Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Q&A How to Teach Our Children to Be Happy
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The speaker discusses the importance of balancing physical activity and social interaction in achieving healthy behavior. They suggest that children should be focused on social interaction and learning from their parents, while also learning about their natural tendencies and interests. The speaker also mentions the need for training and understanding of social interactions to improve behavior.
AI: Summary ©
What advice would you give our young daughters who really love
the glitz and glamour of the world around them, but also want to be
good Muslims? Is there a balance? Secondary school age? So firstly,
I think I would look at this more holistically is that where is this
coming from? And where do you think it's coming from, it's
probably coming because the people that they're associating with
classmates and so on, I mean, it could only come from two places or
three places, right? One is the either comes from the, the home
environments themselves, maybe the parents are like that. So of
course, we have to try to identify, so it could be from
parents or family members. So you've got cousins who are like
this, or uncles and aunts who are like this, that's very tough,
right? That's a very difficult one, because you can't isolate
yourself from your relatives, right. And there's no doubt about
this human beings, there's no doubt about it. When it comes to
glimpse of the world, we are definitely influenced outside of
ourselves, I'm constantly said, or he said, that whenever it comes to
worldly things, always look at people below you. So you can at
least feel content with what you do have. That's why my doll is to
Allah is Allah, you've given us more than so many others in this
world.
If you start looking at some people have more than you, because
there will always be somebody who has a bit more than you, then
you're going to want that. So that's why you're only supposed to
look at people have more than you in terms of the dean and closest
to Allah, because that's an encouragement. This is how human
psyche psyche works.
So,
for example, I mean, I had no interest in buying a watch, right?
My watch has been going on for 1015 years, and he kind of works
has lost its waterproofing. But then once I was with another
scholar, and he had this really beautiful Rado watch, and that
just created in me a desire, man, I need one of those as well.
Alright, I saw that about over a year ago. So haven't got one so
far. Right? But it does. I mean, it's a natural thing that you see
somebody else with something you feel like you want to know
everything, you know, you have to just so now that's the one place
number two, it could be classmates and other people that interact
with other friends. Because one person gets something, we've had
this with adults. So for example, once in America while I was there,
one husband bought his wife, a Mercedes SUV, right. So all the
other women started wanting that. So their husbands had to buy for
them as well. There's a lot of this that happens in our career,
not just among women, it happens among men as well.
So it's appears number three, maybe it's not none of that. It's
just they've got this thing that they look online, and they want
these things. So I think the way to the way to balance that is that
the few things that you have yet we have to teach piano, which
means contentment and satisfaction with what Allah what Allah has
given us. And then after that, anything that is needed, not
purely for Glitz purposes, we need to try to sift that, distinguished
between that, that whatever we need that's needed. Let's do that,
that's fine, let's do that. Let's not scrimp on that, whatever we
don't need, then we don't do that. So it's about trying to develop
contentment and satisfaction. And there's lots of verses. And lots
of that written in like in the books of Imam Ghazali and other
Maharaja Valley, Tonry, Rama, Mala all of them that talk about how
one can learn about satisfaction in this team. And once you start
looking at it from that perspective, hopefully our
children will pick that up as well. Just showing satisfaction,
showing sugar on what we already have. And hopefully that will
help. Right that hopefully that will help. I really, I think it
needs to be a training from an early age. This needs to be
focused on that our children and not from young age going in a
different direction. So when they do get higher, when they do get
older, it may be too late, because we've taught them to already love
the dunya so much.
And of course at the same time, we try to ask Allah subhanaw taala
for assistance, So minimizing interaction with people who are
too indulgent, like that, number two, to understand the nature of
things, to understand the nature of something that this is good or
bad in itself and what it's doing to you and what our real focus
should be for that they need a good conversation. But we need to
understand what the Prophet sallallahu sallam said about this
and hopefully that should help as well. And of course along with
this, we try to make as much dua to Allah subhanaw taala as
possible and May Allah help us all in that regard.