Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Looking After Parents in Old Age

			Parents had to gain gender in the
hereafter to make a resolution of
		

			love and kedma for parents,
neighbors, that's there's no doubt
		

			about that one. Right, that's
something that we definitely need
		

			to do. Right. And,
		

			you know, I can't even start going
into the virtues of that. I know
		

			that it's difficult sometimes.
Because you know, you've got your
		

			own job, you've got your own
children, you've got your own
		

			families, you've got your own home
sometimes. And then your parents
		

			need help.
		

			So you have to help them. And for
that you need to prepare if you
		

			don't have parents that you need
to help from now I'm already
		

			thinking about it. I already been
through with my mother who passed
		

			away, Rahim Allah, but I'm just
thinking, that oh Allah give me
		

			from now I'm thinking about this,
that gives me from now, the
		

			ability to help my father, right?
When he comes of the age, the
		

			ability to do his kedma May Allah
subhanaw taala give me mafia until
		

			his last day. That's what I'm
saying. But Allah give me the
		

			strength to help who I need to
help. You need to stop praying for
		

			this from now, looking at the
virtues of this for now, because
		

			this is a cycle. If it's going to
happen to them, it could happen to
		

			us. If we're going to feel all
high and mighty and independent
		

			right now. Basically, weakness is
going to destroy us. Right? It's
		

			going to defeat us, once we get
weak and sick, may Allah protect.
		

			But if somebody's acted,
arrogantly, it's very possible.
		

			I've seen this so many times,
there are people who've been so
		

			aloof. So in seemingly independent
thinking, they've got nothing to
		

			contribute to anybody else. You
know, they were just selfish. But
		

			when they became sick, you could
see how defeated they were. The
		

			way they spoke to people changed.
Right, they became so much softer
		

			in their discussions with others,
because before they were arrogant.
		

			So you have to think about this,
and especially with our parents,
		

			it's our responsibility. We have
to at least repay them for
		

			bringing it up bringing bringing
us up from you know, the
		

			embryonic, say, through the
embryonic stage that the mother
		

			has to go through the pregnancy.
And then beyond that, there's no
		

			doubt about it. I mean, it's like
a no brainer to think about this.
		

			But it is difficult because we
were selfish, and we're busy about
		

			with other things. And then the
family starts
		

			this rivalry, not rivalry, but
there's actually then arguments,
		

			okay, no, you I am doing
everything, you're not doing
		

			anything. And that's really bad as
well, that sometimes, you know, we
		

			just leave it to one brother or
one sister. We need to take part
		

			as much as by Okay, somebody may
be in a better position to do
		

			because maybe they live in the
house. But we need to help to give
		

			them relief so that they find it
easy otherwise. I've seen in
		

			families where there's one son
with his wife was looking after
		

			his mother. Right? But then if
that goes on for 20 years, that's
		

			a lot of time. So if nobody else
is taking part, like okay, I'll
		

			take for the weekend. I'll help
out this time. If it's an
		

			appointment, I'll take him out.
I'll do this. I'll do that. Okay,
		

			they'll stay with you. But I'm
going to help and bring some food
		

			sometimes or whatever. That's
understandable. Then you actually
		

			lightening their burden. They'll
still do the bulk of the task, but
		

			there'll be lighting, you'll be
lightening their burden. So it has
		

			to be collaborative in that sense.