Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Don’t Be Surprised the Difficulties of the World [Hikam 24]

hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala, so you didn't

know Celine or an early, he was so happy he married a mother

how to deal with sorrows, how to deal with difficulties, how to

deal with losses and calamities.

A lot of the way the

human works in dealing with different things is that you form

a perspective, you look at a thing in a particular way. And that will

actually help us to,

that will affect the way you deal with something. If you think

something is easy, then you're more likely that you're going to

try to do it. For example, Allah subhanaw taala says in the Quran,

that we made them look less in your eyes, and we made you look

larger in quantity in their eyes.

That obviously means that the perspective has changed. Now, if I

think that I'm against somebody that is much stronger, much

larger, the task is much more difficult, then the reaction is

going to be according.

And if I think that something is very easy to overcome, then I'm

willing to become more brave and do it. So that's human beings.

That's the way human beings are. If we think something is too far,

we're not going to try if, if it's made out to seem closer.

We say Okay, let's go. Have you noticed that sometimes when you're

going somewhere, when you going, there seems to take longer than

when you're coming back? The journey, there seems to take

longer a

lot to do humans has a lot to do with perspective. That's why

probably some of the best of those who manage their life well, is

those who have the best way of looking at things who look at

things very optimistically, who look at things

in a way that they can sometimes break it down. So another another

strategy that they provide is that if you look at it as a big task,

then it's going to seem too much. But if you break it down, say

okay, if I do this part first, if you break it down into its

constituents, I need to do this, then I need to do this, then I

need to buy this, then I need to bring this then I need to add

this, then suddenly it starts becoming manageable. But when you

look at it as a whole owner, how am I going to do this?

So one of the several things that really help in dealing with life

is that when you know that somebody is assisting you so

clearly with the for the Muslims, for anybody who believes in Allah,

the fact that you know that Allah is there to help you. He has the

best, NIA for for us, he has the best in the best in store for us.

And

the other thing we have to know is that this world is going to

inevitably have difficulties.

So when we talk about marriage, even there's going to be

difficulties in marriage. I doubt you will come across anybody who's

never had any small even a small issue in marriage with their

spouse, even the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had

issues with his spouses.

Though there was a wonderful relationship. And the Prophet

sallallahu sallam was obviously the best of us in character. But

there was an occasion where he left the wives and went and stayed

in loft for approximately 29 days or so. To the extent that Omar the

Allahu anhu, was wondering if he had divorced his wives.

And likewise, once he went to 40, Mara the Allahu anha, his

daughter's house, to look for it to the Allahu anha. And who his

husband and father and said, Oh, we've just had a problem. We had a

bit of a problem, he's in the masjid.

So people have problems. It's about then how you learn to deal

with those problems. So if you know that you're going to have

problems when you get into marriage, you're not going to be

very surprised, you're not going to be out of water, like a fish

out of water when a problem does arise, which inevitably, if you

know that you're going to have with your co workers, you could

run into some complications, some challenges, they don't have to be

major. As long as you know that then it's easy. So this is what if

not, I thought Allah is saying, For to make it easy for us, to

basically tell us the reality of the world, really. He's just

explaining the reality of how things occur in this world. That's

what he's saying. So he's saying, Let us tell him, we'll go a kodari

Madame de vie had hit da,

let us tell her Waku Karima doomed if he had the he, he had to hit

dar for into her MA Prophet in MA Hua was the Hakan

in llama who Mr. Haku was fee. Why do you want to

say that again? My brother in law, who was the hukou was we have why

You will not hear

this word he says, he says, so long as you are in this world, be

not surprised that the existence of sorrows

as long as you remain in this world, don't be surprised that

they will be sorrows that you will have to confront, you will have to

confront others have to confront them. It's just the nature of this

world. For truly the world it the world manifests nothing. But But

what is in keeping with its character, or its inevitable

nature.

Whatever happens in the world,

happens, because that is the nature and the character of the

world. You can't expect it to be anything else.

The only thing you can probably make dua for is Oh Allah, minimize

my problems. Give me our fear, and allow me to deal with them.

But give me i Forgive me well being.

But when they come, you have to deal with look at the Madani life

and the murky life of the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the

difficulties.

So, the commentator of this one of the commentators, Sheikh Abdullah

GUI, he says, As long as you are in the world,

do not be surprised that difficulties, misfortunes and

sorrows, you're going to lose something, your key may break, you

may lose your keys, you may lose your bus pass, you may lose your

travel card, you may lose your bank card, you may lose your

wallet.

I mean, if we start talking about that, you may

have a leak.

You may have a disease, you may have an illness,

you may have relationship problems,

you may not be able to get in a school you want to get into you

may not be able to your clothing may shrink, mundane things went

into the washing your clothing shrink, you went outside, you

thought it wasn't going to rain and then suddenly just poured down

you, you you became soaked.

And so on and so forth. But just as many of those things happen. I

mean, just as so many of those things happen. There are so many

positives that happen.

You weren't expecting to gain something and suddenly you got

something. You weren't expecting to get this particular job and you

got it. You weren't expecting to get a promotion and you got it.

You didn't you never thought that you'd be able to get married to a

such a person and you did.

There are so many different things like that. That's just the nature

of the world. So that's what he's saying, Oh traveler, because at

the end of the day, that's that's what he calls us. We're travelers,

travelers, especially to the spiritual path, because those

people think well, that while you are in this earthly about do not

feel surprised, surprised if clouds of contamination settle

over you. contamination, basically things not going the right way.

When it's pure, there's nothing wrong with it. It's contaminated

life is contaminated with difficulties. An amazing and

surprising event is something that is not expected to transpire.

An amazing and surprising event is something that is not expected to

transpire. If something has to be surprising, or amazing, you're not

going to expect it. Because when you expect something, it's no

longer surprising or astonishing and amazing. So for example, they

suggest that if you're going to give your spouse or anybody gifts,

if it's something ritualistic you're giving that every week I

have to get flowers, or every week, I have to buy him a box of

chocolates, then suddenly it becomes boring.

Because there's no surprise element left, unless you go out of

your way to find new chocolates every week.

Or new flowers every week. There's a surprise there. Because there's

an expectation when you have an expectation. There's no surprise

in these things. So that's why a gift. A gift is made even better.

When there's an element of surprise with it.

Oh, I get the same thing from all the time. That's

and then somebody saying, Oh, he or she brings me different things.

There's a there's a there's a there's there's a thought process

behind it. There's a surprise element behind it.

So an amazing and surprising event is something that is not expected

to transpire regarding the misfortunes and calamities of the

of this world, nothing so then he's basically this is just

building up a premise. Is he saying that

if you're expecting something you won't be surprising. If you're

expecting something, it won't be shocking.

That's what he's saying. That once you get used to expecting

something, it's not going to shock you anymore. It's not going to

surprise you. It should not destabilize you

Though regarding the misfortunes and calamities of this world, if

you look at their essential nature, nothing surprising is

happening. That's what he's trying to say by this.

Because whatever is happening in this world, is inevitable. So it's

not surprising anymore.

And think about that the next time something hits us, Allah give us

out of here the next time anything happens that's out of the

ordinary. Just think of it, that's not a surprise, it's the world is

inevitable.

It'll just make it that much more easier for us to deal with.

Such events are merely the natural manifestation of the attributes of

the world,

you're in the dunya, that's when I get what's going to happen.

Otherwise, you're looking for Paradise. But as long as we're

here, it's not paradise.

contamination, pollution, etc, are the natural and necessary

characteristics of this world. Since Allah Most High has created

it as a trial and a test to distinguish between the patients

and the impatient ones.

Another name for the dunya is what the reason is called dunya is

intuitive name in the sense that it just means closer.

And arciero means the next one. So dunya is closer to us than

Archana. That's why it's a relative term.

Dunya it's also the lower lower world compared to the hereafter.

But another name for the dunya is double IP Tila, the IP Tila in the

abode of tests. And it's also called Double S BB, the abode of

means, because things don't happen by magic key you need means. So

you need a means to be able to deal with surprising events, so

that the surprise factor comes out of it. That's the means where

that's what we're doing right now we're employing a means here by

saying that whenever something happens slowly, slowly, first

time, it's still seems it's still going to seem like a surprise. But

every time that happens, and we make our approach and our reaction

to it that oh, that's not a surprise, just the dunya you will

soon get used to that nothing will surprise you anymore.

For example, when we're dealing with a lot of people's issues, we

probably pretty much heard of everything generally. So nothing

generally surprised us anymore. But to be honest, sometimes once

in a while, something comes up. So recently, somebody called me a few

weeks ago. And he said, Oh, I've got an issue with this that under

the husband wife issue. And okay, I probably heard it. I didn't say

that. I didn't obviously say that. But you know, generally that's

that you've generally heard it generically something with other,

he says Get ready for it.

So I was about to say,

I don't know if I don't even if I said I can't remember if I

actually said that. But I was about to say I've probably heard

it before, it's probably not going to surprise me. I'm not sure if I

said that or not. And then what he actually told me was a level

higher than what I'd heard before. So it was a bit surprising.

Shocking, rather, you know that somebody can stoop so low.

We don't want to become desensitized, of course. But at

the end of the day, this is a coping mechanism. And it's so

important, the coping mechanism, as we'll see from the rest of it,

is that that's what Allah wants us to do that if you freak out, and

you don't know what to do in that situation. He's not saying that

you must make it you must just know it's coming and then just not

do anything about it. Now we're supposed to do something about it.

But what he's supposed to do is sober and patients not freak out.

And then two, three days later, when we've can't do anything,

can't get anywhere. This is Oh, I should be with Allah subhanaw

taala.

That sub aspect should kick in right from the beginning.

And I guess the way to do it is once in Narela, who and you're

immediately remember Allah subhanaw taala.

So that's why he's saying that. These are, this world is a trial,

a test to distinguish between the patient and the impatient one and

between the grateful and the ungrateful one.

So our job then, is that, you know, we have two different types

of tasks in the world. Some are what you call ftld. They're

optional. Right, pray. You don't pray by default. You were not

praying by default. So pray.

avoid, avoid Zina. Avoid stealing. So again, if we don't do anything

wrong, we were by default, not not committing fornication or not

stealing.

So our job when it comes to optional acts is to do as much as

possible of what we've been commanded and stay away from as

much as we've been prohibited from.

That's essentially what our job is. However, there are other cases

in which there is no option for us. We get thrown in

into something or if something gets thrown to us onto us. A

difficulty, a challenge

there, Allah just there what Allah wants from us is there, we're

stuck, right?

Allah wants us to basically do the best thing in that situation which

is to be patient.

Put your trust in Allah subhanaw taala

and do the right thing.

That's our responsibility. So we can't control everything in our

life. But we've been told what to do that if you have an option,

then you know what to do. And if you don't have an option, meaning

if it's thrown at you and you've been forced into a situation,

you're still being told what to do. So Allah has guided us there's

nothing that we should there's basically nothing that we

we need to seek from outside. It's all there.