Abdullah Oduro – Iman Cave – Confidence Through Combat Sports

Abdullah Oduro
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AI: Summary ©

The speakers discuss the history and cultural differences between Afghanistan and the United States, including the use of martial arts and boxing to defend themselves and their parents. They emphasize the importance of finding the right person for a child and finding the right person for a parent. The speakers also emphasize the need for focus, discipline, and confidence in learning, and the importance of learning a specific skill to protect oneself and family. They emphasize the need for affirmations and creating a positive reinforcement for children to achieve their goals.

AI: Summary ©

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			The moment the boy gets physical
		
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			or wants to exert himself in a physical
		
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			way or bring out this physicality that Allah
		
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			kind of, like, gave him as a as
		
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			a as a boy.
		
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			Right?
		
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			Right?
		
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			Like, Allah preferred
		
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			the the men over the women with their
		
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			physicality. Right?
		
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			If that's shot down,
		
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			I think it it breaks something in the
		
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			man. Yes. That carried over
		
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			when you came to the states. The state.
		
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			Yes. And then you almost kicked the guy's
		
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			lip off.
		
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			I remember that first when I got my
		
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			black belt, my teacher looked at me. He's
		
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			like, congratulation. You you earned piece of cloth.
		
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			I'm looking at like, didn't you just say
		
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			piece of cloth? How many years? Black belt
		
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			is just a color. You have to be
		
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			afraid how that person earned that black belt.
		
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			Dedication,
		
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			focus, not giving up.
		
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			Assalamu alaikum
		
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			and
		
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			the peace and blessings of Allah be upon
		
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			you all. I'm Abdullah O'Duro, and welcome to
		
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			the Iman Cave, where we discuss issues of
		
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			male excellence while being grounded in faith.
		
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			Character,
		
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			aggression,
		
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			are they polar opposites?
		
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			Is it okay for a young man or
		
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			even an older grown man to be aggressive?
		
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			Is it something that is toxic?
		
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			We hear this all the time, masculinity being
		
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			toxic, and, you know, sitting in a classroom
		
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			for 45 minutes to where that if the
		
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			young man is in the classroom for 45
		
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			minutes and he's moving around and he's restless,
		
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			that there must be a problem with him.
		
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			There must be some attention deficit. He may
		
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			need to take medication.
		
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			Is that the reality? How do we, as
		
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			Muslims, view aggression, and how does that play
		
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			into one's character?
		
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			Look no
		
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			further. We're here today with my man, Murad,
		
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			our entrepreneur.
		
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			Y'all know him by now. And we have
		
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			an esteemed guest What's her? An esteemed guest,
		
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			Masha'Allah.
		
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			Coach Barat.
		
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			Masha'Allah. May Allah bless you with Eagle Martial
		
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			Arts here, and he's actually the coach for
		
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			Murad. And hopefully
		
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			soon,
		
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			the coach of my children
		
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			for martial arts. May Allah bless
		
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			them. So we're talking about this issue of
		
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			aggression,
		
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			and we call him coach because has been
		
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			doing martial arts for over how many years
		
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			ago? 37 years. 30
		
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			37.
		
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			37 years
		
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			martial arts. I mean, that ranges from karate,
		
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			MMA. What exactly? So pretty much from Muay
		
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			Thai, Taekwondo, jujitsu,
		
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			and kickboxing.
		
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			Wow. Wow.
		
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			So,
		
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			he's been around the block. He's been around
		
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			the dojo. And where were you raised? Actually,
		
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			I was born in Kabul,
		
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			and where were you raised?
		
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			Actually, I was born in Kabul, Afghanistan. Okay.
		
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			Moved to US about,
		
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			39 years ago. Wow. Okay. Yes. And lived
		
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			my
		
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			most of my life in New Jersey. New
		
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			Jersey? Yes. And, moved to Texas about a
		
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			year ago. New Jersey stand up. We got
		
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			another New Jersey. I'm in Jersey. New Jersey
		
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			in here. Bringing my Jersey king over here.
		
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			They're gonna take over, man. Oh, no. It's
		
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			finally yeah. Yeah. Go to a market last
		
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			time. What are y'all trying to do? Yeah.
		
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			He's talking about it. He's like, exhibit and
		
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			all the stuff going on. So so okay.
		
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			So Afghanistan, how long were you in Afghanistan?
		
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			I was, very young. Okay. Probably, like, 9
		
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			years old.
		
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			How was it growing up in Afghanistan as
		
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			a you know, from from, let's say, from
		
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			the age of 5 to 9 at the
		
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			time you were able to go around, play
		
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			around, and fight and, you know Well,
		
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			Afghanistan is a very unique country.
		
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			I mean,
		
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			a lot of kids, you know,
		
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			fight bullying each other, you know. It's a
		
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			in Afghanistan, everybody fight with each other. Literally,
		
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			like, you know, they have a dogfight, catfight,
		
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			birdfight, you know. You name it, there's a
		
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			fight.
		
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			There's
		
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			there's 2 of the same thing? They have
		
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			to fight?
		
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			Which one dominates? It's
		
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			territory. We have to play make our territory.
		
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			Hamdulillah. Hamdulillah.
		
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			So which which part? Because, you know, Afghanistan,
		
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			I'm thinking, you know, and this is very
		
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			ignorant. Mountains, going up in the mountains.
		
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			Was that the case? Was what was it?
		
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			No. Afghanistan is actually is a beautiful, beautiful
		
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			country. Yes. Every country has mountains. Every country
		
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			has a but Afghanistan has a beautiful open
		
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			land. Mhmm. A lot of
		
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			farmers,
		
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			a lot of river nice beautiful rivers. Masala.
		
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			Masala.
		
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			Yeah. Of course.
		
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			Beautiful mountains. But it's not all mountains. Like,
		
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			a lot of people like, oh, Afghanistan says,
		
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			well, about mountains.
		
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			Pardon my ignorance, Tanya. No. It's important to
		
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			it's important to ask. So would you even
		
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			say that there was
		
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			and we're gonna talk about this later. Yes.
		
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			Even at 5, was there any or 6,
		
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			7, or 8 years old? Did you encounter
		
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			any bullying
		
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			amongst the young boys there in in Afghanistan?
		
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			You know, bully is actually we there was
		
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			not such a word bullying. Mhmm. And, you
		
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			know, when I found out, like, there's such
		
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			a word called bullying. Yes. Mhmm. But, yes,
		
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			kids are making fun of each other. You
		
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			have to be the strongest to survive.
		
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			You know,
		
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			In Afghanistan right now, as a matter of
		
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			fact, you know,
		
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			when I grew
		
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			up, every child was going through a to
		
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			that if you're the weakest,
		
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			you're down. Mhmm. You need to be so
		
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			you need to be strong. You need to
		
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			be, you know, and that's where, you know,
		
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			we took martial art to to defend ourselves
		
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			Mhmm. And boxing and made just to make
		
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			sure that, you know, we don't get bullied
		
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			by other kids. Right. Right. SubhanAllah. SubhanAllah. You
		
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			know, it's interesting you mentioned that. Reminds me
		
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			of, what was it? It's
		
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			road or the man who flew away. Yeah.
		
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			No. The companions, he was climbing the arak
		
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			tree. Oh, yes. That tree from in. He
		
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			was he was climbing the tree trying to
		
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			retrieve something.
		
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			And then the the wind blew his garment
		
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			and his legs showed, like his shin showed.
		
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			And the companions were making fun of the
		
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			they said, dip at the sapehi. Like, his
		
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			legs were very brittle, skinny.
		
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			So the prophet said,
		
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			They're more heavy on the scales in the
		
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			mountain of Uhud. But what's beautiful about this,
		
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			like you mentioned, and I think it's important,
		
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			you know, when talking about masculinity is that,
		
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			look, guys are gonna make fun of each
		
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			other. We we we clown each other. We
		
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			talk about each other, laugh at each other.
		
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			That's just a part of who we are.
		
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			Right? To to and some of them will
		
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			test you how thick your skin is to
		
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			see if you can handle it. I mean,
		
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			that's even, you know, when speaking by each
		
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			other, but even physically,
		
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			that's just part of that's just part of
		
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			our nature as young men. Exactly. You know
		
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			what I mean? And I think that's important
		
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			for mothers to embrace and to understand
		
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			that there although there's there's levels, there's there's
		
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			there's boundaries to that. But the fact that
		
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			it takes place
		
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			is something that is that is very naturally.
		
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			It's interesting how, like, the cultures
		
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			vary so much with regards to this. Interesting.
		
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			Yeah. Right? Like, like in Afghanistan, you're saying
		
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			people just grow up and, subhanAllah,
		
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			they they they just fight survival of the
		
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			fittest, even in Japan. Mhmm. In Japan, so
		
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			apparently, they just let their kids fight it
		
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			out. Mhmm. So a father or a mother
		
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			could be sitting in the park, in a
		
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			playground Mhmm. And their kid is getting their
		
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			their face busted Mhmm. And they can't get
		
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			involved.
		
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			That's their culture. I don't know if you
		
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			heard about that. Yes. You heard about that?
		
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			Wow. Yeah. So they just leave them.
		
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			And and the culture is that that, you
		
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			know, they have to learn how to hold
		
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			their own by themselves,
		
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			which is why they developed,
		
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			you know, martial arts where whereas here,
		
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			I don't know. I feel like some parents
		
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			I don't know how they came up came
		
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			to this conclusion where the moment the boy
		
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			gets physical
		
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			or wants to exert himself in a physical
		
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			way or bring out this physicality that Allah
		
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			subhanahu wa ta'ala kind of, like, gave him
		
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			as a as a as a boy. Right?
		
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			Right? Or,
		
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			like, Allah preferred
		
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			the the men over the woman with their
		
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			physicality. Right? So the moment they
		
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			show it, if that's shot down,
		
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			I think it it breaks something in the
		
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			man. Definitely. Without a doubt. And then, like,
		
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			in in the boy, and it ultimately translates
		
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			when they become men. I don't know if
		
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			No. Definitely. That's that's so that's so accurate.
		
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			I mean, so you mentioned
		
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			coming from what is it? 8 years old,
		
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			9 years old 9 years old. From Kabul
		
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			to New York. Yes. And talk to us
		
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			about that. When the war happened, actually, we
		
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			all migrated to Pakistan. Okay. And we stayed
		
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			for a couple of years in Pakistan. Mhmm.
		
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			And then we came to US. Well, we
		
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			left Afghanistan because we are political asylum. You
		
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			know, we are political refugees. Mhmm. Coming to
		
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			America,
		
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			it was totally different land. It's a different
		
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			place. I'm like, man, this is like it's
		
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			like, wow. What is it? New York is
		
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			a different And New York. And New York.
		
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			You could send a text into New York.
		
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			Yeah. What is this place?
		
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			It was just like a dream. I'm like,
		
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			what is this? The building that we saw
		
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			in the movies, now I can see it
		
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			in reality. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Not that we
		
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			liked it, to be honest with you. We
		
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			didn't we didn't like it in the beginning.
		
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			We wanted to go back. You wanted to
		
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			go back? Yes. I can imagine your first
		
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			day in the playground. Mhmm. You know, you're
		
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			coming from Kabul.
		
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			You're in New New Jersey. New Jersey. Right?
		
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			Yeah.
		
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			Do you recall any moment you're in the
		
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			playground with the kids, and then when somebody
		
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			puts you or somebody says something, and, know,
		
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			I don't understand what you're saying. And then
		
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			now you understand what was your first encounter?
		
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			Do you remember that? Oh, absolutely. It's like
		
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			yesterday.
		
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			Wow. So
		
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			we came from Afghanistan with,
		
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			not the name with a name brand shoes
		
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			or name brand clothes.
		
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			So we used to wear something really cheap,
		
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			you know, a a fake Nike. Big Nike.
		
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			You know, and every kid are like, this
		
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			is a fake Nike, which you have. Mhmm.
		
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			I'm like, I don't know what you were
		
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			saying. Especially
		
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			football players.
		
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			Especially, like, you know, they are, like, pretty
		
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			muscular, you know. I used to get push
		
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			a lot.
		
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			And for no reason That's a final they
		
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			used to call me, like, you know,
		
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			Cambodians and this. I'm like, no. I'm not
		
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			even Cambodian. I'm from Afghanistan. Mhmm. So I
		
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			came home, like, really upset. I'm like, man,
		
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			this is this is ridiculous. And I gotta
		
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			do something about those kids. So I'm like,
		
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			you know what? In locker room, I remember,
		
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			I'm like, you know, I told this guy,
		
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			I'm like, listen, put something in your mat,
		
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			like, let let it like put a little
		
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			paper, I'm like, hold it there. Don't
		
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			move. So, like, don't move. Then a spinning
		
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			kick hit just the paper. Suddenly the guy
		
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			goes like,
		
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			what was that? You did the kick? Yeah.
		
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			I did the kick. So hold on. Do
		
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			you learn martial arts before that? Yeah. No.
		
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			From from a young age. Yes. From a
		
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			young age, I did the martial arts. Yes.
		
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			Yes. He breathes martial arts. He breathes martial
		
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			arts. Like that too. So literally the guy
		
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			goes like,
		
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			you know what? Let's be friends.
		
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			Yeah. That's how it works. You see that?
		
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			Oh, well Improve the improve the The lightest
		
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			hours. The lightest hours. They were my best
		
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			friend up to now.
		
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			Wow. They're the worst bully. They become my
		
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			best friend. Wow. Just they saw some scale.
		
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			And that probably affected your self esteem growing
		
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			up. Big time. Right? That Yes. Just knowing
		
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			that you That I can have that. You
		
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			know? Imagine without that. And I'm sure you've
		
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			seen people Yes. That grew up without it.
		
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			And that's probably what inspires you to to
		
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			to to change kids' lives, Yani, today, and
		
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			what you're doing today. By the way, coach
		
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			Bharat, I don't know if you know that
		
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			his whole family
		
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			trains. And in front of him, his wife,
		
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			his children, all 3 of them, they can
		
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			all train a whole team. Martial arts. Yeah.
		
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			He told me about the martial arts. Powerhouse
		
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			family, a lot of that.
		
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			Martial arts. It's based in Murphy, Texas. You're
		
00:11:01 --> 00:11:03
			coming to Murphy. Check it out. Check it
		
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			out. So, coach Mourad,
		
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			who taught you martial arts when you were
		
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			younger in Kabul?
		
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			Actually,
		
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			back in the day when the Russian was
		
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			in Afghanistan,
		
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			Korean was the country that used to come
		
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			down to do, volunteer work. Mhmm. Especially Korean
		
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			master coaches. Mhmm. They used to come down
		
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			to Afghanistan, teach kids. Wow. Teach kids to
		
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			make sure that they are in the right
		
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			path.
		
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			Make sure they stay away from the drugs.
		
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			Make sure they stay away from, you know,
		
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			all those negative activity.
		
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			So Korean was bringing their coaches and teachers
		
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			to teach our Afghan generation to teach them
		
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			Taekwondo. Yes. Beside promoting their martial arts in
		
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			Afghanistan, but they're teaching the youth how to
		
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			be disciplined. So they opened dojos around the
		
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			area? Or They were still actually not a
		
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			dojo. They used to come down in a
		
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			in a in a park,
		
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			You know? Wow. Anywhere that they have a
		
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			space, we used to train
		
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			there. So I know. That's the only way
		
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			that a lot of kids were staying away
		
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			from those negative activity
		
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			is martial arts. Because teaching them discipline,
		
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			respect, focus, yes, ma'am, yes, sir. It's all
		
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			through martial arts. We never call our our
		
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			elders yes, ma'am, yes, sir. When the when
		
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			the ward came in, he's like, listen. This
		
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			is how you're supposed to stand in front
		
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			of the adult. Make sure eye contact. Make
		
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			sure I have a good body posture. Make
		
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			it make sure I have a good self
		
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			control. So I've been taught through martial arts.
		
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			Mhmm.
		
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			Yes. That carried over
		
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			when you came to the states. The state.
		
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			Yes. And then you almost kicked the guy's
		
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			lip off. Yes.
		
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			And they realized, oh, oh. Yeah. Oh, okay.
		
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			Yeah. I I I respect it. What is
		
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			it? Okay. I know what I know what
		
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			it would do now. It's so funny. I
		
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			was, like, one of the most famous guy
		
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			in the in the school. Everybody wants to
		
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			be my friend. Hey, I wanna be your
		
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			friend and show me some cool moves. Show
		
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			me some cool moves. Mhmm. Now, again, in
		
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			the in the
		
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			in locker room, in a, you know,
		
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			cafeteria.
		
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			I'm being surrounded by those guys that they
		
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			were like, man,
		
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			this is cool. Wow. It's cool. It's just
		
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			it it was the thing. Yeah. The thing.
		
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			Yes. It's the thing. SubhanAllah. And I notice
		
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			it I notice it in in the children
		
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			that are disciplined in martial arts. I notice,
		
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			like, because I did programs,
		
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			for EPIC Youth, alhamdulillah, your, you know, coach
		
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			Barat, the gym Eagle Martial Arts is right
		
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			next to the EPIC community. Right? Yes, sir.
		
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			So
		
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			the children
		
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			attended
		
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			his martial arts class would stand out amongst
		
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			amongst the rest of the youth.
		
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			Mhmm. But the moment I would tell
		
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			the kids, alright, guys, everybody stand up. Mhmm.
		
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			All the kids
		
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			that trained in martial arts would just stand
		
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			up. Mhmm.
		
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			All the other kids just be talking, chit
		
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			chatting, and then,
		
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			but the other ones are triggered. Like, words
		
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			actually make a difference for them. Mhmm. Right?
		
00:13:49 --> 00:13:51
			Maybe they're not used to just listening and
		
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			and ignoring.
		
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			Because they're always, like and then then and
		
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			then the second thing is they always look
		
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			me in the eye when I'm talking to
		
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			them. Like, hey, they're just staring me. I'm
		
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			like, where did they learn this eye contact
		
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			from? Obviously, martial arts. That's beautiful. There's there's
		
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			one saying that I always always say to
		
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			myself and my kids know is that you
		
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			learn your reality through physicality. Physicality. Right? Yes.
		
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			Where where do you see because I mean,
		
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			you've seen the kids that were in his
		
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			that that have been through his his martial
		
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			arts. I don't even wanna say class. I
		
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			wanna say martial arts transformation.
		
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			Transformation. It is. Yeah. Is the physicality
		
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			the means to,
		
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			how do I say, arrive at refining the
		
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			character?
		
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			Have you seen that? Is that like a
		
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			portion of it? So when the kids come
		
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			in, you know, because I remember you mentioned
		
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			you have a class for the kids and
		
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			it's really character development. Yes. Can you explain
		
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			that to us? Is there a physical element
		
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			there? And what what what what is the
		
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			structure with that?
		
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			So when the kid comes into our facility,
		
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			usually,
		
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			we do evaluate them,
		
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			find out exactly what the issues are. We
		
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			all know that about 80 to 90% is
		
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			is is focus,
		
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			discipline, and confidence. Those are three main things.
		
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			Confidence is number 1 thing. Discipline and confidence.
		
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			Yes.
		
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			You
		
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			especially teenagers. You talk to them, they can
		
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			even look at your eyes. Mhmm. They look
		
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			down. Man, listen. Bring your chin up. Shoulder
		
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			back. Eyes straight ahead,
		
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			man.
		
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			Learn the three laws of walking.
		
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			K.
		
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			And nobody told them that.
		
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			Nobody told them. Even a parent, even parents
		
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			will look at me, like, oh, we never
		
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			told them. We never taught children to look
		
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			up.
		
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			Yes, we do have some parents, but the
		
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			majority of them,
		
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			they're so focused on their daily life, but
		
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			they never sit down with a kid that
		
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			listens
		
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			to them. Look up. Coach Parazolos, you give
		
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			us a lot there. I wanna dissect it,
		
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			you know, okay.
		
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			So the first thing you mentioned, you said
		
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			focus,
		
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			discipline,
		
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			and confidence.
		
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			Confidence. Focus, discipline, and confidence.
		
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			It seems like it's in that order.
		
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			It seems like it's in that because they
		
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			have to have focus to continue continue and
		
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			to keep on,
		
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			they need
		
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			discipline. And as a result of that or
		
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			through that,
		
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			the the confidence this kicks in. Absolutely.
		
00:16:03 --> 00:16:05
			Okay. We always say it in the class.
		
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			We are the best. Hard work pays off.
		
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			We never give up. We're gonna make sure
		
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			dread in their head.
		
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			And 3 laws of focusing, eyes, mind, and
		
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			body. Eyes mean look at the person you're
		
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			talking to. Mind means have a good focus
		
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			and body means self control. When somebody talks
		
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			to you, you know how to sit down,
		
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			you know how to stand up. Because now
		
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			this teenager, you talk to them, they're, like,
		
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			all over. All over. Their eyes are all
		
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			over. Yeah. I feel back in the day,
		
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			like, when people lived in in, like, remote
		
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			towns or in, like, Bedouin villages or and
		
00:16:35 --> 00:16:36
			so
		
00:16:36 --> 00:16:38
			however people lived back in the day,
		
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			the culture, the father, the grandfather, the uncles,
		
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			they would just teach them these things. And
		
00:16:44 --> 00:16:46
			nowadays, nobody's teaching them any of this stuff.
		
00:16:46 --> 00:16:48
			Yeah. So and, subhanallah, you know
		
00:16:49 --> 00:16:51
			you know how we we
		
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			we teach our children to harness these abilities
		
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			as they manifest on them, like, a child
		
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			learns how to chew, we start feeding them.
		
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			They learn how to pick up their weight,
		
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			we teach them how to crawl. They learn
		
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			how to push up their bodies and balance,
		
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			we teach them how to walk.
		
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			And they keep growing. They learn how to
		
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			memorize words. They learn how to speak and
		
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			pick up their tongue. Okay. So we're building
		
00:17:13 --> 00:17:15
			on these things that are developing.
		
00:17:15 --> 00:17:16
			The aggressiveness
		
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			is something that grows into a boy.
		
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			Like, they learn how to become physical. Right?
		
00:17:23 --> 00:17:25
			Right? For the most, the how we channel
		
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			a channel. Beautiful. What are we doing with
		
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			that? That's beautiful. Right? Do is it just
		
00:17:29 --> 00:17:31
			a stop right there? No. Don't be aggressive.
		
00:17:31 --> 00:17:33
			There's no way to channel this. This is
		
00:17:33 --> 00:17:36
			bad. No. It's actually natural. Right. Yeah. It's
		
00:17:36 --> 00:17:37
			actually natural, you know, and he has to
		
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			learn how to use it. It's part of
		
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			his identity. Mhmm. Right. Right. And it's creating
		
00:17:41 --> 00:17:43
			those means that appropriate
		
00:17:43 --> 00:17:45
			that aggression. That aggression is there. And that's
		
00:17:45 --> 00:17:47
			why I love the hadith always. The hadith
		
00:17:48 --> 00:17:48
			of.
		
00:17:49 --> 00:17:51
			You know, that that the president said that,
		
00:17:52 --> 00:17:53
			the harsh one is not the one that
		
00:17:53 --> 00:17:54
			can wrestle, but it's the one that can
		
00:17:54 --> 00:17:55
			control themselves
		
00:17:56 --> 00:17:58
			in times of anger. He acknowledges the anger.
		
00:17:58 --> 00:18:00
			He doesn't he doesn't say the anger is
		
00:18:00 --> 00:18:02
			wrong, but they know how to steward and
		
00:18:02 --> 00:18:04
			control it. So having something like what you
		
00:18:04 --> 00:18:06
			what you with your martial arts,
		
00:18:06 --> 00:18:08
			initially, when they come in, you teach them
		
00:18:08 --> 00:18:10
			even before the the movement. Yes. It's this
		
00:18:10 --> 00:18:12
			aspect of of life and the aspect of
		
00:18:12 --> 00:18:13
			being
		
00:18:13 --> 00:18:15
			an upright individual.
		
00:18:15 --> 00:18:17
			And particularly, when we're talking about demand of
		
00:18:17 --> 00:18:19
			the aggression because of the testosterone secretion, maybe
		
00:18:19 --> 00:18:20
			a little more,
		
00:18:21 --> 00:18:23
			that they need to know how to look
		
00:18:23 --> 00:18:25
			someone dead in the eye Mhmm. And talk
		
00:18:25 --> 00:18:27
			them correctly, stand up straight. And then also
		
00:18:27 --> 00:18:28
			with that, subhanAllah.
		
00:18:29 --> 00:18:30
			I I think I think I like the
		
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			fact that you mentioned
		
00:18:32 --> 00:18:33
			focus because
		
00:18:33 --> 00:18:36
			the whole world is filled with distractions now.
		
00:18:36 --> 00:18:37
			And you said they're looking all over the
		
00:18:37 --> 00:18:39
			place. When you talk to them, they they're
		
00:18:39 --> 00:18:40
			gonna be done on their phone. You know?
		
00:18:40 --> 00:18:42
			Yeah. And then when you, you know then
		
00:18:42 --> 00:18:44
			they they look up to even answer
		
00:18:44 --> 00:18:46
			you answer your question if they even look
		
00:18:46 --> 00:18:48
			up. Yeah. But telling them you have to
		
00:18:48 --> 00:18:50
			be intentional with focus itself
		
00:18:51 --> 00:18:53
			is is is beautiful, mister Panglove. Because does
		
00:18:53 --> 00:18:56
			that carry even carry over even in the
		
00:18:56 --> 00:18:58
			actual martial arts itself? Absolutely.
		
00:18:58 --> 00:18:59
			I mean,
		
00:19:00 --> 00:19:03
			going back to the the, the focus and
		
00:19:03 --> 00:19:04
			the discipline,
		
00:19:05 --> 00:19:07
			respect part of the martial arts. I mean,
		
00:19:07 --> 00:19:08
			of course, as a parents, we don't have
		
00:19:08 --> 00:19:10
			this manual to study that this is how
		
00:19:10 --> 00:19:11
			we need to be parents.
		
00:19:11 --> 00:19:12
			But let's, you know,
		
00:19:13 --> 00:19:14
			let's
		
00:19:14 --> 00:19:18
			uplift our kids. Mhmm. Let's The problem is
		
00:19:18 --> 00:19:20
			you're standing in front of 5, 6 years
		
00:19:20 --> 00:19:22
			old and talking to your coach that my
		
00:19:22 --> 00:19:24
			kid has no confidence.
		
00:19:24 --> 00:19:26
			Mhmm. My kid is very shy. Mhmm. My
		
00:19:26 --> 00:19:29
			kid is really lazy. You're saying that in
		
00:19:29 --> 00:19:31
			front of the kid. Mhmm. And the kid
		
00:19:31 --> 00:19:31
			goes
		
00:19:33 --> 00:19:33
			I'm
		
00:19:34 --> 00:19:35
			like, as a parent, at least have a
		
00:19:35 --> 00:19:36
			little education.
		
00:19:37 --> 00:19:38
			You can just talk to your kid like
		
00:19:38 --> 00:19:40
			that. Mhmm. You can just say that to
		
00:19:40 --> 00:19:41
			the side. You can just come out to
		
00:19:41 --> 00:19:41
			the
		
00:19:43 --> 00:19:45
			I always teach their parents. Listen, if you
		
00:19:45 --> 00:19:46
			wanna talk to your kids,
		
00:19:47 --> 00:19:48
			make sure uplift them.
		
00:19:48 --> 00:19:51
			He's my confidence kid. He's my discipline kid.
		
00:19:51 --> 00:19:53
			Yeah. I call it good finder.
		
00:19:53 --> 00:19:54
			A lot of parents,
		
00:19:55 --> 00:19:57
			they don't spend time with them
		
00:19:58 --> 00:20:00
			and always put them down. Mhmm. He's very
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:02
			disciplined. Coach is very undisciplined.
		
00:20:03 --> 00:20:05
			He get kicked out of football. What happened?
		
00:20:05 --> 00:20:06
			He kicked out of Osaka. What happened? He
		
00:20:06 --> 00:20:08
			just threw the jersey on the floor.
		
00:20:09 --> 00:20:10
			I'm like, maybe he wants to be a
		
00:20:10 --> 00:20:13
			perfectionist. Mhmm. Mhmm. Maybe he wants to be
		
00:20:13 --> 00:20:14
			a perfectionist. Did you know why did he
		
00:20:14 --> 00:20:15
			throw
		
00:20:15 --> 00:20:17
			instead of time out? Instead of, like, oh,
		
00:20:17 --> 00:20:19
			he's bad kid? Let's find out how do
		
00:20:19 --> 00:20:21
			we how we take this kid to be
		
00:20:21 --> 00:20:23
			a perfectionist? How to make him best athlete?
		
00:20:25 --> 00:20:27
			There's a connection to it, but you mentioned
		
00:20:27 --> 00:20:29
			something earlier, and I wanna touch on it.
		
00:20:29 --> 00:20:30
			Mhmm. It's gonna put you a little on
		
00:20:30 --> 00:20:32
			the hot seat on the spot.
		
00:20:33 --> 00:20:35
			So you're originally from Afghanistan. Yes. And your
		
00:20:35 --> 00:20:39
			in laws are from Uzbekistan. Uzbekistan. Yes. And
		
00:20:39 --> 00:20:40
			you were telling me about how
		
00:20:41 --> 00:20:43
			the your your in laws at the time,
		
00:20:43 --> 00:20:45
			who were not your in laws at that
		
00:20:45 --> 00:20:47
			time Yes. It was known that you could
		
00:20:47 --> 00:20:49
			not marry from outside of the Uzbekistan.
		
00:20:49 --> 00:20:50
			Yeah.
		
00:20:50 --> 00:20:53
			I guess, the tribe or or culture for
		
00:20:53 --> 00:20:53
			lack of better words.
		
00:20:54 --> 00:20:55
			But you are the first one
		
00:20:56 --> 00:20:58
			to marry into them. You have to let
		
00:20:58 --> 00:20:59
			me know how that took place. I'll tell
		
00:20:59 --> 00:21:01
			you the story about how does it relate
		
00:21:01 --> 00:21:03
			to martial arts. Miss Vinland. How does it
		
00:21:03 --> 00:21:04
			relate to the confidence?
		
00:21:04 --> 00:21:05
			So,
		
00:21:05 --> 00:21:08
			yes, actually, they're a huge family in Germany.
		
00:21:08 --> 00:21:10
			So I was the only person that
		
00:21:11 --> 00:21:13
			went out of my way to, you know,
		
00:21:13 --> 00:21:14
			to marry
		
00:21:14 --> 00:21:16
			one of theirs. Wait. Wait. Sorry.
		
00:21:17 --> 00:21:19
			Germany. Where New York to Germany. What
		
00:21:20 --> 00:21:21
			she actually shows that she came as a
		
00:21:21 --> 00:21:23
			tourist. Uh-huh. She came
		
00:21:25 --> 00:21:26
			to the US.
		
00:21:26 --> 00:21:28
			And we met met her in my, one
		
00:21:28 --> 00:21:31
			of my friend's wedding. Marcella. So I'm like,
		
00:21:31 --> 00:21:33
			you know what? I'll marry her. She's he's
		
00:21:33 --> 00:21:35
			like, no. No. No. You cannot marry them.
		
00:21:35 --> 00:21:38
			They're the kingdom family. Okay. They are their
		
00:21:38 --> 00:21:40
			own tribes. Oh, wow. I'm like, you know
		
00:21:40 --> 00:21:42
			what? Yeah. My teacher always says that the
		
00:21:42 --> 00:21:44
			goal he said is the goal you get.
		
00:21:44 --> 00:21:46
			Allahu Akbar. K. Then he said the goal.
		
00:21:47 --> 00:21:47
			Determination.
		
00:21:47 --> 00:21:48
			Yes. Determination.
		
00:21:49 --> 00:21:51
			That's what the men. Yes. Man. So she
		
00:21:51 --> 00:21:53
			went to Germany. We find out that the
		
00:21:53 --> 00:21:55
			relatives in the US also, we find the
		
00:21:55 --> 00:21:57
			address. We flew to Germany.
		
00:21:58 --> 00:22:00
			Literally flew by myself. To see if you
		
00:22:00 --> 00:22:02
			could do Yes. Wow. Yes. My man. So
		
00:22:03 --> 00:22:03
			So my coach.
		
00:22:04 --> 00:22:06
			So I'm like, you know what? We found
		
00:22:06 --> 00:22:08
			out the house. We went there. Mhmm. Knock
		
00:22:08 --> 00:22:08
			the door.
		
00:22:09 --> 00:22:11
			Like, literally, that's exactly knock the door. It's
		
00:22:11 --> 00:22:11
			like,
		
00:22:12 --> 00:22:15
			I really wanna marry your daughter. It's, like,
		
00:22:15 --> 00:22:15
			listen,
		
00:22:16 --> 00:22:18
			0 chance. We can we cannot let you
		
00:22:18 --> 00:22:19
			marry your daughter.
		
00:22:20 --> 00:22:22
			It's impossible. Uh-huh. So we had a 2
		
00:22:22 --> 00:22:24
			day ticket. The next day, we're supposed to
		
00:22:24 --> 00:22:25
			come back.
		
00:22:25 --> 00:22:28
			K? So, apparently, what happens? So in in
		
00:22:28 --> 00:22:30
			a field in a in a in in,
		
00:22:31 --> 00:22:33
			soccer field, I see these big noises happening.
		
00:22:33 --> 00:22:35
			Kids are like fighting, you know, like playing
		
00:22:35 --> 00:22:36
			soccer. I wanna have a kid broke his
		
00:22:36 --> 00:22:38
			hand. So I ran, I'm like, the kid,
		
00:22:38 --> 00:22:40
			like, literally, like, his bone sticking out of
		
00:22:40 --> 00:22:41
			his skin, like, really bad. So, like, everybody's
		
00:22:41 --> 00:22:43
			like staying away. So I picked this kid
		
00:22:43 --> 00:22:45
			up, I'm grabbing the kids, I'm holding his
		
00:22:45 --> 00:22:46
			hand,
		
00:22:46 --> 00:22:47
			you know, put a little towel in the
		
00:22:47 --> 00:22:49
			clip. Oh my god. Let's go to the
		
00:22:49 --> 00:22:51
			call the ambulance. I took a kid
		
00:22:51 --> 00:22:54
			into Germany. Again, didn't speak a word of
		
00:22:54 --> 00:22:54
			German.
		
00:22:55 --> 00:22:56
			Sitting down with this kid that I don't
		
00:22:56 --> 00:22:58
			know who the kid is, going to the
		
00:22:58 --> 00:23:00
			hospital. They went to the hospital, and next
		
00:23:00 --> 00:23:02
			time they see him, a big, huge family
		
00:23:02 --> 00:23:04
			walks in here, like, my son is here
		
00:23:04 --> 00:23:05
			in the hospital. I was like, yeah. So
		
00:23:05 --> 00:23:07
			who brought him? He's like, this guy.
		
00:23:08 --> 00:23:10
			So guess what? That was my wife's family.
		
00:23:11 --> 00:23:11
			Oh.
		
00:23:14 --> 00:23:14
			That's
		
00:23:16 --> 00:23:18
			amazing. You know. That is amazing. But what
		
00:23:18 --> 00:23:20
			I want I mean, but but okay, so
		
00:23:20 --> 00:23:22
			what are the benefits that we can derive
		
00:23:22 --> 00:23:24
			from this in regards to masculine excellence? Yeah.
		
00:23:24 --> 00:23:26
			I mean, the first thing is that, you
		
00:23:26 --> 00:23:27
			know, the hadith of the prophet, so he
		
00:23:27 --> 00:23:28
			talks about the intention.
		
00:23:29 --> 00:23:31
			And he mentions for Hijra to
		
00:23:32 --> 00:23:34
			the person that has his intention to marry
		
00:23:34 --> 00:23:36
			her for this. His his Hijra
		
00:23:36 --> 00:23:38
			is for that his his migration
		
00:23:38 --> 00:23:39
			was for that intention.
		
00:23:40 --> 00:23:42
			Okay. So you intended to marry this sister.
		
00:23:42 --> 00:23:43
			You
		
00:23:43 --> 00:23:45
			I don't wanna capitalize on that. There's a
		
00:23:45 --> 00:23:47
			number of men that I've met.
		
00:23:48 --> 00:23:49
			When I asked them how they got married,
		
00:23:50 --> 00:23:52
			they said, yes. When I saw this sister,
		
00:23:52 --> 00:23:54
			I said, I'm gonna marry her. I've heard
		
00:23:54 --> 00:23:56
			this from more than one people I respect.
		
00:23:56 --> 00:23:58
			They just see someone and say it's it's
		
00:23:58 --> 00:24:00
			the one. Yes, bro. I'm telling you. They
		
00:24:00 --> 00:24:02
			say, oh, yes. She I'm gonna marry her.
		
00:24:02 --> 00:24:04
			They they won't take no for an answer.
		
00:24:04 --> 00:24:06
			It's like it's it's a certain connection that
		
00:24:06 --> 00:24:07
			they have with Allah
		
00:24:07 --> 00:24:09
			because they say I'm gonna marry her, and
		
00:24:09 --> 00:24:11
			I'm going to you obviously do it the
		
00:24:11 --> 00:24:13
			right way. Mhmm. And I'm going to I'm
		
00:24:13 --> 00:24:14
			going to
		
00:24:14 --> 00:24:16
			she's the one for me. I'm not gonna
		
00:24:16 --> 00:24:18
			say it's love at first sight. Yeah. But
		
00:24:18 --> 00:24:19
			it's something that you say, well, the way
		
00:24:19 --> 00:24:21
			I've seen her carry to the way this,
		
00:24:21 --> 00:24:22
			I want her to be the mother of
		
00:24:22 --> 00:24:23
			my children. I want her to be my
		
00:24:23 --> 00:24:24
			companion. That's.
		
00:24:25 --> 00:24:26
			That's the first thing.
		
00:24:27 --> 00:24:28
			And there's a level of confidence
		
00:24:28 --> 00:24:32
			internally Yeah. To even say that to yourself.
		
00:24:32 --> 00:24:33
			And that's why I think it's beautiful that
		
00:24:33 --> 00:24:35
			these words of affirmation
		
00:24:36 --> 00:24:38
			that you have Yeah. Couched within the belief
		
00:24:38 --> 00:24:38
			in Allah.
		
00:24:39 --> 00:24:41
			And then you have that this is going
		
00:24:41 --> 00:24:41
			to happen,
		
00:24:43 --> 00:24:43
			Right?
		
00:24:44 --> 00:24:44
			Then
		
00:24:45 --> 00:24:46
			flying
		
00:24:47 --> 00:24:48
			from New Jersey
		
00:24:48 --> 00:24:49
			to Germany
		
00:24:50 --> 00:24:50
			to just
		
00:24:52 --> 00:24:53
			knock on the door and
		
00:24:55 --> 00:24:58
			what was going through Your mind. Your mind,
		
00:24:58 --> 00:24:59
			body, and soul.
		
00:25:02 --> 00:25:04
			I'm like, you know what? First of all,
		
00:25:04 --> 00:25:06
			we said the goal we set is goal
		
00:25:06 --> 00:25:07
			we get. So I'm like, the other one,
		
00:25:07 --> 00:25:09
			like, listen, if it doesn't happen, it does
		
00:25:09 --> 00:25:11
			not happen. You know what? But I'll try
		
00:25:11 --> 00:25:12
			my best.
		
00:25:12 --> 00:25:14
			Okay? I'll try my best to see why.
		
00:25:14 --> 00:25:15
			So but I'll never give up.
		
00:25:16 --> 00:25:18
			I'll never give up. The confidence that I
		
00:25:18 --> 00:25:20
			was sitting in front of all these uncles.
		
00:25:20 --> 00:25:22
			Subhanallah. There's about 30 of them plus, like,
		
00:25:22 --> 00:25:24
			all of them, like, 6 foot tall, sitting
		
00:25:24 --> 00:25:27
			down like that, asked me some serious questions.
		
00:25:28 --> 00:25:29
			And I wanna make sure that I answer
		
00:25:29 --> 00:25:30
			each one of them. And one of them
		
00:25:30 --> 00:25:33
			asked me is like, how do I guarantee
		
00:25:33 --> 00:25:35
			that you're gonna marry her or keep her
		
00:25:35 --> 00:25:36
			happy for rest of your life? I'm like,
		
00:25:36 --> 00:25:38
			because I do have my sister also.
		
00:25:38 --> 00:25:40
			Mhmm. I don't want my sister to be
		
00:25:40 --> 00:25:43
			mistreated also. So I'll treat if somebody treat
		
00:25:43 --> 00:25:45
			my sister, I will treat somebody else's daughter
		
00:25:45 --> 00:25:47
			also like that. Coach, I love this. No.
		
00:25:47 --> 00:25:48
			I really love you know, and you know
		
00:25:48 --> 00:25:49
			why I love this? Because
		
00:25:50 --> 00:25:51
			right now, I was telling you earlier, you
		
00:25:51 --> 00:25:53
			have a lot of these apps where a
		
00:25:53 --> 00:25:54
			lot of the youth are going to get
		
00:25:54 --> 00:25:56
			married. Yeah. I was gonna say that they're
		
00:25:56 --> 00:25:58
			haram. Everything has its purpose. Right? But Of
		
00:25:58 --> 00:26:00
			course. I tell them initially, if there's a
		
00:26:00 --> 00:26:02
			sister you're interested in marrying,
		
00:26:02 --> 00:26:05
			go straight to her father. Deal with the
		
00:26:05 --> 00:26:07
			the fear. Deal with the risk. Yeah. The
		
00:26:07 --> 00:26:09
			rejection. I mean, you mentioned, you're sitting there.
		
00:26:09 --> 00:26:11
			It's it's it's it's no until it's yes.
		
00:26:11 --> 00:26:13
			And you're feeling the no right there. But
		
00:26:13 --> 00:26:14
			Yeah. Like you said, you're gonna keep going
		
00:26:14 --> 00:26:17
			because you're the right intention. Yes. You wanna
		
00:26:17 --> 00:26:19
			do the right thing. And that's important for
		
00:26:19 --> 00:26:20
			for men. If they want to do the
		
00:26:20 --> 00:26:20
			right thing,
		
00:26:21 --> 00:26:23
			you go humbly and you just continue on.
		
00:26:23 --> 00:26:24
			And if you want to make that sister,
		
00:26:24 --> 00:26:26
			you go to her father and you be
		
00:26:26 --> 00:26:29
			yourself. You have no fear because you're offering
		
00:26:29 --> 00:26:30
			something to the table. As a matter of
		
00:26:30 --> 00:26:32
			fact, I tell the sisters you're offering your
		
00:26:32 --> 00:26:34
			life. Yes, exactly. You're my wife and I'm
		
00:26:34 --> 00:26:36
			willing to die for you. So you're coming
		
00:26:36 --> 00:26:37
			to the table with that energy
		
00:26:38 --> 00:26:40
			and that that's that's that's beautiful. And I
		
00:26:40 --> 00:26:43
			think that determination is something that if you
		
00:26:43 --> 00:26:46
			notice every animal in the animal kingdom
		
00:26:46 --> 00:26:47
			has to prove
		
00:26:48 --> 00:26:49
			how much Subhanallah.
		
00:26:49 --> 00:26:50
			You know what I'm saying?
		
00:26:51 --> 00:26:52
			The the male has to prove how much
		
00:26:52 --> 00:26:54
			they're willing to go through for the female.
		
00:26:54 --> 00:26:56
			You know, something just out off the books,
		
00:26:56 --> 00:26:59
			like, they fight, they do whatever, they build
		
00:26:59 --> 00:27:00
			a a nest, or whatever it is, you
		
00:27:00 --> 00:27:03
			know? You need somebody that just asks a
		
00:27:03 --> 00:27:06
			girl or sends an email or gets a
		
00:27:06 --> 00:27:08
			a bad look from her father, brother, and
		
00:27:08 --> 00:27:09
			whatnot, and they just like,
		
00:27:10 --> 00:27:12
			oh, yeah. I I didn't feel right. Mhmm.
		
00:27:12 --> 00:27:14
			Yeah. What are you talking? What's your determination?
		
00:27:14 --> 00:27:15
			What's your determination?
		
00:27:15 --> 00:27:17
			Right. And by the way, there's something coach
		
00:27:17 --> 00:27:20
			didn't mention. His his wife is from, like,
		
00:27:20 --> 00:27:22
			a royal lineage too.
		
00:27:22 --> 00:27:25
			Like, that's why they're even even closer now.
		
00:27:25 --> 00:27:28
			Like, their great grandparents were were the rulers
		
00:27:28 --> 00:27:31
			of of, like, that region in Baha'u'llahara Wow.
		
00:27:31 --> 00:27:33
			Instead whatnot like Wow. So when you when
		
00:27:33 --> 00:27:35
			you when you actually
		
00:27:37 --> 00:27:39
			helped this child Mhmm. And you were at
		
00:27:39 --> 00:27:39
			the hospital,
		
00:27:41 --> 00:27:42
			when did you find out that it was
		
00:27:42 --> 00:27:44
			from the family, the royal family?
		
00:27:45 --> 00:27:48
			Actually, I find out literally, like, that moment.
		
00:27:48 --> 00:27:49
			Like, literally, I saw them, like, oh, because
		
00:27:49 --> 00:27:51
			some of the faces are familiar to me.
		
00:27:51 --> 00:27:52
			I'm like, okay, they're here.
		
00:27:52 --> 00:27:54
			Hopefully, everything is okay. The guy they they
		
00:27:54 --> 00:27:56
			are they are a kid. Exactly.
		
00:27:57 --> 00:27:59
			Wow. Awesome. Kind of a then how did
		
00:27:59 --> 00:28:00
			they continue from there? So you can say
		
00:28:00 --> 00:28:02
			so. That's exactly. You know what? Really? Yeah.
		
00:28:02 --> 00:28:04
			You know what? Really? Yeah. It's like, you
		
00:28:04 --> 00:28:04
			know what?
		
00:28:05 --> 00:28:07
			Do you mind if you can extend your
		
00:28:07 --> 00:28:09
			your flight for a couple more days? They
		
00:28:09 --> 00:28:10
			asked you that. Yes. And you already knew.
		
00:28:10 --> 00:28:11
			I'm like, yeah.
		
00:28:12 --> 00:28:14
			Oh, okay. Flying as gasoline. That's amazing. Yes.
		
00:28:14 --> 00:28:17
			Flying as gasoline. Coach, Wala, that's, you know,
		
00:28:17 --> 00:28:19
			this is inspiring to a lot of men
		
00:28:19 --> 00:28:20
			looking at it because because,
		
00:28:21 --> 00:28:23
			you know, many many of them won't know
		
00:28:23 --> 00:28:25
			how to approach it at all. Mhmm. Right?
		
00:28:25 --> 00:28:27
			Give up at the first it's not I
		
00:28:27 --> 00:28:29
			think it's unmanly to give up on the
		
00:28:29 --> 00:28:32
			first try. Right? Okay. You can't Yeah. Yeah.
		
00:28:32 --> 00:28:34
			Let's elaborate on it. Between the It's not
		
00:28:34 --> 00:28:36
			really merely to give up on the first
		
00:28:37 --> 00:28:38
			on the first try. You gotta cut you
		
00:28:38 --> 00:28:41
			gotta show that you you're like, no. I
		
00:28:41 --> 00:28:43
			chose you, and I don't just choose nobody.
		
00:28:43 --> 00:28:45
			Yeah. That's what I teach our kids, our
		
00:28:45 --> 00:28:45
			new generation.
		
00:28:46 --> 00:28:47
			You know,
		
00:28:47 --> 00:28:49
			set your goal and achieve your goal. The
		
00:28:49 --> 00:28:51
			problem we have with the youth now right
		
00:28:51 --> 00:28:52
			now,
		
00:28:53 --> 00:28:54
			they jump from one thing to the other
		
00:28:54 --> 00:28:57
			thing. They're not consistent in one thing.
		
00:28:57 --> 00:28:59
			Master one technique, learning it instead of learning
		
00:28:59 --> 00:28:59
			a 1,000
		
00:29:00 --> 00:29:02
			technique that you just did master it. So
		
00:29:02 --> 00:29:04
			just focus on one thing and be good
		
00:29:04 --> 00:29:05
			at one that thing.
		
00:29:06 --> 00:29:06
			And
		
00:29:08 --> 00:29:10
			martial art is honestly is one of the
		
00:29:10 --> 00:29:11
			best sports
		
00:29:11 --> 00:29:13
			for confidence, self defense.
		
00:29:13 --> 00:29:14
			And you can look at yourself in a
		
00:29:14 --> 00:29:17
			mirror that you know nobody can believe me.
		
00:29:17 --> 00:29:19
			Mhmm. You look at yourself in a mirror
		
00:29:19 --> 00:29:21
			like, says, you know, you can defend yourself.
		
00:29:22 --> 00:29:25
			It's like you survival of the jungle. Yeah.
		
00:29:25 --> 00:29:26
			Out there is a jungle.
		
00:29:26 --> 00:29:28
			Yeah. We know that. So if we can
		
00:29:28 --> 00:29:30
			defend ourselves, if we can walk with a
		
00:29:30 --> 00:29:31
			confidence,
		
00:29:31 --> 00:29:33
			if physically we are fit,
		
00:29:33 --> 00:29:34
			that confidence builds up.
		
00:29:35 --> 00:29:37
			So so so when you were in
		
00:29:38 --> 00:29:39
			in Jersey
		
00:29:40 --> 00:29:43
			what did you what inspired you to
		
00:29:44 --> 00:29:46
			as as the man of the household, right?
		
00:29:47 --> 00:29:48
			To go out and say, you know what,
		
00:29:48 --> 00:29:50
			I want to provide for my family through
		
00:29:50 --> 00:29:51
			teaching
		
00:29:51 --> 00:29:53
			what I'm competent in. Because it's very important
		
00:29:53 --> 00:29:55
			for a man to be competent. Yes. To
		
00:29:55 --> 00:29:57
			have knowledge of something,
		
00:29:57 --> 00:29:59
			and that knowledge and skill that he has
		
00:29:59 --> 00:30:01
			is what he's used to provide for us.
		
00:30:01 --> 00:30:03
			Whether it's for his family, whether it's taking
		
00:30:03 --> 00:30:04
			an axe and chopping the tree, which seems
		
00:30:04 --> 00:30:06
			very easy, but it's very, very difficult and
		
00:30:06 --> 00:30:06
			deadly,
		
00:30:07 --> 00:30:09
			or hunting. You're using that skill with your
		
00:30:09 --> 00:30:11
			own hands Yes. And you're opening
		
00:30:12 --> 00:30:13
			a martial arts
		
00:30:13 --> 00:30:15
			facility. You just you just do the work.
		
00:30:15 --> 00:30:17
			And that's what's so and that's what's important
		
00:30:17 --> 00:30:18
			too for, you know, a young man. You're
		
00:30:18 --> 00:30:22
			talking about focus, discipline. Yes. Right? The focus,
		
00:30:22 --> 00:30:24
			focus, focus on one thing and try to
		
00:30:24 --> 00:30:25
			eliminate those distractions.
		
00:30:25 --> 00:30:28
			And I think physical fit physical, you know,
		
00:30:28 --> 00:30:30
			particularly martial arts and combat sports, it's so
		
00:30:30 --> 00:30:33
			it translates over to defending yourself and defending
		
00:30:33 --> 00:30:35
			your honoring your family, etcetera. You see the
		
00:30:35 --> 00:30:36
			results of it,
		
00:30:36 --> 00:30:38
			which which is, which is which is beautiful.
		
00:30:39 --> 00:30:41
			So when you started this so you went
		
00:30:41 --> 00:30:43
			and started a dojo after that or a
		
00:30:43 --> 00:30:45
			martial arts facility? Yeah. A small very small
		
00:30:45 --> 00:30:46
			about
		
00:30:47 --> 00:30:48
			probably, like, 500 square feet. Mhmm.
		
00:30:49 --> 00:30:51
			From 500 square feet, we went to 3,000
		
00:30:51 --> 00:30:53
			square feet. From 3,000 square feet, we went
		
00:30:53 --> 00:30:56
			to, like, 16,000 square feet. Supernatural. Yeah. And
		
00:30:56 --> 00:30:59
			from 16,000 square feet, that building we end,
		
00:30:59 --> 00:31:00
			we we bought the building.
		
00:31:01 --> 00:31:03
			Yeah. And so we
		
00:31:03 --> 00:31:05
			we we were in a small town of
		
00:31:06 --> 00:31:06
			15
		
00:31:07 --> 00:31:08
			10, 15,000
		
00:31:09 --> 00:31:10
			population.
		
00:31:10 --> 00:31:12
			So we are one of the biggest school
		
00:31:12 --> 00:31:14
			in the state of New Jersey Wow. And
		
00:31:14 --> 00:31:17
			top 17 in the US. From that, we
		
00:31:17 --> 00:31:19
			got involved with the elementary schools. We got
		
00:31:19 --> 00:31:22
			involved with middle schools. Mhmm. We get involved
		
00:31:22 --> 00:31:23
			with the police department. They used to come
		
00:31:23 --> 00:31:26
			down and train with us. Mhmm. So any
		
00:31:26 --> 00:31:27
			of the SWAT members
		
00:31:28 --> 00:31:30
			tried to be in a SWAT team, used
		
00:31:30 --> 00:31:31
			to train with us first. So let me
		
00:31:31 --> 00:31:32
			ask you about this then.
		
00:31:33 --> 00:31:33
			You know,
		
00:31:34 --> 00:31:35
			was it
		
00:31:35 --> 00:31:37
			your family? Because you mentioned that everyone's a
		
00:31:37 --> 00:31:39
			black belt under the roof of your home.
		
00:31:39 --> 00:31:40
			Yes. Was
		
00:31:41 --> 00:31:43
			it that you sat down, you said, you
		
00:31:43 --> 00:31:45
			know, everyone in this house is gonna become
		
00:31:45 --> 00:31:46
			a black belt? Or is it that they
		
00:31:46 --> 00:31:47
			saw you doing it and they said, we
		
00:31:47 --> 00:31:49
			wanna be like First started my wife from,
		
00:31:49 --> 00:31:51
			like, you know what? I had an experience
		
00:31:51 --> 00:31:53
			from in the past from my friends that
		
00:31:54 --> 00:31:56
			their husband and I was 2 different career.
		
00:31:56 --> 00:31:58
			Yes. Whether we grow like this, whether we
		
00:31:58 --> 00:31:59
			grow like this.
		
00:31:59 --> 00:32:01
			So when we grow like this, we always
		
00:32:01 --> 00:32:03
			separate with each we from each other. But
		
00:32:03 --> 00:32:04
			we grow like this,
		
00:32:05 --> 00:32:07
			we will help each other. So I always
		
00:32:07 --> 00:32:08
			wanna be, like, a girl together.
		
00:32:08 --> 00:32:10
			So I don't want her to tell me
		
00:32:10 --> 00:32:12
			why you're coming late, what are you, what
		
00:32:12 --> 00:32:14
			are you doing. So if she's in martial
		
00:32:14 --> 00:32:16
			arts, she's training with me, we know we
		
00:32:16 --> 00:32:16
			are together.
		
00:32:17 --> 00:32:19
			We know, you know, if I stay in
		
00:32:19 --> 00:32:20
			martial arts, she would not call me what
		
00:32:20 --> 00:32:22
			I am right now. Mhmm. The first thing
		
00:32:22 --> 00:32:23
			I'm gonna ask her, I'm like,
		
00:32:23 --> 00:32:25
			there's 2 things in life that will save
		
00:32:25 --> 00:32:28
			you in life. Two things, swimming and martial
		
00:32:28 --> 00:32:30
			arts. They both save life. So I'm like,
		
00:32:30 --> 00:32:31
			I know you know swimming, but you need
		
00:32:31 --> 00:32:33
			to learn martial arts. Mhmm.
		
00:32:33 --> 00:32:34
			K. Because
		
00:32:34 --> 00:32:37
			you you never know. You know? Yeah. If
		
00:32:37 --> 00:32:38
			you ever get attacked, at least you defend
		
00:32:38 --> 00:32:40
			yourself. So she started with a self defense.
		
00:32:40 --> 00:32:42
			Slowly, slowly, slowly.
		
00:32:42 --> 00:32:44
			So she start training, and she got a
		
00:32:44 --> 00:32:46
			black belt under under me. Wow. Awesome. And
		
00:32:46 --> 00:32:48
			now, much or less, she loves it. She
		
00:32:48 --> 00:32:50
			loves every moment of it. She's like, man,
		
00:32:50 --> 00:32:51
			this is the best thing ever happened. And
		
00:32:51 --> 00:32:52
			then the kids, how did that happen again?
		
00:32:52 --> 00:32:54
			The kids, you know, like, from the my
		
00:32:54 --> 00:32:57
			kids started as young as 2 years old.
		
00:32:57 --> 00:32:58
			Wow. I have a video that they they
		
00:32:58 --> 00:33:01
			were crawling, like, they're they're they're, like, up
		
00:33:01 --> 00:33:03
			to the uniform. Like, you know what? This
		
00:33:03 --> 00:33:05
			is the only sports that saved my life.
		
00:33:06 --> 00:33:07
			That this is the only sport that gives
		
00:33:07 --> 00:33:08
			me a lot of confidence. I wanna make
		
00:33:08 --> 00:33:10
			sure that I will teach my kids
		
00:33:11 --> 00:33:13
			how to be combat sports. Mhmm. Whether it's,
		
00:33:13 --> 00:33:14
			you know, whether it's jujitsu,
		
00:33:14 --> 00:33:16
			Muay Thai, anything. I wanna make sure that
		
00:33:16 --> 00:33:18
			they learn any kind of combat sport.
		
00:33:19 --> 00:33:20
			Coming from the school, their lunch, sitting on
		
00:33:20 --> 00:33:22
			the mat, eating lunch. 13 years old, one
		
00:33:22 --> 00:33:24
			of my daughters was 13 years old back
		
00:33:24 --> 00:33:27
			then. She was a bully prevention seminar expert
		
00:33:27 --> 00:33:29
			in her age. She was 13 years old
		
00:33:29 --> 00:33:31
			teaching high school.
		
00:33:32 --> 00:33:33
			She was going in high school. She was
		
00:33:33 --> 00:33:36
			going to libraries, talk about bullying. 13 years
		
00:33:36 --> 00:33:38
			old. Wow. Her confidence level,
		
00:33:38 --> 00:33:40
			the way she talks, the way she represent
		
00:33:40 --> 00:33:43
			herself. Nobody thought she was 13 years old.
		
00:33:43 --> 00:33:44
			That's what it does. Yes. You know? The
		
00:33:44 --> 00:33:46
			reinforcement shade. So, like, the reinforcement
		
00:33:47 --> 00:33:49
			is just so and and what I noticed
		
00:33:49 --> 00:33:51
			is in the dojo, because I work out
		
00:33:51 --> 00:33:52
			at Eagle
		
00:33:52 --> 00:33:56
			myself, and, when I go and train, I
		
00:33:56 --> 00:33:57
			noticed the
		
00:33:57 --> 00:33:59
			the the vibe in there is is just
		
00:33:59 --> 00:34:00
			it's different from other gyms, because, oh, we're
		
00:34:00 --> 00:34:01
			all Muslim,
		
00:34:02 --> 00:34:03
			for the most part, there's
		
00:34:04 --> 00:34:06
			a lot of, like, this positive
		
00:34:06 --> 00:34:06
			reinforcement.
		
00:34:07 --> 00:34:09
			Go go do it. You could do more,
		
00:34:09 --> 00:34:10
			you know. I love it. And I remember,
		
00:34:10 --> 00:34:12
			like, even my son, like, couldn't do,
		
00:34:13 --> 00:34:14
			you know, 10 push ups at home. And
		
00:34:14 --> 00:34:16
			then I remember bringing him coach, well, I'm
		
00:34:16 --> 00:34:18
			like, yeah, he can't do more than 10
		
00:34:18 --> 00:34:19
			push ups. Well, like, I know for a
		
00:34:19 --> 00:34:22
			fact that there's skinny arms and, you know,
		
00:34:23 --> 00:34:25
			like, Bob, I can't, and he's just doing
		
00:34:25 --> 00:34:26
			his wheelchair. Well, no, the coach is like,
		
00:34:26 --> 00:34:28
			no, let's do it together. And they were
		
00:34:28 --> 00:34:30
			actually head to head, like, doing it together.
		
00:34:30 --> 00:34:31
			Together. He's more. He's more. He's a lot
		
00:34:31 --> 00:34:33
			more. And and I was like, dude, no
		
00:34:33 --> 00:34:35
			way you did it. I did 30 push
		
00:34:35 --> 00:34:37
			ups. Yes. 30 push ups. You remember that.
		
00:34:37 --> 00:34:39
			And I I'm like I'm like,
		
00:34:39 --> 00:34:40
			how how do you do it? He's a
		
00:34:40 --> 00:34:42
			coach. And then I remember I remember coach
		
00:34:42 --> 00:34:43
			told me something. He's like he's like, this
		
00:34:43 --> 00:34:44
			is what I do for a living. You
		
00:34:44 --> 00:34:46
			know? Like, this this is my living. This
		
00:34:46 --> 00:34:49
			is what I do. It's the ambition that
		
00:34:49 --> 00:34:50
			that that our our young men need nowadays
		
00:34:50 --> 00:34:54
			to do a lot. Ambition, ambition, ambition. But
		
00:34:54 --> 00:34:56
			focusing on something they like and then having
		
00:34:56 --> 00:34:58
			that ambition and just sticking with it, which
		
00:34:58 --> 00:34:59
			is the discipline,
		
00:34:59 --> 00:35:01
			you know, to to reach that point, SubhanAllah.
		
00:35:01 --> 00:35:03
			And one advice as well, Sheikh, for the
		
00:35:03 --> 00:35:04
			parents before you let them go,
		
00:35:05 --> 00:35:07
			make sure you
		
00:35:07 --> 00:35:09
			you help create that thing
		
00:35:10 --> 00:35:12
			for your child that makes them confident.
		
00:35:12 --> 00:35:15
			Mhmm. Okay. You know that, like, how how
		
00:35:15 --> 00:35:17
			was martial arts, self defense, it could be
		
00:35:17 --> 00:35:20
			other stuff, basketball, football. But you be
		
00:35:21 --> 00:35:22
			like, the parent has to identify
		
00:35:23 --> 00:35:25
			and enhance that because that's part of their
		
00:35:25 --> 00:35:27
			character building. And that's beautiful that you mentioned
		
00:35:27 --> 00:35:30
			that because the character building can be through
		
00:35:30 --> 00:35:32
			many different mechanisms. Right? It's because
		
00:35:32 --> 00:35:35
			ambition is ambition. Failure is failure, whichever realm
		
00:35:35 --> 00:35:37
			it may be. But, particularly, I have a
		
00:35:38 --> 00:35:40
			a love for some physical activity, and that
		
00:35:40 --> 00:35:42
			particularly in combat sports
		
00:35:42 --> 00:35:45
			because particularly for the for the man,
		
00:35:45 --> 00:35:47
			for the male, it's going to be he's
		
00:35:47 --> 00:35:49
			gonna be looked at as the overarching protector
		
00:35:49 --> 00:35:50
			of the household. Yeah. Doesn't mean that, Doesn't
		
00:35:50 --> 00:35:52
			mean that, you know, the daughters cannot cannot
		
00:35:53 --> 00:35:55
			well, I'd hope my my daughter's in boxing.
		
00:35:55 --> 00:35:56
			Oh, she's gonna join you soon, Insha'Allah.
		
00:35:57 --> 00:35:59
			But it's important to be intentional about that
		
00:35:59 --> 00:36:02
			that protecting mechanism and having that within your
		
00:36:02 --> 00:36:04
			mind that, you know, you are as you
		
00:36:04 --> 00:36:05
			mentioned, the words of affirmation
		
00:36:05 --> 00:36:08
			that they have and let that translate over
		
00:36:08 --> 00:36:10
			into the way that they think about themselves
		
00:36:10 --> 00:36:12
			and about others around them. I wanted to
		
00:36:12 --> 00:36:14
			ask you lastly because we're about to conclude
		
00:36:14 --> 00:36:14
			here is
		
00:36:15 --> 00:36:16
			the belt system.
		
00:36:17 --> 00:36:19
			You know, people would think that the belt
		
00:36:19 --> 00:36:21
			is only a symbol of your physical prowess
		
00:36:21 --> 00:36:23
			that, okay. Oh, he's a black belt. He'll
		
00:36:23 --> 00:36:25
			beat me up. Yeah. She'll beat me up.
		
00:36:25 --> 00:36:27
			But does something else come along with that?
		
00:36:27 --> 00:36:29
			Is it a license? Is it a a
		
00:36:29 --> 00:36:31
			shahada for something else? Is it a witness
		
00:36:31 --> 00:36:34
			for something else? I remember that
		
00:36:34 --> 00:36:36
			first when I got my black belt,
		
00:36:36 --> 00:36:38
			my teacher looked at me. He's like, congratulation.
		
00:36:39 --> 00:36:40
			You you earned piece of cloth.
		
00:36:41 --> 00:36:43
			I'm looking at, like, didn't you just say
		
00:36:43 --> 00:36:45
			piece of cloth? How many years? Like,
		
00:36:45 --> 00:36:47
			and suddenly he stopped, he's like,
		
00:36:48 --> 00:36:49
			black belt is just a color,
		
00:36:50 --> 00:36:52
			You have to be afraid how that person
		
00:36:52 --> 00:36:53
			earned that black belt.
		
00:36:53 --> 00:36:54
			Dedication,
		
00:36:56 --> 00:36:56
			focus,
		
00:36:57 --> 00:36:58
			Not giving
		
00:36:58 --> 00:36:59
			up. Injuries.
		
00:37:00 --> 00:37:02
			I mean, he list goes on and on
		
00:37:02 --> 00:37:03
			and on. Go to doctor's office, look at
		
00:37:03 --> 00:37:04
			the certificate.
		
00:37:05 --> 00:37:06
			What does it cost? How much does it
		
00:37:06 --> 00:37:07
			cost to build a certificate?
		
00:37:08 --> 00:37:10
			From King Code, probably, like, 50ยข, maybe, like,
		
00:37:10 --> 00:37:11
			dollar? Mhmm. $2?
		
00:37:11 --> 00:37:13
			But what goes behind the certificate?
		
00:37:14 --> 00:37:17
			The years of education. The years of hard
		
00:37:17 --> 00:37:19
			work. So black bill is not just a
		
00:37:19 --> 00:37:20
			piece of cloth that you put around your
		
00:37:20 --> 00:37:21
			waist.
		
00:37:21 --> 00:37:22
			It's
		
00:37:22 --> 00:37:24
			a lot of determination, a lot of not
		
00:37:24 --> 00:37:25
			giving up.
		
00:37:26 --> 00:37:27
			And this fact about black belt,
		
00:37:28 --> 00:37:30
			I graduate over a 1000 black belts. Over
		
00:37:30 --> 00:37:32
			a 1000. That's right. Yes.
		
00:37:32 --> 00:37:35
			Kids that they started as young as 3
		
00:37:35 --> 00:37:36
			years old
		
00:37:36 --> 00:37:39
			all the way to 60 something years old.
		
00:37:39 --> 00:37:39
			Wow.
		
00:37:40 --> 00:37:40
			Kids
		
00:37:42 --> 00:37:44
			that they become a black belt, 98%
		
00:37:45 --> 00:37:46
			of those kids
		
00:37:46 --> 00:37:47
			are very successful.
		
00:37:48 --> 00:37:49
			It's fact. Straight.
		
00:37:50 --> 00:37:52
			It's fact. The fortitude. Yeah. I meant to
		
00:37:52 --> 00:37:52
			fortitude.
		
00:37:53 --> 00:37:55
			Literally, every child that become a black belt,
		
00:37:56 --> 00:37:57
			we have a list of all those kids,
		
00:37:57 --> 00:38:00
			what they are right now. A lot.
		
00:38:00 --> 00:38:01
			CEOs, doctors, lawyers.
		
00:38:02 --> 00:38:03
			As a matter of fact,
		
00:38:04 --> 00:38:05
			one of the student, he come up to
		
00:38:05 --> 00:38:08
			me as a coach. A skinny kid walked
		
00:38:08 --> 00:38:09
			in as a coach.
		
00:38:09 --> 00:38:11
			I wanna be a Navy SEAL one day.
		
00:38:11 --> 00:38:13
			And dad goes, like,
		
00:38:15 --> 00:38:16
			I'm
		
00:38:16 --> 00:38:17
			like,
		
00:38:17 --> 00:38:18
			Andrew,
		
00:38:18 --> 00:38:20
			the goal we set is the goal
		
00:38:20 --> 00:38:21
			we get.
		
00:38:22 --> 00:38:24
			Whatever you're gonna do in life, my friend.
		
00:38:24 --> 00:38:25
			You know? K?
		
00:38:25 --> 00:38:26
			Marcello.
		
00:38:27 --> 00:38:28
			He's a Navy SEAL right now.
		
00:38:29 --> 00:38:31
			Oh, I see. You just goals we set,
		
00:38:31 --> 00:38:33
			the goals we Goals we get. Get. That's
		
00:38:33 --> 00:38:34
			what they say. And they say it every
		
00:38:34 --> 00:38:36
			day. Yes. They come and trade.
		
00:38:37 --> 00:38:40
			So it's it's I mean, there's so many
		
00:38:40 --> 00:38:40
			success stories.
		
00:38:41 --> 00:38:43
			Why? Because parents never gave up on their
		
00:38:43 --> 00:38:44
			kids.
		
00:38:44 --> 00:38:46
			Parents, like, son,
		
00:38:46 --> 00:38:47
			this is sports.
		
00:38:47 --> 00:38:49
			If you wanna quit, that's fine. Do something
		
00:38:49 --> 00:38:52
			else, but don't quit. Stick with it.
		
00:38:52 --> 00:38:55
			I see parents. You know what? Oh, my
		
00:38:55 --> 00:38:56
			my kid is improving. Oh, he's not improving.
		
00:38:56 --> 00:38:58
			Oh, let's kick him out. Let's let's do
		
00:38:58 --> 00:38:59
			another sports.
		
00:39:00 --> 00:39:03
			K. Consistency key to success. Mhmm. I see
		
00:39:03 --> 00:39:04
			parents are sitting down
		
00:39:05 --> 00:39:06
			like this, watching the kids
		
00:39:07 --> 00:39:07
			clapping,
		
00:39:07 --> 00:39:08
			cheering.
		
00:39:08 --> 00:39:10
			Those kids are 99.9%,
		
00:39:11 --> 00:39:14
			100%. They are very successful kids. Wow. Somehow
		
00:39:14 --> 00:39:16
			And then we have parents. They drop them
		
00:39:16 --> 00:39:18
			off when they're in in elementary school. They
		
00:39:18 --> 00:39:20
			pick them up when they graduate from high
		
00:39:20 --> 00:39:21
			school. And they bring it to us, like,
		
00:39:21 --> 00:39:23
			coach, could you help my son? He's 9
		
00:39:23 --> 00:39:25
			18 years old. You know, he can't even
		
00:39:25 --> 00:39:27
			he doesn't wanna spend a a moment with
		
00:39:27 --> 00:39:28
			me. I'm like, when was the last time
		
00:39:28 --> 00:39:29
			that you spent with us? I spent a
		
00:39:29 --> 00:39:31
			moment with him. Yeah. And then we have
		
00:39:31 --> 00:39:32
			a parents that we call our parents as
		
00:39:32 --> 00:39:35
			coaches. Yeah. They are the coaches. They are
		
00:39:35 --> 00:39:36
			the they are the sideliners. They are the
		
00:39:36 --> 00:39:37
			one who cheers.
		
00:39:37 --> 00:39:39
			Go, son. Come on. Let's do this. And
		
00:39:39 --> 00:39:41
			then when they grew up,
		
00:39:41 --> 00:39:42
			they're gonna give a fist bump to the
		
00:39:42 --> 00:39:44
			to the dad. And instead of like, hey,
		
00:39:44 --> 00:39:46
			dad. What are you doing over here? When
		
00:39:46 --> 00:39:48
			the kid grow up, they become the best
		
00:39:48 --> 00:39:50
			friend of their mom and dad. So last
		
00:39:50 --> 00:39:52
			words for the fathers that would say,
		
00:39:53 --> 00:39:53
			you know,
		
00:39:54 --> 00:39:56
			well, I don't know martial arts. I'll just
		
00:39:56 --> 00:39:58
			let my son learn it. Would you even
		
00:39:58 --> 00:39:59
			you'd advise him to come and sit and
		
00:39:59 --> 00:40:01
			watch even though he doesn't know anything about
		
00:40:01 --> 00:40:03
			the sport? What would you advise those fathers?
		
00:40:04 --> 00:40:06
			Lead by example. Uh-huh.
		
00:40:06 --> 00:40:08
			If you wanna go to gym, take your
		
00:40:08 --> 00:40:09
			son. You go to gym first, then take
		
00:40:09 --> 00:40:11
			your son with you. If you wanna go
		
00:40:11 --> 00:40:13
			for a jog, take your son for a
		
00:40:13 --> 00:40:13
			jog.
		
00:40:14 --> 00:40:15
			Be active, father.
		
00:40:16 --> 00:40:18
			Don't just be a sideline, don't do anything.
		
00:40:20 --> 00:40:22
			If your son transfer 1 hour, he transfer
		
00:40:22 --> 00:40:22
			2 hours.
		
00:40:23 --> 00:40:25
			This is this is how successful
		
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			this is how success starts. So I encourage
		
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			all the parents, if you don't know martial
		
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			arts, ask the coach, show you some basic
		
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			some basic move.
		
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			Every final jab cross, hold the pads. Go
		
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			to the park. Work with the child.
		
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			Start with the young age.
		
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			That's all. And believe me, they'll listen.
		
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			They'll all listen, bring it back to the
		
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			coach. Hey, coach.
		
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			We'll work with them. Who are you? Because
		
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			we trust we build a trust with the
		
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			kids.
		
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			Bless
		
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			you. Thank you. And allow you to flourish
		
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			and have branches all around, not the US,
		
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			but around the world. Thank you. Eagle Martial
		
00:41:06 --> 00:41:06
			Arts.
		
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			Thank you so much. Many lessons learned.
		
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			And plenty of advice for all of us.
		
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			Bless you too, man, for coming in.
		
00:41:18 --> 00:41:21
			And that is masculine excellence through the physicality,
		
00:41:21 --> 00:41:22
			combat sports,
		
00:41:22 --> 00:41:25
			going through those phases in life mentally, physically.
		
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			Nothing wrong with failure. That's only a means
		
00:41:28 --> 00:41:30
			for you to get better. And I personally
		
00:41:30 --> 00:41:31
			feel that combat sports is definitely the way
		
00:41:31 --> 00:41:33
			to go. Michelle, if you happen to come
		
00:41:33 --> 00:41:35
			to Dallas, check them out. It's Eagle Martial
		
00:41:35 --> 00:41:38
			Arts in Murphy, Texas right around the corner
		
00:41:38 --> 00:41:40
			from Epic East Plano Islamic Center.
		
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			May Allah bless you all, and may Allah
		
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			bless you young men and males to embody
		
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			masculine excellence.