Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Looking After Parents in Old Age
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Parents had to gain gender in the hereafter to make a resolution of
love and kedma for parents, neighbors, that's there's no doubt
about that one. Right, that's something that we definitely need
to do. Right. And,
you know, I can't even start going into the virtues of that. I know
that it's difficult sometimes. Because you know, you've got your
own job, you've got your own children, you've got your own
families, you've got your own home sometimes. And then your parents
need help.
So you have to help them. And for that you need to prepare if you
don't have parents that you need to help from now I'm already
thinking about it. I already been through with my mother who passed
away, Rahim Allah, but I'm just thinking, that oh Allah give me
from now I'm thinking about this, that gives me from now, the
ability to help my father, right? When he comes of the age, the
ability to do his kedma May Allah subhanaw taala give me mafia until
his last day. That's what I'm saying. But Allah give me the
strength to help who I need to help. You need to stop praying for
this from now, looking at the virtues of this for now, because
this is a cycle. If it's going to happen to them, it could happen to
us. If we're going to feel all high and mighty and independent
right now. Basically, weakness is going to destroy us. Right? It's
going to defeat us, once we get weak and sick, may Allah protect.
But if somebody's acted, arrogantly, it's very possible.
I've seen this so many times, there are people who've been so
aloof. So in seemingly independent thinking, they've got nothing to
contribute to anybody else. You know, they were just selfish. But
when they became sick, you could see how defeated they were. The
way they spoke to people changed. Right, they became so much softer
in their discussions with others, because before they were arrogant.
So you have to think about this, and especially with our parents,
it's our responsibility. We have to at least repay them for
bringing it up bringing bringing us up from you know, the
embryonic, say, through the embryonic stage that the mother
has to go through the pregnancy. And then beyond that, there's no
doubt about it. I mean, it's like a no brainer to think about this.
But it is difficult because we were selfish, and we're busy about
with other things. And then the family starts
this rivalry, not rivalry, but there's actually then arguments,
okay, no, you I am doing everything, you're not doing
anything. And that's really bad as well, that sometimes, you know, we
just leave it to one brother or one sister. We need to take part
as much as by Okay, somebody may be in a better position to do
because maybe they live in the house. But we need to help to give
them relief so that they find it easy otherwise. I've seen in
families where there's one son with his wife was looking after
his mother. Right? But then if that goes on for 20 years, that's
a lot of time. So if nobody else is taking part, like okay, I'll
take for the weekend. I'll help out this time. If it's an
appointment, I'll take him out. I'll do this. I'll do that. Okay,
they'll stay with you. But I'm going to help and bring some food
sometimes or whatever. That's understandable. Then you actually
lightening their burden. They'll still do the bulk of the task, but
there'll be lighting, you'll be lightening their burden. So it has
to be collaborative in that sense.