Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Crooked Rib
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Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to men, he is
audiences men. So he's talking to men and he is referring to women,
right? Because married men are married to women. Treat your women
well treat women well,
for they are created from a rib.
And the most crooked part of parts of the rib is the upper part. If
you try to straighten it, you will break it. But if you leave it, it
will remain crooked, crooked. So treat women well.
So what does that mean?
The main thrust of this hadith, right the main maksud a main
objective and message about this hadith is that you must treat your
women with gentleness that's what the prophesy was me saying, right?
If we removed all contentious part of our Well, what do you mean by
being created from a ribbon ribbon crooked? What are you talking
about? If we just ignore that for the moment because the message of
it is that you need to treat your women well, that's the message
okay? So you should treat your women with gentleness and you need
to treat them well. And you need to abandon any hope of making them
perfect and straight in your mind. They're going to remain crooked.
You must exercise beautiful patience in dealing with them
because Allah says we're into Spirou highroller come Allah
Hoover photo Rahim. But that you be patient is better for you.
Allah is Most forgiving, very merciful.
So you're either going to exercise patience in avoiding marriage
altogether. If you think that you can't deal with crookedness, avoid
marriage altogether.
That's a difficult one.
But if you do marry then in your interaction with them, you must
also exercise patience, because patience is going to be part of
your life. Whether you get married or you don't get married. You have
to be patient.
What is it now now that we've understood the main objective of
the Hadith? What does it now mean about creating being created from
a rib? Right?
There could be three reasons for this. It could be more reasons,
but I've come up with three reasons from what I've studied.
Number one being created from a rib can literally refer to the
origin since our mother Eve alayhis. Salam how are they a
Salam was created from the highest Rebbe, wa salam, as numerous
narrations tafazzin, etc. Tell us I mean, you know, it says, Allah
mentions that in the Quran as well that however the sun was created
from other monies around, the rib isn't mentioned the Quran is
mentioned in the Hadith, right. But it's mentioned that he was
created, she was created from him in the Quran. So she was created
from the highest group of other mighty Sudan, which happened to be
also the most crooked one.
Now, if you take a rib, you will probably break it. Before you can
straighten it. It's impossible to straighten. If you try to
straighten, it'll break it.
Furthermore, the second point here is that why are the ribs even
there? Why do we have ribs? It's a cage if have you ever seen ribs,
right? If you see a cross section, the skeleton of a rib section, you
will actually see that they
partially enclose and protect the chest cavity. With as many of our
vital organs they're the heart and the lungs, they literally protect
the heart and the lungs.
And they are curved on both sides of our bodies, both the front and
the back to create a cage to provide the maximum protection
they could not have been straight, it would have been a blemish, a
fault. If they were straight, they curved and that's what makes us
look perfect our torso, etcetera, right. So they could not have been
straight. And this is obviously a sign of Allah's protection,
perfection.
The Crooked rib then,
is the whole crooked idea here, the premise or some is just using
from the whole biology of the of the rib. Right. But then there's
another meaning as well, which is the third point that
well, this is still the second point about the protection that a
woman just like she's being created from the rib which is used
to protect the the essential organs. A woman has all the
characteristics required to perform her function of protecting
her family and children.
So if a man tries to change a woman to be like him,
she would not be able to perform her function, which is mercy and
protection of her loved ones.
So you can't make your wife like you.
Right.
It can also be taken metaphorically and figuratively
in the women from a man's perspective, this is not whether
this is the reality or not, but from the way the man views it or
the way generally men view I don't I
I don't necessarily view it like this. But the way men generally
view it is that they think women are.
You can tell me if this is wrong, if the way you or if there's
something else. They think that women are very emotional. They're
too chatty. Right? To talk too much, sometimes.
They never forget things.
Right? That difficult to please. Unreasonable.
And they can't park their cars properly.
Right?
Among other things, that when you get men together in a room, they
would rightly or wrongly banter about. So we're not saying this is
the reality. But this is what men generally when you get men, and
they're talking about the way, this is what they do, I don't do
this, right. I honestly don't do that. But I'm saying a lot of men
do that. These are the criticisms I have for when women get together
to have other criticisms women.
So men, the prophets are also missing some men, if this is how
you view your women.
If in your perspective, this is how women are, then remember that
that's the nature.
Get over it, and look at their positives, so that you can enjoy
them. Rather than being living a miserable life with this
complaint.
Treat them with kindness, gentleness, and persevere against
their crooked, so called crookedness in your mind, where
you have no other option. You're stuck with them. Right? She will
do things that make no sense to you just accept it. Because that's
how women are.
Does it make sense? So he's talking about from a man's
perspective, he's not saying that's how women are, necessarily.
He's saying that's how you think so well, you better deal with it.
Now.
I'm going to give you the Hadith again, with commentary. So I'm
going to mention the words of the Prophet saw some but with a
community to explain now, based on what I just explained, the profits
or losses words.
When I go like this, it means these are the words the problems
are seldom, a woman is created from a rib and cannot remain in
one state. This is what the person said In another Hadith, meaning
she will not always be how you want her to be, but will waver
between sometimes being thankful and grateful to sometimes being
ungrateful and showing in gratitude that's going to happen
to her. Right? Obedience and disobedience, contentment and
Diskant. Someday we're going to say I'm very happy with you, and
sometimes say you've never done this for me.
So if you want to enjoy her, the professor asked me saying, enjoy
her despite her crookedness
since it cannot leave her again. And if you do try to straighten
her, by exceeding the limits, by using force, and you do not excuse
her waist and overlook her deficiencies, again, because you
will end up breaking her and breaking her means divorcing her,
and of the Hadith from Muslim. Similarly, for women, it's not
always one sided. Similarly for women, if they're going to try to
straighten out the perceived flaws of their husband, whether by brute
force, or by nagging him constantly, right? Drop by drop
nagging every day, that's going to be extremely detrimental to their
relationship as well. What you have to remember is that change
comes from within, you can't force somebody to change, you have to
put the right to make the right environment, you have to make the
right points to try to get them to make one the change from
themselves. That's why a loving and compassionate attitude with
Taqwa is going to obviously prove much more effective than being
critical and repeating oneself. That's one of the best ways to win
people over. I showed her the Allahu anha she was very she was
very savvy in the way she used to when the Prophet sallallahu Hamza
loved over to over right.
Once in a hadith she says that the prophets Allah's Messenger said to
me, that I know when you're pleased with me, and I know when
you're angry with me, he figured her out. He says, I know when
you're angry with me, and I know when you're pleased with me.
I said, How do you know that? He said, When you're pleased with me,
then you generally say no by the Lord of Mohamed, like when you're
speaking and you swear an oath you say no, by the Lord of Muhammad.
But when you're angry with me, you say no, by the Lord of Ibrahim. So
you take my name out.
So now, do you know what she said? She was very young, she was less
than eight. She was only 18 When the process and passed away, and
she got married when she was nine. Right meaning she came to the
province and when she was nine, so this is in between teenage years.
She said
yes, but by
Allah, I leave only your name
in words, otherwise you're in my heart.
Right?
So she confirmed that that point her deep rooted love, by
reassuring the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that it was only
his name that sometimes she left out of saying, but she was he was
always in her heart.
Allahu Akbar. I mean that this hadith indicates to you that they
also had arguments. They also had opportunities to make one another
angry. That's why the person was saying to her, I know when you're
angry with me, and I know when you're happy with me, this is the
best of creation.
They also have healthy arguments. So what do you expect us to do?