Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Looking After Parents in Old Age

Parents had to gain gender in the hereafter to make a resolution of

love and kedma for parents, neighbors, that's there's no doubt

about that one. Right, that's something that we definitely need

to do. Right. And,

you know, I can't even start going into the virtues of that. I know

that it's difficult sometimes. Because you know, you've got your

own job, you've got your own children, you've got your own

families, you've got your own home sometimes. And then your parents

need help.

So you have to help them. And for that you need to prepare if you

don't have parents that you need to help from now I'm already

thinking about it. I already been through with my mother who passed

away, Rahim Allah, but I'm just thinking, that oh Allah give me

from now I'm thinking about this, that gives me from now, the

ability to help my father, right? When he comes of the age, the

ability to do his kedma May Allah subhanaw taala give me mafia until

his last day. That's what I'm saying. But Allah give me the

strength to help who I need to help. You need to stop praying for

this from now, looking at the virtues of this for now, because

this is a cycle. If it's going to happen to them, it could happen to

us. If we're going to feel all high and mighty and independent

right now. Basically, weakness is going to destroy us. Right? It's

going to defeat us, once we get weak and sick, may Allah protect.

But if somebody's acted, arrogantly, it's very possible.

I've seen this so many times, there are people who've been so

aloof. So in seemingly independent thinking, they've got nothing to

contribute to anybody else. You know, they were just selfish. But

when they became sick, you could see how defeated they were. The

way they spoke to people changed. Right, they became so much softer

in their discussions with others, because before they were arrogant.

So you have to think about this, and especially with our parents,

it's our responsibility. We have to at least repay them for

bringing it up bringing bringing us up from you know, the

embryonic, say, through the embryonic stage that the mother

has to go through the pregnancy. And then beyond that, there's no

doubt about it. I mean, it's like a no brainer to think about this.

But it is difficult because we were selfish, and we're busy about

with other things. And then the family starts

this rivalry, not rivalry, but there's actually then arguments,

okay, no, you I am doing everything, you're not doing

anything. And that's really bad as well, that sometimes, you know, we

just leave it to one brother or one sister. We need to take part

as much as by Okay, somebody may be in a better position to do

because maybe they live in the house. But we need to help to give

them relief so that they find it easy otherwise. I've seen in

families where there's one son with his wife was looking after

his mother. Right? But then if that goes on for 20 years, that's

a lot of time. So if nobody else is taking part, like okay, I'll

take for the weekend. I'll help out this time. If it's an

appointment, I'll take him out. I'll do this. I'll do that. Okay,

they'll stay with you. But I'm going to help and bring some food

sometimes or whatever. That's understandable. Then you actually

lightening their burden. They'll still do the bulk of the task, but

there'll be lighting, you'll be lightening their burden. So it has

to be collaborative in that sense.