Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – How to Overcome Hatred
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AI: Transcript ©
You have to remember that the prophets of Allah have some never
event. I mean, this hadith about this province has never avenged
anything that was done against himself. You know, there are
people who oppose them, they will people who they will people who
threw things at him, they will people who try to harm him in many
ways, but he never, he never avenged any of that the only time
he would have meant something as if it was somebody had aggressed
against the religion because that was not his, that that was not his
to forgive, that was from Allah subhanaw taala and that was ALLAH
Zenia to defend that.
Alhamdulillah Lillahi Rabbil Alameen
wa salatu salam ala Sayidina Muhammad y the early he was Safi
or Baraka was seldom at the Sleeman cathedral ala Yomi. Dean,
a mother had called Allah with the baraka with data for the Quran
emoji duel for corneal Hamid, one Zarina, Matthew, so duty him in
religion.
So our
respected sisters,
we're going to continue with the discussion that we started last
time regarding
bad thoughts about others, and just basically creating an
environment of hate, and hating others Holding,
holding bad thoughts about others and not letting them go. And then
obviously, that effects us a disgust. And that lecture should
be up on zum zum. Academy soon, inshallah. But today, what we're
trying to discuss is how to get rid of these thoughts. So last
time, we were trying to say whether we actually have these
kinds of thoughts on whether we have this problem, and whether we
need to do something about it or not, because a lot of people don't
recognize that they have this problem some people do, they just
don't know what to do about it. So today, just quickly, we've got a
lot of questions. So I'm just going to quickly go through
several points in sha Allah that will be hopefully that will help
us to try to understand how to clear our hearts because the clear
heart is just so much easier to live with. When we don't have
clear hearts, it's very, very difficult, we carry a burden with
us, we're carrying
an extra weight, too much weight, and it's bad for us
psychologically, spiritually, physiologically, mentally, it's
bad in every aspect and people want, they just don't know how to
do it. So first and foremost, we have to recognize that we have an
issue. And number two, we need to have an intention of full into the
intention and the motivation that I need to get rid of this, I need
to be pure hearted and clean hearted. And I don't want to carry
any baggage. That is probably the most important thing is to it has
to be based on an intention and a will and a desire to make that
difference.
And I think a simple example for that is many of us, we use the
bathroom, we use the toilet, and it's a place where we go and we
actually come out clean because we intend to be clean. So we intend
intend to purify and cleanse ourselves. So we actually come out
cleaner sometimes then when we went inside. On the other hand,
there's some people who go all the way to Mocha, mocha Rama, Madina,
Munawwara, they go former or whatever, but they don't shed the
impurity that they're carrying the psychological mental impurity that
they carry, and they actually come back still soil, even though
they've gone to the most pure place. That's why intention in
this regard, a desire and a will, makes a big difference that you
can go into the worst place and come back clean, and you go into
one of the best places and you can still come back dirty and soiled.
May Allah
help us against such a thing?
Look, there is this idea that you can give as much as good as you
get. And to reciprocate. The idea is there somebody throws a stone
out, you throw a brick at them, I guess that's what people say.
However, as believers, as many as people with iman, as people with a
focus on the hereafter who believes they're going to go
there. And they're going to stand in front of Allah and Allah is
going to decide whether you go to Paradise or hellfire and our
actions are going to be looked at the state of our heart is going to
be
is going to be assessed. So for us believers need to always be in
mainly the state of forgiveness, that we would rather forgive, that
not to forgive. That is what is recommended and that we get that
from the prophets of Allah. Why do you say clean heartedness,
gentleness, clean heartedness, love for others what you love for
yourself? These are the mottos of Islam. These are the policies of
Islam. This is the characteristic of Islam. And this is exactly what
the prophets of awesome demonstrated. You have to get
something out
few chairs, get it off your chest. But then after that, don't keep it
inside. I mean, that's, that's really one way, you know, because
sometimes you can't just keep everything inside, that's not good
for you as well, you do need to take it out sometimes. So one
policy is just to get it out. And then that's it, it's out, it's
finished. And then you're back to normal. Right? I mean, this is, of
course, in cases where you're not being troubled, where you're not
being there's not a constant irritation, constant vendetta
against somebody,
you have to remember that a promise of a low sum, never event.
I mean, there's Hadith about this, that promises never avenged
anything that was done against himself. You know, there were
people who oppose them. There were people who, there were people who
threw things at him, there were people who tried to harm him in
many ways, but he never, he never avenged any of that the only time
he would invent something as if it was somebody had aggressed against
the religion because that was not history, that that was not his to
forgive. That was from Allah subhanaw taala. And that was ALLAH
Zenia to defend that, what are the biggest examples of this, to be
honest, you must have heard this incident so I don't have to go
into in, you know, in complete detail, when the prophets of Allah
while he was telling them was on his way to Mount Carmel, Colorado,
right. And they were going to they were going to just enter Makkah,
Colorado after they had been actually thrown out and exiled and
evicted from there, and forced to leave from there. So one of the
Sahaba one of the unsolved sorry, Luminova Radi Allahu anhu, when he
must have met a boo Soufiane, who had been the leader of maca at the
time. So when he saw him, he was in a little contingent of the
uncertain of the helpers. And he said, he made this statement. I
mean, he was probably very excited, I cannot completely
understand where he was coming from seeing a leiomyoma al mal
hammer
al Yama to stehenden huruma.
Today is the day of intense fighting this is today's the day
of murder, like killing, complete killing. And today is the day when
all of the things that they hold sacred and, and
sanctified. That's going to be permissible for us that mean you
know that could be that could be taken in any meaning. You know,
generally people are worried that the women will be raped, the
children will be killed and abused and things like that. This is
generally what happens. And then he said Alia OMA Avila Allah Who
coloration today's the day when ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada has
humiliated the Quraysh abou Soufiane. He met the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and he said, you want to Sula? Haven't
you heard what Sadie say?
Because he's obviously worried for the people, right? So what did he
say? He said, This is what these were his statements. So the
Prophet sallallahu Sallam found that really distasteful. And he
said instead he said, so look at the way he changed it. changed it.
Sad had said Aloma yo will Malema and yo means today and young means
today the day so today is the day of absolute murder Malema. The
Prophet sallallahu Sallam changed that so creatively he said Ali,
Ali, Yeoman Yeoman mahatma. Today is the day of mercy from Rama.
Today is the day of mercy. Aloma your Azula who coration today
Allah is actually going to honor the Quraysh is not going to put
them down. He is going to honor them with Islam, coming under
Islam. Now that's an honor to see the Prophet Solomon he is always
looking at things in a very, very positive way, where you are the
mullah who will kava and Allah will venerate the Kaaba will have
it come now, you know, totally freed from all of the Michigan and
will be venerated. And then after that he sent a messenger to
Sadler, the Allahu Anhu. And he took the flag.
He took the flag that he was holding for his little contingent
he took it off him and had it given to his son instead. Case was
his son, he only given to his son. This is really really interesting
that the province of Assam so creatively sorted the situation
out. You see a boost of Yan. They just come into Islam now and the
people of Makkah are there. You had to mend their hearts, you have
to make them feel comfortable about being Muslim. So the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam honored him by the statements by
just changing the words just slightly to say, no, no, no, today
is actually the day of mercy. We're not going to hold even
though this is the same city that we were thrown out of and we were
not allowed to come and perform aamra in that one year and so many
things that happened when persecuted and so many
disadvantages so much persecution so much wrong and oppression had
taken place. But this is what this is what's gonna happen today.
And then he didn't completely put down Saturday on he actually just
took the flag from him as a slap on his wrist and said, Okay, give
it to
Your son, he'll lead he'll hold the flag, if you could see that
that was. So that's a really interesting way of doing it. And
then after that, when they were all gathered, you see, the women
were very, very worried the women children at home, were very
worried that you know, because that's what happens when, when an
army is taken. When your people have been conquered and taken
over, then people start pillaging and * and so on. So they were
really worried in their homes.
Because maybe this news hadn't reached everybody or maybe they
did not trust it or whatever the case was. They're waiting, nothing
happened during the day said, Okay, maybe this can happen at
night. Nothing happened during the night. Then, when they went to the
Kaaba for the meeting with the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam,
this is where in the spirit of evolution we mentioned,
that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was there Subhanallah
standing at the door of the Kaaba, and he said, La ilaha illallah wa
the hula Shanika there is no God except Allah alone.
There is no partner to him. Sada Kawada. Allah has confirmed his
promise when not salah.
And he's assisted and help to slave Wahhabism Allah Azza wa. And
he has single handedly alone
defeated the troops. And then after that, he turned to the
coalition. He said, Yeah, Marcelo Quraysh, or people have the
Quraysh, Matauranga and nifer. You know, become what do you think I'm
going to do to you?
And subhanAllah that's amazing. I think they seen the signs by now
they knew enough about him to say this. They said, Hi, Ron, you're
going to do good. Why? Because your own Kareem, your opinion
benevolent brother.
We're Ignacio Hill Karim. And you're also the son of a
benevolent brother.
So the prophets of Allah some turned around to them, he says, It
herb Ufa and tomato locka you can go because you are all fried.
I'm gonna do exactly what my brother used to valleys and I'm
dead to his brothers.
You can, you're all free. This is how we're supposed to be. And you
know, that's why when I go through something like this, if I have to
say something, I'll say it. But then after I try not to keep it in
the heart. Sometimes it might be difficult.
Right. But if it's something that is not going to that is not going
to effect you again, or even if it is but the person has, you know,
you want to be as forgiving as possible. Because it's just hurts
you. Just because you forgive doesn't mean that you are not
careful. And you're not conscious of still what's going on? Or that
you're going to allow people to walk all over you. No, it just
means that you're not going to do anything extra because of your
heart feeding. Yes, you need to take measures, you need to defend
yourself, you need to protect yourself, you need to look out for
your interests. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But you
don't have to go over and beyond that. That's what's wrong. And
that's actually harmful to keep that kind of a grudge.
Why we are the Allahu Anhu used to say that look until you can
actually do something you need to make somebody anyway because you
can't do anything, until you're not in a position to do something
and make a change. Well, you have to do you have to be patient
anyway. And then when you actually receive the ability to do
something, then just pardon and forgive.
Pardon, forgive, you can't pardon and forgive before you're able to
do something because you can't do something anyway. So at that time,
you make some effort and patience.
Now, as I said, you know, we said that the important thing is to
have an intention and the motivation that I want to be
forgiven why would you want to be forget? Why would you want to
forgive somebody's you know, maybe done something against you. Maybe
they've not maybe you thought they have done something or whatever?
Well, because they say that the faster you can learn to forgive
somebody, the faster Allah will forgive you and the day of
judgment. I mean, for me, that's a massive incentive. Subhanallah
like, you know, I don't want to be taken to task by Allah subhanaw
taala that, I just don't want that to happen. So I'd rather forgive
here. So that Allah subhanaw taala sees that in me. He knows that
from me, and then he'll forgive me that okay, maybe I'll just forgive
this guy because he was forgiving others, maybe just purely for that
reason, because we don't have much else to show. And what is
important is that you have to learn to forgive if it's doesn't
come naturally for you. Then you have to learn to forgive. One
needs to learn to forgive and open their heart. Some people find that
really, really, really tough. They hold grudges forever. And I've
seen marriages break down because
they didn't know how to apologize and forgive one another.
Or at least one of the partners didn't. They just couldn't
Forgive.
So they struggle with this really badly. That's why you have to
learn to open the hand say, look, Allah will forgive me. I'm going
to just overlook it and I'm going to try not to remember it I mean
physically like I'm mentally I'm trying not to remember it. Because
Allah subhanaw taala loves gentleness and benevolence. Allah
Allah absolutely loves gentleness and benevolence May Allah grant
us, gentleness and benevolence in everything, such a such a major
enemy like Pharaoh, who called himself the law highest Lord hon
Coleman, Allah, he said,
but yet Allah subhanho wa Taala tells, you know, some of the most
beloved people to him, at that time Musa alayhis, salam, and how
to analyse salaam that go to go to this Pharaoh for Kula who coal and
lay, you know, Speak gently to him. I mean, people were thought
that he needs anything but gentleness, he needs a walk on the
head.
But that wasn't the position, gentleness, what it can do is
amazing, I was just reading an article by somebody because you
know, lots of people are losing their bags or their bags that
delayed when they're flying, because there's chaos at Heathrow
or whatever. So there was an article by somebody that if you,
if your back doesn't come off the bat, what should you do, he said,
Well, you know, you might have this feeling that you need to go
and take it out on the baggage handling, and give them you know,
like a big piece of your mind. And if you get angry, they'll be able
to produce your,
your bags, you know, from behind the counter or something like
that. He says, No, they just probably employees, they did not
lose your bag, they just employees, you know, they're just
the the contractor down there, that the guys who lost your bags
or delayed your bags on the other airport, right, he came on another
flight or something. So these guys aren't going to be able to see
what really works. He is the honey that works here, we talk to them
nicely.
So that because at the end of the day, what these guys have to do is
they they're going to report, they're going to take report
identification, and they're going to file the report, if you make
them angry, they may not do that properly, because they can't
produce your bag, right.
So if you talk to them gently and nicely, just that human compassion
comes out. And they'll probably find a good report for you and
maybe do something extra to try to make sure that your bag comes back
on the next light rather than the second flight. Or that they
deliver it to you to your house or something.
Similar, similar idea just coming to mind that even when you go to
wake up our young children, or middle age, sorry, like youth,
when they when they're teenagers for solid, for example, I mean,
you can start off by saying get out of bed.
It's only five minutes left.
The other one is to, you know, talk nicely. And start off with
that, the end of the day. There's different ways of doing these
things.
And just one or two more points. In the story of us herbal calf,
the people of the calf, the people of the cave. It's very interesting
that when they woke up finally, and they wanted to send somebody
to the market to buy something, he says a few words were said in
there. And one of the words was well yet a lot of they were
telling the person that was going to go out to buy something with
the coins that they had, when the aterna tough when are you Chevron
become akkada and we'll get a lot of be compassionate. Take it easy,
be gentle. So even in there that there is advice of being gentle
there. Because remember the people that they weren't they they were
supposed to be in hiding. So you saying that just be careful don't
show any kind of aggression or anything like that. And
interestingly, this word well yet a lot of you must have come across
it right? How many of you have come across this word? Well, yet a
lot of and it rings a bell for you. Those of you who are used to
reading you know many of the most Huff's and Quran that we have,
that the one word which is larger than any other word in the Quran
generally is well yet a lot of inserter calf, which apparently
marks the absolute midway point in terms of number of words, or
whatever of the whole Quran is well yet a lot of that's, you can
say the midpoint of the Quran is really attractive, which means and
be gentle.
And what's really interesting is that out of all the limbs of our
body that we use to communicate, the tongue is probably the most
important limb and the tongue doesn't have a bone in it.
Right the tongue doesn't have a bone it there's no nothing hard
about the tongue. So why should we make the tongue harsh?
If there's nothing hard about it? Allah subhanaw taala has made our
tongue so amazingly wonderful that it's just a piece of flesh with no
bone.
And it can do so much so why make it hard? When Allah subhanaw taala
has not made it hard either. So just to wrap
This, the main thing is that we have to have an intention to be
different. I no longer want to harbor lots of grief and sadness,
and hatred and Ranko and enmity, and jealousy and other things
against people. And I want to be forgiven by Allah subhanaw taala.
So, yeah, Allah helped me to remove this and I want to be more
gentle in my approach and more forgiving in my approach in my
open light hearted in my approach, may Allah subhanaw taala allow us
to do that. And may Allah make us better people working with that
one, I have the liability. The point of a lecture is to encourage
people to act to get further an inspiration, and encouragement,
persuasion. The next step is to actually start learning seriously
to read books to take on a subject of Islam and to understand all the
subjects of Islam at least at the basic level, so that we can become
more aware of what our Dean wants from us. And that's why we started
Rayyan courses so that you can actually take organize lectures on
demand whenever you have free time, especially for example, the
Islamic essentials course that we have on the Islamic essentials
certificate which you take 20 Short modules, and at the end of
that inshallah you will have gotten the basics of most of the
most important topics in Islam and you'll feel a lot more confident.
You don't have to leave lectures behind you can continue to be, you
know, to listen to lectures, but you need to have this more
sustained steady as well as aka la harem Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah
wa barakato.