Abdulfattah Adeyemi – The Emotional Burden of Polygamny

Abdulfattah Adeyemi
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The concept of jealousy is discussed in various culture, including the responsibility of men in shaping behavior due to their emotions and the importance of Polygamy, a belief in love that is recognized as a responsibility beyond oneself. Polygamy is a lifestyle for mature men who manage their personalities and their emotions in a way that is not just a means to support one another, but an energy-efficient lifestyle. The speaker also mentions the importance of Pol SG Amy for women who have a desire to maximize their own happiness and achieve their own goals.

AI: Summary ©

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			The emotional burden of polygamy, there's a feeling
		
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			of jealousy that you cannot do without.
		
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			This is natural, it is human, and there's
		
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			nothing you can do about it.
		
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			These feelings can be a source of emotional
		
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			distress, emotional cruelty, and a quest for exclusive
		
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			ownership of the man, or you destroy the
		
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			man entirely.
		
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			Let me tell you a story about jealousy.
		
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			There was this place where the princess of
		
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			the city, the princess of the place, has
		
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			interest in marrying one of the slaves in
		
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			the king's palace.
		
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			She fell in love with him because of
		
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			the way he was doing his things, and
		
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			on investigation, she realized that this guy was
		
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			a prince somewhere, but because of war, he
		
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			was turned into a slave.
		
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			Are you following me now?
		
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			She has so much interest in him, and
		
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			within a short while, the king got to
		
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			discover and to be an insult that the
		
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			princess marries a slave.
		
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			Why was the slave not interested in marrying
		
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			the princess?
		
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			The slave was not interested because they see
		
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			girl amongst the slaves that this male slave
		
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			has so much passion for, because on investigation,
		
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			that was also a princess from another kingdom.
		
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			She was taken as slave and brought to
		
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			this place.
		
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			They had started their love thing secretly, but
		
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			one day, the princess discovered that they have
		
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			interest in each other.
		
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			So she reported the matter to her father
		
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			that she doesn't like the way this man,
		
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			this slave is behaving.
		
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			The father already wanted to eliminate him because
		
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			he didn't want him to have anything to
		
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			do with the princess because of the stigma
		
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			and the embarrassment it will cause the reality.
		
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			So the king decided to deal with the
		
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			case.
		
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			How did the king go about it?
		
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			The king said, I will not just kill
		
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			him like that.
		
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			Let's turn the punishment to entertainment.
		
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			There's an amphitheater, this kind of place where
		
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			you put gladiators to fight.
		
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			You see people will sit around the sitting
		
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			area and there was a stage on the
		
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			ground and there were three doors only that
		
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			leads to the middle of that stage.
		
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			One door from which that slave boy will
		
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			be pushed in and the two doors, one
		
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			of them has a very ferocious lion that
		
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			will come out from there, the hungriest of
		
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			all the lions, ready to devour anybody at
		
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			any time.
		
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			But the second door is that slave girl
		
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			that this guy was interested in marrying.
		
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			What the king wanted to do, if he
		
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			should pick the lion, he will be killed.
		
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			If he should pick the girl, he will
		
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			be set free to go.
		
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			So his destiny was based on that chance.
		
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			The princess got to know of it all
		
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			and she found out from which door will
		
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			the lion emerge and from which door will
		
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			the girl emerge.
		
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			And she told this boy that look, I'm
		
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			going to give you the signal when you
		
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			enter into this place and if I do
		
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			like this, it means you should open the
		
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			right door.
		
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			If I do like that, it means you
		
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			open the left door.
		
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			By the time the boy was pushed inside,
		
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			he moved closer to the two doors and
		
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			he looked up to the princess and the
		
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			princess gave a sign and the princess did
		
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			like that and the boy was about to
		
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			open the door.
		
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			I'm asking you now, by the time he
		
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			opened the door, what came out of the
		
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			door?
		
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			Please tell me.
		
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			By the time he opened the door, which
		
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			came out of the door, the lady or
		
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			the lion?
		
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			If you say it's the lady, raise up
		
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			your right hand.
		
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			If you say it's the lion, raise up
		
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			your left hand.
		
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			You have to raise one hand.
		
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			Some of you are not raising any hand.
		
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			The lady or the lion?
		
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			If you say it is the lady or
		
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			you say it's the lion, it depends on
		
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			your own personal jealousy.
		
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			It depends on what you are going to
		
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			do if you are in that situation.
		
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			The one you choose exactly is who you
		
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			are.
		
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			So, is it the lady or the lion?
		
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			I wish your whole family were here to
		
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			see the one you chose.
		
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			Peace is the ultimate goal.
		
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			The responsibility rests mostly on men because a
		
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			man has to become what a woman already
		
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			is.
		
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			One of the greatest trials of a woman
		
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			is in how she deals with her emotions,
		
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			while that of a man is how he
		
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			deals with his reasoning.
		
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			A man has to prove his worth.
		
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			A woman has to preserve her worth.
		
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			Whichever one happens to you, polygamy is not
		
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			for everyone.
		
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			The Quran allows polygamy and there are conditions
		
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			and there are expectations and there are exceptions.
		
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			It is strictly for those that are able
		
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			and are willing and those whose circumstances predispose
		
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			them to opt for polygamy.
		
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			Polygamy is a belief issue that is mixed
		
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			with emotions.
		
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			It is a high level of responsibility that
		
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			a man has to carry.
		
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			If you are talking about emotional problems, please
		
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			consider the man also that is going to
		
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			bear all the brunt in this world and
		
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			the hereafter.
		
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			Polygamy is not the good stuff.
		
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			It is a divine provision but not a
		
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			compulsory injunction.
		
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			To enter a polygamous union is to acknowledge
		
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			that love is infinite in essence and love
		
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			will be divided in expression.
		
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			It is also to recognize that affection should
		
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			be sincere and will be shared in ways
		
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			that require grace and balance.
		
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			The immaturity of the mind, however,
		
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			sees it as a responsibility that extends beyond
		
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			itself to the well-being of all that
		
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			are involved.
		
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			Polygamy is for the mature mind.
		
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			It demands a capacity to be fair, to
		
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			be just and to be generous, not just
		
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			in material provisions but emotional availability and care.
		
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			It is for the mature because they have
		
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			learned to let go of selfish desires and
		
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			to consider the feelings of others.
		
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			It is for those who have developed the
		
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			skill of balancing time and attention without allowing
		
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			one to feel neglected while another one is
		
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			elevated.
		
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			Polygamy requires a heart that is free from
		
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			envy, a mind that is disciplined because where
		
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			jealousy creeps in, the foundation of unity may
		
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			crack and where favoritism is shown, the seeds
		
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			of discord are sown.
		
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			For a man, it is not just about
		
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			having the means to support more than one
		
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			household.
		
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			It's about having the strength to manage multiple
		
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			hearts with equity.
		
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			It's about the maturity to understand that each
		
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			wife is a complete individual with her own
		
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			needs, with her own emotions and her dignity.
		
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			It's the ability to manage their different personalities
		
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			with wisdom, to soothe their pains with compassion
		
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			and to share their joys without division.
		
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			For a woman who agrees to join a
		
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			polygamous union, maturity is required to face the
		
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			inevitable waves of mixed emotions, to rise above
		
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			insecurities and to find contentment in a shared
		
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			love.
		
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			She must be strong enough to cherish her
		
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			place without resentment and to acknowledge that loving
		
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			someone does not mean owning all of their
		
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			affections.
		
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			It takes a special kind of resilience and
		
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			anti-fragility to embrace a life where time
		
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			and intimacy have to be shared.
		
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			Yet, one's dignity still remains undiminished.
		
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			Polygamy is a practice that demands more than
		
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			just social acceptance or legal sanction.
		
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			It calls for emotional intelligence.
		
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			It calls for ethical grounding and spiritual strength.
		
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			It's for those who have the maturity to
		
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			handle not only the outward requirements of marriage,
		
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			but also the deep unspoken truth that lies
		
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			within human relationship.
		
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			It's for those who have risen above the
		
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			naivety that sees love as a possession rather
		
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			than a trust and a marriage as a
		
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			right rather than a duty.
		
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			In truth, polygamy is a mirror that reflects
		
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			the deepest layers of your character.
		
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			It exposes virtues as well as weaknesses and
		
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			magnifies the qualities whether noble or flawed that
		
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			dwell within the soul.
		
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			For somebody that is not mature, it may
		
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			become a source of endless strife and heartache.
		
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			For the mature, it can be a means
		
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			of growth.
		
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			It's called for nurturing virtues of patience and
		
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			generosity and fairness.
		
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			Polygamy is not for everyone.
		
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			It is for those who are prepared to
		
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			approach it with a heart that has known
		
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			humility, with a mind that has tasted wisdom
		
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			and with the spirit that seeks to uplift
		
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			others as much as yourself.
		
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			Polygamy is the lifestyle for the mature and
		
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			only those who have reached that state of
		
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			mind will find in polygamy the balance and
		
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			the peace, the tranquility, the harmony and the
		
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			spiritual fulfillment that it has to offer.
		
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			Polygamy is not ordinary.
		
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			It will bring out the best in you
		
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			if you do it wrongly, or it will
		
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			bring out the best in you if you
		
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			do it well.
		
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			It is a marriage to max.
		
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			It is an emotionally evolved lifestyle.
		
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			Distinguished ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the world
		
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			of matrimonial maturity.
		
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			Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
		
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