Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Dealing Misfortunes

Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera
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The speakers discuss the concept of... "monster" and the "monster of the world." They emphasize the importance of finding the right balance between pursuing one's goals and avoiding harms, and the danger of "monster of the world." They stress the need for a positive attitude to one's life and avoiding feeling upset or sadness.

AI: Summary ©

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			Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Al
hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa
		
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			salatu salam ala so you didn't
mursaleen while he was so happy
		
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			Germaine
		
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			a Mobarak call Allahu Tada I feel
Quran in Nigeria will for carnal
		
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			Hamid
		
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			Allah in earlier Allah He has
often led him wander home
		
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			yesterday noon. So the Kola hula
team in Sharla. What I want to
		
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			cover very briefly today is that
generally when we going through
		
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			life, normally, there's always
going to be things that we lose
		
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			once in a while, nothing goes
always perfectly, we have the best
		
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			product sometimes. And even that
gives up, you buy something very
		
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			new, and then something happens to
that you get a job and then
		
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			sometimes you lose that job. So
there's many things that can go
		
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			wrong in this world. And we've
probably had enough experience in
		
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			this world to show that many many
things go wrong and not everything
		
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			goes always 100%. Right.
hamdulillah many things do go
		
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			right. But that's the nature of
the world. And I think we have to
		
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			come to terms with that. That's
the nature of the world. What
		
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			really helps to come to terms with
that, because it's a reality. It
		
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			we'd rather come to terms with it
and deal with it than to get
		
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			really upset and grieve over it
each time because if we get upset
		
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			and we grieve over it each time,
then that's just that much more
		
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			grief for no reason. So what I
want to speak about today is what
		
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			the scholars have called Hossam
fie Amrit duniya herzan family
		
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			dunya, which is basically grief
over a worldly matter, grief over
		
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			a worldly matter. And the way they
define that is they say that grief
		
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			over a worldly matter is when you
feel pain and sorrow for not
		
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			attaining a particular material
blessing.
		
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			We don't feel we feel very
sorrowful we feel really bad that
		
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			we didn't get a particular
material blessing, not a spiritual
		
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			blessing, that it's completely
fine and probably encouraged to
		
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			feel grief over that I couldn't
wake up for tahajud today, I
		
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			couldn't do all of my prayers
today. I have Kazaa and make a
		
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			press to still make I need to
still make more prayers. So all of
		
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			these things are considered to be
for the sake of Allah subhanaw
		
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			taala and to feel grief over that
is only going to encourage us to
		
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			inshallah do better make us feel
remorseful and remorse is
		
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			important for Toba. Without
Remorse you can't have Toba. So if
		
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			we don't feel grief that we have
not attained something of the
		
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			Akira, something related to Allah,
then that's actually a bad thing.
		
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			But if we keep feeling really
grievous, not over religious,
		
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			losing religious things, but
losing a worldly things,
		
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			especially when we're looking at
others and what they haven't we
		
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			don't have, or something that we
wanted to get, and we didn't get.
		
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			So it's the feel that a person a
feel the pain and the sorrow that
		
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			a person feels of not attaining
some kind of material blessings.
		
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			And the opposite of that the
opposite of that is, too, or
		
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			actually another problem that
comes with that is that a person
		
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			gets so excited when they actually
do get it because if you're going
		
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			to be upset, if you don't get
something, then when you do get
		
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			it, you're going to be overly
excited. Now, there's nothing
		
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			wrong with getting excited when
you get something. If Allah gives
		
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			you a new car, if he gives you a
child, it gives you a nice house
		
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			gives you a nice dress gives you a
nice husband to marry. Right? A
		
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			nice spouse, whatever Hamdulillah
you know, whatever Allah subhanaw
		
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			taala gives you, you can be
excited about that you can thank
		
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			Allah subhanaw taala for that you
can be you can show your
		
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			gratitude. But if you get overly
excited about it, then that's a
		
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			problem because we shouldn't be so
overly excited about the dunya.
		
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			Excitement is fine, but over
excitement, which is if you don't
		
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			get it you you would end up being
sorrowful it's the same two
		
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			extremes that need to be avoided.
That's why the Scholars they
		
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			explained that the reason for both
of these problems where you feel
		
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			extreme sense of sorrow and
sadness when you lose something of
		
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			the dunya, or
		
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			over happiness, when you get
something good is basically love
		
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			of the dunya
		
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			love of the dunya and number two,
expecting that we will attain
		
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			every one of our desires. Now you
might say what's wrong with
		
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			attaining every one of our
desires.
		
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			What's wrong with attaining every
one of our desires is we may hope
		
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			to have them but if we feel we
must have them then that means we
		
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			are challenging Allah subhanaw
taala to say we know what's best
		
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			for ourself.
		
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			Now if we always keep it in our
mind, that I do want things
		
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			because I have to plan for my own
self and my own future. And I have
		
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			to want things of what I think
will be beneficial for me, both in
		
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			this world like a business like
house or whatever, which is fine.
		
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			But if we feel
		
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			Allah, it must happen the way that
I have decided it. And if it
		
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			doesn't, I'm going to get really
upset, then that means we don't
		
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			understand that Allah knows better
than us. And Allah subhanaw taala
		
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			doesn't give everything to
everybody.
		
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			Because there are so many other
people that may be affected by
		
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			what we get what we want to get,
and it may not be healthy for
		
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			them. So Allah doesn't give it to
us. Unless it's a case where we,
		
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			Allah gives it to us. Other people
are harmed by it, and then we're
		
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			sinful because of it. So that's a
possibility. But then NASA either
		
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			that's not that's not an atma. If
Allah gives us something by which
		
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			we oppress others, trouble others,
cause problem to others than is
		
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			that thing and atma. How can that
thing be a bounty, it's only a
		
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			bounty if we get it. And we use it
in a right and sound way, in a
		
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			healthy way, in a useful way, in a
beneficial way, we don't harm
		
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			anybody with it. So whatever we
have decided we want in this life,
		
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			and whatever we decide we want in
this life, that's fine. It's good
		
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			to have ambitions and goals. But
to be really upset if we don't get
		
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			all of them. That is the problem.
Because we also have to understand
		
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			that Allah is the ultimate
planner, ultimate decider,
		
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			ultimate administrator of this
world. And he will give it to us
		
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			according to what is beneficial,
and conducive, and appropriate and
		
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			suitable for the whole world to
work the way he wants it to work.
		
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			That's why Allah doesn't give us
things when we ask for him
		
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			straight away, because it may not
be appropriate for us to have them
		
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			right now, maybe it might be
appropriate next year, or maybe
		
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			after five years, or maybe never.
		
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			Because Allah knows all of these
things, he knows the Unseen. So
		
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			this problem of feeling really
upset when you don't get
		
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			something. And there's a lot of us
who feel like that, they get
		
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			really upset, and they cry
forever, as people who wanted to
		
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			get married to somebody, but it
broke off.
		
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			And they upset, just move on, you
have to move on. Otherwise, you
		
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			will feel upset that the therapy
of it is to move on the solution.
		
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			That's why this stems from love of
the world and expecting attainment
		
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			of every one of every one of our
aims, and continuation of all of
		
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			one's blessings. And that is going
to be pure ignorance because
		
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			that's not the way the world
works.
		
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			It's just not the way the world
works.
		
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			Instead of that one should have
ideas about what they want into
		
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			the world, but their main focus,
and all of this concern, and all
		
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			of this sorrow and sadness, which
humans may have Emotionally
		
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			Focused on religious works, that
if I don't do this religious work
		
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			if I don't help out in this
project, for the benefit of the
		
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			poor or the needy or something, if
I don't help out in the masjid, If
		
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			I don't help out with the
children, If I don't help out in
		
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			the community, if I don't donate
this money if I don't make this
		
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			much Salah if I am not able to
cover up if I'm not able to
		
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			observe chastity modesty. If I'm
not able to avoid sin, then I must
		
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			be very unhappy. That's completely
fine to become unhappy for unless
		
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			it leads one to despondency.
That's an extreme. We can't become
		
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			hopeless of Allah's mercy. Shaytan
will also try to abuse this kind
		
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			of a feeling by making us so
upset. When we don't have
		
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			something even from the Akira that
He will make us feel we're good
		
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			for nothing. We can't get
forgiveness. We are doomed for
		
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			hellfire. So that's a problem as
well. So these are all traps of
		
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			the shaytaan around, but the place
to be is in the middle. The place
		
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			to be is that we are if there's
anything that we put all of our
		
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			focus on, then that should be for
the Bathia to solely heart.
		
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			Remember that word alberca asylee
hats, which are basically the
		
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			immortal good deeds, perpetual
good deeds, the good deeds which
		
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			will remain forever, the good
deeds that will go and come with
		
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			us beyond this world. How many of
those are we putting together? How
		
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			much have we got in our balance?
		
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			Allah subhana wa Tada says, Li
Kala, so either Mr. Furter come
		
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			What a tough Rahu Bhima Terkel
		
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			so that you do not
		
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			grieve over your losses, and thus
abandon your submission to Allah
		
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			and that you do not exalt and show
off
		
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			and get over elated over what
Allah gives you don't get so
		
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			excited about that.
		
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			But thank Allah subhanaw taala for
it, then the scholars say that if
		
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			grief takes one, from patience, to
restlessness, we were acting with
		
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			a bit of patience, but then maybe
five things went wrong. You know,
		
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			sometimes when you don't get one
small thing, you can deal with it.
		
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			You don't get another thing you
can still deal with it. When the
		
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			third thing also goes wrong
because I get these questions.
		
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			Um, I said, What's up? Brian goes,
nothing's going right I go, What
		
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			do you mean? He says, Well, look,
I haven't been able to get
		
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			married. Every time I've proposed,
it's got broken, right, I tried to
		
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			get a house, even that I wasn't
able to succeed. And then I lost
		
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			my job. So you can see it's one
after the other one after the
		
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			other. So now what happens is
people are patient first, maybe.
		
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			But now they become restless. And
they start thinking while
		
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			thoughts. This is just Allah, and
his test. So it shouldn't take us
		
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			from patients to restlessness, or,
for example, if we are getting
		
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			everything.
		
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			And
		
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			we need to be grateful, we need to
do sugar of that. But if it goes
		
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			from sugar, to getting
overexcited, and acting with
		
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			haughtiness and arrogance, and
acting like I'm the best, and I
		
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			have everything, then these two
emotions are unlawful. So in the
		
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			first one, to do patients is fine.
But then to become depressed and
		
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			to become despondent and hopeless
is a problem. And in the other
		
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			case, to be satisfied, and to
thank Allah is wonderful. But to
		
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			go over and think it's because of
me, I've got this and become
		
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			arrogant and haughty, and think
that Allah loves me more than
		
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			anybody else, then that's a
problem. So these two are problem.
		
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			spiritual perfection, though, for
anybody spiritual perfection, if
		
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			they want perfection in this, as
the other might have mentioned, is
		
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			that
		
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			spiritual perfection is to get
		
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			worldly matters, when when to have
worldly matters, or losing them
		
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			are the same for somebody, that's
a big ask, that's a big deal.
		
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			If I get that job, I'm happy. If I
don't get that job, I'm happy.
		
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			Now, for somebody who already has
a job, and he's a decent income.
		
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			And he's trying to get another job
or another business. And he's
		
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			thinking, or she's thinking that
if I do that, and Alhamdulillah,
		
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			if it works, I'm happy. If it
doesn't work, I'm also happy, that
		
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			makes that easier, because you
already have something to fall
		
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			back on. It becomes more tough for
somebody who doesn't have a job
		
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			and who's struggling, and then he
doesn't get a job, he is not going
		
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			to think if I get the job, I'm
happy, he's going to be very
		
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			happy. But if he doesn't get a
job, I'm also happy. That is how a
		
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			spiritually perfect person needs
to be. That's what we should be
		
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			aiming towards. Now, I'm going to
tell you from now that if you
		
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			don't have that state, we need to
ask Allah to help us attain it
		
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			don't become despondent again. But
it's just it's just the level that
		
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			we're speaking about, which is a
high level that it doesn't matter
		
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			then because we're so connected to
Allah and our trust in Allah is so
		
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			great that okay, even if I don't
get the job, I know Allah is going
		
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			to look after me. But I'm going to
try Allah looking after me doesn't
		
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			mean we don't try. We're going to
try but we're not going to freak
		
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			out if we if we if we don't get
it. Similar thing. Somebody wants
		
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			to get married to somebody, they
sent the proposal. They've made
		
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			them wait for one month, and then
after one month, they said no.
		
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			Right? After that, they said no.
Okay, then obviously, you're going
		
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			to feel upset, because the more
you wait, the more your emotion
		
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			gets attached. So it's about
always helping ourselves to think
		
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			even if I lose it, it doesn't
matter. Even if I lose it, it
		
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			doesn't matter. Allah knows best.
If we through that month, if we
		
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			thought of it that way, then after
a month, if we did get a
		
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			rejection, you won't feel so bad.
You will still have to deal with
		
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			it. But it won't feel so bad.
Because we know that Allah we've
		
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			been thinking about Allah that oh
Allah make the best I've been
		
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			doing is the Hara. And if we do
get it Alhamdulillah. So thinking
		
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			that I may not get it, and I'll be
fine with it doesn't stop you from
		
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			getting it.
		
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			That's what's important to
understand, to have this attitude,
		
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			that it doesn't matter if I don't
get it doesn't stop you from
		
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			getting it because we still must
try our best to get it whatever is
		
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			reasonably Correct. To make that
kind of an effort. We do that. But
		
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			it's not going to stop us from
getting that thing if we have that
		
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			thought, but it will benefit us if
we don't get it. And there are at
		
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			least, you know, maybe 30 to 50%
of things that we may go for we
		
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			may not get everybody has a
different percentage Allah, I've
		
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			noticed that there's some people
Allah tests just more than others.
		
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			And I think that those people are
just closer to Allah.
		
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			Because if they're genuinely
righteous people that are you
		
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			know, generally pious people, and
they get tested more, or
		
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			something's always going wrong for
them. I had a friend like that.
		
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			And something always, you know,
accidentally started other. But I
		
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			think for him, it's just Allah
raising his status, and Allah has
		
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			given him a lot of patience. So
there's no harm in thinking that
		
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			way. It's the best way to think we
ask Allah to give us that kind of
		
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			thought.
		
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			And this is the benefit of this is
this is what you call the slim.
		
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			We have an idea in Islam called
the slim the slim means full
		
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			submission wholehearted submission
is called wholehearted submission.
		
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			And so that's the slim the slim
means wholehearted submission to
		
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			Allah. I know we use that as a
name for people to slim. But the
		
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			slim basically also means
wholehearted submission to Allah
		
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			subhanaw taala. And the second
level after it's the sweet, which
		
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			means to even consign one matters
to Allah, which is very rare to
		
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			then just say I'm, I'm going to
make an effort, but I'll just
		
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			leave everything up to you, the
stream is that I will accept any
		
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			outcome.
		
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			But the fee is I leave everything
to you. So we ask Allah subhanaw
		
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			taala for Tofik. In this regard, I
just want to mention one really
		
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			interesting, interesting thing for
us is that anything that we are
		
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			going, we are going after, and
we're looking for, and we have an
		
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			ambition for, then what should be
our attitude and that aside from
		
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			the fact that if we don't get it,
we're not going to feel upset, we
		
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			should always try to have the best
intention for why we're doing it
		
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			even in mundane matters of the
world. Even routine activities of
		
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			the world.
		
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			Whether that be cooking for the
family, right, I'm doing it so
		
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			that inshallah they can be
healthy, they can pray with that
		
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			they can, the husband can,
		
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			you know, have a living, I will
make them happy.
		
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			People who cook with that kind of
a thing in mind, with the thought
		
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			of Allah in mind, their food is
going to have Baraka.
		
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			They say that halal and pure some
food, halal and pure food, halal
		
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			in terms of earning Halal in terms
of ingredients, and pure in terms
		
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			of
		
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			how you do it, the thought process
inside it
		
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			that will only help to get people
to do good deeds. If you put halal
		
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			food inside, then only good deeds
will come about. If we put haram
		
00:17:03 --> 00:17:08
			food inside, then bad deeds will
come about. And if we put doubtful
		
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			foods inside, then we may do good
deeds, but then they will be
		
00:17:11 --> 00:17:14
			corrupt good deeds, because we
will either be showing off in
		
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			them, or we won't be thankful to
Allah, and they will be corrupt in
		
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			that regard. This is what the
other one mentioned. That's why
		
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			sometimes if we notice that
generally we're fine. But we just
		
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			sometimes we find ourselves like,
you know, after a few months, we
		
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			fall into a sin, and we can't help
it. So one of the things to check
		
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			out would be have we eaten
something haram recently?
		
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			Right? Or have we done something
excessive recently, like, maybe
		
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			criticize somebody or press
someone because the bad influence
		
00:17:46 --> 00:17:49
			of that is a while we don't
normally do that sin we fall into
		
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			that sin, we suddenly start
missing them as solids.
		
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			We were able to get off a solid
but these two three days were such
		
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			that we couldn't get off a solid.
		
00:17:58 --> 00:18:02
			Why? Why all of a sudden, still
sleeping at the same time.
		
00:18:03 --> 00:18:06
			Maybe it's because of some haram
food or some other deed that we've
		
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			just done. There's always
something like that that's an
		
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			effect. So in anything that we do
try to have a good intention of
		
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			why we're doing it, find a good
intention of why we're doing it.
		
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			That's why if not, I thought Allah
Rahim Allah he says that nothing
		
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			you seek
		
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			through your Lord proves
difficult.
		
00:18:27 --> 00:18:30
			Anything that you want, and you're
doing it through Allah, like
		
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			you're doing it with an intention
to please Allah, for the sake of
		
00:18:33 --> 00:18:37
			Allah for something that Allah has
told us to do, it will it will not
		
00:18:37 --> 00:18:40
			prove difficult, because Allah
will just make it easy for you
		
00:18:40 --> 00:18:43
			psychologically, physically
inshallah as well to attain that
		
00:18:43 --> 00:18:48
			thing. And then he says, Nothing
you seek through yourself proves
		
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			easy.
		
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			So even if it's something may be
praiseworthy, but you are relying
		
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			too much on yourself to attain it.
You want to start a madrasa you
		
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			want to start classes, you want to
start helping someone but you
		
00:19:02 --> 00:19:04
			don't think about that you're
doing it for the sake of Allah,
		
00:19:04 --> 00:19:09
			I'm doing it for my name, my game
I want to, you know, be known for
		
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			this or whatever the case is, then
it will not prove easy.
		
00:19:15 --> 00:19:20
			So again, what he says, Nothing
you seek through your Lord will
		
00:19:20 --> 00:19:24
			prove difficult, and nothing you
seek through yourself proves easy.
		
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			So may Allah subhanaw taala give
us that state that whenever we're
		
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			seeking anything, whether that be
a new car, or whether that be a
		
00:19:34 --> 00:19:38
			new bed, we're looking for
whatever it is new clothing,
		
00:19:38 --> 00:19:42
			anything that we try to have a
good intention. And if we're not
		
00:19:42 --> 00:19:45
			going to get something, then we
don't feel bad and we prepare
		
00:19:45 --> 00:19:47
			ourselves for that. And if we do
have something we do sugar and we
		
00:19:47 --> 00:19:53
			do not over get overexcited about
it. We ask Allah for tofi ask
		
00:19:53 --> 00:19:56
			Allah for assisting us in this
regard and for correcting our
		
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			understanding, working with Dawa
and Al Hamdulillah
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:00
			Enemy