Abdul Rahman Chao – 2024-10-08
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AI: Transcript ©
As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu I
bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of
Allah I
bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger
of Allah Come to Prayer Come
to Prayer Alhamdulillah
We praise Him, we ask His help and
we ask His forgiveness We seek refuge in
Allah from the evil of our souls and
from the evil of our deeds Whomsoever Allah
guides, none can misguide him, and whosoever He
leads astray, none can guide him.
I bear witness that there is none worthy
of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is
His servant and Messenger صلى الله عليه وعلى
آله وصحبه أجمعين وسلم تسليمًا كثيرًا أمّا بعد
The Prophet ﷺ was once sitting with his
wife Aisha رضي الله تعالى عنها And a
group of Jews came in front of the
Prophet ﷺ and they said أسام عليك يا
أب القاسم So they said to the Prophet
ﷺ death be to you, Abul Qasim This
was the nickname of the Prophet ﷺ The
Prophet ﷺ calmly replied وعليكم and to you
But when Aisha رضي الله عنها she heard
this she was so enraged that she said,
and may the curse of Allah, and the
anger of Allah be upon you, etc, etc.
So the Prophet ﷺ said to Aisha radiallahu
anha, slow down, take it easy, for verily
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala likes things that
are in moderation, in gentleness, done in a
gentle fashion.
Aisha radiallahu anha she said, Messenger of Allah,
did you not hear what they said to
you?
They were wishing upon you death.
And the Prophet ﷺ, he said, and did
you not hear what I said?
Did you not hear my reply to them?
For their du'a will not be accepted,
but my du'a will be accepted.
This hadith, brothers and sisters, teaches us about
a very important characteristic.
And that is, how to ignore, how to
disregard, how to hear something that you may
dislike, or something that you see, something that
annoys you, something that bothers you, and you
don't give it the oxygen that it's craving
for.
This characteristic, brothers and sisters, is an art
form.
And in Arabic, they call this, it means
to deliberately disregard.
Not that you don't know it, you are
very well aware of what is going on,
but you choose to not point it out,
or make a big deal about it.
It's from the same root word as ghafla,
heedlessness, which is a negative characteristic, but in
this context, this is not ghafla, this is
taghaful.
This is to knowingly disregard, to pretend to
not notice, to ignore.
Brothers and sisters, this noble characteristic is something
that all the previous prophets and messengers, they
all practiced.
You look at their lives, you notice, that
the number of verbal assaults, and the way
how they were harassed, the prophets and messengers,
although it would affect them, but they didn't
let it get to them.
So they would ignore.
Because sitting there and stressing and burdening yourself
with the thoughts of others about you, that's
not worth your time and your health.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells us in
the Qur'an, what did the people of
Aad say to Prophet Hud a.s. They
said, قَالَ الْمَلَءُ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا مِن قَوْمِهِ إِنَّ
لَنَا رَاكَ فِي سَفَاهَةٍ وَإِنَّ لَنَظُنُكَ مِنَ الْكَاذِبِينَ
We, they said, you could say the upper
class people, the people in power, they said,
as for you, we see in you a
foolishness.
سَفَاهَة Basically they're saying, we think you are
stupid, and we think that you are from
among the liars.
Prophet Hud a.s. he responded, he didn't
lash out and say, that is false, but
you are foolish, and add on the insults.
No, he simply says, قَالَ يَا قَوْمِ لَيْسَ
بِي سَفَاهَةٍ وَلَكِنِّي رَسُولٌ مِنْ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ I'm
not the one who is foolish, I do
not have foolishness in me, but in fact
I am a messenger sent from Allah s
.w.t. So whether you are at work,
whether you are at school, whether you are
with family, with friends, or those you meet
off the street, learning the art of ignoring
these small things, these annoyances, it will get
you far in your career.
It will get you far in your relationships.
Because if you are constantly listening to what
someone else is saying, and you feel the
need to have the last word, and you
have to go and tell them off, and
set the record straight, and show them who's
in charge, and that you are right, and
letting them know that they are wrong, you're
going to live a very miserable life.
You're going to live a life full of
stress, always wondering, who is talking about me?
How are they thinking about me?
Do my colleagues like me?
Or do they secretly talk behind my back?
Brothers and sisters, look at the Prophet ﷺ.
Look how he viewed the mockery that came
in his direction.
He one time said to his companion, he
said, أَلَا تَعَجَبُونَ كَيْفَ يَصْرِفُ اللَّهُ عَنِّي شَتْمَ
قُرَيْشِ وَلَعْنَهُمْ يَشْتُمُونَ مُذَمَّمًا وَيَلْعَنُونَ مُذَمَّمًا وَأَنَا
مُحَمَّدٌ ﷺ He said, are you not amazed
by how Allah ﷻ protects me and removes
from me the insults and the curses of
Quraysh?
So what the Quraysh used to do is
that they used to take the name of
Muhammad ﷺ, which means the one who is
praiseworthy, and they used to flip it in
its meaning and they would say مُذَمَّم مُذَمَّم
means the one who you blame.
So they used to go around in front
of the Prophet ﷺ and they would curse
مُذَمَّم and they would mock مُذَمَّم.
They're thinking that they're mocking the Prophet ﷺ.
And the Prophet ﷺ hears it.
He knows what they're saying.
He says, look, are you not amazed by
how Allah ﷻ removes those insults and protects
me from their insults?
They are cursing مُذَمَّم, the one who is
blameworthy.
They are insulting مُذَمَّم.
But I am the praiseworthy.
I am Muhammad.
In other words, they're not even getting to
me because I'm not مُذَمَّم.
I am Muhammad ﷺ.
Allah tells us in the Qur'an that
when people come to you with foolish things,
you have to learn to ignore.
And one of these characteristics Allah describes in
the Qur'an, وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى
الْأَرْضِ هَوْنَا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا And
the slaves of the merciful, they walk on
this earth in a humble way.
And if the ignorant folk address them, they
respond to them in peace.
It doesn't necessarily mean that they say the
word سَلَام, peace to them.
If you look in the tafsir, it says,
سَالِمًا مِنْ الْإِثْمِ You respond to them, it
doesn't mean you ignore them completely, but you
respond to them in a way where it
doesn't incur a sin on yourself.
الْأَحْنَفُ بِالْقَيْسِ who was a Tabi'i, he
was known for having forbearance.
And someone had a dispute with him, and
he started insulting him.
So he ignored him.
So the man came in front of him,
and he said to al-Ahnaf bin Qais,
إِيَّاكَ عَنِّي I am referring to you.
I'm directing this insult to you, not anyone
else, but to you.
And so al-Ahnaf bin Qais, he said,
وَعَنْكَ أُعْرِضُ And I am ignoring you.
So this man became enraged, and he said,
وَاللَّهِ لَأَسُبَنَّكَ سَبًّا يَدْخُلُ مَعْكَ قَبْرَكَ By Allah,
I will insult you and curse you in
such a way that even when you are
dead in the grave, this curse will follow
you and people who are left will still
remember that diss, that insult of what I
said.
So al-Ahnaf, he said, No, it's not
going to follow me into the grave.
It's actually going to follow you into your
grave, because it is your action, and not
mine.
In other words, don't sit there and burden
yourself with what they think.
So the man got even more enraged.
He said, لَوْ تَقُولُكَ كَلِمَةً تَسْمَعْ مِنِي عَشَرًا
If you say one more word, I'm going
to add ten more insults to you.
So al-Ahnaf bin Qais, he said, And
if you say ten more insults to me,
you will not hear even one word from
me.
Brothers and sisters, Umar bin Abdulaziz was one
time walking in the masjid, and it was
dark, and he didn't see, and he had
his guards with him.
And he ended up tripping over someone who
was sleeping.
And the man woke up, he was so
angry, so enraged that he got someone kicked
him by accident.
He didn't know it was a khalifa.
He screamed at him, he says, Are you
insane?
And the guards were about to pounce on
him, and Umar bin Abdulaziz, he stopped him,
and he responded to the man with full
calmness, and he says, No, I'm not crazy.
And he just went along with his way.
So the guards said, But you saw the
way how they were treating you.
He said, I heard what they said.
He simply asked me a question, if I'm
insane, and I said, No, I'm not insane
whatsoever.
In other words, part of the way if
you want to be able to ignore, is
to not think too much of yourself.
He is the khalifa, but he doesn't think
too much of himself.
And before we end with this khutba, the
first khutba, I want to tell you of
another interesting story, which is the third khalifa
of the Abbasid caliphate, al-Mahdi.
He was in his court, and he was
listening to all the people coming and telling
him, and requesting things, and this person wants
to complain about this person, and this one
person comes into his court, and he holds
up this slipper, and he goes, يَا أَمِيرَ
الْمُؤْمِنِينَ هَذَا نَعْلُ رَسُولِ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ
وَسَلَّمَ He holds up this slipper, God knows
where he got it from, he says, I
have for you the slipper of the Prophet
ﷺ, and I hereby present it to you,
oh caliph.
The khalifa said, bring it.
So he comes forward, brings the sandal to
him, and then he takes it, and then
he kisses it, and he places it on
his eyes.
Then he tells his treasurer, he says, give
him 10,000 coins, 10,000 silver coins.
So this man walks happy, leaving the royal
palace, thinking that, I just fooled the khalifa.
I fooled the khalifa.
So he's walking away with his money, a
bag of coins, and then afterwards, after he
leaves, the khalifa says, Wallahi, I swear by
Allah, that I know that the Prophet ﷺ
has never even seen those shoes, let alone
even worn them.
But why did I give him 10,000
coins?
Because, if I said, no, you are a
liar, he will go out to the public
and say, I came with the sandal of
the Prophet ﷺ, and the khalifa rejected it.
And the masses, most likely, will believe him,
even when he is wrong.
So I purchased his silence with money, and
it was worth it.
...
Brothers and sisters, learning to ignore things that
happen in your household, is the way of
the Prophet ﷺ.
And more often than not, the way how
many of us were raised, we were probably
raised by parents who were excessively controlling, and
in fact I would dare say control freaks.
They are literally looking for faults to come
and smack you.
Looking for faults to criticize you.
Looking for faults just to say how they're
right and you're wrong.
And threatening you.
And we are conditioned sometimes to think that,
that's good parenting.
Look at the way of the Prophet ﷺ,
look how he parented.
Anas bin Malik served the Prophet ﷺ for
10 years.
And in the way how he would serve
the Prophet ﷺ, the Prophet ﷺ would never
say, why did you do this and why
didn't you do that?
He never said that to him.
One time the Prophet ﷺ sent Anas bin
Malik on an errand and he was a
young boy, so he said, I'm not gonna
do it.
But in his heart he says, no, no,
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna obey the Prophet ﷺ.
He went out into the street and he
got distracted.
He saw some young kids playing in the
marketplace.
And he completely lost track of time.
The Prophet ﷺ came from behind him, he
grabbed him by the neck gently, and he
said, Ya Unais, O Unais, it's a diminutive
form of Anas, to show love and kindness.
He said, did you do what I told
you to do?
He said, no, I haven't.
And the Prophet ﷺ was saying this with
a smile on his face.
He wasn't smacking him on the neck and
saying, how dare you disobey me?
Brothers and sisters, learning to ignore also applies
to the way how you treat your spouse.
Sometimes your spouse might say something.
You don't need to sit down and be
like, I have to show them that who's
in charge.
It's not necessary.
And I want to end off with this
interesting story of the companion, Mughira ibn Shuarba.
Mughira ibn Shuarba was a very smart and
shrewd companion.
And he wanted to one time approach this
younger woman for marriage.
But he knew that he was a little
bit older.
And there was this other young man that
was coming.
He also was interested in marrying this woman.
So Mughira ibn Shuarba he thought to himself,
well there's no chance for me.
She's going to go for the younger person.
She's never gonna go for me.
So the woman said to Mughira ibn Shuarba
and to the young man, I will not
give you my response until I hear what
you have to say and then I will
decide.
So she invited them over and they were
sitting in a room and she was sitting
in another place where they couldn't see her.
She could see them and hear them.
So they started talking.
And Mughira ibn Shuarba was very smart.
So he's like, oh, how are you and
what kind of talents do you have?
So this young man started naming all his
talents.
I can do this and I can do
this.
I have this talent.
And Mughira's like, okay, okay.
And then Mughira kind of stayed quiet.
And then he said, how are you with
your money management and finances?
Remember, this woman is listening.
So he said, nothing escapes, not a single
cent escapes my gaze.
Every single transaction, even if it's as small
as a seed, I watch that money.
He thinks he's so proud.
Mughira ibn Shuarba says, oh, well, you know,
for me, I just have a bag of
money and I leave it in the corner
of the house.
And the women folk just go into that
bag of money and they take whatever they
need and I just ignore it.
And when the money runs out, then they'll
tell me that they need more money.
So I put another bag of money in
the corner.
When the woman heard that, she says, wallahi,
I would not want to marry someone who's
sitting there and nickel and diming me for
every single cent.
And so she says no to the young
man and she agreed to marry Mughira ibn
Shuarba.
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