Abdulfattah Adeyemi – THE TRAGEDY OF A WRONG SPOUSE

Abdulfattah Adeyemi
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AI: Summary ©

The tragedy of the wrong spouse in the movie "The Morning People" is a tragedy that is part of one's life and a way to wake up. The misalignment of a couple's roles in a movie is also discussed, emphasizing the importance of finding the right partner and growth and fulfillment in relationships. The journey of finding the right partner is highlighted, and the importance of finding the right partner is emphasized.

AI: Summary ©

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			In a world filled with chaos and uncertainty,
		
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			The absence of a right spouse leads to
		
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			the tragedy of a wrong spouse.
		
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			May Allah save us from that.
		
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			The wrong spouse is not a person inherently
		
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			flawed or lacking virtue, but the wrong spouse
		
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			is somebody whose life script is discordant with
		
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			the other person's own, meaning that this discord
		
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			may manifest in myriad of ways.
		
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			Through goals, you just say that you don't
		
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			share the same goal in life, you are
		
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			not going to the same directions, you are
		
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			like a tree that has grown into two
		
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			branches, and these branches will never meet again,
		
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			or through personalities that mix as well as
		
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			oil and water.
		
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			Imagine when oil and water are mixed together
		
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			in a marriage, and like we normally say,
		
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			you can never bind what does not cling.
		
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			When you have chosen a wrong spouse, it's
		
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			like a mirror that is reflecting back not
		
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			just what is, but what could have been
		
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			had the casting been different.
		
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			You now begin to look at yourself and
		
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			realize that, no, this is not who I
		
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			am.
		
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			This is not who I am supposed to
		
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			be, and this is not who I set
		
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			out to become in life.
		
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			I want you to imagine marriage as if
		
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			you are watching a movie.
		
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			In the theater of marriage, the wrong spouse
		
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			is the actor who forgets their lines.
		
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			They are the wrong actors who step out
		
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			of sync with the choreography of mutual life
		
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			building.
		
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			They are just wrong in many ways.
		
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			They don't just resonate.
		
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			You know, they don't say the right words,
		
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			they don't do the right things, they don't
		
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			position themselves in a way that you can
		
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			resonate with them with matters of your life
		
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			in both modesty and matters for the hereafter
		
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			in terms of spirituality.
		
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			Allah Akbar.
		
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			You know, they are the ones who, despite
		
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			your best intentions, they cannot fulfill the roles
		
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			they have been given because it was never
		
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			theirs to play.
		
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			Imagine an accidental husband.
		
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			He was never ready to be married to
		
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			a happy woman that you are.
		
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			He was never prepared to live together with
		
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			a normal human being that you are.
		
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			And the other way around too.
		
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			Imagine marrying an accidental wife who was never
		
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			prepared to be a wife.
		
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			Imagine after marriage, she's still asking whether she
		
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			should cook for you.
		
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			After marriage, she's still asking whether you have
		
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			the right to tell her what to do.
		
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			After marriage, she's still asking whether you have
		
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			any say in the decisions of where she
		
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			goes.
		
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			That means she's not playing the role because
		
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			she's not part of your movie.
		
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			She's not part of your story.
		
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			That is exactly what it feels to have
		
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			a wrong spouse.
		
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			It's a tragedy.
		
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			They are the characters who, no matter how
		
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			much they rehearse, they cannot seem to find
		
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			their place in the story that unfolds, the
		
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			story of your life.
		
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			No matter how much they rehearse, no matter
		
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			how much they try to pretend, they cannot
		
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			pretend even to be good.
		
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			SubhanAllah.
		
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			They can't pretend to be generous.
		
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			They can't pretend to be upright.
		
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			They can't pretend to be truthful.
		
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			You know, they say you make it.
		
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			They can't even fake to be good.
		
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			As in, let's say they are even acting
		
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			their roles.
		
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			Even though you are not a nice person,
		
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			but you know you must be nice to
		
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			your spouse, they can't even pretend to be
		
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			nice.
		
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			That is a wrong spouse.
		
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			The tragedy of the wrong spouse is not
		
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			their lack of trying, but it's in the
		
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			fundamental misalignment of their very being with the
		
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			role that they are trying to fill.
		
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			It's a role that comes with a costume
		
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			that never fits them, in a play that
		
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			never feels quite right.
		
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			It's a part that is performed out of
		
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			a sense of obligation, out of sense of
		
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			fear, or the hope that perhaps with enough
		
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			effort the feed will improve, or maybe the
		
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			script will change, or maybe if we suffer
		
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			a little more, we endure a little more,
		
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			we, you know, we suffer a little more,
		
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			the performance will somehow become natural.
		
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			They can't do it.
		
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			They can't fit in.
		
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			Everything is a sense of obligation.
		
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			There's no, you know, there's no that innate,
		
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			that organic joy of being together, the organic
		
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			act of being kind towards each other, of
		
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			being merciful towards each other, that innate nature
		
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			to be empathetic and sympathetic to each other.
		
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			Rather, they become pathetic.
		
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			They just can't do it, unfortunately.
		
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			But the wrong spouse is also a catalyst
		
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			for growth.
		
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			It's a way to wake you up, because
		
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			they are the challenge that prompts introspection and
		
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			self-discovery.
		
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			If not for wrong spouses, many of you
		
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			will not discover who you truly are.
		
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			You will take life for granted, and then
		
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			you will not know what you are actually
		
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			doing with your life.
		
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			It is these wrong spouses who, they have
		
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			their own advantage.
		
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			They, like one philosopher said, if you marry
		
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			a right spouse, you'll be happy.
		
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			When you marry a wrong one, you'll be
		
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			a philosopher.
		
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			One way or the other, you'll gain something.
		
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			If you marry a right one, you'll be
		
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			happy.
		
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			If you marry a wrong one, you'll learn
		
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			a great lesson in life.
		
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			They are the ones, by their very wrongness,
		
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			they are the ones who highlight what is
		
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			truly essential in a partner.
		
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			They are the contrast that shackles the image
		
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			of what is desired and what is necessary
		
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			for a harmonious life.
		
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			The wrong spouse is the storm that tests
		
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			the ship.
		
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			They are the fire that tempers the steel
		
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			and the friction that polishes the gem.
		
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			Without hot water, really, the teabag will not
		
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			let out the flavor, possibly because you married
		
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			the wrong spouse.
		
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			That is why you are beginning to realize
		
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			who you are now.
		
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			Rather than kill the wrong spouse, you should
		
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			be happy that, well, both of you may
		
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			have made a mistake in marrying each other,
		
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			but Allah didn't make a mistake in making
		
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			that person to be your trial and the
		
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			source of your lessons in life that you'll
		
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			never forget.
		
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			In the end, the wrong spouse is a
		
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			concept as much about the individual as it
		
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			is about the partnership.
		
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			What I mean by that is, sometimes, each
		
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			of you is the right spouse on your
		
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			own, but you may likely be both wrong
		
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			being together.
		
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			Do you want me to say that again?
		
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			Each of the may be right on their
		
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			own, but what is wrong is they are
		
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			being together.
		
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			You are good on your own and he
		
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			is also good on his own.
		
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			But for both of you, right on your
		
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			different rights, these two right people can come
		
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			together wrongly.
		
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			It may be a wrong combination of two
		
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			right people.
		
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			That's what I'm trying to say in English.
		
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			It's a reminder that the roles we play
		
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			in each other's are not just about compatibility,
		
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			but about the growth and fulfillment that comes
		
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			from the interaction of two unique individuals.
		
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			To see how two wrong people can come
		
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			together to form a right relationship.
		
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			Sometimes, the two persons may be wrong on
		
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			their own.
		
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			Have you ever seen where crazy, crazy people
		
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			marry each other?
		
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			Husband crazy, the wife is crazy.
		
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			But somehow, when they come together, you just
		
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			be surprised that they are just good together.
		
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			They are just nice together.
		
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			And there can be no relationship that's better
		
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			than that for the two of them.
		
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			That's not all.
		
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			Look beyond the wrong.
		
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			When these two wrong people come together, sometimes,
		
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			you believe that they end up producing a
		
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			right generation.
		
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			They give birth to right children that would
		
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			never want to be like them.
		
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			They are going to be the description for
		
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			their children of who not to be.
		
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			They are going to be the model that
		
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			their children will not want to follow.
		
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			So, the children will go the opposite direction
		
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			and it will be better for them.
		
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			Allah is the one who brings the living
		
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			from the dead.
		
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			And he brings the dead out of the
		
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			living.
		
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			The doer of all he intends.
		
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			It is a testament to the fact that
		
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			sometimes, the wrong person can lead us to
		
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			the most profound understanding of ourselves.
		
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			And in that relationship, we find the strength
		
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			to seek out a role that fits not
		
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			just well but perfectly.
		
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			So, in the tragedy, there's a lesson to
		
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			be learned.
		
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			A cautionary tale that whispers the importance of
		
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			choice.
		
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			It serves as a reminder that the quest
		
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			for a companion should be a journey of
		
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			mutual discovery, not a hasty settlement and not
		
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			a blind gamble.
		
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			So, let us try and ensure that in
		
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			as much as we avoid the tragedy of
		
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			wrong spouse, we understand very well what it
		
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			means to have the right spouse or to
		
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			seek the right spouse.
		
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			Finding the right spouse is like discovering a
		
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			rare book in a big library and each
		
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			spine of the book you see holds a
		
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			story but you are searching for the one
		
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			that resonates with your soul.
		
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			It is like a gardener that is finding
		
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			the perfect seed.
		
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			The perfect seed that will grow into a
		
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			tree whose branches will provide shelter and whose
		
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			roots will intertwine with theirs creating a foundation
		
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			as strong as the earth itself.
		
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			It is like somebody has molded together the
		
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			seeds of lime, the seeds of lemon, the
		
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			seeds of orange, the seeds of other citruses.
		
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			They have mixed and merged everything together and
		
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			you are trying to find which is the
		
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			seed of the seed orange and which is
		
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			the seed of a bitter lemon.
		
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			And this is exactly what it is in
		
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			looking for the right spouse.
		
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			Which seed are you going to pick?
		
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			Do you even know the seed when you
		
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			see it?
		
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			For a person that is seeking to plant
		
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			a big tree that is going to bring
		
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			the good fruit, you must also study the
		
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			nature of seeds.
		
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			You have to go and seek for knowledge.
		
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			What are the seeds and what are the
		
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			kind of things that come from these seeds?
		
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			So that you don't go plant the wrong
		
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			seed, water the wrong seed, nurture the wrong
		
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			seed, watch the wrong seed grow and then
		
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			the wrong seed will begin to bear the
		
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			wrong fruits for you.
		
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			Finding the right spouse is like the blending
		
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			of two unique flavors that together can create
		
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			a taste that is exquisite and unparalleled.
		
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			It is the unlocking of a door that
		
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			leads to a path of mutual growth and
		
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			exploration.
		
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			It is the forging of a key that
		
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			fits a lock.
		
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			Long unopened revealing treasures that are untold.
		
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			It is the creation of the recipe where
		
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			each ingredient is essential and the result is
		
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			a feast for the senses.
		
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			It's like wanting to cook a special delicacy
		
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			and being able to find the right ingredients
		
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			to put them together.
		
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			I believe all of us know that you
		
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			cannot prepare a fried rice without rice.
		
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			It's the finding of a companion for a
		
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			journey where the destination is not a place
		
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			but a state of being, the journey of
		
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			your own on earth.
		
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			It's the discovery of a hidden path in
		
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			a forest.
		
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			You know you are walking in a forest
		
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			and then you see that there are three
		
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			paths.
		
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			One goes this way, one goes straight and
		
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			the other one goes to the left.
		
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			And then you are wondering which of them
		
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			should you go to.
		
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			Finding the right spouse is like choosing the
		
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			right of these paths and you ending up
		
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			at your destination not in another place entirely.
		
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			It's the meeting of two minds that think
		
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			as one and two hearts that beat as
		
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			one.
		
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			It's the finding of a compass that always
		
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			points towards home no matter where you are
		
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			in the world.
		
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			It's the finding of a partner who is
		
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			both mirror and window.
		
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			They reflect who you are and they show
		
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			you a world you never knew existed.
		
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			May Allah grant all of us this kind
		
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			of spouses and make our spouses like this.
		
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			It is like finding a partner who is
		
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			both the journey and the destination.
		
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			The person is your journey and the person
		
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			is also your destination.
		
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			It's the love that is both the map
		
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			and the treasure.
		
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			It's the discovery of a partner that is
		
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			both the storm and the calm.
		
00:12:22 --> 00:12:25
			A love that is both exhilarating and peaceful.
		
00:12:26 --> 00:12:29
			It's the crafting of a story where each
		
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			chapter is better than the last and the
		
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			ending is always better than the beginning.
		
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			Masha Allah.
		
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			It's finding of a partner who is both
		
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			the dream and the reality.
		
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			The partner is your dream of a partner
		
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			and the partner is also the reality of
		
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			your partner.
		
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			It's a love that is both fantastical and
		
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			true.
		
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			It is both fantasy and reality added together.
		
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			It's the discovery of a partner who is
		
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			both the challenge and the support.
		
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			It's a love that pushes you to be
		
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			your very best.
		
00:13:02 --> 00:13:04
			It's the crafting of a partnership that is
		
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			both a work of art and a work
		
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			in progress.
		
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			It's a love that is both perfect and
		
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			ever evolving.
		
00:13:10 --> 00:13:12
			It's the finding of a partner who is
		
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			both the sun and the moon.
		
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			A love that illuminates and soothes you.
		
00:13:17 --> 00:13:18
			It's the discovery of a partner who is
		
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			both the fire and the heart.
		
00:13:21 --> 00:13:23
			A love that is both passionate and comforting.
		
00:13:24 --> 00:13:26
			It's the crafting of a partnership that's both
		
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			a dance and a rest.
		
00:13:28 --> 00:13:30
			A love that is both dynamic and serene.
		
00:13:30 --> 00:13:32
			It's the finding of a partner who is
		
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			both the adventure and the homecoming.
		
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			A love that is both thrilling and familiar.
		
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			It is also the discovery of a partner
		
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			who is both the question and the answer.
		
00:13:43 --> 00:13:45
			A love that is both mysterious and known.
		
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			This person is mysterious, this person is known,
		
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			this person is hidden, this person is apparent
		
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			all at the same time.
		
00:13:51 --> 00:13:54
			It's the crafting of a partnership that is
		
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			both a song and a silence.
		
00:13:56 --> 00:13:58
			A love that is both expressing and reflecting.
		
00:13:59 --> 00:14:01
			It's also the finding of a partner who
		
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			is both the ocean and the shore.
		
00:14:03 --> 00:14:06
			A love that is both vast and single.
		
00:14:06 --> 00:14:08
			It's the finding of a partner who is
		
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			both the light and the shadow.
		
00:14:10 --> 00:14:12
			A love that is both illuminating and grounding.
		
00:14:13 --> 00:14:15
			It's the discovery of a partner who is
		
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			both the whisper and the shout.
		
00:14:17 --> 00:14:19
			A kind of love that is both intimate
		
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			and exuberant.
		
00:14:20 --> 00:14:23
			It's the crafting of a partnership that is
		
00:14:23 --> 00:14:25
			both a story and a history.
		
00:14:26 --> 00:14:29
			It's the crafting of a partnership that is
		
00:14:29 --> 00:14:31
			both a novel and a diary.
		
00:14:32 --> 00:14:33
			That's the kind of love that is both
		
00:14:33 --> 00:14:35
			a story and a record.
		
00:14:35 --> 00:14:39
			And finding a right spouse is the discovery
		
00:14:39 --> 00:14:41
			of a partner who is both the hero
		
00:14:41 --> 00:14:43
			and the sidekick.
		
00:14:43 --> 00:14:46
			A love that is both empowering and supportive.
		
00:14:47 --> 00:14:49
			It's a kind of love that is difficult
		
00:14:49 --> 00:14:51
			to explain, but it's a kind of love
		
00:14:51 --> 00:14:54
			that you have to position yourself to discover
		
00:14:54 --> 00:14:54
			when you find.
		
00:14:55 --> 00:14:57
			If not, this love will walk past you
		
00:14:57 --> 00:14:59
			and nothing's gonna happen.
		
00:15:15 --> 00:15:17
			And start your journey to a more meaningful
		
00:15:17 --> 00:15:18
			purpose-driven life.
		
00:15:18 --> 00:15:20
			Available for free on the App Store and
		
00:15:20 --> 00:15:20
			Google Play.
		
00:15:21 --> 00:15:21
			Join the community.
		
00:15:22 --> 00:15:23
			Transform your life.
		
00:15:24 --> 00:15:24
			Edit your universe.