Abdulfattah Adeyemi – FINDING MR OR MRS RIGHT
AI: Summary ©
The concept of " love and mercy" is essential in achieving sustainability and happiness in life. It is difficult to keep it in control and love is what everyone needs and wants. Love is a combination of physical and mental, and it's difficult to measure the quality of a relationship. It is crucial to find the right person to marry and find guidance and inspiration in life.
AI: Summary ©
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Brothers and sisters in Islam, Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala has given us three ways to
look at life.
Three ways to look at life.
One is to be and to exist.
Allah has given us khilafah so that we
become vigilant of his on earth.
When Allah says to the angel, I want
to place a vigilant, a viceroy on earth.
And all of us, we are all representatives
of Allah on earth.
And Allah has given us the second gift
of wilaya so that we become allies to
one another, brothers to one another, assistants of
one another, friends of one another, supporters of
one another.
And that is why all of us, we
have that connection.
If everybody should go back to their mother's
womb, if I should go back to my
mother's womb, you go back to your mother's
womb, your mother goes back to her own
mother's womb, everybody goes back to their mother's
womb, one person going to another person's, another
mother's womb, if we continue like that, we'll
all end up in one single womb.
And that's the womb of our mother, Hawwa,
may Allah be pleased with her.
So I'm your brother.
You are my sister.
We are related.
We are connected.
We are all the same.
We are one.
One race, the human race, that's where we
all belong.
We are all parties to assist one another.
Except you don't have a belly button, then
you are not one of us.
If you do have, you may check if
you have.
If you do have, that means we are
all the same.
The only one that may or may not
have had a belly button was Adam.
Did he have or not?
Want to check the internet?
Did he have a belly button or not?
If he had a belly button, raise up
your right hand.
If he didn't have, raise up your left
hand.
If you don't raise any hand, you walk
out.
You walk out because you don't know our
father.
Did he have or not?
What of Hawwa Eve?
Did she have or not?
If you had, ladies, raise up your hand.
If she had, raise up your hand.
If she didn't have, brothers, don't raise your
hand.
Not raising your hand means, did you check?
How would we know whether she had it
or not?
Whether she did or she didn't, we know
very well that we all have, and that
is what has joined all of us together,
the first point of contact with our mothers,
the first point of connection with our mothers,
and the last to be severed when we
were to live independent lives on this earth.
The third one that is very important is
the concept of ziwajah, where Allah Almighty has
made all of us to be together as
husbands and wives, and Allah Almighty says, وَمِنْ
آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقُ لَكُمْ مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجَ لِتَسْكُنُوا
إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَجَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ
لَآيَاتٍ لِكَوْمْ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ Among the sign of Allah,
that is that He has created for you
amongst yourselves, your spouses, so that you may
find rest in her.
And Allah has put love and mercy between
your hearts.
Indeed, in these are signs for those who
can reflect.
Allahu Akbar!
Part of what makes us to be completed
as human beings is the concept of this
ziwajah, being married of the man to the
woman.
And that is what makes us to be
human beings in the first place.
When we say being, you are being a
human.
There is nothing to hide about being human,
and there is nothing to be ashamed of
when you are in the continuous sense, being.
And when Allah says, كُنْ فَيَكُنْ Be, and
it is.
The state of being is what is applicable
to us as human being.
And when we say human being, the being
part of it is a continuous sense, continuous
tense, just like we say walking, or we
say moving, or we say growing, or we
say loving.
You are a human being.
A human being is a combination of a
lot of things, and you are the exact
right combination of experiences, you are the exact
right combination of insights, of strengths and weaknesses,
and shadows and lights.
It is these experiences that actually qualify and
complete you as a human being.
But don't forget, the completion is not the
same thing as perfection.
You are complete, but you are not perfect.
To be perfect means you are existing within
a limited scope of human experience.
It means you have all of the light
and none of the dark.
It means you have no flaws, and you
don't have to struggle for anything.
But to be complete is like finding all
the missing puzzles, missing pieces of a puzzle
and putting them all together to form a
whole.
Complete is becoming what you already are.
You are a human being, so you are
complete as a human being, flaws and all.
And part of what completes us are those
things mentioned by Allah.
Allah had put love and mercy within our
hearts.
Let's speak from the love and mercy.
The world as we have it today, when
it comes to marriage, when it comes to
life, the world doesn't need more wealth than
it already has.
The world doesn't need more natural resources than
the ones Allah has already provided.
It doesn't need an additional sun or moon
or additional basins of seas and rivers.
It doesn't need angels to come and govern
the affairs of mankind for the whole world
to be a better place.
It is not a more advanced technology from
outer space or from some aliens that the
world actually needs now.
It doesn't need another app or another network.
What the world really needs now is really
basic.
It is simple, bare-boned, often forgotten in
the rat race, in pursuit of wealth, in
pursuit of power and fame and long life.
It is often compromised in the hustle to
outdo others in materialistic consumerism.
It is often neglected in building a life
ambition, in building a home and in nation
building.
What the world needs now is love, love
and mercy.
The home doesn't need the elaborate weddings.
The home doesn't need big mansions, a more
fashionable car, more modern gadgets, more wealth to
throw around, more looks, more beauty, more make
-up kits.
What the home needs now in order to
experience true joy, lasting happiness and sustainable peace
is love, love and mercy, pure old-fashioned
love that never goes out of style, ridiculous,
oozing, fearless, bold, unstoppable love.
Love is what we need and this love
that Allah talks about, sometimes it is hidden
and other times it is known.
How many of us here has ever felt
love before?
Raise your hand.
Have you ever loved somebody?
Has somebody ever loved you?
What does it feel to be in love?
Sometimes the love can be true, sometimes it
is not.
Sometimes it feels like fire, other times you
don't even feel it at all.
Love can be cold, sometimes love can be
hot.
Love.
It can be love at first sight, it
can be built over time, it can be
revealed, it can be kept secret, maybe returned
or sometimes turned down.
Love.
Something that can never be explained nor defined.
How can it be professed?
How do you articulate it?
It cannot be exclaimed by keeping it in
your mind.
It cannot be fully expressed by an articulate
tongue.
The only way is by saying words from
your heart.
Yet, it is better felt by the heart
than uttered in words.
And no two persons feel exactly the same
way about love.
Love is hard to find and even harder
to keep.
It takes time and effort to keep it
going, but you don't mind because you will
do anything in the world to keep it
forever.
It is waking up in the morning and
wanting to be with that person that you
love and going to bed feeling the same
way.
It's knowing that you want to spend the
rest of your life with somebody else.
That love is the only thing that's on
your mind all day and every time.
And it's a feeling so great that no
matter what anyone says, it will never be
taken away from you.
It's probably the best feeling in the world.
Faith requires love.
You can't have Iman if you don't know
how to love.
Love is the happiness you feel when love
itself comes around.
It's the sadness in your heart when you
know that love is not there anymore.
It's the safety you feel when you are
feeling scared.
It's the joy you feel when you are
feeling sad.
It's the hope you have when everything has
gone wrong.
It's the dreams you hold on to when
you are alone.
It's the way you sit there and think
of crazy things that can be expressed.
Just like the fish once said to the
sea, that you can't see my tears when
I cry, and the sea replied, yes, I
may not see your tears, but I can
feel your pain.
I can feel your joy because you live
in me.
Allahu Akbar.
But when you lose that feeling, what's going
to happen?
Love, as mentioned by Allah, Allah used a
special word for love that is akin to
marriage, to living together, to forming a family,
to having a relationship.
This kind of love, mawaddata wa rahma, this
kind of love is amongst the best things
in life.
It's not what you can see, you can't
hold it, you can't touch it, sometimes you
can't prove it, but it just manifests itself
in so many tangible ways.
It is loving the other person more than
you love yourself.
It has to do with putting the other
person first and giving all you can to
them and the relationship.
It means thinking of ways to please and
make them happy.
This special kind of marital love is the
greatest of all love, almawadda.
Almawadda builds with faith, it grows with sacrifice,
and it increases with time.
It stabilizes with trials, it thrives with worship,
it survives with trust.
It can make one to shed tears, but
leaves no sorrow behind.
It can make you to feel pain, but
leaves no regrets behind.
Almawadda understands when you say, oh, I forgot.
It waits forever when you say, just a
minute.
It also leaves when you say, leave me
alone.
It opens the door even before you knock
and say, can I come in?
And when love leaves, you can say thank
you for coming around.
Almawadda is not how you forget, but how
you forgive.
It is not how you listen, but how
you understand.
It is not what you see, but how
you feel.
It is not how you let go, but
how you hold on.
However, almawadda for relationship is not a padlock,
is not a cage, is not a prison,
it's not a trap.
It is not enforced, it's a willing sacrifice.
It is not demanded for, but given freely.
It is not supervised, it is voluntary.
It is a stage of tranquility, an abode
of peace, a feeling of fulfillment.
In ordinary love, very rarely do we win,
but in almawadda, even when you lose, you
still win, just for having the tingle of
loving someone more than you love yourself.
The joy is the opportunity to love somebody.
It is focused beyond the next person.
It seeks to please Allah through service to
your spouse.
It forgives in hope of Allah's forgiveness, and
it endures in the hope of Allah's reward.
It is the only thing that makes you
and affords you a constant companion, a good
friend, somebody you can share your joys and
sorrows with.
When things are hard like rock, when things
are soft like cotton, when things are sweet
like honey, when things are bitter as vinegar,
or deadly like battery acid, somebody to stand
by you in times of plenty and in
times of empty.
Come rain and come shine.
Somebody who shall always see you in your
best moods.
And from you, you cannot hide your worst
on and off against, worse and all.
Somebody who is ready to accept you exactly
the way you are.
Almawadda is what helps us to cling together
as couples.
Look for it.
This is the real love that Allah wants
us to put into marriages and relationships.
Warming each other against the cold of winter
and to seek out weather, sunlight, whatever sunlight
is still available, while we wrestle with our
pains and pleasure.
And when it comes to mutual mercy, the
rahma is taken from rahun, haun, and mimun.
Something that's akin to the womb of our
mothers.
Where we have all the comforts in the
world and we don't have to explain ourselves
for enjoying being in our mother's womb.
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu Akbar Kabira.
Allahu Akbar Kabira.
And Allah has made this rahma to be
one of His names.
So that, let us look at it in
your life.
You are the one that wants to get
into a relationship.
You want to get Mr. Right.
You've got to find yourself first.
You've got to learn how to love yourself.
You've got to learn to accept yourself.
You've got to learn to complete yourself.
You've got to look at your life and
see that some puzzles need to only be
fixed and put in place.
You can't be perfect.
If you are perfect, you are not real.
If you are real, you are not perfect.
Look at your life.
You have hoped before.
You are not perfect.
You have dreamt before.
You are not perfect.
Union in marriage is between two lovers.
And these two lovers, none of them is
perfect.
You've doubted.
You've feared.
You've had fantasies.
You've faced realities in life.
You've surprised yourself.
You have been surprised by others.
You've been disappointed.
And you have also disappointed yourself.
Many people have disappointed you.
You've done exactly what you wanted to do.
And you've done the exact opposite of what
you intended to do.
Are you perfect?
You have slept.
You have tripped.
You've been careless.
You've been forgetful.
Such that sometimes you live life on autopilot
and sometimes with full awareness of what you
are doing, you have consciously treated yourself badly.
You've wanted to finally arrive, but you found
yourself left behind.
You've thought you were a complete package, but
you found yourself an unfinished product.
You thought you were the real deal, but
reality made you feel like you are a
spare tire.
You've fallen flat on your face and you've
had to cover your face in shame.
You've applied yourself to your job, but rather
than be excited, you keep getting underwhelmed.
You've succeeded.
You've failed.
You have fallen.
You have risen.
You've got wounded.
You've got healed.
You have loved and lost in the game
of love and you've lived to love again
and again.
You've made smart decisions in your life and
you've made dumb choices.
You've stood in the shadows and danced in
the light.
You've been bitten by the long rods of
rainfalls and you've almost got roasted under the
heat of the sun.
You've been cold.
You've been warm.
You've sang the same songs in the bathroom
and you've had to cry to your pillows.
In your lifetime, you've learned to crawl.
You've learned to walk.
You've learned to run.
You've learned to pause.
You've learned to stand still.
You've learned to cry yourself to sleep.
You've whispered.
You've yelled.
You've kept talking and you've kept quiet.
Your talks have made sense and your talks
have been misunderstood and your talks have been
misinterpreted and your talks have even put you
into trouble.
You are not perfect after all.
You said just the right thing at the
right time and to the right persons and
you've said the things you didn't mean, things
you wouldn't want said to you and things
that you have even said that eventually have
altered your destiny.
You've been right.
You've been wrong.
You've been hard.
You've been soft.
You've been fearless.
You've been scared.
You've felt pride.
You've felt shame.
You've felt joy.
You've felt sorrow.
You've felt serenity.
You've been distressed.
You've felt loved.
You've felt unloved.
You've felt accepted.
You've felt rejected.
And the reality is that if one single
human being is complicated enough like this, how
then would two human beings be able to
marry each other with all these imperfections?
And like we said, all you need to
do is just be real and be complete.
Don't be perfect.
And now, how do you get that love
into your life that is going to make
you to be completed?
Not perfect.
Completed.
Many people have a lot of deals with
waiting for the right person to marry.
Waiting for Mr. Right.
Waiting for Mrs. Right.
Unfortunately, many people are waiting for the aircraft
at the train station.
They are trying to find a cow inside
a cow pee.
So many of them thought that when you
talk about compatibility, they think an ant is
compatible with an elephant.
What are you waiting for?
For some, they just have this belief that
someday their husbands will come knock on their
doors and say, As-salamu alaykum.
Are you waiting for me?
Some people have this idea that someday they
will just walk in to shop right.
And they will want to buy something.
They will have made the shopping.
It's time for them to pay.
And they forgot their card.
And this guy just walked up and said,
As-salamu alaykum.
In a world filled with chaos and uncertainty,
find peace, guidance, inspiration and wisdom with Abdel
Fattah Deyemi's official app.
Download the Abdel Fattah Deyemi app now and
start your journey to a more meaningful, purpose
-driven life.
Available for free on the App Store and
Google Play.
Join the community.
Transform your life.
Edit your universe.