Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Putting Money in a Man’s Shoe
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Bismillah
Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah Hina Ahmed who want to start you don't want to stop
you who are not going to be here want to talk karate when I was a
builder even surely and fusina Amin say Dr. Medina May the local
for them will deliver while mejor the needle who further heard the
year when a shadow Allah Allah Illallah who the who should equal
when a shadow under Sayed and our Molana Mohammed Abdullah who also
Allahumma salli ala Sayyidina Muhammad wider early so you didn't
have many more Burdick wa salam.
Allah subhanho wa Taala has
discussed in the Quran, Allah subhanho wa Taala says we're in
taro dunya, and met Allah healer to sue her if you to enumerate the
bounties of Allah subhanho wa taala, you would not be able to do
so the reason of that the reason for that is quite clear. The
bounties of Allah subhanaw taala upon us, especially the believers
is not just restricted to this world, it's actually continued
into the next world, the next world is limitless. It's endless.
It's eternal, and thus It'd be impossible. And even if we had to
restrict ourselves to this, this world, I mean, probably spend our
entire life in trying to figure out the different ways that Allah
subhanaw taala has given us bounties. Now, that's something
that we can understand, we can acknowledge that we have the
bounties of Allah subhanaw taala upon us today, the discussion is
actually about what we can do for others. And what I mean by what we
can do for others, is, can we in any way, shape or form when we
have the possibility to try to remove somebody's difficulty,
calamity, somebody's misery? Is there something we can do either
by saying a word, or either by not saying something in a particular
way? Or by doing something for them? Can we remove somebody's
misery? And number two? If if there's a way we can assist and
help somebody? Can we contribute to them? Can we help them? Can we
assist them? So for example, there is it states that when you're
quoting your children, for example, let's just say your son
or your daughter, they're playing among a group of other children,
what what their alumni recommend is that don't say, let's just say
this five children, they don't suddenly say to them, you know, or
my son, my son come here, or, you know, whatever your pet name is
for children that, you know, can apply to other children, like my
son, you know, come here, or like, for example, they seem to do a
good ROTC or whatever, like, you know, better come here or Decra,
come here or whatever, you know, different people do, right Munna,
as, as they say, in Punjabi, or whatever. Based on that, it's
important to understand that what's been recommended is that we
don't call our children by a generic term, like my child, my
son, my daughter, or anything in any other language, just why?
Because there may be another kid in there who doesn't have a mother
who doesn't have a father who may be an orphan. And then when they
hear somebody calling out, right, that my son, my daughter, they're
going to feel really, really bad. So the general thing is, because
we don't know, among if among them, there is such a child, then
we should try to avoid that. That's just one recommendation
given right, among a series of other recommendations that they
may be in terms of this, I want to mention this through highlighting
one incident, there was a che, who was walking with his student. So
this was the shake, he's got his student with him. And they seem to
have some kind of informality between them, you know, where they
can discuss things to each other, the teacher is trying to teach
him, so they probably finished class or they're going towards the
class or something like that. They're going through some fields,
right? So you can imagine this, this may have been somewhere in a
country where you know, people are working on the fields and so on.
So you've got this person with his student who's going through this
field, and suddenly, they come across one of the fields and on
the side of the field, they see some old worn out shoes, right?
They see these old worn out shoes. And as they continue walking,
suddenly this student who seemed to be have a bit of humor, and he
had some informality with his teacher as well. He said to his
teacher, you know what, let's play a bit of a joke. Let's, you know,
let's have a bit of fun is a what, what do you mean? He said, what
I'm going to do is I'm going to take those shoes away. This, you
know, the shoes obviously belong to one of the farmers. They were
very old and tattered and worn. And he says, what we'll do is it's
going to be lunchtime soon, you know, it's noon of our time, I'm
going to hide the shoes, and they will hide behind the trees, and
we'll see what happens. Right? You can imagine what kind of a student
teacher relationship this must have been right? Actually, you
might you might start thinking what kind of a student teacher
relationship is that a student is able to say that to his teacher
that let's play a joke on someone. Right? But listen to the full
story and you understand that this is actually a very healthy
relationship. Right? So
as soon as the students said that to him, the teacher said, Look,
you know, you might get your fun out of that. But seriously, we
should not be
I'm having a laugh at the expense of some poor person who's working
himself in this heat, right? Who's working in this heat in such a
difficult way? You know, when we don't want to, we don't want to,
essentially have a joke on him. I mean, that's just really sad.
That's really bad. Let's think of something else to do. Right? So
look at this relationship is a very healthy relationship, he's
allowed to ask whatever he wants, because that's what students they
have these ideas. And if they don't bounce them off the teacher,
they're never going to know whether something is right or
wrong if you have to just stay silent in front of your teacher.
So the teacher says, No, that's not a good idea. Let's think of
something else. So then the idea was that, okay, what we're going
to do is we're going to put some money, we're going to put some
coins, right in his shoe. So the student went, and he put some
coins in both the shoes. And then after that they hid behind to
watch what happens and watch the reaction. Suddenly, after a short
while this the old, poor looking farmer comes out, right who's
been, you know, tending to his fields, and that, or to somebody
else's field is probably just the laborer isn't it's not even his
own farm. So he's tending to somebody else's, he comes. And he
goes to put his one foot inside his shoe. And he noticed that
there's something in there, you know, some stones or something
like that. So he takes it off, and he shakes it upside down, what
comes out, you've got all this money that comes out, right? And
you know, today maybe just coins, but in those days, you're talking
about the knowledge and theorems, right. So they had more value than
maybe 10 Pence and 50 Pence, or, you know, like 25 cent coins or
whatever it is, right? So he sees that money, and then he, he clears
that shoe up, puts that one on, puts his other foot into the other
shoe, and the same thing happens there. So he, again, he takes his
shoe turns it upside down, and outcomes, some money, and
Subhanallah, right, that's when he just falls to the ground. On his
knees, he falls to the ground, starts praying to Allah subhanaw
taala. And he starts crying. He said, Oh, Allah, my children were
hungry. My wife didn't have anything to cook. And we
absolutely had no food in the house. And I'm not going to make
much from my labor here. Right? May you may, you know, may all
gratitude be YouTube for providing me and he just stayed there
thanking Allah subhanaw taala for such a long time. Right, he
literally just sat there thanking Allah subhanaw taala, for what we
would consider to be a small bounty that was placed there as a
joke by these people, that we will think insignificant because of
what kind of luxuries we enjoy today. And he was just there for
such a long time. And now, the student is Teacher they're looking
back and you know, they can't hold back their tears, and you know,
they happiness about this as well. So then, the teacher says to his,
his, his student, he said, This is exactly what I want you to tell
you, rather than upsetting him and laughing at us and inconveniencing
him, aren't we much more happy right now by giving him something?
Right, but by the happiness that we've brought, you know, in both
of these cases, we had a bit of fun, in the sense that it was a
bit of entertainment for us. It was when I mean entertainment, you
know, what I mean by entertainment here is it was a change of scene,
it was something that was out of the norm that we can just sit back
and watch, we would have watched in that he would have been upset a
bit than we would have gone out and said, you know, candid camera,
you know, in the old version of that, in this one, he's, he's
happy about it. Subhanallah, we don't even have to tell him, we
just can be happy about this. That's what I mean by two things.
One is the the teaching that took place, that the student had enough
casual relationship, enough of a casual relationship with his
teacher that he was able to bounce this idea of otherwise, which
student is going to be to say that to his teacher, the teacher not to
get angry, but turn it around Subhanallah that's what a teacher
is. And that's how the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was to
try to make good and positive out of each situation. Okay, fine, you
want some fun, let's do it this way, where we benefit somebody, as
opposed to, you know, having a joke on some poor man's, you know,
out of some poor man's activity and his distress.
Similarly, I've got a friend, one of the sheets in America, and I
remember once we were at a conference together, and his son
comes along, his son is about 11 years old or something like that.
And he comes in, he starts complaining about some other guy,
some other kids, you know, kids have problems, he starts
complaining, he's always like this to me, he's being mean to me and
this than the other, you know, and he wants to pray, you know, he
wants to like curse him and stuff like that. So now, I'm watching
this whole scene, and the sheikh says to his son, he says, Look, if
you curse him, you pray against him. You say bad things about him,
you make a bad dua even against him. At the end of the day, you're
gonna have to live with this guy because he lives in your area goes
to your school or whatever. So there's no benefit in that it's
just going to carry on the war will carry on. Why don't you make
dua for him? Like why don't you pray for him that Allah subhanaw
taala make him softer, and bring your hearts closer, join between
your hearts so that the hidden is no longer a problem for you?
Right? So huntleigh thought that's such a great tarbiyah right to
again, turn a situation like that, right? But you have to
Explain to our children that that's how we should do it. Now,
that's in terms of the tarbiyah aspect. But if we look at the
bigger picture here, the happiness that you will gain by entering
happiness into somebody's heart is much more superior than having
fun. Making somebody laugh. Sorry, if you're having a joke on
somebody, especially in this kind of mean way where you make them,
you know, look for something that's not theirs, rather play a
good joke. How many good jokes have we played, where something
positive have come out of them, where somebody has benefited out
of them, where we remove somebody's distress and difficulty
out of them, we may have played jokes where, you know, we've
sprung up on somebody and frighten them. We've hidden there,
especially when it comes to married seasons, this happens
quite often, you know, in marriage in marriage, you know, the, when
the bride is coming home and the groom is coming home, you hide
their shoes, or slippers, or you don't let them into the house. I
mean, there's these weird customs that people do, right? People
might think, Oh, it's a bit of harmless funny, maybe a bit of
harmless fun, right? As long as both sides are taking it as
harmless, right? But why don't we come up with ideas where you do
something that's kind of unusual for them. And that actually
benefits them. Because to enter the happiness into somebody's
heart is far superior than to have a laugh on their behalf. That's
really, really important. And that's why, as I mentioned, we
have many bounties of Allah subhanaw taala. And we we need to
be, we need to be trying to help others just like what I mentioned
about the orphan kid, that don't say that unless, of course, you
know, all the children are, you know, they have parents and so on,
then it would be fine in that case, right. But he may even be
that another child, his father doesn't say better to him. It may
be that another mother may not address the child in the same way,
and they feel bad about this. So don't make others feel bad in the
way you do things. Likewise, don't go around showing affection to
your spouse in public.
Right, it's the same kind of thing. I mean, we're not supposed
to be doing that. Anyway, holding hands is another story, especially
like, for example, if you're in hydro, somewhere where you might
get lost or in a busy crowd, holding hands is nothing as long
as you don't show intimacy there. In fact, just yesterday, there's
an article either on the guardian or the BBC that talks about how
appropriate proper kissing is in public. I mean, you know, we
understand that that's totally wrong. As Muslims, we understand
that absolute show of intimacy in public, which is totally wrong,
that should be reserved, you know, for your privacy, right. And
people who might think that we're being just, you know, really
extremists in that regard, there's a discussion about it, it's in the
guardian of PVC, I'm sure if you, if you check, you will find it
today is about how appropriate that is, in fact, they what they
want to ban it, or discourage it in they've done it, they've
discouraged in Vienna in Austria, right, which is very west, it's a
straight, extremely modernist kind of place, right? Or postmodern
this place or either. So these are things that these are things that
we need to we need to recognize.
So Allah subhanho, wa taala, give us the Tofik to think about
others. And once you're compassionate, once we start
thinking, for example, another thing is that somebody you know,
like, somebody's got a function on on a program or something like,
they need something, you're not one of the organizers, you're not
part of the you're just the guest. I mean, you know that the people
who are organizing, they are going to be very busy. So as a guest,
okay, you're a guest, you're being hosted, you're not supposed to be
doing the work, but just to enter happiness into their hearts, you
go somewhere, and you go and get the extra cups that they need, or
the plates that they need, they'd be very happy that actually
remember that, because they really need it. And suddenly, you've just
come out of nowhere, here you go, you know, I, I thought you had
less, I just brought it along. Another one, there was a survey,
or a study actually, that was done in Vancouver in Canada, which is
that what they did was they gave different students, different
students at the university, they gave them like $10 Each or
something in the in the morning. And then some of them, they
instructed them to go and spend this on somebody else. And then
the other group is that go and spend this on yourself. So there
are two groups of the students some to spend it on themselves,
some to go and spend it on others, what they found was that those who
had spent it on themselves, you know, on an extra coffee, or just
some extra burger or something like that, you know, they they had
some kind of satisfaction with that, but those who had been told
to go and spend it on somebody else, their satisfaction rating,
you know, in their survey was much higher than having spent it on
themselves. Now, the other thing that they did was, they just
didn't do it in Canada. Right? Because Okay, Canada is a
prosperous country, what's $10 Right, like six pounds, you know,
what, what is that? That's, that's something you can spend so easily.
Now, they did this in other countries. They did this across
the world in not not in every country, but they did it in a
number of other countries, including third world countries,
and consistently they found the same thing. When you spend on
others, you get much more satisfaction. And subhanAllah.
We're told to eat we're told to we're told to give that and you
know what, there's a hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam? I believe it's related by Imam Bharani. He mentions that
good
Being sadaqa will give you a longer life, it will remove a bad,
it will remove a bad death,
an evil death, it will remove that it will repel that, and
SubhanAllah. Of course that's divine, you know, that's something
which Allah will give us. But when you are more happy in your life,
then clearly you're not going to probably have a bad death. Because
you've got happiness in your life. Giving makes you happy Subhanallah
giving makes you happy. And at the end of the day, when we give this,
obviously, all of these great things that Allah gives us, He
gives us so much more in return and so on. I mean, the talk is not
about giving, it's about doing something, it's about bringing
happiness to somebody. That's what this discussion is about. I don't
want to make it about sadaqa only, it's about in any way to bring
happiness to somebody or remove somebody's distress or be
sensitive about the way we say things. Very, it's very important
that we don't we don't say things that are going to distress
somebody, which is not important for us to say especially when it's
not important for us to say it. Just do it just to finally
conclude May Allah subhanaw taala give us the Tofik to be like the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam were when he came back
after his first encounter with Jibreel Alayhis Salam, and he came
home he was trembling and there was this fear that it could have
been some kind of evil influence or something like that. And
Khadija, the Allahu anha consoled him and comforted him by saying
that there is no way that you could have a bad influence because
you do all of these good things. And one of the things she
mentioned is that you remove the distress of people, right? You
help the people to earn that con, you pick up the burden of others.
And that's exactly what a great sunnah is of Rasulullah sallallahu
lism. So may Allah subhanho wa Taala also give us this ability,
those of us who like to joke around with people, let's, let's
be more creative and find ways to, you know, to, you can say satisfy
ourselves by doing something good for people working with that one
and it hamdulillahi rabbil aalameen
bla