Abdullah Hakeem – Parent’s Heart

Abdullah Hakeem
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The speakers discuss the deeds of parents and the importance of caring for them. They stress the need to acknowledge and value parents' responsibilities, and emphasize the importance of forgiveness and a strong mother to one's life. They also touch on the importance of not yelling at parents and not giving bad things to people. The speakers emphasize the need to be mindful of parents' actions and not yelling at them.

AI: Summary ©

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			All praise is due to Allah subhanahu wa
		
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			ta'ala.
		
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			We praise him,
		
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			we seek his help, and we ask for
		
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			his forgiveness.
		
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			We praise and thank Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
		
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			for once again allowing us all to be
		
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			gathered here today
		
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			for.
		
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			I ask Allah
		
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			to bless each and every one of us.
		
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			And I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
		
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			to gather us like we are gathered here,
		
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			but
		
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			Before we continue, just please remember,
		
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			if you talk while the chutba is happening,
		
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			you may lose a reward of the chutba.
		
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			Even if you play with something in front
		
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			of you,
		
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			you may lose the reward of the chutba,
		
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			so please do not do so and listen
		
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			attentively.
		
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			Now, I was thinking of what to talk
		
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			about today,
		
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			and I was thinking, okay, it's after Ramadan,
		
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			and maybe, you know, we should be speaking
		
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			a little bit about the deeds that we
		
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			can do after the month of Ramadan.
		
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			But then,
		
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			I thought that we just had our parent
		
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			teacher interviews, and I thought I wanted to
		
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			speak a little bit about that.
		
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			Because something
		
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			amazing happens without
		
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			us realizing with our parents.
		
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			A lot of the students, a lot of
		
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			the children don't know this when it comes
		
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			to their parents, or they may know any
		
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			theory, but they don't understand it.
		
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			Your parents
		
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			were here yesterday and the day before yesterday
		
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			because they really care for you,
		
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			and they want to know your progress, how
		
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			you're going,
		
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			what's happening with you in school,
		
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			your academic level, your behavior level,
		
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			because they feel and they are responsible for
		
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			you. They are your parents,
		
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			and they want to make sure
		
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			that you are in the right place, that
		
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			you are learning well, that you have a
		
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			bright future ahead of you.
		
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			They are concerned about you
		
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			because they know that on the day of
		
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			judgement, parents will be asked about their children.
		
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			How they raise their children,
		
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			where they have placed them for education and
		
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			so on and so forth.
		
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			That's why your parents came yesterday
		
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			and the day before.
		
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			But something you don't realize,
		
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			there was
		
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			many parents that I saw
		
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			and there were 2 parents in particular
		
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			that, you know, subhanAllah, opened my eyes a
		
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			lot. And I wanted to share
		
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			my experience with you. Now you don't know
		
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			who these parents are. That child wasn't even
		
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			there with the mother. But just to show
		
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			you,
		
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			you know, the the depths of what your
		
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			parents and how they think.
		
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			There was one mother who was with me,
		
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			and I was speaking to her,
		
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			and I was mentioning to her that, you
		
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			know, your son in the past, you know,
		
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			he was a little bit disruptive in class.
		
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			He would disrespect. He would, you know, so
		
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			so on and so forth. But I said,
		
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			subhanallah,
		
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			your son has shown a lot of signs
		
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			of maturity.
		
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			You know, and I said that I'm so
		
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			pleased to see him how he is this
		
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			year
		
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			and, you know, to see him grow into
		
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			a man that is becoming.
		
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			And one thing I said was, I am
		
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			very very proud of him.
		
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			As soon as I said that, she burst
		
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			into tears.
		
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			She started to cry
		
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			and she said something. She said, you know,
		
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			our children
		
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			will never understand
		
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			the hearts of their parents.
		
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			They will not understand,
		
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			you know, how much we care for them,
		
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			how much we love them, how much we
		
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			sacrifice for them.
		
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			They will not understand. I said, sister,
		
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			they will understand,
		
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			but they will understand it when they become
		
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			parents themselves.
		
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			They will only understand they might know in
		
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			theory,
		
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			but they will not understand it unless and
		
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			until they become parents.
		
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			And it's the it's the fact, it's the
		
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			truth.
		
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			Your parents care about you so much.
		
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			And that's why I thought today I wanted
		
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			to speak a little bit little bit about
		
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			parents. We know ayaats. We know a hadith
		
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			of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam in
		
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			regards to parents.
		
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			We know how we should be dealing with
		
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			them. But I want you to understand
		
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			the value of having parents in your life,
		
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			especially your mothers. Not disregarding the fathers, but
		
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			especially your mothers.
		
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			The how the the care that your mothers
		
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			have for you, and of course, the sacrifices
		
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			that your fathers do for you. It's very,
		
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			very important to care for that.
		
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			Another parent that I saw,
		
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			she she was talking about her other son,
		
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			already graduated, already working, you know, living living
		
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			his life. And she was saying, I thought
		
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			that my son has gone astray.
		
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			I thought that that's it. You know, I've
		
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			done what I could. I've made dua to
		
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			Allah, and it seemed like Allah didn't answer
		
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			my dua. And I was feeling I had
		
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			this fear that I'm gonna lose him.
		
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			But then she said to me that, subhanAllah,
		
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			his life changed completely.
		
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			He is respecting me. He is listening to
		
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			me. And she said that recently, he came
		
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			up to me and he apologized
		
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			for everything that he did for many years.
		
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			He said, mom, all the things that I've
		
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			done in the past,
		
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			I want to sincerely apologize for it. And
		
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			he gave her a hug.
		
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			He gave her a hug and he said,
		
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			mom,
		
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			I'm going to make sure
		
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			that your life that I'm gonna take care
		
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			of you, your life becomes beautiful. You're gonna
		
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			be happy with me. You're gonna be proud
		
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			of me. She was telling me this, and
		
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			she was crying and she's telling me this.
		
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			Because they no one understands the hearts of
		
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			mothers, the hearts of parents.
		
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			That's why they were there yesterday. That's why
		
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			they were there on Wednesday because they care
		
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			about you. They love you. And this is
		
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			why Allah ta'ala talks about them so much
		
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			in the Quran. This is why the prophet
		
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			shalallahu alaihi wa sallam speaks about parents in
		
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			so many hadith.
		
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			And we need to really understand this.
		
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			Because if we disrespect our parents,
		
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			then really we are in shaky waters. You
		
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			know, we're gonna drown. We're not it's not
		
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			gonna look good on the day of judgement.
		
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			That's the status of parents in Islam. And
		
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			we must acknowledge this.
		
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			Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in the Quran, he
		
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			says,
		
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			We all should memorize this verse.
		
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			Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, he gives us a
		
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			command.
		
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			He says to us, and your Lord has
		
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			decreed,
		
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			it's a command from Allah, that you worship
		
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			none except for Him.
		
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			And to your parents,
		
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			be jutiful towards them. Give them good treatment.
		
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			Whether one of them or both of them
		
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			attain old age
		
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			with you, then do not say any words
		
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			of disrespect.
		
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			An example is off.
		
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			Don't even utter,
		
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			you know, words that show that you're upset
		
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			with them. And you know when we speak
		
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			to students
		
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			and we talk about parents relationship with their
		
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			with their kids and so on, students they
		
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			say something to me. They say, my parents
		
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			never understand me. My parents don't get me.
		
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			I know that to some extent that's true
		
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			because it's a different generation.
		
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			They maybe came from overseas,
		
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			They don't know what you're going through in
		
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			this generation.
		
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			To to some extent, that's true.
		
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			But we forget and we fail to realize
		
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			that they really care for
		
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			you. You know, sometimes parents and you probably
		
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			heard this saying before. Parents are sometimes cruel
		
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			to be kind.
		
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			Right? We know this. Sometimes parents have to
		
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			give certain punishments
		
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			so that you can be fixed.
		
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			It can help you to understand.
		
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			And that's the way you may be grounded.
		
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			You may get in trouble. You may your
		
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			privileges may be taken away from you, but
		
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			that's because your parents care for you. That's
		
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			because your parents know that if you drive
		
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			too fast, you're going to crash.
		
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			Your parents are doing this to protect you.
		
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			Right? And our job as teachers is to
		
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			help parents realize what you're going through, and
		
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			for you to realize how much your parents
		
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			care for you.
		
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			So it's important for you to acknowledge this
		
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			and understand
		
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			this. So here Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala talks
		
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			about the importance of parents. Don't say a
		
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			word of disrespect
		
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			to them
		
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			at all, subhanAllah.
		
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			Because Allah knows that you're going to be
		
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			in times where you're not gonna understand your
		
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			parents. And you're gonna say they don't understand
		
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			me, they don't care about me, this and
		
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			that, and you're gonna start disrespecting them. Allah
		
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			commands, don't even say oof. Because what happens
		
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			is when your parents get older,
		
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			their mentality changes.
		
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			You're gonna understand the world differently. They understand
		
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			it differently.
		
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			But still don't disrespect them.
		
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			Because do not forget the time where you
		
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			didn't understand anything and yet your parents cared
		
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			for you.
		
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			When you were a child, when you were
		
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			a baby,
		
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			you didn't know how to walk.
		
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			Your parents were there for you when you
		
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			were in bed, not moving. Your parents were
		
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			there for you when you couldn't go to
		
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			the bathroom. Your parents were there for you
		
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			when you couldn't pick up the spoon and
		
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			feed yourself. Your parents were there for you
		
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			your first time you were walking. You were
		
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			talking.
		
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			Your parents did all of that for you.
		
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			And I'm sure a lot of you have
		
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			seen the videos where there was a man
		
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			and there was an older man, his father.
		
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			And the father kept asking, what is this?
		
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			He sees a bird. What is this?
		
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			The son, who is also older, he says,
		
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			it's a sparrow. It's a bird. And then
		
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			the father asks again, what is this? He
		
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			says, dad, I just told you. It's a
		
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			bird.
		
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			And then he says, son, what is this?
		
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			Dad, how many times I'm going to tell
		
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			you? It's a bird. You can't see it?
		
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			He's getting annoyed. Then the father brings up
		
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			the diary and shows, my son today asked
		
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			what is this and I said it's a
		
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			bird. When he was when he was a
		
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			kid. And then he said, my son asked
		
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			me again what is it? And he said,
		
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			it's a bird. And he said I repeated
		
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			it 3, 4, 5 times with love,
		
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			with compassion because my son is learning. But
		
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			then we get so frustrated with our parents
		
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			as as they are growing
		
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			old. Allah ta'ala tells us do not ever
		
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			say words of disrespect to them because that
		
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			is a major sin. So we need to
		
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			stay away from that. And then Allah subhanahu
		
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			wa ta'ala continues,
		
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			do not repel them, but speak to them
		
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			words of kindness,
		
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			always. Then he says,
		
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			He tells us to make dua for them.
		
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			A dua that we should say. And what
		
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			is this dua? My lord, have mercy upon
		
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			them
		
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			as they have had mercy on me when
		
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			I was young,
		
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			when I was little. Your parents took care
		
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			of you so much. In another verse in
		
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			Surah Luqman, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells us
		
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			to be dutiful towards your parents.
		
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			Your mothers and then he highlights mothers.
		
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			Your mothers carried you
		
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			for so long. 9 months, they carried you
		
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			in hardship.
		
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			They gave birth to you. And then for
		
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			2 years,
		
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			they weaned you. They gave you milk. They
		
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			looked after you.
		
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			Have we forgotten about that?
		
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			And then here, we think it's okay to
		
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			yell at our parents, to scream at our
		
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			parents. Our parents tell us, can you put
		
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			the trash can you put the trash outside
		
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			in the bin? And we yell and scream.
		
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			And we say, no, we have no time.
		
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			You can't get off your game and and
		
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			and help your parents around. How can we
		
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			do this as a believer?
		
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			How can we say this to our parents
		
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			if we are true believers?
		
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			So please understand the importance
		
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			of parents and make dua for them.
		
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			Always make dua for them. Did you know
		
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			when parents pass away,
		
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			the dua of the righteous child is accepted
		
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			by Allah?
		
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			The dua of the righteous child
		
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			is accepted
		
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			by Allah for his or her parents.
		
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			And while you're alive,
		
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			take advantage of the dua of your parents.
		
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			Because in the hadith of the prophet, the
		
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			dua your parents make for you is accepted
		
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			by Allah.
		
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			So just imagine, and inshallah this never happens.
		
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			But imagine you annoy your parents so much
		
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			and your parents utter something that is negative
		
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			towards you. They say something that is negative
		
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			towards you. That is accepted by Allah.
		
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			So we should be very careful. If we
		
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			really love our parents,
		
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			care about our parents, ask your parents. Mom,
		
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			dad, make dua for me. Make me Ask
		
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			Allah to make me the best child. Ask
		
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			Allah to make me the best student. Ask
		
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			Allah to give me
		
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			to forgive my sin. Trust me, you don't
		
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			even have to ask your parents, but your
		
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			parents already do that.
		
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			Your parents already do that for you. And
		
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			this is why it is so important, subhanAllah.
		
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			There is a hadith
		
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			where Abdullah ibn Umar radiAllahu anhu, he said
		
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			that one day This is after the prophet
		
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			he said, one day, I saw a man
		
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			doing tawaf around the Kaaba,
		
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			and he was carrying his mother on his
		
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			back.
		
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			Right? There was no wheelchairs at that time.
		
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			He was carrying his mother on his back,
		
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			and and he was doing tawaf around the
		
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			Kaaba.
		
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			And after And I remember,
		
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			7 rounds around the Kaaba is not easy
		
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			in the heat of the sun, and then
		
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			you have your mother on your back.
		
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			And then after that, he looked at Abdullah
		
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			bin Umar and he said, yeah, Abdullah bin
		
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			Umar, he said, have I
		
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			done my duty towards my mother?
		
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			Have I done my duty towards my mother?
		
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			Have I paid her back? I mean I've
		
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			carried her. Seven rounds around the car, but
		
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			that's a lot. Have I done my duty?
		
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			Abdulai bin Umar, he smiled and said, look,
		
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			you did good. But what you did was
		
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			not even equivalent
		
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			to the pains of death to the for
		
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			to the pains of when your mother was
		
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			giving birth to you. It's not equivalent to
		
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			that at all. SubhanAllah.
		
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			You can never ever ever repay
		
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			your parents. So think about what your parents
		
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			do for you. Think about everything that they
		
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			do for you. Appreciate it. Make dua for
		
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			them. And inshallah,
		
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			today, if you can, go home, give them
		
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			a hug. Say thank you for everything that
		
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			you've done and ask for forgiveness.
		
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			And you'll see your mothers and your fathers
		
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			have a soft soft spot. They're merciful.
		
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			They will forgive anything you do to them.
		
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			So do that inshallah and you will see
		
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			beautiful things happening in your life.
		
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			I will end off this chutba
		
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			with a beautiful story.
		
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			And it is it is it is a
		
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			story of a tabi'ayn.
		
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			So a Tabi'ain is someone
		
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			who has met and seen
		
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			the Sahabas of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam.
		
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			This man is known as Uwais Al Qarni
		
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			and he lived in Yemen.
		
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			He became a Muslim
		
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			when the prophet was alive, when the prophet
		
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			was there in Madinah.
		
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			And he really wanted to see the prophet
		
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			shalallahu alaihi wa sallam, but he couldn't
		
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			because he had an elderly mother that he
		
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			took care of.
		
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			He couldn't leave his mother.
		
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			So he was always there.
		
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			And something amazing the prophet said that
		
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			amongst people in the society,
		
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			there are people who are
		
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			low class, meaning
		
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			people think that they are low class.
		
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			But they are so high in the sight
		
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			of Allah
		
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			that any promise they make, any oath they
		
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			make, any dua they make, it is accepted
		
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			by Allah. Uwe Selkari was one of those.
		
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			He also suffered from leprosy, you you know,
		
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			diseases on the skin.
		
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			And he made dua to Allah if he
		
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			can cure him. And Allah ta'ala cured him
		
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			from that disease except for a size of
		
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			a coin. He still had a bit on
		
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			his shoulder and there's wisdom behind that. Every
		
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			time he saw that, he remembered Allah cured
		
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			him and he will thank Allah for it
		
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			all the time. He took care of his
		
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			mother so much.
		
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			The prophet
		
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			was once sitting with his companions. Umar of
		
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			yallahu an was there with him.
		
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			And the prophet
		
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			he
		
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			said, there is a man
		
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			from the Tabi'in
		
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			by the name of Uwais.
		
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			He is from a place called Al Qarn.
		
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			And he said he had leprosy
		
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			and he was cured except for a size
		
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			of a coin.
		
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			If he made an oath,
		
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			Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will fulfill that oath.
		
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			And he has a mother
		
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			that he takes care of.
		
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			He said to the companions,
		
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			if you see him, if you meet him,
		
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			then ask him to seek forgiveness for you
		
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			because he will be accepted by Allah.
		
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			Right?
		
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			So
		
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			people from other countries would come to Mecca
		
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			and they, Sahabers, would look for Uwe Salqarni.
		
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			Couldn't find him. Abu Bakr's time came when
		
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			he was Khalifa, no one could find him.
		
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			Omar radhiallahu and his time came when he
		
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			was Khalifa, couldn't find him. 10 years after
		
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			when Omar alaylan was Khalifa, after 10 years
		
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			Now remember, every year, he would ask any
		
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			caravan that came from Yemen he's always with
		
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			you. He's always with you. That's how much
		
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			they took the words of the prophet.
		
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			After 10th year,
		
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			Uwey salqarani came. So his mother already passed
		
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			away at that time. He came.
		
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			And the and Umar radiAllahu when asked the
		
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			caravan that came from Yemen, is Uweis with
		
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			you? They say yes.
		
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			And Omar was like, where? Where is he?
		
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			And then one of the one of the
		
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			person he said pointed to him, that's him
		
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			there.
		
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			Why do you need him? I mean, he's
		
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			No, he's not. Why are you looking for
		
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			him? He said, don't worry. Omar alayhielah went
		
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			to him.
		
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			He said, are you always?
		
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			He looked at him, he said yes.
		
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			He said are you from Murad, a place
		
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			in Yemen? He said yes. Are you from
		
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			Alukarin?
		
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			He said
		
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			yes. Are you the one who had leprosy
		
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			and Allah cured you except for the size
		
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			of a coin? He said yes.
		
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			He said can I see it?
		
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			And then he was very curious and then
		
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			he he showed him. He goes, that's it.
		
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			He goes, yes. He goes, did you have
		
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			a mother that you took care of?
		
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			He said, yes. And he's intrigued. He's like,
		
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			yes. He's like, you're the one.
		
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			You're the one the prophet spoke about. He
		
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			said, the prophet spoke about me? He said,
		
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			yes. The prophet spoke about you and he
		
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			told us, if we meet you, then we
		
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			have to ask you to ask Allah for
		
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			our forgiveness. So please,
		
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			ask Allah for my forgiveness.
		
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			And then he said, but you're Amirul mumineen.
		
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			You are the leaders and if there was
		
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			a prophet after the prophet Muhammad, it would
		
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			have been you. You should ask for forgiveness
		
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			for me. He said, no. No. No. No.
		
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			The prophet spoke about you. Right? You need
		
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			to ask me for forgiveness. So he asked
		
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			him forgiveness.
		
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			And then he said, where are you going
		
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			next? He said, I'm going to Syria after,
		
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			or to to to Iraq.
		
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			And he said, listen, Omar al Gaylehan said,
		
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			I'm gonna call the people there, I'm gonna
		
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			talk to the people there, and I'm gonna
		
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			make sure that when you get there, you
		
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			know, you are taken care of. He said,
		
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			no. No. No. Don't do that. Please don't
		
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			do that. I'm a simple person
		
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			and I wanna be simple.
		
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			And please don't tell anyone about me. Don't
		
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			tell anyone. He was very humble.
		
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			But Omar of the Alawam, everyone knew that
		
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			Omar was looking for this person. So when
		
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			people found out, they all kept coming to
		
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			him.
		
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			He finished his Hajj, and the hadith mentions
		
00:22:45 --> 00:22:47
			that no one knew what happened to him
		
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			after. He disappeared. He didn't want people to
		
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			know about him. He's so humble.
		
00:22:52 --> 00:22:53
			But why was he so great?
		
00:22:54 --> 00:22:54
			Why?
		
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			Because he took care of his mother. He
		
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			didn't even go and see the prophet because
		
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			of his mother.
		
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			The prophet stopped Sahabas from jihad
		
00:23:03 --> 00:23:05
			because their mothers and fathers were elderly and
		
00:23:05 --> 00:23:07
			told them that's your jihad. Look after them.
		
00:23:07 --> 00:23:08
			Take care of them.
		
00:23:08 --> 00:23:10
			So please remember this,
		
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			your parents are gold.
		
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			Don't forget this. And lastly, the hadith of
		
00:23:15 --> 00:23:15
			prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam,
		
00:23:16 --> 00:23:16
			jannah
		
00:23:17 --> 00:23:19
			lies under the feet of your mothers.
		
00:23:19 --> 00:23:21
			And remember, your fathers are the doors of
		
00:23:21 --> 00:23:22
			paradise.
		
00:23:22 --> 00:23:24
			So please remember that inshallah,
		
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			when you meet your parents, greet them nicely,
		
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			don't say bad things to them, ask them
		
00:23:29 --> 00:23:32
			for forgiveness, embrace them, and you'll see your
		
00:23:32 --> 00:23:34
			life change inshallah. We ask Allah subhanahu wa
		
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			ta'ala to bless our parents, and we ask
		
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			Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to make us all
		
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			beautiful towards our parents.