Abdullah Oduro – Motivation Is Overrated. HereS Why – Iman Cave
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As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
How's everyone doing out there?
I'm Abdullah Oduro and welcome to the Iman
Cave, where we discuss issues of male excellence
while being grounded in faith.
I never thought that I would finish.
I never completed anything in my life.
This is what was told to me by
a dear friend of mine when he and
I completed our graduation studies at the University
of Al Medina.
And I was rather surprised to hear from
him because everyone knew him as a good
student, which he was and is, mashallah.
But him saying that really hit me because
he was capitalizing on the fact that he
would always switch off and do different things
and would never complete something in his life.
So when he graduated from a prestigious Islamic
university, some would call the Harvard of Islamic
universities.
I hope those from al-Azhar and, mashallah,
the schools don't get at me.
But alhamdulillah, it was very touching to me
because it shows the importance of someone that
does consistent acts of control to reach a
desired goal.
What do I mean by that?
They're consistently going through studying, in this particular
case, studying the Arabic language.
Okay, now you have the Arabic language.
You're going into the Quliyat al-Sharia or
al-Hadith.
You're going to the College of Hadith or
whatever college it is or college in general.
And there will be times where you feel
that you can't make it, that you're not
going to pass, that you're not going to
give it your best.
Shaytan will come to you.
That characteristic that I'm talking about that gets
any individual through, whether it's in school, whether
it's at work, whether it's through a marriage,
is none other than discipline.
Discipline, discipline, discipline.
And that's how I defined it earlier, consistent
acts of control to reach a desired goal.
We're going to talk about that today, why
discipline is important in the life of a
man and how without it, the man will
not be successful.
Today we have, mashallah, to my right, many
of you know him, Yahya Talib, alhamdulillah.
He is an engineer and whatever I want
to call him.
When I asked him, are you an engineer?
He said, yeah, whatever you want to call
me, just whatever you want to call me,
mashallah.
The last name Talib, mashallah, means that he
is searching and always studying.
And you can clearly see that in the
previous episodes that he's always asking very good
questions, the questions that you may have been
asking.
And if there are questions that you ask,
don't forget to put them in the comments.
We have one of our last year's guests
here, mashallah, brother Tamam Ilwan Bikasra.
Ilwan, no?
Tamam Ilwan, he is the director of development
for Yaqeen Institute, where here we dismantle doubts
one truth at a time.
Don't forget to donate.
No, I'm just joking, mashallah.
No, Tamam Ilwan, mashallah, he's the one that,
if you are going to donate, he's probably
the one that you would talk to, alhamdulillah
bi'l-alameen.
He's loved here in the office, alhamdulillah bi
'l-alameen.
And he is someone that is very, very
disciplined.
Those of you that know, internally with Yaqeen
and out, if you were to know him,
mashallah, he's a disciplined brother and he is
an exemplar.
Therefore, we're going to have a very fruitful,
enriching and educational conversation on this topic.
So when we talk about this word, subject
matter, very important pillar of a man's life,
and even of a woman's life, of the
human being's life of discipline, we mentioned it's
consistent acts of control to reach a desired
goal.
Islam, subhanAllah, talks about it.
And rather, one's Islam is predicated upon it.
Because there are certain pillars in Islam that
if one does not perform it, then to
a certain degree, internally and externally, it could
be controversial or contradicting to their faith or
compromising the very fabric of their faith.
One of them being the salah.
Which, by the way, for young men in
particular, is a huge challenge.
You know, young men, 16, 17, 18 years
old, you know, waking up for salat al
-fajr, even though they stayed up at 2,
3 a.m. in the morning, mom and
dad is waking them up, and they're not
waking up.
And they wake up until the sun comes
up.
Mom gets exhausted.
Single mom gets exhausted from trying to wake
her 16, 17-year-old son up.
And he wakes up when he wants to.
And just to be totally honest, that is
generally from the effects of shaitan that he
keeps you from waking up from salat al
-fajr.
When we hear the word discipline, both of
you gentlemen, what comes to your mind?
Allah gave us Islam as a lifestyle.
A lot of people like to compare it
to other religions, but it doesn't do Islam
justice.
Islam in itself is a lifestyle.
It's not just, you know, praying your five
or fasting Ramadan.
It's a complete blueprint.
Without this blueprint, you have to pretty much
figure it out from the start.
So a lot of times when I think
of discipline, I think of people who don't
have it.
And I like to say, okay, this is
someone who doesn't have discipline, and I try
to compare it to someone who does.
And the difference is exactly like somebody who's
building something off of a blueprint and somebody
who doesn't have one trying to figure it
out from the start.
And a lot of times, you see, if
you don't have that blueprint, you're running into
mistakes, problems, and you never sometimes figure it
out.
And those who are smart enough to figure
it out only find out so later on
that whoever had it initially, whoever has the
blueprint initially, has already surpassed him, you know,
years in advance.
Fajr, for example, for me personally, that's been
key to success.
When I wake up and I pray Fajr
on time, my day is going to be
good.
No matter what comes down, I hit my
first prayer, I woke up strong, and subhanAllah,
there's barakah in the morning.
And all these small things add up.
We don't think about them, but that's why
there's a blueprint.
So when you're given a blueprint, you don't
have to think about the details because they've
already been thought out for you.
SubhanAllah, the Creator, He's the one that's thought
out all of this, and He's given you
these blueprints.
So for me, discipline is the blueprint for
this life.
The first hadith that comes to mind is
إنما العلم بالتعلم وإنما الحلم بالتحلم That if
you have a goal, because you need a
goal for discipline, right?
Otherwise, you're just going to be moving, you're
not going to have something that you're aiming
towards.
If your goal is knowledge, then Nabi SAW
says, you have to do تعلم, this reflexive
verb.
You have to exert energy, and you have
to have focus, and you have to have
consistent behavior and action towards it.
And if your goal is a behavioral change,
like forbearance, like being in control of your
anger, for example, then you have to do
that as well.
And for me, the first story I can
think of in my life that demonstrated discipline
was when I was younger, in the Metro
Detroit area.
How old were you?
I was in elementary school.
When it comes to goals and stuff, you
have two major categories.
Sometimes it's تخلية You're trying to get rid
of bad habits, right?
And so you want to be disciplined about
that.
Sometimes it's تحلية You want to add something
positive.
So for me, it's تخلية.
I used to, unfortunately, swear a lot as
an elementary school student.
I don't know where I learned it from,
but I mean, I used to swear a
lot.
استغفر الله العظيم And eventually when I got
to middle school, I was like, I need
to get rid of this habit.
What happened?
What like did you, what happened when you,
did someone, old auntie say, watch your mouth.
لا تستحل وجهك Was there something like that?
I don't think that's what it was.
I think it was a realization that I
don't want to continue living my life this
way, where my word choices are displeasing to
Allah.
I want to fix myself.
It was like a character building.
I don't remember all the details, but I
remember that I had a strong desire in
myself that I want to change.
What was the first course of action?
So I had a non-Muslim teacher and
he was, he was giving us American history
as a class.
And I remember him talking about Benjamin Franklin.
So not a Muslim, one of the founding
fathers of this country.
And he talked about his habits and how
he would use a piece of paper and
just write down the positive habits that he
wanted to have and the negative habits he
would write it down and just like have
a sort of محاسبة and مراقبة of himself,
basically watching himself and taking himself to account.
Ben Franklin.
Yeah.
Stuck for a while.
I know, stuck for a while.
Yes, that's his.
The Yemeni thinking.
The Yemeni to do it.
No, I'm saying that because, again, discipline is
not only confined to Muslims and Islam.
True.
And you can take that from someone that
has those good qualities.
Even though with him, there are some baddest.
Oh, yeah.
And those, but we don't take the bad.
But recognizing that, SubhanAllah, there will be people
that don't have the faith, don't have the
Iman, but they still have those disciplinary qualities
and it's because of something that is fitri.
It's something that is innate, natural disposition, predisposition
that is there.
But I love just to interject when you
continue how you mentioned that Hadith because the
Prophet of Islam said, وَإِنَّ مَنْ عِلْمُ بِالتَّعَلُّمْ
وَإِنَّ مَنْ عِلْمُ بِالتَّحَلُّمْ that he said, Verily,
knowledge comes with study and verily, forbearance comes
with practicing it and being forbearing.
You know, that verb, تفعَل, is literally, inherently,
a verb that expresses consistency.
When you look in morphology, تفعَل, it means
استمرار على شيء.
Right?
You continuously doing that.
And that's that Hadith that's so beautiful, which
shows within our religion, even the fabric of
the Arabic language expresses and takes into importance
consistently doing something to reach somewhere.
And that is discipline.
Go ahead.
So, Benjamin Franklin.
Yeah.
So, Stuff it a lot.
It's the truth.
So, I had a piece of paper.
Again, and I remember putting the squares in
for like days of the week and having
a pencil, a small pencil and a piece
of paper that I kept in my pocket
all day.
And every time I would swear, I would
pull it out and I would tally that,
okay, that's one.
And then after one day, let's say I
had, I don't remember the numbers, but let's
say I swore like 35 times.
Then the next day, I would be like,
okay, I want to do better.
So, maybe 33 or 31 or 32 and
gradually in this way.
It wasn't like cold turkey suddenly.
It was a day-by-day plan.
It was very slow and very gradual because,
I mean, I think that's the nature of
discipline.
Right?
We want instant gratification these days.
We want to just push a button, it's
at our door.
Suddenly, you know, things just happen.
But if you want to achieve greatness, you
want to make serious changes in your life,
whether it's in terms of knowledge or in
terms of personal practice or character, it's a
lot of hard work.
And I remember, I can still remember that
first day where I was like, wow, none.
It's a blank page.
What kept you going?
Because, man, every time that word came out,
you were ready to just pull it out
no matter what, just write it down, mark
it and mark it.
And you kept going until there was nothing
left.
So, obviously, the system that you used worked.
But what in you allowed you to keep
going all the way until you were successful?
I don't know.
I mean, that's a good question.
Like you said, Sheikh Ta'azim, but I
think I wanted to succeed.
I wanted to check off the box of
like, hey, I'm done with this.
And I just kept thinking about that goal.
I'm thinking of myself in the modern, like
nowadays, and basically superimposing it or just juxtaposing
it on the past.
And so I don't remember all the past,
but I think that's what it was because
that's what drives me these days.
I'm like, hey, I want to make this
change in my life.
I want this habit.
I just keep looking at the end goal,
that end vision for myself.
And that's what drives me.
And see, I guess to kind of ornament
that is, you know, this is what differentiates
the Muslim, man, because I am automatically assuming
and knowing, not even assuming, I'm knowing that
you want to stop cursing for God.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, of course.
Right?
No, I'm just saying, that's the subconscious spiritual
element that is present within every Muslim, every
religious person.
Let's be fair.
The unspoken kind of like why?
Right, right.
So when we talk about purpose and you're
here within these movements, the man must have
purpose.
The Muslim man's purpose is much more transcendent
because it is for Allah.
And you can have both of them.
You can say, okay, I want to stop
cursing because my mom doesn't like it.
Number one, it's very immoral.
Number two, it's dirty language.
It seems very, very uneducated.
Number three, but initially it's because Allah Subh
'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la is not pleased
with it.
It's an immoral practice.
So even though he says, looking at the
end of the tunnel, we know the big,
the bigger picture is ultimately that.
And that's why SubhanAllah, the disciplined Muslim, particularly
as someone that is, it's a very honorable
position because you could be disciplined in something
that is bad.
That's true.
Yeah, that's true.
You could be disciplined in something that is
bad.
So, yeah, go ahead.
I just remembered, SubhanAllah, like in college, I
went to a university that was pretty large.
It was known as being like a party
school.
You know, I remember maybe 60,000 undergraduates
and graduate students.
Like it was a huge school.
And I remember just shortly after moving there
and I didn't want to be in the
dorms because of the environment.
Of course.
Actually, one of the prominent local Muslim brothers,
he was the reason that allowed Muslims not
to stay in the dorms the first year.
To stay away from alcohol and the partying
and the drugs and whatnot.
And I remember being with my, you know,
three Muslim roommates, like in the very first
few weeks, there was a party next door.
And them knocking on our door and saying,
come on, come, come, come.
And we're like, we don't drink, we don't
want to party.
You don't have to drink, just be in
it.
We're like, no, we don't even want to
be in that environment.
And I remember like, and this relates to
discipline, having that brotherhood as men is so
important.
Having those brothers who are like, hey, you
know what, I'm with you, we're not going
to engage in that.
And I remember, subhanAllah, after four years of
undergrad and one year was studying abroad but
still four years, I remember people coming back
to me and saying, you know what, you
stayed away from it and I really messed
up.
I have so much respect for you for
doing that.
And that's from, tawfiq from Allah.
We're not going to pass this up.
It's not going to please some people but
we're here to give the message of Islam.
This is the religion, Allah's religion, not our
religion.
Dorm life.
Would you advise it?
I'm not going to ask a general question,
I'm going to dig a little deeper.
You mentioned that you were in, you said
there was some prominent Muslim figure that advised
students not to go in the dorms?
No, he worked with the university.
Some schools are mandatory.
I think I can say it.
You don't have to, you don't have to.
He basically worked with the university to allow
Muslims to not be forced to live in
the dorms the first year of undergrad.
Because usually my university, my alma mater, they
said you have to live because we want
you to be engaged in student life and
integrated into it.
That's what I was going to say, some
schools it's a required thing for freshmen to
be in this environment.
May Allah bless him.
He's a man of so much good.
May Allah bless him.
And so we were given the dispensation, if
you will, to avoid that and that excuse.
And so we went to an apartment complex
that was nearby campus.
That foundation had to have been there, right?
Because that particularly in college, let's just say
for those that go to the dorm, that
live in the dorm.
Me personally, I wouldn't advise it, to live
in a dorm, it's just too much pressure,
man.
I mean testosterone is going through the roof,
right?
And you're around Muslims and non-Muslims, let's
keep it real, that are not doing moral
things.
For that is like, okay, Friday night, school's
out, let's party, you got friends that are
drinking, okay, no, you don't have to drink,
it's all right, man, just come on, bro.
That takes a high level of discipline at
that moment, especially if those other Muslim friends
would have went.
Yes, agreed.
And that's a big thing, by the way.
A lot of times, صاحب صاحب.
You're Wesley, translate.
Yeah.
A friend, the friend is who pulls you.
Your friends pull you.
No matter how strong you are, it's like
a stream.
Once you get in, no matter how strong
you think you can be, that stream is
going to pull you eventually.
So if you're going to stand against a
stream, you have to be careful, where is
that stream going?
You got to have some rock to hold
on to, to keep you from.
And even the rocks, if you're in the
wrong stream, the rock is going to get
smaller and smaller, not going to be able
to protect you anymore.
And that's something my dad told me.
Because he would always tell me, I would
tell my dad, mama, come on, you know
who we are, me and my brother, and
our friends, we're good guys, we know who
we are.
He's like, yeah, I know you guys are
good guys, but you don't know how bad
this place is.
You don't know how bad this environment is.
He was giving me these examples, and that
was one of them.
And I just stayed quiet after.
I was like, man, you could be in
a dorm, because I was going to bring
the question.
Some brothers are forced, unfortunately.
They're coming from overseas.
They have no place to live.
They don't know the system.
They don't even know to go to another
apartment complex and get another place.
So they're forced to be in this dorm.
So for them, there is really no option.
So it goes down to, what can you
do in the environment that you're in?
I feel like that's the root of discipline.
Yeah, man.
I think, man, in these environments, you have
to be ready.
And you know, wallahi, when I became a
Muslim, you know, a hadith was so comforting
to me, even though there's different different understandings
of the hadith, and they're all sahih, inshallah
ta'ala.
The hadith, tuuba lil huraba.
Oh, no.
Yeah, I love that hadith.
Right?
So glad, or different understandings of what tuuba
is, excuse me.
Any glad tidings for the strangers, or tuuba
can be known as the tree in Jannah.
Right.
For those that are the huraba, that are
the strangers.
And some would say strangers, when it comes
to immorality, your morals seems very strange to
people.
Therefore you're outcasted.
Or strangers because of your faith, because of
your aqeedah, because of your purpose, again.
So here, you know, I've seen both cases,
man.
I mean, I remember when I was in
school, you find the guy, there was one
guy, man, we didn't like him because he
could grow his beard.
In high school, we wanted to grow our
beard.
Oh, yeah.
I wasn't, we were like, man, his name
was Ahmed.
We didn't like, he was cool, but we
just didn't like him because he had the
dispensation to grow his beard.
Right?
And he was never involved in all the
foolishness that we would get into.
But he was strange to us.
Right?
But he was strange to a degree that
we didn't want to like hang around him.
Right.
You're almost afraid of what was going on.
Maybe, but the thing is, is like, look,
you have to be ready to be strange
to people.
It's going to be those awkward moments, those
couple of five seconds.
No, bro, it's okay.
No, no, it's okay.
You know, one of those like, you're not
from us.
It's all right.
You know, you know, say your name again.
What?
What?
Yeah.
those moments, you as a Muslim, it's important
that the parents, especially the fathers, tell them,
you say your name with pride.
Like they're not going to understand it.
And that's totally fine.
They're not your reckoner.
You know, they're not the ones that are
your ultimate judge.
So being from discipline is that you're not
going to please people, which leads to the
fact that which coincides with all this with
dorms and friends and you may have this
friend since elementary school, you know, but your
friends, mom and dad got a divorce.
And, you know, he's trying to find some
comfort somewhere or maybe didn't get a divorce,
but he still has some vodka.
He has some energy that he wants to
let out in this way.
Yep.
He wants to be cool.
He wants to be relevant to this particular
person or that particular girl.
But you are not going that way.
So realizing which are disciplined with your power
of saying no, you may lose that friend.
And that is a huge part of masculinity,
bro.
That's a huge part of mass.
You're willing to lose friends for your principles.
You know what I mean?
That's huge.
Like with the dorm life or with the
one that's, you know, the brother that's foreign
and barely understands English.
And, you know, I have to figure it
out.
He has to figure it out.
But because of his solid foundation, you know,
he's like, I mean, honey, Mr. Bahram and
the Michigan, like they can go drink the
sea.
I don't care what they do.
Well, he doesn't like me.
That's fine.
I know as long as I'm doing the
right thing, Allah Al-Haseeb.
He knows the name of Allah Al-Haseeb.
He knows it.
So what's the trick?
How do you make that?
How do you let that, you know, burst
of energy turn from a small, temporary little
burst into a long-term plan that can
take you further and help you achieve your
goals?
So the trick is that there's no trick.
I remember I was taking some courses at
Stanford University's Graduate School of Business, and Dr.
Jeffrey Pfeffer, I like some of his books,
he was giving us a class, and he
was telling us, he's like, look, I've consulted
for, you know, multinational, billion-dollar corporations.
And every time they have their retreats, they
want to go to Hawaii, they want to
listen to some music, hear the drums, dress
up in different things, put cucumbers on their
eyes and whatnot, and they think this is
going to like engage productivity.
And he's like, and nobody wants to hear
what I have to say, but research shows
that it's not exciting.
How you actually are successful, even these huge
companies are, and these are literally the examples
he mentioned.
He said, taking meeting minutes, writing down action
items, in your next meeting, just following up,
did I do this, did I not do
this?
He's like, they're simple things, but people don't
want to do the daily work.
They don't want to put in the grind.
And so I think discipline, it's, you know,
when you think about it, yeah, you're right,
motivation is that little spark, but discipline is
like, it's black and white.
I mean, I don't want to work out,
but I'm going to do it because today
I wrote down that I'm going to work
out and so I'm going to go there.
I don't want to go on a walk,
but I'm going to do it.
You know, it's even deep, man.
It's, you know, there's one statement I have,
it said motivation, you know, motivation moves you.
Motivation moves you.
Discipline proves you.
Allah.
Yeah.
You get started, you know, like I said,
so while you're moving on, you know, you're
going, um, but discipline is what is consistent
over a period of time.
And like you say, which is, which is
deep.
Now, I want you to get this.
I love like working out, going to the
gym, right?
But working out itself can be a distraction.
How?
Because that at a point can be, uh,
uh, not as important as an obligation that
you have.
Yep.
So for instance, so for instance, you know,
you're going, you know, your friends, let's go
to the gym, man, you know, I'm motivated,
you know, I just saw a video of
whatever and I want to go work out.
Uh, we'll meet at 2 p.m. Right?
Also comes in at 4 p.m. And
then you have a meeting at 4 30
with your guidance counselor on zoom.
So 2 p.m. Comes around, you work
out with your friend to two or just
fine.
But then now it's, it's three 57 and
you're still working out with your friend.
Now it has become a distraction.
Now it is.
Now you're, you're acting, you're not acting disciplined
here because when you're disciplined, you'll stop because
you have to pray officer and then you
have a meeting, which means you got to
stop working out with your friend.
You got to go home and take a
shower, make Salah because you have a meeting,
but instead I'll delay officer and then right
when I get home, I'll get on the
zoom, all looking all tired and, you know,
whatever the case is.
So now you're slowly trickling away at the
actions of a disciplined person.
So something that may even be Halal in
essence can be an, a practice of lack
of disciplines.
And that's where subhanAllah, you know, as in
this curriculum that I have is talking about
like the phases of discipline.
The first thing is something across your path
and you'll see it.
Do you respond to it?
Like we were talking about, you were thinking
we're going to talk about, um, what is
it called?
* scrolling?
What is it called?
A doom scrolling, doom scrolling, right?
Doom scrolling is where you just scroll, scroll
down.
Now all these websites are endlessly, right?
And they do that on purpose because, you
know, there's thousands of engineers behind the screens
that want you to be distracted so you
can buy their products or give them your
attention.
Social media, their number one commodity is your
attention, right?
That's why these companies, you know, pay these
social media outlets to, to where you can
be seen in front of them.
So, you know, you'll scroll and you'll look
and you'll just lose yourself.
And that is one of the easiest ways
to, to lead to not having any discipline.
So when you do those particular things, it
comes in front of you.
Do you respond to it?
If you respond to it, now you're going
into another world and you're leaving off that
world of deep work or that which is
more of a priority over this.
I think that's important as well for a
man to realize, okay, discipline.
I think the first thing of discipline is,
is azam, determination.
Right.
And in Islam, subhanallah, the hadith, innamal amalo
bin niyat.
You have to have the intention.
You know, the scholars, when they talk about
niyat, there's a book, two volumes by Salah
Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam on niyat itself.
It talks about that there's stages of niyat,
right?
That there's ham, then there's azam.
Like there is, you just have the inclination
that you want to do something.
But then azam, you reach to the level
of azam, there's like five stages.
There's a stage of azam, determination.
That's what we call the five prophets, ulul.
Azam.
Azam.
Because they were determined, nothing was going to
stop them.
Why?
Because their foundation was with Allah.
Subhanallah.
And I think that relates to purpose, which
you started out with.
If your purpose is pleasing Allah, then it's
going to be manifest in the discipline you
have, whether that's cutting off friends who are
like, taking you away from what pleases Allah,
subhanallah, or getting up and forcing yourself to
do that.
Forcing yourself to stop some things and forcing
yourself to start some things.
Yes, subhanallah.
And that's why, with the statement of Umar
ibn al-Khattab, حَاسِبُوا أَنفُسَكَمْ قَبْلَنْتُحَاسَبُوا وَزِنُوا
أَعْمَالَكُمْ قَبْلَنْتُزَنُوا Hold yourselves accountable before you'll be
held accountable.
Like what you were doing with the, I
wish you had those, did you keep them
at all?
No, no.
That's a good memoir.
That's awesome.
In today's world, with so many distractions, you
just can't.
And I wanted to bring something to your
attention.
As a person, as a human, as a
man, whatever, you have a, you know, a
little, almost like a storage of how much
attention you have throughout the day.
And your attention will deplete no matter who
you are.
The most successful will tell you and the
least, everyone has a capacity, no matter how
successful you have a capacity.
So when that notification pops up, you have
now volunteered to give away some of that
attention towards something else.
So I think a part of discipline is
having a meter on that.
It's like okay, I'm almost out for the
day.
I'm almost fried.
I'm all day working, working and I've been
scrolling through for two hours.
I can't get back to work.
I wasted like two hours of my brain
towards this.
So where do you start?
Where do you stop?
I mean there's books on this.
There's what is it?
Willpower by Baumeister.
It's a book of willpower.
It's probably one of the most famous books
on discipline and willpower.
And even also The Willpower Instinct by Katie
McLonagle talking about how you have only a
certain amount of energy throughout the day.
And they call that glucose.
Your glucose will deplete throughout the day.
And this was hard for me to understand
because I'm about to open a subject matter
that's tied to this.
So you need to do what's most important
at the beginning of the day.
Yes.
Right?
Yes.
But then when they talk about glucose depletion
what about us as Muslims with fasting?
If we fast if we look at that
observation we say okay if you're fasting then
you're prone to be undisciplined because your glucose
is low.
Is low.
Right?
But then it hit me and Allaho Aadam
it's that when your glucose is low that
in itself is the Jihad.
You know when you're fasting you may not
have as much energy to read or to
do this and to that but staying focused
while fasting and not letting gluttony which is
the total opposite overtake you that is where
it comes to where you're able to really
guide and hold and to control and hold
it by the reins yourself your inner self
the one that wants to do that which
may not be fitting or particularly if you're
fasting you may get grumpy.
You know you may get those griefs and
that's why SubhanAllah Hadith of the Prophet Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam إِذَا سَابَهُ أَحْدٌ أَوْ شَتَمَةٌ فَيَقُولُ
إِنِّي صَعِمُ Right?
If someone was to curse him or to
you know to speak badly evil to him
then they just say to themselves really I'm
fasting fasting you gotta be focused you know
what I mean?
That's why a lot of times if you
see a lot of men that are men
fasting just from morning to evening he didn't
time block it he didn't schedule it That's
a gift but to be fair okay but
to be fair that is what people would
call obsessed not negatively speaking you know like
the ones that are disciplinary he's obsessed that's
a blessing some would say it's not but
that's a blessing he's obsessed with it that's
like another level right?
But like for the beginner or someone that's
trying to get into the whole habit of
discipline I don't personally schedule a lot of
things that I do throughout the day that
are important yeah that are important to me
but when my day starts I think of
what I'm going to do because there has
to be a little bit of flexibility or
buffer if you will in terms of time
otherwise what happens is if we're constantly tripping
up and oh you know I scheduled it
and I missed it I scheduled it and
I missed it for me personally what ends
up happening is I look at my day
and I'm like wow I just keep missing
things so you start to I don't know
for me it opens up the door for
negative self talk of like you know I
keep missing things but rather let's say for
example exercise I don't have a particular time
that I do it but I know I
have to do it this day so sometimes
subhanAllah it'll be early in the morning sometimes
life happens and it'll be in the afternoon
sometimes before bed but I know that I
have to do it and with a lot
of the challenges that local brothers do here
in the area mashallah where we challenge each
other either they're related to exercise or Quran
or ibadat or different things we say by
midnight so if you do it earlier in
the morning or later in the afternoon but
if you procrastinate until 11.30pm you're not
going to finish it and so I think
it depends on personality and everyone has to
find out what works for them hey if
putting it putting you know these are the
45 minutes I'm going to exercise that works
for you khair wa baraka for some people
if they want that flexibility that works but
get it done right there okay get it
done 11.30 you haven't done your workout
what internally is taking place inside of you
to where you're going to get up and
go do it wow that's a good question
this happened a few days ago talk to
us man this was on Sunday it was
Eid subhanallah okay and subhanallah just such a
busy day and going to people's houses and
celebrations and different things and then late at
night I was like I haven't done my
workout for today yet okay and I can't
explain to you what it was but something
inside of me was like I'm going to
go alhamdulillah I have it's in my garage
so it's not I don't have to go
anywhere but just getting dressed and walking there
and I was like I have to do
this and I just I was like you
know what these are how many sets I
have to do I had five sets of
different exercises and I was like I'm just
going to knock them off one by one
and on my app just check it off
did you like it while you were doing
it no I didn't you did not no
he didn't like it while he was doing
it no I didn't like it but I
knew it had to be done why did
it have to be done because my body's
an imanah it's not my it's not my
body my choice right it's Allah it's Allah
who owns our bodies and he's no pun
intended he's the one no I say it
purposefully because because we have to get out
of that mindset no pun intended okay we
have to get out of that mindset I
agree that oh it's my own my own
time my own money my own energy that
I'm expending and no again if you have
purpose then your purpose is to please Allah
and you're going to invest in it at
the expense of your desires yes and that
is an Islamic concept as well like you
don't we don't rely on and you know
embellish based on our desires alone it has
to be something that you know jihad in
terms of goals I was discussing this with
a few brothers in the past week and
we were meeting and discussing our goals because
again you have that accountability the brotherhood so
you have a group it's so important you
have a little cave I'm in several different
groups actually with different goals yeah I highly
recommend that you know when we started we
were I think all saying the beginning of
surah Taha where Musa he's talking about Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala making it easy for
him to speak to the tyrant Firaun but
as we know he says وَجْعَلْ لِي وَزِيرًا
مِنْ أَهْلِي هَارُونَ أَخِي أُشْدُدُ بِهِ أَزْرِي augment
my strength through him like make me stronger
through him and so he recognized that عليه
السلام and it's something that we have to
recognize as well it doesn't mean you make
excuses of like oh I don't have that
positive group create that positive group in your
life go search out for those brothers and
tell them hey I want to start going
to the masjid for fajr and I'm struggling
with it so let's have that phone tree
we used to do that when we were
younger right call each other you need a
ride have someone pick you up if you
want to have those positive habits in your
life surround yourself with those people and in
terms of goals so what we were discussing
was the goal itself the particulars are not
as important as setting a goal so some
of us we might be like well I
don't know what I want to do for
my career alright what do you think you
want to do right now I think I
want to be an engineer for example alright
what are the classes you need to take
who are the mentors you need to have
in your life what are the extracurriculars you
need to do in college to get a
job that like meets your expectations two years
down the line you change you're like I
want to be a doctor great but the
fact that you're always driven towards something is
so important and I think even in the
family life right you know a hadith that's
often mentioned right with man is every one
of you is a shepherd and he mentions
that the man is a shepherd of his
family your family is looking to you for
that guidance and that leadership and that direction
and if you're lost and you don't even
know what you want to have for dinner
that day nonetheless where you want to take
the family over the next year the next
five years the next ten years what is
that going to do in terms of the
confidence that your family has in you as
a leader which is interesting because confidence of
the family members in the leader of the
family which would be the father the husband
etc if it wasn't a habit that was
practiced from before he got married oh yeah
right so what you're saying is that you
know even at a young age college and
even before that just make it a habit
to write down something that you want to
reach a goal like you said even though
you don't know the particulars of how to
get there at least write down the destination
right absolutely just get in the habit of
doing that it's not a switch that we
can just suddenly turn on so my son
he's seven mashallah and maybe when he was
five or six I talked to him about
marriage I talked to him being a father
being a leader being a husband and what
it takes and it's not every single day
but it has to be a direction we're
already heading towards and then marriage is simply
a milestone where we can continue that trajectory
that we were heading in but as you
said if it's not there before it's not
suddenly going to happen so it's beautiful because
you already introduced to him as a young
boy that marriage is part of manhood nice
that's beautiful yeah I have younger brothers who
come to me either they're in high school
or in college and they want to get
married and in their own lives I ask
them about the discipline that they have are
you do you have an expense sheet just
a simple budget where you're managing what's coming
in what's coming out do you have any
work experience even a part time job something
and I think that's very important for us
to convey to those of us who might
be in high school or might be in
college that if you want to lead a
family then start by leading yourself if you're
not disciplined yourself and you're not managing your
life you're not well put together whether it's
just in terms of appearance you're taking care
of yourself right because that takes discipline that
takes consistency or in your affairs like if
you I mean just a few examples if
you are double booking yourself right I'm going
to hang out with you this time I'm
going to hang out with you that time
and then time comes and you're like uh
oh there's a conflict right now well you're
not managing your schedule how are you going
to manage the schedule for your whole family
if you promise things and you don't uphold
your promises you say hey I'm going to
pay you back ten dollars for this group
order for going out and then you don't
do that then how are you going to
have trust from other people that you do
what you say and you say what you
do so again all of these as you
said it's not a sudden you know thing
that happens that you become a man but
rather it's a gradient and it's a flow
and it's a natural and slow progression all
the time it's a process you know with
that I want to end with if we
can all just extract one benefit from salah
and how salah has discipline within it because
as you were talking I was just thinking
of something subhanallah I guess I'll give the
first one it's kind of two things you
know when Allah swt says in the Quran
وَأْمُرْ أَهْلَكَ بِالصَّلَاةِ وَصْطَبِرْ عَلَيْهَا الْآيَةِ you know
it says order your family to pray and
have perseverance over it but in the Arabic
language the morphology is what says وَصْطَبِرْ so
he adds the alif and the ta right
which they say in Arabic زيادة المبنى زيادة
المبنى you add more letters to the morphologic
roots it has more of a meaning so
here it's not صبر but it's وَصْطَبِرْ which
means perseverance over a long period of time
which may require which will have some encounters
that will try to take you away from
it so when looking at that praying five
times a day right at least you know
in the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam mentioned
that there was a river in front of
his house if you used to wash five
times a day there wouldn't be any dirt
on him or her when understanding that it's
deep because you're standing up and you're doing
this five times a day you're stopping what
you're doing to get up and go pray
because at that time it's the most optimal
thing to do or that time frame even
within that action of discipline you're asking for
more discipline هَدِينَا صِرَحَ اَلطَوْنَا سَتَكِينَ and you've
got to guide us to the straight path
the path of what the path of those
whom you have blessed with righteousness that you
have put your blessings on not the ones
that have your anger even though this may
be speaking of particular demographic of people in
general or specifically even but the generality of
the صِرَحَ الطَوْنَا سَتَكِينَ is the deen of
Islam and the sharia of Islam and that
requires discipline from them being the second pillar
which I'm literally doing at the moment while
I'm asking so while you're doing an action
of discipline you're asking for more discipline and
that's beautiful because Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى is
the only one that can give you that
seed that you nurture with your actions of
Iman but if that seed is not nurtured
i.e. you don't pray or you're praying
and your mind is somewhere else right that
seed will eventually dry up I remember there's
one brother I'll conclude and I'll let y
'all know there's one brother he was interviewing
a sister to get married she was interviewing
him they were interviewing each other the sister
first question the sister asked the brother was
nervous man what was it I was sitting
there and out and then they're like do
you have any other questions I think it
was her dad her dad was saying do
you have any questions and he's like oh
man I don't have I don't have somewhat
thousand dollars I don't have she was like
do you make Salah in Jammah and the
brother was like yes I make Salah in
Jammah but that being a very important factor
for her was huge for him because it
made him think that yeah man Salat in
Jammah if I don't ever make it that
can dry up the seed and you know
Islam gives you so many opportunities to be
better yeah you pray by yourself you pray
you receive reward right within the prayer you
receive reward Salat in Jammah is better than
Fadhi Salat with 25 or 27 degrees that
praying in the congregation is better than praying
alone by 25 or 27 more for men
you know in the mosque I think you
covered all the main points in terms of
Salah I'll just home in on one of
them which is what you said in terms
of Khushu'a in Salah that okay part
of discipline is a mental and a spiritual
discipline that is one of the matters of
the heart and that's staying like focused if
during our Salah we're struggling with that and
we all struggle with that right every single
Muslim no one has 100% Khushu'a
can say that their Salah is perfect but
like when you take out that time and
you're like alright this is the time for
Salah think of what are those things you
can do to kind of optimize that lessen
the distractions have that focus turn off all
notifications put your phone on airplane mode or
just keep it away from you and then
try to just take time for the Salah
try to think of the different things in
the Salah after the Salah try to spend
a little bit of time doing Dhikr you
know that the Nabi SAW taught us have
that time of reflection and when you come
back to whatever you were doing whatever you
left as you said whatever you cut off
you're going to be more refreshed and Allah
SWT is going to put Barak in it
and so and extrapolate that to other things
that we do in our lives when we
speak with our friends and our family members
are we fully present with them or are
we distracted you know again and the Prophet
SAW someone even mentioned that when he would
speak to someone he would face them he
gave their full attention you know SubhanAllah Salah
in itself can either be something that you
lose all these Hasanat on and gain Siyat
or it can be the tool towards discipline
Salah in itself if it's done properly and
I think Sayyidina Muhammad SAW said a Hadith
إِذَا عَمِلْنَا أَحَدُكُمْ عَمَلْنَا يَتْقَنَهُ so if you
do something do it right if Salah is
done properly you have all the safety nets
in the world and I think that's what
Islam does to someone who practice it that's
the lifestyle SubhanAllah it creates a safety net
so even if we do make a mistake
we are trying so hard to stay on
the straight path and the right path that
if we fall off we're just one lane
off maybe two lanes but when you forget
about Salah and you're completely off of it
you are so far off this road you're
off roading and then you continue to do
more and eventually you're going to hit something
you're not going to be able to get
back on the road so I think people
need to realize and this helps me a
lot when you understand the reason behind something
it's a lot easier to do now with
that Mashallah Jazakum Allah Khair really important really
important understanding what discipline is and the role
of the life of a man and how
the man needs discipline in order to lead
and to be confident within himself and to
have people confident in him but most importantly
being disciplined and strengthens their confidence in Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and strengthens their connection
their faith to ultimately make Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala pleased with them May Allah Subhanahu
Wa Ta'ala make you all men of
honor dignity and discipline Barakallah Fikum Wassalamu Alaikum
Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh