Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Dealing other people’s quirkiness
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Sometimes, when you have to deal with different people, whether
you're a student, and they are your teachers, or you are a
teacher, and they are your students, or they are your
employer, or they are your workers, what we have to
understand is that you're not going to react to everybody in the
same way.
You're not going to be able to react to everybody in the same
way.
You can't just hit it off with everybody. You can't just be
congenial. You can't just be, you just can't feel the same kind of
connection with everybody says natural human. Now, the one place
that I've seen where somebody actually discusses this and tells
you how to deal with it is Imam Shah Rouhani. And we've actually
covered this in a double saba.
In the other Osama series that we've done, it's on YouTube,
a double sword, but the etiquette of companionship, he deals with
pretty much all of these things, that sometimes there's just
somebody that you don't like them because of their behavior. There's
nothing wrong with them. But there's some little quirky actions
that they do that put you off. They're a nice person, but maybe
they just keep touching their nose a lot. And you just find that
really, or maybe they just have a weird look to you. I'm saying to
you, because they can be completely normal weirdness is in
the eye of the beholder, generally speaking. And just like other
people are weird to us. A friend told me when I said that about
somebody, you said to me, you probably read as well for other
people. So that's an absolute possibility, right? So he says,
what you should do for these people. And this is something we
have to do for ourselves really, is that you must think that I
shouldn't think like this, you must start making dua for them,
you can go and maybe give them a gift or something like that. And
then try to see that try to overlook these aspects with
certain people, especially if you're in the kind of lower
position and you have to respect certain people, your teacher, your
employees, or whatever the case is. And you can't just then in
that case, you just have to accept that as long as you're not doing
anything wrong. As long as you are not overstepping the boundaries,
and you're fulfilling the rights of one another. That's fine. You
can't just be cool. Why can't you just be cool, like everybody else?
Well, that's just not gonna happen. That's not his nature.
That's not her nature.
So we have to understand these boundaries. And the more we become
less idealistic, then the easier it is, and more pragmatic than
it's actually easier to live in this world. Idealistic means you
want everything in an ideal. In your mind, the idea is in your
mind, right?
That's how you want the world to be.
The world isn't going to be like that. The world is very different.
So you have to be pragmatic. You must have ideals. But don't be
idealistic, that it depresses you. But you must have ideals.
Otherwise, if you don't have ideas, then at least have ideas
for yourself. And the more we come closer to the day of judgment
on a slightly different notes, the prophets Allah, some did say that
there will come times of those fitna, so he was asked, okay, what
should we do? He says, your job is to pay back whatever is owed by
you. And if something is owed to you,
then you leave that alone, because it's gonna cause a greater fitna
to try to pursue it. I don't think we're there yet. Hamdulillah we do
have some semblance of the law in this country, at least. But in
other places, it's like that. We look at the Rohingya people. You
think they can go and get a hug, they don't even have a hug. They
don't even have a passport. They don't even have immigration. They
don't even have residential rights in the country. For so many
decades. Now they're in a bad quandary. May Allah make it easy
for them because how are they going to go back?
So the ethnic cleansing is, that's what's taking place. May Allah
subhanaw taala bring about better for them in sha Allah from this
difficulty because in the mercerie usara that is what's important in
the matters to you. So this world is a short time to live in.
Whoever Shaheed they've gone to Allah subhanho wa Taala among
them, I know it brings a lot of misery but whoever has become
Shahid among them, they are they are shaheed they are shaheed and
the miserable life they may have been living in that turmoil, that
turmoil that they had then Allah is taking them to a better place
and those in the camps May Allah subhanaw taala bring about
goodness there for them better for them inshallah.