Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Causes of Disunity in Society

Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera
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The speakers stress the importance of understanding the differences between the Muslim and western world before achieving change, following quick action and expiration dates. They also stress the importance of following rules and following expiration dates, as well as depth and depth in one's culture to achieve success in Islam. The speakers advise parents to respect and treat their parents' culture towards their love, and to try to win them through finding odd people. They also suggest treating parents with pride and being proud of their parents' culture towards their love, while also encouraging parents to treat their parents the mother of their culture towards their love.

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			Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim Al
hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa
		
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			Salatu was Salam Weider so you
didn't mursaleen wider early he
		
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			was talking to you about a killer
cell limiter sleeve and Kathy Iran
		
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			Elomi Dean Amma Barrett call Allah
hooter Baraka Tada Philip Quran
		
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			emoji they will for corneal Hamid
aloo Ella Vickery in quantum law
		
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			to Allah Moon Bacala Tada, Hull
yester will be in a year either
		
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			moon, well Levine Allah and the
moon in the Maya desert Kuru oral
		
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			album.
		
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			My dear respected brothers and
sisters,
		
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			the topic for today
		
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			is etiquette of disagreement.
etiquette of differences.
		
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			What's very important for us to
understand before we start this is
		
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			that the world that we live in is
considered to be a world that is a
		
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			beauty. And what makes the world
beautiful, what makes what we see
		
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			around us, the world, a beautiful
place is the differences that we
		
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			find in the world. If all of the
flowers were the same,
		
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			if all the trees look the same,
and there was no difference, and
		
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			it was all uniform,
		
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			and just one style, one shape, one
color, one form and one look, then
		
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			this world would be a very, very
boring place, that we no need to
		
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			take holidays. In fact, I used to
wonder when I used to live in
		
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			America, that many of the towns
and cities of America look the
		
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			same. As soon as you go in from
the motorway, the highway, as you
		
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			call it, you start seeing the
billboards for the same hotels,
		
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			motels, restaurants in every city.
Some cities are different than
		
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			others. But otherwise, a lot of
the towns that they seem the same,
		
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			there's no character lifts, in
many places like that. And this is
		
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			what the complaint people have of
modern cities that they all look
		
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			the same. So differences, as Allah
subhanho wa Taala says in the
		
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			Quran,
		
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			Allah subhanaw taala created this
whole universe with differences.
		
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			There's a number of verses to that
effect that describe the
		
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			differences that Allah subhanaw
taala has created this world upon.
		
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			Inshallah, we'll be looking at
some of these verses a bit later.
		
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			First and foremost, to understand
why differences might come about.
		
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			What we have to understand is
differences.
		
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			If we accept that there will be
differences in this world,
		
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			then it becomes easier to deal
with differences. You can even
		
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			start appreciating the
differences, you can actually
		
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			start learning from the
differences once you appreciate
		
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			that people are going to be
different. Imagine if you could
		
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			only buy one type of clothing, one
type of headdress, one type of a
		
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			car, life would have been simpler,
no doubt.
		
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			Having too much variety does
provide complication of choice.
		
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			And your heart does get left
behind. Sometimes, when you've
		
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			purchased a few things, but you
haven't, you also want to buy some
		
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			other things. If there were only
two types of jeans that you can
		
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			buy, then it's very easy to make
that choice and
		
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			make that purchase. But when you
have so many different types, then
		
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			it takes a while for you to read
reviews and look at styles and
		
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			cuts and finishes and colors and
Subhanallah there's just so many
		
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			different things.
		
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			So
		
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			the other challenge that we have
here is that mashallah, in the
		
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			place that we live in, especially
in a big city like London, it's a
		
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			very cosmopolitan city. You have
people here from all over the
		
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			world, our massagin, our masjid,
our institutions are filled with
		
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			various different types of people
who have come from all over the
		
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			world, which gives us an
understanding of
		
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			the beautiful tapestry of the
Muslim community and Amma
		
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			throughout the world.
		
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			If a person is sitting in Nigeria,
in one particular area of Nigeria,
		
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			one particular area of India or
Pakistan, or Egypt, or Palestine,
		
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			they're generally going to be used
to everything that they see around
		
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			them, because everything's going
to be very uniform and one style
		
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			one way, maybe that's how they
were brought up. They've gotten
		
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			used to the few differences that
are found in that one area. Each
		
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			area can only have so many
differences. And if a person has
		
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			lived there for a very long time
they get used to those
		
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			differences. Sometimes they don't
even notice those
		
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			differences because they used to
him. There are differences,
		
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			there's no doubt there's different
because Allah has created every
		
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			one of us difference even to the
twin. The twins, the two twins
		
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			that you find, even they are
different, though subtly, they are
		
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			still different. But we get used
to the differences that we
		
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			confront day in and day out. They
don't they no longer are
		
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			differences, we understand how to
interact with them and use them.
		
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			But when you come to a big city,
and you move country, and you
		
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			travel, and then you confront
people who Subhanallah dressed
		
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			differently, looked differently
have a different color to us maybe
		
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			different skin color, difference,
language, different ethnicity.
		
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			They don't like the food that we
like, we don't really prefer to
		
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			eat their food. Some we like their
food more than our food. So when
		
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			you start seeing that, now what
you need for this
		
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			is the some very secret, there's a
secret ingredient, not a secret
		
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			ingredient, but an important
ingredient that is required here
		
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			to be able to deal with this.
Especially when we share so much
		
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			in terms of humanity. We share
being British maybe. And of course
		
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			we share being Muslim. And because
of being Muslim, we're working in
		
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			the same mosque environment,
Masjid environment, taking our
		
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			children to the same school.
		
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			So now how do you deal with that?
Clearly, there's going to be some
		
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			differences.
		
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			There's going to be differences in
the way people pray our own
		
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			worship is different. They will be
different where people are placing
		
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			their hands in prayer, how they
are making their sujood or they're
		
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			going down knees first, all hands
first.
		
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			Where are they raising their hands
up to? Do they raise their hands
		
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			before Roku and after roku? Today
say Amina louder silently. How
		
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			many records do they perform of
taraweeh prayer, for example, how
		
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			many Takbeer as they do in Eid,
prayer.
		
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			All of these are differences. I'll
tell you that I've had experience
		
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			with this. And when you see it
first it gets complicated. For
		
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			example, when I moved to America,
I had a lot of I'm from the Indian
		
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			subcontinent. When I moved to
America as an imam. In my local
		
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			community. We had a mixture of
various different Arabs from
		
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			different countries, different
Middle Eastern countries, North
		
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			African countries, and it was my
first aid. And when I got to the
		
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			masjid in the morning when I got
to our eat place in the morning,
		
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			everybody was there reading
Takbeer aloud.
		
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			Allah Allahu Akbar Allah, Akbar la
isla Illa Allah who Allah Allahu
		
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			Akbar, Allah Akbar, one in LA
Hill, Hamed and so on so forth.
		
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			First time I've seen this i in the
community I come from that I came
		
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			from, they do this technique, but
individually, you do it on the way
		
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			in eidl Aha, you do it loudly.
Adel fitter you do it silently.
		
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			But there is no collective when
you go into the Masjid. Nobody
		
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			does it loudly. This was the first
time we thought Subhanallah what's
		
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			going on here? Right? I'm the
Imam. I'm supposed to be the
		
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			people expecting me to guide them
on this but they weren't very
		
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			comfortably doing this.
		
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			So now after Eat Pray, I didn't
say anything. You know, people
		
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			were doing the career I did the
Eid prayer of and did the hotbar.
		
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			And the beyond lecture and I came
home. Then I started looking in
		
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			the books. And in a few books,
they said that this was a bitter
		
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			in some of the books when the
question was asked, they said this
		
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			was a bitter this was not done in
the time of the prophets of Allah.
		
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			And this was a bitter.
		
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			So now I have this information. I
think what's happening is wrong.
		
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			I've only looked at one type of
book, there wasn't much delille
		
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			there, it was just that it's never
been done before. I haven't looked
		
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			into why these people are doing
it. And what's the reason for
		
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			doing it? So I'm much younger.
I've just come been graduated
		
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			recently. And I've come and I want
to sort this out.
		
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			So now I go and speak to a few
brothers. And one brother. He
		
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			said, Look, this happens every
happens even in Saudi. I thought
		
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			maybe he's just saying that. I
don't know. I've never been in
		
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			eighth time. I've never been in
Arabia. I've never been in
		
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			Morocco, Morocco, Rama Madina
Munawwara. So then what happened
		
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			is, there was one older
Palestinian uncle who was sitting
		
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			there. So we just, we just as
we're discussing this, we
		
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			mentioned to him that this
shouldn't be happening.
		
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			And I believe what he said if I
remember correctly, so if you
		
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			don't let us do this, then we will
do another eat prayer.
		
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			We will do another eat prayer.
This is very important for us.
		
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			So now you can imagine
		
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			Julian Mason, this is something
new to me. This is something
		
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			strange to me
		
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			later. I understand that in many
places, this is something that has
		
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			been coming down for many, many
centuries. I don't know. Does it
		
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			happen in
		
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			Nigeria? Are you guys from
Nigeria? Does it happen Nigeria?
		
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			Everywhere? is normal. Okay, well
see, it was strange to me. So
		
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			Hamdulillah I managed to keep my
cool and I didn't go in and cause
		
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			a big problem and split the
community because it's very easy
		
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			for somebody to do that.
Especially different people with
		
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			different temperaments will react
differently. Some people will see
		
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			a difference. And they're very
soft hearted. They don't. They
		
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			don't have much courage, maybe,
right? They don't like to upset
		
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			and rock the boat. They say okay,
fine, whatever. Some people know
		
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			this, whatever is right must be
right. We can only do we must sort
		
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			this out. These are different
personalities. My personality is
		
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			like, yes, we need to sort things
out. But today, how I am compared
		
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			to what I was 10 years ago is very
different. I've learned in sha
		
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			Allah a bit of wisdom.
		
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			Wisdom is how you deliver your
knowledge, how you deliver the
		
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			message, many, many ways of
delivering a message.
		
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			And the wisdom is for Allah to
show somebody the best way to
		
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			bring about change and goodness
and to deal with things. Look at
		
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			the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
salam.
		
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			It is the Treaty of who they BIA
is being written after many, many,
		
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			many years of being attacked.
Well, first the prophets Allah
		
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			Islam, as you know, had to leave
with the Sahaba they had to go to
		
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			Mecca, Medina, Madina, Munawwara,
from Maka, maka, Rama. When they
		
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			got there, then they started being
attacked, they had to defend
		
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			themselves so many times.
		
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			Then what happens is
		
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			they want to go for they want to
go for Amara, they want to go to
		
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			Morocco, Kurama. But they can't.
Anyway, eventually, even the
		
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			people of Makkah are tired of the
fighting and the constant war and
		
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			the tech. So they decide that
okay, we will write
		
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			a treaty we will have a peace
treaty,
		
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			an agreement, which is the sooner
who they be. So the Prophet
		
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			sallallahu Sallam is there, he
doesn't read and write officially,
		
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			he doesn't formally write and read
because he's unlettered his cousin
		
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			alira. The Allahu anhu, who is an
		
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			ardent follower and lover of the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
		
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			sallam. He is the one who's
writing from the Mexican side.
		
00:12:40 --> 00:12:44
			It's so Haley Nakamura, who later
becomes a Muslim, but at this time
		
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			is a curfew is not a believer. So
he stopped they stopped writing
		
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			that this is a treaty between
Muhammad Rasul Allah, Muhammad
		
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			Rasool Allah, the Messenger of
Allah, and so and so immediately,
		
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			so Haledon, Allah says, We
disagree with this. If we believed
		
00:13:02 --> 00:13:05
			he was the Messenger of Allah, as
you are tightening him, then this
		
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			would not be a problem. We
wouldn't have to be sitting here
		
00:13:07 --> 00:13:12
			doing this. It should be Mohammed
Abdullah, Abdullah, Mohammed son
		
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			of Abdullah, that's how we know
him. So the Prophet sallallahu
		
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			Sallam immediately said, Yes,
		
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			erase that and change it to
Mohammed Abdullah Abdullah alira,
		
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			the owner refused. He says, I
can't do that.
		
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			I can't do that. So the Prophet
sallallahu Sallam took the pen
		
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			himself, and he scribbled it out
		
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			why SallAllahu it was and why the
bigger picture is more important
		
00:13:36 --> 00:13:41
			than the small detail here. This
was a small detail. But the bigger
		
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			picture, the bigger sacrifice, the
bigger issue that was going to be
		
00:13:45 --> 00:13:48
			jeopardized. That was the big
issue. This is what you call
		
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			wisdom.
		
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			This is what you call wisdom to do
the right thing in the right
		
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			place. And that comes through
experience. Because we're going to
		
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			have a lot of tensions.
		
00:14:01 --> 00:14:04
			There's going to be a lot of
tensions. For example, give you
		
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			another example of this.
		
00:14:08 --> 00:14:10
			For the eliminar yard
		
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			was a great What do you have Allah
Rahim Allah Allah. He was known to
		
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			be a great ascetic, great Willie
of Allah, great Zaha.
		
00:14:19 --> 00:14:23
			And Amanda hubby says that his
son,
		
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			for the luminaria this son was
even more fearful of Allah than
		
00:14:28 --> 00:14:32
			his father. The fear that he had
of Allah was even more than his
		
00:14:32 --> 00:14:32
			father.
		
00:14:33 --> 00:14:37
			And whenever he would hear the
Quran, and certain verses would
		
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			be, he would cry, and he would
break down. There was one sort I
		
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			believe it was hola como Takata.
		
00:14:46 --> 00:14:50
			If I remember correctly, if he
heard that it would be really
		
00:14:50 --> 00:14:55
			torturous for him. For the look,
no as the father was the Imam and
		
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			his wife, the mother of his child,
had said to him and made him
		
00:14:59 --> 00:14:59
			promise that you
		
00:15:00 --> 00:15:02
			You will never recite the surah in
Salaat.
		
00:15:03 --> 00:15:05
			Because your son, he can't deal
with this. We don't know what's
		
00:15:05 --> 00:15:10
			going to happen to him. One day he
thought his son wasn't there. And
		
00:15:10 --> 00:15:15
			he decided to read it. And his son
developed so much fear so much
		
00:15:15 --> 00:15:19
			fear overcame him, that he
actually fell down and passed
		
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			away.
		
00:15:22 --> 00:15:25
			Now for the Loebner era, this son
has just passed away.
		
00:15:27 --> 00:15:31
			But then later he is seen with a
smile on his face. This is why he
		
00:15:31 --> 00:15:34
			said this is you know, to be
satisfied with the decree of Allah
		
00:15:34 --> 00:15:38
			subhanaw taala. You must be
satisfied with the decree of Allah
		
00:15:38 --> 00:15:42
			subhanaw taala. Obviously, he felt
sorrow, but he felt that it was a
		
00:15:42 --> 00:15:46
			responsibility for him to show
satisfaction with the decree of
		
00:15:46 --> 00:15:52
			Allah. There was a tension here,
there was a conflict here, a
		
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			demand of your heart, to weep and
to cry and a demand of your faith
		
00:16:01 --> 00:16:03
			to be satisfied with Allah's
decree.
		
00:16:04 --> 00:16:10
			He, how do you deal with this
tension? He gave preference to the
		
00:16:10 --> 00:16:17
			Rodarte Bill Kedah accept aspect
and subdued the other aspects.
		
00:16:17 --> 00:16:21
			However, was that the right thing
to do? Is the question
		
00:16:23 --> 00:16:27
			was that the best approach? Let us
look back at the Rasulullah
		
00:16:27 --> 00:16:32
			sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He
had a similar tension. He is one
		
00:16:32 --> 00:16:33
			day sitting and he is invited.
		
00:16:35 --> 00:16:38
			There's a messenger who comes from
his daughter that his daughter's
		
00:16:38 --> 00:16:45
			child is sick and is about to pass
away. last moment it seems quickly
		
00:16:45 --> 00:16:49
			Oh father come along. The prophets
Allah some first refused to go he
		
00:16:49 --> 00:16:52
			said he gave some Naseeha he gave
some good words and he says I
		
00:16:52 --> 00:16:56
			can't come. But then when she
insisted, he went along, and he
		
00:16:56 --> 00:17:01
			went along with a few of the
prominent Sahaba companions. When
		
00:17:01 --> 00:17:01
			he got there.
		
00:17:03 --> 00:17:08
			He held the baby who was on its
last breath the child and he began
		
00:17:08 --> 00:17:09
			to weep.
		
00:17:10 --> 00:17:15
			Tears came out of his ears, out of
his eyes welled up, his eyes
		
00:17:15 --> 00:17:16
			welled up with tears.
		
00:17:18 --> 00:17:21
			And the big Sahaba who were with
him, they were surprised. They
		
00:17:21 --> 00:17:22
			said, your Salah, you're crying.
		
00:17:24 --> 00:17:25
			He said, This is Rama,
		
00:17:26 --> 00:17:30
			that Allah puts into the heart of
it, this is Rama, then he, the
		
00:17:30 --> 00:17:34
			explanation was that what was
prohibited was to shout and scream
		
00:17:34 --> 00:17:40
			and tear your clothes and well and
laments. Not this is softness of
		
00:17:40 --> 00:17:45
			the heart that you just expressing
your emotion that is allowed. But
		
00:17:45 --> 00:17:49
			you can't go overboard with that.
It's only the messenger of allah
		
00:17:49 --> 00:17:53
			sallallahu alayhi salam that can
teach us balance, equilibrium,
		
00:17:53 --> 00:17:55
			what to do in the right place.
		
00:17:57 --> 00:18:00
			By reading the serum more and more
and understanding the character of
		
00:18:00 --> 00:18:04
			Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam a
person is then better able to deal
		
00:18:04 --> 00:18:07
			with situations when they come
along. Because there's always
		
00:18:07 --> 00:18:11
			going to be situations, there's
always going to be differences.
		
00:18:11 --> 00:18:16
			Husband and wives are fighting,
because they don't understand
		
00:18:16 --> 00:18:22
			wisdom and interaction. So we see
differences of opinion of all
		
00:18:22 --> 00:18:26
			types. The person who's going to
be successful, is the person
		
00:18:26 --> 00:18:29
			closest to the Surah, Allah
salAllahu alayhi salam, and the
		
00:18:29 --> 00:18:32
			person closest to Rasulullah
sallallahu Sallam is the one who's
		
00:18:32 --> 00:18:37
			going to have the best character.
Best o'clock. That is what you
		
00:18:37 --> 00:18:39
			need to deal with differences.
		
00:18:41 --> 00:18:44
			When a person understands that,
look, I know that I'm at a
		
00:18:44 --> 00:18:50
			disadvantage. There's not much I
can do except shout and argue.
		
00:18:50 --> 00:18:54
			Should I just have a good
argument? At least I'll feel
		
00:18:54 --> 00:19:00
			better. I can speak louder than
him or her. So should I just
		
00:19:00 --> 00:19:02
			scream loud? Even though I'm
wrong?
		
00:19:03 --> 00:19:07
			Is that what it means to win
something? Is that what success
		
00:19:07 --> 00:19:11
			looks like to shout and scream
just because you can do that? Or
		
00:19:11 --> 00:19:14
			maybe you're a very good speaker.
And you know, the other person is
		
00:19:14 --> 00:19:18
			a bit weak, but I'm wrong and not
fully on the right. But I just
		
00:19:18 --> 00:19:21
			want to have the last word is that
what matters?
		
00:19:24 --> 00:19:28
			If I understand that patience is a
virtue, that some of the highest
		
00:19:28 --> 00:19:31
			rewards in Paradise is for
patience.
		
00:19:33 --> 00:19:35
			That I'm going to say no, it's not
worth it.
		
00:19:36 --> 00:19:41
			Even though my temperament, my
nature may be to argue,
		
00:19:42 --> 00:19:46
			but when I know there's virtue,
then the first time maybe I will
		
00:19:46 --> 00:19:51
			mess up, but then I'll regret it
afterwards. The next time in sha
		
00:19:51 --> 00:19:55
			Allah. I may not I may remember in
between only you know what, this
		
00:19:55 --> 00:19:56
			is waste of time.
		
00:19:57 --> 00:19:59
			Allah doesn't like this. This is
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:04
			Very different from how Rasulullah
sallallahu would have done this.
		
00:20:04 --> 00:20:07
			So then they'll stop halfway,
Okay, forget it, forget it.
		
00:20:09 --> 00:20:12
			And the third time, Inshallah,
they'll just say, no, no, no,
		
00:20:12 --> 00:20:17
			look, forget it, man. It's okay,
no problem. It's alright. Okay,
		
00:20:17 --> 00:20:18
			brother, it's okay,
		
00:20:19 --> 00:20:23
			is it we have to train ourselves.
If we don't have any virtue, we
		
00:20:23 --> 00:20:27
			don't see any of the Fidella the
virtue of having good character,
		
00:20:28 --> 00:20:31
			then how we're going to develop
good character. If we see
		
00:20:31 --> 00:20:35
			everybody around us doing the same
thing, that we think this is the
		
00:20:35 --> 00:20:35
			way to do it.
		
00:20:37 --> 00:20:39
			Unfortunately, sometimes
		
00:20:40 --> 00:20:43
			the communities we live in the
kind of people we interact with on
		
00:20:43 --> 00:20:47
			a day to day basis, they have a
certain aspect of bad character.
		
00:20:47 --> 00:20:52
			And we just follow that we do tech
lead of that, we just blindly
		
00:20:52 --> 00:20:55
			follow that we'd be we do the same
thing, because that's all we know.
		
00:20:55 --> 00:21:01
			We don't have any good role models
to tell us differently. So we have
		
00:21:01 --> 00:21:04
			to make that change in difference,
especially when we're living in a
		
00:21:04 --> 00:21:07
			city like this where there are so
many differences. There are just
		
00:21:07 --> 00:21:10
			so many differences. How are we
going to learn to deal with that
		
00:21:10 --> 00:21:11
			difference?
		
00:21:12 --> 00:21:16
			So for example, the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,
		
00:21:17 --> 00:21:20
			and as our iman be baiting,
		
00:21:21 --> 00:21:22
			fie, robertville JANA
		
00:21:23 --> 00:21:26
			Lehmann Thorkil, mira, we're in
Quran and
		
00:21:27 --> 00:21:31
			the Hadith of Buddhahood. And
there's another Hadith intermedia,
		
00:21:31 --> 00:21:36
			which is very similar as well,
that I am the guarantor, I give
		
00:21:36 --> 00:21:38
			guarantee for a house
		
00:21:40 --> 00:21:45
			on the either the periphery of
Jana, or the lower part of Jana,
		
00:21:45 --> 00:21:51
			for the one who avoids argument,
debate and disputes, even though
		
00:21:51 --> 00:21:52
			he's on the truth.
		
00:21:55 --> 00:21:58
			Even though he's on because it's
waste of time, you're not going to
		
00:21:58 --> 00:22:02
			convince them. Even though you're
right, it's just 10 minutes of
		
00:22:02 --> 00:22:08
			time waste, not 10 minutes is, is
your if you're lucky, arguments go
		
00:22:08 --> 00:22:10
			on for half an hour, one hour
until somebody comes in either
		
00:22:10 --> 00:22:14
			says stop, or there's something
you have to go, eventually people
		
00:22:14 --> 00:22:17
			get tired, because all of this
comes from the blood boiling
		
00:22:17 --> 00:22:23
			pressures rising. All of this, and
sometimes it's medical. If you
		
00:22:23 --> 00:22:26
			have diabetes, and you have had
low blood sugar, where you haven't
		
00:22:26 --> 00:22:30
			eaten for a while, and your blood
is low, you will fly off the
		
00:22:30 --> 00:22:31
			handle much faster.
		
00:22:32 --> 00:22:35
			That's another challenge. Some
people have high blood pressure
		
00:22:35 --> 00:22:40
			that always keeps them on the edge
as opposed to low blood pressure.
		
00:22:40 --> 00:22:43
			If people know they have these
medical issues, then they should
		
00:22:43 --> 00:22:47
			look after themselves like this.
They should not go into a meeting
		
00:22:47 --> 00:22:48
			while they are hungry.
		
00:22:49 --> 00:22:52
			Like honestly, they should not go
into a meeting while they're
		
00:22:52 --> 00:22:58
			hungry, eat something and then go
become relaxed, because it's very
		
00:22:58 --> 00:22:59
			detrimental.
		
00:23:01 --> 00:23:05
			So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam
then said, well, beta and fee wasa
		
00:23:05 --> 00:23:08
			tiljander, lumen theorical Kathy
Bucha incarna mercy Han.
		
00:23:09 --> 00:23:14
			And I'm also giving guarantee for
a house in the middle of Jana for
		
00:23:14 --> 00:23:18
			the one who abandons lying, even
though he thinks he's just joking.
		
00:23:19 --> 00:23:24
			Lying is just an unfortunately, we
know when you argue with somebody,
		
00:23:25 --> 00:23:29
			when you get into the argument
than to win the argument. A lot of
		
00:23:29 --> 00:23:33
			people resort to lying very few
people continue to tell the truth
		
00:23:35 --> 00:23:39
			and keep the truth as it is when
they are arguing because what
		
00:23:39 --> 00:23:42
			happens is that the ego takes
over. Then after that it's not
		
00:23:42 --> 00:23:47
			about what is the truth. It's
about me winning this argument and
		
00:23:47 --> 00:23:51
			me being the truthful one, or
appearing to be the truthful one.
		
00:23:51 --> 00:23:55
			This is so different from somebody
like Imam Shafi Rahim Allah Allah
		
00:23:55 --> 00:24:00
			who said that whenever I have a
discourse with somebody, dispute
		
00:24:00 --> 00:24:03
			with somebody on some Masada and
generally his disputes would have
		
00:24:03 --> 00:24:04
			been on a
		
00:24:06 --> 00:24:11
			issue of fic, or something to do
with the Sharia. He said that my
		
00:24:11 --> 00:24:16
			dua while I'm arguing with him
would be that, oh, Allah allowed
		
00:24:16 --> 00:24:21
			the truth, to prevail on his
tongue. We want to reach the
		
00:24:21 --> 00:24:28
			truth. Now, I could be proving the
truth. And I win, but my objective
		
00:24:28 --> 00:24:32
			is not to win. It's to prove the
truth and establish the truth and
		
00:24:32 --> 00:24:36
			made that come on his tongue. So
he wins. But the main thing is
		
00:24:36 --> 00:24:39
			that the truth becomes clear
Subhanallah
		
00:24:41 --> 00:24:46
			on one occasion, he had a, there
was a difference of opinion he had
		
00:24:46 --> 00:24:51
			with one of his students and his
students, his tutor was a bit got
		
00:24:51 --> 00:24:55
			upset with it, about the discourse
or something about the about the
		
00:24:55 --> 00:24:59
			interaction, so he was missing. So
then the student says that
		
00:25:00 --> 00:25:03
			In the night, I hear a knock on my
door. I said Who is it? He says
		
00:25:03 --> 00:25:06
			Mohammed Idris Shafi.
		
00:25:07 --> 00:25:12
			He says, Look, we, it was his
teacher who came at nighttime to
		
00:25:12 --> 00:25:14
			say, look, we can have a
difference of opinion, but we can
		
00:25:14 --> 00:25:15
			still be brothers.
		
00:25:16 --> 00:25:19
			There are so many things that we
are still the same. And we can
		
00:25:19 --> 00:25:20
			agree upon.
		
00:25:22 --> 00:25:26
			That is what you call somebody
whose focus is the Hereafter. And
		
00:25:26 --> 00:25:29
			he's not going to get caught up in
petty debates, and then let it
		
00:25:29 --> 00:25:30
			become personal.
		
00:25:31 --> 00:25:34
			This is what the problem is that
when it gets personal, then the
		
00:25:34 --> 00:25:37
			Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam said, Well, based on fee,
		
00:25:38 --> 00:25:41
			lol, Jana, lemon Hassan Hola, hola
como.
		
00:25:42 --> 00:25:47
			And I give guarantee for a place
in the highest level of Jana, for
		
00:25:47 --> 00:25:51
			the one who develops good
character. Because he knows that
		
00:25:51 --> 00:25:54
			good character is going to be the
thing because the prophets Allah
		
00:25:54 --> 00:25:57
			lorrison knows that was, firstly,
with good character, he's going to
		
00:25:57 --> 00:26:01
			know in all of these situations
how to deal with it, a person with
		
00:26:01 --> 00:26:04
			good character is always going to
think good about people.
		
00:26:05 --> 00:26:10
			He's never going to always think
that something is evil or bad, or
		
00:26:10 --> 00:26:13
			take things negatively, he's going
to be positive, a good person with
		
00:26:13 --> 00:26:18
			good character is going to try to
avoid argument as far as possible,
		
00:26:18 --> 00:26:23
			he's going to have the quality of
patience, he's going to have the
		
00:26:23 --> 00:26:28
			quality of generosity, he's going
to have the quality of giving
		
00:26:28 --> 00:26:31
			somebody preference over oneself.
The Prophet sallallahu sallam
		
00:26:31 --> 00:26:34
			said, You cannot be a true
believer, until you love for your
		
00:26:34 --> 00:26:36
			brother, what you love for
yourself.
		
00:26:38 --> 00:26:41
			For that, if a person understands
that no son in an argument, then
		
00:26:41 --> 00:26:45
			look, it's okay. It doesn't
matter. If my if, as long as the
		
00:26:45 --> 00:26:48
			truth is established, my friend
can win the argument is not about
		
00:26:48 --> 00:26:51
			I'm not going to argue with them.
Let's find another way to do it.
		
00:26:51 --> 00:26:55
			Now, from a therapeutic
perspective, from people who
		
00:26:56 --> 00:27:00
			do therapy, based on psycho
analysis and other ways.
		
00:27:01 --> 00:27:06
			There is they've done a lot of
tests in this, you take two people
		
00:27:06 --> 00:27:09
			and the way they show, I don't
have a board here, but I could
		
00:27:09 --> 00:27:14
			have shown you that they show an
adult and a child, because this is
		
00:27:14 --> 00:27:18
			a typical, challenging
relationship. The child imagine
		
00:27:18 --> 00:27:20
			this child and is screaming,
		
00:27:21 --> 00:27:25
			for whatever reason the child is
screaming, a three year old child,
		
00:27:25 --> 00:27:27
			two to three year old child
screaming.
		
00:27:28 --> 00:27:32
			Now imagine the various different
responses that the parents that a
		
00:27:32 --> 00:27:35
			parent that adult will give to
that child,
		
00:27:36 --> 00:27:41
			one thing you can do is just
totally blocked that child out,
		
00:27:41 --> 00:27:45
			let him scream, and just turn the
other way, and ignore them
		
00:27:45 --> 00:27:51
			completely. This is what they did
in some orphanages in Romania, you
		
00:27:51 --> 00:27:54
			know, a few decades ago. And what
they discovered is that this is
		
00:27:54 --> 00:27:58
			very, very, very harmful. Because
all of those children, this is a
		
00:27:58 --> 00:28:02
			natural thing that children do to
scream, when they need something,
		
00:28:02 --> 00:28:06
			this is what they know, they need
a response. If you don't give them
		
00:28:06 --> 00:28:10
			a response, that insecurity will
increase. And when they grow up,
		
00:28:11 --> 00:28:14
			they will be always looking for
attachment, they will always be
		
00:28:14 --> 00:28:17
			looking for attention, because
their brain hasn't developed
		
00:28:17 --> 00:28:21
			properly in that regard. So it's
very detrimental for somebody just
		
00:28:21 --> 00:28:24
			to ignore someone all the time,
sometimes you do have to ignore.
		
00:28:25 --> 00:28:28
			But if you just have a policy of
ignoring, that doesn't work,
		
00:28:28 --> 00:28:31
			because this could be a problem.
You have to remember that
		
00:28:31 --> 00:28:34
			sometimes there's an issue,
there's a problem. It's not like,
		
00:28:34 --> 00:28:39
			it's always a non-problem that
somebody is causing just a fuss
		
00:28:39 --> 00:28:42
			for nothing. That's the first
response. The other response that
		
00:28:42 --> 00:28:44
			we do generally, is
		
00:28:46 --> 00:28:47
			you start screaming back.
		
00:28:49 --> 00:28:52
			What that does is that aggravates
the child even further, and they
		
00:28:52 --> 00:28:53
			start screaming back.
		
00:28:55 --> 00:28:59
			And then there's just nobody goes
anywhere. Think of that in an
		
00:28:59 --> 00:29:00
			adult, it's the same thing.
		
00:29:01 --> 00:29:04
			Somebody's very angry, you get
angry as well.
		
00:29:06 --> 00:29:09
			And they're just gonna get more
angry. And then you're not gonna
		
00:29:09 --> 00:29:10
			get anywhere with that.
		
00:29:12 --> 00:29:13
			The third response
		
00:29:14 --> 00:29:21
			is to what they call the
containing response. You absorb
		
00:29:21 --> 00:29:26
			what they're saying. you process
it, and you find another way to
		
00:29:26 --> 00:29:28
			defuse it. So for example, if you
think about child,
		
00:29:29 --> 00:29:33
			you see that the mother just
cannot deal with it because she's
		
00:29:33 --> 00:29:35
			just too frustrated. She's
shouting back and the child is
		
00:29:35 --> 00:29:40
			shouting back as well. Or the
teenager. They're just having a
		
00:29:40 --> 00:29:44
			shouting match now, now the
grandparent comes in, takes that
		
00:29:44 --> 00:29:46
			teenager child, gives them a hug,
		
00:29:47 --> 00:29:49
			calms them down first and said,
No, no, don't worry, I'll deal
		
00:29:49 --> 00:29:53
			with what is it? Yes, yes, yes,
she's wrong, whatever. It's just
		
00:29:53 --> 00:29:53
			contained it.
		
00:29:55 --> 00:29:59
			They say that in an argument
According to research, it shows
		
00:29:59 --> 00:30:00
			that if you're a
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:03
			in an argument with somebody,
somebody's frustrated with you and
		
00:30:03 --> 00:30:05
			you show frustration back,
nobody's going to win.
		
00:30:07 --> 00:30:11
			The only way you can win this is
to subvert it, subvert the
		
00:30:11 --> 00:30:16
			situation, go around the site to
deal with it. That's what you call
		
00:30:16 --> 00:30:19
			wisdom, to figure out how to deal
with these things.
		
00:30:21 --> 00:30:24
			How to deal with these things. And
basically, it's just another way
		
00:30:24 --> 00:30:25
			of good character.
		
00:30:26 --> 00:30:30
			Just another way of saying, This
is what character requires.
		
00:30:31 --> 00:30:35
			Why do people argue? Why do people
have differences? What are the
		
00:30:35 --> 00:30:38
			reasons and causes of why people
have differences?
		
00:30:41 --> 00:30:44
			First and foremost, there are I
think about three or four
		
00:30:44 --> 00:30:48
			different reasons while that
provide the foundation of why
		
00:30:48 --> 00:30:51
			somebody may like to
		
00:30:52 --> 00:30:53
			differ with somebody.
		
00:30:56 --> 00:31:00
			One of the first reasons is
incomplete or shallow knowledge.
		
00:31:01 --> 00:31:03
			You don't have enough knowledge of
the situation.
		
00:31:04 --> 00:31:07
			You think something is right, this
is especially pertinent to these
		
00:31:07 --> 00:31:14
			mosyle of mud hubs, different
practices, and the example that I
		
00:31:14 --> 00:31:17
			gave you, myself, right, the
example that I gave you, myself of
		
00:31:17 --> 00:31:22
			seeing the people doing tech beer,
and finding a very strange, I'll
		
00:31:22 --> 00:31:25
			give you another example.
Recently, I was in South Africa,
		
00:31:25 --> 00:31:29
			in Cape Town, for taraweeh. For
Ramadan,
		
00:31:30 --> 00:31:35
			and SubhanAllah. They love to sing
and do things. And
		
00:31:36 --> 00:31:39
			in the message that I've been
around, especially in London, and
		
00:31:39 --> 00:31:39
			in England,
		
00:31:41 --> 00:31:46
			between every four records, right,
after every four records in the
		
00:31:46 --> 00:31:49
			20, let's just say you have 20
records of taraweeh. After every
		
00:31:49 --> 00:31:52
			photocards, they have in some
messages, they have a DSB of
		
00:31:52 --> 00:31:56
			tarawih, where you just read it
silently. In some places, they
		
00:31:56 --> 00:31:59
			have nothing, everybody just reads
very signing something to read the
		
00:31:59 --> 00:32:00
			speed, they read something.
		
00:32:01 --> 00:32:06
			However, here, not only after
every four cards, but after every
		
00:32:06 --> 00:32:11
			two rockets, there was something
that somebody would read, the two
		
00:32:11 --> 00:32:14
			rockets would finish, and that
it'd be a specially appointed
		
00:32:14 --> 00:32:17
			person who would have another
microphone, different from the
		
00:32:17 --> 00:32:20
			Imam. And he I forget what he when
you read it, this be a Subhan
		
00:32:20 --> 00:32:24
			Allah who will hamdulillah
something. After four o'clock, it
		
00:32:24 --> 00:32:27
			was a different DSP. So there was
a different thicker that was
		
00:32:27 --> 00:32:31
			recited aloud. And then in some of
them, people will join in, and
		
00:32:31 --> 00:32:36
			everybody would read it. And for
me, that was very strange, because
		
00:32:36 --> 00:32:37
			I've never seen it before.
		
00:32:38 --> 00:32:43
			I've never seen it before. Now, as
a fakie. Ruling here.
		
00:32:47 --> 00:32:49
			A long time ago, I would have
said, this is a bit of brothers.
		
00:32:49 --> 00:32:52
			And you must stop this because
clearly the Sahaba did not do this
		
00:32:52 --> 00:32:54
			in their time, because it's not
established.
		
00:32:55 --> 00:32:56
			But
		
00:32:57 --> 00:33:00
			it's not, I wouldn't say it's
impermissible to do this either.
		
00:33:02 --> 00:33:06
			As long as you don't think it's an
obligation to do this, or as long
		
00:33:06 --> 00:33:10
			as you don't think that this is
necessary to do or Asuna to do,
		
00:33:11 --> 00:33:12
			then it's just the practice.
		
00:33:14 --> 00:33:19
			So while I may not join in with
it, I'm not going to cause too
		
00:33:19 --> 00:33:20
			much of a problem here.
		
00:33:22 --> 00:33:23
			I'm not going to cause too much of
a problem.
		
00:33:25 --> 00:33:29
			Another thing I noticed is that
being Shafi is they will do two
		
00:33:29 --> 00:33:33
			workouts of prayer, and then they
would have with them, and then
		
00:33:33 --> 00:33:35
			they would make Salam and then
they would do one record
		
00:33:35 --> 00:33:39
			separately, right, which is
allowed in the Shafi school in the
		
00:33:39 --> 00:33:43
			Maliki school, humbly school,
we're in the Hanafis. This is
		
00:33:44 --> 00:33:46
			disagreed upon this is
		
00:33:47 --> 00:33:52
			invalid, because we have a hadith,
which says that a single record is
		
00:33:52 --> 00:33:55
			an incomplete prayer. And they say
that when the Prophet said last
		
00:33:55 --> 00:33:58
			time used to do this, it means
that he used to just add an extra
		
00:33:58 --> 00:34:03
			card to his last hurrah cards at
nighttime and make it three, but
		
00:34:03 --> 00:34:05
			the others have understood it
differently, which is fine. It's a
		
00:34:05 --> 00:34:06
			very difference of opinion.
		
00:34:07 --> 00:34:12
			So I am there. Now I am the guest
scholar. And I have to deal with
		
00:34:12 --> 00:34:16
			this. So now the one of the Imams
very nice person. He said, Look, I
		
00:34:16 --> 00:34:18
			know that you're going to have an
issue with the winter, I can tell
		
00:34:18 --> 00:34:23
			them to change it. I can tell them
to do three records all together.
		
00:34:24 --> 00:34:27
			Now, the thing is that if they do
three records together, they do it
		
00:34:27 --> 00:34:30
			differently to the way the Hanafis
do three records together as well.
		
00:34:31 --> 00:34:35
			I said you know what? Leave it.
Don't confuse everybody. The
		
00:34:35 --> 00:34:37
			majority of people here
		
00:34:38 --> 00:34:43
			use two two and one separately.
Carry on. I'll deal with it my in
		
00:34:43 --> 00:34:47
			my own way. If I want I can repeat
my prayer afterwards. I can repeat
		
00:34:47 --> 00:34:50
			I'll join you and then I'll just
do my own afterwards if I want to.
		
00:34:50 --> 00:34:53
			But let's not upset the boat.
Let's not make a difference
		
00:34:53 --> 00:34:56
			because of one person you have to
change the whole thing. It's not
		
00:34:56 --> 00:34:56
			such a critical issue.
		
00:34:58 --> 00:35:00
			However, there was another issue
which was a bit
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:02
			more critical, which was that
		
00:35:03 --> 00:35:06
			although they had about five or
six half years of the Quran
		
00:35:06 --> 00:35:10
			minimum, there was still somebody
for some reason there were three
		
00:35:10 --> 00:35:14
			people leading hips leading the
tarawih three or four, leading the
		
00:35:14 --> 00:35:18
			tarawih. And there were at least
another two or three behind who
		
00:35:18 --> 00:35:23
			more than half is of the Quran.
But for some reason, because it's
		
00:35:23 --> 00:35:26
			allowed in the Shafi school, they
had one person with a Quran open
		
00:35:26 --> 00:35:28
			in his salad. That would correct
		
00:35:30 --> 00:35:34
			if the Imam made a mistake. Now
again,
		
00:35:35 --> 00:35:37
			there's a difference in the Hanafi
school and the Shafi school in
		
00:35:37 --> 00:35:43
			disregard in the Chavez is allowed
to read from something for
		
00:35:43 --> 00:35:48
			taraweeh read physically from
something while in the Hanafi
		
00:35:48 --> 00:35:52
			school is not allowed. It's like
you are then taking instruction
		
00:35:52 --> 00:35:55
			from something outside and it
breaks your prayer in the Hanafi
		
00:35:55 --> 00:35:57
			school if somebody behind me
		
00:35:58 --> 00:36:00
			is reading from the Quran
		
00:36:01 --> 00:36:04
			and then he corrects me and I take
that correction my salah will
		
00:36:04 --> 00:36:08
			break because I've taken it this
is a very technical kind of issue.
		
00:36:09 --> 00:36:13
			So I said to them, I said look, we
have about five or six half is of
		
00:36:13 --> 00:36:17
			the Quran here minimum. Why does
he need to do that? Because for
		
00:36:17 --> 00:36:20
			me, this is a bit of a problem.
And mashallah, they were very
		
00:36:20 --> 00:36:23
			accommodating. They said yes,
you're right. You know, it's
		
00:36:23 --> 00:36:27
			actually stronger for us to be
able to correct him I said, you
		
00:36:27 --> 00:36:29
			know, we will correct him if
there's a mistake, he doesn't need
		
00:36:29 --> 00:36:32
			the open the Quran we have five or
six profile of the Quran and
		
00:36:32 --> 00:36:35
			mashallah the miracle of the Quran
is that we all you know, mashallah
		
00:36:35 --> 00:36:39
			able to correct each other. So
alhamdulillah. So, now you can see
		
00:36:39 --> 00:36:44
			that we were we got on in that
sense. Otherwise, if you can't
		
00:36:44 --> 00:36:47
			celebrate differences, and I have
no problem with the fact that they
		
00:36:47 --> 00:36:51
			are Shafi is I'm not even going to
try to make them 100 feet, because
		
00:36:51 --> 00:36:55
			what they're doing is right,
according to their interpretation
		
00:36:55 --> 00:36:59
			of the same Quran and Sunnah that
I'm following, according to my
		
00:36:59 --> 00:36:59
			interpretation.
		
00:37:01 --> 00:37:04
			I'm not saying my way, I'm just
gonna say that my way is more
		
00:37:04 --> 00:37:07
			preferable to me and that's why I
follow it, but you're always
		
00:37:07 --> 00:37:08
			correct as well.
		
00:37:09 --> 00:37:13
			Because you are also doing what
Allah has told you to do what the
		
00:37:13 --> 00:37:16
			messenger SallAllahu Sallam has
told you to do, which is to follow
		
00:37:16 --> 00:37:20
			the right course of action in
determining what is the best
		
00:37:20 --> 00:37:24
			approach and what is the fatwa
what is the masala what is the
		
00:37:24 --> 00:37:27
			ruling in this particular case?
Yes, we've come to different
		
00:37:27 --> 00:37:30
			decisions but Alhamdulillah that's
part of the life and that's that's
		
00:37:30 --> 00:37:34
			not a problem. So shallow
knowledge is going to cause
		
00:37:34 --> 00:37:36
			problems you will see something
you think this is wrong. This is
		
00:37:36 --> 00:37:37
			haram brothers.
		
00:37:38 --> 00:37:44
			One day I mentioned online a dua
Allahumma Haley you are 30 is a
		
00:37:45 --> 00:37:48
			mini Istikhara prayer of Allah
choose for me and
		
00:37:49 --> 00:37:53
			select for me the best. Like if
you're if you need to do a quick
		
00:37:53 --> 00:37:57
			decision about something this is a
dua you read instead of the big
		
00:37:57 --> 00:37:58
			istikhara dua that we have.
		
00:37:59 --> 00:38:03
			So this was online, and this
hadith is related by Montero movie
		
00:38:04 --> 00:38:06
			and he says Hadith in a hurry Ibn
		
00:38:08 --> 00:38:10
			is Hadith von der ephone hurry von
		
00:38:12 --> 00:38:18
			der if and hurry it's weak and
it's hurry it means it's not well
		
00:38:18 --> 00:38:20
			known It's unusual.
		
00:38:22 --> 00:38:24
			Somebody on Twitter tells me
		
00:38:25 --> 00:38:29
			with gives a screen of that with a
big cross through it and say
		
00:38:30 --> 00:38:35
			fabricated I said this hadith is
not fabricate is not mold or
		
00:38:37 --> 00:38:41
			it's the Eve so he says what kind
of a move to you says Gary
		
00:38:42 --> 00:38:47
			rib doesn't mean a hurry unusual
obscure does not mean fabricated.
		
00:38:48 --> 00:38:51
			Imam Timothy is going to mention a
fabricated narration
		
00:38:52 --> 00:38:56
			and then lie and say it's not
fabric says sorry. But this is
		
00:38:56 --> 00:38:57
			shallow knowledge.
		
00:38:58 --> 00:39:01
			As long as something is not Sahai,
they just want to discredit
		
00:39:01 --> 00:39:01
			everything.
		
00:39:02 --> 00:39:07
			Again, this is a perspective. And
he's willing to argue about it. I
		
00:39:07 --> 00:39:09
			did not confront him with it. It's
just there. And lots of people
		
00:39:09 --> 00:39:12
			have liked it, but he wants to
reject it.
		
00:39:13 --> 00:39:18
			So this first point was incomplete
knowledge creates more room for
		
00:39:18 --> 00:39:22
			differences and creates a greater
problem and the possibility of
		
00:39:22 --> 00:39:24
			disputes. For example,
		
00:39:27 --> 00:39:32
			jumping to conclusions, not
listening properly, and then
		
00:39:32 --> 00:39:36
			arguing about what somebody said,
or just not knowing,
		
00:39:37 --> 00:39:41
			not having the requisite
qualifications or knowledge about
		
00:39:41 --> 00:39:44
			something. For example, somebody
said, the Prophet sallallahu
		
00:39:44 --> 00:39:48
			alayhi wa sallam said according to
a hadith which is weak. So the
		
00:39:48 --> 00:39:53
			person says, You are a liar. How
can the Prophet salallahu Alaihe
		
00:39:53 --> 00:39:54
			Salam say something that is weak?
		
00:39:56 --> 00:40:00
			The person said, a hadith and he
said this is a weak narration
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:03
			Now the person doesn't understand
what it means to be weak or strong
		
00:40:03 --> 00:40:05
			or whatever is La hawla wala coda,
you're saying that Professor
		
00:40:05 --> 00:40:06
			Lawson said a weak Hadith
		
00:40:08 --> 00:40:11
			Subhanallah you can tell the
ignorance there.
		
00:40:13 --> 00:40:13
			There's a foreigner.
		
00:40:14 --> 00:40:18
			I think he was from India. He came
to Arabia.
		
00:40:19 --> 00:40:24
			And he heard an Arab who had a
very bad voice singing.
		
00:40:25 --> 00:40:32
			It was a very Bedouin song sounded
very ugly to him. So he says, Oh,
		
00:40:32 --> 00:40:35
			now I understand why the Prophet
sallallahu Sallam forbade music
		
00:40:37 --> 00:40:39
			is because they have this kind of
music if they heard Indian music
		
00:40:39 --> 00:40:41
			that he would not have obeyed it.
		
00:40:46 --> 00:40:48
			I don't know what nigerian music
is like, but
		
00:40:52 --> 00:40:56
			that's number one, just pure
ignorance about things, looking at
		
00:40:56 --> 00:40:59
			things superficially, just how
they seem without going deeper and
		
00:40:59 --> 00:41:02
			without having the requisite
knowledge to understand these
		
00:41:02 --> 00:41:07
			things. Number two, following
desire, an ego issue, wanting to
		
00:41:07 --> 00:41:11
			be right, not wanting to drop in
the sight of others. So Allah
		
00:41:11 --> 00:41:17
			subhanho wa Taala says, For Atia,
Manitoba, the ILA who Hawa for
		
00:41:17 --> 00:41:20
			Atia, Manitoba, Illa, who Hawa?
		
00:41:21 --> 00:41:23
			What adult Allahu Allahu Allah
Illman
		
00:41:24 --> 00:41:27
			Mahatama Allah semi he will be,
		
00:41:28 --> 00:41:30
			which either either Abbasali he is
a shower,
		
00:41:31 --> 00:41:37
			have you seen the one who has
taken his Lord, as his desires,
		
00:41:38 --> 00:41:41
			he worships his own desire that
they must come first in
		
00:41:41 --> 00:41:47
			everything. And Allah has Miss has
allowed him to stray
		
00:41:48 --> 00:41:49
			from knowledge.
		
00:41:51 --> 00:41:57
			And Allah has placed a seal over
his ears, and his heart. So though
		
00:41:57 --> 00:42:00
			he's listening, he can't listen to
the truth, he can't hear it.
		
00:42:00 --> 00:42:02
			You're seeing but you can't see
the truth.
		
00:42:03 --> 00:42:06
			And Allah has placed the veil over
his sight.
		
00:42:10 --> 00:42:14
			A lot of the time, daughter in law
mother in law issue is from this
		
00:42:14 --> 00:42:17
			side, it becomes an ego issue of
		
00:42:18 --> 00:42:21
			it's going to be my rule in the
house.
		
00:42:22 --> 00:42:26
			When they feel threatened by the
daughter in law, for example, it's
		
00:42:26 --> 00:42:30
			to do with Caprice, they don't
want to give a chance. They don't
		
00:42:30 --> 00:42:33
			want to say, Look, I need to calm
down.
		
00:42:34 --> 00:42:39
			A lot of marital problems are like
this, each side wants to be right.
		
00:42:40 --> 00:42:45
			And they think that if they say
sorry, then every time they will
		
00:42:45 --> 00:42:46
			have to say sorry.
		
00:42:47 --> 00:42:50
			It will make them feel that I am
low, and now in the sight of the
		
00:42:50 --> 00:42:53
			other person because I said sorry,
I'm the weaker one. And that's not
		
00:42:53 --> 00:42:54
			true.
		
00:42:55 --> 00:42:58
			And then it becomes a spiral. And
no side is ready to say sorry,
		
00:42:58 --> 00:43:03
			then it's all bad character. One
has to understand that the more
		
00:43:03 --> 00:43:07
			you argue with someone, the more
as I mentioned, according to the
		
00:43:07 --> 00:43:12
			studies, nobody's going to win,
hearts are going to become harder.
		
00:43:13 --> 00:43:18
			And the problem with arguments is
that the shaytan then takes
		
00:43:18 --> 00:43:22
			advantage of the situation. I was
an imam in one place. And
		
00:43:22 --> 00:43:26
			sometimes and we had 100 people
that would come for Joomla,
		
00:43:26 --> 00:43:29
			approximately, we knew everybody.
So if somebody didn't come, we
		
00:43:29 --> 00:43:31
			would know. And if there was a new
person we would know.
		
00:43:32 --> 00:43:33
			So what happens is,
		
00:43:35 --> 00:43:38
			sometimes there's two individuals
who are missing. So then I see
		
00:43:38 --> 00:43:41
			them later somewhere and I say,
Brother, how come you didn't come?
		
00:43:41 --> 00:43:42
			He said
		
00:43:43 --> 00:43:46
			he makes an excuse versus and No,
tell me what's the problem? He
		
00:43:46 --> 00:43:49
			said, I've got a bit of an
argument with so and so.
		
00:43:50 --> 00:43:53
			And I don't want to see him in the
masjid because I get very angry
		
00:43:53 --> 00:43:57
			and I might do something so I
didn't come. I said La hawla wala
		
00:43:57 --> 00:44:00
			Quwata illa biLlah? Neither did
you come and neither did he come.
		
00:44:01 --> 00:44:05
			He had the same reason for not
coming. Who wins, the shaytaan
		
00:44:05 --> 00:44:06
			wins.
		
00:44:07 --> 00:44:09
			Each person thinks the other
person is going to come to the
		
00:44:09 --> 00:44:15
			masjid. So they don't come and who
loses out themselves. And this is
		
00:44:15 --> 00:44:18
			what you call this kind of
arrogance. That's why have you
		
00:44:18 --> 00:44:23
			noticed in Sharia, they tell us
the Prophet sallallahu sallam said
		
00:44:23 --> 00:44:27
			that if you have a breakup with
somebody, what is the maximum
		
00:44:27 --> 00:44:32
			number of days you can break up
for three days after that no way.
		
00:44:33 --> 00:44:34
			This is only to do with
		
00:44:35 --> 00:44:40
			non family members with family
members is not even allowed for
		
00:44:40 --> 00:44:40
			one day.
		
00:44:41 --> 00:44:48
			This is for nuns, non kin, non
blood relatives with family is not
		
00:44:48 --> 00:44:49
			even allowed for three days
because your
		
00:44:50 --> 00:44:55
			three days is even too much psych
psychology behind it is that if I
		
00:44:55 --> 00:44:56
			break up with somebody
		
00:44:58 --> 00:44:59
			I and who's been a good
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:04
			The close relationship I've had
with them. Think about this, you
		
00:45:04 --> 00:45:08
			break up with somebody. Now you do
feel bad. You do feel a bit
		
00:45:08 --> 00:45:13
			guilty, you feel remorseful. But
you the our ego doesn't allow us
		
00:45:13 --> 00:45:16
			to go and say sorry or say the
first Salam, even the Prophet
		
00:45:16 --> 00:45:19
			sallallahu sallam said the one who
says the first Salam is the one
		
00:45:19 --> 00:45:19
			free of prey.
		
00:45:20 --> 00:45:23
			We're waiting for the other
person, he's waiting for us.
		
00:45:25 --> 00:45:28
			Husband and wife, same thing.
They're waiting for each other.
		
00:45:29 --> 00:45:30
			Now what happens is,
		
00:45:32 --> 00:45:35
			we're waiting for hours and hours
and hours, we don't get an email,
		
00:45:35 --> 00:45:38
			we don't get a text, we don't get
a phone call, or we sometimes see
		
00:45:38 --> 00:45:40
			one another. And we just go the
other way kind of looking
		
00:45:40 --> 00:45:42
			hopefully will say something,
nobody said anything.
		
00:45:44 --> 00:45:45
			The second day,
		
00:45:46 --> 00:45:48
			it becomes a bit easier to deal
with this.
		
00:45:49 --> 00:45:50
			You get used to it.
		
00:45:52 --> 00:45:56
			The third day you get even more
used to it. And if you carry on,
		
00:45:56 --> 00:45:59
			then you will make a new friend,
he will make a new friend and then
		
00:45:59 --> 00:46:04
			you will not have any incentive to
try to make it up again. You get
		
00:46:04 --> 00:46:08
			used to being separate, three days
is maximum.
		
00:46:09 --> 00:46:13
			In that time, you need to get
together otherwise, is going to
		
00:46:13 --> 00:46:16
			get more difficult as you get
along because the wall gets higher
		
00:46:16 --> 00:46:19
			and higher and bigger and bigger.
That's the problem.
		
00:46:22 --> 00:46:25
			There's a hadith another Hadith of
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi
		
00:46:25 --> 00:46:30
			salam, which is about the sign of
the Day of Judgment. This hadith
		
00:46:30 --> 00:46:33
			is also related by Imam Timothy
Inomata, and many others. The
		
00:46:33 --> 00:46:38
			Prophet sallallahu sallam said,
When you see Shahan matar, and
		
00:46:38 --> 00:46:40
			it's a long Hadith, we don't have
time to go into every single
		
00:46:40 --> 00:46:46
			aspect of this hadith. And I don't
think it's fully manifested yet
		
00:46:46 --> 00:46:48
			though we have some signs of it.
Probably someone said that when
		
00:46:48 --> 00:46:54
			you see avise, avarice and greed
being followed people just after
		
00:46:54 --> 00:47:00
			their own greed, well, how and
motivation, which means the
		
00:47:00 --> 00:47:05
			desires fully followed were Jabu
Cooley, the Iranian Bureau each
		
00:47:06 --> 00:47:07
			and every person
		
00:47:09 --> 00:47:12
			who thinks he can hold an opinion
		
00:47:13 --> 00:47:17
			is conceited about his opinion,
he's stubborn about his opinion.
		
00:47:18 --> 00:47:22
			When you see these things, follow
him by file some basic, then stay
		
00:47:22 --> 00:47:28
			in your house, stay in your house,
keep your tongue in control.
		
00:47:29 --> 00:47:30
			And
		
00:47:32 --> 00:47:35
			leave anything that is unusual and
you're not familiar with and only
		
00:47:35 --> 00:47:41
			do that which you're familiar
with. And now it's only focus on
		
00:47:41 --> 00:47:47
			yourself and leave everybody else.
But in sha Allah, that situation
		
00:47:47 --> 00:47:51
			is not fully here yet. But we see
some signs of it. In fact, today,
		
00:47:51 --> 00:47:56
			though, the problem is that it's
not every person who has the right
		
00:47:56 --> 00:48:00
			to hold the view, who is stubborn
about his view. But it is actually
		
00:48:00 --> 00:48:03
			people who don't even have
qualification, will have no right
		
00:48:03 --> 00:48:06
			to have a view about a particular
aspect.
		
00:48:07 --> 00:48:09
			That they are stubborn about their
opinion.
		
00:48:11 --> 00:48:16
			majority of Muslims are nominal
Muslims with no depth of
		
00:48:16 --> 00:48:21
			knowledge. They just have a
working knowledge of the Islam.
		
00:48:21 --> 00:48:25
			The only knowledge they have is
what they assimilated from their
		
00:48:25 --> 00:48:28
			parents growing up and their
family that this is what it means
		
00:48:28 --> 00:48:30
			to be Muslim, a lot of it which is
culture.
		
00:48:31 --> 00:48:35
			And if they went to a madrasa or
mocked up a teacher to learn from
		
00:48:35 --> 00:48:42
			whatever they assimilated then as
young boys and girls with the
		
00:48:42 --> 00:48:47
			child mind after they grew up,
they haven't taken any course on
		
00:48:47 --> 00:48:51
			deceit, or Hadith, or fake or
aqidah.
		
00:48:52 --> 00:48:55
			It's just whatever they know from
a young age that's carrying them
		
00:48:55 --> 00:48:58
			along and anything they may hear
on a Friday, chutzpah.
		
00:48:59 --> 00:49:04
			Friday, Beyonds and hot baths are
generalizations they don't get
		
00:49:04 --> 00:49:05
			into depth about things.
		
00:49:06 --> 00:49:08
			We need Muslims today that have
depth.
		
00:49:10 --> 00:49:13
			We need more Muslims of depth
who've studied a book on Aqeedah
		
00:49:14 --> 00:49:19
			maturely, not as a child but
maturely afterwards, who studied
		
00:49:19 --> 00:49:24
			in depth See, so they understand
that Sharia opens up for them they
		
00:49:24 --> 00:49:30
			understand wow this is intricate.
Not just I went to one person and
		
00:49:30 --> 00:49:34
			we were talking about the MADI I
believe the Jalan things he said
		
00:49:34 --> 00:49:38
			this is a shopkeeper was in a shop
said there is no Hadith about this
		
00:49:38 --> 00:49:41
			is not established. He must have
heard it from somewhere. He has
		
00:49:41 --> 00:49:43
			not done any research because if
you did research and find the
		
00:49:43 --> 00:49:47
			Hadith he clearly heard it from
somewhere online. I don't know
		
00:49:47 --> 00:49:51
			where and decided yes, this sounds
a radical idea. And I'm going to
		
00:49:51 --> 00:49:52
			say this when I see somebody
		
00:49:54 --> 00:49:59
			this is we are missing and lacking
depth. We have no depth to our I
		
00:49:59 --> 00:49:59
			mean
		
00:50:00 --> 00:50:03
			Can you imagine if you had a bunch
of doctors, no experts, no
		
00:50:03 --> 00:50:07
			specialist, they were just nominal
doctors. And there was a
		
00:50:07 --> 00:50:09
			complicated issue who's going to
deal with the organ to just give
		
00:50:09 --> 00:50:11
			their own opinion, and then kill
the guy?
		
00:50:13 --> 00:50:17
			Right? If you have depth, then
they'll understand that no, this
		
00:50:17 --> 00:50:19
			is a specific issue, we need to be
careful about this.
		
00:50:21 --> 00:50:25
			So those are two of the reasons of
why there's differences of
		
00:50:25 --> 00:50:30
			opinion. And the last, not the
last, absolute last but the third
		
00:50:30 --> 00:50:36
			opinion, the third reason for why
people differ, and like to dispute
		
00:50:36 --> 00:50:41
			is following custom and tradition,
over real knowledge and substance.
		
00:50:42 --> 00:50:48
			And similar example, similar
example, that in your custom,
		
00:50:48 --> 00:50:51
			people do certain things. But
		
00:50:53 --> 00:50:56
			the reality is, that should be
something else because Islam tells
		
00:50:56 --> 00:50:58
			you do it something else, but
we're used to the custom.
		
00:50:59 --> 00:51:00
			For example,
		
00:51:01 --> 00:51:06
			some parents forcing their
children to marry their cousins
		
00:51:06 --> 00:51:07
			out of custom.
		
00:51:09 --> 00:51:12
			And the child knows they can't get
along with that child, they're
		
00:51:12 --> 00:51:15
			gonna get away with their cousin,
and they're gonna have a miserable
		
00:51:15 --> 00:51:16
			life. That doesn't matter.
		
00:51:18 --> 00:51:21
			The custom, what am I going to
say? How am I going to show my
		
00:51:21 --> 00:51:22
			face to people?
		
00:51:23 --> 00:51:28
			That's what you call that problem.
Allah subhanaw taala says in the
		
00:51:28 --> 00:51:30
			Quran Corlew in Wajid
		
00:51:31 --> 00:51:37
			either uma we're in either 30
methadone. We found they This was
		
00:51:37 --> 00:51:41
			their response. We found our
parents ancestors doing a certain
		
00:51:41 --> 00:51:45
			thing and we're just following
them. That's what you call blind
		
00:51:45 --> 00:51:50
			following of culture. Allah says
lo Cana Abba, hula, no one Oh,
		
00:51:50 --> 00:51:53
			cannot about Leia, Luna che and
what I had to do, even though
		
00:51:53 --> 00:51:58
			their fathers their their
forefathers, had no intelligence
		
00:51:58 --> 00:52:01
			about it, no understanding of
anything, and they were not guided
		
00:52:02 --> 00:52:05
			in one places. I want to come
back.
		
00:52:06 --> 00:52:11
			Tomorrow the burqa accom accom
Kalu in Bhima, or system mihika
		
00:52:11 --> 00:52:15
			freuen. It was just stubbornness.
Because he said, if we were to
		
00:52:15 --> 00:52:20
			bring to you if I was to bring to
you something more guided, more
		
00:52:20 --> 00:52:24
			right, than what you found your
forefathers doing. Would you then
		
00:52:24 --> 00:52:28
			follow? They said, No, we just
disbelieve in what you have been
		
00:52:28 --> 00:52:32
			sent with just obstinance and
stubborn on just following their
		
00:52:32 --> 00:52:34
			culture. And this is what the
problem is.
		
00:52:35 --> 00:52:38
			Now, let me give you a final
		
00:52:40 --> 00:52:43
			final point, though, there's a
number of other reasons why
		
00:52:43 --> 00:52:45
			there's many, many reasons why
people differ.
		
00:52:47 --> 00:52:51
			We need to avoid suspicion, we
need to avoid being negative. We
		
00:52:51 --> 00:52:54
			need to try to have a positive
outlook. And when somebody says
		
00:52:54 --> 00:52:58
			something, try to place it in the
best way. There's one story that I
		
00:52:58 --> 00:53:02
			will relate to you. I had a friend
who was an imam in a particular
		
00:53:02 --> 00:53:06
			area in South Africa. And in that
community, they had both hand fees
		
00:53:06 --> 00:53:10
			and share fees. When Ramadan would
come, everybody would be very
		
00:53:10 --> 00:53:14
			happy. They would have that 20
rockets of Tarawih prayer. And
		
00:53:14 --> 00:53:19
			then the Hanafis would do three
records of winter together with
		
00:53:19 --> 00:53:23
			one Imam with their Imam. And in
another place the Shafi is we do
		
00:53:23 --> 00:53:26
			two and one record with another
Imam. And everybody was happy.
		
00:53:26 --> 00:53:30
			This is going on for many, many
years. And everybody was satisfied
		
00:53:30 --> 00:53:33
			the hearts were together. Though
if anybody came, he would look at
		
00:53:33 --> 00:53:36
			this as disunity out of disunity,
but the hearts were very
		
00:53:36 --> 00:53:40
			connected. They received the new
Imam and this Imam thought that
		
00:53:40 --> 00:53:41
			this is a fitna
		
00:53:42 --> 00:53:44
			see what is fitna exactly
		
00:53:46 --> 00:53:51
			fitna is an destabilizing a stable
situation. He said this is fitna.
		
00:53:53 --> 00:53:57
			He tried to bring them together.
Okay, he's the Imam so they listen
		
00:53:57 --> 00:54:02
			to him. But one day they would do
it Hanafy the other day Shafi but
		
00:54:02 --> 00:54:03
			the other side was always unhappy
		
00:54:04 --> 00:54:07
			because they're not able to do it
their way that they used to.
		
00:54:09 --> 00:54:10
			Now look at this
		
00:54:11 --> 00:54:15
			out wordly they are now uniting
but the hearts became disunited
		
00:54:17 --> 00:54:21
			and yet internally the other on
the other hand, they were united
		
00:54:22 --> 00:54:27
			what really matters most having
open hearts for example we know in
		
00:54:27 --> 00:54:29
			England there are people who are
going to do Ramadan and Eid on a
		
00:54:29 --> 00:54:32
			different day just get over it
		
00:54:33 --> 00:54:33
			right
		
00:54:34 --> 00:54:37
			mashallah Eid Mubarak to you
Ramadan Mubarak to you as well.
		
00:54:38 --> 00:54:41
			Right? Of course, we're going to
try to bring people together where
		
00:54:41 --> 00:54:44
			we can. But when you know that
this is just going to cause bigger
		
00:54:44 --> 00:54:49
			fitna. Why spend the first four
days five days of Ramadan? Arguing
		
00:54:49 --> 00:54:52
			about this case and spoiling the
first four or five days of Ramadan
		
00:54:53 --> 00:54:55
			or spoiling the end. What's the
point?
		
00:54:57 --> 00:54:59
			Understand this is there just
understand there are certain
		
00:54:59 --> 00:55:00
			things that are
		
00:55:00 --> 00:55:05
			There, look when something is
haram, then we need to be much
		
00:55:05 --> 00:55:08
			stronger. You can't be lacks
everywhere, but where things are
		
00:55:08 --> 00:55:13
			have to be allowed and difference
of opinion and things that are
		
00:55:13 --> 00:55:17
			beyond us, then we need to be much
more tolerant in that regard. May
		
00:55:17 --> 00:55:19
			Allah subhana wa Tada
		
00:55:20 --> 00:55:24
			May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant
us wisdom and understanding and
		
00:55:24 --> 00:55:28
			depth of knowledge. And may Allah
bring us together in the way that
		
00:55:28 --> 00:55:31
			he wants us to be together working
with that one and Al hamdu Lillahi
		
00:55:31 --> 00:55:32
			Rabbil aalameen.
		
00:55:34 --> 00:55:38
			The first question is how to deal
with the people who call
		
00:55:38 --> 00:55:40
			themselves or handle Hadith or
selfies.
		
00:55:41 --> 00:55:48
			The thing, the problem with this
approach is not all of them. It's
		
00:55:48 --> 00:55:53
			those who have this opinion that
we are right and everybody else is
		
00:55:53 --> 00:55:57
			wrong. And they think it's their
mission to correct everybody, even
		
00:55:57 --> 00:56:00
			if that means it's their father or
their,
		
00:56:01 --> 00:56:05
			their uncle, or even maybe a
teacher that they studied with
		
00:56:05 --> 00:56:09
			when they were young. They just
think everybody's wrong. It's my
		
00:56:09 --> 00:56:11
			way or the highway. This is a big
problem.
		
00:56:12 --> 00:56:17
			Slowly, slowly, these people are
coming around when they see that
		
00:56:17 --> 00:56:20
			their approach is causing a
massive problem. And we've got a
		
00:56:20 --> 00:56:24
			big problem from outside of Islam,
and we need to be more unified.
		
00:56:26 --> 00:56:31
			Unfortunately, this approach, the
extreme end of this approach leads
		
00:56:31 --> 00:56:35
			to things like ISIS, because they
all come from that background.
		
00:56:36 --> 00:56:42
			Much of ISIS is actually the
opinions and the drive comes from
		
00:56:42 --> 00:56:43
			the books of ignore Abdul Wahab.
		
00:56:44 --> 00:56:47
			And this is actually one of the
Saudi scholars who speaks about
		
00:56:47 --> 00:56:51
			this. His name is he's a Saudi
originally a Salafi Saudi
		
00:56:51 --> 00:56:58
			scholarship, Hattie Milani. And
he's been on Saudi TV as well
		
00:56:58 --> 00:57:02
			trying to tell people this that we
have a very extreme approach to
		
00:57:02 --> 00:57:06
			things and it, though, it doesn't
directly cause ISIS like
		
00:57:06 --> 00:57:10
			tendencies, but it does provide a
foundation for these kinds of
		
00:57:10 --> 00:57:15
			problems. I did a talk a while
back, it's called the fifth month
		
00:57:15 --> 00:57:15
			hub,
		
00:57:16 --> 00:57:19
			the fifth month hub, it's on
YouTube, it's on zum zum
		
00:57:19 --> 00:57:25
			academy.com. And I would suggest
that you for a lot of these
		
00:57:25 --> 00:57:30
			questions, that talk will give you
a good understanding, essentially
		
00:57:30 --> 00:57:37
			what it is. My conclusion of this
is that the Salafi perspective is
		
00:57:37 --> 00:57:41
			just the fifth opinion. They don't
want to follow Abu Hanifa Malik
		
00:57:41 --> 00:57:45
			Shafi Ahmed Mohammed Rahim Allah,
but they want to just follow
		
00:57:46 --> 00:57:47
			Abdulaziz bin buzz,
		
00:57:48 --> 00:57:52
			Sheikh Saleh, thymine, immuno
Tamia.
		
00:57:54 --> 00:57:58
			Al Bonnie, they've just replaced
these people, they don't think for
		
00:57:58 --> 00:57:58
			themselves.
		
00:57:59 --> 00:58:03
			Because my question to them is
that if I tomorrow, say that,
		
00:58:03 --> 00:58:05
			okay, I'm not going to take any of
the mother hip either.
		
00:58:07 --> 00:58:09
			And I'm going to take Hadith and
Quran directly.
		
00:58:11 --> 00:58:14
			Right? I'm going to take Hadith
and Quran directly.
		
00:58:15 --> 00:58:20
			But I reach different conclusions
and take different Hadith to them.
		
00:58:21 --> 00:58:25
			Though I'm following Hadith, and
not a mother, that still disagree
		
00:58:25 --> 00:58:30
			with me. So they want me to follow
what they follow. And what they
		
00:58:30 --> 00:58:33
			follow is just the fifth mother, a
new mother.
		
00:58:34 --> 00:58:39
			Why should I trade in my classical
method that scene 1300 years
		
00:58:41 --> 00:58:45
			from the Centers of Islam, like
Kufa, and the medic is from Madina
		
00:58:45 --> 00:58:48
			Munawwara, city of the province of
lorrison. Why should we trade that
		
00:58:48 --> 00:58:49
			in for something new.
		
00:58:51 --> 00:58:54
			So that essentially is the
technical reason
		
00:58:55 --> 00:59:00
			for this background, so it
requires a lot more detail. But if
		
00:59:00 --> 00:59:04
			you watch this lecture called the
fifth month, it will give you
		
00:59:04 --> 00:59:09
			inshallah good understanding how
to deal with people who hold very
		
00:59:09 --> 00:59:10
			rigid opinions.
		
00:59:12 --> 00:59:16
			That's a very difficult question
to answer because it depends on
		
00:59:16 --> 00:59:19
			how it's affecting you. If there's
a person with a very rigid
		
00:59:19 --> 00:59:22
			opinion, and personally, my
approach to such people is to just
		
00:59:24 --> 00:59:27
			not engage, because it's a waste
of time.
		
00:59:28 --> 00:59:32
			It's do something else that's
useful. Use your energy behind
		
00:59:32 --> 00:59:36
			somebody else. This is as long as
you can avoid the situation. But
		
00:59:36 --> 00:59:40
			if it's somebody that you have to
live with, then you're going to
		
00:59:40 --> 00:59:44
			have to come to some agreement,
whether that agreement is meet
		
00:59:44 --> 00:59:48
			halfway, but if they're very
rigid, then most likely you're
		
00:59:48 --> 00:59:52
			probably going to have to agree to
disagree. And hopefully, that
		
00:59:52 --> 00:59:56
			works. But it's such an open ended
question that is very difficult to
		
00:59:56 --> 00:59:59
			give you a very particular answer
to because there are so many very
		
01:00:00 --> 01:00:03
			variables, and a particular
situation, there are so many
		
01:00:03 --> 01:00:05
			different things that could happen
in that situation.
		
01:00:09 --> 01:00:13
			What is the line between minor and
major issue of what you should
		
01:00:13 --> 01:00:17
			ignore and what you should engage
in? The way I look at it is that
		
01:00:17 --> 01:00:21
			the first thing when you see a
difference, and you feel something
		
01:00:21 --> 01:00:26
			towards it, is not to jump to
conclusions straightaway. As I
		
01:00:26 --> 01:00:31
			said, I've made mistakes of
thinking that something should be
		
01:00:31 --> 01:00:34
			like this, or some and then I've
gone back and I've seen I've seen
		
01:00:34 --> 01:00:37
			that actually, oh, this is another
opinion. It's a valid opinion.
		
01:00:38 --> 01:00:40
			Because a lot of the time, it
could just be based on ignorance,
		
01:00:40 --> 01:00:44
			because we're so used to one way.
So I would go and consult a
		
01:00:44 --> 01:00:48
			scholar, good scholar about this,
this issue is, and then once I
		
01:00:48 --> 01:00:52
			figured out that, no, this is a
big issue. This is I mean, some
		
01:00:52 --> 01:00:56
			things are big issues, clear
haram, you know, this clear
		
01:00:56 --> 01:01:00
			problem, then in that case, you
just have to have the wisest
		
01:01:00 --> 01:01:02
			approach to try to see how you can
change that.
		
01:01:03 --> 01:01:06
			You know, just saying, brothers,
this is wrong. And you shouldn't
		
01:01:06 --> 01:01:10
			do this and all that, that
sometimes doesn't help find, see
		
01:01:10 --> 01:01:13
			which way you can go to try to
benefit the situation.
		
01:01:14 --> 01:01:18
			Because we want not to just say
it's wrong, but we want to try to
		
01:01:19 --> 01:01:23
			explain to them why it's wrong.
And hopefully make them change.
		
01:01:24 --> 01:01:27
			That requires obviously patience,
wisdom, thought, maybe even asking
		
01:01:27 --> 01:01:30
			somebody else, how do you think I
should tackle this issue?
		
01:01:31 --> 01:01:35
			That hamburger Mala. So that's
what I would suggest. In that
		
01:01:35 --> 01:01:40
			case, it's a small minor issue,
but the person is your friend. And
		
01:01:40 --> 01:01:43
			of course, we need to keep the
door of Mr. Bill Maher over here
		
01:01:43 --> 01:01:44
			and LaMancha open.
		
01:01:46 --> 01:01:51
			To avoid any kind of, you know, we
shouldn't become so soft, that we
		
01:01:51 --> 01:01:56
			want to avoid any kind of
confrontation that we don't say
		
01:01:56 --> 01:02:00
			anything at all, then the shaytaan
wins, because the shaytaan thinks,
		
01:02:00 --> 01:02:06
			and shaytan says that he wants
everybody to be the same, so that
		
01:02:06 --> 01:02:11
			nobody tells anybody anything. So
he can guide everybody. So I'm
		
01:02:11 --> 01:02:13
			gonna build my roof, and the
Hanuman car has to be left open.
		
01:02:14 --> 01:02:17
			But it's just how you do that you
don't want to mess up the
		
01:02:17 --> 01:02:22
			situation further. You want to try
to get it better. So like Imam
		
01:02:22 --> 01:02:27
			Ghazali, remember God Rahmatullahi
it. They they say that
		
01:02:28 --> 01:02:34
			you're not obliged to do I'm going
to be modifying the human car, in
		
01:02:34 --> 01:02:38
			a case where it's just not going
to work. In fact, sometimes it's
		
01:02:38 --> 01:02:41
			wrong for you to do it when it's
going to cause a bigger problem,
		
01:02:41 --> 01:02:44
			maybe lead the person to Cofer or
make even more sense. So it just
		
01:02:44 --> 01:02:49
			depends. You have to gauge the
situation, how helpful am I going
		
01:02:49 --> 01:02:54
			to make this? What is the best way
to tell somebody something, in
		
01:02:54 --> 01:02:56
			fact, what some other must say,
because you know, there was a
		
01:02:56 --> 01:02:58
			hadith that was quoted, which is
that the Prophet sallallahu sallam
		
01:02:58 --> 01:03:02
			said that when you see a wrong,
you should change it with your
		
01:03:02 --> 01:03:06
			hands physically, than with your
tongue. And then at least think
		
01:03:06 --> 01:03:09
			about it. That depends on your
level in the community and your
		
01:03:09 --> 01:03:12
			level of power and influence in
that particular situation.
		
01:03:13 --> 01:03:18
			If you're an Imam, you're an
influential person, a leader, or a
		
01:03:18 --> 01:03:21
			knowledgeable person that people
will respect. And you know, they
		
01:03:21 --> 01:03:24
			respect you then for you, you have
to change it with your hands.
		
01:03:25 --> 01:03:27
			But if that's going to cause a
bigger problem,
		
01:03:28 --> 01:03:30
			then you do it with your tongue.
		
01:03:32 --> 01:03:34
			If that's going to cause too much
problem, and it's just not worth
		
01:03:34 --> 01:03:38
			it, then you have to keep thinking
bad about it.
		
01:03:39 --> 01:03:41
			You must never not think bad.
		
01:03:42 --> 01:03:45
			For example, I'll give you an
example. Sometimes, people are
		
01:03:45 --> 01:03:46
			watching a movie.
		
01:03:47 --> 01:03:50
			And there's a haram scene that's
going to take place like this man,
		
01:03:50 --> 01:03:52
			most movies will have a romance.
		
01:03:54 --> 01:04:00
			And they're not married. They're
actors. So we get so engrossed in
		
01:04:00 --> 01:04:04
			the soap operas and things, that
we start cheering them along, like
		
01:04:04 --> 01:04:04
			Yeah,
		
01:04:06 --> 01:04:08
			that's actually wrong. Do you
understand? Because we're not even
		
01:04:08 --> 01:04:11
			thinking is bad. We can't change
that. It's a movie, we're not
		
01:04:11 --> 01:04:15
			going to change that. But we
should at least think bad. But
		
01:04:15 --> 01:04:17
			sometimes we get so used to these
things that we don't even think
		
01:04:17 --> 01:04:18
			bad anymore.
		
01:04:19 --> 01:04:23
			They become normal. And that's
really sad because that's when the
		
01:04:23 --> 01:04:27
			Imam disappears from the heart.
Because if you don't even think
		
01:04:27 --> 01:04:34
			something is bad. Then there's the
Imaan is size of a mustard seed.
		
01:04:34 --> 01:04:38
			As a professor Larson said, Some
animals say that physically
		
01:04:38 --> 01:04:44
			changing people, this is the job
of the the rulers because they
		
01:04:44 --> 01:04:45
			have that ability.
		
01:04:46 --> 01:04:52
			Verbally telling people this is
the position of scholars, imams
		
01:04:52 --> 01:04:54
			leaders, because they have that
position.
		
01:04:55 --> 01:04:56
			And for
		
01:04:57 --> 01:05:00
			the other people, if they have no
position
		
01:05:00 --> 01:05:02
			Since they can't do anything, then
at least they must think bad.
		
01:05:03 --> 01:05:06
			So this is depends on the
situation, but this is the general
		
01:05:06 --> 01:05:08
			guidelines towards that.
		
01:05:09 --> 01:05:13
			cultural things marry things.
Again, I have another talk on
		
01:05:13 --> 01:05:15
			that. Because again, this is a bit
of a complicate I will give you a
		
01:05:15 --> 01:05:20
			short answer. But for maybe you
can tell your friend this. We have
		
01:05:21 --> 01:05:26
			a series on marriage, love, and
fairytales
		
01:05:27 --> 01:05:32
			marriage, love and fairy tales. I
did this in some university. And
		
01:05:32 --> 01:05:36
			it's about how you deal with these
forced marriages Do we have one on
		
01:05:36 --> 01:05:39
			forcement, I think we have one on
forced marriages as well. If you
		
01:05:39 --> 01:05:41
			go to zum zum, I kind of got one
on forced marriages, because this
		
01:05:41 --> 01:05:45
			is the big issue. In some Asian
cultures. Generally, what I
		
01:05:45 --> 01:05:46
			suggest to people is that
		
01:05:47 --> 01:05:52
			respecting your parents,
respecting, honoring them is
		
01:05:53 --> 01:05:57
			unconditional. Regardless, even if
they're coffee, you still have to
		
01:05:57 --> 01:06:00
			respect them, but you don't have
to follow them. If they Cofer, and
		
01:06:00 --> 01:06:02
			they're telling you to do
something wrong, you don't have to
		
01:06:02 --> 01:06:04
			follow them. But you have to
respect them.
		
01:06:05 --> 01:06:09
			You can't even say off. So if you
don't want to marry somebody that
		
01:06:09 --> 01:06:12
			your parents you should first
give, it's an option, you should
		
01:06:12 --> 01:06:17
			first consider it strongly. If if
you can make it work. Because then
		
01:06:17 --> 01:06:20
			your parents are happy, you are
happy, everybody's happy and
		
01:06:20 --> 01:06:23
			Hamdulillah. But if you know it's
a situation, that guy is a drug
		
01:06:23 --> 01:06:27
			dealer, the guy is doesn't pray,
the guy's you just don't see a
		
01:06:27 --> 01:06:28
			possibility
		
01:06:29 --> 01:06:29
			you've tried,
		
01:06:31 --> 01:06:37
			then it's firm, firm persistence,
you have to start, I would say you
		
01:06:37 --> 01:06:40
			should start treating your parents
even better, do more work for
		
01:06:40 --> 01:06:45
			them. When their love over from
the love of their culture towards
		
01:06:45 --> 01:06:48
			your love, they have love for you.
But the culture, love is too
		
01:06:48 --> 01:06:54
			strong. You have to try to win
that over through patience. It's
		
01:06:54 --> 01:06:57
			going to take a long time,
sometimes you have to keep acting
		
01:06:57 --> 01:07:01
			well until the parents are
thinking, to * with my culture,
		
01:07:01 --> 01:07:05
			I need my children. Some parents
are very stubborn, you may not
		
01:07:05 --> 01:07:10
			work, they will disown you, they
will blackmail you. They will say
		
01:07:10 --> 01:07:13
			this that I've we've dealt with
these issues. It's just really sad
		
01:07:13 --> 01:07:17
			case. But it depends on how much
you're willing to push it. But the
		
01:07:17 --> 01:07:21
			one thing is from a 50
perspective, you're not obliged,
		
01:07:21 --> 01:07:26
			you're not obliged to do something
harmful to yourself, because your
		
01:07:26 --> 01:07:27
			parents tell you to do so.
		
01:07:29 --> 01:07:33
			Right? Parents can be
unreasonable. Parents can be
		
01:07:33 --> 01:07:37
			oppressive if they're not free of
that. And if they are like that,
		
01:07:37 --> 01:07:40
			then you don't have to listen to
them, though you still have to
		
01:07:40 --> 01:07:42
			respect them, and show them on a
		
01:07:43 --> 01:07:49
			very difficult thing to do. But a
lot of the times the youth in this
		
01:07:49 --> 01:07:50
			situation they may get.
		
01:07:52 --> 01:07:55
			They may be selfish, they may not
look at it right? They may think
		
01:07:55 --> 01:07:59
			the parents are being oppressive
and they're not. So they should go
		
01:07:59 --> 01:08:02
			and ask a few scholars. This is
what the situation is and be
		
01:08:02 --> 01:08:05
			honest, that this is what the
situation is, am I right? Or Is my
		
01:08:05 --> 01:08:09
			father right? In this case? Are
they being oppressive or not? They
		
01:08:09 --> 01:08:12
			should go and ask for guidance
shouldn't take matters in their
		
01:08:12 --> 01:08:15
			own hands all the time, because
you could be wrong. A lot of the
		
01:08:15 --> 01:08:19
			time teens don't see things in a
mature way because they haven't
		
01:08:19 --> 01:08:20
			experienced.
		
01:08:21 --> 01:08:24
			So I mean, I'm speaking to all the
people here, there's no point
		
01:08:24 --> 01:08:27
			telling you guys this, right?
Because you have the experience
		
01:08:27 --> 01:08:30
			already. But this is just if you
want to explain to somebody this
		
01:08:30 --> 01:08:32
			is this is what generally I tell
people,
		
01:08:34 --> 01:08:34
			and
		
01:08:35 --> 01:08:41
			how should youth act and behave in
a multicultural situation with the
		
01:08:43 --> 01:08:47
			with all of the environment as we
have it right now, the first thing
		
01:08:47 --> 01:08:50
			that is most important is our
youth need to be proud of their
		
01:08:50 --> 01:08:53
			faith. They need to make a clear
distinction between what is right
		
01:08:53 --> 01:08:58
			and wrong is in the faith. What is
violence? And what is real Jihad
		
01:08:58 --> 01:09:01
			and what is the fake Jihad and the
artificial Jihad that people are
		
01:09:01 --> 01:09:05
			saying, we need to have that
discussion. Because we don't want
		
01:09:05 --> 01:09:12
			them to become so assimilated that
they don't even understand what is
		
01:09:12 --> 01:09:16
			Islam and what is not Islam, that
they want to hide their faith and
		
01:09:16 --> 01:09:19
			just act like change their name.
You know from
		
01:09:21 --> 01:09:24
			Salim to Sam and you know,
whatever the case, we don't want
		
01:09:24 --> 01:09:25
			them to do that either.
		
01:09:26 --> 01:09:31
			Mohamed TUMO is more Mohammed
Farah, if you can stay in Mahama
		
01:09:31 --> 01:09:35
			for I'm sure he will be even more
respected like Muhammad Ali, the
		
01:09:35 --> 01:09:41
			boxer. He gained his respect
despite being Muhammad, right. So
		
01:09:42 --> 01:09:48
			what we need to teach our youth is
that you need to stop feeling that
		
01:09:48 --> 01:09:50
			you're a foreigner in this
country.
		
01:09:51 --> 01:09:55
			You need to take ownership, that
you are part and parcel of this
		
01:09:55 --> 01:09:55
			country.
		
01:09:56 --> 01:09:59
			And you need to see how you can
help and
		
01:10:00 --> 01:10:05
			contribute, and not just be a
consumer, how people will respect
		
01:10:05 --> 01:10:09
			you for what you can contribute.
And they will look beyond what you
		
01:10:09 --> 01:10:12
			look like, or what your faith is.
		
01:10:13 --> 01:10:16
			This is difficult. People don't
think in this mature way
		
01:10:16 --> 01:10:20
			generally, but this is what we
need to teach our children that
		
01:10:20 --> 01:10:24
			people will respect, you'll get a
few odd people who are racist,
		
01:10:24 --> 01:10:28
			completely racist, but majority of
people are not racist. We've gone
		
01:10:28 --> 01:10:28
			beyond that.
		
01:10:30 --> 01:10:36
			So they respect hard work. They
respect good qualifications. So
		
01:10:36 --> 01:10:38
			work hard at what you do,
		
01:10:39 --> 01:10:43
			and see how you can help people
and don't just another problem
		
01:10:43 --> 01:10:45
			with our Muslim communities that
were generally focused on.
		
01:10:47 --> 01:10:51
			Only Muslim causes, will collect
money only for Muslim countries,
		
01:10:51 --> 01:10:58
			Muslim causes, we don't take part
in general causes. So we don't
		
01:10:58 --> 01:11:01
			show that we're considering other
people as well. That we have
		
01:11:01 --> 01:11:05
			compassion for other people. So
it's very helpful to get our
		
01:11:05 --> 01:11:09
			children involved in something
like this from a young age, when
		
01:11:09 --> 01:11:15
			they say that, teach your children
importance of truth. These are
		
01:11:15 --> 01:11:18
			three very important things for
our youth and children. Teach them
		
01:11:18 --> 01:11:22
			the importance of truth wherever
they are, because humans don't
		
01:11:22 --> 01:11:26
			lie. Forget Muslims, humans should
not be lying. Lying is considered
		
01:11:26 --> 01:11:28
			to be wrong in all cultures.
		
01:11:29 --> 01:11:34
			Number two importance of prayer
salads, because that's what's
		
01:11:34 --> 01:11:38
			going to give them strength in the
true sense of it. And number three
		
01:11:38 --> 01:11:44
			is hikma service. So when people
come to your house, get the kids
		
01:11:44 --> 01:11:48
			involved in serving them, so that
they can learn to serve others as
		
01:11:48 --> 01:11:53
			well afterwards and we should try
as a community to get help get our
		
01:11:53 --> 01:11:58
			children to help in local
mainstream service work as well
		
01:11:58 --> 01:11:59
			feeding the homeless
		
01:12:00 --> 01:12:04
			raising money for other things,
you know, Muslim and non Muslim
		
01:12:04 --> 01:12:05
			causes because it's about
		
01:12:06 --> 01:12:11
			one other Omar said that if it
wasn't for the Hadith, of Martha
		
01:12:11 --> 01:12:15
			the Allahu Anhu would say is that
zakat must be taken from the
		
01:12:15 --> 01:12:19
			Muslims and given to the Muslims.
We would even allows the cat to be
		
01:12:19 --> 01:12:22
			given to non Muslims, because
everything else you can give to
		
01:12:22 --> 01:12:26
			non Muslims, you can give sadaqa
you can give qurbani meat, you can
		
01:12:26 --> 01:12:30
			give southern counterfeiter is for
non Muslims as well. Right on his
		
01:12:30 --> 01:12:34
			account, you can't because we have
a specific Hadith about that. So
		
01:12:34 --> 01:12:38
			we need to think more universally
think about everybody, as opposed
		
01:12:38 --> 01:12:41
			to just about ourselves in our own
community. Because we're in this
		
01:12:41 --> 01:12:45
			kind of survival kind of mode,
defensive mode. We need to think
		
01:12:45 --> 01:12:49
			beyond that. We are part and
parcel of this country, especially
		
01:12:49 --> 01:12:53
			the youth who are born here, so
they mustn't feel like strangers
		
01:12:53 --> 01:12:58
			and aliens. But ask Allah for
assistance and guidance and do the
		
01:12:58 --> 01:13:03
			right thing. May Allah subhanaw
taala grant us that's all fake. So
		
01:13:03 --> 01:13:07
			I think I've answered all the
questions just like a law firm.