Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Islamic Parenting Challenges
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It's our responsibility. Yes, we use the madrasa, the Mallanna sub
mothers that will start, but we can't blame. We can't put all the
blame on them. They should do the best. But we as parents have the
risk of ignorance am Rahim Allah says they have a child goes wrong
at some level the parent has to be to blame.
Right? So we have to deal with it. This is our, this is our cost.
Right? This is our crop that we are told to to be responsible for.
That's why one of the principles I would say is that there should be
nothing taboo that you can't discuss at home. And you have to
create that opening. You have to ask the chair, what did they
discuss? Did they discuss this? Did they discuss that? Is that
ever a discussion? You know, do you hear weird things from your
friends? What do you think about this? You we need to be abreast of
this because all of this stuff is discussed
Alhamdulillah Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala
Sayidina Muhammad were the early he or Safi he or Baraka was seldom
at the Sleeman.
Cathy Yan Li yo Medina,
a mother called Allahu Tabata Kota Allah Quran and Mudgee they were
four cardinal Hamid, whether he knew Allah has no one to will
alone encounter meaning.
Or call it either in the later couple, Allahu minelute Again, so
that Allahu Allahu him so our dear brothers and their sisters, their
alma, our dear organizers, Allah Tala be praised for allowing us to
be here on this evening. And this is a very, very important topic.
So I, about three years ago, I wrote a book on marriage after
being married for over 20 years and dealing with people's marriage
issues for about 20 years, I thought, let's write a book
because I think after 20 years, I thought I was qualified to write a
book about marriage.
Now people are saying you need to write a book about bringing up
children. So what I'm waiting for I've got two children over 20, but
I'm waiting for them to get married and then be settled in
marriage for at least two years, then I can say I'm gonna conquer
Yemen. Inshallah, right? Because I think that is the major major, our
our job as parents never ends. But at least one of the major hurdles,
one of the biggest hurdles, after all the small, small, small
hurdles, to get them to the right age, and then to get them married
and settled, then I think a lot of people eventually signer, they
eventually breathe a sigh of relief
was Keba, depression jasek. The right, they can still be issues
after about Allah protect us, if we've done the right job, and
we've made the right choice, then Inshallah, we should have the
right thing. So that's what I'm waiting to do. So I can write a
book about bringing up children as well. You have to be qualified to
write these kinds of things. So, Matt, just like marriage, bringing
up children is very, very, very
complicated.
It's very difficult for any one person to discuss every single
aspect that you could face when bringing up children, because
every family has a different dynamic and environment.
Some things are found in certain families and other things are not
found in certain families.
Some families have stable marital relationships, and some don't have
stable marital relationships. Some have extended families, there's
grandparents who are involved, brothers and sisters, uncles and
aunts who are involved. And in some cases, they're not involved.
All of this creates a different challenge. Sometimes we have
families that they have a very, very good system in their own
house.
But they have children, they have relatives who have a different
ethos in their house. They're your own. They're our own brothers or
sisters, children, our own cousins, but they have a slightly
different culture in their homes, they might be more strict, they
might be more liberal. Now, it's very difficult to have your
children so protected as such all in just one environment that you
can't send them anywhere else because you're scared. I've had so
many cases, I don't want to send them to my brother's house, or my
sister's house. Why? Because they let them play around. Without
control for example, they're not as strict. That's why it's so
challenging and everybody's situation is different.
Everybody's situation is different. That's why I say that
we should start praying to Allah subhanaw taala from advance that
ya Allah always make my surrounding environment, have my
own place, my own home, my own family, and the people who are
closest to me make that conducive for your love and for your faith.
Because if that's not it becomes a bigger challenge. Reason is that
children when
they,
when they are born, and then they start learning. They're like
sponges. They literally just take everything in, some internalize
it. Some ignore stuff. Others, they internalize, and they will
say something to you.
And others won't say anything, but they will internalize it, they
process it in their brain, anything that they see, the way it
works is that usually children benefit from three main
environments.
children as they grow up, the reason I am what I am, because I
took from multiple environments, multiple sources, I'm not only
what I learned from my parents, I'm not only what I learned from
my teachers, I also learned from my society, I learned from people
I visited, I looked at people I saw, maybe television, and social
media. In those days, it was also social media. But now there's
social media, everything I see, this creates a certain imprint,
certain impact, a certain source of knowledge is provided. I
learned from neighbors I learned from people in my community, I
learned from the children in the park, I learned from the
advertisements that I saw outside, I learned from my school teacher,
and from my school colleagues, Muslims and non Muslims.
These are all the different places and there's many, many more,
before there was no social media. Now there is before everybody was
quite protective over who would come into their house, they will
never let a stranger into their house and be alone. You know, with
your child alone in a room, but now many people can't help it. In
fact, that's the best way to babysit, it's for free. Now, you
can allow strangers in your home and they will babysit your
children. While you can indulge in whatever you want to do. And it's
for free, you just need an iPad, you just need a phone, you just
need a device, and they can entertain themselves for hours.
So we're living in a slightly you know, in a very, very different
world. So before the main places you would learn from was the
house, the home environment. Number two was the school that you
went to Muslim school, non Muslim school, secular school, whatever
school it was, number three was just everything else outside. That
means your neighbors people in the park. When you go shopping, the
various different things that you see there, the advertisements out
around the way people speak, and on the roads, and and so on. Now,
you've got a fourth environment, which is the social media. Right,
which 50 years ago, 40 years ago, people didn't have that's created
a big difference. A big biggest challenge. Out of all of these
environments, which is the most important environment you think,
the home that's the only one you can control. You can't control the
society outside the school you can control to a certain degree
depending on what's available. Is there a good Islamic school
available? Not every Muslim school is a good Islamic school. Right?
Whether academically or Islamically. This challenge,
there's challenges at every level there is that but that's life.
That's life. I'm not trying to paint a picture of such bleakness
to make it to create despair, that's life. These are the lives
this is not paradise. This is our test. That's the way I look at it.
And Allah subhanaw taala has asked us to ask him for help and
assistance, and whoever he makes it easy for then Al Hamdulillah.
It's easy. I know many people who were brought up without any
Islamic school. Yes, they went to McDonald's, but the normal school
there was in a secular school. Right. And Alhamdulillah, they've
come out fine. Now that's become a bit more challenging because of
the different agendas, the newer agendas of what they want to
teach. That is totally against our religion, in a number of cases
sometimes as well. It just creates another challenge. And it just
pushes us to realize that we're going to have to work harder.
We've made this country our home. This is our home, we not made it.
I mean, I didn't make this country my home it is my home, can't help
it. I've moved, I've lived in four or five other continents for
sustained at least three other continents for sustained periods,
like several months to a year in the African continent, in the
Asian continent. I've lived there for two years. And in the American
content, I've lived there for eight years. And at the end of the
day, what you have to realize is that is where you're born is
usually your home and I feel very comfortable here. So this is my
home. Some of you made this if you're an older generation, you
made this your home, but this is my home and this is my home. I
mean that's what it is. Allah put me here, and I need to make it a
better place. That's our job. It's easy to run away. Well, it's not
that easy. Where will you go to everywhere there's a challenge in
this world.
So that's why the idea is not to create despair, but just
consciousness.
I just had
had a discussion with a group of scholars in in Toronto, Canada
just a few days ago. And interestingly, what it is, is that
there's a lot of challenges outside, and we and our children
need to create an environment where these challenges are dealt
with, and our children and us, we know exactly what to do, that we
have our principles, the main thing is principles that we have
to hold on to,
there's going to be changes that will come about in the world, many
changes have already come, there'll be many, many more
changes as technology advances, the virtual world is upon us, the
Metta World is upon us, that's only going to make it more
complicated. The graphics only going to become more graphic, the
game's only going to become more so called realistic. And there's
alter egos this alter lives, this alternate lives and so on. And
it's only going to get more and more complicated. We need to have
principles without principles, we can't survive anywhere. And
Muslims are people of principle. That's why if you look at the
Islamic political system, this there's an example there's many
things like this Islamic political system, Islam doesn't provide a
one model that you must follow in, in terms of the exact details of
how it must be run of every single department and so on. What Islam
does do though, because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam, he did not name the next Hadith, the next leader, he did
not name him give lots of indications, gave lots and lots of
indications, and signs, but he didn't name them, a worker, they
became the next leaf. When obika, the Allahu Anhu was about to pass
away, he named the next leaf. So the next time he was chosen by by
the outgoing one, so we have that model. Then over there, he did
something totally different. He left it to six people or seven,
six people. But a seven person is a tiebreaker to decide among the
six which one is going to be elected among six people. So you
have multiple models. But what you do have in Islam, which Sobremesa
Mandela has left, very clearly for us are certain principles, limits
boundaries, guidelines of how the system should work. So you can
create whatever model that you want, whether it be a type of a
democracy, a type of a monarchy, right, as long as it fulfills the
Islamic principles and abides by the laws and limits, its Islamic.
It's Islamic.
So that's why if you look at the teachings of Islam, it leaves a
lot
beyond the absolute basic principles and the guidelines and
the boundaries, it leaves the rest of your culture, whatever is
allowed in there. And what the way you want to do is a lot of
flexibility.
So, likewise, when it comes to bringing up children, and leading
our life, there are
fundamental guidances of Taqwa
and love of Allah, and obedience, and her arms and prohibitions and
responsibilities and so on. They must be abided by otherwise after
that you can wear what you want. Within that guideline, you can
live how you want and live your life. And that's that's what
allows it a
baton home from one place in Pakistan is very different from a
home from Punjab.
Background. That's very different from Cindy, there are
similarities. A lot of people think you Pakistani old Pakistanis
are the same. That's not true. All Indians are the same. absolutely
not true. Multiple cuisines, multiple languages, multiple ways
of doing things. Personality difference that people in northern
India, subcontinent are very different from the people of the
Southern subcontinent. They're actually ethnically different. At
the top, you've got the
Indo
Aryans, and the South, you have the Dravidians, then nature is
different some karma than our northerners, definitely Gujarat
and up that includes much of Bangladesh and all of Pakistan,
were generally louder. You go down south towards Kerala and
would you go to Bangalore and so on? The debit cards are usually
right, you get the good and bad in everybody, depending on how they
but there's a lot of difference. A lot of people from bounce ad say
all Pakistanis are the same all Indian, they're not the same.
We got a lot of difference. hamdulillah nothing wrong with
that. But what I'm trying to say is that this is a challenge. So
I'm going to mention a few things regarding children upbringing, and
what I want you to do both the sisters as well and the brothers
is that any questions that come into your mind, just remember it
and then when I open it up for questions, because I'm trying to
learn more, I can't cover everything in a short half an hour
45 Min.
talk, I'd like to hear your question. So I can then try to
answer it. And if I don't know the answer, I'll say so. So that's,
that's what I want to do. So number one,
La ilaha illAllah. I want to start off with two stories. Just to set
the scene. Two stories. Okay, you brothers, little kids. I'm going
to tell you two stories. First story.
There's a child. He just started high school, secondary school. How
old do you have to be to start secondary school about 12 years
old? Right? I don't understand the year system is in year eight, or
you're four or five. And I'm not gonna get that. I just know the
ages. Right? About 1111 and a half to 12. Right? That's when you
start. So he was about 11 or 12. Started going to secondary school.
Now he's, his mom had told him that you have to pray though her
Salaat because it happens in school time. By the time you come
home, it's going to be finished because it's wintertime. Right? So
that's why you better pray at school. And she gave him certain
ideas. The child one day comes home from school and she says to
this child that this kid, did you pray up mother? Did you pray at
school? So he said, No, I didn't.
Should you be happy or sad?
Should be sad, mashallah, who should be who says they should be
happy instead?
You say it should be happy, right? He's guys looking at you in
amazement. Like what's wrong with you? Like, why are you happy for?
Look at this guy? He's just, like, totally like, what's wrong? No.
You sorry. Are you happy as well? Yeah. I, when I heard the story, I
felt the same. I was actually happy. I was actually very happy.
He didn't say like, I didn't pray. I don't care. I don't want to
break. He said, No, man. I didn't. I didn't get to pray. I was very,
very happy. Why? Because he told the truth. He didn't have to tell
the truth. Why did he tell the truth? Why don't we just make it
up? Oh, I prayed. She's not going to go and check. You can't go and
maybe even ask the school because I don't know what they'd say that
you, extremists you or whatever you understand. So he told the
truth is so now. She's like, why didn't you said well, I didn't
find an empty classroom.
On another occasion, this was July. They said, Did you pray to
him? I said, No, I missed my Joomla today. So how did you miss
your Joomla? He said, Well, I was going and my friend I met him and
he said wait for me. He went to do we'll do in the toilets. And then
I'm waiting, waiting. And then suddenly he's not there anymore.
He left from another exit he prayed Joomla and I'm still
waiting for him.
Right so I got there today because in school to have a very short
Joomla because they have very short break.
One kid that I know is finished now he's finished university
everything. His whole time that he went to high school he wore would
do socks.
That the expensive you know, how would you do socks are right there
like 20 pounds 18 to 20 pounds, rather than a one to two pound
pair of normal socks. Right? He had multiple socks because that
would just make it easy for him to do would do at school.
That was all prepared with the parents and a discussion.
Right to facilitate. Can you see what we're looking at here. This
one example is just to give us an example of communication planning.
God consciousness, God consciousness taqwa, which means
they recognize Allah subhanaw taala.
Okay, that's the first story. This The second story is this.
I was an imam in America for about several years. I used to teach the
older children now community and my wife used to children, younger
children, like less than 10. I used to teach the Overton so there
was some local, a local family who had not eventually they sent their
two children who are maybe seven and eight or seven or nine or
something like that was six and eight around the age two brothers,
and they were in my wife's class. So my wife was discussing Allah
subhanaw taala.
The attributes of Allah Allah is the Greatest Allah is the most
powerful.
Allah can do whatever he wants. Nobody can stand in front of Allah
subhanaw taala. Nobody can fight with Allah. Allah is the
strongest.
Do you know what happened? One of those new kids, they suddenly
shouted Power Rangers.
You know, Power Rangers.
Because in his mind, in their mind, Power Rangers was the most
powerful entity that they knew from the cartoon or something.
And, you know, so they'd been watching that. So for them in
their mind, the most powerful entity
was Power Rangers. So when they heard the description, they just
immediately connected to Power Rangers.
Would you do that?
Would you think of Power Rangers if somebody talked about the
greatest and so on? Okay, now let me give you another example. How
old are these children? Seven or eight, right?
There's another kid who's four years old, I think I think he was
about four or five maximum. They he went with his family for the
first time to the beach. This was in California is a halal Beach,
right? And you just suddenly see this immense ocean in front of
them
is immense, massive ocean Pacific Ocean. You don't even you'd go and
you just see that huge expanse of water.
Nobody asked him anything. He just suddenly said, Allah made this.
Why did he say that?
He must have just stopped because he'd been taught, you know, he'd
been discussing Allah he'd been taught about Allah. So when he saw
the monster put two and two together, nobody can make the only
Allah can make this. Not Power Rangers, not Grayskull not
Incredible Hulk, not Scooby Dooby Doo.
Allah subhanaw taala.
We've been told. I mean, I said the Sharia gives us guidelines.
The first words to enter into the ears of the baby should be what
the Athan the full whack the other one. That's why I would suggest
that if a woman finds herself in hospital, she's just given birth.
Don't wait for the Mallanna sob to come. Or for your husband to come
just do it yourself. If it's going to be a well then you want the
first words there. In fact, I was so careful that I spoke to the
nurses in advance because they had this soft music play. I said, I've
got a bit of a ritual that I want to take care of. And I want you
you know, I'd like to request you that, you know, I don't want any
other sound I don't even want you to tell me as a boy or girl. I
don't want you to say anything. Because there's some things I need
to say first. So I just want you to give the baby to me as soon as
Bong wrap it up and just give it to me and then there's a certain
you know, ceremony I need to do. So mashallah they play ball with
us, you know, they say the game and then I just said the first
word I wanted in my children's, and I did this with all of them is
Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
I want to give them a good start in life, that's the minimum I can
do, right? If I can give my child a good start in life by first
thing going into the ears is Allah, then hopefully, when they
die, the last words on his lips will be Allah as well.
When a baby comes into this world, it comes from the realm of Allah,
from the abode of souls, where they've had an experience with
Allah. So when they come in, we just remind them of Allah as the
first thing. Then what I did was after the event, I had a tape
player, a small Walkman in those days, now you can do it on your
phone. Those days, you had a Walkman. And I put Sheikh Romney
on, and I remember him whimpering, like crying, like and then I put
the shades on video and that beautiful sounds, and my shell, I
stopped crying. And I just wanted the first words, the first hours
in fact, Quran Quran Quran,
I think he's benefited him. I was so particularly in my I'm not as
strict anymore. But I was so particular in the beginning that
with with my eldest,
we wouldn't go into a shop, if there was music in there.
One of us would stand outside, the other one would go in and buy
whatever was needed and they'd come out. I didn't want him to
listen to any music while he was growing up. I didn't want him to
hear any junk.
Because I think that's beneficial.
Everything you do is going to pay off eventually. It's not, you're
not wasting your time, everything you don't go to extreme, like, I
don't want him to see anybody, you know, Swan, Allah, you know, you
know what I'm saying? You can't go extreme with this. But you do, you
do need to do the rest, because that's our job, our responsibility
to give them the best option in life. That's why Subhanallah
because the mother is the first
place of education for any child more than the Father the father is
as well. But usually the father is going out earning money and, you
know, trying to bring food on the table and, and so on. Hopefully
that's what he's doing. Right? The mothers job is usually with the
child feeding the child nursing the child and much closer to the
child, Allah subhanaw taala has given that amazing relationship
with the mother that the child, you know, you know, if the father
starts telling the child off, where does the child go? runs
away, right? And if the mother starts telling the child of where
does the child go the infant, you know if it is a little two year
old kid, right and the mother shouts at the child, What the
Where does that child go?
For you, Michelle, usually goes back to the mother is like hugs
the mother even further than her mother shouting I am and it goes
back to
In a mother, Subhan Allah. And if the father shouts, then they go to
the mother. Sometimes it's the opposite sometimes, but most of
the time, it's like this, right? So now,
do you know a friend of mine, he said, is a really interesting set,
he said that a righteous mother
can give a 15 to 20 year Headstart to their child, on the path of
Allah,
compared to a non righteous woman,
that if you if the, if the child can have a righteous mother, then
they already set up on the path of Allah.
Because the child is going to be under the parents, at least for
the first 15 years minimum. And the mother is constantly guiding
from the time she's nursing him and feeding him and changing him
and putting him to bed and all the rest of it. They're already
setting them on the right path.
If the mother and father aren't like that,
and she might be nursing the child, but she's watching
EastEnders, let's finish nothing Netflix.
She's catching up on
Lollywood.
Drama.
Nollywood is the Pakistani version of Hollywood.
Right. And there's Bollywood is the Indian version. So she's
watching drama and Barbara drama, right?
In which there's all sorts of stuff going on, you can see what
I'm saying, I'm not giving any fatwa here, I'm just telling you
to think about these things. There's a big difference between
the, you know, there's one, whenever she's feeling she's
saying Bismillah. And she starts, and when she's feeling She's
saying she's reading Quran or she's doing some vicar, there's
going to be a big difference between that and somebody who's
gossiping with their friends, about all sorts of things, just
points to think about.
Because we're sending them on the path. This doesn't mean that a
father can go and do whatever he wants, he needs to contribute in a
positive way to all of this, both need to do it. Children learn from
both and both are important for children. Both are very important
for children, you can't have a lopsided relationship, if a child
is brought up by just the mother, there is going to be an imbalance.
Likewise, more seldom, if a child is brought up just by the Father
with no mother figure there, that's going to be tough. That's
going to be psychologically a non balanced upbringing. We need both
the mother and father, they both need to be on the same vibe.
Unfortunately, what's happening is many, many of us are being caught
up in the whole liberal attitude of the West. Right. So this is
something that I just discussed, as I was discussing in Toronto.
And this was an observation by one of the people he says that so many
parents have already embraced the liberal framework that they abide
by themselves. And they make their children predisposed. Sorry,
children. That's a bit of a complicated word. Right? They make
their children predisposed to accepting any liberal ideas
that have no problem with certain sexual vices that Muslims see as
problems that are being promoted nowadays. Because they have
liberal attitude, they're willing to accept what's like, what's
wrong with that.
That what's wrong with that?
We're seeing that now coming to our McAdams.
What's wrong with those relationships? What's wrong with
those, which in Islam, they're not condoned at all.
They have seen no problem with that, because they brought up to
think liberally.
In that sense.
The home should be a place where the children should be able to
come and discuss because as I said, the home is the main
environment out of the three or four environments we have. You
can't control what goes on in all the other environments, but you
should be able to,
in the house be a place where the children can come and literally
discuss anything they want. Nothing should be taboo to discuss
our home. They should feel so comfortable with their parents, at
least or at least with one of them, if not both of them, at
least like with the mother or the father that they can say at school
we were discussing gender fluidity.
We were discussing the teacher was discussing
Judaism, Christianity, atheism,
they should be able to come home and get an answer. Get guidance.
You might say McDermott Yaga. Dave here. That's a secondary source.
The primary source is always the house. If you can't find a good
teacher for your children, it's still our responsibility. We
cannot going to tell her that I couldn't find a good teacher.
Well, when you go and find a good teacher for yourself first.
You
See what I'm saying? It's our responsibility. Yes, we use the
madrasa, the Mallanna sub mothers that will start, but we can't
blame. We can't put all the blame on them. They should do the best.
But we as parents have the reason I am Rahim Allah says if a child
goes wrong, at some level, the parent has to be to blame.
Right? So we have to deal with it. This is our, this is our cost.
Right? This is our crop that we are told to, to be responsible
for. That's why one of the principles I would say is that
there should be nothing taboo that you can't discuss at home. And you
have to create that opening, you have to ask that your What did
they discuss? Did they discuss this? Did they discuss that? Is
that ever a discussion? You know, do you hear weird things from your
friends? What do you think about this? You we need to be abreast of
this because all of this stuff is discussed. There's some parents
who pull their children out of * education, you know, when they're
going to have it in school. So that you know, there is no
inappropriateness. But the problem is, the next day, the child knows
everything because their friends tell them about it from a
secondhand source. So you better discuss this at home, you know, in
some level or the other. We can't have it where we keep if you got
brothers and sisters and a sister is not praying or the mother is
not praying because she's on her monthly period. Right? That you
keep telling the children every month that oh, your mom is sick.
That's why she's not praying. menstruation is health is not
sickness, it's healthy to have menstruation. What do you say
them? You don't have to advertise it. They because remember, if
everybody's sitting down, right, and then suddenly isn't the most
time is prayer time. And the boys go to pray. The father goes to
pray. But the mother is not premium in a year. No one's
neighbor, he was stronger.
Why isn't she bring mom you didn't pray? Children are very smart
about these things? Why didn't she pray? Well, a simple thing is
that, you know, women, girls after they reach a certain age, Allah
lets them off for like 5789 days, because they go through some
bodily changes in their stomach. So that's why they don't have to
pray in that in that time. So that, you know, right, under the
symbol.
I mean, we've never had any boys saying That's discrimination. Why
can't boys do that as well? Hamdulillah we don't have that
discrimination yet. Right.
But you see what I'm saying? It's very important. We need our homes
to be such that the children feel comfortable to be in the house
rather than anywhere else. Yes, they don't mind being in other
places, but very chill, children hate being in the house, they'd
rather be with their friends somewhere. There's a problem. Or
if they like to be in the house, but not with everybody else. They
like to be in their room on a gadget door closed. That's another
problem. Again, I'm giving guidelines. That means there's
something going on, we're not making it exciting.
We're not making it where they feel. There's a study that they
did
these children in the park 1314 year olds, right. And one of them
comes up with a can of spray. And then he says to the to one of
them. Right? How will they
your 10 Imagine kid gives you a kind of sprain says do some
graffiti on this building?
Would you do it? Do you know what graffiti is? Yeah.
He gave it to you. And they're all saying that? You better do it.
Don't be scared. Don't be a chicken.
We didn't do it. What would you do?
You put it down. But then they're all like on your case, there's so
much pressure on you that if you don't do it, you can't be with us.
Right to be with us. You have to be cool. You have to be like this,
you better do it. Otherwise, you're a chicken, you can't be
with us, then what would you do?
Would you just stand there? And we'll just listen to him. See,
this is important.
What do you think you're older than him? What's your how old? Are
you?
14 A perfect age. What would you do?
Like just be honest, you're not doing it? I'm just wondering what
you would do if you're in that case, because we have to teach
everybody you know, what would you do?
You'd give it back. And then what just stand there or what?
You see, the only way you can save yourself is go. Because if you
stood there, it'll just keep on your case. So what they noticed is
many of them actually did it. Because it's what you call this
this peer pressure. What you call is you don't want to do something.
It's against what you've been taught and what you believe in.
But because everybody's pressuring you, you feel like I want to fit
in. That's why I do it. You feel like you want to fit in. You want
to be their friends because they're cool. You think they're
cool, right? And you want to be cool. Maybe they've got a gang? Do
you understand what I'm saying? That's why you will end up doing
it. They said that the people who were successful are those who
walked away. Why did they walk away because they knew that they
didn't need these people. So what if they were not going to be their
friends anymore? They had a house to go to that they knew was
welcoming and warm and friendly.
But if you don't have that they want to belong somewhere else. But
if they have that belonging at home, then regardless of what
Insha Allah, they will think I don't need this. I've got a decent
home to go back to, I've got somewhere to go to. And of course
they might have good friends to go to. This is big peer pressure. So
the successful one, one's archery.
Mohamed, the successful one, one were the ones who like, I'm not
doing this and they walked off. He didn't care what happened
afterwards.
Do you understand? That's what you call it peer pressure. It's tough
to dress a certain way. And to be a certain way, you wouldn't
believe it. But I'll tell you how I was affected once.
My mum used to wear the face covering Allah bless her reward
her she's passed away. Now May Allah give a place in general for
those. And I don't know how old I was. Maybe I was about nine or 10.
And she wanted to take me out to buy shoes. And I don't know what
came over and said I'm not gonna come. So why not? Because you were
in a club. I started feeling embarrassed.
I don't know. I don't know. I'm just I'm just being just being
honest with you. 100 After I went to the madrasa and all of that,
that shaytaan just left Alhamdulillah order that shaytaan
left. I remember one seven for Hajj. And my uncle and auntie my
uncle was a Mufti. Right. And he came to stay with us. They just
recently got married or something. And they had no children of their
own. They came to look after us when the day my mom is coming to
coming back. My parents are coming back from Hajj. They wanted all of
us to dress in Islamic clothing. I refused.
I refused. I said no, I'm not going to wear that.
You know, my brothers, I think they did. I didn't
hamdulillah Allah Tala took the shaytaan away that I don't feel
like that I'm very bold and very confident now, in the way I've
never, you know, had to dress any other way after this after that.
So these are challenges that you will go through
the the challenges that you will go through, you have to do
something, a lot of the time, I've noticed that if you've got a child
who is very stubborn about something,
then a lot of the time you can't help them directly.
Because there's a distrust. They view you in a certain way already.
So for you to say anything is suspicious.
The only thing I found to be beneficial, as in my case was to
change the scene to go somewhere else. That was decent, and re that
also emphasize the same points, but it was coming from somewhere
else.
I've seen this in cases where they've got a son or daughter,
they're kind of not on track.
They can tell them what they want. They've got a righteous
environment at home, but it just sometimes just doesn't work.
The only way to do it is to get them in
a similar ethos somewhere else. In one case, they sent one of them
into a mother. So
you can try to find a new set of friends, whether that be in
another country in another area or whatever. When they see the same
thing, because a lot of children what they think, in some ways you
call it religious homes, is that it's only my parents who are like
this, because my friend's parents, they let them wear what they want.
They let them do what they want.
Right.
That's why it's very important to have relationships. If you don't
have that in your family, because they say, well, all my cousins,
they don't do it. They don't wear hijab, they don't have to pray or
whatever. Then you better find some friends that you develop,
really invite them over for food, you go to their house or whatever,
so that you can actually show them that you're not the only one in
the world that this is not some zoom on you. This is not some
impression on you. Giving ideas children need to see others doing
it looks like there's some family programs that take place and I
think we need to do more of them. Where they see other children
doing the same thing. Mashallah, in our local masjid, what they've
done is they've had this was called Fajr nights, or Fajr
mornings or Fajr nights. So over these holidays, they've enticed
the children encourage the children to come for Fisher. And
your name gets written down that you've come for all these features
you're gonna get tomorrow, the price giving ceremony. So
whoever's prayed Fajr for all of these days in the masjid over the
holidays, they're gonna get a price. That is something that, you
know, you see that inquiry Now somebody might say, but that's not
sincerity. Well, we get them used to that then the sincerity will
come afterwards, Inshallah, we're going to have to be more creative
because a lot of the countries we came from, there was at least some
Muslim ethos there.
In the air, there was Islam somewhere the other, but here, we
have to create all of these ideas. So we have to really think a lot
for these things. Social media is a big thing. That's why parents
are going to have to be knowledge
Well about the way social media works.
You have to know who your children's friends are.
You have to know who your children's friends are
and who they're visiting online and who they're speaking to online
who they're playing games with. You know you if you want to play
fortnight you can play with players in other places, you
better know who you're playing with, because there's lots of
random guys that try to come in. And then you know, there's lots of
it gets really bad it could Allah Tala, he fazilka. Allah, Allah
protect me could get grooming and things like that. So you have to
be aware.
For example, when I was teaching in America, there was a big hype
about Harry Potter.
Everybody was reading Harry Potter books. This was before the movies.
Everybody was reading about Harry Potter. Like, what's the first Why
is everybody reading and going on about it. So I read one of them.
I was like, I need to find out. And he was mashallah very, very
gripping. So very, very attractive story. And never got the chance to
read all the rest. But I had to read one just to understand what
the hype is about, you have to stay abreast of this. What my wife
does is that she'll check the books that they're reading right
now and just skim through them, just to see if they're at the
right level, because books are getting a lot more crazier these
days than they used to be before. Right? So you have to just stay
abreast with all of these things and just do your best. If you
don't do your best, you know, that then when they grow up, you know,
initially it's easy, but when they become teenagers, the
relationships, you have to constantly adjust your
relationship, you can't use the same strategies when they're less
than 1213. For after 1213, you have to adjust. Parents have to be
flexible.
So
this is again, I'm just giving some principles here, you have to
be very flexible. And number three, right? You can't win all
the battles.
You can't win all the battles, you do your best. You pick the main
battles, otherwise, you'll just be you'll just destroy the whole
thing. I would say that the relationship between a TJ teenager
and their parents in some cases is like a relationship where they're
both tied by a thread. And it's a tug of war with a
thread like a hair strand. If you pull too much, you're gonna break
it. But you can't let go too much either. It's constantly back and
forth, back and forth.
You have to be clever about the things that you do.
And ask for guidance. Ask others who've done this. I don't think
there's enough practical books about there's lots of books about
bringing up children with just the Hadith and Quran giving you the
general guidances but we need more examples
just a few other things.
I think one of the things that benefitted me to choose the path
of becoming a half is in Ireland and so on is well one could be
because both my grandfather's were half is of the Quran. My father
was Ireland. My uncle was a Mufti and My other uncle is a half is
and he just ran in the family. Right it just right that's easy.
That might not be your case. But it can become your case for your
children. If for your children and their grandchildren. You can set
that up
one person I know all of her cousins brothers they all have is
of the Quran like 1015 of them they all have his of the Quran
now. None of the ones none of her uncle's other.
He just became that next generation. However, the main
thing I think that got me into this deen and always made me love
this team. And may Allah continue that, of course is the grace of
Allah and somebody's do ours, but I think it was because in my home,
the religion was glorified.
The faith was respected and honored. When there was somebody
who had become half is of the Quran or a big scholar was coming.
They were spoken about with respect.
Like, look at that guy. He's just become half is of the Quran, masha
Allah, that gives some encouragement. Right? Rather than
saying like, I don't know why he did his he, I mean, there's some
extreme people's like, he wasted his talent, he should have become
a doctor sob.
Why can't you do Hibbs and Dr.
Act you can have that right. But unfortunately, some cultures we
come from there's a dichotomy between L and education as though
they can't meet you either do this or you do that? And mashallah, the
modern world you can do both. I can give you so many examples.
I know so many people with Master's and PhD degrees and
they've also become an island.
One of the best for your children. So glorify the dean in your home.
Okay, and I could say a lot more but what I'll do is because I want
to leave you questions is David
Allah consciousness of Allah subhanho wa Taala in the house and
lucky but the hula hoop girl in the house, what do you mean by
that?
You know, you're going to have new clothes, you're going to have
delicious dishes and food that's going to happen, right? There's
going to be other things that will come about every time that
happens, you start thanking Allah allowed. When did you tell him
Dwapara the other one is, we've had a good meal and I'm so
thankful to Allah that He gives us this.
Now when somebody hears somebody constantly thanking Allah for the
goods that they have, doesn't the respect of Allah grow.
You acknowledge that it comes from Allah.
You have for example, there's somebody who gave us some herbal
teas, you know those pukka teas? They're really nice. They're you
gave us and my son never drinks tea and then suddenly he he just
starts drinking tasted that cinnamon there's a cinnamon one in
there. I don't know he got hooked on every day is having cinnamon
pecan cinnamon tea.
This is what I told him I said that, you know the brother who
gave us this, you need to make dua for him every time you have this
tea. And of course you need to thank Allah but you need to also
make dua for the brother.
You have to teach them gratitude.
Okay, let me give you an example. What's your name? Mr. Black with
orange zip.
Imad, a mod means the pillar.
Right Imam means reliance on the pillar. Right? So you need to be
strong. And suddenly do you have a guy in your class who bothers you
would like bothers you a lot?
Nobody? Do you bother everybody
who's got a friend in class who's a bit bothersome. You got one.
Okay, so how are you going to deal with that guy?
Right shall tell you even a better way. Make dua for him that Oh
ALLAH sought this guy out.
Don't make him bothersome. Because otherwise he's gonna be in your
class for the next 234 or five years and you're constantly gonna
have to be on your tiptoes with him. Make dua Oh ALLAH sought this
kind of Allah sought us out, make us have a good relationship. Have
you ever thought about doing that? Now you do that, and inshallah
Allah will accept you to us, it might take a few days, or a few
weeks, but you're gonna get rewarded for your DUA and
Inshallah, if that works is great.
Likewise, if you have some bad neighbor, or whatever they can,
you can keep swearing at them in front of your children, and tell
them what bad things and do Heba do him do offer them,
we're going to have to change the way we do things, so that our
children pick this up. Otherwise, they can't learn this anywhere
else, they have to pick it up from us, unless they're very lucky. And
they find some really inspirational friend or teacher or
something, we need to provide them this thing, raising the name of
Allah in the house. One thing which is really, really important
that I found that has benefited us immensely is reading to the
children when they young, from stories of prophets and others,
what that does is that it creates a love for books, because they see
the mother or the father reading from a book. So and it's a really
interesting story before they go to sleep, right, they got a time
to think about it. And it's associated to a book, so that when
they grow up, until you give them a phone, then or certian, answer
each other, it's a purchase, then then you basically mess everything
up. But until then, they love reading books. That's what I
experience. And plus those stories at bedtime, young, the stories of
the prophets and the sahaba.
They are immensely powerful, in conveying to them the right kind
of manners and conduct and behavior and personalities and
role models. We invested in a lot of books, right? And my wife used
to read a lot to them, right until they're like six, seven years, or
whatever it is, and then they just read for themselves now.
But that's very, very important to have that relationship. There's
lots of other stuff, but I think I've said a lot already. And
the most important and enduring relationship. Marriage, sorry,
relationship that you may ever enter enter into.
Is when you bring a child in this world, that relationship is not an
optional relationship. Once a child comes, that's it. With a
spouse you can divorce. But a parent child relationship is what
Allah gives you. An if it's good is great. If it's bad, try to make
it good. Or do sovereign get reward for it. And Allah subhanaw
taala make it easy. Income, jobs, friendships, health, and even
marriage may come and go. But your role as parents lasts as long as
you live.
Your children are always going to be your children, even when you
become 70. And they're 50. The stereotype
Hold on at the end of the day, right?
Parenting is probably the most profound responsibility any adult
can ever take her on.
That's the most difficult responsibility, because it's
constantly changing.
The subject of your relationship constantly changes, when they
become teenagers a different relationship. And when they become
young adults, it's a different relationship, your responsibility
changes. So when they become 17, when they become 1819 20, you have
to get them ready for marriage Now,
give you bait. I mean, we're not talking about that right now. But
basic, we may teach the girls to cook and clean, right.
And a lot of the time the guys, the boys, they get scot free, they
don't get taught anything. They just get taught how to make money.
What we need to teach them is how to pay bills, how to do small
handiwork in the house, this is stuff they're gonna have to do
when they get married, how to maybe look at how to fix it up,
at least watch or who to call when you do that, and stuff like that.
How to do shopping.
Otherwise, they get married and all they're doing. And then they
blaming each other. totally clueless, because the parents did
not teach them what they needed to do. So my responsibility keeps
changing. And then after that, when they get married, you need to
teach them the realities of marriage. Who else is going to
teach them otherwise they're going to watch movies and figure it out,
or figure the wrong thing out. There's lots to do lots to do May
Allah subhanaw taala make it easy? And let me stop here. So that I
can take some questions in sha Allah. Allah Allah, Allah make it
easy for us. Bismillah Sheikh What advice would you give to those
working parents that don't have as much time and energy to spend on
children, a stay at home parents, I would say that,
really, honestly, look at your income, look at your lifestyle,
and your needs.
readjusted so that you don't both have to work crazy hours like you
do. Let the mother stay at home and look after the children they
need you as the best your biggest responsibility. If that means
downsizing, if that means having less expensive items, you know,
using secondhand sofas, not having the latest TV, let that be it
because it's bigger responsibility.
Right. That's generally what it is. That's generally what the
issue is.
Right? Manage your finances.
And do that. Start with a part time job. Come down from a full
time to a part time, you'll have time otherwise, I see that. You
see we teach an Iftar course a Mufti course, for women as well.
And we've seen that the most successful women to complete the
course are those who are not married at all, yet. They've got
no responsibilities. And they it's a full time job. It's a full time
work, or those who have children, but now they're over 10 years of
age, they're in routine, they're at school. So they've got them in
school. So they only studying with us while the children at school.
Because when your child is at home, you need to be there.
So give up your job while your children until they're 1213, then
maybe you can get a job. If you don't do that, you're going to be
in trouble. You're you know, Hamdulillah? That's an honest
question. So the world is not everything that dunya dunya dunya?
Yes, you need a certain amount, but you just don't need to waste
your time with that. And what advice would you give to parents?
Where one parent is teaching Islamic rules? How do you treat
your children equally? Children only for them to be overridden by
the other parent? How would you deal with this? That is very
complicated. That's why I didn't want to talk about marriage. But
when you're you need to have the right partner. Because this is a
future relationship for the rest of your life, marriage, you need
to be on the same wavelength.
Otherwise, it's going to be each partner undermining the other, the
children are going to then get confused.
They're going to become unstable in that regard. Or, worse, still,
they'll start
using one parent over the other.
And that just gets worse and worse, you really need to get
counseling sooner than later in your own relationship.
This is the Sometimes the problem is that a guy finds a way for a
wife finds a husband and they both very, you can say not very
religious. So that's what they looked for on the best model in
town. You know, I want you know, and then they get married and then
one of them becomes religious. And then they want the other to become
religious as fast and it doesn't work that way, always. So you have
to strategize for the best possible ability, the best
possible way for the both parents to come on the same platform and
agree on certain things. Have a negotiation. Get somebody to
counsel you
You saw that relationship, otherwise it's going to give lots
of problems to your children.
Allah make it easy. I'm giving short answers, right? Number
three, how do we explain to your spouse that Islamic values should
take precedence over culture? I think the same thing that I said
above, same thing that I said, they shouldn't be listening to
this talk, for example, they should maybe listen, because you
telling them and if they sick of you telling them, have somebody
else tell them.
But you better do something about it.
What advice would you give to parents of teenage girls that face
peer pressure to use phones and social media apps, as most
children are talking about what happens on this app? And those
parents whose children spend a lot of time on their phone, using
social media apps? How can we restrict them and what is a good
explanation to them? You have to start this from beforehand, so
that they know that when they get social media is not the harms.
What I've done before is I've, there's YouTube videos, and
written research on the harms of social media, the addictions of
it, withdrawal symptoms. So if they don't want to listen to you,
I say, look, read this, watch this video how these video games work.
I remember there was an interview with
the guys who are creating the sound effects of a famous video
game, I forget which one it was fortnight or something as as the
next one was going to come out and interview. And they were showing
how they go through so much testing and studies with the human
mind, to see how the exact sound effects and music will keep you on
the balls of your feet will keep you active, not make you bored,
not make you weary and tired, and keep you active. To keep you into
it is a lot of psychology that goes into it. A lot of money is
spent on doing that. It's not just random music and sound effects.
It's to give you that adrenaline that dopamine. So I think if your
children are, they should understand that. We've explained
to them how some of the big guys like your Bill Gates and others,
sorry, are
these big social media, guys who created this, they don't let their
children play on it. But you see you telling them Won't you let
them read this, let them watch a documentary. And hopefully that
will help them and effect them in that right way. And we could maybe
in Masjid try to create, you know, more forums in which they can come
and discuss these things, and they can impart these things.
How do you treat your children equally? You just treat them
equally. Like just don't treat them unfairly?
Like, I mean, how do I answer that question?
You know, when you give a general question like that I can't answer
because I don't know what do you mean by equally? Like, just be
equal? Like what's wrong with you?
I don't mean to be bad about this. What I'm saying is that when you
when you have a question like this and give some more detail, like
what do you mean equal? In what?
Right? So please rewrite your answer in more detail. So I
understand what you're talking about. Otherwise, I can't do
justice to the answer. All I can say is, don't be unfair.
I'll give you one Hadith, Robert Solow. Similar there's one guy, he
had some children from one wife, I think, and other children from
another wife, so that one wife wanted him wanted that child to be
given a very specific gift.
So after he gave the gift,
she said to the husband, I want you to go to the Prophet
sallallahu Sallam and make him witness to this gift.
But make we problem Knickerbocker maybe, right, and we need so the
poor man he came to the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he said, I've
given this child of mine this gift. I want you to bear witness
and I promise Hello, son and probably figured it Okay, Hank,
which doll makalah
right, there's some Gerber there's some problem.
Right?
So he said, Did you give all of your children the same amount? He
said, No. They said no. Why are you making me a witness to
something which is unfair like this?
Somebody. Now you are allowed to give if there's more need for a
child you are allowed to give. But if it's to deprive another one,
then that is completely wrong. Your children if they feel that
you are doing favoritism, that is one of the most detrimental things
that you could do. Your relationship will be messed up
with that child, they will remember that. We have some weird
cultural things. I'll tell you a little kid. Five, six years old,
an auntie will tell him as a joke. That Do you know that your mom is
not real, real mum.
They found you and they're looking after you.
I've had this experience with a few kids this So Julian Jonathan's
culture, some people do this. It's detrimental. Don't do this kind of
stuff. Then you will say Oh no, I'm joking. It'll leave a scar. It
will leave a doubt in their mind about this. Like, is that really
my mom? is
very dangerous. There's some really weird cultural things that
we do something
Times number one. If you're misbehaving, Melissa Koberlein
multicell KUBU lying will keep retiring. I'm going to call her
Molly sob to beat you up. Very, very wrong because what you're
doing is that you're making the Melissa ghost or some kind of gin
or some kind of scary guy. That's why they were like it when it
comes to the mothers even the guy saw nice. The parents are making
them into a bogeyman.
Very bad.
I don't think my parents ever did that.
Then
you're you should never scare people or scare your children with
religious people because you're frightened psycholinguistics
for example, I was speaking to my I was in the masjid. And my child
young kid, at that time, he bought a toy with him.
So I was speaking to in Gujarati at a time and the word I use for
toy was in English, I said toys instead of the Gujrati word for
it.
So the whole conversation was in Gujarati, but the word for toy was
in English. So I said toy
in Gujrati,
apne Toys R kilo, like you know that. That's what you'd say?
Friend of mine who cerium he said, That's very wrong, what you just
said. I said, What do you mean? He said, What you're doing is you're
associating fun things with the English language.
And I'm just getting a bit deep. But you're associating fun things
with the English language. So they think that the English culture is
more fun than your Gujarati culture or do culture. So don't
associate wrong things with wrong thing. Another thing that I like
to mention is that, you know, we use baby words for certain objects
and certain things when you're like, do do pillow. Would you say
that to another adult, thorough doo doo? Pina?
Do you understand? But you'd say that to children, like do do
pillow?
And you'd say, Do you know some other words like that?
Is there any other baby words that?
Do do and what else is there? Okay, so you use it, and that's
fine. At a young age, we've hardly we stopped very soon, how long are
you gonna do this one's gonna become 10 1215 You're still
recording it do do. Like, come on, let your children grow up. You
know, don't keep them babies. And that's very important. Don't
mollycoddle them. Let them live in a way that they can sustain
themselves. This there's two families, their fathers or
brothers and the mothers or sisters in to understand their
fathers or brothers. And the mothers sisters, the one family
they should let their children go out with a controlled environment,
let them go on their own. The other one didn't like to
protective. mollycoddle was some men will take him everywhere and
you know, not let them learn how to live on their own. And just a
big difference in the way they were brought up afterwards.
You have to give them some kind of independence and adulthood and
responsibility. Very important. Don't bring them up as though
they're princes and princesses.
You understand? Like they just can't say that you're a princess,
you're a princess is big harm. Or you're a prince. You know that
because they might start actually thinking there. But they've got no
kingdom. They got no throne to look for that we're going to have
a rude awakening. Understand?
Okay, how do you treat your child Okay? Dealing with teenage girls
attitude, rudeness. It's tough. Because there's so much social
pressure, they learn it from others, very tough. That's why you
need to find them better friends, find others, take them to some
programs where they can learn these attitudes. There needs to be
special classes that we organize for our teenage girls and boys
beyond the local normal market up until the age of 12. Where they
dealt with in a teenager as a young adults to become more
serious. Do you know that one quarter of teenagers, especially
the girls that have mental health issues, they're suffering from
mental health issues? The world is not giving them an easy way that
promising them and enticing them with these
things that are like what how they should look how they should smell,
how they should appear makeup and be with boys and all that stuff,
which is unattainable.
And they really confused. Allah make it easy.
How do you advise those youngsters who are far away from the gym, I
need more detail.
So let's find sometimes you just need to give them some time away
and they'll eventually learn. I think I have noticed that if
you've taught them well, at a young age, they might still become
corrupt when they become teenagers. For some reason, they
usually come back. But what I've noticed with those who have not
had a decent upbringing and to the age of nine or 10 are good mucked
up system Love of Allah consciousness of Allah, then it's
much more difficult because they don't want to come back
To unless they get lucky, and they get some good. MashAllah tarbiyah
from someone.
Sometimes when a child wants to come back on the straight path,
but their family is not supportive and live in a demotivating
environment. Yeah, that's not very good. That's not very useful. That
was just a comment, Allah make it better. Okay, any questions from
you guys?
Or are you leaving it to the women to ask the qualifications? I've
tell that with all of their questions.
Ticket, that's fine. So just cross those out and send the rest, or
I'll do it.
The naming of the child Yes. Find a name that is good in meaning,
easy to say. And not so corruptible in the way people will
say it. Personally, I would say avoid double names. Nobody uses
them except the parents.
I don't know, Muhammad Yusuf. And then Ali, they have a surname as
well. Nobody uses the double names. You find one good name. And
it's confusing. If you have a double name constantly have to
write in every official, you have to write the whole thing. Some
people call you the first name, someone call you the middle name,
or the second name or whatever. It's confusing. Find names and
good meanings. Right? And don't try to find an exotic name so that
they see you're trying to set them up to be the next YouTube star.
A branding name.
You know, I get some handle. I'll give you example. The other day I
got a call from a sister. She said that I'm having a child or
whatever. I have a question about a name. I said, What's the name
said? Isaiah.
And it really ticked me off. Because I've had questions about
somebody saying that can we call her Hannah instead of Havana?
Because they want to kind of keep it close but anglicized so they
can kind of fit in. But this one was really taken the MC Isaiah
instead of instead of Isha, which is the original Arabic, I'm like,
Where'd you get that name from? I found it somewhere. It just Why do
you want to keep it? Oh, to make it easy for non Muslims to say the
name. I said, you're trying to make it easier for non Muslims to
say the name but how do you think your own Indian Pakistanis are
gonna say that name?
How would you say?
Isaiah? Isaiah. Yeah, you're the old Huck.
Journalists. And I said, What are you trying to do?
I said, you know, the problem with that name will be that when I hear
that name, it just reminds me of the book of Isaiah. The biblical
work, it's a biblical name I hadn't even seen on Moses did that
Christians with that name? Very few.
Why would you choose that name, there's an identity issue. You
want your child to be constantly asked, Are you muslim?
Because your name is Isaiah? Your name is Aaron instead of Harun.
Okay, is a convert. That's understandable. The guy is not a
convert, you've given them our Aaron instead of Harun? Like why
would you do that? I try to be of another try. But you're trying to
be of another,
you know, another culture.
So yes, I understand. I mean, if you want exalt, if you want unique
names, I've got quite a few for you that were names of maybe
Sahaba, or Debian or something like that. But don't just look
online and people look online, they find a weirdest names, right?
And they don't make any sense in Arabic or Persian or whatever.
They you know, you can find a good name, that's fine. But just be
very careful. The province often used to change weird names to good
names, because names have an effect because you're constantly
going to be called some that name. And I think there's a subliminal
effect of that. Well, that's a different issue where Aslam likes
to call himself, Sam. And Muhammad suddenly becomes a Moga. Right?
And I don't know. I mean,
I don't like that.
You know, if you're trying to hide your identity, how far are you
going to hide it?
And what's the purpose of hiding it? We've seen the hypocrisy
of the way they dealt with the Qatar World Cup.
You know, I think there's I hope that even many liberal people who
didn't believe that there's any conspiracy, or that there's, you
know, that there's sincerity they would learn from the World Cup.
How much hypocrisy there is? Why did the BBC not show the opening?
The opening ceremony of the World Cup?
Why don't they show the players when they bow down, for example?
Why are they critical? There was nothing good, even though majority
people are saying it's the best World Cup.
You can see the hypocrisy. Nobody's going to be happy with
you. And if somebody is you'll be happy until your death then what
are you going to do in the hereafter? Do something so that
you are happy in this world and the hereafter?
Jesup next question, you
All right, if you fall over six teams, if you can't travel, and
you can't find locally, then we have set up something for them
called Rayyan Institute's Rayyan courses. Right. And what that does
is it's got 3040 courses, short, short courses that they can take
in their own homes, you know, at their own leisure in their own
time. There's like a certification process as well as one called the
Islamic Essentials program. Because you know, when we do
mucked up, but now we want to learn the same things from an
adult perspective while when we're adults. So Rayyan courses, Islamic
essential certificate, and then they've got others, you can take
that. And that's what I would suggest. The point of a lecture is
to encourage people to act to get further an inspiration, and
encouragement, persuasion. The next step is to actually start
learning seriously, to read books to take on a subject of Islam and
to understand all the subjects of Islam at least at the basic level,
so that we can become more aware of what our deen wants from us.
And that's why we started Rayyan courses so that you can actually
take organize lectures on demand whenever you have free time,
especially for example, the Islamic essentials course that we
have on the Islamic essentials certificate, which you take 20
Short modules, and at the end of that inshallah you will have
gotten the basics of most of the most important topics in Islam and
you'll feel a lot more confident. You don't have to leave lectures
behind you can continue to live, you know, to listen to lectures,
but you need to have this more sustained study as well.
JazakAllah Harun salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.