Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Q&A Viewing the Face of the Deceased

also is it necessary for people to view the face of the disease? No,

that's become a very, that's become a big tradition.

And sometimes people aren't buried until the face is seen. So they

have this huge group of I remember there was one I attended, where

they opened it, the face, they reveal the face for people to see

it was wintertime when Margaret and Margaret were very close

together. And they nearly had to Miss Margaret because it took so

long to everybody to see the face, he was a well known person.

And then you know, to do the burial, so it's not necessary. So

recently, when my uncle passed away, we only allowed the very

close family members to see because there's nothing no harm in

seeing. The Prophet salallahu Salam was seen by Abu Bakr Siddiq

early on, he was their worker, they are the Allahu Anhu came, he

kissed him on his forehead. And he said trip to Haiti and Romanian us

so pleasant both in your life and in your death. So seeing the face

is nothing wrong with it, right? In that sense, but when it becomes

a culture, and you just see it because of the tradition, one is

you got a close friend, he's got a desire to have one last look

Hamdulillah. But strangers, oh, you just want to see him. Or you

should see him. Everybody's seeing him. So I should see him. That's

where the problem comes. Otherwise, there's nothing wrong

with seeing per se, it's just when it becomes a necessary part of the

ritual. That's when it becomes problematic.

If it is such a sensitive time for the family, and some people are

offended, if not given a chance to view the deceased face. And they

find this quite strange. Yes, I agree with you. If it's close

friends and family, then you should oblige. Because they've got

a desire as well, they were friends. And if the prophets Allah

loves him, has told us that when your parents pass away, and your

father passes away, you it's, it's, it's good for you to be good

to their friends to keep a tie of kinship with your father's

friends. With your parents friends, that's, that's mentioned.

So if you're supposed to be good with your father's friends, for

example, then allowing such close people, close friends and so on to

see, then you shouldn't be overly sensitive, some, it's from both

sides. Right? Some people make it a ritual and want to see just when

they don't even know the person or they just kind of knew him from

afar. That's a problem. There's other people, I've also seen where

they be become so protective, that they don't want anybody to come

and see or even when they ill or something. Now I know that our

martial our culture is such that we can flood the hospital, right

with people. And that causes a big aggravation for people. So

sometimes you do have to, but maybe, then you can just be

selective, to allow some people and just explain. The problem

comes is when you don't educate people of why you're doing

something. So recently, when there was a particular meat of that

nature, some of the Friends of the deceased as family were being very

protective, and the relatives were feeling left out. The relatives

were feeling left out because the disease family. Now the problem is

our culture, we know that we when there's a mate, we're gonna stay

there like 24 hours a day, that's a bit wrong as well, you're

supposed to go and do condolence, and sit as much as is conveniently

comfortable for both the person whose morning, the wife or the

husband, wherever it is, they've also got issues, they also need

some time off, you're gonna stay there the whole day, then you have

to worry about food and lots of management has to take place.

It's weird, because the visitors think the close ones, they think

you must stay the whole day for three days, and you must drop your

work and everything and do that. And

the person who's mourning, they can't tell, you know. So it gets

really confusing. That's why one very good thing that I saw in the

local area is that when the father passed away, they actually put a

nice notice up outside the door of the house, you know, with the How

to come and do a yada, how to come and condole, give condolence, how

long, you should stay all the virtues and everything, so that

whenever visitors came, they generally got to read that. This

is what's missing. With us, because it's a certain culture, we

just think it has to be done. But the family, they need to manage

people's expectations. So they need to make an announcement and

send it around to everybody, that look, this is how we'd like it.

This is visiting hours. And this is time when the only the family

will be there. So if you want to come come at this time,

then you're going to have to be a bit flexible. If somebody comes

from fun, they didn't know, right? You have to play like that. But I

think one of the biggest things that are missing is insensitivity

is sensitivity towards these things. And number two, no

education, you're not managing people's if you don't want people

to come say so. But saying nicely. Let them know from before, manage

the whole thing in terms of a schedule, and try to do the best

that you can and just have a kind of a strong, firm person but a

polite person to deal with all of these things. Don't get somebody

who's very rash and who will cause

is much more harm than good get a person who's decent who can

explain to people give them some assurance confidence and things

like that