Abdullah Oduro – Iman Cave – Confidence Through Combat Sports
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the history and cultural differences between Afghanistan and the United States, including the use of martial arts and boxing to defend themselves and their parents. They emphasize the importance of finding the right person for a child and finding the right person for a parent. The speakers also emphasize the need for focus, discipline, and confidence in learning, and the importance of learning a specific skill to protect oneself and family. They emphasize the need for affirmations and creating a positive reinforcement for children to achieve their goals.
AI: Summary ©
The moment the boy gets physical
or wants to exert himself in a physical
way or bring out this physicality that Allah
kind of, like, gave him as a as
a as a boy.
Right?
Right?
Like, Allah preferred
the the men over the women with their
physicality. Right?
If that's shot down,
I think it it breaks something in the
man. Yes. That carried over
when you came to the states. The state.
Yes. And then you almost kicked the guy's
lip off.
I remember that first when I got my
black belt, my teacher looked at me. He's
like, congratulation. You you earned piece of cloth.
I'm looking at like, didn't you just say
piece of cloth? How many years? Black belt
is just a color. You have to be
afraid how that person earned that black belt.
Dedication,
focus, not giving up.
Assalamu alaikum
and
the peace and blessings of Allah be upon
you all. I'm Abdullah O'Duro, and welcome to
the Iman Cave, where we discuss issues of
male excellence while being grounded in faith.
Character,
aggression,
are they polar opposites?
Is it okay for a young man or
even an older grown man to be aggressive?
Is it something that is toxic?
We hear this all the time, masculinity being
toxic, and, you know, sitting in a classroom
for 45 minutes to where that if the
young man is in the classroom for 45
minutes and he's moving around and he's restless,
that there must be a problem with him.
There must be some attention deficit. He may
need to take medication.
Is that the reality? How do we, as
Muslims, view aggression, and how does that play
into one's character?
Look no
further. We're here today with my man, Murad,
our entrepreneur.
Y'all know him by now. And we have
an esteemed guest What's her? An esteemed guest,
Masha'Allah.
Coach Barat.
Masha'Allah. May Allah bless you with Eagle Martial
Arts here, and he's actually the coach for
Murad. And hopefully
soon,
the coach of my children
for martial arts. May Allah bless
them. So we're talking about this issue of
aggression,
and we call him coach because has been
doing martial arts for over how many years
ago? 37 years. 30
37.
37 years
martial arts. I mean, that ranges from karate,
MMA. What exactly? So pretty much from Muay
Thai, Taekwondo, jujitsu,
and kickboxing.
Wow. Wow.
So,
he's been around the block. He's been around
the dojo. And where were you raised? Actually,
I was born in Kabul,
and where were you raised?
Actually, I was born in Kabul, Afghanistan. Okay.
Moved to US about,
39 years ago. Wow. Okay. Yes. And lived
my
most of my life in New Jersey. New
Jersey? Yes. And, moved to Texas about a
year ago. New Jersey stand up. We got
another New Jersey. I'm in Jersey. New Jersey
in here. Bringing my Jersey king over here.
They're gonna take over, man. Oh, no. It's
finally yeah. Yeah. Go to a market last
time. What are y'all trying to do? Yeah.
He's talking about it. He's like, exhibit and
all the stuff going on. So so okay.
So Afghanistan, how long were you in Afghanistan?
I was, very young. Okay. Probably, like, 9
years old.
How was it growing up in Afghanistan as
a you know, from from, let's say, from
the age of 5 to 9 at the
time you were able to go around, play
around, and fight and, you know Well,
Afghanistan is a very unique country.
I mean,
a lot of kids, you know,
fight bullying each other, you know. It's a
in Afghanistan, everybody fight with each other. Literally,
like, you know, they have a dogfight, catfight,
birdfight, you know. You name it, there's a
fight.
There's
there's 2 of the same thing? They have
to fight?
Which one dominates? It's
territory. We have to play make our territory.
Hamdulillah. Hamdulillah.
So which which part? Because, you know, Afghanistan,
I'm thinking, you know, and this is very
ignorant. Mountains, going up in the mountains.
Was that the case? Was what was it?
No. Afghanistan is actually is a beautiful, beautiful
country. Yes. Every country has mountains. Every country
has a but Afghanistan has a beautiful open
land. Mhmm. A lot of
farmers,
a lot of river nice beautiful rivers. Masala.
Masala.
Yeah. Of course.
Beautiful mountains. But it's not all mountains. Like,
a lot of people like, oh, Afghanistan says,
well, about mountains.
Pardon my ignorance, Tanya. No. It's important to
it's important to ask. So would you even
say that there was
and we're gonna talk about this later. Yes.
Even at 5, was there any or 6,
7, or 8 years old? Did you encounter
any bullying
amongst the young boys there in in Afghanistan?
You know, bully is actually we there was
not such a word bullying. Mhmm. And, you
know, when I found out, like, there's such
a word called bullying. Yes. Mhmm. But, yes,
kids are making fun of each other. You
have to be the strongest to survive.
You know,
In Afghanistan right now, as a matter of
fact, you know,
when I grew
up, every child was going through a to
that if you're the weakest,
you're down. Mhmm. You need to be so
you need to be strong. You need to
be, you know, and that's where, you know,
we took martial art to to defend ourselves
Mhmm. And boxing and made just to make
sure that, you know, we don't get bullied
by other kids. Right. Right. SubhanAllah. SubhanAllah. You
know, it's interesting you mentioned that. Reminds me
of, what was it? It's
road or the man who flew away. Yeah.
No. The companions, he was climbing the arak
tree. Oh, yes. That tree from in. He
was he was climbing the tree trying to
retrieve something.
And then the the wind blew his garment
and his legs showed, like his shin showed.
And the companions were making fun of the
they said, dip at the sapehi. Like, his
legs were very brittle, skinny.
So the prophet said,
They're more heavy on the scales in the
mountain of Uhud. But what's beautiful about this,
like you mentioned, and I think it's important,
you know, when talking about masculinity is that,
look, guys are gonna make fun of each
other. We we we clown each other. We
talk about each other, laugh at each other.
That's just a part of who we are.
Right? To to and some of them will
test you how thick your skin is to
see if you can handle it. I mean,
that's even, you know, when speaking by each
other, but even physically,
that's just part of that's just part of
our nature as young men. Exactly. You know
what I mean? And I think that's important
for mothers to embrace and to understand
that there although there's there's levels, there's there's
there's boundaries to that. But the fact that
it takes place
is something that is that is very naturally.
It's interesting how, like, the cultures
vary so much with regards to this. Interesting.
Yeah. Right? Like, like in Afghanistan, you're saying
people just grow up and, subhanAllah,
they they they just fight survival of the
fittest, even in Japan. Mhmm. In Japan, so
apparently, they just let their kids fight it
out. Mhmm. So a father or a mother
could be sitting in the park, in a
playground Mhmm. And their kid is getting their
their face busted Mhmm. And they can't get
involved.
That's their culture. I don't know if you
heard about that. Yes. You heard about that?
Wow. Yeah. So they just leave them.
And and the culture is that that, you
know, they have to learn how to hold
their own by themselves,
which is why they developed,
you know, martial arts where whereas here,
I don't know. I feel like some parents
I don't know how they came up came
to this conclusion where the moment the boy
gets physical
or wants to exert himself in a physical
way or bring out this physicality that Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala kind of, like, gave him
as a as a as a boy. Right?
Right? Or,
like, Allah preferred
the the men over the woman with their
physicality. Right? So the moment they
show it, if that's shot down,
I think it it breaks something in the
man. Definitely. Without a doubt. And then, like,
in in the boy, and it ultimately translates
when they become men. I don't know if
No. Definitely. That's that's so that's so accurate.
I mean, so you mentioned
coming from what is it? 8 years old,
9 years old 9 years old. From Kabul
to New York. Yes. And talk to us
about that. When the war happened, actually, we
all migrated to Pakistan. Okay. And we stayed
for a couple of years in Pakistan. Mhmm.
And then we came to US. Well, we
left Afghanistan because we are political asylum. You
know, we are political refugees. Mhmm. Coming to
America,
it was totally different land. It's a different
place. I'm like, man, this is like it's
like, wow. What is it? New York is
a different And New York. And New York.
You could send a text into New York.
Yeah. What is this place?
It was just like a dream. I'm like,
what is this? The building that we saw
in the movies, now I can see it
in reality. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Not that we
liked it, to be honest with you. We
didn't we didn't like it in the beginning.
We wanted to go back. You wanted to
go back? Yes. I can imagine your first
day in the playground. Mhmm. You know, you're
coming from Kabul.
You're in New New Jersey. New Jersey. Right?
Yeah.
Do you recall any moment you're in the
playground with the kids, and then when somebody
puts you or somebody says something, and, know,
I don't understand what you're saying. And then
now you understand what was your first encounter?
Do you remember that? Oh, absolutely. It's like
yesterday.
Wow. So
we came from Afghanistan with,
not the name with a name brand shoes
or name brand clothes.
So we used to wear something really cheap,
you know, a a fake Nike. Big Nike.
You know, and every kid are like, this
is a fake Nike, which you have. Mhmm.
I'm like, I don't know what you were
saying. Especially
football players.
Especially, like, you know, they are, like, pretty
muscular, you know. I used to get push
a lot.
And for no reason That's a final they
used to call me, like, you know,
Cambodians and this. I'm like, no. I'm not
even Cambodian. I'm from Afghanistan. Mhmm. So I
came home, like, really upset. I'm like, man,
this is this is ridiculous. And I gotta
do something about those kids. So I'm like,
you know what? In locker room, I remember,
I'm like, you know, I told this guy,
I'm like, listen, put something in your mat,
like, let let it like put a little
paper, I'm like, hold it there. Don't
move. So, like, don't move. Then a spinning
kick hit just the paper. Suddenly the guy
goes like,
what was that? You did the kick? Yeah.
I did the kick. So hold on. Do
you learn martial arts before that? Yeah. No.
From from a young age. Yes. From a
young age, I did the martial arts. Yes.
Yes. He breathes martial arts. He breathes martial
arts. Like that too. So literally the guy
goes like,
you know what? Let's be friends.
Yeah. That's how it works. You see that?
Oh, well Improve the improve the The lightest
hours. The lightest hours. They were my best
friend up to now.
Wow. They're the worst bully. They become my
best friend. Wow. Just they saw some scale.
And that probably affected your self esteem growing
up. Big time. Right? That Yes. Just knowing
that you That I can have that. You
know? Imagine without that. And I'm sure you've
seen people Yes. That grew up without it.
And that's probably what inspires you to to
to to change kids' lives, Yani, today, and
what you're doing today. By the way, coach
Bharat, I don't know if you know that
his whole family
trains. And in front of him, his wife,
his children, all 3 of them, they can
all train a whole team. Martial arts. Yeah.
He told me about the martial arts. Powerhouse
family, a lot of that.
Martial arts. It's based in Murphy, Texas. You're
coming to Murphy. Check it out. Check it
out. So, coach Mourad,
who taught you martial arts when you were
younger in Kabul?
Actually,
back in the day when the Russian was
in Afghanistan,
Korean was the country that used to come
down to do, volunteer work. Mhmm. Especially Korean
master coaches. Mhmm. They used to come down
to Afghanistan, teach kids. Wow. Teach kids to
make sure that they are in the right
path.
Make sure they stay away from the drugs.
Make sure they stay away from, you know,
all those negative activity.
So Korean was bringing their coaches and teachers
to teach our Afghan generation to teach them
Taekwondo. Yes. Beside promoting their martial arts in
Afghanistan, but they're teaching the youth how to
be disciplined. So they opened dojos around the
area? Or They were still actually not a
dojo. They used to come down in a
in a in a park,
You know? Wow. Anywhere that they have a
space, we used to train
there. So I know. That's the only way
that a lot of kids were staying away
from those negative activity
is martial arts. Because teaching them discipline,
respect, focus, yes, ma'am, yes, sir. It's all
through martial arts. We never call our our
elders yes, ma'am, yes, sir. When the when
the ward came in, he's like, listen. This
is how you're supposed to stand in front
of the adult. Make sure eye contact. Make
sure I have a good body posture. Make
it make sure I have a good self
control. So I've been taught through martial arts.
Mhmm.
Yes. That carried over
when you came to the states. The state.
Yes. And then you almost kicked the guy's
lip off. Yes.
And they realized, oh, oh. Yeah. Oh, okay.
Yeah. I I I respect it. What is
it? Okay. I know what I know what
it would do now. It's so funny. I
was, like, one of the most famous guy
in the in the school. Everybody wants to
be my friend. Hey, I wanna be your
friend and show me some cool moves. Show
me some cool moves. Mhmm. Now, again, in
the in the
in locker room, in a, you know,
cafeteria.
I'm being surrounded by those guys that they
were like, man,
this is cool. Wow. It's cool. It's just
it it was the thing. Yeah. The thing.
Yes. It's the thing. SubhanAllah. And I notice
it I notice it in in the children
that are disciplined in martial arts. I notice,
like, because I did programs,
for EPIC Youth, alhamdulillah, your, you know, coach
Barat, the gym Eagle Martial Arts is right
next to the EPIC community. Right? Yes, sir.
So
the children
attended
his martial arts class would stand out amongst
amongst the rest of the youth.
Mhmm. But the moment I would tell
the kids, alright, guys, everybody stand up. Mhmm.
All the kids
that trained in martial arts would just stand
up. Mhmm.
All the other kids just be talking, chit
chatting, and then,
but the other ones are triggered. Like, words
actually make a difference for them. Mhmm. Right?
Maybe they're not used to just listening and
and ignoring.
Because they're always, like and then then and
then the second thing is they always look
me in the eye when I'm talking to
them. Like, hey, they're just staring me. I'm
like, where did they learn this eye contact
from? Obviously, martial arts. That's beautiful. There's there's
one saying that I always always say to
myself and my kids know is that you
learn your reality through physicality. Physicality. Right? Yes.
Where where do you see because I mean,
you've seen the kids that were in his
that that have been through his his martial
arts. I don't even wanna say class. I
wanna say martial arts transformation.
Transformation. It is. Yeah. Is the physicality
the means to,
how do I say, arrive at refining the
character?
Have you seen that? Is that like a
portion of it? So when the kids come
in, you know, because I remember you mentioned
you have a class for the kids and
it's really character development. Yes. Can you explain
that to us? Is there a physical element
there? And what what what what is the
structure with that?
So when the kid comes into our facility,
usually,
we do evaluate them,
find out exactly what the issues are. We
all know that about 80 to 90% is
is is focus,
discipline, and confidence. Those are three main things.
Confidence is number 1 thing. Discipline and confidence.
Yes.
You
especially teenagers. You talk to them, they can
even look at your eyes. Mhmm. They look
down. Man, listen. Bring your chin up. Shoulder
back. Eyes straight ahead,
man.
Learn the three laws of walking.
K.
And nobody told them that.
Nobody told them. Even a parent, even parents
will look at me, like, oh, we never
told them. We never taught children to look
up.
Yes, we do have some parents, but the
majority of them,
they're so focused on their daily life, but
they never sit down with a kid that
listens
to them. Look up. Coach Parazolos, you give
us a lot there. I wanna dissect it,
you know, okay.
So the first thing you mentioned, you said
focus,
discipline,
and confidence.
Confidence. Focus, discipline, and confidence.
It seems like it's in that order.
It seems like it's in that because they
have to have focus to continue continue and
to keep on,
they need
discipline. And as a result of that or
through that,
the the confidence this kicks in. Absolutely.
Okay. We always say it in the class.
We are the best. Hard work pays off.
We never give up. We're gonna make sure
dread in their head.
And 3 laws of focusing, eyes, mind, and
body. Eyes mean look at the person you're
talking to. Mind means have a good focus
and body means self control. When somebody talks
to you, you know how to sit down,
you know how to stand up. Because now
this teenager, you talk to them, they're, like,
all over. All over. Their eyes are all
over. Yeah. I feel back in the day,
like, when people lived in in, like, remote
towns or in, like, Bedouin villages or and
so
however people lived back in the day,
the culture, the father, the grandfather, the uncles,
they would just teach them these things. And
nowadays, nobody's teaching them any of this stuff.
Yeah. So and, subhanallah, you know
you know how we we
we teach our children to harness these abilities
as they manifest on them, like, a child
learns how to chew, we start feeding them.
They learn how to pick up their weight,
we teach them how to crawl. They learn
how to push up their bodies and balance,
we teach them how to walk.
And they keep growing. They learn how to
memorize words. They learn how to speak and
pick up their tongue. Okay. So we're building
on these things that are developing.
The aggressiveness
is something that grows into a boy.
Like, they learn how to become physical. Right?
Right? For the most, the how we channel
a channel. Beautiful. What are we doing with
that? That's beautiful. Right? Do is it just
a stop right there? No. Don't be aggressive.
There's no way to channel this. This is
bad. No. It's actually natural. Right. Yeah. It's
actually natural, you know, and he has to
learn how to use it. It's part of
his identity. Mhmm. Right. Right. And it's creating
those means that appropriate
that aggression. That aggression is there. And that's
why I love the hadith always. The hadith
of.
You know, that that the president said that,
the harsh one is not the one that
can wrestle, but it's the one that can
control themselves
in times of anger. He acknowledges the anger.
He doesn't he doesn't say the anger is
wrong, but they know how to steward and
control it. So having something like what you
what you with your martial arts,
initially, when they come in, you teach them
even before the the movement. Yes. It's this
aspect of of life and the aspect of
being
an upright individual.
And particularly, when we're talking about demand of
the aggression because of the testosterone secretion, maybe
a little more,
that they need to know how to look
someone dead in the eye Mhmm. And talk
them correctly, stand up straight. And then also
with that, subhanAllah.
I I think I think I like the
fact that you mentioned
focus because
the whole world is filled with distractions now.
And you said they're looking all over the
place. When you talk to them, they they're
gonna be done on their phone. You know?
Yeah. And then when you, you know then
they they look up to even answer
you answer your question if they even look
up. Yeah. But telling them you have to
be intentional with focus itself
is is is beautiful, mister Panglove. Because does
that carry even carry over even in the
actual martial arts itself? Absolutely.
I mean,
going back to the the, the focus and
the discipline,
respect part of the martial arts. I mean,
of course, as a parents, we don't have
this manual to study that this is how
we need to be parents.
But let's, you know,
let's
uplift our kids. Mhmm. Let's The problem is
you're standing in front of 5, 6 years
old and talking to your coach that my
kid has no confidence.
Mhmm. My kid is very shy. Mhmm. My
kid is really lazy. You're saying that in
front of the kid. Mhmm. And the kid
goes
I'm
like, as a parent, at least have a
little education.
You can just talk to your kid like
that. Mhmm. You can just say that to
the side. You can just come out to
the
I always teach their parents. Listen, if you
wanna talk to your kids,
make sure uplift them.
He's my confidence kid. He's my discipline kid.
Yeah. I call it good finder.
A lot of parents,
they don't spend time with them
and always put them down. Mhmm. He's very
disciplined. Coach is very undisciplined.
He get kicked out of football. What happened?
He kicked out of Osaka. What happened? He
just threw the jersey on the floor.
I'm like, maybe he wants to be a
perfectionist. Mhmm. Mhmm. Maybe he wants to be
a perfectionist. Did you know why did he
throw
instead of time out? Instead of, like, oh,
he's bad kid? Let's find out how do
we how we take this kid to be
a perfectionist? How to make him best athlete?
There's a connection to it, but you mentioned
something earlier, and I wanna touch on it.
Mhmm. It's gonna put you a little on
the hot seat on the spot.
So you're originally from Afghanistan. Yes. And your
in laws are from Uzbekistan. Uzbekistan. Yes. And
you were telling me about how
the your your in laws at the time,
who were not your in laws at that
time Yes. It was known that you could
not marry from outside of the Uzbekistan.
Yeah.
I guess, the tribe or or culture for
lack of better words.
But you are the first one
to marry into them. You have to let
me know how that took place. I'll tell
you the story about how does it relate
to martial arts. Miss Vinland. How does it
relate to the confidence?
So,
yes, actually, they're a huge family in Germany.
So I was the only person that
went out of my way to, you know,
to marry
one of theirs. Wait. Wait. Sorry.
Germany. Where New York to Germany. What
she actually shows that she came as a
tourist. Uh-huh. She came
to the US.
And we met met her in my, one
of my friend's wedding. Marcella. So I'm like,
you know what? I'll marry her. She's he's
like, no. No. No. You cannot marry them.
They're the kingdom family. Okay. They are their
own tribes. Oh, wow. I'm like, you know
what? Yeah. My teacher always says that the
goal he said is the goal you get.
Allahu Akbar. K. Then he said the goal.
Determination.
Yes. Determination.
That's what the men. Yes. Man. So she
went to Germany. We find out that the
relatives in the US also, we find the
address. We flew to Germany.
Literally flew by myself. To see if you
could do Yes. Wow. Yes. My man. So
So my coach.
So I'm like, you know what? We found
out the house. We went there. Mhmm. Knock
the door.
Like, literally, that's exactly knock the door. It's
like,
I really wanna marry your daughter. It's, like,
listen,
0 chance. We can we cannot let you
marry your daughter.
It's impossible. Uh-huh. So we had a 2
day ticket. The next day, we're supposed to
come back.
K? So, apparently, what happens? So in in
a field in a in a in in,
soccer field, I see these big noises happening.
Kids are like fighting, you know, like playing
soccer. I wanna have a kid broke his
hand. So I ran, I'm like, the kid,
like, literally, like, his bone sticking out of
his skin, like, really bad. So, like, everybody's
like staying away. So I picked this kid
up, I'm grabbing the kids, I'm holding his
hand,
you know, put a little towel in the
clip. Oh my god. Let's go to the
call the ambulance. I took a kid
into Germany. Again, didn't speak a word of
German.
Sitting down with this kid that I don't
know who the kid is, going to the
hospital. They went to the hospital, and next
time they see him, a big, huge family
walks in here, like, my son is here
in the hospital. I was like, yeah. So
who brought him? He's like, this guy.
So guess what? That was my wife's family.
Oh.
That's
amazing. You know. That is amazing. But what
I want I mean, but but okay, so
what are the benefits that we can derive
from this in regards to masculine excellence? Yeah.
I mean, the first thing is that, you
know, the hadith of the prophet, so he
talks about the intention.
And he mentions for Hijra to
the person that has his intention to marry
her for this. His his Hijra
is for that his his migration
was for that intention.
Okay. So you intended to marry this sister.
You
I don't wanna capitalize on that. There's a
number of men that I've met.
When I asked them how they got married,
they said, yes. When I saw this sister,
I said, I'm gonna marry her. I've heard
this from more than one people I respect.
They just see someone and say it's it's
the one. Yes, bro. I'm telling you. They
say, oh, yes. She I'm gonna marry her.
They they won't take no for an answer.
It's like it's it's a certain connection that
they have with Allah
because they say I'm gonna marry her, and
I'm going to you obviously do it the
right way. Mhmm. And I'm going to I'm
going to
she's the one for me. I'm not gonna
say it's love at first sight. Yeah. But
it's something that you say, well, the way
I've seen her carry to the way this,
I want her to be the mother of
my children. I want her to be my
companion. That's.
That's the first thing.
And there's a level of confidence
internally Yeah. To even say that to yourself.
And that's why I think it's beautiful that
these words of affirmation
that you have Yeah. Couched within the belief
in Allah.
And then you have that this is going
to happen,
Right?
Then
flying
from New Jersey
to Germany
to just
knock on the door and
what was going through Your mind. Your mind,
body, and soul.
I'm like, you know what? First of all,
we said the goal we set is goal
we get. So I'm like, the other one,
like, listen, if it doesn't happen, it does
not happen. You know what? But I'll try
my best.
Okay? I'll try my best to see why.
So but I'll never give up.
I'll never give up. The confidence that I
was sitting in front of all these uncles.
Subhanallah. There's about 30 of them plus, like,
all of them, like, 6 foot tall, sitting
down like that, asked me some serious questions.
And I wanna make sure that I answer
each one of them. And one of them
asked me is like, how do I guarantee
that you're gonna marry her or keep her
happy for rest of your life? I'm like,
because I do have my sister also.
Mhmm. I don't want my sister to be
mistreated also. So I'll treat if somebody treat
my sister, I will treat somebody else's daughter
also like that. Coach, I love this. No.
I really love you know, and you know
why I love this? Because
right now, I was telling you earlier, you
have a lot of these apps where a
lot of the youth are going to get
married. Yeah. I was gonna say that they're
haram. Everything has its purpose. Right? But Of
course. I tell them initially, if there's a
sister you're interested in marrying,
go straight to her father. Deal with the
the fear. Deal with the risk. Yeah. The
rejection. I mean, you mentioned, you're sitting there.
It's it's it's it's no until it's yes.
And you're feeling the no right there. But
Yeah. Like you said, you're gonna keep going
because you're the right intention. Yes. You wanna
do the right thing. And that's important for
for men. If they want to do the
right thing,
you go humbly and you just continue on.
And if you want to make that sister,
you go to her father and you be
yourself. You have no fear because you're offering
something to the table. As a matter of
fact, I tell the sisters you're offering your
life. Yes, exactly. You're my wife and I'm
willing to die for you. So you're coming
to the table with that energy
and that that's that's that's beautiful. And I
think that determination is something that if you
notice every animal in the animal kingdom
has to prove
how much Subhanallah.
You know what I'm saying?
The the male has to prove how much
they're willing to go through for the female.
You know, something just out off the books,
like, they fight, they do whatever, they build
a a nest, or whatever it is, you
know? You need somebody that just asks a
girl or sends an email or gets a
a bad look from her father, brother, and
whatnot, and they just like,
oh, yeah. I I didn't feel right. Mhmm.
Yeah. What are you talking? What's your determination?
What's your determination?
Right. And by the way, there's something coach
didn't mention. His his wife is from, like,
a royal lineage too.
Like, that's why they're even even closer now.
Like, their great grandparents were were the rulers
of of, like, that region in Baha'u'llahara Wow.
Instead whatnot like Wow. So when you when
you when you actually
helped this child Mhmm. And you were at
the hospital,
when did you find out that it was
from the family, the royal family?
Actually, I find out literally, like, that moment.
Like, literally, I saw them, like, oh, because
some of the faces are familiar to me.
I'm like, okay, they're here.
Hopefully, everything is okay. The guy they they
are they are a kid. Exactly.
Wow. Awesome. Kind of a then how did
they continue from there? So you can say
so. That's exactly. You know what? Really? Yeah.
You know what? Really? Yeah. It's like, you
know what?
Do you mind if you can extend your
your flight for a couple more days? They
asked you that. Yes. And you already knew.
I'm like, yeah.
Oh, okay. Flying as gasoline. That's amazing. Yes.
Flying as gasoline. Coach, Wala, that's, you know,
this is inspiring to a lot of men
looking at it because because,
you know, many many of them won't know
how to approach it at all. Mhmm. Right?
Give up at the first it's not I
think it's unmanly to give up on the
first try. Right? Okay. You can't Yeah. Yeah.
Let's elaborate on it. Between the It's not
really merely to give up on the first
on the first try. You gotta cut you
gotta show that you you're like, no. I
chose you, and I don't just choose nobody.
Yeah. That's what I teach our kids, our
new generation.
You know,
set your goal and achieve your goal. The
problem we have with the youth now right
now,
they jump from one thing to the other
thing. They're not consistent in one thing.
Master one technique, learning it instead of learning
a 1,000
technique that you just did master it. So
just focus on one thing and be good
at one that thing.
And
martial art is honestly is one of the
best sports
for confidence, self defense.
And you can look at yourself in a
mirror that you know nobody can believe me.
Mhmm. You look at yourself in a mirror
like, says, you know, you can defend yourself.
It's like you survival of the jungle. Yeah.
Out there is a jungle.
Yeah. We know that. So if we can
defend ourselves, if we can walk with a
confidence,
if physically we are fit,
that confidence builds up.
So so so when you were in
in Jersey
what did you what inspired you to
as as the man of the household, right?
To go out and say, you know what,
I want to provide for my family through
teaching
what I'm competent in. Because it's very important
for a man to be competent. Yes. To
have knowledge of something,
and that knowledge and skill that he has
is what he's used to provide for us.
Whether it's for his family, whether it's taking
an axe and chopping the tree, which seems
very easy, but it's very, very difficult and
deadly,
or hunting. You're using that skill with your
own hands Yes. And you're opening
a martial arts
facility. You just you just do the work.
And that's what's so and that's what's important
too for, you know, a young man. You're
talking about focus, discipline. Yes. Right? The focus,
focus, focus on one thing and try to
eliminate those distractions.
And I think physical fit physical, you know,
particularly martial arts and combat sports, it's so
it translates over to defending yourself and defending
your honoring your family, etcetera. You see the
results of it,
which which is, which is which is beautiful.
So when you started this so you went
and started a dojo after that or a
martial arts facility? Yeah. A small very small
about
probably, like, 500 square feet. Mhmm.
From 500 square feet, we went to 3,000
square feet. From 3,000 square feet, we went
to, like, 16,000 square feet. Supernatural. Yeah. And
from 16,000 square feet, that building we end,
we we bought the building.
Yeah. And so we
we we were in a small town of
15
10, 15,000
population.
So we are one of the biggest school
in the state of New Jersey Wow. And
top 17 in the US. From that, we
got involved with the elementary schools. We got
involved with middle schools. Mhmm. We get involved
with the police department. They used to come
down and train with us. Mhmm. So any
of the SWAT members
tried to be in a SWAT team, used
to train with us first. So let me
ask you about this then.
You know,
was it
your family? Because you mentioned that everyone's a
black belt under the roof of your home.
Yes. Was
it that you sat down, you said, you
know, everyone in this house is gonna become
a black belt? Or is it that they
saw you doing it and they said, we
wanna be like First started my wife from,
like, you know what? I had an experience
from in the past from my friends that
their husband and I was 2 different career.
Yes. Whether we grow like this, whether we
grow like this.
So when we grow like this, we always
separate with each we from each other. But
we grow like this,
we will help each other. So I always
wanna be, like, a girl together.
So I don't want her to tell me
why you're coming late, what are you, what
are you doing. So if she's in martial
arts, she's training with me, we know we
are together.
We know, you know, if I stay in
martial arts, she would not call me what
I am right now. Mhmm. The first thing
I'm gonna ask her, I'm like,
there's 2 things in life that will save
you in life. Two things, swimming and martial
arts. They both save life. So I'm like,
I know you know swimming, but you need
to learn martial arts. Mhmm.
K. Because
you you never know. You know? Yeah. If
you ever get attacked, at least you defend
yourself. So she started with a self defense.
Slowly, slowly, slowly.
So she start training, and she got a
black belt under under me. Wow. Awesome. And
now, much or less, she loves it. She
loves every moment of it. She's like, man,
this is the best thing ever happened. And
then the kids, how did that happen again?
The kids, you know, like, from the my
kids started as young as 2 years old.
Wow. I have a video that they they
were crawling, like, they're they're they're, like, up
to the uniform. Like, you know what? This
is the only sports that saved my life.
That this is the only sport that gives
me a lot of confidence. I wanna make
sure that I will teach my kids
how to be combat sports. Mhmm. Whether it's,
you know, whether it's jujitsu,
Muay Thai, anything. I wanna make sure that
they learn any kind of combat sport.
Coming from the school, their lunch, sitting on
the mat, eating lunch. 13 years old, one
of my daughters was 13 years old back
then. She was a bully prevention seminar expert
in her age. She was 13 years old
teaching high school.
She was going in high school. She was
going to libraries, talk about bullying. 13 years
old. Wow. Her confidence level,
the way she talks, the way she represent
herself. Nobody thought she was 13 years old.
That's what it does. Yes. You know? The
reinforcement shade. So, like, the reinforcement
is just so and and what I noticed
is in the dojo, because I work out
at Eagle
myself, and, when I go and train, I
noticed the
the the vibe in there is is just
it's different from other gyms, because, oh, we're
all Muslim,
for the most part, there's
a lot of, like, this positive
reinforcement.
Go go do it. You could do more,
you know. I love it. And I remember,
like, even my son, like, couldn't do,
you know, 10 push ups at home. And
then I remember bringing him coach, well, I'm
like, yeah, he can't do more than 10
push ups. Well, like, I know for a
fact that there's skinny arms and, you know,
like, Bob, I can't, and he's just doing
his wheelchair. Well, no, the coach is like,
no, let's do it together. And they were
actually head to head, like, doing it together.
Together. He's more. He's more. He's a lot
more. And and I was like, dude, no
way you did it. I did 30 push
ups. Yes. 30 push ups. You remember that.
And I I'm like I'm like,
how how do you do it? He's a
coach. And then I remember I remember coach
told me something. He's like he's like, this
is what I do for a living. You
know? Like, this this is my living. This
is what I do. It's the ambition that
that that our our young men need nowadays
to do a lot. Ambition, ambition, ambition. But
focusing on something they like and then having
that ambition and just sticking with it, which
is the discipline,
you know, to to reach that point, SubhanAllah.
And one advice as well, Sheikh, for the
parents before you let them go,
make sure you
you help create that thing
for your child that makes them confident.
Mhmm. Okay. You know that, like, how how
was martial arts, self defense, it could be
other stuff, basketball, football. But you be
like, the parent has to identify
and enhance that because that's part of their
character building. And that's beautiful that you mentioned
that because the character building can be through
many different mechanisms. Right? It's because
ambition is ambition. Failure is failure, whichever realm
it may be. But, particularly, I have a
a love for some physical activity, and that
particularly in combat sports
because particularly for the for the man,
for the male, it's going to be he's
gonna be looked at as the overarching protector
of the household. Yeah. Doesn't mean that, Doesn't
mean that, you know, the daughters cannot cannot
well, I'd hope my my daughter's in boxing.
Oh, she's gonna join you soon, Insha'Allah.
But it's important to be intentional about that
that protecting mechanism and having that within your
mind that, you know, you are as you
mentioned, the words of affirmation
that they have and let that translate over
into the way that they think about themselves
and about others around them. I wanted to
ask you lastly because we're about to conclude
here is
the belt system.
You know, people would think that the belt
is only a symbol of your physical prowess
that, okay. Oh, he's a black belt. He'll
beat me up. Yeah. She'll beat me up.
But does something else come along with that?
Is it a license? Is it a a
shahada for something else? Is it a witness
for something else? I remember that
first when I got my black belt,
my teacher looked at me. He's like, congratulation.
You you earned piece of cloth.
I'm looking at, like, didn't you just say
piece of cloth? How many years? Like,
and suddenly he stopped, he's like,
black belt is just a color,
You have to be afraid how that person
earned that black belt.
Dedication,
focus,
Not giving
up. Injuries.
I mean, he list goes on and on
and on. Go to doctor's office, look at
the certificate.
What does it cost? How much does it
cost to build a certificate?
From King Code, probably, like, 50ยข, maybe, like,
dollar? Mhmm. $2?
But what goes behind the certificate?
The years of education. The years of hard
work. So black bill is not just a
piece of cloth that you put around your
waist.
It's
a lot of determination, a lot of not
giving up.
And this fact about black belt,
I graduate over a 1000 black belts. Over
a 1000. That's right. Yes.
Kids that they started as young as 3
years old
all the way to 60 something years old.
Wow.
Kids
that they become a black belt, 98%
of those kids
are very successful.
It's fact. Straight.
It's fact. The fortitude. Yeah. I meant to
fortitude.
Literally, every child that become a black belt,
we have a list of all those kids,
what they are right now. A lot.
CEOs, doctors, lawyers.
As a matter of fact,
one of the student, he come up to
me as a coach. A skinny kid walked
in as a coach.
I wanna be a Navy SEAL one day.
And dad goes, like,
I'm
like,
Andrew,
the goal we set is the goal
we get.
Whatever you're gonna do in life, my friend.
You know? K?
Marcello.
He's a Navy SEAL right now.
Oh, I see. You just goals we set,
the goals we Goals we get. Get. That's
what they say. And they say it every
day. Yes. They come and trade.
So it's it's I mean, there's so many
success stories.
Why? Because parents never gave up on their
kids.
Parents, like, son,
this is sports.
If you wanna quit, that's fine. Do something
else, but don't quit. Stick with it.
I see parents. You know what? Oh, my
my kid is improving. Oh, he's not improving.
Oh, let's kick him out. Let's let's do
another sports.
K. Consistency key to success. Mhmm. I see
parents are sitting down
like this, watching the kids
clapping,
cheering.
Those kids are 99.9%,
100%. They are very successful kids. Wow. Somehow
And then we have parents. They drop them
off when they're in in elementary school. They
pick them up when they graduate from high
school. And they bring it to us, like,
coach, could you help my son? He's 9
18 years old. You know, he can't even
he doesn't wanna spend a a moment with
me. I'm like, when was the last time
that you spent with us? I spent a
moment with him. Yeah. And then we have
a parents that we call our parents as
coaches. Yeah. They are the coaches. They are
the they are the sideliners. They are the
one who cheers.
Go, son. Come on. Let's do this. And
then when they grew up,
they're gonna give a fist bump to the
to the dad. And instead of like, hey,
dad. What are you doing over here? When
the kid grow up, they become the best
friend of their mom and dad. So last
words for the fathers that would say,
you know,
well, I don't know martial arts. I'll just
let my son learn it. Would you even
you'd advise him to come and sit and
watch even though he doesn't know anything about
the sport? What would you advise those fathers?
Lead by example. Uh-huh.
If you wanna go to gym, take your
son. You go to gym first, then take
your son with you. If you wanna go
for a jog, take your son for a
jog.
Be active, father.
Don't just be a sideline, don't do anything.
If your son transfer 1 hour, he transfer
2 hours.
This is this is how successful
this is how success starts. So I encourage
all the parents, if you don't know martial
arts, ask the coach, show you some basic
some basic move.
Every final jab cross, hold the pads. Go
to the park. Work with the child.
Start with the young age.
That's all. And believe me, they'll listen.
They'll all listen, bring it back to the
coach. Hey, coach.
We'll work with them. Who are you? Because
we trust we build a trust with the
kids.
Bless
you. Thank you. And allow you to flourish
and have branches all around, not the US,
but around the world. Thank you. Eagle Martial
Arts.
Thank you so much. Many lessons learned.
And plenty of advice for all of us.
Bless you too, man, for coming in.
And that is masculine excellence through the physicality,
combat sports,
going through those phases in life mentally, physically.
Nothing wrong with failure. That's only a means
for you to get better. And I personally
feel that combat sports is definitely the way
to go. Michelle, if you happen to come
to Dallas, check them out. It's Eagle Martial
Arts in Murphy, Texas right around the corner
from Epic East Plano Islamic Center.
May Allah bless you all, and may Allah
bless you young men and males to embody
masculine excellence.