Abdulfattah Adeyemi – Emotional Safety In The Home

Abdulfattah Adeyemi
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AI: Summary ©

The importance of purpose and engagement in life is emphasized, along with the need for a sense of direction and purpose to achieve goals and values. Engagement is essential in achieving a flow state and building a healthy relationship, as it is crucial for happiness and balance in relationships. Laughter and empathy are noted as positive emotions that help establish a safe haven for both parties.

AI: Summary ©

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			In a world filled with chaos and uncertainty,
		
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			find peace, guidance, inspiration, and wisdom with Abdul
		
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			Fattah Adeyemi's official app.
		
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			I am Abdul Fattah Adeyemi.
		
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			Emotional safety in the home.
		
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			Your emotions in the home is going to
		
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			guarantee you some form of safety in the
		
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			home.
		
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			Like we have seen, we have all of
		
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			these emotions all around us.
		
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			Let's see what we can say about some
		
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			of them.
		
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			One of the key aspects of Islamic psychology
		
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			and understanding is when you see what is
		
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			right and you try to promote it.
		
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			But for the mainstream psychology, they look for
		
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			what is wrong and they try to fix
		
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			it.
		
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			We get it just now.
		
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			They look for what is wrong so that
		
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			we can fix it.
		
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			But Islam looks for what is right so
		
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			it can be promoted.
		
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			So what can you promote in your family
		
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			as a couple that is going to make
		
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			your emotions and feelings useful for you?
		
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			Number one of them is purpose.
		
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			P for purpose.
		
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			You have to have a sense of direction
		
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			in life.
		
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			You have to have a sense of purpose
		
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			in life.
		
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			You have to know what gets you out
		
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			of bed in the morning apart from coffee
		
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			and apart from your phone.
		
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			What exactly are the clear goals and values
		
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			that guide your decisions in life?
		
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			What are the feelings that you have that
		
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			are connected to something that is larger than
		
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			yourself?
		
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			How do you experience motivation and direction?
		
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			How do you live a life that aligns
		
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			with your values and passions?
		
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			People who are living a non-purposeful life
		
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			or non-purposeful or purposeless marital life, they
		
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			will always have problems with their emotions.
		
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			It's like, okay, what are we even doing
		
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			here?
		
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			Allah tells us why we have come to
		
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			this world.
		
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			I have created mankind and jinn kind so
		
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			they may worship me.
		
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			Allah has a purpose of why he has
		
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			created us.
		
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			But why are you in that marriage?
		
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			Are you an answer to my why?
		
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			Do you fulfill an answer to my prayers?
		
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			Are you the something I'm looking for?
		
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			Am I the something you are also looking
		
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			for?
		
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			What is the something about you that can
		
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			fulfill the something about me?
		
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			What is the something I'm here to achieve
		
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			in this world that you constitute a something
		
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			that can guarantee me the something to achieve
		
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			the something that I'm here to do in
		
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			this world?
		
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			Are you my something or somebody else's something?
		
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			That's how you ask yourself the purpose.
		
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			What am I doing here?
		
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			Number two, engagement.
		
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			You have to be fully engaged and absorbed
		
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			in some meaningful activities.
		
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			It is being fully absorbed and engaged in
		
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			something that makes sense.
		
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			When time disappears, when snacks are forgotten, and
		
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			when your network data finished three hours ago
		
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			and you didn't notice, that is when you
		
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			are fully engaged in something that can give
		
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			you what we refer to as the flow.
		
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			The flow state is where hours feel like
		
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			minutes, and just five more minutes turns into
		
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			where did the day go?
		
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			It's like, this flow that you must achieve
		
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			in your life and your marriage is like
		
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			when you are reciting the Quran.
		
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			And you get so absorbed in reading the
		
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			Quran that you start swinging back and forth.
		
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			You start leaning forward and backward without realizing
		
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			that you are actually doing that as it
		
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			happened to you before.
		
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			You are reading the Quran and you are
		
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			just going like this, Bismillahirrahmanirrahim, Sayyiduna
		
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			Bismillahirrahmanirrahim, You are swinging and you didn't realize
		
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			you are swinging.
		
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			That is the flow.
		
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			What are the things, what exactly are the
		
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			things that constitute the flow of your life?
		
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			What is the flow of your job?
		
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			What is the flow of your marriage?
		
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			Is your marriage actually flowing?
		
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			Or you've got abscess?
		
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			If you are observing, we humans, you see
		
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			we have pipes all over our body.
		
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			The veins that carry blood is like a
		
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			kind of pipe.
		
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			And if it is flowing easily, that is
		
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			why you don't feel pain.
		
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			If it should stop somewhere, you have abscess
		
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			and you have pains.
		
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			Because we don't flow, husband and wife, we
		
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			don't flow together.
		
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			We don't gel together.
		
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			We don't move together.
		
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			We don't chill together.
		
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			We don't warm together.
		
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			Then you've got abscess.
		
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			Everything is standing still like somewhere in Lagos.
		
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			What are you productively engaged in that gives
		
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			you satisfaction?
		
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			The quality time and the attention that your
		
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			marriage deserves.
		
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			These are serious pointers to our emotional safety
		
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			in the home.
		
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			Do you flow in the home?
		
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			If you don't flow, then you will not
		
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			grow.
		
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			If you flow in the home, it's the
		
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			people that flows that can generate what we
		
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			refer to as flower.
		
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			Because they flow, they become flowers and that's
		
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			what we call flower.
		
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			If there's no flower in your marriage, if
		
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			you don't flow, you cannot grow flower.
		
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			You are going to be all thorns and
		
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			you are going to be pain in each
		
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			other's backside.
		
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			So that is engagement.
		
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			What are you engaged in doing that makes
		
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			you to flow and to grow?
		
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			Number three, relationships.
		
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			What are the supportive connections you have with
		
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			each other?
		
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			Who are you relating with?
		
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			Who are those contacts in your phone?
		
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			If you check your phones now, you will
		
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			have no less than 2,000 contacts.
		
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			You got many contacts on your phone, right?
		
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			The question is, what are they doing there?
		
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			Did you get these numbers or these numbers
		
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			got you?
		
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			Your friends on the phones, did you make
		
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			them your friends or your friends made you
		
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			their friends?
		
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			If we comb through all of these contacts,
		
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			in what ways are they related to you?
		
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			What do they do to you?
		
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			What emotional support do they offer you?
		
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			What mutual trust and respect do you get
		
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			from the people you relate with?
		
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			And do you feel safe with those people
		
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			around you?
		
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			Do you feel safe emotionally with your spouse?
		
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			Do you feel safer with everyone else apart
		
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			from with your spouse?
		
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			Then how do you relate with people?
		
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			Why is everyone trying to avoid you?
		
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			Will it be that you are the toxic
		
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			one in the relationship?
		
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			You got to check yourself.
		
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			If something is wrong with this relationship, then
		
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			you will not be emotionally safe in that
		
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			relationship.
		
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			What are you relating with each other for?
		
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			On what basis are you cordial to each
		
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			other?
		
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			In what basis are you cordially living together?
		
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			When there's a cord that connects the mother
		
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			to the son, you see the flow and
		
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			you can understand that kind of relationship of
		
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			nurturing.
		
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			But this cord between you and your husband
		
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			and you and your wife, what does it
		
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			do?
		
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			What does it pass?
		
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			What do you pass to one another as
		
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			a couple?
		
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			And when there's this cord, we say you
		
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			are in accord with one another.
		
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			But when this cord has problems, we say
		
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			you have marital discord.
		
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			And when there's marital discord, anything can happen
		
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			from there.
		
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			Mind it very well.
		
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			If you are cordial with people that give
		
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			you emotional rollercoaster, that don't give you peace
		
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			of mind, it means it's not working.
		
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			That marriage is not working anymore.
		
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			Then what about M?
		
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			That's the meaning.
		
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			Finding significance and purpose in life experience.
		
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			What is the meaning of your life?
		
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			What's the point of all this?
		
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			Sometimes you discover that you are preoccupied with
		
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			things that are none of your business.
		
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			In marriage.
		
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			And sometimes you feel like, who sent me
		
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			here?
		
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			What am I doing in this marriage?
		
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			Who sent me to come and carry this
		
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			load that's not my own?
		
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			Life's purpose involves uncovering the reasons you are
		
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			here.
		
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			Besides paying school fees and wondering what to
		
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			cook for supper, there should be something more
		
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			important in your life that you should be
		
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			doing.
		
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			What is the meaning of this marriage of
		
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			yours?
		
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			And A, for accomplishment.
		
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			Do you know that growing old is a
		
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			trap?
		
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			Have you ever thought of that?
		
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			You just be like, exactly what have I
		
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			been doing with my life?
		
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			And you can't go back to be young
		
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			again.
		
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			So, adulting is 90% pretending that you
		
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			know what you are doing.
		
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			Most of the time we just think we
		
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			have it all figured out.
		
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			Until when you get old, then you see
		
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			what you have achieved, you see what you
		
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			have gathered, you see what you have collected,
		
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			you see what you have been busy doing,
		
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			and then you feel like you have been
		
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			scammed big time.
		
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			Yes, life has scammed many of us because
		
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			we don't know that we are not accomplishing
		
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			anything.
		
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			In your marriage, what do you do?
		
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			What do you celebrate?
		
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			What do you accomplish?
		
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			Do you read Quran together as husband and
		
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			wife?
		
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			Do you fast and break your fast together
		
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			on Mondays and Thursdays?
		
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			Do you gather some money and donate some
		
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			to the orphanage as a couple?
		
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			When was the last time you ever bought
		
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			pen for children in early year primary schools
		
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			as a matter of Sadaqah to them?
		
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			If you don't have that sense of accomplishment
		
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			of what we are achieving together as husband
		
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			and wife, then you are not going to
		
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			emotionally stay.
		
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			And then nurturing.
		
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			How do we nurture each other?
		
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			You cannot pour from an empty cup.
		
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			You cannot give what you don't have.
		
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			If you have a list of the people
		
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			that you should care about, make sure you
		
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			are number one on that list.
		
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			If you don't know how to take care
		
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			of yourself, you can't take care of anyone.
		
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			If you don't know how to enjoy life,
		
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			you cannot bring enjoyment to any other person.
		
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			If you don't know how to be happy,
		
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			you can't make anybody to be happy.
		
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			So you got to have your own emotions
		
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			and you got to learn how to deal
		
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			with your emotions.
		
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			You don't expect your husband to be the
		
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			one to come and sit down and listen
		
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			three hours for you to be ranting and
		
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			complaining about your feminine, female, cheeky, cheeky things.
		
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			No, your husband is not your friend, he
		
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			is your husband.
		
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			So many of you complain, he doesn't listen
		
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			to me, he doesn't have time to hear
		
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			me out.
		
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			He is not a woman.
		
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			Look for ladies like you and go and
		
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			emote in their presence.
		
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			You don't expect your husband to deal with
		
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			your PMS.  You don't expect your husband to
		
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			be the one to sit you down, watch
		
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			you cry, rant over things and then you
		
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			think, okay, most men don't have that time
		
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			because they are not created for that.
		
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			Look for a counsellor or get a mirror
		
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			and cry to the mirror.
		
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			Yes, cry to the mirror and take selfie
		
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			while you are crying.
		
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			So you will be like, how do I
		
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			look, how do I look crying like this?
		
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			I'm crying over money, I'm crying over life,
		
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			I'm crying over my feelings, I'm crying over
		
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			my hormonal changes, I'm crying over my menses,
		
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			I'm crying over my babies.
		
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			Cry my sister, get a bucket, cry it
		
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			full, you will be alright.
		
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			So in other words, if you can't take
		
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			care of your emotions, you can't expect people
		
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			to do it for you all the time.
		
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			So sisters, deal with it on your own
		
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			as a woman.
		
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			Look for ladies that understand what we are
		
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			talking about.
		
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			Stop putting all on your husband.
		
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			If you want to be happy, that's what
		
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			I'm saying.
		
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			If you want to have emotional balance, you
		
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			got to take care of that.
		
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			Brothers too, well brothers don't emote much, but
		
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			we have our own ways of doing our
		
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			things.
		
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			We have our brother's codes.
		
00:13:00 --> 00:13:02
			Don't go home and start putting all your
		
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			emotions on your wife.
		
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			Go to the masjid, see the imam or
		
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			the muadin, see amir.
		
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			Talk to them so that they can remove
		
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			some of the things that they have in
		
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			your mind.
		
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			Don't go home and be frowning and burning
		
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			your face and behaving like a lion.
		
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			Then you go home, people talk to you,
		
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			answer with your nose.
		
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			Then you are not pleasant.
		
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			Your wife is happy, she is singing, she
		
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			is dancing, you get her and say, don't
		
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			you have better things to do?
		
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			Excuse me, what's your business?
		
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			Keep your own emotion aside.
		
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			Let this woman have a nice time.
		
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			So don't attack each other's emotions.
		
00:13:36 --> 00:13:39
			Deal with yourself and then you can come
		
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			back together and do what is good together.
		
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			And then we have the emotions generally.
		
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			Do you remember that happiness is contagious?
		
00:13:51 --> 00:13:52
			Do you remember that?
		
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			Experiencing happiness and gratitude and contentment, they are
		
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			things that can be very good for us
		
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			to give us that stability.
		
00:14:00 --> 00:14:03
			Brothers and sisters, when was the last time
		
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			both of you laughed and your ribs ached?
		
00:14:06 --> 00:14:07
			Husband and wife, this is a challenge.
		
00:14:07 --> 00:14:09
			When was the last time both of you
		
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			were laughing and you were rolling on the
		
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			ground?
		
00:14:12 --> 00:14:13
			You have not been doing that?
		
00:14:14 --> 00:14:15
			Or when was the last time both of
		
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			you laughed and you tapped each other's hand
		
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			in high five?
		
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			Tap like that, husband and wife.
		
00:14:22 --> 00:14:24
			When was the last time you laughed and
		
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			you took a loan at work?
		
00:14:25 --> 00:14:26
			And people would be like, what happened?
		
00:14:26 --> 00:14:28
			You say, I just remembered a joke we
		
00:14:28 --> 00:14:30
			cracked with my wife yesterday.
		
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			Or something my husband said that was too
		
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			funny.
		
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			When was the last time that you forwarded
		
00:14:36 --> 00:14:38
			a funny skit or video to your spouse?
		
00:14:39 --> 00:14:42
			How would you feel safe with someone that
		
00:14:42 --> 00:14:43
			cannot make you laugh?
		
00:14:45 --> 00:14:47
			And sometimes, it's not that people are not
		
00:14:47 --> 00:14:48
			ready to make you laugh, you are the
		
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			one that doesn't know even how to laugh.
		
00:14:52 --> 00:14:54
			You know some people will be holding laughter.
		
00:14:55 --> 00:14:55
			You know?
		
00:14:57 --> 00:14:58
			They can say somebody is stingy.
		
00:14:58 --> 00:14:59
			My sister.
		
00:15:00 --> 00:15:01
			Some people are stingy with laughter.
		
00:15:03 --> 00:15:03
			Yeah.
		
00:15:04 --> 00:15:05
			He doesn't laugh.
		
00:15:05 --> 00:15:06
			He doesn't smile.
		
00:15:07 --> 00:15:08
			He doesn't joke.
		
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			Please, what kind of a person is that?
		
00:15:11 --> 00:15:13
			And you know some of our brothers, they
		
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			will go to a wedding event, a wedding
		
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			party.
		
00:15:16 --> 00:15:18
			They will just stand like that and be
		
00:15:18 --> 00:15:18
			looking.
		
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			As in, I'm a sahaba here.
		
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			Yeah, I'm a sahaba on court.
		
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			No.
		
00:15:29 --> 00:15:30
			Let us have fun.
		
00:15:31 --> 00:15:32
			Let's make happiness.
		
00:15:32 --> 00:15:34
			Let's create joy.
		
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			Let's please each other.
		
00:15:38 --> 00:15:41
			It is what pleases us that we say
		
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			is pleasant.
		
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			Do pleasant things so that you can be
		
00:15:46 --> 00:15:47
			pleased with one another.
		
00:15:48 --> 00:15:50
			And it is when we are pleased with
		
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			each other by doing pleasant things, that's when
		
00:15:52 --> 00:15:56
			you enjoy the pleasure of marriage.
		
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			The pleasure of marriage can come when we
		
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			do and say pleasant things to each other.
		
00:16:04 --> 00:16:07
			And that brings us to niceness and kindness.
		
00:16:07 --> 00:16:08
			Being nice.
		
00:16:09 --> 00:16:10
			Being kind.
		
00:16:10 --> 00:16:13
			These are things Allah has never joked with
		
00:16:13 --> 00:16:14
			all of these things.
		
00:16:15 --> 00:16:16
			Allah Akbar.
		
00:16:16 --> 00:16:17
			What of the warmth?
		
00:16:17 --> 00:16:18
			What of the hospitality?
		
00:16:18 --> 00:16:22
			What of the virtues of benevolence and charity?
		
00:16:23 --> 00:16:26
			What of niceness that doesn't require being a
		
00:16:26 --> 00:16:27
			saint per se?
		
00:16:27 --> 00:16:29
			It doesn't require so much wealth.
		
00:16:29 --> 00:16:33
			It's just basic human decency for you to
		
00:16:33 --> 00:16:34
			be nice towards one another.
		
00:16:35 --> 00:16:39
			You've got to listen attentively and empathetically offer
		
00:16:39 --> 00:16:42
			genuine smiles and compliments to one another.
		
00:16:44 --> 00:16:46
			Speak kind words to people.
		
00:16:48 --> 00:16:51
			Live with your wife with maroom.
		
00:16:51 --> 00:16:52
			With niceness.
		
00:16:53 --> 00:16:56
			For the last time, you bought boxers as
		
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			a gift for your husband.
		
00:16:57 --> 00:16:59
			And he's the only one that's supposed to
		
00:16:59 --> 00:16:59
			be doing everything.
		
00:17:00 --> 00:17:02
			Then men, you don't know that you're supposed
		
00:17:02 --> 00:17:04
			to be nice to your wife after your
		
00:17:04 --> 00:17:04
			ibadah.
		
00:17:05 --> 00:17:06
			And let me tell you.
		
00:17:07 --> 00:17:09
			Let me tell you one thing that is
		
00:17:09 --> 00:17:10
			most difficult.
		
00:17:11 --> 00:17:14
			When it comes to being nice to one
		
00:17:14 --> 00:17:15
			another, couples.
		
00:17:16 --> 00:17:17
			You know what is most difficult?
		
00:17:18 --> 00:17:20
			Forgiving each other when we are angry.
		
00:17:21 --> 00:17:23
			And that is the most difficult thing for
		
00:17:23 --> 00:17:24
			us to do.
		
00:17:24 --> 00:17:27
			What types of crimes has anger not led
		
00:17:27 --> 00:17:29
			people into committing?
		
00:17:30 --> 00:17:33
			People have killed, people have destroyed because they
		
00:17:33 --> 00:17:34
			were angry.
		
00:17:35 --> 00:17:36
			Marriages have been broken.
		
00:17:36 --> 00:17:38
			Hearts have been broken.
		
00:17:38 --> 00:17:39
			Homes have been broken.
		
00:17:39 --> 00:17:42
			Children have been broken because we are angry.
		
00:17:43 --> 00:17:47
			And anger is a deviation from celebration.
		
00:17:47 --> 00:17:50
			It's an aberration to meaningful articulation.
		
00:17:51 --> 00:17:53
			You just kind of talk without saying anything.
		
00:17:54 --> 00:17:56
			And you say things without actually talking.
		
00:17:57 --> 00:17:58
			And so anger makes you to shout.
		
00:17:59 --> 00:18:00
			It makes you to scream.
		
00:18:01 --> 00:18:02
			It makes you to hate.
		
00:18:03 --> 00:18:04
			It makes you to hate.
		
00:18:05 --> 00:18:06
			It makes you to hurt.
		
00:18:06 --> 00:18:07
			And it makes you to cry.
		
00:18:08 --> 00:18:10
			Then it makes you to suffer.
		
00:18:10 --> 00:18:12
			And makes you to do stupid things.
		
00:18:13 --> 00:18:15
			Real stupid things that make you look really
		
00:18:15 --> 00:18:16
			stupid.
		
00:18:16 --> 00:18:18
			And even stupid people will call you stupid.
		
00:18:20 --> 00:18:22
			Because of what you have said out of
		
00:18:22 --> 00:18:23
			anger.
		
00:18:23 --> 00:18:24
			What you have done out of anger.
		
00:18:25 --> 00:18:27
			Anger makes you mess up your life.
		
00:18:27 --> 00:18:28
			It will mess up your marriage.
		
00:18:28 --> 00:18:30
			Mess up your career.
		
00:18:30 --> 00:18:31
			Mess up your relationship.
		
00:18:31 --> 00:18:32
			And mess up your destiny.
		
00:18:32 --> 00:18:36
			We cannot completely rid ourselves of the emotion
		
00:18:36 --> 00:18:37
			of anger.
		
00:18:37 --> 00:18:39
			But we must not allow it to be
		
00:18:39 --> 00:18:42
			cloud our other noble emotions of patience.
		
00:18:43 --> 00:18:44
			And understanding.
		
00:18:45 --> 00:18:45
			Please.
		
00:18:46 --> 00:18:48
			Let's forgive one another.
		
00:18:48 --> 00:18:50
			This is one of the most difficult thing
		
00:18:50 --> 00:18:51
			for couples to do.
		
00:18:52 --> 00:19:00
			If you can try the Quran says Those
		
00:19:00 --> 00:19:04
			who spend Allah's course in prosperity and adversity.
		
00:19:05 --> 00:19:06
			And who repress their anger.
		
00:19:07 --> 00:19:08
			And who pardon others when they offend them.
		
00:19:09 --> 00:19:11
			And Allah love those who are good doers.
		
00:19:11 --> 00:19:13
			You understand what that means?
		
00:19:14 --> 00:19:16
			It means Allah knows there are times we
		
00:19:16 --> 00:19:18
			are going to be pissed off with ourselves.
		
00:19:18 --> 00:19:19
			Sorry I am not supposed to say that.
		
00:19:21 --> 00:19:21
			Pissed off.
		
00:19:21 --> 00:19:22
			Is this Islamic?
		
00:19:23 --> 00:19:23
			Yes.
		
00:19:25 --> 00:19:26
			I don't want to say pissed off.
		
00:19:26 --> 00:19:29
			What else should I say apart from pissed
		
00:19:29 --> 00:19:29
			off?
		
00:19:33 --> 00:19:34
			You understand?
		
00:19:34 --> 00:19:35
			Ok.
		
00:19:36 --> 00:19:38
			I don't want to say it again.
		
00:19:38 --> 00:19:40
			I have said pissed off several times.
		
00:19:42 --> 00:19:44
			Sometimes we just piss each other off.
		
00:19:46 --> 00:19:48
			But what do you want to do?
		
00:19:48 --> 00:19:50
			We have to forgive.
		
00:19:50 --> 00:19:51
			You know?
		
00:19:51 --> 00:19:53
			That is the trial of our Iman.
		
00:19:53 --> 00:19:55
			As far as I am concerned that is
		
00:19:55 --> 00:19:59
			the best way to prove your Iman with
		
00:19:59 --> 00:19:59
			Allah.
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:02
			To forgive someone even when you are angry.
		
00:20:02 --> 00:20:03
			Even when you are annoyed.
		
00:20:04 --> 00:20:05
			And you still move on.
		
00:20:05 --> 00:20:06
			Not that you are not going to talk
		
00:20:06 --> 00:20:06
			about it.
		
00:20:07 --> 00:20:08
			Not that you are not going to address
		
00:20:08 --> 00:20:08
			it.
		
00:20:08 --> 00:20:10
			But you are ready to forgive.
		
00:20:10 --> 00:20:12
			If husband does it and wife does it.
		
00:20:12 --> 00:20:14
			This is going to stabilize our emotions.
		
00:20:14 --> 00:20:17
			You don't have to edit yourself to speak
		
00:20:17 --> 00:20:18
			to your husband anymore.
		
00:20:18 --> 00:20:20
			Because you know that whatever thing you say,
		
00:20:20 --> 00:20:21
			he will not judge you.
		
00:20:21 --> 00:20:22
			He will not use it against you.
		
00:20:22 --> 00:20:24
			Even if you make mistake, he will forgive
		
00:20:24 --> 00:20:24
			you.
		
00:20:26 --> 00:20:27
			Is it not better for us to do
		
00:20:27 --> 00:20:28
			that?
		
00:20:28 --> 00:20:30
			And finally, talent.
		
00:20:31 --> 00:20:33
			We must recognize each other's talent.
		
00:20:36 --> 00:20:38
			Everybody will find it easy to do the
		
00:20:38 --> 00:20:40
			things that Allah has created them for.
		
00:20:41 --> 00:20:42
			What are your talents?
		
00:20:42 --> 00:20:43
			What are your gifts?
		
00:20:43 --> 00:20:45
			What are you bringing to the family?
		
00:20:45 --> 00:20:47
			Everyone has got his super powers.
		
00:20:47 --> 00:20:48
			Just that we cannot fly.
		
00:20:49 --> 00:20:52
			But these talents are your ability to worship
		
00:20:52 --> 00:20:52
			Allah.
		
00:20:52 --> 00:20:53
			To do the right thing.
		
00:20:54 --> 00:20:56
			And to grow and to thrive in Allah.
		
00:20:57 --> 00:20:59
			As a couple, we should celebrate each other's
		
00:20:59 --> 00:21:00
			talents and gifts.
		
00:21:01 --> 00:21:03
			That way, we can have that sense of
		
00:21:03 --> 00:21:05
			belonging and sense of achievement.
		
00:21:06 --> 00:21:07
			We can feel safe.
		
00:21:07 --> 00:21:08
			We can feel honored.
		
00:21:08 --> 00:21:10
			We can feel appreciated.
		
00:21:10 --> 00:21:12
			And we can feel love in our home.
		
00:21:12 --> 00:21:17
			And this is where Allah says finally, And
		
00:21:17 --> 00:21:20
			Allah has put love and mercy in your
		
00:21:20 --> 00:21:20
			hearts.
		
00:21:21 --> 00:21:23
			There cannot be love without mercy.
		
00:21:23 --> 00:21:25
			And there cannot be mercy without love.
		
00:21:26 --> 00:21:29
			These are the biggest emotions that we have
		
00:21:29 --> 00:21:30
			to have for one another.
		
00:21:30 --> 00:21:32
			To truly love each other.
		
00:21:32 --> 00:21:34
			To truly show mercy on each other.
		
00:21:34 --> 00:21:36
			And then to have that safe haven, the
		
00:21:36 --> 00:21:38
			safe home of Sakina.
		
00:21:38 --> 00:21:49
			And that's why Allah says, So
		
00:21:49 --> 00:21:52
			they can find peace and tranquility in each
		
00:21:52 --> 00:21:52
			other.
		
00:21:53 --> 00:21:55
			This is how to find a safe haven,
		
00:21:56 --> 00:21:57
			a safe home.
		
00:21:59 --> 00:22:01
			So that they can experience what a safe
		
00:22:01 --> 00:22:02
			haven is.
		
00:22:02 --> 00:22:04
			The Garden of Eden.
		
00:22:04 --> 00:22:07
			So I've mentioned P-E-R-M-A
		
00:22:07 --> 00:22:10
			-N-E-N-T as mnemonics for all
		
00:22:10 --> 00:22:11
			of those things I've mentioned.
		
00:22:11 --> 00:22:15
			So that they have permanent peace of mind.
		
00:22:16 --> 00:22:19
			And permanent safe place for us to thrive
		
00:22:19 --> 00:22:22
			and to grow and to worship Allah.
		
00:22:23 --> 00:22:24
			Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
		
00:22:38 --> 00:22:38
			Peace.
		
00:22:38 --> 00:22:39
			Peace.
		
00:22:40 --> 00:22:40
			Peace.
		
00:22:41 --> 00:22:41
			Peace.
		
00:22:42 --> 00:22:43
			Peace.
		
00:22:45 --> 00:22:45
			Peace.