Mote and death is present in
front of Jacoba Salaam. And he says to his children, what are you
going to worship after me?
He's concerned, the dough heat and oneness of Allah must be the Iman.
They said, We will worship your Lord and the Lord of your
forefathers, Ibrahim and Ismail and his hug one Lord, and we are
submitting to him imagine his happiness and how he died. Imagine
his happiness as hearing that from his children. So the other point
here, I mean, there's so much we can open up from here we just
don't have the time is the concern he has. He's not saying how you're
going to spend the money am I leaving you well, how you're going
to do this how you're going to do that he's worried about the wasI
what he's doing is about his Eman is about their Iman because at the
end of the day if you want to meet them in Jannah if you want to meet
your children in Jannah, then make sure that you've given them scope
to remain Muslim. To remain believers. You can leave them all
the money in the world and everything. But if they lose their
faith or your grandchildren lose their faith because you've not
taught your children well enough. I've seen a lot of time the
parents are slack with the good with themselves at the slack with
their children. The grandchildren are even worse. Because the
children don't their children don't have enough that importance
and emphasis. If you want to meet them in paradise and you expect to
go to paradise. Well prepare for it. May Allah subhanaw taala make
it easy I hope this was very short but the very profound from the
Quran. This is Quranic injunctions on tarbiyah Tila Allah may Allah
subhanaw taala allow us to do this fully and follow in the footsteps
of the Saudi hen and these righteous and Allah make it easy
for us. Allah remove this the fitna out there Allahumma Anta
Salam, WA Minka Salah metabolically, Adam generativity,
Chrome Allahumma salli wa salam ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa and you
see the now Muhammad you are vertical Selim, Yet Allah blessed
us in this month of Ramadan. Oh ALLAH blessed us in every way
there is blessed us with our children with our progeny. So
Allah with our health of Allah, with everything that we have
removed this pandemic from us, oh Allah protect us and our children,
grandchildren progeny until the day of judgment, and oh Allah make
all of them such that they become the coolness of our eyes, and that
we unite in general for those, so why not be carbonized the IOC
Fonasa Ramona and Marcelino.
JazakAllah here for listening May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless you.
And if you're finding this useful, you know
as they say to that like button and subscribe button and forwarded
on to others, just like hello here and as Salaam Alaikum
Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh