Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – How to Illuminate the Heart [Hikam 13]
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
In the heart, Allah subhanaw taala has made it like a polished
mirror, it reflects whatever you put in front of it, whatever you
place in front of it, wherever you get used to. So then it will just
show that reflection.
And the other the problem with this mirror is that it really
focuses on one thing at once, it can't focus on multiple things,
whatever you direct it towards that will dominate and everything
else will be blurred.
So it's a really interesting mirror, you can't see multiple
things in it. The heart is a very, very focused mirror. Whatever you
train it towards, that's what it will be focused on everything else
will be a blur, you know, like they blur the background and the
smart cameras that they blur the background.
So, if Allah subhana wa Tada turns his attention to somebody and
wants to draw him close. Then that person's thoughts, concerns, right
concerns that person's concerns
will be illuminated with the lights, the Rama and the mercy
and the lights from Allah subhanaw taala
hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Sayidina Muhammad
wa ala alihi wa sahbihi edgey marine Amara to continue with our
series on Imam Hypno authority. Illa al Iskander Rahim Allah His
Hickam his Book of Wisdom,
we move on to chapter two of his book verse which is page 95 For
those who have a copy, and today Subhanallah it's wisdom number 13.
It's his number 13
And it's one of my favorites. It's one of the most profound ones I
found in in here there's there's many profound ones but this is a
really really interesting one. It's really to the point,
extremely reflective. This is what he says if not I love the skin
that he says okay for usually or collarbone, sore will acquire an
image on top of your actual femur RT
K for usually called collarbone swirl acquire animal Tarbiat and
V. Murata. M K for your Hello il Allah He were who are mocap
balloon Misha Hawa m k for your tomorrow and yet Holla Holla
rotala Wahoo alum yatta yatta hub mean?
Jenna but your fella T m k for your Jew, a youth Hummer DACA
equal SR Wahoo. Olympia took me in half a word. So these are four
statements saying for related things, we're going to look at the
first and second today
and try to unpack it a bit more to understand it. And I think it's
very, very relevant to essentially humans have fought for all times
in ages. Because this is something that we as humans fundamentally
are challenged with on a day to day basis, the dichotomy of this
world and the Hereafter, the attraction of things, things
pulling at US tugging at our hearts, attracting us,
engrossing us, occupying us, overwhelming us. So this is what
he says. I'll read all of them all four statements, and then we'll
look at the first two. He says how can the heart be illumined? While
the forms of creatures are reflected in its mirror?
How can the hearts find light and be illuminated? While the forms of
creatures are reflected in its mirror? Or how can it journey to
God while shackled by its passion?
Passions? How can it desire to enter the Presence of Allah? While
it has not yet purified itself of the stain of its forgetfulness and
heedlessness?
Or how can we understand the subtle points of mysteries?
While it has not yet repented of its offenses?
It shows barriers, it shows obstacles, it shows why we can't
move forward. We try. We try. We want to try. We want to move
forward. We want to experience the Hello tell Iman that we've heard
of others experiencing what they enjoy what we hear of that
earlier. But why can't we do it? There's an obstacle. There's a
veil. There's something going on the shackles. And that's what he
deals with in these four statements. Let's look at the
first two. How can the heart be illumined? Let's start with the
first one actually. How can the heart be illumined while the forms
of creatures are reflected in its mirror, he talks about the heart
like a mirror, being a mirror. The heart is a mirror. And what's the
primary purpose of a mirror
is to reflect is to show an image of something is to reflect
something that's what I'm here
is therefore it's for nothing else. That's what it's there for.
You look at your reflection, and
that's the purpose of it. So k for usually go collarbone. So in
Arabic, it's how can a heart gain Iraq. Iraq means brightness and
illumination. And in Arabic the word for mirror is mirror art.
Already, this thing is like a metaphor for the human insight,
the divine insight, what a person perceives through his inner
vision.
And people have many forms of inner vision.
Like I'm gonna argue that people have various forms of innovation.
There's a guy who you can say, is really good at investments, he's
going to have an a fifth sense or a sixth sense, you could say, and
an innovation, he'll just see investments left, right and center
that everybody else will be blind to
everybody else, there's no reflection in the mirror, because
their mirror their heart, is is is not
facing in that direction. It's not programmed in that direction.
A builder will come along, and you will see something and a builder
will see something and he'll say, Oh, these are the issues these
are, this is what's going on here. That reflection is there, he can
see it, we can't see it. And likewise with everything else,
likewise with every other vocation,
but everything but Allah subhanho wa Taala is a distraction in that
sense.
I'm not saying that being a builder is a problem, or an
investor is a problem. I'm just trying to show that there's an
inner basura is an inner sense that you just suddenly start to
discover these things and just see these things where others don't
see it. So that's the metaphor here that the the heart is like a
mirror. And the good and bad of things will reflect in it. The
heart, Allah subhanaw taala has made it like a polished mirror, it
reflects whatever you put in front of it, whatever you place in front
of it, wherever you get used to. So then it will just show that
reflection.
And the other the problem with this mirror is that it's really
focuses on one thing at once, it can't focus on multiple things.
Whatever you direct it towards, that will dominate and everything
else will be blurred.
So it's a really interesting mirror, you can't see multiple
things in it. The heart is a very, very focused mirror. Whatever you
train it towards, that's what it will be focused on everything else
will be a blur, you know, like they blur the background and the
smart cameras that they blur the background.
So, if Allah subhana wa Tada turns his attention to somebody and
wants to draw him close. Then that person's thoughts, concerns, right
concerns that person's concerns
will be illuminated with the lights, the Rama and the mercy
and the lights from Allah subhanaw taala.
So while there's other things that he sees, but his heart will not
be, will not be engrossed with those things.
He'll use his sight, his outta sight to deal with these things,
whether that be his building, his investment, his driving, whatever,
he's cooking, they're cooking, they're baking, whatever it is
that they do, that's fine, but the heart is for Allah subhanaw taala
that's what's being reflected in their hearts.
Because everything else darkens the heart. If you put it in your
heart, it darkens it. It doesn't necessarily duck in your sight,
but it definitely darkens the heart if you allow it to get
there.
This is all forms of fantasies and desires and
basically vain dreams.
So the person that Allah subhanaw taala has opened it up for for
that person mashallah his heart is going to be full of the light of
iman, the light of Ehsaan What a shock that we have a camera roto
heat,
the moons of dough heat of Oneness of Allah, where it's pure oneness,
there's never a doubt that everything comes from Allah.
Not just on anarchy the level but the you must have to Heydo Rubia
and you must have no hidden Lulu here. No, this is an experiential
thing. This is what they are. They never think of anything else. It's
not just I believe that, but it's actually that I never think of
anybody but Allah when it comes to it. That is why one of the poets
he says, Alchemy the photographer Tara Waterloo about
worth Manziel whare. Abdullah Asaro
will be suckling Mariah here, Zulu in Cairo.
Just keep your gaze away, like lower your gaze from all of these
distractions and
the beneficial information and benefit, the beneficial points
will basically come and illuminate themselves within you, they'll
shine within you. Because you wonder other people get all of
these great thoughts about thing, why don't I?
Wait, we've not left any room for it. So that's why he says, just
turn your heart away from everything else and you will see
that that is what will have what will start.
And then he says, and your secrets will become clearer the secrets of
things, what Allah subhanaw taala wants us to have will become, and
by polishing off any doubts any vestiges of doubt
your denial of Allah will go.
Muslims don't deny Allah. But sometimes there they feel they're
forced to do it. I've spoke about it some sessions ago where I said
that there's a confusing Hadith and the Iman shakes. Because
there's doubt the man should not shake with a confusing Hadith. You
just think? Well, I'm gonna find out about it. Why should your My
Eman is shaking right now? Like, why is it shaking?
You know, they're supposed to be confusing. A lot of people find
them confusing.
Then he says, a full coffee can you do what you do? Well, now,
well, Mark was shomo. So well, Buddhu roofie ketahui watercolor
is basically saying that he's metaphorically saying that the
plant the plant, the sorry that the planets and the stars and the
suns and the moons of goodness, because they express light, they
represent light. They're all inside, but you need to let them
let them benefit you by not putting this cover of distractions
in front of you.
So he says that by cleaning up the mirror of your heart, your Zulu
into Roca will hack your denial of the true one, and the truth will
disappear for 34 Who equally shy this is what I really like this
point, you will start then recognize him recognizing Allah in
everything. Because Allah is behind everything. There's nothing
in this world that Allah subhanaw taala is not the creator, the
designer, the Empower, and so on. So, and the people of Allah, they
see that everywhere, right? That's why they keep thinking of Allah.
And I've sat with some people and they always talking about a line,
the most amazing ways and you're like, how did you think about
Allah at this point? It's because that's the reality they're seeing
it directly. So everything will become very clear for 34 equally
Schaefer, you'll see rucola Buka. Yeah, so your heart will then
become this place of the lights that Allah subhanaw taala wants to
give you, and then your towhid will become very strong. Right and
your recognition of Allah subhanaw taala will become more intense.
However, if Allah subhanaw taala wants to forsake somebody and not
give him the special attention because they're not looking for
it, or they've committed a sin, or they've disparaged or violated
some, some sanctified aspect of Islam, or they have blasphemed
against Allah, or they've just committed some major, you know,
major sin or whatever. Then Allah says, Okay, fine, I'm not gonna
give you my Rama, I'm not gonna give you my attention. That just
means Allah forsakes them he doesn't even have to push them
anywhere. He forsakes them. So when Allah subhanaw taala wants to
do an absolute justice, he has the right to do that, then the person
is going to become occupied with everything of the world. It will
just be set your heart it overcome overwhelming that's all you will
be thinking about night and day. And then whoever's main focus
becomes the world. We become pushed to the world and there's no
assistance with that said tough one. It's a tough one. It's Allah
protect us, Allah protect us. It's so easy to become engrossed in the
world. It's so easy, especially nowadays, when the dunya is on I
don't know what version it's on.
Right? I don't know what level it's at right now. We're all in
it. Right? It's it's crazy. And of course, some places are worse than
others. Right? It's just dunya dunya dunya Subhan Allah It's in
everything. It's in everything is this. I must get the next phone.
Right. That's an obsession. Right? I must get a car because everybody
in my area has a nicer car than once you've got a car what next
now? Okay, let me get a nice number plate.
What next? I don't know. Maybe another car? I don't know. I don't
know where this where this ends. You know? Just to give you an
idea. It's interviews not just in this scene. Everything's To be
honest, it's in everything. You know, I've eaten from this place
IV in front like I pride myself of having eaten in all the great
places I know every great place and I can you know, I can make
YouTube videos not me. I mean, I'm, but you know, that's what it
Since it's all a competition, and then you've got YouTube to go and
blogs to go and actually tell the world about it,
cooking at home has become something that you can actually
show off about now, you can literally show up about cooking at
home housewives, you know, they're just cooking at one time,
mashallah making the people around them happy. But now, you can tell
the whole world and I don't know, if there's rain in that, you know,
I'm scared of putting my food that I'm going to eat out there because
Subhanallah like somebody gives the eat of a lie. And evil eyes
doesn't have to be physically there. It's all by induction, I
mean, subhanAllah, it could be why it's wireless.
I mean, we're, we're living in a time of wireless communication,
you don't need the person to look at their food to physically could
be Subhan, Allah,
Allah, always do vicar of Allah, whenever you've got an error, so
that it can protect from the overlay. Right.
I don't want to get into the whole world of magic and everything like
that. But they say can it can happen in all sorts of ways.
With everything else it does, so why not.
So when that happens, that's what happens. We become occupied with
all of these darknesses. I mean, food is not darkness, but it can
become a darkness if we get obsessed by it. And the shadow,
just money, and just physical, physical
fulfillments physical pleasures. So then all of these things start
become etched in our heart, because that's what's being
reflected, because that's where we focused our heart. So because of
this, you can say, because of this exam, existential darkness of
these things, and all of these thoughts of the forms of these
thoughts, it's going to become a veil, from
Allah subhanaw taala as light. So even if the light was there first,
a lot of people say that when they were younger, they were better
because they had gone through Mk the Madras or whatever, and they
studied the Quran, and they study and they were, and then after
that, they just got
into the world. So what happened is essentially, that light that
was there has become dimmed, and dimmed and dimmed. And sometimes
it becomes totally extinguished. Because that veil of the world
just becomes stronger, we get more and more and more into the world,
so you become stronger and stronger, so you don't feel like
praying anymore. Whereas two years ago, used to feel like praying,
you used to go out, you know, for three days, or 10 days or
whatever, you used to do this, you used to go to the masjid, you used
to like to listen to lectures, but you don't like that anymore.
So now all you're going to see is the perceptible things, because
you've made yourself into a hissy person, you've lost the manner and
the substance. So now all your focus is in just real, you know,
being just just worldly objects.
That's why Latifah Karela, Phil Hayes, that's what you're focusing
on. Now you think of nothing else.
So now there's two types of this.
This is at two levels. One level is that this veil of this darkness
becomes so strong, and so thick, that the light is totally
extinguished, totally extinguished. So now what you're
gonna do is you're going to eventually deny that there was any
light, deny that any light is even existence, absolutely. Like you
will deny it completely. And that is essentially, where you get to
cover where people go into a state of disbelief. That's where you
lose your faith. Right? Some people recognize they've lost
their faith and others don't recognize it.
You know, that not everybody who's lost their faith will actually
come out and say, I'm a disbeliever, I don't believe
anymore, they just don't care anymore. And subhanAllah, you
know, I know, of a number of places, in outlying areas
generally, where the people have moved there for economic reasons,
right, or whatever, for a job or whatever, and their children. They
just don't have any.
You know, they have they have no inter mingling with any other
Muslims. In many rural areas of America. I've seen this and I'm
sure that's the case in a number of rulers in England, right?
Except in England just got more cities, so people, but we don't
know as much. Whereas in America, it's lots of suburbs like that.
And they, they, they won't even know the Kalama properly. They
literally won't because they've not studied they've just been
taught by their parents, a few things here and there, some basic
rudimentary things about Islam.
So they don't even know they've lost their faith. They really
nothing. Unless somebody opens it up then and when they get older,
and they mix, they go somewhere. I've had people I've had at least
two people in my life, that I met them as adults. And they said that
the first time we met Muslims was when they were adults.
Like literally that. I mean, I've got two examples of that.
The first was a was a was a, a woman girl who came to university
and said this is the first time that my family I've met other
Muslims.
Right? Okay, the other one was actually a convert from Tennessee
or somewhere that had become Muslim on her own Mashallah. And
then she came to Santa Barbara where I was Imam, and she joined
the joint is the first time I'm meeting other Muslims physically,
like, in person. Okay, that was because, you know, she'd come. She
wasn't put into that area by her parents. But you know it, you
know, after having embraced Islam. And then there's others who will
just say, Look, I'm not a Muslim. And that's sometimes what happens
is because they've had a bad, they've had a bad experience, then
they'll deny Islam, and they'll want to have a great level of
animosity towards it. That's probably because they've probably
more pastoral reasons they've had a bad parents or teachers are bad
experience with somebody or domestic violence or something
like that. Anyway, right. The second one, though, is the one
who,
which is not so intense. It's not as rusty, it's not as totally
rusted. Right. And the veil is not as thick. It's actually a allows
some amount of light. So it's just that the light has dimmed. So you
can't really see it, but it's there somewhere. Right. And that
is the majority of people.
He says, Have a Mocambo our mill Muslims, this is the majority of
people, this is what happens is there they know it's the I know,
it's the you know, and it says of course, the people at this level
now, there's various levels of this some people it's much
thinner, so they see more light, and there's others who see some
light and there's others who are in between that. Right and that's
basically how close you are to Allah and how far you are. That
that is what tells us that that is what tells us that is what will
inform of this. That's why all of this you can understand from
Hadith the Prophet sallallahu sallam said there in the kuruva
Yasa gamma yes that will Hadith hearts are overcome by rust just
like iron ore is iron is overcome by rust if you don't look after if
you mix it with water, whatever. So that's what's going on. It's
becoming rusty, because we're not keeping it polished.
We're in the Imana your luck and your iman can become worn out.
While the Iman can become worn out like clothing becomes worn and
shabby and thin. And maybe with holes, right?
Come on. Look Athol will Jedi just like a new garment eventually
becomes old and tatty. That human can happen if you don't refresh
it. Eman has to be refreshed.
In another Hadith says liquid mache in mascara, mascara Kulu
Vivek Rula everything has a Polish.
Your leather shoes will only last longer and retain their shape and
function and utility if you polish them.
Right Everything needs it. Unfortunately, it's just nothing
is like maintenance free in this world. Everything needs some kind
of maintenance Subhanallah Everything needs maintenance.
Okay, if you get a better quality things, it just will last a bit
longer. But eventually you need some. And that's what he says for
the heart. The Polish is the remembrance of Allah. Yet another
narration says in the famous narration you know this one, that
when a servant either after a hadiya whenever someone makes a
mistake whenever they commit a sin, then look at that vehicle we
looked at on Sodor a black spot is placed deposited in their hearts.
And if he avoids that sin if he turns away and abandons that sin
seeks forgiveness, then it becomes punished. That's it so far and
abandonment of the sin as a Polish, right? When either
however, if he returns to it, then this black dot continues to appear
and
accumulate
had the lower caliber until it actually will overcome the heart
overwhelmed the hearts.
For the Koran, that is the rust that Allah subhanaw taala speaks
about in the Quran where Allah says in surah toffee in verse 14,
can run either Kulu be him. No exe boon that run either Kulu in that
rust is overcome their heart because of what they earn because
of what they perpetrate because of what they do. So now when you
understand from this, right, that the the heart can only be focused
on the heart can only be given up to one thing can't be given up to
more than one thing. Right? It can only be given up to one thing.
Right? I really feel sorry for those. I was just in Morocco.
There's a guy walking down the street and he's selling something
on a cut and he's got a certain sound he makes. I don't even want
to try it.
make that sound like almost like a donkey sound. Right? You know,
with all respect to the brother, I mean, he's making his Hala living.
And you've seen this, you know, subzi Wallah, he's gonna make a
certain sound, the guy who goes and distributes gas canisters for,
you know, for the cooking, they have a certain
like our ice cream guys here they play music down day they make a
sound, right they don't have that function of music or to play
something. And they just literally doing that all day.
Literally doing that all day. Allah Allah help us and protect
us, and Allah relieve them and find them something better to do,
right? Or better way to do it is some guys in the market that
constantly saying something, they constantly uttering something.
I mean, there's the one pound fish guy, right. And then there's three
super glue for one pound. Right and this Subhanallah all day long.
Like imagine you're listening to this, you're saying this, you're
uttering this,
you could become a half of the Quran.
So that's what it is. It's just whatever we become so used to in
this world, that's what's gonna happen. That's what's going to be.
So that's why he says that once you know without the heart can
only focus on one thing properly at once. I said, our eyes and our
senses can focus on multiple things. hamdulillah we're very
versatile. We're very, very versatile and flexible in that
regard. But our heart can only be focused on one thing. So he's
saying that so now if you allow it to open up to the light of Allah
subhanaw taala it will be illuminated, it will shine, it
will become bright, the darkness will disappear. But if you're
going to let it be focused on the darkness of this world, and it's
all a darkness, when you see everything in this world is good
could be good. But once you allow it into your heart, then it
becomes bad in the wrong way it becomes bad it's darkness.
So and then he says what I teach them Illuma to a neuro other than
light and darkness can never come together it's going to be one or
the other right one has to dominate. So that's why he's
saying K for you should equal collarbone be No, really, Imani
will axon. How can the heart become illumined by the light of
iman. And
Exxon beautification of your faith was swirl aqua and Illuma Ania.
Whereas the forms of all of these dark beings, they're not dark.
They could be very bright. Right? But they're dark because of what
they do to the hearts. When they want to be attuned female. It
could be when the etched, they become etched in the mirror of the
heart for the dandelions demyan That's why two opposites can never
can never come together. You can't you can't ever have a confluence
of those things. Allah subhanho wa Taala says in Surah verse four
major and Allah Julio Ragini, Min Cobain if he JioFi Allah subhanaw
taala has not put two hearts into any man. Because sometimes women
do have two hearts. Women have two hearts. Sometimes Have you ever
seen a woman or two hearts? No. So what's he saying? It's when
they're pregnant with a child. There's another heart beating
there. That's what it means. Right? But obviously, that's a
totally separate entity isn't it. That's why the heart this is taken
multiple ways that you can only give your heart to one fully and
properly. So
oh person who wants to gain something aspirant of the truth,
you only have one heart.
If you're going to face it towards the creation of Allah, you're just
going to turn it away and turn its back to Allah subhanaw taala. And
if you turn it towards, if you direct it towards the Allah
subhanaw taala, then you're obviously going to turn its back
upon the people. So that is where you will then be able to travel
beyond this worldly shackles and gain a better understanding and
get more illuminated and thus feel the sweetness of faith.
As long as you stay, he says shackled and caught up in this
item with all of your desires and
all of your lusts, there's no way that you can then travel to your
Lord, you can't start that journey to your Lord, you're going to be
stuck. And that's why he then says in that second statement, which
we've not been able to cover today, I'm gay for your How do
Illa Homer Kibana Misha Hertie? How can a journey to Allah while
shackled by its passions?
So how can the heart be illuminated and thus start its
journey to Allah?
Allah subhana wa Tada illuminates our hearts and allow us to focus
and make that easy, Allah make it easy. And I think the way to do
that is
Just to just think of how far are we going? And are we getting
better? Or worse? Are we improving? are we including more
good X in our life than we used to do two years ago? Or last year?
And that that's, that's the way to understand that and to test
ourself and then just check on things that we could improve more
salads in the masjid cover prayers make up
more if you're already doing all the prayers, mashallah then the
solitary Sherlock and the hygiene and a well being and and so on, if
we already giving a certain amount of charity then more charity
knuffel fasts colourfast of Ramadan, optional fasts and so on
and so forth.
But all of that comes in knowledge. So you have to first
increase your knowledge otherwise you don't feel like anything you
don't know what's on offer. Don't be without the knowledge may Allah
make it easy. Allahu mantha Salam Salam the Bartok their their
jewelry with a crown. La Jolla how you yaka you Bureau Hermetica
mystery Allahumma yahan Yemen Nan La ilaha illa and Subhanak in
couldn't even avoid him in the LA one Mohammed Mo Yeah Allah have
your mercy upon us. of Allah we ask you and beseech you and employ
you for your mercy for your generosity for your special
attention of Allah for your forgiveness of Allah for purity
from you, for your life of Taqwa from you of Allah forgive us all
of our wrongdoings or misdeeds of Allah or transgressions of Allah
or heedlessness, or procrastination, of Allah Our
denials, our doubts of Allah Our
inactions of Allah we ask you to forgive our sins, especially those
things that bring darkness in our life of Allah that turn people
against one another, that remove the blessing. And that invoke
calamities upon us, of Allah, we especially ask you forgiveness
from those sins, that have become part of our life and we no longer
see them as sins anymore. of Allah grant us a true understanding of
our purpose in this world of Allah grant us a true understanding of
Allah, we ask
that you allow us to rise to the challenges, and you protect us
from the evils which are out there, and especially our us and
our children and our progeny, and to the day of judgment for Allah.
As we are part of this country, we have a new king. And Oh Allah, we
ask that you guide him, and you give him Tofik and you make him
beneficial, and Oh Allah, you make his reign a beneficial one. Oh
Allah, we ask that you
allow us to prepare for the for the hereafter. We allow us to
prepare this life for the hereafter. And you allow our
hearts to be focused, and you and for your light for them to become
a recipient of your lights of Allah and to be illuminated. Oh
Allah, protect us from our distractions you have given us
abundantly more than so many others in this world of Allah, we
ask that you do not make it a burden for us or a trial for us
what you've given us, Oh Allah, this neat, new projects that we
have this new Masjid project, we have the new white thread center,
we have Oh Allah, allow that to be completed, allow all other
projects of all the other masajid and institutes to be completed and
protect them all from the evils which are out there and the
challenges which are out there, especially in the Indo Pak
subcontinent, and Oh Allah, the floods of Allah the floods that
have devastated so many people, have Allah grant them a relief or
other grant them an understanding. And Allah grant them strengthen
their faith to withstand this and beautiful patience and
perseverance, and oh Allah grant them and an opening and a release
from this and oh Allah allow us to be helpful in the right way in the
right capacities for whatever is happening around the world and
accept us for the service of your deen Subhan Allah because Allah is
at our mercy Fonasa Ramadan was single 100
The point of a lecture is to encourage people to act to get
further an inspiration, and encouragement, persuasion. The
next step is to actually start learning seriously to read books
to take on a subject of Islam and to understand all the subjects of
Islam at least at the basic level, so that we can become more aware
of what our Dean wants from us. And that's why we started Rayyan
courses so that you can actually take organize lectures on demand
whenever you have free time, especially for example, the
Islamic essentials course that we have on there, the Islamic
essentials certificate which you take 20 Short modules and at the
end of that inshallah you will have gotten the basics of most of
the most important topics in Islam and you will feel a lot
More confident you don't have to leave lectures behind you can
continue to live you know to listen to lectures but you need to
have this more sustained study as well as local law here in salaam
aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato