Abdulbary Yahya – Jumuah 03-01-2025
AI: Summary ©
The importance of love in relationships is emphasized, along with the need to find a home for a woman and find a partner. The speaker emphasizes the importance of finding the best way to express love and compassion, finding love in public and being present in a man's mind. The difficulty of love in a man's life is discussed, citing a brochure from the Prophet. forgiveness and communication between passengers are emphasized, and attendees are encouraged to donate through various means. The segment ends with a mention of a new lecture and breakfast.
AI: Summary ©
A brother approached me, and another sister, and
then another brother, and then also another sister.
They were mentioning, the brother was complaining about
his wife, of how hard he works, and
she doesn't appreciate what she does.
And another sister is complaining about the husband
also, complaining about the husband, about some of
his harshness and so forth, and how he
gets angry very quickly over just some of
the little things.
And then another brother complained about the same
thing, but about his wife.
Like, she gets angry for no reason.
I come home, and I have no idea
why.
I ask her why, she doesn't tell me
why she's angry.
I have no idea.
I don't understand her.
Like, what do I do?
And so, based on some of these interactions,
I wanted to just mention the relationship of
the Prophet ﷺ with his wives, and some
of the keys, the key points for a
happy relationship.
If you look at the life of the
Prophet ﷺ, sometimes we complain about how small
our houses are.
And often times, we have, maybe a sister
will come forward and say to the, or
a wife will say to the husband, we
need a bigger space, and he's trying to
find a house, and maybe she's saying, everyone
else already has a house, and so forth.
And look at our place.
We're still living in this apartment with all
the children that we have.
That's, you know, we really need to upgrade.
And it's stressful also for the husband.
But listen to what, during the time of
the Prophet ﷺ, Aisha r.a, she said,
I was sleeping in front of the Prophet
ﷺ, while he was standing up in prayer.
And whenever he wanted to make sujood, he
would tap my legs, he would tap me
on my leg, and I would curl up.
And then when he would stand up, I
would again stretch my legs.
Why was the Messenger of Allah ﷺ praying
there?
He was praying there because that's how big
the room, that's how big the house of
the Messenger of Allah ﷺ was.
That there was no other space.
If there were, do you think he would
be praying there?
And he would have to tap her, so
she would curl up.
The Prophet ﷺ was the best of mankind.
Yet Allah ﷻ chose for the best of
humanity, a simple lifestyle.
Yet even though it was simple, the wives
of the Prophet ﷺ, Aisha, Umm Salama and
others, they were pleased, they were happy with
the life that was chosen.
The life with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Why?
Because maybe the houses were small, but the
heart is big.
The love of the Prophet ﷺ, the kindness
of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, the compassion
of the Prophet ﷺ for his wives, that
they were happy.
So it goes both ways.
The sisters or the women should be pleased
with what Allah ﷻ has given and be
appreciative of whatever you have because there are
people out there that wish that they have
the house that you live in right now.
They wish that they have the apartment that
you have right now.
They wish they have something over their heads.
They wish they have something over their heads.
But whatever they have, they're appreciative of it.
And when you're appreciative of something, whatever you
have, you're pleased with what Allah ﷻ has
given to you, that's what al-ghina is.
That's richness right there.
The richness is the tranquility of the heart.
Al-ghina ghina nafs.
And so when you're dealing with people, be
merciful, be kind, try to use the best
because these are the people who are closest
to you, your wife, your family.
Try to find the best way to speak
to them.
Use the best speech when you're speaking to
them.
Sometimes we are very, very kind to our
guests and it's rightfully so.
And sometimes we're very nice to our friends.
But then when we speak to our parents,
we raise our voices, we would never do
that with some of our friends.
We would never do that with some of
our friends.
But the closest people to you are the
ones who deserve your kindness, the ones who
deserve your compassion, and your forgiveness, and your
love.
Allah ﷻ says, and of course this is
the first key principle, the first key points
for a loving relationship, a relationship based on
tawheed of Allah ﷻ and the love of
Allah ﷻ.
Allah ﷻ is the only one who can
change people's hearts.
And Allah ﷻ has made a relationship between
each other a sign.
Allah says, وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ
أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا And amongst His signs that He
has created for you, wives and spouses, لِتَسْكُنُوا
إِلَيْهَا Wives so that you can be comfortable
with them, and live with them in comfort
and tranquility.
وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم Who is
it?
Allah puts love, مَوَدَّةً and compassion in your
hearts.
إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ Surely this
is a sign for those who reflect.
For those who reflect.
And so, the love that you have for
each other, you love each other, and you
love each other for the sake of Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala.
It's one of the signs, and it is
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala who puts that
between husband and wives, that you have that
love and compassion.
And the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, he mentioned
as one of the blessings, as one of
the blessings, he says, إِنَّمَا حُبِّبَ إِلَيَّا مِنْ
دُنْيَاكُمْ النِّسَاءُ وَالطِّيبُ وَجُعِلَ قُرَّةُ عَيْنِ فِي الصَّلَاةِ
The Prophet ﷺ in this hadith, from Anas
ibn Malik, who said that the Prophet ﷺ
said, إِنَّمَا حُبِّبَ إِلَيَّا Indeed, the thing that
has made, meaning that which has been made
beloved to me.
Who is it?
Made beloved to me.
That Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala put it
in the heart of the Prophet ﷺ.
Amongst your dunya, amongst all the worldly affairs,
are women, طيب, women, perfume, meaning pleasant scents.
وَجُعِلَ قُرَّةَ عَيْنِ فِي الصَّلَاةِ And that which
gives me peace and tranquility, the coolness of
my eyes, is in prayer.
And so this is a blessing that when
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala puts that in
the hearts of a believer.
But of course, the Prophet ﷺ was very
loving towards his wife.
Even his speech, when he used to call
his wives.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ, as narrated by
Aisha radiallahu anha, who said that the Prophet
ﷺ said to her one day, Ya Aish!
Ya Aish!
Oh Aish!
This is like a sweet way of saying
Aisha.
Just the way that he called her, with
the best and the most beloved names to
her, to make her happy.
He said, هَذَا جِبْرِيلُ يُقْرِعُكِ السَّلَامُ This is
Jibreel, يُقْرِعُكِ السَّلَامُ He has given her, he's
sending his salams to you.
And so she said, and I said, وَعَلَيْهِ
السَّلَامُ وَرُحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُ So the way that
the Prophet ﷺ used to call also his
wife, he used to use the best of
names.
And in fact he wasn't even shy to
show his love for his wife in front
of people.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was asked by
Amr ibn Aas.
And Amr ibn Aas, he was asking this
question because he wanted to know who was
more beloved, because of the way the Prophet
ﷺ treated him.
Every time he looked at him, he was
always smiling.
So he said, Ya Rasulullah, O Messenger of
Allah, مَنْ أَحَبُّ النَّاسِ إِلَيْكِ Who is the
most beloved person to you?
Who is the most beloved of the people
to you?
What do you think he's gonna say?
Now imagine this, who is more amongst the
people?
If someone were to ask you this, ask
anyone, and you're in a company of other
people, what would you say?
Some of us might say, if you really
love your wife, if you really love your
wife, you might not even say it.
You might say, I love my mother.
I love my mother.
You might say, you love your mother.
But the Messenger of Allah ﷺ when he
was asked this question, مَنْ أَحَبُّ النَّاسِ إِلَيْكِ
He said, he didn't say my wife, or
this person, he said, Aisha.
He mentioned her name.
Imagine in public, mentioning your wife's name in
front of your friends is like, ya Allah.
We feel very uncomfortable, right?
We would feel very uncomfortable to mention even
our wife's name in front of other people.
But the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, he says,
Aisha.
He mentions her name in front of all
of these people.
And then he says, Amr ibn Aslan says,
إِنَّمَا أَعْنِي مِنَ الرِّجَالِ Now amongst the men,
who is the most beloved to you?
And so he says, فَأَبُوهَا If that's the
case, أَبُوهَا Then her father.
Did he mention, who is her father?
Did he mention Abu Bakr?
He didn't say Abu Bakr.
He said her father instead.
Her father.
Instead of saying like, some of us might
say, let's say your friend, you might say
something like, the daughter of Muhammad, if that's
her father, right?
Instead of mentioning her name.
But it's the opposite.
He mentions her name, and doesn't mention his
name.
And so how do you think she feels?
Aisha radiallahu anhu, she's hearing this.
She's happy.
Look, my husband just mentioned my name in
front of all of these people, to show
how much he loves me.
And so, even to the end, to the
end, at the end of his lifetime even,
the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam, Aisha radiallahu anhu,
she said, قَالَ لِي رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله
عليه وسلم إِنَّهُ لَيُهَوِّنُ عَلَيَّ الْمَوْتِ إِنَّهُ لَيُهَوِّنُ
عَلَيَّ الْمَوْتِ أَنِّي أُرِيتُكِ زَوْجَتِي فِي الْجَنَّةِ And
in times of, in the most difficult time,
in the pangs of death, the Prophet salallahu
alayhi wasalam says to Aisha, Aisha, even though
he is in pain, he says, Indeed, it
lessens the pangs of death, the throes of
death, the hardships of, at the end of
your lifetime when you're going through the most
difficult pain, إِنَّهُ لَيُهَوِّنُ عَلَيَّ الْمَوْتِ Death is
made easier for me, that because I was
shown that you, you will be my wife
in Jannah.
You will be my wife in Jannah.
So even in the most difficult times, he's
always compassionate, and always mentioning his love for
his wife.
And so if you love your wife, at
least tell her, because some of the men,
they don't know how to say I love
you.
Like it's not, they don't know how to
say it.
And maybe you say it the first two
months, and then after that, of marriage or
maybe the first year, because sometimes you know
they say, the first year, the husband speaks
and the wife listens.
The second year, the wife speaks and the
husband listens.
The third year, they both speak and the
neighbors are listening.
That's what happens sometimes, it just keeps on
getting worse.
But we have to always continue, even if
you've been married with someone for 10, 20
years, 30 years.
Always try to use the best words, and
when you try to mention to them, tell
them that you love them.
And inshaAllah, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, when
you make this effort, Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala is the one who will strengthen the
love between you and your wife.
So the Messenger of Allah ﷺ was very
compassionate, very kind, very gentle.
Aisha radiyallahu anha, she said, مَا ضَرَبَ رَسُولُ
اللهِ ﷺ خَادِمًا لَهُ قَطْ The Messenger of
Allah ﷺ never struck his servant ever.
وَلَمْ رَأَةً لَهُ قَطْ And he never hit
a woman ever.
وَلَا ضَرَبَ بِيَدْهِ And he never struck anyone
with his hand إِلَّا أَيُّ جَاهِدَ فِي سَبِيلِ
اللَّهِ Except in jihad, فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ And
the Messenger of Allah ﷺ also, he used
to lean upon his wife, and lay upon
the chest of his wife, even if she
was in her menses.
Aisha radiyallahu anha, أُمَيْمُونَ بِنْتِ الْحَارِثِ The wife
of the Prophet ﷺ, أُمُّ المُؤْمِنِينَ She said,
كَانَ الرَّسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَمُ يَضَعُ
رَأْسَهُ فِي حِجْرِ إِحْدَانَ The Messenger of Allah
ﷺ used to put his head up on
us.
فَيَتْلُو الْقُرْآنَ وَهِيَ هَاءَبْ And even if she's
in her menses, he would recite the Qur
'an.
Like lay down and recite the Qur'an.
So he's next to his wife.
He's always trying to be next to her
even when he's reciting the Qur'an.
And even when she's in her menses, he
would do so.
وَتَقُومَ إِحْدَانَ بِالْخُمْرَةِ إِلَى الْمَسْجِدِ And sometimes, one
of us would have some, if the Messenger
of Allah ﷺ needed some towel or anything
that was needed, we would, even if we
were in our menses, we would reach out
and we would give it to them.
So, you know, this is something that's mentioned.
Why?
Because the Yahud, whenever a woman is in
her menses, they kick her out of their
house or they leave the house.
They don't stay together in the same house.
And so, this is something that, of course,
affects any woman.
But even in times of menses, the Messenger
of Allah ﷺ would always spend time with
them also.
And not only just spend time with them,
but spend time, when she's mentioning this, that
means spend time in a romantic way.
Even in those times.
And that's how the Messenger of Allah ﷺ
was.
And the Messenger of Allah ﷺ also was
very humble.
Was very humble.
When he got married, when he was married
to Safiyyah.
And Safiyyah was someone who was very, very
short.
And so, sometimes it's very difficult for her
to get on the camel.
And so, on one occasion, she narrates the
Messenger of Allah ﷺ after getting married to
her.
When she wanted to get on the camel,
the Messenger of Allah ﷺ got on his
knees.
So that she could step on his knees
to get on the camel.
So, this is the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Like putting his, going down so that she
could step on him.
Yes, on the way.
So that she can get on the camel.
And this is the humbleness of the Messenger
of Allah ﷺ.
He used to race his wives also.
He used to race with Aisha r.a.
And Aisha, when she was a little bit,
when she was younger, and she didn't have
so, when she didn't gain that much weight,
she was able to beat the Prophet ﷺ.
She was very fast.
And then later on, when she raced him
again, she said, you know, I gained a
little bit of weight.
After that, later on, he beat me.
And he said, now we're even.
So the Prophet ﷺ tells the people to
leave, to go forward, so that he can
imagine you're traveling all the way together.
All together, right?
And then all of a sudden, he's like,
you guys go ahead, let me just stay
here for a bit.
If you were to do that with the
company of your friends and family who are
traveling, what are they going to say?
Oh, romantic.
You want to spend time with your wife
alone like that.
But the Messenger of Allah ﷺ was that
kind of person.
He was very, very compassionate and loving towards
his wife.
But his wives also were very, very, they
were also, they loved, they were pleased with
the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
And they loved the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
They were always at the service of the
Prophet ﷺ.
They always took care of things.
With that, you know, like, in the household.
And in terms of, of course, you always
have problems in any household.
Brothers, if you're in the masjid, please turn
off your phones.
Especially, you know, a lot of the brothers
are leaving their...
I just wanted to remind, I'll end it
with this inshaAllah.
This is very, very distracting.
When you don't turn off your phones.
And especially, some people are still working.
SubhanAllah, in Jum'ah.
You have your phone.
Leave it in your car.
Like you're still working.
Allah ﷻ orders us, يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا
إِذَا نُودِيَتْ إِصْوَاتِ مِي يَوْمِ الْجُمْعَةِ فَاسْعَوْا إِلَىٰ
ذِكْرِ اللَّهِ وَذَرُوا الْبَيْعِ فَاسْعَوْا إِلَىٰ ذِكْرِ اللَّهِ
وَذَرُوا الْبَيْعِ Quickly, we come forward to the
remembrance of Allah.
And leave all the worldly transactions and stuff.
You still have your phone on in the
masjid.
It's very, very distracting.
And I know some brothers, they come to
the masjid.
And then they immediately leave.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has already written
for you.
He's already written for you.
Whatever you're going to get, you're not going
to, it's not gonna go away.
You will get it.
You will get it if it's written for
you already, that rizq.
And if it's not coming to you, if
it wasn't written for you, no matter how
fast you leave the masjid, you're not getting
it.
No matter how fast you leave the masjid,
no matter how long you leave your phone
on to try to wait for passengers and
so forth, you're not going to get anything.
There's no barakah in it.
There's no barakah in it whatsoever.
Put your trust in Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala.
When it's time to pray, turn that off.
Leave it outside the masjid.
Don't bring it in, leave it outside the
masjid.
Otherwise your mind is going to think, oh
no, you know what, I have to go
back out.
Why you're in the masjid?
And afterwards you go really quickly because you're
afraid maybe you're not going to get that
ride and so forth.
It's not coming if it's not written for
you.
If it's already written for you, you can
stay here in the masjid three hours after
the khutbah is over and it will still
come to you.
It will still come to you.
Put your trust in Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala.
I say this and ask forgiveness for me
and for you.
So ask forgiveness for me and for you.
Indeed, He is the Forgiver.
Alhamdulillah rabbil alameen.
wal aqibatu lil muttaqeen.
wa laa udwana illa ala al zalimeen.
wa usalli wa usallim ala ashraf al anbiya
wa al mursaleen.
nabina muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi ajma
'een.
Amma ba'd.
Aisha radhiallahu anha shisad.
Kana Rasulullahi sallallahu alaihi wa sallam idha ghabib
ala Aisha wada yadahu ala mankibiha.
Fa qal, Allahumma ghfir laha dhanbaha wa adhib
ghayza qalbiha.
wa idha min mudillatil fitan.
The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam whenever he
was angry at Aisha radhiallahu anha he didn't
yell at her and scream and so forth.
What he did was he would put his
hand on her shoulders and he would say,
O Allah, forgive her sins.
Forgive her of her sins.
Make that anger from her heart go away.
And protect her from the trials, the fitan
that will lead people astray, that will stray
you.
So this is something that is a lesson
for us also.
When you're angry at your wife, touch her
in her shoulders and make dua to Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Instead of yelling and screaming, it's not gonna
change much, right?
Make dua, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is
the one who can change.
And ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to
forgive her also.
So we have to learn to forgive each
other, as I mentioned before.
The closest people to you, no one is
perfect.
We're not perfect, so we have to also
learn to forgive.
Especially many brothers and sisters, especially the sisters,
they may forgive someone.
They say, oh no, you know what?
Okay, I forgive you.
But whenever they get angry, when they get
angry again, they will dig that back up
again.
They will dig that back up again.
That's why one of the brothers jokingly, he
mentioned, he said, one of the best people,
the best archaeologists, those who dig up the
remnants of old civilizations, he said, women make
the best, because they love to dig up
the past.
They bring up the past.
But if you forgive somebody, forgive them for
the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
And once you forgive it, forgive them, do
it for the sake of Allah, don't mention
it again.
Don't mention it again, because when you mention
it again, it hurts them a lot.
It hurts your husband a lot also.
And also sometimes, when you're angry at something,
you know, there are times, sometimes you might
think your husband knows that he did something
wrong.
But sometimes he doesn't know.
But you don't tell him, he won't know
what to do.
So if there's something you don't like, ahead
of time, just tell them.
Like, this is something I don't like.
Like, clear communication between each other is very,
very helpful.
Instead of thinking, you should already know.
Like, no, somebody, a husband, a good husband
would know.
A good husband would know.
And instead of clarifying to them, let them
know clearly, like, this is something I don't
like, and so forth.
And so that's why sometimes, when you get
angry, it makes him angry also, because he
doesn't know why you're angry.
So the fact that the woman is angry,
maybe makes the husband angry also, because of
that.
So when you're angry, if you're standing up,
sit down.
If you're sitting down, lay down.
And before that even, if you're angry, go
make wudu.
Because anger is from the shaytan.
And stand up in prayer, and ask Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala for the best of
this world and hereafter.
And make du'a for each other.
Make du'a for each other.
You can't claim to love someone if you
don't make du'a for them.
Do you love someone and never make du
'a for them?
When's the last time you made du'a
for your wife?
Make your du'a for your wife and
the wives.
Make du'a for your husbands.
And be compassionate to them.
It's not difficult to please a husband.
You just go, inshaAllah, if he's at work,
call him, tell him you love him.
He'll work even harder.
One call a day to him, just tell
him that you love him, you appreciate what
he's doing.
He'll work even harder.
Just one word, he will work even harder.
And so we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala to give us the best of this
world and hereafter.
And we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
to rectify our conditions.
Allahumma anfir lil muslimina wal muslimat wal mu'minina
wal mu'minat al ahya'i minhum wal amwat.
Allahumma ati nufusana taqwaha wa zakkiha anta khairu
man zakkaha anta waliyuha wa mawlaha.
Allahumma a'izzal islama wal muslimin Allahumma a
'izzal islama wal muslimin wa dhillal shirk wal
mushrikeen wa damr al a'daaka a'da al deen
Rabbana dhulamna anfusana wa illam taghfir lana wa
tarhamna la nakoonanna minal khasireen.
Rabbana a'tina fil dunya hasana wa fil akhirati
hasana wa qina a'thaban nara.
Inna Allah wa malaikatuhu yusalluna ala nabiy Ya
ayyuhal adhina amanu sallu alayhi wa salimu taslima
wa aqimu salam.
Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar Ashadu an la ilaha
illa Allah Ashadu anna Muhammadan Rasool Allah Hayya
ala al shalah hayya ala al falah Qadi
qamat al shalat qadi qamat al shalah Allahu
Akbar Allahu Akbar La ilaha illa Allah Allahu
Akbar Alhamdulillahi
Rabbil Alameen Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem Maliki Yawm
al Deen Iyyaka Na'budu Wa Iyyaka Nastaeen
Ihdina As-Sirata Mustaqeem Sirata Al-Ladhina An
'amta Alayhim Ghayri Al-Maghdoobi Alayhim Wala Al
-Dalli Wa
Al-Duhaa Wa Al-Layli Itha Saja Ma
Wadda'aka Rabbuka Wama Qala Wala Al-Akhiratu
Khayrun Laka Mina Al-Ula Wala Sawfa Yu'tiika
Rabbuka Fa Tarda Alam Yajidaka Yateeman Fa Awa
Wa Wajadaka Zallan Fa Hada Wa Wajadaka A
'ila Fa Aghna Fa Amma Al-Yateema Fa
La Taqhahar Wa Amma As-Sa'ila Fa
La Tanhar Wa Amma Bin'amati Rabbika Fa
Hadd Allah Allah
Allah Alhamdulillahi
Rabbil Alamin Al-Rahman Al-Rahim Maliki Yawm
Al-Din Iyyaka Na'budu Wa Iyyaka Nastaeen
Ihdina As-Sirata Al-Mustaqeem Sirata Al-Ladhina
An'amta Alayhim Ghayri Al-Maghdubi Alayhim Waladda
Alam Nashrah Laka Sadrak Wa Waba'na Anka
Wizrak Al-Ladhee Anqad Zahrak Wa Raf'na
Laka Zikrak Fa'inna Ma'al Usri Yusra
Fa'inna Ma'al Usri Yusra Fa'idha
Faraghta Fan Sabr Wa Ila Rabbika Farrab
Allah Allah Allah
Allah Allah
Allah Allah As
you can see, we do have a new
way to to donate to the masjid and
you see that plaque that says tap to
give and you have three squares.
The way to do it is just tap
it and then don't leave it there, just
tap it and then take it out and
you hear a beep.
The second beep is the confirmation that it
went through inshallah.
So you don't have to hold it there.
Just like how you pay in the stores,
you do the same thing with that inshallah.
And also again, we do have our sheikh,
sheikh Ali Grad inshallah giving a lecture after
Juma every single or after Maghrib every Juma
inshallah.
The lecture in the Somali language and we
do have our Quran halaqa in the morning
tomorrow inshallah after fajr.
Please make time to join us inshallah.
We'll also have breakfast afterwards inshallah.
And of course as I mentioned there are
different ways to give through cash, through other
things also.
You can even see the QR code out
in the front and at the same time
also we do have new prayer time sheets
so you can collect them inshallah.
And on the prayer time sheets you'll be
able to get the phone number also to
pay or to give to those who want
to give through cash, app, demo and zelle
and so forth.