Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Don’t Be Surprised the Difficulties of the World [Hikam 24]
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The speakers discuss the importance of perspective in dealing with difficult situations and how it can lead to problems. They stress the importance of minimizing one's problems and not feeling sorry for others, and explain the " Probably" concept used in the " Probably" concept. They also discuss the " Probably" concept used in unexpected events and how it is inevitable, and stress the importance of coping mechanisms and avoiding unnecessary behavior. The job of the human experience is to do as many options as possible, but there are other cases where there is no option for us.
AI: Summary ©
hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala, so you didn't
know Celine or an early, he was so happy he married a mother
how to deal with sorrows, how to deal with difficulties, how to
deal with losses and calamities.
A lot of the way the
human works in dealing with different things is that you form
a perspective, you look at a thing in a particular way. And that will
actually help us to,
that will affect the way you deal with something. If you think
something is easy, then you're more likely that you're going to
try to do it. For example, Allah subhanaw taala says in the Quran,
that we made them look less in your eyes, and we made you look
larger in quantity in their eyes.
That obviously means that the perspective has changed. Now, if I
think that I'm against somebody that is much stronger, much
larger, the task is much more difficult, then the reaction is
going to be according.
And if I think that something is very easy to overcome, then I'm
willing to become more brave and do it. So that's human beings.
That's the way human beings are. If we think something is too far,
we're not going to try if, if it's made out to seem closer.
We say Okay, let's go. Have you noticed that sometimes when you're
going somewhere, when you going, there seems to take longer than
when you're coming back? The journey, there seems to take
longer a
lot to do humans has a lot to do with perspective. That's why
probably some of the best of those who manage their life well, is
those who have the best way of looking at things who look at
things very optimistically, who look at things
in a way that they can sometimes break it down. So another another
strategy that they provide is that if you look at it as a big task,
then it's going to seem too much. But if you break it down, say
okay, if I do this part first, if you break it down into its
constituents, I need to do this, then I need to do this, then I
need to buy this, then I need to bring this then I need to add
this, then suddenly it starts becoming manageable. But when you
look at it as a whole owner, how am I going to do this?
So one of the several things that really help in dealing with life
is that when you know that somebody is assisting you so
clearly with the for the Muslims, for anybody who believes in Allah,
the fact that you know that Allah is there to help you. He has the
best, NIA for for us, he has the best in the best in store for us.
And
the other thing we have to know is that this world is going to
inevitably have difficulties.
So when we talk about marriage, even there's going to be
difficulties in marriage. I doubt you will come across anybody who's
never had any small even a small issue in marriage with their
spouse, even the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had
issues with his spouses.
Though there was a wonderful relationship. And the Prophet
sallallahu sallam was obviously the best of us in character. But
there was an occasion where he left the wives and went and stayed
in loft for approximately 29 days or so. To the extent that Omar the
Allahu anhu, was wondering if he had divorced his wives.
And likewise, once he went to 40, Mara the Allahu anha, his
daughter's house, to look for it to the Allahu anha. And who his
husband and father and said, Oh, we've just had a problem. We had a
bit of a problem, he's in the masjid.
So people have problems. It's about then how you learn to deal
with those problems. So if you know that you're going to have
problems when you get into marriage, you're not going to be
very surprised, you're not going to be out of water, like a fish
out of water when a problem does arise, which inevitably, if you
know that you're going to have with your co workers, you could
run into some complications, some challenges, they don't have to be
major. As long as you know that then it's easy. So this is what if
not, I thought Allah is saying, For to make it easy for us, to
basically tell us the reality of the world, really. He's just
explaining the reality of how things occur in this world. That's
what he's saying. So he's saying, Let us tell him, we'll go a kodari
Madame de vie had hit da,
let us tell her Waku Karima doomed if he had the he, he had to hit
dar for into her MA Prophet in MA Hua was the Hakan
in llama who Mr. Haku was fee. Why do you want to
say that again? My brother in law, who was the hukou was we have why
You will not hear
this word he says, he says, so long as you are in this world, be
not surprised that the existence of sorrows
as long as you remain in this world, don't be surprised that
they will be sorrows that you will have to confront, you will have to
confront others have to confront them. It's just the nature of this
world. For truly the world it the world manifests nothing. But But
what is in keeping with its character, or its inevitable
nature.
Whatever happens in the world,
happens, because that is the nature and the character of the
world. You can't expect it to be anything else.
The only thing you can probably make dua for is Oh Allah, minimize
my problems. Give me our fear, and allow me to deal with them.
But give me i Forgive me well being.
But when they come, you have to deal with look at the Madani life
and the murky life of the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the
difficulties.
So, the commentator of this one of the commentators, Sheikh Abdullah
GUI, he says, As long as you are in the world,
do not be surprised that difficulties, misfortunes and
sorrows, you're going to lose something, your key may break, you
may lose your keys, you may lose your bus pass, you may lose your
travel card, you may lose your bank card, you may lose your
wallet.
I mean, if we start talking about that, you may
have a leak.
You may have a disease, you may have an illness,
you may have relationship problems,
you may not be able to get in a school you want to get into you
may not be able to your clothing may shrink, mundane things went
into the washing your clothing shrink, you went outside, you
thought it wasn't going to rain and then suddenly just poured down
you, you you became soaked.
And so on and so forth. But just as many of those things happen. I
mean, just as so many of those things happen. There are so many
positives that happen.
You weren't expecting to gain something and suddenly you got
something. You weren't expecting to get this particular job and you
got it. You weren't expecting to get a promotion and you got it.
You didn't you never thought that you'd be able to get married to a
such a person and you did.
There are so many different things like that. That's just the nature
of the world. So that's what he's saying, Oh traveler, because at
the end of the day, that's that's what he calls us. We're travelers,
travelers, especially to the spiritual path, because those
people think well, that while you are in this earthly about do not
feel surprised, surprised if clouds of contamination settle
over you. contamination, basically things not going the right way.
When it's pure, there's nothing wrong with it. It's contaminated
life is contaminated with difficulties. An amazing and
surprising event is something that is not expected to transpire.
An amazing and surprising event is something that is not expected to
transpire. If something has to be surprising, or amazing, you're not
going to expect it. Because when you expect something, it's no
longer surprising or astonishing and amazing. So for example, they
suggest that if you're going to give your spouse or anybody gifts,
if it's something ritualistic you're giving that every week I
have to get flowers, or every week, I have to buy him a box of
chocolates, then suddenly it becomes boring.
Because there's no surprise element left, unless you go out of
your way to find new chocolates every week.
Or new flowers every week. There's a surprise there. Because there's
an expectation when you have an expectation. There's no surprise
in these things. So that's why a gift. A gift is made even better.
When there's an element of surprise with it.
Oh, I get the same thing from all the time. That's
and then somebody saying, Oh, he or she brings me different things.
There's a there's a there's a there's there's a thought process
behind it. There's a surprise element behind it.
So an amazing and surprising event is something that is not expected
to transpire regarding the misfortunes and calamities of the
of this world, nothing so then he's basically this is just
building up a premise. Is he saying that
if you're expecting something you won't be surprising. If you're
expecting something, it won't be shocking.
That's what he's saying. That once you get used to expecting
something, it's not going to shock you anymore. It's not going to
surprise you. It should not destabilize you
Though regarding the misfortunes and calamities of this world, if
you look at their essential nature, nothing surprising is
happening. That's what he's trying to say by this.
Because whatever is happening in this world, is inevitable. So it's
not surprising anymore.
And think about that the next time something hits us, Allah give us
out of here the next time anything happens that's out of the
ordinary. Just think of it, that's not a surprise, it's the world is
inevitable.
It'll just make it that much more easier for us to deal with.
Such events are merely the natural manifestation of the attributes of
the world,
you're in the dunya, that's when I get what's going to happen.
Otherwise, you're looking for Paradise. But as long as we're
here, it's not paradise.
contamination, pollution, etc, are the natural and necessary
characteristics of this world. Since Allah Most High has created
it as a trial and a test to distinguish between the patients
and the impatient ones.
Another name for the dunya is what the reason is called dunya is
intuitive name in the sense that it just means closer.
And arciero means the next one. So dunya is closer to us than
Archana. That's why it's a relative term.
Dunya it's also the lower lower world compared to the hereafter.
But another name for the dunya is double IP Tila, the IP Tila in the
abode of tests. And it's also called Double S BB, the abode of
means, because things don't happen by magic key you need means. So
you need a means to be able to deal with surprising events, so
that the surprise factor comes out of it. That's the means where
that's what we're doing right now we're employing a means here by
saying that whenever something happens slowly, slowly, first
time, it's still seems it's still going to seem like a surprise. But
every time that happens, and we make our approach and our reaction
to it that oh, that's not a surprise, just the dunya you will
soon get used to that nothing will surprise you anymore.
For example, when we're dealing with a lot of people's issues, we
probably pretty much heard of everything generally. So nothing
generally surprised us anymore. But to be honest, sometimes once
in a while, something comes up. So recently, somebody called me a few
weeks ago. And he said, Oh, I've got an issue with this that under
the husband wife issue. And okay, I probably heard it. I didn't say
that. I didn't obviously say that. But you know, generally that's
that you've generally heard it generically something with other,
he says Get ready for it.
So I was about to say,
I don't know if I don't even if I said I can't remember if I
actually said that. But I was about to say I've probably heard
it before, it's probably not going to surprise me. I'm not sure if I
said that or not. And then what he actually told me was a level
higher than what I'd heard before. So it was a bit surprising.
Shocking, rather, you know that somebody can stoop so low.
We don't want to become desensitized, of course. But at
the end of the day, this is a coping mechanism. And it's so
important, the coping mechanism, as we'll see from the rest of it,
is that that's what Allah wants us to do that if you freak out, and
you don't know what to do in that situation. He's not saying that
you must make it you must just know it's coming and then just not
do anything about it. Now we're supposed to do something about it.
But what he's supposed to do is sober and patients not freak out.
And then two, three days later, when we've can't do anything,
can't get anywhere. This is Oh, I should be with Allah subhanaw
taala.
That sub aspect should kick in right from the beginning.
And I guess the way to do it is once in Narela, who and you're
immediately remember Allah subhanaw taala.
So that's why he's saying that. These are, this world is a trial,
a test to distinguish between the patient and the impatient one and
between the grateful and the ungrateful one.
So our job then, is that, you know, we have two different types
of tasks in the world. Some are what you call ftld. They're
optional. Right, pray. You don't pray by default. You were not
praying by default. So pray.
avoid, avoid Zina. Avoid stealing. So again, if we don't do anything
wrong, we were by default, not not committing fornication or not
stealing.
So our job when it comes to optional acts is to do as much as
possible of what we've been commanded and stay away from as
much as we've been prohibited from.
That's essentially what our job is. However, there are other cases
in which there is no option for us. We get thrown in
into something or if something gets thrown to us onto us. A
difficulty, a challenge
there, Allah just there what Allah wants from us is there, we're
stuck, right?
Allah wants us to basically do the best thing in that situation which
is to be patient.
Put your trust in Allah subhanaw taala
and do the right thing.
That's our responsibility. So we can't control everything in our
life. But we've been told what to do that if you have an option,
then you know what to do. And if you don't have an option, meaning
if it's thrown at you and you've been forced into a situation,
you're still being told what to do. So Allah has guided us there's
nothing that we should there's basically nothing that we
we need to seek from outside. It's all there.