Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Dealing Misfortunes
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Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa
salatu salam ala so you didn't mursaleen while he was so happy
Germaine
a Mobarak call Allahu Tada I feel Quran in Nigeria will for carnal
Hamid
Allah in earlier Allah He has often led him wander home
yesterday noon. So the Kola hula team in Sharla. What I want to
cover very briefly today is that generally when we going through
life, normally, there's always going to be things that we lose
once in a while, nothing goes always perfectly, we have the best
product sometimes. And even that gives up, you buy something very
new, and then something happens to that you get a job and then
sometimes you lose that job. So there's many things that can go
wrong in this world. And we've probably had enough experience in
this world to show that many many things go wrong and not everything
goes always 100%. Right. hamdulillah many things do go
right. But that's the nature of the world. And I think we have to
come to terms with that. That's the nature of the world. What
really helps to come to terms with that, because it's a reality. It
we'd rather come to terms with it and deal with it than to get
really upset and grieve over it each time because if we get upset
and we grieve over it each time, then that's just that much more
grief for no reason. So what I want to speak about today is what
the scholars have called Hossam fie Amrit duniya herzan family
dunya, which is basically grief over a worldly matter, grief over
a worldly matter. And the way they define that is they say that grief
over a worldly matter is when you feel pain and sorrow for not
attaining a particular material blessing.
We don't feel we feel very sorrowful we feel really bad that
we didn't get a particular material blessing, not a spiritual
blessing, that it's completely fine and probably encouraged to
feel grief over that I couldn't wake up for tahajud today, I
couldn't do all of my prayers today. I have Kazaa and make a
press to still make I need to still make more prayers. So all of
these things are considered to be for the sake of Allah subhanaw
taala and to feel grief over that is only going to encourage us to
inshallah do better make us feel remorseful and remorse is
important for Toba. Without Remorse you can't have Toba. So if
we don't feel grief that we have not attained something of the
Akira, something related to Allah, then that's actually a bad thing.
But if we keep feeling really grievous, not over religious,
losing religious things, but losing a worldly things,
especially when we're looking at others and what they haven't we
don't have, or something that we wanted to get, and we didn't get.
So it's the feel that a person a feel the pain and the sorrow that
a person feels of not attaining some kind of material blessings.
And the opposite of that the opposite of that is, too, or
actually another problem that comes with that is that a person
gets so excited when they actually do get it because if you're going
to be upset, if you don't get something, then when you do get
it, you're going to be overly excited. Now, there's nothing
wrong with getting excited when you get something. If Allah gives
you a new car, if he gives you a child, it gives you a nice house
gives you a nice dress gives you a nice husband to marry. Right? A
nice spouse, whatever Hamdulillah you know, whatever Allah subhanaw
taala gives you, you can be excited about that you can thank
Allah subhanaw taala for that you can be you can show your
gratitude. But if you get overly excited about it, then that's a
problem because we shouldn't be so overly excited about the dunya.
Excitement is fine, but over excitement, which is if you don't
get it you you would end up being sorrowful it's the same two
extremes that need to be avoided. That's why the Scholars they
explained that the reason for both of these problems where you feel
extreme sense of sorrow and sadness when you lose something of
the dunya, or
over happiness, when you get something good is basically love
of the dunya
love of the dunya and number two, expecting that we will attain
every one of our desires. Now you might say what's wrong with
attaining every one of our desires.
What's wrong with attaining every one of our desires is we may hope
to have them but if we feel we must have them then that means we
are challenging Allah subhanaw taala to say we know what's best
for ourself.
Now if we always keep it in our mind, that I do want things
because I have to plan for my own self and my own future. And I have
to want things of what I think will be beneficial for me, both in
this world like a business like house or whatever, which is fine.
But if we feel
Allah, it must happen the way that I have decided it. And if it
doesn't, I'm going to get really upset, then that means we don't
understand that Allah knows better than us. And Allah subhanaw taala
doesn't give everything to everybody.
Because there are so many other people that may be affected by
what we get what we want to get, and it may not be healthy for
them. So Allah doesn't give it to us. Unless it's a case where we,
Allah gives it to us. Other people are harmed by it, and then we're
sinful because of it. So that's a possibility. But then NASA either
that's not that's not an atma. If Allah gives us something by which
we oppress others, trouble others, cause problem to others than is
that thing and atma. How can that thing be a bounty, it's only a
bounty if we get it. And we use it in a right and sound way, in a
healthy way, in a useful way, in a beneficial way, we don't harm
anybody with it. So whatever we have decided we want in this life,
and whatever we decide we want in this life, that's fine. It's good
to have ambitions and goals. But to be really upset if we don't get
all of them. That is the problem. Because we also have to understand
that Allah is the ultimate planner, ultimate decider,
ultimate administrator of this world. And he will give it to us
according to what is beneficial, and conducive, and appropriate and
suitable for the whole world to work the way he wants it to work.
That's why Allah doesn't give us things when we ask for him
straight away, because it may not be appropriate for us to have them
right now, maybe it might be appropriate next year, or maybe
after five years, or maybe never.
Because Allah knows all of these things, he knows the Unseen. So
this problem of feeling really upset when you don't get
something. And there's a lot of us who feel like that, they get
really upset, and they cry forever, as people who wanted to
get married to somebody, but it broke off.
And they upset, just move on, you have to move on. Otherwise, you
will feel upset that the therapy of it is to move on the solution.
That's why this stems from love of the world and expecting attainment
of every one of every one of our aims, and continuation of all of
one's blessings. And that is going to be pure ignorance because
that's not the way the world works.
It's just not the way the world works.
Instead of that one should have ideas about what they want into
the world, but their main focus, and all of this concern, and all
of this sorrow and sadness, which humans may have Emotionally
Focused on religious works, that if I don't do this religious work
if I don't help out in this project, for the benefit of the
poor or the needy or something, if I don't help out in the masjid, If
I don't help out with the children, If I don't help out in
the community, if I don't donate this money if I don't make this
much Salah if I am not able to cover up if I'm not able to
observe chastity modesty. If I'm not able to avoid sin, then I must
be very unhappy. That's completely fine to become unhappy for unless
it leads one to despondency. That's an extreme. We can't become
hopeless of Allah's mercy. Shaytan will also try to abuse this kind
of a feeling by making us so upset. When we don't have
something even from the Akira that He will make us feel we're good
for nothing. We can't get forgiveness. We are doomed for
hellfire. So that's a problem as well. So these are all traps of
the shaytaan around, but the place to be is in the middle. The place
to be is that we are if there's anything that we put all of our
focus on, then that should be for the Bathia to solely heart.
Remember that word alberca asylee hats, which are basically the
immortal good deeds, perpetual good deeds, the good deeds which
will remain forever, the good deeds that will go and come with
us beyond this world. How many of those are we putting together? How
much have we got in our balance?
Allah subhana wa Tada says, Li Kala, so either Mr. Furter come
What a tough Rahu Bhima Terkel
so that you do not
grieve over your losses, and thus abandon your submission to Allah
and that you do not exalt and show off
and get over elated over what Allah gives you don't get so
excited about that.
But thank Allah subhanaw taala for it, then the scholars say that if
grief takes one, from patience, to restlessness, we were acting with
a bit of patience, but then maybe five things went wrong. You know,
sometimes when you don't get one small thing, you can deal with it.
You don't get another thing you can still deal with it. When the
third thing also goes wrong because I get these questions.
Um, I said, What's up? Brian goes, nothing's going right I go, What
do you mean? He says, Well, look, I haven't been able to get
married. Every time I've proposed, it's got broken, right, I tried to
get a house, even that I wasn't able to succeed. And then I lost
my job. So you can see it's one after the other one after the
other. So now what happens is people are patient first, maybe.
But now they become restless. And they start thinking while
thoughts. This is just Allah, and his test. So it shouldn't take us
from patients to restlessness, or, for example, if we are getting
everything.
And
we need to be grateful, we need to do sugar of that. But if it goes
from sugar, to getting overexcited, and acting with
haughtiness and arrogance, and acting like I'm the best, and I
have everything, then these two emotions are unlawful. So in the
first one, to do patients is fine. But then to become depressed and
to become despondent and hopeless is a problem. And in the other
case, to be satisfied, and to thank Allah is wonderful. But to
go over and think it's because of me, I've got this and become
arrogant and haughty, and think that Allah loves me more than
anybody else, then that's a problem. So these two are problem.
spiritual perfection, though, for anybody spiritual perfection, if
they want perfection in this, as the other might have mentioned, is
that
spiritual perfection is to get
worldly matters, when when to have worldly matters, or losing them
are the same for somebody, that's a big ask, that's a big deal.
If I get that job, I'm happy. If I don't get that job, I'm happy.
Now, for somebody who already has a job, and he's a decent income.
And he's trying to get another job or another business. And he's
thinking, or she's thinking that if I do that, and Alhamdulillah,
if it works, I'm happy. If it doesn't work, I'm also happy, that
makes that easier, because you already have something to fall
back on. It becomes more tough for somebody who doesn't have a job
and who's struggling, and then he doesn't get a job, he is not going
to think if I get the job, I'm happy, he's going to be very
happy. But if he doesn't get a job, I'm also happy. That is how a
spiritually perfect person needs to be. That's what we should be
aiming towards. Now, I'm going to tell you from now that if you
don't have that state, we need to ask Allah to help us attain it
don't become despondent again. But it's just it's just the level that
we're speaking about, which is a high level that it doesn't matter
then because we're so connected to Allah and our trust in Allah is so
great that okay, even if I don't get the job, I know Allah is going
to look after me. But I'm going to try Allah looking after me doesn't
mean we don't try. We're going to try but we're not going to freak
out if we if we if we don't get it. Similar thing. Somebody wants
to get married to somebody, they sent the proposal. They've made
them wait for one month, and then after one month, they said no.
Right? After that, they said no. Okay, then obviously, you're going
to feel upset, because the more you wait, the more your emotion
gets attached. So it's about always helping ourselves to think
even if I lose it, it doesn't matter. Even if I lose it, it
doesn't matter. Allah knows best. If we through that month, if we
thought of it that way, then after a month, if we did get a
rejection, you won't feel so bad. You will still have to deal with
it. But it won't feel so bad. Because we know that Allah we've
been thinking about Allah that oh Allah make the best I've been
doing is the Hara. And if we do get it Alhamdulillah. So thinking
that I may not get it, and I'll be fine with it doesn't stop you from
getting it.
That's what's important to understand, to have this attitude,
that it doesn't matter if I don't get it doesn't stop you from
getting it because we still must try our best to get it whatever is
reasonably Correct. To make that kind of an effort. We do that. But
it's not going to stop us from getting that thing if we have that
thought, but it will benefit us if we don't get it. And there are at
least, you know, maybe 30 to 50% of things that we may go for we
may not get everybody has a different percentage Allah, I've
noticed that there's some people Allah tests just more than others.
And I think that those people are just closer to Allah.
Because if they're genuinely righteous people that are you
know, generally pious people, and they get tested more, or
something's always going wrong for them. I had a friend like that.
And something always, you know, accidentally started other. But I
think for him, it's just Allah raising his status, and Allah has
given him a lot of patience. So there's no harm in thinking that
way. It's the best way to think we ask Allah to give us that kind of
thought.
And this is the benefit of this is this is what you call the slim.
We have an idea in Islam called the slim the slim means full
submission wholehearted submission is called wholehearted submission.
And so that's the slim the slim means wholehearted submission to
Allah. I know we use that as a name for people to slim. But the
slim basically also means wholehearted submission to Allah
subhanaw taala. And the second level after it's the sweet, which
means to even consign one matters to Allah, which is very rare to
then just say I'm, I'm going to make an effort, but I'll just
leave everything up to you, the stream is that I will accept any
outcome.
But the fee is I leave everything to you. So we ask Allah subhanaw
taala for Tofik. In this regard, I just want to mention one really
interesting, interesting thing for us is that anything that we are
going, we are going after, and we're looking for, and we have an
ambition for, then what should be our attitude and that aside from
the fact that if we don't get it, we're not going to feel upset, we
should always try to have the best intention for why we're doing it
even in mundane matters of the world. Even routine activities of
the world.
Whether that be cooking for the family, right, I'm doing it so
that inshallah they can be healthy, they can pray with that
they can, the husband can,
you know, have a living, I will make them happy.
People who cook with that kind of a thing in mind, with the thought
of Allah in mind, their food is going to have Baraka.
They say that halal and pure some food, halal and pure food, halal
in terms of earning Halal in terms of ingredients, and pure in terms
of
how you do it, the thought process inside it
that will only help to get people to do good deeds. If you put halal
food inside, then only good deeds will come about. If we put haram
food inside, then bad deeds will come about. And if we put doubtful
foods inside, then we may do good deeds, but then they will be
corrupt good deeds, because we will either be showing off in
them, or we won't be thankful to Allah, and they will be corrupt in
that regard. This is what the other one mentioned. That's why
sometimes if we notice that generally we're fine. But we just
sometimes we find ourselves like, you know, after a few months, we
fall into a sin, and we can't help it. So one of the things to check
out would be have we eaten something haram recently?
Right? Or have we done something excessive recently, like, maybe
criticize somebody or press someone because the bad influence
of that is a while we don't normally do that sin we fall into
that sin, we suddenly start missing them as solids.
We were able to get off a solid but these two three days were such
that we couldn't get off a solid.
Why? Why all of a sudden, still sleeping at the same time.
Maybe it's because of some haram food or some other deed that we've
just done. There's always something like that that's an
effect. So in anything that we do try to have a good intention of
why we're doing it, find a good intention of why we're doing it.
That's why if not, I thought Allah Rahim Allah he says that nothing
you seek
through your Lord proves difficult.
Anything that you want, and you're doing it through Allah, like
you're doing it with an intention to please Allah, for the sake of
Allah for something that Allah has told us to do, it will it will not
prove difficult, because Allah will just make it easy for you
psychologically, physically inshallah as well to attain that
thing. And then he says, Nothing you seek through yourself proves
easy.
So even if it's something may be praiseworthy, but you are relying
too much on yourself to attain it. You want to start a madrasa you
want to start classes, you want to start helping someone but you
don't think about that you're doing it for the sake of Allah,
I'm doing it for my name, my game I want to, you know, be known for
this or whatever the case is, then it will not prove easy.
So again, what he says, Nothing you seek through your Lord will
prove difficult, and nothing you seek through yourself proves easy.
So may Allah subhanaw taala give us that state that whenever we're
seeking anything, whether that be a new car, or whether that be a
new bed, we're looking for whatever it is new clothing,
anything that we try to have a good intention. And if we're not
going to get something, then we don't feel bad and we prepare
ourselves for that. And if we do have something we do sugar and we
do not over get overexcited about it. We ask Allah for tofi ask
Allah for assisting us in this regard and for correcting our
understanding, working with Dawa and Al Hamdulillah
Enemy