Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Bangalore Tour 2018 An Intellectual Person’s Path to Success
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Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim Al Hamdulillah Hamden cathedral a
uban Mubarak and fie Mubarak Kennedy, gamma your Hebrew Robina
were the children who are men a word of a salatu salam O Allah say
you dill Habib Al Mustafa sallallahu
alayhi wa aalihi wa sahbihi wa Baraka was seldom at the Sleeman
Kathira on Ilario meet Dean
Amma bad
but who call Allah Who Tabata Koba Phil Quran emoji they will for
cloning Hamid Bell who is Toumba Yuna tone fee sudo Latina who
tolerated so the Kola hula team, I'm standing up because I've had
some late nights in the last few days and I don't want to fall
asleep while speaking to you.
So I'm going to stand up so I can move around the bits and keep it
fresh. I want to first thank our speaker and our great shake, as it
Mullah Muhammad Madani, for,
for for his kind words, clearly, I don't deserve them and but the
situation is the way it is May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless him,
and may Allah subhanaw taala accept him and the work that he's
doing in the Indian subcontinent and the benefit of that in other
places as well is probably not unknown to to you all. So may
Allah subhana wa Tada grant him even greater and accept Him in sha
Allah. So our dear anima dear mushy Dear brothers, dear sisters,
I see some young young people as well some young girls, young boys
I see as well. I hope I don't stand here and waste your
afternoon. I know you've waited for a long time already.
We make dua for those who mashallah worked very hard to put
this, this event together. And we ask Allah subhanaw taala to accept
it and make it useful. Let us start with the topic. Can you just
give me is it possible to give me the topic again. Now this topic
here is sounds like a very pompous topic
of intellectuals and intellectual persons path to success, which
assumes that if you're here, you must consider yourself to be
intellectual.
That means that this is it seems to assume that if anybody is not
intellectual, they shouldn't be here.
Right?
So I don't know what intention you came with. But we're all here now.
And whatever the situation is, to be honest, the first time when
this was presented to me, I was averse to the topic. It just
sounds a bit too self dignifying a bit too, too self purifying,
elevating. And, but if that works here, hamdulillah it works. Right?
We're here now. If you don't consider yourself intellectual, or
you do consider it's irrelevant. Because if Allah has given us a
lot of gray matter in the mind, in the brain, that we can use
mashallah to accomplish something in this world, then we want to
also use it to accomplish something in the hereafter as
well.
What I'm going to speak about today may not be just may not be
just on one particular topic or one particular subject.
I want to just bring over various different points, thinking points,
I want to just throw ideas out there, just to get us to think
where are we in this regard. Everybody here, in general has
their own reality that they deal with their own family situation,
work situation, personal situation, they have particular
person perspectives, they have particular goals, certain
ambitions in what they want to do in life. So it's difficult to give
a particular way forward, everybody that are a particular
way that works for everybody. That's why what I want to speak
about today are things that will make us think about our own life
and our own situation. And in sha Allah, help us to think of those
matters that we may not have been thinking about that are important,
both from a faith and a worldly perspective. It's very easy for
career oriented people to become blind of everything else.
If I'm very career driven, and there's something that there's a
there's a glass ceiling that I assume I want to break through
this glass ceiling, then I become so focused, so tunnel visioned
that I don't think about anything else. Sometimes I will probably
neglect my family, neglect my social circle if I have one,
neglect extended relatives, and of course, then neglecting your
religion, neglecting your own health, sometimes neglecting your
own health sometimes. That's why a comprehensive human being from an
Islamic perspective is somebody who gives due to everything, all
the needs. And that's what we're trying to create the balance. And
I think that is the biggest challenge for for certain driven
people, if I say, driven people.
So in in that sense, I'm going to be talking about several different
things. Let me give you an example. The discussion has that
Maulana Muhammad Mandisa brought up here was about general
interaction with people of other faiths. That's a nice term to use
people of other faiths, Islam and other faiths. How is our
interaction, and one of the things that was mentioned is that we need
to change our perspective, we need to start looking at everybody
else, as someone that we can work with for the ultimate or higher
goal, how we can share our good values by displaying it on our
cell first, by enacting it first. This has been one thing that I've
spoken about a few times now. It's very easy to claim that our
messenger sallallahu alayhi, wa sallam was the greatest
personality. There's no doubt about that. It's very easy to say
the Quran is the best book. But at the end of the day for somebody
who's not going to read it, who is not going to study the life of the
prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, it's just a claim they're
going to be listening to from the mouths of Muslim people.
How do they know that what we're saying is true? Maybe what we're
doing in our life contradicts what is supposed to be good character,
prophetic, good character. So we claim Robert Southern lorrison was
like this. And his o'clock were like this. And his conduct was
excellent. And he had sublime characteristics. But how do we
prove it to people that that is the case, we can't force them to
read a Syrah or a biography of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, we
can't always force everybody to read the Quran, we have to become
manifestations
of the Quran and Sunnah.
And that has a greater impact. And that will hopefully Inshallah,
turn the tide. If there are people out there creating animosity and
hatred towards Muslims or against Muslims rather than a, somebody
asked the question yesterday,
Islam has become maligned and criticized on a world stage, what
is our responsibility? Well, our responsibility is that we don't
have CNN in our hands. We don't have the BBC or hands. We don't
have anything that is up to that level that has such a widespread
that has such mass impact. We don't have anything like that. So
our responsibility is at a local level. That's our responsibility.
shaytaan will make us think that we need to change the global
scene, but then we forget the local scene. Really, it's the
local scene that we have to start to make a change out. Now, one of
the contentions if I'm to start dealing with some of the issues of
some of the principles of life, let's call it this can apply. If
you're a student, do we have any students here who are still
studying? Put your hands up, please? Okay. All right. So that's
maybe about 10% 10 to 15%. Our students, I'm assuming the rest
would be business people or employers employed or employers,
right, working the working class as such. So now, there's a few
things I want to mention is whatever you're doing in whatever
field you are, you must be able to excel in that field.
You must be able to excel in that field.
So you do your best. In Islam, we have a concept of concept called
exon, which means to make something excellent. to beautify
something, it comes from the word husen. Which means to
cause something to make something as beautiful as possible. I don't
mean just make yourself look beautiful with a lot of makeup.
Right or with nice clothes. That's just one aspects. But in
everything you do, if you're building a masjid, we'll make sure
that it is excellent in the way you build it. Which means think
about everything including the smell of the Masjid. Most people
build good mustards, beautiful mustards, but they forget
that there is a
fragrance is also part of Islam. plebe, which basically means God
sent the prophets, Allah some loved good scent, he hated bad
scent. So, in fact, studies show that good sense, they create the
right, he helped to create the right right atmosphere. If you go
to some of these prominent
global brand hotels, they actually have, they spend money with some
Olli factory scientists or engineers to create the perfect
scent for the mood that they want to give and create for their
guests. So if you go to the Hilton, you go to certain others,
there's a certain scent,
perfume fragrance that they will actually have designed to convey
their mood. And massages need to think about that maybe I'm talking
on a very high level here. But in sha Allah I it needs to be
mentioned, because nobody even is concerned about this. In
everything we do, we need to show perfection because perfection is
what people appreciate.
In the way we work, I was in Sri Lanka
few days ago, and one of the scholars there told me that one of
the biggest problems we have here is that nobody
trust anybody's word anymore.
People are not willing to trust your word. And the reason is that
people are generally let down too often. So for example, if I tell
you that I'm going to come in 10 minutes, then it becomes half an
hour.
If I tell you I'm going to be there in two minutes, it actually
doesn't mean to means 20. So for example, we went to a hotel,
actually, the hotel we were staying in and move this up, he
was dropping us off to the hotel, but he had to come inside, there
was no parking. And the parking attendant said You can't park
here. So he said, Just give me five minutes, I only need to five
minutes, we're gonna go upstairs, collect something and come back
down. And the person was unwilling.
And but then finally, we convinced him we went upstairs and move this
up told me that this the reason is because we will say five minutes,
but we'll come down after 20 minutes. And there's other people
whose caused me want to go out. So we made sure that we went up and
we quickly came back down down within five minutes, just to show
that there's somebody who keeps His words. Now this isn't to say
just Muslims don't keep their word, but even the people of other
faiths, they don't keep their word, it becomes a manhole, it
becomes an environment. This is the problem. Imam Shafi
Rahmatullahi Allah he says that you need to travel
or sir farofa enough is Safaree humsafar. Ed, you need to travel
because traveling, he says has five benefits. And one of the
benefits he mentioned in traveling is that you will be able to
understand and reform your character. How do you reform your
character, and behavior when you're traveling? The way you do
it is that when you're living in one particular society, one
particular community and culture, certain bad habits have become
assimilated into that culture, and become normal in that culture,
tolerated in that culture. And people just deal with it. People
will just deal with it. No longer do you even think it's a problem.
For example, if we're used to doing rebuts, backbiting and
Anytime somebody's discussion comes, I'm willing to talk about
them, somebody else is willing to talk about them. There's nobody
who feels bad about it, I think it's okay to do so then what's
going to happen is, everybody starts doing that. But when you
then go to another culture, another place where people don't
speak like that, they don't do riba so easily. They don't
criticize so easily, they have more patience, then you will start
saying that, Oh, this is my problem, you will start seeing
that through the reflection of that. So that's one of the
benefits.
In your work, you must do the best. And I've seen where the
benefit of that comes about many Muslims, rightly so. And in some
cases wrongly, so they're always complaining that we're not given
our rights.
Our rights are not taken into consideration.
We want to go for Friday prayer from work. They don't let us go. I
want to keep a beard at work, but they don't. They're causing
problems. I want to wear the hijab I want to cover myself up when I
go to work for for women, they cause discrimination.
You see, that's a reality we're going to have to deal with if
that's the reality. That's just something we can't change it
overnight by magic. There's no magic here.
Right? You agree there's no magic here. The way you have to change
that is by showing your value.
As a human being, by being a Muslim, you have to show that when
I work, I work well. For example,
if you're saying to your, to your employer, where you work with your
office manager wherever he is that I need to pray, so I need to go
and make my daughter prayer. And instead of taking 10 minutes,
which you could do, or 15 minutes, you take half an hour. You don't
need to, but you do, then basically, you're giving off the
wrong impression. They're going to think well, let me get somebody
who doesn't need to pray. Right? Let me get somebody who doesn't
need to pray. Why should I get somebody who's going to ask for
these things. So we have to pray. So we have to ask for it. There's
one friend who I have. He works for a housing association. He's an
IT person. There's a certain niche
Housing Association managing software, which there's very few
technicians, it technicians who can manage that software. He is
one of them. He was invited to come to work for in West London
for a particular housing association.
And in the interview, he said look,
especially in the winter, because in London, in England, in the
winter, the Fajr is about seven 730. In the morning, the hair is
at about 1231. The hair is at three o'clock, our service at
three o'clock. McGreevy is at four o'clock. So all of these will come
in work time, go ahead of us and Maghrib, within a few moments of
each other will come in work time. So
I'm going to have to pray. So I'm just mentioning this from before.
So they said, Okay, we will research into this. And we will
check because they want to make sure that he's not just making
excuses. So in the next interview that Alhamdulillah we went and we
researched and we see that Muslims do pray. So we will be hiring a
room in the hotel next door for you to be able to go and pray in
whenever you want.
Now, he was surprised. He says I don't need a hotel room. I just
need a small space in a corner of a room somewhere. Don't waste your
money.
Right, don't waste your money. And so then they found a storeroom,
which they cleaned up put a carpet in there and they said okay, this
is for you.
The reason why he can do this is because he shows capability,
quality commitment. If you're going to be constantly taking
shortcuts, and trying to use your Muslim cut, it's gonna be a
problem.
Just to Ramadan's ago, he showed me his schedule that the company
has sent him and he showed him there how it said they had, they
had a shortened schedule for him. And he said, Ramadan, Ramadan,
Ramadan, they understand he's fasting. And in nowadays, the fast
is very long in Ramadan because McGreevy is at 920 in London, and
Fajr can finish by one sorry, say Saturday finishes by one 115 120.
So you're fasting for most of the day. So they have themselves
without him asking. They've given him these are non Muslims. They
have given him a shortened schedule, and some days he can
work from home.
The reason is that he is providing an asset to them quality. If
you're not the best at what you do, then you also want to fight
for your rights, it becomes difficult in the climate we're
speaking about. That's the problem. I got another friend.
He used to work. He's half Egyptian and half Palestinian,
this was in America. And he used to work for superconductor
technology. This was about
15 years ago, 1520 years ago, when the mobile phones first came out
where the cell phone first started becoming popular. So
superconductor technology is used. He used to work in a firm and
he would refuse to he was a very good worker, but he would refuse
to attend the annual general meetings, because they used to
serve wine there. So he made it very clear that I'm unable to come
because you serve wine there, I cannot, according to my faith, sit
on the same table on which wine is being served.
So for two years, three years, he missed the meeting, but he was a
very, he was an asset to the company. He used to be also
committee member of the Masjid. He was you can say to a certain
degree, my line manager in the masjid. Right. So he would give
time to the masjid he would give time to work. Friday evenings he
would take off from work, but he would work extra every day. Right
at his company.
One year,
his supervisor called him and he said, we've got the Annual General
Meeting and a few in a few weeks, or a few days, or whatever it was,
can you come? He says, Well, you know, my policy, I cannot come
because of x, y, and Zed. You know, because of this reason. He
said, Now you can come this time, because we've changed our policy,
and no longer will we be serving alcohol in our annual general
meetings. The only reason they would do this is because he's an
asset,
become an asset become somebody to be valued.
Right? If you consider yourself an intellectual, you need to be
intellectually, I mean, we need to be valued. We need to be able to
provide value. I'll give you another example. I know these are
maybe exceptional examples. I know that this is not going to work for
magic for everybody. Right? I understand that. I'll give you
another example.
Another friend of mine, he's an army. He's got a big beard. And he
works. He works in a very niche it firm that does.
Finance Management Software.
Right. It's something systems, I don't want to mention the name
it's in America. It's actually owned by a Hindu, an Indian Hindu
in America. It's actually owned by an Indian Hindu. And he's a Muslim
who works there. And he's very clearly overtly Muslim. Right? He
doesn't, He's not shy about it. He's not embarrassed about it.
He had a mortgage on his house. He had a $500,000 property. And he
had, he had a mortgage on his house, maybe 300,000, left or
whatever. And after hearing about the curse of mortgage and haram
and former one Ramadan, he was feeling very upset, making Laura
dua to Allah subhanaw taala.
And he said, how he was making dua that Allah Allah, get me out of
this, relieve me of this burden, I don't want to be in this sin.
Now, it's so much money to be able to pay off your mortgage so
quickly. His salary may have been 70 $80,000 a year maybe, right at
the time.
Allah put in his mind, he is a very bold character. He's a very
bold character outspoken, no doubt about that, right? very
extroverted, extroverted person. He wrote an email the night
before, to his boss, the Hindu
boss of the, of the of the company, that
now you will be you will be, this will be unbelievable for you. He
said, I know this sounds this may sound I mean, I'm paraphrasing, I
know this may sound strange, but is it anywhere possible that you
can pay me this coming year salary upfront?
Now imagine asking your pasta, give me this entire next coming
year salary in advance, 77,000, whatever it is, and I will then
work for free for the whole year.
That was the bargain he offered.
He said there's no harm in trying the worst comes to us, they'll say
no, but there's no harm in trying now most of us will probably not
even try, you need to be very bold for this. And you need a certain
level of Tawakkol.
The next morning, he goes to work. And the boss is standing there. He
says, you know, he called his name and he said, I got your email,
please go and see human resources, they'll they'll work with you on
this. He went to the finance department, whatever it was. And
they said, Look, this is the offer we're giving you,
we will give you
your next your coming year salary upfront.
But then because you will have no salary for those 12 months. For
the rest. For the 12 months, you will not be receiving a salary
because you've received it in advance, we will give you half the
salary of next year, or each month for this month for the month of
this year.
Not just getting 70,000 upfront, but in every subsequent month for
the next two years, you will get half a salary.
Now isn't that a better deal than what Ian he had even hoped for?
That works for him. Um, if you write an email to your boss today
to do the same thing, I don't know if it's gonna work. Right. If you
have historical and his doors, maybe it will work. But what I'm
trying to say is that you have to be creative, but you have to be an
asset. You have to be a true believer, true to your faith, but
also committed to your work in England and in the West in general
in America, etc. The problem we're having is that we got to extremes
of people
in the workplace. In the media, the mass majority in the middle
they are not heard of.
We've either got one extreme who wants to assimilate
completely,
they want to not to be seen as being any different.
They want to fit into the culture. So they will even go to pubs and
clubs. They will have their happy evenings with, you know where the
beer is flowing or the wine is flowing. They will do all of these
things. They even changed their name from Mohammed to Mo, a salam
to Sam, and so on and so forth. They don't want anybody to know
they're a Muslim, because they believe that this is going to
stunt their career, this is going to stop them climbing up the
ladder. So they've given up their faith, or it's a very silent
faith, very concealed faith, very personal faith. They don't let
anybody know they tried to dress they try to act, they try to fit
in completely. And that's one extreme, then you've got the other
extreme of people who are going in there who want to even wear you
know, traditional dress, even in a corporate environment where it
becomes difficult to do so. Right. In some cases, they insist on it,
which causes some animosity, sometimes
they want to take their breaks for salaat, which is fine, but then
they take extra time and then they constantly say you're
discriminating against me if they don't give you enough time.
There's in London, many hedge packages are only two weeks or two
and a half weeks. Indian hedge packages are generally six weeks
or eight weeks, mashallah you guys have lots of Baraka. Right? When
Indian comes, they come for a very long time, which is understandable
because a lot of people have saved up for their entire life, and they
want to enjoy it because they may not be able to go again. But for
people who are in the mashallah economically, have greater
stability and disposable income. If your company doesn't allow six
weeks, and you have to perform hajj, we'll go for two weeks.
Nothing wrong with that Allah will give you tofi to do it again. So
don't be insistent. Where you have to balance balance, your
insistence to also your capability and your asset. What how much
assets are you providing to the company? How far can you push it?
It's easy to say I'm going in England, we have discrimination
laws, if the employer doesn't allow you to pray, doesn't allow
you to wear hijab, then you can take them to court, right? Why do
you want to do that? Where you can try to make it work otherwise?
Subhanallah we have some extremists, in a sense, one
sister, she's an ecobee. From America, she wrote to me, and she
said that her husband
this is just complete misunderstanding. Her husband
couldn't find a job in which it was 100% You know, segregation and
so on. So then he sent his wife to work with the niqab.
Now, that's unmanly. Forget being an Islamic it's unmanly as well,
purely from a man male perspective. Thus, masculinity in
crisis, right? He forced her to go to work, because because of this
because he couldn't find a so called kosher job, meaning a job
that fit 100% with the way he wanted things.
So you have a lot of other said, you have these two extremes. We
can't be this extreme. We can't be this extreme. We need to be in the
middle. We need to be assets, we need to work hard. And for that
you need to study hard if you're still studying, and there will be
discrimination because that's the nature of the world we're living
in right now. What are you going to do about it? We just have to do
our best and try to use our mind as best as possible to try to help
that situation. We have to the second problem that we're dealing
with is the social media.
From a productivity standpoint,
from a productivity standpoint, social media is very detrimental.
And the reason I say this is because social media in itself is
not haram to use Facebook or Twitter or WhatsApp for that
matter or even Instagram to a certain degree is not haram. They
are not intrinsically haram things.
But their usage can be haram that's why I have a I've compiled
a dua for Twitter, compiled a dua for Facebook, and all of these
other social media sites. The DA is Allahumma inni as a locum in
Haiti however Haiti mafia, when they're also becoming shadowy,
however shadowy mafia, if you're going to use it if you have to use
it, either you know for your your work related or whatever other
reason you use it for read this to our which basically means
Allah I asked you for the best of it, and the best of what is
contained or for the best of what is produced. And Oh Allah, I seek
Your protection and refuge from the evil of it and from the evil
of what it contains.
When I went into university, I remember when I went to university
for my for my Master's and PhD, this was the DUA that I read.
Because while universities provide mashallah, a lot of a lot of
knowledge, a lot of expertise, studies, etc. Clearly, there are
also a lot of fitna and challenges and temptations that are there for
men and women. So I wanted to protect myself, I found this to be
a necessary evil, you can say, if you want to call it an evil, I
don't necessarily call it an evil. But if you want to term it as
such, just as a, as a metaphor, that let me go there. I'm a
happily married person, I don't want to go there and get messed
up. Right? Because this is a big challenge in places like that,
because of the close interaction and even in the workplace. So my
daughter was, Oh Allah give me the best of this. And for what it's
created, and let me avoid and protect me from the harms of what
there is or what the potential harms they may be. Because that's
what that's that's what you get. So you can use this doll for any
such environment like this. We want to be guided by Allah in
everything that we do. Now.
Speaking about WhatsApp, how many people here do not use WhatsApp?
Put your hands up please. If you don't use WhatsApp, right, I'd be
surprised 1234
Anybody in the system is no use WhatsApp, okay, maybe five or six
there may be 10 People here do not use WhatsApp, which is probably
about 5% if even that much, mashallah WhatsApp is the most
popular. And because it's free now, you don't even have to pay 69
cents or something like that a year was Capoeira humble, was
Gilbert, who centuries ago moved him, like, you know, just
basically bombard the system.
Way down the system. You know, what we have to understand at the
end of the day, is that there's resources that are being expended
even in it, there's energy, there are data centers, they take up a
huge amount of electricity, right there, our electricity has to be
generated. This takes the natural resources of the world, it's all
effected, and we think it's just the push of a button is just
there. No, there is a there is a payment, right there is a cost. We
never think about these things. Number two, forget just the normal
natural cost of it. The other course we have to remember the
other thing we have to remember is that there's a time cost involved
in these things. You will know it people will know if you read the
you know the latest reports on things that these things are not
created by accident, the addictiveness of Instagram and the
addictiveness of even WhatsApp when you see when you send a
message and you wait for the one tick and the other tick, and that
there's two ticks and then the green and the feeling it gives you
the dopamine rush that it provides you This is all based on our
enough's. Right the study is on the knifes the psychology behind
it, millions have been spent in trying to figure out the best way
to keep people hooked on games, children, adults, everybody,
husbands wives, the works in the time of the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wasallam.
The complaints were from the women that their husbands were not
coming to bed, they were neglecting them in bed. Why were
they neglecting them? Not because they were out with their friends,
our team too late. Not because they were sitting on their
laptops, watching haram things. The complaint was that they don't
come to bed because they because they were doing tahajud all night.
They were doing tahajud all night.
A woman came to the Amara, the hola Juan
and she started saying she couldn't say clearly she started
saying my husband he is constantly engaged in worship, and he prays
all night and so on and so forth. So Almighty Allah and said
mashallah wonderful husband you have, he's so pious, he's so
righteous, right?
So she said it again. And Amara. They kept praising the husband
saying, mashallah, what a wonderful, pious religious husband
you have. There was another Dabiri who was sitting there, one of his
companions, and he said,
That's not what she's saying. She's complaining about her
husband, she's not praising her husband.
Do any of the women have that complaint about their husband that
you praise too much?
That would be a good complaint still. Today unfortunately, the
emails we get is that my husband sits watching * even
until two o'clock at night.
And she's there complaining, I'm saying this openly because it's a
reality. And the problem in India problem is that your internet is
probably the cheapest in the world.
It's the cheapest in the world. I mean, from what I'm seeing, I
mean, I haven't been everywhere, but it's extremely cheap. And when
I was sitting on the flight from Sri Lanka to hear both people next
to me, were on Netflix, at least one of them the other one was
watching some other movie. And Netflix, I don't know, how have
you seen Netflix? By the way? Do you know what Netflix is? Right? I
looked at it a few. Because everybody was talking about
binging on Netflix. So then, my friend he gave me the access. So I
checked and Masha Allah, I mean, you can literally entertain
yourself for the next 72 hours and,
and just go from one movie to the next. There is so much algorithm,
and psychology that's gone into presenting the offerings on there
in such a way that you just want, as soon as one movie finishes, the
next one starts.
They give you a suggestion, they do that in YouTube, it's just to
keep you hooked. A lot of science has gone into this.
The report shows that some of the founders are the people at the top
end of these things have these facilities, they don't even let
their children have access to these things. Because they know
the shaytani is behind it. They know the potential problems behind
it. They want their children to be productive, like they were.
This is the opium for the masses that they've created.
We must be careful about this. So when Amara alone heard from his
companion that oh, she's complaining about her husband, he
says, Okay, since you are understood her case, you need to
deal with it. So he said, Okay, let's call her husband. Now,
what's interesting is that both of them were poets, both the husband
and the wife, they were both poets. So they're both speaking in
line in verse, the husband is saying, oh, you know, my love for
Allah and my love for the novel is keeping my side away from the bed
and et cetera, et cetera. And then she gets to respond. She says, oh,
Khalifa, oh, Judge, don't become deceived by his pretty words, you
know, make sure that you tell him to do what's right, and so on and
so forth. So finally, the judgment was that
the judgment that this this companion gave is that the husband
is allowed, in every four days, he's allowed three days for his
worship at night. He doesn't have to come to bed. Right? He said,
Every four nights, the wife must have you in the bed.
So amaro the loan said, Where did you get that judgment? From?
What's the basis of your judgment? Because it's very interesting
judgment. Does anybody know where this judgment came? What's the
background of this judgment? What's the basis?
What is it?
Yes.
What is the basis of the four wives? MashAllah the men
understand this, don't they? Right? So, basically, he said that
a man is allowed up to four, he has decided in those days, they
used to do two three was normal for them, he has decided not to
his suffice with one. So because his other three options, he can
use those for worship instead. But every fourth night, which he would
have, which he would have been bound to come to the wife, then
you must, then then he must come to the wife. So those were the
kinds of complaints that women would bring to the Prophet
sallallahu, some of the Sahaba today,
just some time ago, one very dignified, respectable individual
from my community came to me and he's complaining about his wife.
Not that she speaks too much, or she does this. So she doesn't
know. He's saying she's constantly on WhatsApp.
And I just thought back and I said in the time Rasulullah, sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam, the wives would complain about the husbands for
worship. And today, you've got dignified men complaining about
their wives that when they're cooking, they're on WhatsApp, so
maybe extra salt or less salt, or extra miniature, you know, less
marriage, or when they go to bed. She's still on the WhatsApp for
sending the rest of the messages. And he's waiting to speak to her.
Now, this is not a woman problem. This is just an example. Men and
women are both into this.
Men and women are both doing this is just in this case, it happened
to be the woman who is the proliferator of this problem. It
is so addictive. My children I've got four children.
One is 21. Other one is 18. And then I've got a 11 and ate
both my two older ones
when they were young, until they got a cell phone, right.
And the two younger ones even until now
out their main hobby is to read a book. If it can't be on the
computer, they only allowed two hours on Saturday and Sunday, two
hours each on Saturday and Sunday to be on either do gaming or
whatever they want to play. They're not allowed. Otherwise,
it's just not on. Right? It's very restricted. But after the two
hours finish, to remove them from their Allahu Akbar, you have to
send them to rehabilitation. I even tell them, Look, you've got,
you've got addiction problems. You've got withdrawal symptoms,
even my six year old, sorry, eight year old now, I tell him, you've
got withdrawal symptoms. That's why I'm not going to let you do
next week. So when they try to calm down, right?
They read books. They read books.
Right? How much did they read, one of my son's teacher complained
that from going from one class to the next, he's reading a book as
he's going up the steps, he may fall and hurt himself. The
punishment for them is that you're not allowed to read a book. Okay,
for next two hours. You can't read a book, or for today, you can't
read a book. That's their punishment.
I mean, when I was young, I used to read 13 books a week, my wife
used to read lots of books. I don't think it's genetic. Right?
You know, we can't say everything is genetic. I think there's a
reason for this. When you have young children read to them,
the mother and the father read to them be to them stories of the
Prophet read to them other nice, moral based stories, even if
they're not from the Quran, sunnah. Get them, make them
understand that books have very interesting stories. Otherwise, if
you want your children to read and you say just read, read, read, and
they don't read, because they want to be on the screen, then you
haven't told them why they should read, you haven't created in them
the inspiration to read when you've read to them, and they
understand now psychologically, they connect a book to a good time
a good story, then they will want to read themselves. In Ramadan, we
said they're going to read though we tell them some to read so much
Quran as well, etc. But if you want to read now, he then prepared
a special box of books that were only Islamic books that in
Ramadan, you can read Harry Potter and everything else you must read
Islamic books only.
I'm just telling you this just for inspiration.
There are a few big books, Khalid bin Walid book, it's like a
special study on how they've been worried in about, I don't know,
three 400 pages very in depth study. There's another two volume,
big to volume copy of the conquest of the sahaba. Right in English.
Even my seven year old, he was seven at the time, he read the
whole thing. And other one about twice they read it. I haven't even
read it yet.
If you treat, if you focus on giving the right kind of
interaction to your children, then that is how you have to nurture
them. Because you can't just tell them do this and that you have to
create that in and spend time in doing that. So
when it comes to WhatsApp, for example, there's a lot of abuse of
WhatsApp.
Everything that you hear that comes on WhatsApp, you forward.
That is a massive draining of resources and of people's time
resources. Because when I receive a message, and I'm not interested
in it, but you're not interested in it, you just forwarded it
because it sounded nice. You did not practice upon it. You just
sent it to me. I received that same message from five groups.
What am I going to read it each time or we're going to delete?
Delete is an effort. Right? Deleting is time consuming. Right?
All of that is time consuming takes the resources of your phone
it takes resources of everything.
That's why my principle is that only forward those things which
impacted you so much that you actually made it made some
difference in your thinking or your life then forward that
another is don't just forget everything that comes your way.
You don't need to write. In fact, sometimes people forget things
which are completely wrong, made up inaccurate.
Then you could actually be guilty the Prophet sallallahu sallam said
that none of that it is sufficient for a person to be classed a liar.
That he just conveys everything they hear.
The hadith has enough guidance to even provide etiquette Facebook
and WhatsApp and all of these things. It's amazing. If you look
you'll find the guidance for it even though there was no
even a dream of these things before.
So only for that which really benefits you.
Number two, have you seen how many people have been killed on
Whatsapp?
such and such a person has died.
That's the message you get, and suddenly says, no, no, no, no,
he's in terminal illness. He's not died yet. He's still around. And
then you get another message and another message come on.
You know why you forwarding these things for why you perpetrating
ignorance, don't be party to this. Be very careful what you forward,
stop wasting your time with them.
Then
they find ingredients about something that is 10 years old,
and they send stories which are 10 years old. The other thing is, do
not send forwards to everybody on your list without taking
permission, don't spam them. Unless it's something which you
want to tell them directly.
Somebody came once from India. And he says, Can I have your number? I
gave him my number. Within a few hours, I started getting forwards
from him. I said, mashallah, what is this? That I give you my number
to get forwards? Like, did I subscribe to your news channel?
When did you become BBC or something?
Like,
talk to me, tell me something speak to me. Why are you sending
me forwards for so I generally write, please subscribe or
unsubscribe me. I get I receive too much. I don't have the time.
And he said, okay, okay, and then they unsubscribe you. Right?
This is just a massive problem. Don't send spam to people. Now, I
don't know if anybody else is going to tell you this. But I feel
very strongly about this. Because I have to constantly go through
and delete, delete, delete. It's a it's a big, big waste of time. And
I'm not even on many social groups. I'm only on religious
groups. And most of the people on there are older Ma. And even they
do this. So can you imagine what other people are doing?
Right, you have to be very careful how much watch you send, just
because it's a free service, do not abuse it, do not abuse it.
So that's social media, use social media. But don't abuse it. Because
today, it is Facebook and WhatsApp. Tomorrow. I mean,
virtual reality, augmented reality is already here.
It's already here. And there's a lot of haram in it. The whole *
industry is capitalizing on this, to give you whatever pleasure
somebody wants, you can design your pleasure, right? I don't want
to give people ideas, I'm just speaking, frankly, that we need to
learn our way in this, we cannot just close our eyes and say It's
haram, or we can't close ourselves, we're not going to use
it. Because we do use these things. And it's halal to use it
in the right way.
But we have to be very clear about the harms of it. So right now it's
virtual reality, augmented reality, and the future with AI is
going to bring some other really, really crazy things is already
there, you guys have been the industry, you may already know
about these things, it's only going to get more deeper and
darker if we can use the term because they have this whole
concept of deep knowledge or dark knowledge, you can say. So what
are we going to do, we need to place ourselves position ourselves
in the correct way, making sure that our heart is in the right
place so that we can work on these things.
Then moving on to again, the intellectual person, as an
intellectual person, how do you want to use the intellect that
Allah subhanaw taala has provided you?
That's a big question.
Allah has provided you an intellect. So what do you want to
do with it?
Are you just going to use it to get a good job?
To further your career for just selfish reasons. So you can have a
nice house in
what's a good area here?
What's a top class area you want to house there? You know, whatever
you said, Bangor was too big for me. Right? 13 million people. It's
actually bigger than London doubled. It's nearly double the
population of London. It's crazy. Right? So you just want to have
the biggest house and you want to have the greatest influence. Now
you can have these things, but they're not gonna bring you
satisfaction.
You have to remember that just yesterday, we had a discussion
with one of the brothers and the discussion of modernity, modernism
came up, right? We people still use this in a loose way. Right
that he is not very modern. She is very modern. He's very modern. I
just want to let you know that this is a term from history. Now.
The moderns were the people in the 1960s when modernity was
introduced. Modernity came in the 1960s to approximately 1990
To 1000s, after which post modernity has taken place. So
moderns were those people at that time, were still using those
terms. Let's stop using those terms. Because you can be a modern
Muslim, there's nothing wrong with being a modern Muslim, I consider
myself to be a modern Muslim. Modern should not be a negative
term. Modern just means that I mean, if you're using WhatsApp, if
you're using cars, if you're using laptops and iPads and you're a
modern person, what else does it mean to be modern? Modernity
doesn't have to be on being modern in our context doesn't have to be
a negative thing. Right.
So
there was a recent article written by a Christian, a quite a well
known journalist
in London, he's actually addressing the Christians, not the
Muslims, but it's very interesting and insightful reading.
He's saying to the Christians, secularism, and
consumerism,
secularism, consumerism is going to come to an end soon.
Because remember, capitalism, consumerism, secularism, this is
last 2030 years, 40 years. The impact of things can only be
understood later, that communism, which they thought was the best
thing for the people there. But now, even China, China, which is
supposed to be a communist country, there's a massive
disparity in the haves and the have nots. Right. So India left it
socialism is becoming very capitalist, it just didn't work.
That doesn't mean capitalism. Capitalism works. Capitalism is
just more
it is just more conducive to the knifes of the human being.
That's all it is just, they they they are measuring the health of a
society of a country by what people spend that the word
Christmas.
That's why you have Black Friday. What is Black Friday, a lot of
people think it's a conspiracy that is black Joomla is not black
Joomla. Black Friday is an American concept that they want to
provide a lot of offers, so that people buy before Christmas time
in November they buy in advance in Christmas time. And hopefully,
what they can do is they can come out of the red and become black in
terms of their finances. That's the idea behind it.
So they measure the health, the economic health of a society by
what people can buy. What people go out and buy, oh, people didn't
shop enough. So that means the economy is bad. What a weird
culture. They make you buy, they make you buy, they make you buy
things you don't want. Forget, they make you buy things you don't
need they make you buy things you don't want. Just because you got
money, you just buy it.
Amara, the Allahu Anhu was confronted by somebody and he was
carrying a package. It was of meat. He said Ma What is this? He
said, this is some meat. How the lamb on Easter Hey to fish
thereto. This is the meat that I desired. So I purchased, he says
Kulu mash the Haiti straight rates. Everything you desire, you
just buy.
Just because you got money. Disposable income doesn't mean you
must buy everything. You have to be considered yes, if you've got a
need, go and buy. Don't be conduce. Don't be miserly. But
when you don't need something and don't just buy because you can
buy. Be careful about what you do have a good intention in what
you're doing.
So consumerism is going to die soon, because people
you can't be given satisfaction with products. Your first iPhone
will give you satisfaction. Maybe your second one after two, three
years will give you satisfaction. But has anybody got the latest
iPhone?
iPhone 10x whatever it's called. Has anybody got the latest iPhone?
You got it? Did it give you any more satisfaction? The
exhilaration you felt at your first iPhone? Do you still feel
the same exhilaration at this one?
Because they they can only progress so much. They can only
provide so much. Now it's maybe platitude, right? There's only so
much you can do. But this is just the nature of the world. You get
tired.
I only go to malls when I actually need something.
I've stopped going to malls just to browse
because he's a waste of time. And he just tempts you for no reason.
Market this this whole concept of, of consumerism
and
you have Amazon here right now look at the psychology I'm a
mashallah, they've done a wonderful job that they've
literally basically put so many other
businesses out of business, because they provide a wonderful
service they provide, if you get prime, then you can access the
videos, you can access next day shipping. And the feeling of
instant gratification is wonderful. If I order something
today, and that Amazon box arrives, the next day, the feeling
I get of opening, that box is amazing. But then once you've
opened and you've taken all the product, and then as it's gone,
then I have to do it again. So tomorrow, I need another box. And
the next day, I need another box. And then I'll have 50 pairs of
shoes,
or
30 dresses, or maybe 100 dresses.
Once I came back from college, I mentioned this yesterday as well.
Some other day, I came back from hygiene, I found out I had too
many jumpers, and it made me feel guilty.
You can have new things, but get rid of the old things and donate
them
don't hold things just to look at and to feel good about it.
That's why I don't like to talk about this. But since we're on the
topic,
marriages, I still don't understand, look, I'm not a woman,
so forgive me, right? I still don't understand why. For the
wedding day, you must buy a dress for that one day, which cost is
huge amount of money, and you will never see it, you will never wear
it again. And it will gather dust in in your wardrobes.
Get a nice dress, I'm not saying don't, I just don't understand why
it must be a certain type, just so you can show off.
I just don't understand that. But as I said, I'm not a woman. So
maybe there's something in there that I don't get. Alright, I've
never been a woman. So I can't really relate to that. Right?
I'm just saying this is just as I said, I'm gonna throw a lot of
things at you just to think, right? It's up to you what you
take, we ask Allah that it makes this useful. So what he's writing
that journalist in London is writing is that consumerism is
going to end soon because people are not finding the hard
satisfaction. There's only gratification for a short while,
then it goes, then you have to do it all over again. And then people
get tired of doing it. So it's not working. People are going to be
tired of it soon, they're going to turn back to spirituality. Because
right now the age we're living in is a godless age. Where instant
gratification, self
self satisfaction. What else? What else can you say? reliance on the
self because remember, sight, just generally anthropologically
speaking,
whenever prophets began to propagate previous prophets, it
was generally the poor that joined in first. The rich came much
later. Because generally speaking, the poor people, they have nothing
else to, they need some kind of psycho. They need some kind of
assistance and refuge. So they find it in their faith. They find
it faster, wealthy people because they're a bit intoxicated by their
wealth. They have so they think they're comfortable. They're
confident they don't need that's why in the Quran, Allah says about
the people of New holiday Islam, when they when he called them they
said
what do you say? What do
I not mean? Who like whatever I call out of the loon? Should we
believe in you when it's the lowly people who are followed you?
Lonely people following something doesn't make it wrong.
Right, okay, when lower class people go and eat, maybe you don't
want to go and eat there, I can understand that. But faith is a
different thing. Some people they can't be seen shopping in anything
less than a certain brand. Okay, that's your problem. That's if
that's what you want. But what he's saying is that soon people
are going to be they're already getting tired, they're going to
look for religion. And he's saying that Christianity is no longer
going to provide a viable spiritual model, because they have
diluted the faith. Anything that was complicated, difficult, it's
gone. It's been interpreted away. It's left as a free. It's left as
a feel good religion. For example,
the swine, the pig is harming Christianity, the Bible says so
the, the the New Testament, the Old Testament, the Old Testament
says so.
Right, that swine is it's forbidden flesh. But why do
Christians still have it? So I have a friend who's a Christian.
He's mashallah quite well, well educated in Christianity and
Islam. So I asked him the question. I said, the Bible says,
So how come no Christian follows this? He said, Because I think
it's in the third century, they decided that the dietary laws will
not be implemented. We will not fall
or dietary laws.
So imagine in Islam is the same thing, okay? No dietary laws eat
what you want.
So that was literally just taken out of the religion. What he's
saying is that Christianity has removed anything that's difficult,
that gives the substance to the faith. And now it's just he's
saying basically that churches have nobody, they don't come. In
London, there are so many churches, or church buildings.
Just in one year alone. Few years ago, I read in The Economist that
the year before that 50 churches had been sold, to be made into
offices or palatial homes. But now,
some churches that are trying to survive their big churches like
this, they get maybe 50 people. And during those 50 people are
immigrants, not even the locals. So now what they're doing is he's
saying that most Church organizations are now becoming
relief organizations. They're attracting people and volunteers
by giving relief to people like feeding the poor and such, because
there's no worship element that anybody is attracted to. There's
no practice element that anybody is attracted to. And he's saying
that the Muslims have it. But he also says that even in Islam,
there are people attacking these very same things, to try to dilute
the faith.
And he says, You guys will probably do the same thing, you
you, you will probably follow the same way as the Christians. So
he's telling the Christians, you guys need to get your act
together, because people are going to become Muslim. Otherwise, when
they looking for religion.
It's just they will be they will take our faith if we are, if we
are going to be
demonstrating it in the right way. So let us not be blinded and
intoxicated by the consumerism that is available out there. Get
what you want, but leave that which is in excess and do not do a
Seraph as Allah subhanaw taala has told us.
So now what are you going to do? Finally? I mean, the last point I
will make before there's so many other points, but I'll make one
more point about the intellectual keeping the same thing.
If you're an intellectual, what are you gonna give back to
society?
What is your going to be your contribution? How are you going to
thank Allah for giving you this mind? This brain? This
understanding, this intellect, this diligence, this resolution?
What are you going to give back to Allah? How do you thank Allah for
it?
The way to give thanks and sugar
is by not using it in the wrong way. That's first and foremost.
How can we use the bounties Allah has given us to disobey Him.
That's why Hassan Busey Rahmatullah Lee has a wonderful
estate far. He says, in the O Allah, I seek your refuge.
I seek your forgiveness from that sin that I committed with the very
wealth that you gave me.
I give you something and you use it to disobey me. That feels very
hard.
Allah has given us intellect, ability, and everything else, we
want to make sure that we can use it for the right reason. So number
one, we need to do sugar to Allah, Oh Allah, I must understand that
this is from you. Okay, maybe my father was very intelligent as
well. And maybe my mother was intelligent, and my grandfather
was intelligent. So it runs in the genes, but who made them
intelligent? Who started off your gene process? How did you have
that genome? Why do you have that specific type is because of Allah,
it has to go back to Allah, we must recognize that, that gives us
great contentment because when a person who is Allah, he feels much
more content, this is going to be a topic for tonight's discussion
anyway. About Kadar and reliance on Allah, that's what we're going
to be doing. It's a very important topic of tonight, probably more
important than this discussion. Because it really puts into
perspective, our life, and how we react to the whole thing. It's a
very important discussion tonight. Right? So number one, really,
thanks to Allah, then we want to we number two, we don't want to
use it in the Haram and the wrong. Number three, we want to do
something good with it. Find a way that you can contribute. If you
were here on Friday, for the Friday talk I gave, then you will
already know this, but I'm going to repeat it. How many of you here
when not in the Friday by on I gave.
Oh, so that's the majority so I can repeat it? How many of you
were here? We're in the Joomla. Okay, it's a minority of
Hamdulillah. Because I don't like to say two things twice. I think
it's boring, right? Sometimes you have to repeat things twice.
Anyway.
There's a hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam
related by Imam Ahmed and others in which a Sahaba called Ahmed
Abdul Hamid Radi Allahu Anhu says that my unit Allah who behaved
Iran is that mother who whoever Allah intends good with, wherever
Allah intends
some good for he will use him. Is that mother who is their marketing
stammered Sahaba was surprised. What does that mean? She said Ma
start mother who ya rasool Allah, what does it mean? That he will
use him? Then the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, Allah will
give him the Tofik which basically means Allah will enable you
divinely enable you to do something before your death by
which the people around you will be satisfied with you. So when you
die then inshallah people will make dua for you.
They will say you know that sister Aisha who used to live around the
corner mashallah look at the service she provided, look how
helpful person she was, look at the benefit that she gave to
everybody, brother Ahmed, or use of a Musa it doesn't have to be
Allah ma that can provide service on a MA in a better position to
provide service and to work on the deen because they know the
shortcuts, they know the deals, right? Because they know that
hadith and so on. But you as none of them are who are none other Ma.
Right? Do not think that you cannot become a worthy of Allah.
Do not think that it's only for the aroma. Do not think that you
can also be close to Allah, that you can also provide a service for
the deen, don't let anybody tell you that you cannot do that. You
can do that. And sometimes you can even maybe do it better than some
other even learned people. In London, we had a person in a
particular city when he died, there were more people in his
janazah than many other Aldermen.
Why because he was such a useful person to people, providing them
selfless service with the ability Allah had given. So you as well,
us, if Allah has given us something, we want to use it for
the right reason. Now you must be thinking, how can I do it, I work
in it. Or I'm a housewife, or I'm a taxi driver, or whatever the
case is.
If you can dedicate some of your time, if you develop apps, maybe
there's a nonprofit organization that wants to use your service.
Maybe give them a discount, maybe give them for free. Remember, you
can't your charity doesn't mean you give everything for free.
Because you're not you're not a charity. You need to earn your own
living. So earn a living, earn a good living, but also donate some
of your expertise, some of your intellect to others.
There will be a lot of us who will just be totally confused as to
what can I do.
I don't know how we can help the dean.
Many sisters may feel that way. Feel I'm just the woman in the
house. I don't know what to do.
Right? Some of the brothers will feel this way.
Ask Allah
every day. This was one of the advices from one of my teachers
who I consider to be extremely well accepted, beneficial and
successful. And he told me this 20 years ago, make sure that no day
passes without you performing Torah cuts of Salado Hajah
and doing a DA O Allah apne, Binky. Hickmott Kedia Qubool
Kerlan you do understand, accept me for the service of your
religion, I don't know how I can be of service, I have no idea. Oh
Allah, you accept me
and keep looking. And in sha Allah, Allah will help you it
could be something simple. It could be whatever, just assisting
others assisting neighbors or whatever. Because when we die, is
there going to be anybody to remember us? And to make bar for
us? Let us leave a legacy. If you've got intellect, then why not
leave a legacy. Not to say those people who don't have an intellect
shouldn't leave a legacy. But if you think you've got something,
then you've got more reason to give something back. Don't keep
asking what your dean can do for you. But ask what you can do for
your dean and for humanity.
Right? Ask what you can do. And when you have that kind of
motivation, you will see that our whole outlook, people in
depression, say one of the antidotes to depression is that
you do things for other people. You keep busy. I know somebody in
London. She's a divorcee with four children. And mashallah she just
keeps occupied every day. She's volunteering somewhere. I believe
this is just her way of coping.
If you're having husband and wife problems,
then think of an activity a common activity, social activity that you
can do together to help the masjid help an organization help the
neighbors or whatever it will make you burn together when the profit
and loss and move to Madina Munawwara there were many
different tribes and they had had a lot of inter fighting before
what he did was he got everybody involved in building the Masjid.
So they because you have a common goal, you forget your little petty
problems. If you have been having petty problems with husband or
wife go and do something together and you will start seeing the
successes and so on. You will start making the bonding in sha
Allah. Anywhere I end my talk here
I hope it's been useful. I hope it's raised some reflection in our
mind, because that was the purpose. It wasn't to dictate
anything to you. Right? It wasn't to oblige you to do anything. It
is just to make us think where we are where we want to go. Think
about where you want to be in five years, and then 10 years and then
20 years and live your life accordingly. And make sure you
want to go to Ghana. Make sure you want to please Allah subhanaw
taala and make sure you want to leave a legacy. That's what I can
say JazakAllah hair for turning up today on this Sunday. Brothers and
sisters. I am only here to take your daughter. That's what I'm
here for. So that's what I hope that you make some dua for me and
my family. Right? That's all I hope for right and make dua for
our family and make dua for the Muslim ummah, that Allah subhanaw
taala elevate us. Well here with that one and Al hamdu Lillahi
Rabbil Alameen