Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Absolute Selfless and Blind Love [Hikam 243]
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Rahman Rahim Al Hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah Iraqi neither me nor
salatu salam ala Sayidina Muhammad are the early he your Sufi as you
are in America
in this series of imminent autodialers HECM Rahim Allah
we are on page 110
This is hekman number 243.
This one is a very interesting one in the sense that while he's
speaking about that with regards to a human being an Allah subhanaw
taala
but it actually tells us about
our relationship with others as well. And what purity and
sincerity is. So this is what he says. So Lacell bowhead bola de
origem. In my movie he was on a yet a woman who heard on final
Wahid Berman yet Zulu, like Les Selma Haberman, that Zulu level
and as soon as they translate it, for those of you who have not
understood it yet, you will understand becomes very clear, the
lover, the lover is not the one who hopes for a recompense, a
reward from his beloved
was seek some other objects.
The lover is indeed the one who spends generously on you.
The lover is not the one on whom you spend generously.
I think in other words, what this is saying is that love is
absolutely selfless.
And according to a recent study on one of the most, the greatest
studies on love, seminal study of love that's just been published,
called the thinking Person's Guide to love. over 30 years of
research,
covers everything from the earliest writers to
to now.
Essentially, this is what he says,
Love is absolutely selfless, you love somebody, you that's the only
time you will give up your selfishness, when you are fully in
love with someone.
So, the lover is not the one who hopes for a reward from his
beloved, the reason you're showing love to somebody is you hope to
get something back from them.
Or you seek some kind of object.
The lover is indeed the one who spends generously. The lover is
the one if you if somebody claims to be your lover, they better be
spending on you.
If you claim to love somebody, you better be spending on them, not
expecting them
to spend on you. So be careful of who you say you love. Because then
in fact, I was just reading from
Imam a SHA Ronnie.
He says if you really say you're somebody's proper brother
with full love, then are you willing to give him half of your
possessions.
He says if anybody thinks to your brother test them.
Then after that the commented It says that Be careful to about
testing people. Otherwise, you'll cause a big chaos. First test
yourself isn't.
Because he said this is what the Sahaba did demo are hard with
their true brotherhood was half off. But he says that's a very,
very difficult thing to do.
That's a very difficult for you to be so brotherly and sacrifice and
love for rasool Allah, Allah Subhan Allah that You give half of
your wealth away to your brother, that that's something that as
these in Genesis like very, very difficult, very rare as well. So
don't just read that and then start testing others test yourself
first to see if you fulfill that then maybe others will fulfill
that. So now let's move on to let's move on to the commentary of
this. So he's saying that a lover is not the one who hopes for a
reward from his beloved or seek some other object from him.
So he says that there's there's no doubt that love which is done for
the sake of ulterior motives and other things that can't be
considered proper love, that can be considered proper love. That is
you can just say
a play is just a play that you are displaying to get something to
earn something to receive something.
If you love somebody so that they can give you or they can help you.
They can protect you. Then you're just loving yourself. That's just
love for yourself. Because when you're wanting something from them
or benefit from them for yourself, then this whole thing is love
yourself ultimately, it's not really a love for the other
person. That's quite simple, isn't it? The reason you're showing love
for the other person is to benefit yourself. That means you love
yourself through that person. That's what that's what it is.
Because had it not been for your own selfish motive. You would not
even display your love for that person.
A woman Mohammed or Ruane Radi Allahu I'm says that whoever wants
a recompense or reward, then essentially, eventually When the
time gets tough, when there's a challenge, when there's some
chaotic situation, it will all become clear as to whether there's
true love or not.
He says that if you are hoping for something from who you call your
beloved, then what you're really doing is that you're just a
salesperson. You're a businessman who wants to give so you can get
something back.
You're just a selfish businessman who is only giving because you
know you're gonna get back because a true lover is not to learn FEMA,
habla de se Ed, a true lover is the one who is murders himself,
totally destroys himself for the love of his master. Whoever is
beloved this he doesn't think of anything but how to please His
Beloved. That's why a poet says and this is a bit complicated
metaphorical poem. It says booty and Herbert Island Jody
fellow unsalted Mabu fi he loves so much Lisa, you started with he
hooked me haha, I actually couldn't yet live with that level,
which, essentially saying that love is all based on.
Love is based on oppression.
What does that mean is Love is based on injustice.
It has to be one sided, you claim love. It's going to be one sided.
Don't expect to get a fair treatment from the other side.
If it comes great, but the purpose is I need to be doing more. It's
not just because it's selfless, says if some if the maboob Your
beloved tries to even be just, it's gonna get messed up doesn't
work that way. It'll become ugly and repugnant.
When it's all about love, he says it's not praiseworthy for somebody
to be looking for proofs of His love. It's just so obvious. You
don't anybody who really loves somebody, it's going to be
absolutely obvious, something you cannot hide. So love is something
you cannot hide. You don't have to prove it. It will be in the
action, the proof will be in the pudding as they say.
He says another thing he says that.
Among the etiquette of love or among the reality is not even
etiquette. It's not something that you should be doing. It's
something that shouldn't be happening among the things
to do with real love.
Something you should not do and you can't do. You can never
complain. You can never feel sad
about what the other person is doing. Because your love is
selfless. And
it's not on reciprocation.
You can't have a complaint about your beloved, he's not doing this
for me. She's not doing this for me. He's not doing that for me.
He's not reciprocating.
Even if they abandon you, your love is still there.
I mean, is it worth loving anybody? If love is really like
this? Is it worth loving anybody but Allah
it's probably not worth it.
What is necessary for pure love is you do touch a lot with somebody.
You really tough it out. Absolute patience, steadfastness,
perseverance, on any kind of difficulty that comes any kind of
sensor that comes from your beloved, until finally, you
ultimately receive your ultimate goal.
That's why he says that, in Shaq hotel Howa antamina You're going
to be complaining about love and justice and everything you're not
really people you're not really a person of love.
That there you must have will have a thermometer school. I know that
work. I feel how I couldn't be a painter.
You claim love and then you keep complaining. Love is selfless.
It's one sided.
That's why one poet's who gets the love. He says I'll hug Bodine
fella web but Allah love is my Deen. That is love is it I don't
expect to recompense for it. While this same idea works for everybody
else and for any love you have. But I think we can come we can
conclude one thing is that there's no point in having this kind of
love.
For anybody but Allah because it's just not worth it.
It's not worth it.
So that's why now how do we get that to Allah? How do we get that
kind of love with Allah subhanaw taala
it can only come if he wants it. They can only be if he wants us to
be His lover to be the biller to be the lover right. That's why it
says
The Real Love will be when Allah subhanaw taala takes the slaves
hearts
and purifies it in a way that he does not look at anything else. It
doesn't turn to anything else. It can only come with Allah's
assistance. It can't come otherwise. So Allah will strip
away from us and make it easy for us to totally dismiss anything
else. Except that if ever either fermata Wacol in differ Newcastle
hobo Allah cadre
whenever
there's any distraction from that whenever there's any turning away
from that site glance or anything else then that's how much the love
will decrease.
One person said to his wife
in New York a book I love you, I love what a wife what a wife
also like mashallah, finally, this wife said
what? Kefir, kefir? Well, Khalifa caminho Hiram Mindy, how can you
say that you love me when behind you is somebody much better than
me?
Seems like what's going on here? So he turns around,
he turns around to look
I don't know what he was thinking who she brought for me.
So when Allah
when he turned around, she said, Come back Allah mean Mohammed bin
did that there in Mahabharata Hotel? Definitely.
May Allah disfigure you, may Allah make you ugly, is like just kind
of limit word. He says, What kind of a lover Are you that you claim
love and you're already looking at somebody else?
You shouldn't have even had a doubt.
Like you should have just looked at me and not even anywhere like
it. Could there even be anybody want to test for a test that was
like you shouldn't even move? Like no, I don't care about anybody
else.
So likewise, when a slave is to love his true Master,
or is to complain about anything else or fear anything else besides
his marble, then he is
he is deficient in his love. And
he's just the claimant of it.
And you have to remember many Dharma the Sufi father had to
Shiva, huddling, they had anybody who is fake and who just
insincere, and who claimed something that he doesn't really
have, then eventually the witnesses that come at a test will
will embarrass the person.
That's why then, even artha Illa he says, to explain that, he says
that for him that Wahiba my Yep, to like Lacell bada boom and
Abdullah, the real lover is the one who will spend everything on
you, not the one that you have to spend for. So for that, he says
he will spend his life for you. He will spend everything for you.
Right? That's why Darfur too many ailments.
Death is not something that we hope to get right. We want to live
in this world to do the best that we can. But for a believer when he
does have death, that's supposed to be a gift because finally now
Ya Allah, you've given me permission to get out of this to
come and finally be in your own in your court.
A minute visit is too much Hutch.
That's a mini visit. The ultimate visit is when we die.
If we've done well then we'll go to Allah subhanho wa Taala so for
a believer death is a gift. That's what the prophets of the license
said dark for to LogMeIn means to offer and gift his death because
that's the only way you can get to see Allah subhanaw taala
so then it's the one who is willing to spend himself expend
himself and also his money and anything else related to that he
is just abstain from it is indifferent to it ignores it. Now
obviously that's going to be very difficult to complete, complete
and do properly
unless Allah subhanaw taala assists
Stuart's showering His bounties and assistance.
And Allah subhanaw taala why not? He's already started his side of
the budget, his side of the deal. He gave us existence. If he didn't
give us existence and we didn't exist, we'd never be able to love
him.
So Allah we praise for the fact that he gave gave us existence.
Then after that he's been supporting us. And he's been
feeding us. He's been giving us air and sustenance and he gives
you whatever you want. In fact, he's not just give you what you
want is literally made the whole world for you to go and take
whatever you want and make an effort. And some things are
difficult to come by. Some things are easy to come by, but they're
all for you. Where do I get this from? abroad? Surah Ibrahim, verse
34. Allah says what other committee could Lima sell taboo?
He's given you everything that you ask.
I mean, we have everything at our disposal. We like what does Allah
given us?
Me gave you your existence? Where did you come from? You didn't even
choose to be here. Come on. You must be special, right? Like you
didn't even know you. Were going to come here. And you came into
this world. Allah chose you. There was there were there was a time
when we had utter idle insanity. Hey, no minute, daddy, let me you
could share a myth. Cora hasn't timed come upon a human being when
he was not even something mentioned. There was a mention,
Tony mentioned was in a local muffles in the divine tablet that
there was going to be Ibrahim and sulfur as an adult. And Jimmy and
so on. Nobody knew nobody knew. Maybe our parents wanted, but
finally it came. Right finally we were born. So then Allah so isn't
that Allah I mean, come on, let's think about isn't that Allah. We
didn't even choose to come in he gave us the opportunity to be
here. And then finally get to Paradise.
Then Allah subhanaw taala says verse 29, of swords or Bacara hola
the herder, father. Murphy Lordy, Jamia is the most creative,
everything on the earth for you.
This all proves that the human being is the main focus of this of
this world.
The human being is the main focus on this world, everything is great
for him, because that's why the human being is the one that
subjugates everything and controls everything more than any other,
any other living being.
The fear is that the robots will take over.
In sha Allah, that's not going to happen. sha Allah.
So he says, Well, look, all of this that we're speaking about,
this is only the means of the love. This is only the source
or description of the love of the general people. This is where
their love gets to, to this level.
Remember, there's always stages in this and we always find ourselves
not even on the first stage. Right? If you've been listening to
this enough, you know when we find out this is this is suburb Omaha
but Halawa this much so just to figure this out, to this level
that Allah created me is giving me everything He must love me, he's
created everything in the universe for me, right? I have to make an
effort to get it. It's not going to come to me it's not paradise,
of course, right?
Then he says, a mama habitable house, that the love for the
special people, the more distinguished ones that is going
to be on a different level. He says for her now she had an answer
who the family he was a high that they've gone beyond that totally
acknowledged and absolutely firm on the fact that Allah has created
me and he's behind everything I do, they already know that. They
they firm on that point, they've gone to a higher point.
They love has opened up for them.
The fact that they've really been able to truly experience the
beauty of Allah everywhere. And His Majesty and action everywhere.
They've actually started noticing him
noticing his work, noticing everything he does, because Allah
does everything in this world. But we always look at it from the
apparent we never look at what's really behind it and why it's
happening and who's causing it. These people are those who look at
things, but their mind always goes to Allah that Allah is behind
everything. So they see his beauty and His Majesty and His might and
all of that inaction to such a degree them because they I think
this is the trajectory. This is the way because they see that
everywhere now. They can't focus on anything else.
Because they're so Intune and conscious of Allah and His
attributes in action, that there is nothing else for them because
that's overwhelming. You know, he keeps saying that you should
abstain from everything other than Allah and abstain.
In from the dunya and focus on the hereafter How do you do that? The
only way to do that is to become such a lover of Allah, that you
literally start seeing his effects everywhere.
Now, lovers of people in this world, they see anything connected
to their beloved. And they start respecting that and honoring that
and getting close to that, even though it has nothing to do with
them.
It's a wall in the village of Your Beloved and it's like, Man, this
is a wall in the village of my beloved. She may have touched it
one day.
That moon, she's probably looking at the moon and I'm looking at the
moon from 50 miles away, maybe our gazes meet there it goes crazy
like that.
Right? This is, this is crazy, right? So now
that's all made up because you're just trying to emotionally use any
excuse, but with Allah, it's a reality. His action, beauty,
Majesty is everywhere. He is the one behind everything else.
Everything belongs to him. That's not even a joke. That's not even
fake. That is reality. So imagine if we can get to that, then that
means we're not going to even look at anything else. Then we become
heedless of everything else. That's the only way to get it.
Otherwise, just like we keep saying it. That they feel
horrible. Fisher who did Jamal Liddell get lost
in the witnessing of his beauty
and wonder who he had a rocky Bahai and they'll just completely
start wandering around in his might, in just in his awesome
might, everything around him.
So these are the people who are willing to sell their souls to
look for the Lord. They make a lot of sacrifice. You can't do this
without sacrifice.
In fact, whatever they do, they feel embarrassed have not done
enough. They feel embarrassed that I've not done enough. They never
think they've done enough because how much can you do to fulfill the
right of Allah subhanaw taala because they can they know that
they cannot fulfill what Allah has given them and what Allah has
offered them and what Allah has made for them, and that's
available for them around them.
That's why Abuja Kuba Susi Wilier Allah he says, this is his
experience, right? He says Haqiqa to muhabba a yen sir Hava who mean
Allah way. Enza howa Egea who la vie, going back to the
selflessness aspect, he says that true love is when you even forget
what is supposed to come to you from Allah. You don't care about
what comes to you from Allah, you're just focused on what you're
giving to him. You're just so in love with him. Of course anybody
in love with Allah properties Allah is gonna give them the you
don't even have to worry about that. These people aren't even
ignoring you for that reason that Oh, I don't have to worry is I
don't even think about that. I'm just thinking of me what I need to
do. What's my sacrifice? We answer Ha Ha hoo ha Hee. And they forget
about all of their needs of Allah because they're just so focused on
something else that even forget their needs. You know, when you
are so engrossed in something you forget about eating for that day.
You forget about
your other tasks.
Sheikh Ahmed Hassan Rouhani hola Juan said el Mahi boil have pico
de Manila soltana Allah Kobe he delayed removing the true lover is
in reality is the one who has no pressure, no weight of anything
other than Allah subhanaw taala on him for other than His Beloved.
And he has no other desire except to fulfill the desire of Allah
subhanaw taala
now
what Allah will first tell a person if they want to love him if
we want to love Allah subhanaw taala and payments man loving
season not It's not it doesn't sound easy anyway but anything
Allah can make easy so that's what I'm saying. The first thing that
Allah subhanaw taala will tell us seven upload will Alfia well Jana
will amor was a rhetoric. This is the road you start off with first
look for wellbeing and safety from all of these firearms and things
like that and look for well being in terms of your Sharia, look for
Jana do your actions and look for and all of these other things.
Right.
Now, this is where Allah will test you. And if somebody says to this
that no, that's not what I want anymore. I heard enough of
thinking about Janna I've had enough of thinking about just
Atmel and just being safe. Now I actually want you
I'm not satisfied with that anymore. I want something higher I
want you
know, what do you do? Allah and
then Allah subhanho wa Taala will say
that look, mandala fie had marry for in the Maya yet who will be
spouting Hello.
Anybody who wants to come to that point and to that level, then the
only way you can come to that level is by dropping all of your
other desires, all of your desires is absolute annihilation. Absolute
selflessness.
Rough ill who do is battle cudham. That just means that there is
nothing but Allah for you.
So this is not an easy thing. Emerald emerald Mahabodhi kabhi
were buffalo hotties.
It is a really big thing to claim this. But as I said, we Allah can
make anything easy. Allah can make anything easy, and may Allah make
it easy. And he says, the only person that can actually jump into
this ocean and get across is the one who's willing to make a lot of
sacrifices and sacrifice himself in the sense that he doesn't care
about his own comforts anymore.
In Tune it was Lana family took a shot on
Lionel when we saw them and fee he fought the law.
If you want to come to us and you want to connect with us, Allah is
saying Your death is necessary.
That doesn't mean you're gonna kill yourself. It means that you
kill all of your desires.
May Allah subhanaw taala makes this easy. I know its sounds
extremely difficult, impossible, needy? How are we going to get
this? But if we didn't even know that such a stage exist, such an
idea is the that is what it is. Ultimately, this is the state of
the Prophet salallahu Salam, this is exactly how he doesn't care
about anything else. If we don't even know that we don't even know
that there's something to aspire to. So Johanna little ignorances
was keeping us behind.
Okay, so we've learned this, it sounds so difficult. I don't know
when I'm going to do this, but at least is planted a seed in our
hearts. At least it's something I might think is impossible, but at
least I'm wishing for in one day.
Did we even wish for something like that before we didn't because
we didn't even know about it unless you did. So the benefit of,
of knowledge is that it might not affect us straightaway because
it's difficult to change your life straightaway. But the more we
learn about this, the more that the seed grows, it germinates it
develops, the more we listen to it, the more it reinforces and
then ultimately we get somewhere if we don't get 100% We'll get
50% 70% 30% but at least is better than not knowing and being
satisfied by thinking we're praying five times a day
hopefully. Which is a great thing but there's a lot more to life
because the hereafter is abundant. Allah is infinite. And the
hereafter is forever
May Allah subhanaw taala give us the Tofik
allotment to sell them on them because salon gathering generally
really long me or hate me. I'll take your medical history. Yeah,
have you have it? Yes after a few years.
Yeah, Lottie cheddar, everybody Cron. Lahoma, Karina Allahumma
Fabiana Hola, hola, Finland, fildena or Hamner? Where if you
know what I was talking to Allah have mercy on us. Yeah, Allah
accept us. Yeah, Allah. Grant us your love and the love of those
whose love will benefit us with you of Allah facilitate this path
for us. Oh Allah, we sit here today. Online your Masjid
discussing your love of Allah grant us your love and our Allah
before we die, allow us to be prepared to meet you. Oh Allah
make our lives the way you want us to be the way you would like us to
be the way you have commanded us to be. Our Allah we try. We start
off in the morning. But we fail by the evening. We start off in the
evening again, we fail by the morning we have so many
distractions. We have so many things to mislead us. We are
engaged in so much we have become so busy. And we have
been so distracted. Yeah Allah forgive us for our distractions
and for our transgressions and for our laziness, for our delay, for
procrastination for our sins and our violations are Allah only you
can forgive us on the you can forgive us. O Allah grant us
beneficial knowledge and allow us to follow it. Allow us to see the
truth as the truth and allow us to follow it to see the wrong as the
wrong and allow us to abstain from it. Oh Allah things are so
confusing today. Oh Allah things are so confusing today. Oh Allah
protect us, our families and our children. And keep this keep this
story.
Keep the love of your messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa
salam in our family and progeny and to the dear judgment. Don't
let any of them ever be distracted from this. Oh Allah you have
blessed us with iman and the Kadima La Ilaha illa Allah and the
love of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa salam, O Allah we sent send
abundant blessings on him on our behalf. And Allah allow us to
continue to send blessings on him allow us to drink from his hands
in the hereafter.
Allow us to be interceded by him, allow us to be in his company and
allow us to constantly be his followers and his lovers and his
constantly his followers those who are willing to sacrifice
themselves for his love of Allah accept from all of us, our likes
from all of us, and bless everyone here and forgive us all and our
families and allow us to be accepted for some kind of service
of your deen. So Hannah, Rebecca rhombi Larissa Tian is ephone wa
salam ala l Mursaleen. Al hamdu, Lillahi Rabbil aalameen.
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