Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Four Simple Steps to Improving Our Character
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim Al Hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah Hamdan
Kofi on the human mobile or confy Mubarak and it Goma your headboard
on buena wire dot
Jalla Jalla, who am in a word wa salatu salam ala. So you will have
even Mustafa SallAllahu Derrida already who are in early he or
Safi or Baraka are seldom at the Sleeman Kathira on Eli Yomi Dean
and Bart
Allahumma salli ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala Sayidina Muhammad
Robert Ecosa Lim
got along with the baraka with Derrida
who the Laffer white marble
Rodolphe, we're already Daniel Jr. hitting
record an abuse of Allahu alayhi wa sallam
in
Arsenicum in a year, we're acabo Kamini imagination yo milk.
A house in Omaha can
call in the view of sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in the Melbourne
to Luton Mima macadam and a HELOC.
My dear respected sisters
our faith is generally an internal thing. It's an internal aspect of
us where we hold these beliefs in Allah subhanaw taala being our
Supreme Creator, and the one we need to please.
And then we believe in the angels and the prophets and the divine
Scriptures revealed by Allah subhana wa Tada we believe in the
last day. We also believe in destiny, that all good and bad
that happens in this world is from Allah subhanaw taala.
That's a very internal belief. But this internal belief of us it
actually governs the way we live. It governs the way we behave, it
governs the way we conduct ourselves with others, the way we
interact with others, the way we instruct others, the way we
respond to others, and the way we respond to others that is
obviously based on this belief in our heart and it's also based on
certain faculties within us that need a level of moderation for our
external behavior to be moderate and to be acceptable in the sight
of Allah subhanho wa Taala the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam, he said that I was sent to complete and perfect good
character with the MIMO OTA MIMO McCurdy with a HELOC. Mima
mCherry, one o'clock I was sent to perfect good character.
See, another way to look at this is that faith is the basis it's
the it's the foundation of our faith.
The foundations people don't see, they need to be very strong,
though, for everything that's built on it to last and to
stabilize and to, to stand up and to persevere and to remain and to
endure the external elements and to be able to deal with them in a
way. So both a structure on the outer corner when for example,
this masjid, mashallah, as soon as I came, I haven't been to this
masjid for a very long time. And when I saw it, it looks like a
mashallah very strong structure. It has like a castle like
appearance. And it's a very strong structure. Now we can look at the
foundations, but obviously, to the purpose of the external facade of
this building. And the way it looks, is to look beautiful, to
look attractive, to look inviting, it's a muscle at the end of the
day. So all of these things have been taken into consideration. But
at the same time, it also has to withstand the elements it has to
withstand, it has to be protecting, it has to be
protected, protecting of those who are inside of the rain, etc, etc.
So not only is it doing a work of inviting, which is a transitive
kind of action, where it's actually sending a message. But at
the same time, it's also protecting inside as well. Now,
all of that, obviously, is based on design. And it's based on what
went into it and the foundation that's there, our Islam in a very
similar way. That was that's what forms our basis, our foundation,
however, the external aspect of it, that the beauty of it how you
can you can be a person of affection, of love, of
understanding of compromise of assistance of compassion, how we
are like that. That's all based on our character, how we show and
express our character. At the end of the day, our foundations of
Islam could be whatever they are inside, but if they're not
translated, and they're not showing outside, that we're
inviting people, to Islam to goodness to beauty, we're not
tolerant with people we're not.
We're not compassionate towards people. And we're not able to
respond to anything that comes our way in an amicable in a good way.
Right? So that means that our structures got a problem and
that's probably based on the fact that our foundation is also
problematic to a certain degree. So essentially, our Imani yards
are a very internal thing that forms our basis, but what we're
going to show
To others, and what we're going to how we're going to deal with
others, that's all based on our clock and character. So the side
that we show to others, that's the side of our character, which is
obviously based on our belief. So today, we want to study this link
between these two, to see how we can improve the outside and thus
also improve our inside and then improve our insight to be able to
improve our outside. So firstly, we need to take this fallacy out
of our mind that, you know, you could be praying a lot, you could
be fasting every Monday and Thursday, three days a month,
Ramadan, of course, and all the other sunnah and muster half days
of the year. But then when it comes to meeting with people were
very ugly about that. You know, we're not very, very amicable
about that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that meno
metallophone What are how you have human law yet live? What are you
love? The believer is a place of affection. The believer is a place
of Congeniality. It's a place of honor. It's a place where you
don't you feel good with that person. There's benefit to be
gained from that person. And then the Prophet sallallahu sallam said
law Hira, there is no good, there is no good and merit in the one
who is neither affectionate and congenial, like that to others, or
who's not treated in that way, because people shun that person,
because of some evil of them. Remember, a deceptive person, for
example, to just highlight one aspect of bad character, a person
goes on this deceiving. Deception is never going to work, work
permanently, you can deceive some people for some days, but you
can't deceive everybody all the time, right? Because that's just
the way Allah subhanaw taala has created us in humans. And the
nature of deception is that, in fact, one of the earlier mentioned
is that deception, you know, this habit of being deceptive being two
faced, not showing your true self, but actually, you know, saying one
thing to one person saying hello to another person, or deception in
any way whatsoever, whatever that we may be. That it's like, it's
like a short blanket. You know, if you've got a short blanket or a
duvet at home, and it's cold, you want to cover your head, then your
feet are gonna get exposed. And if you try to cover your feet, then
your head is gonna get exposed. So you're constantly in this turmoil,
that things are becoming exposed of us. If we're deceptive, and
we're trying to cover that up, we're trying to lie here. That's
why they say that deception comes brings about lying, lying, it's
part of lying, actually, it's part of falsehood. And you know, the
problem with falsehood is that if you don't ever lie, then you never
have to remember what you said last time. That's the beauty of
it. Because it doesn't matter what you say, you don't have to make up
a story. You can just be honest, you are what you get, you know the
user you are what you see essentially, that's the way humans
should be. That's the way Muslims should be. That's the way
believers should be so that a HELOC, the outside is actually the
structure as we show it outside. And that has to be based on
certain Islamic Imani faculties inside. Now let's understand those
Imani faculties just to give us an understanding the person we know
to have had the absolute best character in the entire history of
man is the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. That's why Allah
subhanaw taala says to him in the Quran, we're in luck Allah Allah
hood Okay, now him that you are
on the most sublime character, meaning you are on the most
excellent level of character and you know that there's nothing
beyond that. So that's the praise that he gets from the Lord of the
worlds from the from from the one who sends down good character who
instructs us to have good character that's a certification
from Allah subhanaw taala. Now the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam Abdullah, the Allah one relates that a probably selasa
used to constantly, constantly encourage good character and teach
good character. And that's exactly what the Bruce Rossum himself said
he gave two he said two things. Number one, he said that imagine a
structure a beautiful structure, right? Like when I came to the
masjid, I really liked the structure. So now you've got
somebody who goes around a structure, just totally admiring,
the way it's been constructed. It's been designed the way it's
been laid out. And everything in a Sunday when they get to one place
of the structure, all of a sudden, that there's this glaring, missing
piece, or missing brick or a block or something like that, and it
just looks out of sync. It just totally destroys the harmony of
that structure. Right? The consistency is suddenly
interrupted with this brick or with this block, or with this
finishing that's missing. So then he wonders what is that? So the
Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam after striking this example, he
says that Erna till Colombina I Am that I Am that brick. So I have
come to complete and perfect, good character, the cherry on the top.
So the prophets before me, they taught good character, but Islam
teaches the highest level of character, and that's what He
expects of the of its members of each one of us. That that's how we
act with everybody around us. It's very important. That's why the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said it decayed that with
the most room for inner who lays obeying Allah He lays Sabina who
have been Allah hijab that be wear or be careful. Be warned of the
Dawa.
The door or the back door or the curse of the Muslim, the person
who's oppressed in any way shape or form, because he has a direct
link, that person will have a direct link, or whoever it is he
or she will have a direct link with Allah subhanaw taala there is
no veil in between the doors accepted against a person that's
oppressing them. So somebody asked, What about a gaffer, he
said, even a Kaffir of loom is a Muslim, so you can't even oppress
kuffaar You can't even oppress non Muslims, disbelievers. You know,
what are people of other faiths, however, you know, you want to
categorize that. So it's very important that character is heard.
Now wonder Allah mentioned from from previously, that character is
based on three main faculties of doubt, some have said four
faculties, but three main faculties and if we look at the
soul of Allah, sallAllahu, alayhi wasallam, having the best
character, he had these faculties in complete sync, in complete
moderation, complete equilibrium. And these three Faculties one is
that the faculty of knowledge, knowledge, to know how to live in
this world, but our pursuit of our knowledge need that there are
limits to it, because we are human beings, we're limited in beings,
creatures, individuals, we don't have the knowledge of everything
that's possible out there. That's why beyond a certain realm, we
have to then rely on Allah subhanahu wa taala, we have to
rely on what Allah subhanaw taala reveals in His scriptures for us
to gain that knowledge, for example, in the knowledge of the
Hereafter, of course, you can work it out by logic as to this there
should be a place to, to give, to give people a lot of reward for
what they've done in this world, this world doesn't have the
ability. It's very constrained, it can't Allah subhanaw taala in this
world give sufficient reward as he would like to give. So he's
created a special place called Jana, and likewise, for punishment
is created to place place of a call hellfire. So you may be able
to work that out logically. But really, at the end of the day, the
real knowledge of this has to be based on a belief of the unseen,
which we get from Allah subhanaw taala. So, it for us to go into
realms and go into philosophical aspects of the metaphysics of this
world to try to understand how things work, whereas we haven't
been given the programming of them, then that is going with
beyond the equilibrium. On the other hand, some people may be
guilty of this. But on the other hand, whereas some of us are
guilty of the other side of shortcoming, where we don't even
study what's necessary for us, we think it's just enough to just
make sure you do your salad on time and so on. But we don't know
how to do our trade and business. We don't know how to deal with our
neighbors. I'll give you an example. I went to one of the I
was in one of the one of the towns close by, and one of the Northern
towns, I was dropping my family off, I was gonna go for solitude,
Asia Times, it was dark, I was dropping my family of her friend's
house. Right. And I was going, I was going for solid. So as I was
dropping them off to three minutes, what I suddenly noticed
that on the left hand side house of the house that we were dropping
the family of it, there's somebody looking from the window, right?
There's somebody looking from the window. Now, it's not like they
just look to see who's there. Because obviously, neighborhood
watch is a good thing where you know, it's coming to your
neighbor's house, you have to be, you know, fearful of these things,
you have to be careful about these things. But this person kept
looking, this person kept looking for the whole duration that we
were there. So I thought, okay, maybe they're waiting for
somebody, maybe she's waiting for somebody to come through and just
watching that maybe their guests are going to come or something
like that. And then I went away to the masjid, I came back then after
half an hour or something, I came back. And as we're leaving them
from this place, we suddenly noticed that there's somebody
looking now from the next window from the other side, the right
hand side. And it's not like they just kind of peek. Okay, who's
that? Again, it's this constant watch until we left. And it was
just like you're being watched. You know, like, I know, the
government watches us, but they do it clean this timely. This is
like, you know, a watch. And it's quite, it's bad luck. You know,
one is the level that you need to be careful of who's coming to your
neighbor's house. But then there's this other level of making them
and they get feel uncomfortable that somebody's watching us. Now
the problem is that some of you who are listening to this who may
have experienced this or who you know who who who might have this
happening around them, you might be quite used to it. You might be
thinking once you make a beat making a big deal out of but
believe me, that's bad. Luck is bad character. You know, one is
that you kind of just peek out from the curtain. Nobody kind of
sees you one. I understand that. But this is blatant where you like
half open and and you're watching as though it's a show going on.
That's bad luck. That's why Imam Shafi Rahmatullah. He says that
travel because travel has five benefits. And one of the things
that he mentioned in there was that one of the benefits of
traveling is that you learn good character, and I thought over that
for a very long time.
What does that mean by good character in one of the
commentaries? What I what what had been explained was that, you know,
if you think about this for a while you'll you'll understand
this that sometimes what happens is that we have some inherent bad
character qualities within our community or families that we have
gotten used to, because we've grown up with it, we're quite used
to it. Right? When we see it, it's not a problem, for example, in
certain areas of the but it's quite normal Backbiting is quite
normal, we are alumni will sit we will listen to the but we won't
even think it's bad SubhanAllah. And then when you move to another
area, and you travel, and you go and you stay with other people and
Subhanallah, you notice that they're very careful about how
they speak about somebody, they're not willing to do that. And that
is exactly what happened to me, I went to one area where I moved and
Subhanallah, I noticed that people were very careful about what they
spoke of how they spoke about other people, that's when I
realized that you know that there's a problem here, do you
understand, so sometimes we get very accustomed very used to bad
characters, or traveling really helps us. The other thing is
obviously to just have penetrating insight. Because the way we are as
the other might explain it is that you'll see you'll see a splinter
in somebody else's eye, but you have a big log in your own eyes,
and you won't see it. So you've got major problems in your own
self, we won't see it because we love ourselves too much. But with
others, it will create hatred for them, just by seeing a small
defect in somebody else. So somebody's got a small defect, and
we'll start to hate them for that defect. And we have this animosity
in our heart towards them. But on the other hand, we've got major
problems within ourselves because we love ourselves so much. The
Arabic word of Proverbs says, how Bucha your me why you seem that
the love of something, the love of something makes you blind and
deaf, so you can't see it because you love yourself that's dominate
this is quite a natural, not natural human phenomenon. These
are just quite natural things that we could even be excused for, in a
sense, but not as believers, because that's exactly what Allah
subhanaw taala is trying to point out in the Quran. And the prophets
of Allah has told us over and over again, in the Hadith, that these
are things that we need to realize, and we need to see. So
these may seem insignificant, but that's really what builds our
character. So the first one is to know the knowledge of what's right
and what's wrong. What's the best way in doing things, what's our
responsibilities of knowing Allah, subhanaw, taala, etc. To have
insufficient knowledge is another extreme, which many of us may be
guilty of where we don't know how to act in a particular way, or do
something in a particular situation. So that's knowledge
number two. Number two, is what they call the hot labia, which
means that the faculty have anger within us. Now, again, that needs
to be in equal equilibrium, it needs to be balanced. What that
means is, if somebody's got too much anger, what's it going to
lead to, it's going to lead to them always being red in the face
is going to be it's going to lead them to be always angry, and
always like stern looking, and always like ready to just, you
know, lash out at somebody more, a more extreme expression of that is
how some of these rulers when they have this anger, they go on a
rampage, they kill people, there's an isolation taking place.
There's, you know, there's ethnic cleansing, there's, there's
murder, there's killing just on a whim, you know, her judging the
use of you know, his story, you know, some of the recent
happenings in these countries are based on an excessive anger set
problem. That's because it's out of equilibrium. Now, on the other
hand, you can't say, well, we can't have any anger at all,
because anger is very essential to us, we need a certain level of it
of this faculty of anger, right. So now, if somebody has to too
much of a shortcoming in that regard, then there's going to be
problems there as well. For example, you're going to be you
know, if you have got if you if you've got shortcoming with your
faculty of anger, then it's going to lead to cowardice. You're going
to be sitting there, your your mom's being abused, your family is
being abused, your profits being abused, your religions being
abused, and you just can't care less, nothing in you is there to
inspire you to stand up and do something to respond, you know, in
a good way. We're not saying respond in a bad way. We're not
saying you have to get up and get angry about it. But to even
respond, this is like, You're so calm, right? It's not even calm.
It's like actually lassitude. It's just total, total laid back
attitude. That's what you call cowardliness. Right? So you won't
even fulfill the rights that are required for you as a human being,
to be able to stand up for yourself and do something, you'll
have no self dignity, you'll have no self esteem, you'll have no
self respect, because you don't mind being abused because you just
nothing moves in you Subhanallah right, that's what you call we
need equilibrium in our other beer. Now the third one is called
Shania, which means the desire aspect now that manifests itself
in different ways in terms of eating in terms of, you know,
sexual relationship, and all of that husband wife relationship,
that that's where the shadow Ania now that's a major problem again,
because if that is not in equilibrium, and you've got too
much of it, then it leads to all of these harms. So a person is
then indulgent in what they eat.
stuffing themselves and becoming, you know, they've got diseases and
problems and so on, but they can't curb their desire, right? They've
got issues, they're still doing that. They just you know, it leads
to gluttony, it leads to obesity, etc, health problems, we know it,
but we still do it because the chapeau within us the desire for
this food is out of sync, right. On the other hand, the person will
not be satisfied with the halal ways that Allah subhanaw taala has
given them to fulfill their desire, husband and wife properly
know, they'll be looking at others, the wife will be
complaining about it, the husband will be complaining about the wife
if the wife's got that problem. And today, this is a major
problem, right? This is where * etc This is
* is based on an an out of sync equilibrium, you know, an
out of sync faculty of shower, where we're going beyond that, and
then people go even beyond that, they actually commit Zina,
etcetera, etcetera. That is where it's excessive. Now, on the other
hand, there is a shortcoming as well, it could be a shortcoming.
The shortcoming is that a person is just again, just so laid back
has just no desire that they don't even fulfill their spouses,
spouses rights, and then spouse is frustrated, and SubhanAllah. We've
got problems with this as well in our communities. When we know that
all three of these are kind of in moderation. He mentioned him like
a graphic equalizer, where if you put one side up, it thins the
voice, or it raises the higher tones. On another hand, it raises
the bass, you know, this is what we're talking about needs to be in
complete balance. And the most balanced individual ever to live
was that Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
He had the perfect equilibrium. That's why somebody comes to him.
And once they were there was a there was a Jewish individual who
had read of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam signed the new
prophet signs, and he'd absorbed all of them. And he just wanted to
satisfy one more where it which was about this anger issue. So one
day, he lent some lent some money or lent something dates or
something, sold something to him, that you'll pay me later, or
you'll give me the dates later. And then a few days before it was
supposed to be due right earlier than the time limit earlier than
when he was stipulated. He comes to the Prophet salallahu Salam,
and just very roughly says to him, man, you guys, you know, you, your
family. He specifically indicated his family, you guys have not
alone. You guys always delay debt, you know, you delay repayment of
debt, you have this problem and so on. And the Prophet sallallahu
sallam was very calm, or the Allahu Akbar he got really angry.
So let me sort this person out. So the prophets Allah, some said,
Said, said to Omar, radi, Allahu, and he said, Your Honor, I didn't
expect that from you, I expected you to have advised me. Right, I
would have, you know, I would have expected you to advise me that
look, you should pay back in time. And then you could have advised
him to say, Look, you should give more time. Now, the professor
Lawson could have argued and said, No, man, you've come three days
before, you know, you have come three days before and become
defensive. And at this aggressive attitude, you're gonna say, Look,
I'm not, you know, like, there's some people when they get angry
about these things, I'm not gonna give it to you for two weeks now.
I'm gonna give it to next year now. And then they messed him
around. But the process hasn't did the total opposite. That's why the
those were very close in, they said that, you know, when people
acted in this insolent way towards him, he became even more Clement,
which was so beautiful. They acted incidentally, rudely aggressively
towards him, it actually made him more calmer. If it was personal.
If it was religious, then then then he wouldn't stand for that,
for religion, he had to stand up for a straighter when it was
personal, he would just be very forgiving. So that's what he told
me tomorrow, the Allah one, you should actually be advising me to,
to repay him and make good in my debts and so on. And, and he you
could have advised him that look, give him some time and so on. So
now then he told him, what are the Ilana look, since it's happened,
you go now and give him what give him the dates that he wants, give
him the payment that he needs, and give him one extra as well,
because of what's happened. So when they were going, suddenly
this person told her mother the Allahu anhu, that, you know,
honestly, speaking, this was just a test that I knew, I saw all the
other signs, and they were perfect. This was just the last
time that I had to see that if somebody acts weird with him like
this, if somebody acts rudely with him like this is just going to
increase his forbearance, clemency and His mercy and His tolerant
nature. And I've seen that today and the person became a Muslim.
Right. So now, of course, there are places where you have to get
angry, where you have to show your anger, there are places like that,
but again, it just needs to be governed in this particular way.
So we've got the three faculties, the faculty of knowledge, we've
got the faculty of anger, we've got the faculty of desire, they
need to be imperfect moderation. Now with the force, Hola, and then
the Sahaba you will see that most of them were very close to the
same balance of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, but nobody was
as perfect as a solo.
last and last because only Rasulullah Sampson was perfect
because that's Allah subhanho wa Taala is doing with the price a
lot of Salam. But so you see that Omar the Allah and His angle was
just slightly above that of boubakeur, the Allah one that
whenever, whenever he was really a worker, the worker, the loan would
try to be the more forgiving one way as I wanted to say, you know,
let's take this approach instead. So you've got the equilibrium row
now, where are we in this on this scale? That's what we have to look
at, if we've got a problem with getting angry a lot, that we need
to work on that. And that's how the professor Larson was told us
to work on is now how would you work on these things? Firstly, you
can't work on these things, unless we noticed that we've got a
problem. And I think today, this is the absolute biggest problem we
have. You know, I'm telling you, there are people who will come to
me, and you know, with all honesty, they'll they'll tell me,
this is what we see. And you have to be able to take it as a
publisher, right, I've learned to take criticism, what that means
is, if I send a written piece to somebody, and they come back, with
no red lines on it, saying, mashallah, it's good, I will never
send anything back to that person. Because that's not what I want to
hear. We want this to be as perfect as possible, as as good as
possible before it goes out in the public, you're going to publish a
book, for example. So if I've written something, I want you to
criticize it. This is the time for constructive criticism, not
negative criticism, constructive criticism, I don't have to
necessarily take everything. So I will find editors that are willing
to give honest feedback and look at it, you know, in a constructive
way. So now, let's say I've sent it out to three people, I don't
have to accept what all three of them say, if I did it become a
different piece of work. But I can look at it, I can evaluate that.
Okay, yes, this one I agree with this one I don't agree with this
one will be suitable. This won't be beneficial, but not this one.
Right? Because not everybody is going to come from the same
direction as your methodology as your perspective as the way you
want to provide things. But you have, you can't be offended. Look
at all of the red marks on here. You can't be and I used to get
offended. But then I noticed that there's no point getting offended.
At the end of the day. It's a learning process. It's for
enhancements for betterman. So now, how are we going to learn?
We're never going to be able to rectify ourselves unless we
realize what our problems are. Now, how do we learn what our
problems are? That's what's most important. So this whole
discussion today, right is about now how to learn our problems so
that we can then rectify ourselves. So are you willing to
listen to that? Right? That's the question we need to ask ourselves.
And believe me, there's simple things, but it just needs a step
and concern. Without the step and concern, nothing's going to
happen. And there's no way we can rectify ourselves just like that.
You can do as much salata as you want, but you got this problem.
Some you know that they say that, in order that is a statement that
bachpan sage or others with your parchment, that Nissa tea or
parchment, the criteria, what that basically means that bachpan
parchment bitumen means you know, what you've got in your, your,
your infancy, or in your childhood, you've developed some
bad habits, it's gonna stay until you're 55. Right. And in fact, it
just gets stronger and stronger and stronger, it just becomes
more. So part of us that we don't even really realize it's a
problem. We're so used to it, you know, subhanAllah, we're just so
used to it, somebody else comes and says, you know, this is what
these are. So now how do we correct ourself? How do we realize
what our problems are? So now, there are many ways of course to
do this, but the four main ways as prescribed by the Roma, right or
suggested by their OMA, that's what we want to look at today.
First and foremost, one of the best ways is to actually find that
accomplished Sheikh, an accomplished guide, right? An
accomplished guide, somebody who's worked on themselves, who's made
this a mission of their life was actually worked on under somebody
else and being tutored and, and trained in that regard. So they
know, you know that they know the nature of this because they they
understand the science, of good character and bad character. For
example, Imam Ghazali, he's got, you know, in his large work, you
got monotone we don't have to lie in, in the work Mana masuleh, one
of the all of these great scholars, they've written the good
and bad character, somebody, they talk about anger, they talk about
jealousy, they talk about enmity, they talk about love for this
world, they talk about greed, they talk about, you know, over eating,
etc. They talk about these things, they tried to identify these
things, they tried to talk about a cure for these things. So it's to
find somebody who's been trained in that way, which is, you know, a
spiritual guide for example, and to find the most accomplished one
and then try to say look, I want you to help me out here and then
you try to get them to adapt they will suggest it and of course it
and thicker certain other methods, then they'll they'll probably
point out okay, this is what we think is what we think now because
they're a spiritual guide. We will find it easy to take from them.
The problem is that a perfect spiritual guide is very difficult
to come to because Jen
already with human beings, we all have some kind of, you know, some
kind of defects or whatever. So if you can find the best possible
guide that you can write, and just the best possible guide, or
sometimes that's very difficult, you can always find somebody
that's accomplished in that regard. And there's a lot of
charlatans out there as well, there's a lot of in, there's a lot
of people out there who are abusing this method. So you have
to be careful. So now, if you can find somebody of this nature,
that's your best bet. Because you've got somebody a
professional, it's like going to the professional doctor, right? If
you don't have a professional doctor, then you're going to check
up online, you're going to ask somebody, like, what's your
experience how to deal with this disease? Right? That's the way we
do things. Right? When you can't go to a doctor, you can't get an
appointment with the doctor, sometimes that's, that's what's
happening in our NHS system, you can't get appointment for weeks.
So what do you do? You know, you're just either looking online,
or you're asking friends or family that how do you do and they tell
us get some healthy and get some other than, you know, put that on
there? And so on, and you should be fine. Right?
So that's the first option. The second option is find a sincere
friend, all of us can do this. In fact, whether we got a spiritual
guide or not, we should have a sincere friend at this level. The
biggest problem in our communities today is that the concept of Mr.
Bill Maroof. And now he and LaMancha, is that we only do it on
a formal level as part of a group now, we don't do it on an
individual level as Muslims are supposed to be the Prophet
sallallahu sallam said, a dino Naseeha, the dean is
is wishing well for others is this compassionate? Thought about
others. That's what the dean is all about. So now what we've got
is, our problem is that we've got, we're just too scared, frightened,
reluctant, embarrassed, for whatever reason, to tell somebody
that this or that or the other.
I remember
on one occasion, there was a person who went
monana chef to another, another place for a program. And
he had been very busy during the week, so he hadn't cut his nails.
So he was slightly larger. So the person who came to pick him up,
was a friend was another scholar. And he picked him up and then they
went to the house, they had something to eat. And then after
that, they were going to the place for the program. And as they got
into the car, the the local shake, he gave him a nail cutter. And he
said do not see her. He says I think it's a good idea if you cut
your nose. Now the other person, he can't get offended by that,
though it came with sincerity, that look, you're gonna go in
front of people is good that you can maybe you've forgotten before
he didn't judge him or anything like that. It is not like Man,
what a dirty person. Yeah, he didn't say any of that. He just
said, Look, this is what it is. He acted proactively, he didn't have
a bad ideas about reactive proactively, and the other person
took it, that's very important that we do, we you know, that's,
that's what I'm talking about. We've just lost it. We can't even
tell other people's children anything anymore. You know, like
2030 years ago, when we were growing up, you'd get told off by
by somebody else's parent in the masjid. Right, if you were messing
around, or if they saw you out there in the wrong place, or going
with the wrong company, they'll tell you, there was a communal
kind of, you know, you can say there was a communal kind of
scrutiny in that. Now, it's just so individualized, that we don't
tell anybody anything, we can't even tell our friends anything
just out of fear of being, you know, being offensive, and
SubhanAllah. That's a problem. So that's why we actually have to now
look for somebody who's sincere, and go to them and say, Look, you
know, we've been friends for how many years, man, you know, we've
been friends for 20 years, 30 years, we've been friends since
but you know, since we were young,
you know, I want to add another dimension to this. I want you to
be just honest with me one day, right? Observe me for two weeks
and just be honest with me, and just come and tell me what you
think my problems are. And, um, you know, I promise not to get
defensive. I promise not to get angry. I promise not to hold a
grudge against you, and not to become judgmental. See, because
there's a lot of fears in this. What it is, is that if you tell
somebody, right, even if they told you to tell you sometimes they
might feel that you're gonna turn around said but you're like that
as well. So what if you like that? You're asking me about you right
now. I remember once our, I was working with another Imam. And he
mentioned something to me that, you know, this is how you do
something which I hadn't realized, or maybe I thought differently.
And then mashallah, I was happy that he told me this. Now, I have
been thinking of I had been thinking about this image that
he's got three problems the way he sits, which I shouldn't be telling
him because at the end of the day, it's everybody solid that he's
responsible for, that I am responsible for. So it's the way
he sits the way he does this and the way he does that, but although
these three things had been in my mind for a few months, and I'd
been wanting to tell him when he came and told this, my issue to
me, you know, he pointed out, you know, something about what I was
doing
I could have thought that let me tell him right now. So but then I
refrained. And I said, if I tell him right now, it's gonna feel
like I'm just doing it out of spite. I'm doing it because he
mentioned something. So it's not going to be sound sincere, then
he's not going to take it. Because the reason why I want to tell him
is not to make him feel bad or make him feel low, or to criticize
him, it's so that he can improve. And if I told him right now, he
might take it wrong. So then I didn't tell him at that time.
Do you understand? I need to find a time where it's just totally
neutral. And I tell him look this and it shouldn't sound like I'm
telling him because he's told me so that he doesn't take it. But so
you just have to look for this. But at the end of the day, find a
friend and talk to them and say, Look, can you please help me out
here? Right, I'm growing up. I'm nearly 40 years old. I'm nearly 50
years old. I'm nearly 30. And you have to remember that 40 is like a
maturity mark. That is where things get solidified. And what
Imam has already mentioned, is that if your good does not
overtake your bad, whether that be in your sins, or whatever it is,
sins and good deeds, or a HELOC. Bad luck and good luck, then after
that, you've got less of a chance because you've matured, it becomes
solidified. Right? And that becomes difficult. So you want to
change now you can't change when you're 13 Anything one, you know,
one year, I'm going to change your con, because it's so difficult to
move things. We're so used to the way we are so we need to start
changing right from the beginning. I know we're going to constantly
make mistakes, but we need to reflect over them. So find a
sincere friend. Um, what are the Allahu Anhu
after the Prophet sallallahu Sallam time?
He went to Salman al Farsi rhodiola, Juan, some of us he was
an older wise person, you know, he'd been through a lot. And
Amara, the Allah one who trusted him. And he said to him, you know,
Salman, I want you to be honest with me, and I want you to help me
out here. I want you to tell me what my problems are. So someone
can see you Allah Rama said, I can't please please forgive me.
Please. Excuse me, right? I can't tell you anything. You know,
because Tang Roemer. How you going to do that? He's excusing himself,
but I'm gonna do insisted. So then Salman vasila, the Allah one, this
is their sincerity said, Okay, if you insist, then this is what I've
noticed. Now listen to what they notice. He said, one thing I
noticed is that you have two dishes when you sit to eat.
You don't have just one dish, you have two dishes, right? And number
two, I see that you have one garment for the evening and one
garment for the day and one garment for the night. So you have
two got two sets of clothing.
Now, imagine if somebody came and said Imagine if somebody came and
said that to us. It's not even a big deal for us. We have four
dishes nowadays the way our doubt sir. I've been to Tao it's where
you've got a chicken biryani and a meat biryani. They both offer
love. It's not haram. We're not saying we're not giving any fatwas
here. I've been to Adalat where we had to literally ask for the rice
because there was more meat in the biryani than there was rice. Or if
you've ever noticed that this is the new sense of indulgence
because we have so much money in this country. Right? You got more
meat and masala then you have rice man, Where's the rice before you
have to look for the meat, the Promise of Allah some said if you
don't have enough meat, then add an extra cup of water, spread the
broth and give and give to your neighbors. Today we got more meat
than we got rice in many of our doubts SubhanAllah. And that's
that's an issue. So for us for somebody to come and say You mean
you've got two things, that's going to be quite crazy. But this
is their level. So according to that level, according to the Zohar
and asceticism of the Sahaba Salman al Farsi really felt that
that is beyond the level that's that's not the level that you
should be at. He should be more precise. And you know, on whether
the alarm said to him is that as he says, Is there anything else?
He said, Is there anything else? And Salman Farsi Odilon said No,
there's nothing so it remember look, he didn't point out anything
haram, anything mcru or anything of that nature. This was just
superior, less superior, more Taqwa based, right? So then what
the Lord said to him, as far as these two things are concerned
that you mentioned, I've dealt with it, consider them done.
They're sorted out from that day. That's all it was. That's why
later we don't have the time to go into this right now. But what are
the alone refuse until the last day to eat any delicacies? He had
absolutely refused. In fact, when the Sahaba persisted, they
actually had to send out Isha and half Saturday Allahu and Houma,
the wife of Rasulullah sallallahu wives over Sudha Saracen and one
of the Ramadan was daughter. He had a lot of respect for Aisha
Radi Allahu Anhu as well, that to go and try to convince him that
you have many guests that come from all around the world. There
should be a better dish in front of you, which you eat from as well
and they eat from that
You have a garment that you wear specially for your delegations
that is of that caliber, because you've got patched garments on.
And he started crying in front of them and he said that have you
come to turn me away from the era to the world is this how
Rasulullah sallallahu sallam was? This is the oneness he had that he
received from Salman Farsi Radi Allahu Anhu. He stuck to it until
his last day. And he refused. One day when they kept persisting, he
said, You know what you think? I don't know what good food is, you
know, it's like, for example, somebody who say, You think I
don't know what Bukhara is is,
right? Are you think I don't know what I don't know. There's some
other good restaurants here, whatever you think, I don't know
these places. But it's not for me. Again, this is not a halal haram
issue, go, you know, you can go and eat in his Halal place as long
as they're halal. It's not a problem as long as you're not
committing anything wrong. But this is just the level that they
were at, we need to talk according to our level as well. So our
obviously the advice we'll get. So now remember, if you do do this
with somebody, and you should think of somebody right now where
you can do this with your friend, your brother, your sister,
somebody that you think is going to be honest, don't be defensive.
When they do tell you something, take it, you don't have to agree
with everything. Because you might know why you do certain things.
Don't be defensive, just listen, and then thank them, and pray for
them and make dua for them. If you've if you think they're doing
the same things, don't tell them at that time, if they're willing
to hear, and you think they've got the ability to listen and tell
them another time. So that's the second possibility. So first is to
have an accomplished chef guide you number two is to have a
sincere friend. Number three, is to learn from what your enemies
say about you. We all have somebody who's going to criticize
us at some level, whatever that may be right? Now, at the end of
the day, when enemies criticize us, or when anybody criticizes us,
or speaks against us. You have to remember there's going to be a
level of exaggeration. That's this game that there's game of enmity
and debate and argument. It's based on exaggeration. That's why
it's very detrimental. Your your cause to say things about them
that they're not really they've got a percentage, but you you
bloated up just you you you enhance it just to make it sound
bad. So yes, what our enemies are going to say about us is not
necessarily all going to be 100% True, but they is going to be an L
they could be most likely an element of truth in it. So let us
judge scrutinize what our enemies are saying and not just dismiss it
complete and thinking, Is there any way this will happen? Is there
any truth to this? And if and if there is try to find it, and then
try to rectify it. Right? Don't don't just dismiss it. As I said,
there is exaggeration, you have to take away that exaggeration.
Exaggeration is a big problem. Some people exaggerate a lot. I
had a friend who used to exaggerate his exaggeration level
was about 40%.
Right? What that means is, if something was this big, he'd say,
Oh, is this big? Right? So eventually, I used to think how
come everything's so big, then eventually, I noticed that that's
just his background is like that they just exaggerate a lot than I
used to tell him openly. So then I judged his exaggeration level to
be 40%, I would joke with him as well that you know, you exaggerate
every so then in the future, whenever he would talk to me, he
was I'm not exaggerating this, this is really this big study was
quite cool. You know, but this is a very close friend of mine.
So exaggeration, obviously takes place. And number four, the other
way is, and look, these are not mutually exclusive ways. You could
use all of these things. Because sometimes your spiritual guide, he
doesn't say, you know, live with you. He doesn't know you sometimes
as close as your friends do. He knows aspects about you probably,
if you reveal them to him that your friends don't know. But then
your friends deal with you everyday they travel with you,
etc. So you can still benefit from a shake and a friend and enemies.
Right? Most people have some kind of enemy at some level or the
other, right? Somebody who's criticizes them or whatever. And
if you don't, hamdulillah number four is again, when you see things
in others.
For example, Imam Malawi, he mentioned that how bad is booklet?
You know, when you see somebody who's stingy? How bad does that
make you feel? How a verge? How much of an aversion Do you feel a
man well, how can a stingy person this could be right? Just the way
you feel like that about them? You may have that same problem, right?
At some level, and the people who don't have that problem, they're
gonna feel the same way about you, even if they've got the problem
that feels like that about you, because that's the way we are. We
see the bad character in others, we feel really bad about it. And
especially if we have that same problem at some level, we actually
see it more in others Subhanallah, right, because we can relate to
it. And we get even more angry because we have it so we get angry
society. It's a psychological problem that we have, right? It's
humans deal with this. So what he's saying is that, look at
others, look at the things that turn you off about others and turn
that into yourself and see how you can see if you've got the same
problem and can
Record. That's why somebody asked me Sally has salon man at the
back, you've got such beautiful character who taught it to you is
that nobody and nobody taught me good character. I just saw the
acts of a, you know of people that I disliked. And then I looked into
myself and just corrected them in that. So a believer is the mirror
of another believer, when we see things that turn us off in others.
Let us look at ourselves and see if we just have to, at the end of
the day, it is all based on honesty. Are we going to be honest
with ourselves? Are we going to be looking for enhancement, if we're
just satisfied with our life, despite the difficulties that
we're dealing with in our life day in and day out? Most of the
difficulties are based on our own character, we bring it upon
ourselves. We just need to be honest with ourselves. Use any of
these means ask Allah subhanaw taala to make us better believers
because of being a better believer that is also to offer becoming
better in character. There are a number of doors to this effect.
Allahu mehg I'm sorry, Rottie hieromonk Allah and ELT, which I
learned at Salah Hatton. That is if you if you want to repeat it
once with me at least you've read it once hopefully you can memorize
it. And I'll translate it that is Allah Who mudgil Surya Rottie
hyaluron min Allah Niyati hyaluron min Allah Niyati Wha, annuity,
sorry, Hatton, what that means is, Oh Allah, make my inner self
better and superior than my outer form, and my outer expressions and
so on, and make my outer form righteous. So we're asking for
both. But we're asking that our inner self is actually even better
than our outer self. Because most of us are more concerned about our
outer self, right? And how you know, how we, how we dress and so
on and so forth, make that pious. So it's not just the dress that's
going to be pious, it's going to be our acts that are going to be
pious as well. Dressing piously helps our acts as long as we're
concerned about that, right. Otherwise, we give a bad name and
we shouldn't be doing that. Right. But it helps us but with this dua
inshallah it will be even, it will be even more powerful. So, we ask
Allah subhana wa Taala for this and hopefully, Allah subhanaw
taala give us it Sophie because we are the flag bearers of the
Prophet sallallahu Sallam and of this Deen. And whether it's to
other Muslims around us or to non Muslims out there, the best form
of Dawa is the way we act, the way we behave the way we interact.
That's why Imam Hassan you another thing he mentioned is the human
nature is such that it steals from other people's behavior, we will
take more from what we see somebody do than what we hear them
say. So a bond can be whatever, but if the person giving the band
is not acting right, then there's going to be less of an effect of
that bond, because people are generally going to see how the way
they act, and they're going to take from that because that's
human nature to take from other people like that. That's exactly
what that's why even though Josie Rahmatullah it, he says it is to
be subleases or something else. He says, read the stories of the
pious reason is that sometimes you could be just among people that
are not very righteous, or they have bad character, and you just
can't get out of that you can't see what's right and wrong. If you
read the stories of the pious, you will learn from their good
character. And that's how you learn it. May Allah subhanaw taala
give us the Tofik May Allah subhanahu wa taala allow us to
recognize the faults within us and to correct ourselves so that we
become a better source of inspiration for others. May God
may Allah subhanaw taala accept as well for the service of his Deen
at some level, at whatever level that may be so that when we die,
people will remember us and will will remember us for our good
character. Remember, people with good character are always going to
be remembered. One thing that will stick out to people is your good
character. Regardless of what situation you are in, the good
character will always endure, right, they will make dua for you.
And then in the hereafter Subhan Allah, the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam, that's where he said the closest person that's the
Hadith already in the beginning, that the claw person, the best
person and the person closest to me in the hereafter is the one
among you who is going to have the best character because after your
worship, the best way to get closer to Allah subhanaw taala is
not through external artefill although that is one way but it's
through good character because good character is is its social,
its interaction with others and we are social creatures. We don't
live in caves we live among people. That doesn't mean that you
do that and not novel because they both can be done they're not
mutually exclusive things you do you actually know off and extra
worships and stuff like that and so on. But good character is going
to be where, where the benefit lies, where the greater benefit
less and it's a greater focus. May Allah subhanaw taala Miko external
sounds like that as well. Allahumma into salaam Inca Salam
Tabarrok the other jewelry where the Quran Allah homea Yaga Yun
therapeutic studies Allah homea Nana Yamuna Allah Allah subhana
kidnapper nominal * mean, just Allahu Allah, Muhammad and
Muhammad O Allah except our gathering today. Oh Allah except
our gathering in this Masjid today we've come purely for your sake of
Allah. There's nothing else has brought us here except that we've
come to learn about your deen of Allah. Oh Allah
had this intention that we have in our heart, oh Allah accepted in
the fullest of manners despite our other defects, Oh Allah, Oh Allah,
all the pollution in our hearts in the darkness in our heart. Oh
Allah removed that from us. Oh Allah, the baraka that is in your
houses in this world which are the masajid Oh Allah allow this newer
to continue in our hearts of Allah sometimes we go outside and this
new rule disappears because of a sin that we do. Oh Allah protect
this new rule that we get when we come into massage. And when we do
good acts of Allah give us the trophy to remember you at all
times. Oh Allah, whether that be in doing our mundane daily tasks
like cooking, or Allah allow us to start our cooking our cleaning, or
whatever we may be doing with saying Bismillah and while we're
doing our cooking mail, Oh Allah, you give us a trophy to be
remembering you and to do your ticker to say subhanallah
Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar, to glorify you, so that the baraka of
this is also in our cooking and that's how we feed our families.
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, Oh Allah, we've seen for many, many years,
so Allah, we've had bad character overload, we've put so many people
off, Oh Allah, we may have on the Day of Judgment amount in full of,
of bad deeds that may be put on us because of what your messenger has
told us that our good deeds will be taken up by those people that
we've spoken bad about that we've said something bad about, that
we'd have abused in some way or the other, oh, Allah, Oh, Allah
satisfy all of these people and allow them to forgive us, or you
satisfied them, even if they don't want to forgive it Forgive us in
such a way that on the Day of Judgment, we don't lose our good
deeds, and that we that we maintain our good deeds, and their
bad deeds are not put on us because that is the greatest sense
of loss and that is the Greatest Loser. The Biggest Loser as your
messengers, Allah, Allah has told us is the one who will have to
carry the burdens of others on the Day of Judgment, Oh Allah, we
don't have enough even for ourselves in to take in this to
the next world of Allah and if that's diminished, and we can't
even earn any more, and then their bodies are put on us. Oh Allah,
then, then what have we done in this life? Oh Allah, Oh Allah, Oh
Allah, we can only ask you because there's nobody else whose door is
open that who can who can listen to this bleep plea. Only you have
the power to change these things around. Oh Allah, you change them
for us or Allah You accept us. Oh Allah, you imbibe us with good
character, oh Allah all the blameworthy character traits that
are in so Allah you allow us to understand them and allow us and
help us to to remove them. Oh Allah allow us to have good
friends around us and good show you around us that can help us and
our Allah allow us to learn from the things that are around us. And
oh Allah allow us to, to, to be to be concerned about these things.
Oh Allah make the best day of our lives make the best day in our
life, the day that we stand in front of you. Oh Allah that we
that would that make that the best of our lives. Oh Allah give us the
best of both worlds of Allah or remove all of the difficulties in
our lives or law remove all of the problems in our lives or law
remove all of the issues that we may be facing in our lives. Oh
Allah allow us to be better people and allow others to be better with
us. Oh Allah, any conflicts we have among us or law remove them
and all the permissible needs that we have our law fulfill them. Oh
Allah. Oh Allah give us the Karim Allah Allah Illallah on our
deathbed and Allah grant us gender to fill those in the company of
your beloved ones. Subhan Allah be corroborated here million seafood
was salam and Selena Al Hamdulillah.
Hola