Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Q&A Building Love between Siblings
![Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera](https://artwork.muslimcentral.com/abdur-rahman-ibn-yusuf-mangera-150x150.jpg)
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
How to Increase love between siblings and what can we do as
parents to help? I think that's a good question. I think there's
certain things that you may be held to, and you have to do this
earlier on. If we have a rivalry, generally, what you'll see is that
parents, children are going to pick up from their parents, and
from the way parents deal with their children. So other children
are going to see that same relationship, and they're going to
emulate that same relationship. So in a lot of these conditions, if
the kids don't love one another, or we feel they don't, and they're
always at each other, well, maybe it's because of the way we're
speaking to each of the children. Because they're just reflecting
that. All right, most of the time, it's like that. So what we need to
do is we need to see and really scrutinize our own behavior, I
think that's really a big issue, we need to scrutinize our behavior
of how we look at children,
and how we interact with them. And I know we have to get angry
sometimes, and we have to have the you know, do a telling off and all
the rest of it. But that needs to be
whenever it's necessary. And that shouldn't be every day. If we've
already lowered our our admonishment level our correction
level that our first point, our first option is to shout, and not
to explain, then we've already lost the game, we've already lost
it always, when you're correcting somebody somebody does wrong is
you first try to explain to them nicely. If that doesn't work, in
most cases, if that stops working, then you have to go into a harsher
approach or a more strict approach.
Right. But if, with many parents, this is what happens that their
first approach is to shout.
So when we've done that already, they're probably going to do the
same with that. So then the other thing, then what we need to do is
to try to create is to help them share with one another. So if
you're gonna, if you're out with one of the children, they're
buying something, say, are you going to buy some for your brother
to get them to share? Then I think we need to also tell our children
that look, these are your brothers and sisters and if one does a good
act for the other, then promote that act
right to the others, then also tell them that we must have love
for one another never forsake your brother or sister. Right? Always
be at their side regardless of what happens even if you have a
problem once in a while, you must love one another because this is
what Allah has given you. So I think that kind of an approach
also. So we scrutinize ourself and see if our relationship with them
and our behavior towards them can improve because that will have a
reflection inshallah. And then of course encouraging it between them
as well.
And we ask Allah subhanaw taala to make our children and our spouses,
the gladness also gladness and delight for our eyes.