Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Q&A Building Love between Siblings

			How to Increase love between
siblings and what can we do as
		

			parents to help? I think that's a
good question. I think there's
		

			certain things that you may be
held to, and you have to do this
		

			earlier on. If we have a rivalry,
generally, what you'll see is that
		

			parents, children are going to
pick up from their parents, and
		

			from the way parents deal with
their children. So other children
		

			are going to see that same
relationship, and they're going to
		

			emulate that same relationship. So
in a lot of these conditions, if
		

			the kids don't love one another,
or we feel they don't, and they're
		

			always at each other, well, maybe
it's because of the way we're
		

			speaking to each of the children.
Because they're just reflecting
		

			that. All right, most of the time,
it's like that. So what we need to
		

			do is we need to see and really
scrutinize our own behavior, I
		

			think that's really a big issue,
we need to scrutinize our behavior
		

			of how we look at children,
		

			and how we interact with them. And
I know we have to get angry
		

			sometimes, and we have to have the
you know, do a telling off and all
		

			the rest of it. But that needs to
be
		

			whenever it's necessary. And that
shouldn't be every day. If we've
		

			already lowered our our
admonishment level our correction
		

			level that our first point, our
first option is to shout, and not
		

			to explain, then we've already
lost the game, we've already lost
		

			it always, when you're correcting
somebody somebody does wrong is
		

			you first try to explain to them
nicely. If that doesn't work, in
		

			most cases, if that stops working,
then you have to go into a harsher
		

			approach or a more strict
approach.
		

			Right. But if, with many parents,
this is what happens that their
		

			first approach is to shout.
		

			So when we've done that already,
they're probably going to do the
		

			same with that. So then the other
thing, then what we need to do is
		

			to try to create is to help them
share with one another. So if
		

			you're gonna, if you're out with
one of the children, they're
		

			buying something, say, are you
going to buy some for your brother
		

			to get them to share? Then I think
we need to also tell our children
		

			that look, these are your brothers
and sisters and if one does a good
		

			act for the other, then promote
that act
		

			right to the others, then also
tell them that we must have love
		

			for one another never forsake your
brother or sister. Right? Always
		

			be at their side regardless of
what happens even if you have a
		

			problem once in a while, you must
love one another because this is
		

			what Allah has given you. So I
think that kind of an approach
		

			also. So we scrutinize ourself and
see if our relationship with them
		

			and our behavior towards them can
improve because that will have a
		

			reflection inshallah. And then of
course encouraging it between them
		

			as well.
		

			And we ask Allah subhanaw taala to
make our children and our spouses,
		

			the gladness also gladness and
delight for our eyes.